COLlive Magazine - Kislev 5781

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M A G A Z I N E FROM QUARANTINE TO FREEDOM

Homeschooling Tips Torah for Healing Impact on Shidduchim

MY TUMULTUOUS HAPPYMAKING CHANUKAH JOURNEY Battle Over PublicPESACH Menorahs Personal Story

Preparation Advice

Mivtzoim During Pandemic TheaChef's Recipes and more!

Halachic Q&A's

THE RESILIENCE OF ZALMAN DEITSCH MAKING IT WORK: Professionals' New Reality Valuable Startup Tips

STAR AH CHANUK DISHES

ISSUE 6

KISLEV 5781 / DECEMBER 2020

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CONTENTS CHANUKAH

8

26 42 29 52

Making It Work From Home

R' Zalman's Life

The Kind Chossid

HALACHIC Q&A

10

BRINGING MIVTZOIM BACK

14

THE MENORAH BATTLES

20

CHANUKAH 1982 WITH THE REBBE

64

DEEP-FRIED STAR DISHES

70

MOROCCAN SFINGE DONUTS

COLUMNS

4

From the Publisher

6

Dvar Malchus

Mica Soffer

From the Rebbe

24

Weekly Features of COLlive.com

Pandemic Simchas

33

Our Shuls

Musicians Love It

49

Chinuch

55

Business Tips

57

Ask the Therapist

Mothers of Crown Heights

60

Health

Chesed Profile

76

Humor

4 Mini-Communities

Danit Schusterman

Rabbi Yehoshua Werde

Rabbi Daniel Schonbuch

Sruly Meyer

Mordechai Schmutter

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FROM THE PUBLISHER Mica Soffer

EDITOR

Rabbi Yehuda Ceitlin

ASSISTANT EDITOR Toiby Hayes

CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Libby Herz Avraham Lobock Sruly Meyer Mordechai Schmutter Rabbi Daniel Schonbuch Danit Schusterman Sara Trappler Spielman Rabbi Yehoshua Werde Chaya Witkes Dovid Zaklikowski

DESIGN

Toiby Hayes

COVER PHOTO Yossi Sherman

PHOTOS Itzik Roytman Hasidic Archives JEM Meir Pliskin Nechama Photography

ADVERTISING Phone: 718-679-9450 ext. 2 Email: ads@COLlive.com EDITORIAL INQUIRIES OR SUBMISSIONS Phone: 718-679-9450 ext. 1 Email: Editor@COLlive.com COLlive Magazine is published in print periodically by the Collive Media Group Inc. and is distributed free in Brooklyn, NY. COLlive does not endorse any products or services reported about or advertised in COLlive Magazine unless specifically noted. The acceptance of advertising in COLlive Magazine does not constitute a recommendation, approval or other representation o quality of products or services, or the credibility of any claims made by advertisers including, but not limited to, the kashrus or advertised food products. The use of any products or services advertised in COLlive Magazine is solely at the user’s risk and COLlive accepts no responsibility or liability in connection therewith.

In the early fifties, Crown Heights was a beautiful Jewish neighborhood in Brooklyn.

Yet with all the freedom they were afforded, Jews in the midtwentieth century were still uneasy about being seen as too Jewish, Rabbi David Eliezrie writes in his book The Secret of Chabad.

The Yeshiva at 770 Eastern Parkway had just a few dozen students, he tells. One of the dorms was a 20-minute walk away. But the Rebbe insisted that the bochurim walk there on foot.

The Rebbe wanted the Jews who were starting to assimilate to see Yeshiva students in hats, jackets and beards - unafraid to express their identity.

The Rebbe did the same with Chanukah. In the early days, erecting Menorahs in public squares was an oddity and an uphill battle (as detailed in an article in this magazine). We were not deterred. More Menorahs were built, larger lighting ceremonies were arranged and Car Menorah Parades filled the streets.

Today, Chassidim walking down Eastern Parkway is a regular sight and Chanukah is perhaps the most publicized Jewish holiday in America and the world over. The Rebbe succeeded in magnifying pirsumei nisa - publicizing

the miracle of Chanukah - to unprecedented proportions.

If you think about it, pirsumei nisa was literally written with our crazy world in mind. Even with some of our movements being restricted due to the pandemic, we can easily share the light and warmth of Chanukah with others.

The Mitzvah Society (profiled in this magazine) allows you to ship a Menorah kit to literally anyone in the world. Driving around with a Menorah is definitely fine with the CDC. Another method is via social media. Our constant connectivity means that any idea and message can instantly be shared with a wider audience than our immediate surroundings.

Posting your photo celebrating Chanukah with family or friends can inspire a not yet frum relative or acquaintance to do the same.

In this dark and uncertain world, every bit of extra light is essential.

Happy Chanukah!

Mica Soffer P.S. We’d love to hear what you thought of this edition of the magazine, and we’re always open to hear ideas and suggestions.

Email them to editor@COLlive.com.

Mica Soffer FIND US ON SOCIAL MEDIA:

@COLliveOfficial

@COLlive

Photo by: Nechama Photography

PUBLISHER

MICA SOFFER

718.679.9450

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A letter from the Rebbe from Chanukah 5743 (1982) Courtesy of Sichos in English By the Grace of G-d Erev Shabbos Kodesh and Erev Chanukah 5743 Brooklyn, N.Y. To the Sons and Daughters of Our People Israel, Everywhere, G-d Bless you all!

Greeting and Blessing: As we are about to begin the celebration of Chanukah by — among other things — kindling the Chanukah Lights each night of Chanukah, this is a time of reflection on the meaningful lessons of the Festival of Lights.

To quote my father-in-law of saintly memory: ”We should listen attentively to what the Chanukah Lights are telling us.”

It would be fitting, therefore, to take a few minutes to reflect on some aspects of the Mitzvah of kindling the Chanukah Lights.

To perform this Mitzvah one needs, of course, a candle or an oil lamp. The candle, or oil and wick, are common material things; yet, when kindled in fulfillment of the Divine precept, in remembrance of the miraculous events ”in those days at this time,” after reciting the appropriate benedictions — ”these lights (become) sacred, and we are not permitted to make use of them, but only to look at them, in order to offer thanks and praise to Your great Name for Your miracles, for Your wonders and for Your salvations.”

The Mitzvah of the Chanukah Lights symbolizes — in a tangible and visible way — all the Mitzvot of the Torah, all of which are defined in terms of light: Ner Mitzvah

v’Torah Or (”A Mitzvah is a candle, and the Torah is Light” — Prov. 6:23). In the case of all Mitzvot, some material object and/ or physical and mental activity is involved (as wool in Tzitzis, leather in Tefillin, etc.).

Yet, when that material thing is dedicated to a sacred purpose, in fulfillment of G-d’s command, it becomes sacred, and the performance of the Mitzvah creates a light which, though invisible to the physical eye, irradiates the person performing the Mitzvah as well as the surrounding material world, making them more spiritual, and enabling them to transcend the confines of the physical world.

The Mitzvah of Ner Chanukah has the unique feature of being performed in a steadily increasing manner: One candle is lit the first night; two the second, and so on. This reminds us forcefully — again in a visible and concrete way — that all things connected with Torah and Mitzvot have to be on the increase. No matter how satisfactory the level of one’s Torah —and Mitzvot — experience may be on any given day, it is not adequate for the next day; and next day’s advancement — sufficient in itself — is still inadequate for the day after Living Yiddishkeit requires continuous growth, there is always room for enriching one’s spiritual life.

A further unique feature of the Mitzvah of Ner Chanukah is that while it is kindled within the home, and illuminates it with the sacred light of Torah and Mitzvot, it is required to be seen also ”outside.” The basic reason for this is to ”publicize the miracle of Chanukah.” But, symbolically, it conveys the message that everyone of us who lights Chanukah candles should

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DVAR MALCHUS not forget those of our brethren who, for one reason or another, are unaware of Chanukah; unaware, perhaps, even of their Jewish identity and heritage, and are walking in darkness outside. It is our duty to reach out to them and bring the light of living Yiddishkeit into their hearts and homes. And these efforts, too, should be carried on in the spirit of Chanukah — in a growing measure.

In summary, the Chanukah Lights remind us that every Jew, man and woman (both are dutybound to fulfill this Mitzvah), has a G-d-given task to spread the light of the Torah and Mitzvot in their personal life, in their home and family, and in the community at large; and to do all this in a consistently growing measure.

If this task may seem too difficult — the three benedictions recited over the Chanukah Lights should dispel all doubts: The first is an expression of gratitude to HaShem ”who has sanctified us with His commandments and commanded us to kindle the Chanukah Light.” It also reminds us that since G-d has commanded every Jew to fulfill His Mitzvot, it is certain that He has provided every Jew with all the capacities necessary to carry out His command. Obviously, G-d would not give one a task which he knows to be beyond the Individual’s capacity But sometimes there may be external, seemingly insurmountable, hindrances in the way of living Jewishly to the fullest degree. So the second benediction — ”... who performed miracles for our forefathers in those days, at this time” — should not let us become disheartened. No Jew has had greater difficulty to live Jewishly than our forefathers in those days, under the oppression of that mad tyrant Antiochus. But when Jews —like Mattityahu and his sons and their followers — were determined to give their lives for Torah and Mitzvot — G-d

performed miracles for them and ”delivered the mighty into the hands of the (physically) weak, the many into the hands of the few,” etc. G-d is ”still” capable to perform miracles for Jews, if it be necessary.

The third benediction (recited only the first time the Chanukah Light is kindled) is the familiar Shehecheyanu: ”... who has granted us life, sustained us, and enabled us to reach this occasion.” It is a joyous blessing, recited on joyous occasions, and it tells us that G-d gives us the strength to fulfill all His Mitzvot with vitality, enthusiasm and joy.

The celebration of Chanukah, beginning on the 25th of Kislev, commemorates the rededication of the Beis Hamikdosh, the kindling of the Ner Tomid (the Perpetual Light of the Menorah), and the resumption of the Divine service in the purified Sanctuary.

This in summary is also the central instruction of Chanukah for the everyday life and conduct of every Jew, which should be in keeping with G-d’s request: Make for Me a Sanctuary that I may dwell in theme (within every Jew). In other words, Hashem requests of every Jew, man and woman, to build and consecrate an inner ”sanctuary”, on the Altar of which he and she offer to G-d of their time, energy, money and their personal gratification.

Doing all this, and doing it with joy and enthusiasm, is a continuous process of dedication and re-dedication, a real ”Chanukah” in its every day profoundest sense.

May G-d grant that every one of us be truly inspired by the teachings of Chanukah and of the Chanukah Lights, and translate this inspiration into actual deeds, in our everyday life and conduct.

This will surely hasten the end of the dark night of the Golus (exile), and bring the bright dawn and day of the true and complete Geulo, through our righteous Moshiach, and the fulfillment of the Divine request and promise to: ”Raise your voice in song, sound the drums, the pleasant harp (Kinnor) and the lute.” The Kinnor of the Beis Hamidkosh in Moshiach’s times, the Kinnor with eight strings.

With prayerful wishes for a bright Chanukah and a bright always, and With blessing,

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HOW MUCH MONEY SHOULD I BE SPENDING ON A MENORAH? According to Halachah, a wax candle is considered to be a wick in a wax container.

Technically, there is no need to insert the candle into a holder—a menorah.

Nevertheless, Chazal tell us that mitzvos are to be performed in a beautiful manner, in the spirit of Zeh Keili ve-anveihu (”This is my G-d and I will glorify Him”) and this extends to the rabbinic mitzvah of Chanukah. It is therefore important to obtain a beautiful menorah, ideally made of metal.

A series of clear and practical rulings by Rabbi Yosef Braun, Marah D'Asra and member of the Beis Din of Crown Heights

Those who can afford it should obtain a menorah made of precious metal, such as silver, for the greater splendor of the mitzvah.

(Some extend this hiddur and do not use glass cups in their menorah so that the lights are contained within the silver vessel itself.)

One should only do this if they can afford it.

There’s no reason to extend yourself where this is difficult.

WHERE SHOULD I LIGHT MY MENORAH? wIt is the Chabad custom to position the menorah within the actual space of the doorway, alongside the width of its doorposts, and to place it on a somewhat lower object, such as a chair. If you wish, you can move the menorah out of the doorway after the 50 minutes (required according to Chabad custom) has passed.

WHEN IS THE BEST TIME TO LIGHT THE MENORAH ACCORDING TO MINHAG CHABAD? After shkiah ha’amitis, several minutes after sunset.

AT WHAT AGE SHOULD A BOY START LIGHTING WITH AN OIL MENORAH? There is no obligation to use olive oil. In some communities, even adults

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HALACHA wouldn’t use olive oil, due to expense, cleanliness etc. Many shuls do not use olive oil either.

Nonetheless, it is a mitzvah miin hamuvchar to do so — and this is the Chabad custom.

Whether a child should do so is a personal decision which depends on many factors including safety, maturity, etc.

AS A SINGLE GIRL LIVING ALONE IN MY APARTMENT ON CHANUKAH, SHOULD I LIGHT THE MENORAH FOR MYSELF? AM I STILL MECHUYAV TO SIT AND WAIT BY THE MENORAH AFTER I LIGHT? AND WHEN I GO HOME FOR SHABBOS, CAN I RELY ON MY FATHER'S LIGHTING? Women and girls are equally obligated in the mitzvah of lighting Chanukah candles.

The custom in the homes of the Chabad rebbeim is that women do not light their own menorahs, but fulfill their obligation through their father’s lighting.

A lady who is unmarried and living alone must kindle the flames personally. The Chabad custom is to sit by the menorah for ½ hour except for erev Shabbos.

(Obviously, safety measures should be taken every day regarding leaving the menorah unattended).

When she is at her father’s home, she can be yotzei with the lighting of her father. L’chatchilla,

one should be present at the time of the menorah lighting.

However, one may be yotzei even if not present.

SHOULD I RELIGHT MY MENORAH IF ANY OF THE FLAMES GO OUT? You should relight them without a Bracha if any of them go out before 50 minutes.

Chanukah wicks and oil may be thrown away in a respectful manner, e.g. by putting them in their own bag and putting that bag in the garbage.

However, one can destroy them in any other respectful manner.

Shabbos candles maybe disposed of directly into the garbage.

AM I ALLOWED TO MOVE CAN ONE PLAY DREIDEL THE MENORAH IF I ON SHABBOS USING THINK IT ISN’T SAFE? IF I BEANS? AM NOT ALLOWED, DO I There are three issues that HAVE TO RELIGHT IT IF I need to be addressed: STARTED MOVING IT AND THEN PLACE IT BACK IN Dreidel – The dreidel should not be played on Shabbos.

ITS ORIGINAL PLACE? If the menorah was moved to a different location in the same area, one is yotzei bi’dieved. Some permit it, even l’chatchilla. After 50 minutes, one may certainly move it.

One may move the menorah for safety issues. If possible, one should move it to a place that is not significantly far from its original place.

Initially, one should light the menorah in a way that it will not need to be moved later at all.

HOW SHOULD ONE DISPOSE OF THE MENORAH WICKS? AND HOW ABOUT SHABBOS CANDLES? One should make a fire and burn all the leftover oil and wicks used for the menorah.

(This does not include the oil that is still in the bottle.)

According to some authorities, a dreidel is possibly considered a keli shemelachto l’issur.

Muktza – raw inedible beans are considered to be muktza.

In order for something (that’s not a keli or food) to lose its status of muktza (and attain toras keli) it needs to either be designated forever or have something changed on it.

Playing with food – is allowed as long as the food does not get ruined.

These questions and answers were originally published on AskTheRav.com, a contemporary platform to get your halachic questions answered.

It is affiliated with the Beis Din of Crown Heights and with the Vaad Hakohol of Crown Heights. All answers are reviewed

by Rabbi Braun.

It is questionable whether

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V Z I T M

OUTREACH

Photo by Itzik Roytman

Bringing Mivtzoim Back

Sharing a Mitzvah has become easier than ever, and thanks to the new Mitzvah Society kits, Crown Heightsers are spreading light Shmuel Peles lives in Crown Heights with a family and a full-time job, but mivtzoim is a regular part of his life. ”You don’t have to move somewhere and open a Chabad House,” he comments. ”Every one of us is a Shliach because Hashem sent us where we are for a reason.”

Peles works in a computer software company in Manhattan with 6,000 other employees, and of course, many of them are Jews. At the office, he presents a weekly shiur—now virtually— and makes sure to mark every Jewish holiday, whether it’s a Menorah lighting on Chanukah, or a Megilah reading for Purim.

When asked why he puts so much effort into mivtzoim—as a busy father with a full-time job—

he says it’s not because it’s a personal hobby of his. ”It’s not just important to me; it’s who we are,” he says, emphasizing that mivtzoim is simply a part of his identity.

Chabad youngsters are well familiar with the question, ”Excuse me, are you Jewish?” They have asked it countless times. But what if mivtzoim wasn’t limited to street corners and strangers?

What if it was just as habitual to pass on a mitzvah to an old friend, co-worker, or even your dentist?

That’s what a group of shluchim was discussing at the International Kinus Hashluchim last year, a few months before the global outbreak of Covid-19. ”If we want to reach every single Jew, we need to think outside the box,” said Rabbi

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Z I T OM

By Chava Witkes

Moshe Kotlarsky, Vice Chairman of Merkos L’inyonei Chinuch. Or maybe ”inside the box.”

The Suite 302 branch of Merkos went on to launch the Mitzvah Society which produces easy-to-use, all-inclusive mivtzoim kits that allow anyone to become an ambassador, ready to inspire others at a moment’s notice. Since its launch, close to 20,000 kits have been given out, not by shluchim, but by their balabatim. And a growing number of Crown Heights residents are utilizing it as well.

Chana Feldman is a PA who’s been working in the labor and delivery unit at Mt. Sinai West for ten years now. She did not grow up on shlichus and does not consider herself a shlucha, but finds herself involved in mivtzoim on a regular basis.

When two residents on her floor were having trouble getting pregnant, she knew they needed to go to the mikvah. They both went, and one of them got pregnant soon afterward—but still one

resident struggled. She was checked by a fertility doctor who told her it was impossible to have children. ”Don’t worry,” Chana said. ”We can do other things. Do you have a mezuzah?” she asked.

With the help of Mitzvah Society’s Project Protect, Chana was able to replace the paper mezuzah on her co-worker's front door with a kosher one, as well as put up new mezuzahs on all the other doors in her home.

What Chana didn’t know at the time was that her co-worker was going for an IVF cycle that same week. Nine months after her new mezuzahs were put up, she gave birth to a healthy baby.

The hospital has many non-affiliated nurses and doctors, and in the last ten years, they’ve become a sort of community. Chana invites them over for Shabbos dinner on Friday night, they’ve done Chanukah parties and Purim parties. ”Before Pesach this year I gave matzah to over 20 people,” Chana says.

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OUTREACH Since the start of the pandemic, Chana had to pause the group’s monthly challah bake, and the limits on in-person gatherings were felt by everyone. Before Rosh Hashanah, she gave out the holiday kits from Mitzvah Society and ”they were a huge hit. People loved them.” A lot of her co-workers grew up in more traditional homes, and ”seeing the little honey jars brought back memories.” She got pictures from co-workers going to tashlich, using the instructions found in the kit.

Chana has a demanding full-time job along with a family. So what pushes her to constantly reach out? ”I’m a Lubavitcher,” she explains with a laugh. Does she need to say more? ”Everyone identifies us by how we look,” she says. ”They know we are frum Jews. And the fact that we can work in a professional setting while also having a whole other side of life with Yiddishkeit and family—that really inspires people.”

Whether you find yourself in an office building, hospital, or on the subway, Mitzvah Society makes spreading mitzvos easier with DIY kits that open up the conversation. Since many are still not leaving their houses and limiting social interaction, the kits allow for a DIY experience. Shabbos can be celebrated with a little blue box that provides full instructions—along with grape juice, challah, a treat for the kids, and a table discussion game. ”Anyone can do mivtzoim, and we are making it easier than ever,” says Mitzvah Society director Rabbi Mendy Ceitlin. ”Before Corona, we used to rely on the rabbi for the Shabbos atmosphere,” says David Gresen, from Commack, New York, who received his first Shabbat Experience box in January and has since given out close to a hundred boxes. ”Now with all of us staying at home, it’s up to us to create the Shabbat atmosphere ourselves.”

With Chanukah approaching, there’s no better time to join Mitzvah society. ”Everyone knows someone who could use a little more light in their lives,” says Rabbi Mendy Kotlarsky, director of Merkos 302. ”Whether it’s someone you just met, a distant relative, or an old family friend, there’s always a chance to spread it to others.”

Menorah kits for personal delivery are available at Tzach - Lubavitch Youth Organization.

To send a Menorah to anyone in the world, visit mitzvahsociety.org/light.

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The battle of the aclu against chabad that proved to be a bust

By Dovid Zaklikowski

In 1940, as the Chabad movement in America worked to rescue the Rebbe Rayatz from the inferno in Europe, the Connecticut courts were in the process of deciding a fundamental question about the practice of religion.

Despite the freedom of religion enshrined in the 1791 Bill of Rights, ”states remained free to engage in religious discrimination,” wrote historians Jonathan D. Sarna and David G. Dalin.

Cantwell v. Connecticut eventually made its way to the Supreme Court, who declared that freedom of religion is applicable at the state level. ”Under the constitutional guaranty, freedom of conscience and of religious belief is absolute; although freedom to act in the exercise of religion is subject to regulation for

the protection of society.

Such regulation, however, in attaining a permissible end, must not unduly infringe the protected freedom.”

The decision, hailed as a triumph by religious groups, opened a Pandora’s box of lawsuits, many of which were spearheaded by Jews.

Christian prayers and religious rights were banished from public schools, and Christian symbols were removed from public property. After these hard-fought victories, the liberal Jewish community was horrified when the Rebbe took his campaign for Jewish pride into the public arena.

public menor lighti Photos: Lubavitch Archives

The history of the

In 1964, the Rebbe strongly disagreed with Jewish activists who advocated for a nondenominational prayer to be said in public schools, asserting ”the vital need that the children

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The Menorah at the White House erected annually by American Friends of Lubavitch - Chabad

lic orah tings

CHANUKAH in the public schools should be allowed to begin their day … acknowledging the existence of a Creator and Master of the Universe and our dependence upon Him.” After the Supreme Court ruled that an official prayer in public schools was unconstitutional, the Rebbe began to advocate for a ”moment of silence,” which was implemented in many schools due to the advocacy of Chabad.

A decade later, however, when Chabad began to erect menorahs on public property, things began to heat up. In 1973, a few weeks before Chanukah, the Rebbe spoke about how a menorah brings light to the world, and asked his Chassidim ”to see that in every home there should be a menorah kindled, at least one for each home, and it would be a good idea that every child should light their own.”

Chabad activists approached Tibor Kuferstein, the owner of a Brooklyn military contract metal factory, and asked him to come up with a prototype menorah that would be light and easy to distribute. ”They told me they were going to give it out for free, and I thought this was a very good idea,” he told the New York Times. Tens of thousands of tin menorahs were made that year, and Chabad Hasidim took to the streets of New York to distribute them.

Rabbinical student Shmuel Lipsker joined his friends in giving out menorahs on the corner of Fifth Avenue and 74th Street in New York City.

Looking for a way to attract more attention, he came up with the idea of building a large menorah that could be affixed to the top of a car.

Rabbi Lipsker and two friends banged together a ninebranched candelabra out of two-by-fours, and some scraps from his father’s carpentry workshop. ”[We] took a cinder block, placed the menorah into the cinder block on top of a rented station wagon, and tied the sides of the menorah down with rope,” Rabbi Lipsker recalled. ”A few days into Chanukah, we thought of placing lights on the menorah.”

At five o’clock that night, as people left their offices for the day, the young activists took the menorah off of the car, placed it on the sidewalk, and lit the very first menorah on public property. A large crowd gathered to watch.

Rabbi Lipsker’s endeavor sparked an avalanche of public menorahs, with the first large public lighting taking place in California in 1975. ”We just wanted to reach as many Jews as possible, and never intended it to make history,” Rabbi Lipsker said.

By 1978, public menorah lightings had become a standard part of Chanukah celebrations in Chabad Houses across the country.

Reform Rabbi Joseph Glaser, executive vice president of the Central Conference of American Rabbis, wrote a cordial letter to the Rebbe stating that the issue had been brought to his attention as a potential violation of the separation of church and state: ”It weakens our hand when we protest the intrusion of Christian doctrine into the public life of American citizens, and thus, it is really not worth the value received.”

Glaser got a call from the Rebbe’s secretary, asking

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CHANUKAH we and our children need not be exposed to Christian observances which we find offensive.” A Jewish display would be just as bad as a Christian one, he concluded. ”Our request of you, then, is simply that in your role as leader of the Chabad Lubavitch movement, you direct a cessation of Hanukkiot lightings or other religious observances on public property.

The very first Public Menorah lighting on the streets of Manhattan, New York, 1973

”It was precisely through kindling the Chanukah Lamp in public places, during ‘ordinary’ weekdays, with dignity and pride, that it was brought home to them that true Judaism is practiced daily, and that no Jew should feel abashed about it.” that he write a letter detailing his objections to the public menorahs, which he did. He began by giving the Rebbe some historical background as to why Jews were opposed to the idea of menorahs on public property.

”Thus we and our children are not forced – as Jews in many nations are – to support Christianity through our taxes or to be exposed, and have our children exposed, to government-sanctioned proselytizing. The civil courts have repeatedly agreed that

In his response, the Rebbe took issue with Glaser’s constitutional argument, though he did not parse the details.

He simply stated his certainty that those who participated in, or witnessed public menorah lightings, did not feel that their loyalty to the Constitution had been weakened or compromised. Rather, ”many expressed surprise that this practice had not been inaugurated many years earlier, seeing that the U.S. Congress opens with a religious invocation by a representative of ‘one of the major religions’ in this country; and, surely, the U.S. Congress, comprising each and every State of the Union, is the place where the Constitution of the USA should be most rigidly upheld.”

To the Rebbe, it was clearcut: if the menorahs were permitted on public land, then their presence could not be a violation of the law. ”The fact is that there are numerous precedents over the years in various parts of the U.S.A.,” he wrote to the Jewish Community Council of Teaneck, New Jersey, in 1981. ”To mention a most conspicuous one, the public lighting of a Chanukah Menorah on public property in the nation’s capital. It was in 1979 that a huge Menorah was installed

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CHANUKAH in Lafayette Park, across the street from the White House, with President Carter personally participating in the ceremony.

Like all matters relating to the president of the United States, this event, too, received wide national coverage. Since then, the Menorah in Washington has become an annual event.”

The fight over the public menorah in Teaneck was long and bitter, with the Rebbe weighing in heavily, and expressing his opinion in detail.

In 1980, a large menorah had been erected in the garden of the courthouse in Hackensack, New Jersey. According to Chabad representative, Rabbi Yisroel Brod, it had attracted Jews, and heightened holiday awareness in the area.

The following year, Teaneck’s Jewish Community Council (TJCC) reached a unanimous decision, opposing the erection of a similar menorah outside the city hall, which Brod had proposed. They planned to raise the issue with the town council.

Most Christological symbols … have been removed from town property. What we are presently left with is a living evergreen decorated with lights; no Christian symbols.”

She explained that placing the menorah on public property ”may, at first, seem to be a positive act. The Jewish people of Teaneck would have a symbol of their holiday recognized by the township.” However, in the long run, it would counter their work in removing Christian symbols, and ”it would be ludicrous and ridiculous for the Jewish community to accept the presence of a Jewish religious

object on township property.”

As the Rebbe explained to both Glaser and Mr. Gissen, the pride that the menorahs brought to so many Jews motivated him to persevere in the fight for public menorahs, despite all of the pushback.

Why is it so important for Jews to have a Chanukah menorah displayed publicly? The answer is that the public display of Chanukah menorah during the eight days of Chanukah has been an inspiration to many Jews, and evoked in them a spirit of identity with their Jewish people, and the Jewish way of life. To many

One of the first Public Menorah Lightings in Philadelphia, 1974.

Rabbi Brod responded that he would proceed with the menorah nonetheless, as it was permitted by American law.

He continued to work on the project until the Rebbe told him to stop. He was instead told to direct his efforts toward lighting a menorah in the New Jersey capital, while at the same time corresponding with the TJCC about the issue.

In her letters to the Rebbe, Linda Gissen, president of the TJCC, argued that thanks to their efforts, Teaneck was almost free of overt religious symbols. ”All Christian observances are out of the public schools. ...

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CHANUKAH others, it has brought a sense of pride in their Yiddeshkeit, and the realization that there is no reason, really, in this free country, to hide one’s Jewishness, as if it were contrary or inimical to American life and culture.

On the contrary, it is fully in keeping with the American national slogan ”e pluribus unum” and the fact that American culture has been enriched by the thriving ethnic cultures which contribute to American life, both materially and spiritually.

Certainly, Jews are not into proselytizing--the Chanukah menorah is not intended to entice gentiles to convert to Judaism. But it can, and does, bring many Jews back to their Jewish roots. I personally know of scores of such Jewish returnees, and I have good reason to believe that in recent years, hundreds, even thousands, of Jews experienced a kindling of their inner Jewish spark by the public kindling of the Chanukah menorah in their particular city and in the nation’s capital, etc., as publicized by the media.

Jews, both individually and communally, should not create an impression of shame in their Jewishness, or that they wish to gain their neighbors’ respect by covering up their Jewishness.

Such an attitude does not ensure their entitled rights, including the privilege of publicly lighting a Chanukah menorah--a practice which has been sanctioned by precedent and custom.

At the heart of the argument was the Rebbe’s concern about assimilation, and his desire to reach out to secular Jews.

Public menorah lightings

Governor Christie Whitman at the Menorah lighting in Trenton, New Jersey.

President Jimmy Carter at the first Menorah lighting outside the White House. Rabbi Avraham Shemtov is at his side

reached ”Jews who could not otherwise have been reached,” the Rebbe wrote to Glaser.

This is ”either because some of them are unaffiliated with any synagogue, or, though loosely affiliated, always thought that religious practices belong within the confines of a synagogue and do not relate to the personal everyday life of the individual. It was precisely through kindling the Chanukah Lamp in public places, during

‘ordinary’ weekdays, with dignity and pride, that it was brought home to them that true Judaism is practiced daily, and that no Jew should feel abashed about it.”

Resistance continued to mount, however, with powerful groups, such as the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU), the Anti-Defamation League (ADL), the American Jewish Committee (AJC) and the American Jewish Congress (AJCongress) lining up

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against a small group of Chassidic rabbis and activists. Their fight over a public menorah outside of Pittsburgh made international headlines, and sparked a legal battle that eventually reached the Supreme Court. ”Never before had divisions within the Jewish community on the issue of religion and state been so publicly displayed.”

County of Allegheny v. American Civil Liberties Union came before the Supreme Court in 1989. ”There was a commitment in American Jewry writ large, based on the European experience, that a mixture of government and religion just never augured well for the Jews,” Marc Stern, who helped argue the case for the ACLU, later told the Atlantic. ”That mix was ideologically repugnant. As a tactic, it was thought that the best way to avoid Christian symbols – with all their power, because they’re the majority, they’re the norm, and because in many places we weren’t going to match them onefor-one – [was] if we simply gave up on government and did our own thing.”

Stern seemingly admitted that some who sided with the ACLU did so out of the opposite of pride. ”Jews who believed: Keep your head down. Don’t call attention to yourself. The menorah campaign was a challenge to that attitude.” A 6–3 majority of the court ruled that the menorah outside the courthouse in Allegheny County did not violate the Establishment Clause; as menorahs have a universal message of freedom that go beyond their religious message.

In an interview, Professor Sarna said that the menorah attained that universal significance, thanks to the Rebbe’s campaign. ”That’s

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a big change from when I was young,” he recalled, adding that Chanukah was once ”a private celebration in our homes” while Christians celebrated in the public sphere. ”That has changed in city after city, especially in metro communities where Jews live.”

As for those who argued that the menorah would undo years of work to separate church and state, the historian says, their fears turned out to be unfounded. ”This is not the kind of slippery slope that some thought it would be. If anything, I think for young Jews, the celebration of Hanukkah has meant that [they have] something to be proud of as well, instead of hiding under the covers, so to speak, when they see Christmas.

There is now a bigger sense that Jews have their own holiday, and indeed, it’s interesting that in recent years the president has staged a Chanukah party.”

One December, Dr. Michael Berenbaum, professor of Jewish Studies at the American Jewish University, and executive editor of the Encyclopedia Judaica, took his family to visit Washington, D.C. As they stood on the Washington Monument looking down at the lights of a decorated pine tree, one of the children excitedly pointed beyond it to the National Chanukah Menorah, erected by American Friends of Lubavitch (Chabad) in front of the White House. ”They were very proud to see the Jewish symbol,” Berenbaum said. ”It made them feel included, a feeling many Jews share.”

Dovid Zaklikowski is the author of more than twenty books, available at your local bookstore or HasidicArchives. com. He could be reached at DovidZak@Gmail.com.

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JEM / The Living Archive

Lighting the Menorah at 770 on the fifth night of Chanukah.

JEM / The Living Archive

The Rebbe gives coins to the chaperones to distribute to the children.

JEM / The Living Archive

The Rebbe attends a special Chanukah rally for the children of Tzivos Hashem. 28 Kislev, 5743 - 1982.

Chanukah With the Rebbe Photos of a children's rally at 770 Eastern Parkway on 28 Kislev 5743 (1982) Courtesy of JEM / The Living Archive

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JEM / The Living Archive

FLASHBACK

JEM / The Living Archive

JEM / The Living Archive

Chazan Moshe Teleshevsky leads the children in singing ”Sheyibaneh”

The Rebbe gives coins to the chaperones to distribute to the children.

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FLASHABACK

The Rebbe gives coins to the chaperones to distribute to the children.

JEM / The Living Archive

JEM / The Living Archive

JEM / The Living Archive

JEM / The Living Archive

The Rebbe Davens together with the children.

Proud soldiers of Tzivos Hashem.

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JEM / The Living Archive

JEM / The Living Archive

The Rebbe speaks to Yeshiva students at the conclusion of the rally.

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W E EKLY FEATURES

ON COLLIVE.COM

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HOME, ON THE JOB

by Danit Schusterman

In March 2020 (Adar 5780), millions of U.S. office workers hurriedly packed up their desks to set up shop and work from home, thinking that they would be back in the office within a few weeks. As weeks stretched into months of working from home, many businesses have left their brick-and-mortar office spaces and have their employees working from home for now, and some indefinitely.

Crown Heights residents Zaki Tamir, Gavin and Yocheved Fehler, Leah Cohen, and Meir Crayk no longer have the 20-60-minute commute to Manhattan, and now work from home. I spoke to them about the challenges, benefits, and overall experience of transitioning from a full workday in the city to their current workdays at home.

Yocheved Fehler: I’m a paralegal at a law firm. I definitely miss the routine of being in an office and having in-person communication. And the fact that my dining room table has become my office is not ideal, but it works.

Gavin Fehler (husband of

Yocheved): I work as a multimedia designer at an app and tech company. Our actual office has been closed down indefinitely so I now share an office space with my wife in our dining room.

Honestly, the only thing I miss about working in my office in the city are the free snacks and the fully stocked kitchen.

Leah Cohen: I miss the human

interaction. As a stenographic court reporter, reporting a deposition on Zoom just isn't the same as sitting at a conference table with the lawyers, the

witnesses and the clients. I miss the pleasantries, 'Good morning' and 'How are you?' On Zoom, it is all business.

Zaki Tamir: As a criminal defense

lawyer (I also do corporate litigation), I needed to rely heavily on my instincts when deciding to take on a client or not. It is important in my line of work to have in-person communication to be able to judge by the client's look and appearance how they would be received by the jury. Covid took this all away, and I thought that this would present a huge challenge for me. But in fact, my relationships with my clients actually became more meaningful.

Meir Crayk: For the past 16

years I have worked in Midtown Manhattan setting up IRS approved pension plans for

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WORK Meir: I used to be out of the

small businesses, such as doctors, lawyers, and real estate companies. And I couldn't be happier working from home.

Gavin: The freedom is what I

appreciate the most about working from home. I can take a break when I need to. I can run out to the store. I have a gym in my building that I only used to go to on weekends but now I go every morning before I start my workday. I never had breakfast before. I now have a real breakfast every morning.

It's really great.

Leah: I feel like my time is used a

lot more wisely now. There were times I’d travel 40 minutes to a deposition and if one person didn’t show up, the entire deposition was canceled. I’d then have to travel home and a good 3 hours of my day was gone, wasted. Now, I log on to Zoom, and if someone doesn't arrive, we just log off and schedule it for another day. No time lost.

Zaki: I used to wake up and put

on a suit and tie and head to work. Everyone on my team was there in the office, so anything that needed to get done or addressed would get taken care of. Now, because we are all remote, we absolutely have to have a 9:10 AM morning

meeting daily to make sure every person on the team is on the same page and knows what needs to get done. I really miss my corner office overlooking the Hudson River. Being in the office helped put me in the work frame of mind. When I was at work, I was 100% at work, and when I was home, I was 100% at home. I find that working at home, there is no end to the workday or week. I'm working hard trying to find the right balance.

Yocheved: On the one hand, I

love being home. I now have time to work out, and meet a friend or sister for lunch who lives in the neighborhood, which is something I've never been able to do work in the city. I have a lot more freedom to decide what to do with my personal time. But, on the other hand, being in the office, I had no choice but to only focus on what needed to get done in the office and the same at home. Now, I'll be in the middle of a work meeting and look up only to notice that my kitchen counter needs to be wiped down, and the next thing I know, I'm cleaning my entire kitchen. I'm really working on compartmentalizing and being more organized with my time.

house for 11 hours a day. I'd see my kids in the morning for a few minutes and come home to most of them already asleep.

The only time I had any meals with my family was on Shabbos, and maybe Sunday. I had no idea how much I was missing out on. I really, really enjoy being around my family and being on the scene now.

Leah: I enjoy being able to wear my slippers and not heels. I get to make fresh delicious lunches in my own clean kitchen and use my own restroom. These things really add to the quality of daily life!

Zaki: I’d spend 10 hours a day at

work. I actually had no idea just how cool my kids were. In the past, my relationship with my kids was based on time spent together on Shabbos or on family trips, so there were always logistics involved with this time spent with them. We always have big Shabbos meals with lots of guests in and out of the house. So either there were lots of other people around, like on Shabbos, or it was about making sure we got to our destination on any family outings. And once

Photo by Itzik Roytman

”THERE IS SOMETHING TO BE SAID ABOUT BEING IN THE WORK ENVIRONMENT AND AT THE SAME TIME, I GET SO MUCH MORE DONE WORKING FROM HOME.”

Zaki Tamir

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WORK

Gavin: It's interesting because in

our case, Yocheved and I now spend our entire day together which could be very challenging for a married couple. But we have learned to work together and give each other space. It

creative. Once in a while we order in from one of our favorite restaurants and have a little ‘inhouse’ date once all the kids are asleep. That’s always enjoyable.

Leah: In an ideal world, I'd

love the ‘new normal’ to be a combination of both worlds, where some days I go in and some days I get to stay home.

In my line of work, it is important to see the defendant’s/witness’s/ client’s body language when they speak. So, in-person meetings are very important.

But there are many situations

many personalities, I only realize now how it takes its toll on my productivity. Now, I automatically start my day with more energy and less stress. My wife and children really respect my space and know when they can or can't disturb me. I appreciate this very much. Working from home has been great and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Yocheved: I'd be happy with a

hybrid model. I'd like to go into the office twice a week and work from home the rest of the week. There is something to be

Photo by Itzik Roytman

”THE ONLY TIME I HAD ANY MEALS WITH MY FAMILY WAS ON SHABBOS, AND MAYBE SUNDAY. I HAD NO IDEA HOW MUCH I WAS MISSING OUT ON.” Meir Crayk

took a while but now we're in a good routine.

Yocheved: We definitely spend

that are perfectly fine to do over Zoom - in my slippers. In my own comfortable home.

a lot of time in each other's company but we don't really have quality time together. When we were both working outside the house, we made an effort to go out, just the two of us. Now that we are together all day, it's almost like we have to make double the effort to differentiate between quality versus quantity.

Zaki: My ideal goal is to

Gavin: With Covid and all the

the commute took its toll on me. Just being on the train with so many people, and so

restrictions, it's not easy to do that. But we have been

purchase my own office in downtown Brooklyn right next to the courthouse. I'd be close to work and I'd be close to home. Now that I've built up such a meaningful relationship with my kids, I can never, ever go back to how it was.

Meir: I never realized how much

said about being in the work environment and at the same time, I get so much more done working from home. So I'd be happy with doing both.

Gavin: As I said, the only thing

I miss is the free snacks. And maybe being around likeminded creative people. I appreciated that. But I'll never miss the squishy commute, the constant movement of the city.

I wouldn't mind my own home office--that would be great. But for now, I'm really happy with this setup.

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Photo by Meir Pliskin

we arrived, it was all about the ‘trip’ and not about them. It was never just ‘being’ together.

These past few months, I was able to just be with my kids, with no agenda or specific purpose. I am so thankful for this. I actually know my kids now and it's been really amazing.

Photo by Meir Pliskin

COVID LIFE

WEDDINGS IN A POSTPANDEMIC WORLD SIMCHAS BECAME SMALLER AND COZIER - AND MUSICIANS ARE LOVING IT EVEN AS THEIR INDUSTRY FACES A NEW REALITY

BY SARA TRAPPLER SPIELMAN It’s a breezy night in Miami, Florida, and the outdoor chuppah adorned with lights and flowers attracts a nice size crowd, many of whom will not attend the meal later, leaving with a packaged meal to take home instead. Dinner for family and close friends is served inside a large tent that has been transformed into a hall glowing with warm pink lights and candles all around, lively and joyful music filling the makeshift simcha hall.

The music has been transported from Crown Heights--Chony Milecki and his band flew in that morning to perform. Following the event, as the flowers from the chandelier-style ornament hanging from the ceiling in the middle of the room are taken down, Milecki sits down to reflect how weddings – and the scene for Jewish musicians - have changed since the pandemic. ”The bulk of Covid weddings were after Sivan, right after Shavuos,” Milecki says. ”It’s always the busiest time for musicians, it’s a bottleneck time because we can’t play during sefirah or summer, it’s always a very full time for us, so Covid decimated us in a certain way. None of us played as much as we would have. Usually, we got three calls a night for Sivan, now we had two or three a week.”

There was a silver lining, though, to this changing

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have to behave differently because of guests, so the simcha is felt much more.”

landscape in weddings, which was felt by many, especially musicians whose music sets the stage and excitement for weddings. ”There is something so special about the small intimate weddings where every single guest is so present,” says musician Fitche Benshimon. ”The simcha is palpable, and with these smaller crowds, the guests are very involved. Everyone feels that they are needed there, and they have to participate. These home weddings have been beautiful.

The music is great, food is excellent, and guests are happy to be there. ”I give the Chossanim and Kallahs a tremendous amount of respect for going along with these alternate plans when they probably had a very different vision in mind. But every single wedding that I have played at during Corona has been absolutely incredible. Logistics might be harder, but being flexible is key," Benshimon says.

Milecki expressed a similar sentiment. ”Playing in [Moshe] Rubashkin’s basement were some of the nicest atmospheres, the most feelings of brotherhood

and family that I’ve ever seen.

Even families who could afford it, and can do something massive, still had it there and they had a one-man band, even though they would've booked a ten-man band in Oholei Torah.”

In fact, Benshimon feels people should continue to make smaller simchas, pandemic or not. ”It’s less expensive and people enjoy it more that way, while everyone else can watch it online,” he said.

When he plays for weddings at smaller locations and in a home environment he finds that people are more present, whereas at larger events so many people attending are on their phones, and wandering outside. At weddings post-Covid, it’s just family there for the majority of the simcha and the hosts are not spending time with so many other guests. ”I get to know the family now during weddings,” Benshimon shared. ”The musician, photographer and caterer are the only ones not family, everyone else are direct family or cousins, so I see people behave as their family dynamics, the way they are with each other when no one else is there. There’s something amazing about that, they don’t

Benshimon admits it was appealing to have a lot of people share in their simchas in the past, but often the host is so busy he or she doesn’t have time to greet everyone. ”It’s very overwhelming for anyone, plus the smaller weddings were more affordable, people stayed from beginning to end. There was something very special about them.” When he sees families spending less on weddings he said that he’s ”happy to do his part” and offers discounts for those making smaller weddings.

One caveat is that event locations often change now, even on the wedding day. The dates and location changed three times for a wedding he recently did, so he’s prepared that it’s not set in stone, and everything might change.

Have weddings returned to normal? Milecki does not think so. ”Most weddings have a hundred to 150 people, it’s much smaller, but people are having a good time, they’re really participating, they’re bringing care, love and affection for the couple and family. People feel because it’s smaller they have a responsibility to be more mesameach the chosson and kallah. Weddings became conveyor belts, night after night you'd see the same band and the same room. I think that Covid brought the small town wedding to Crown Heights.”

Milecki has performed at weddings all over the US in recent months, including Kansas, Florida, California and even the Catskills in Upstate New York, with the main difference being

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COVID LIFE

"WE FEEL VERY FORTUNATE AS MUSICIANS THAT EVEN IN DARK TIMES, EVEN DURING THE PANDEMIC AND ILLNESS, PEOPLE STILL WANT TO CELEBRATE, PEOPLE STILL HAVE TO GET MARRIED, AND PEOPLE STILL WANT TO SMILE"

that people outside of the city have more outdoor options, such as tents.

Ultimately, Milecki believes weddings will return to 90 percent of what they once were, hopefully without losing the unique quality that they have attained. ”I hope people will make more intimate weddings and put more thought into this aspect when planning their event,” he said. ”To make it more personal and special for people who attend to think: What can I do to not just show up but to really make this day special for the chosson and kallah?”

While weddings were still going on, most other events were canceled over the last few months, Benshimon explains, leading to a surge in live-streamed events. ”Along with the Covid lockdowns, live events became the wave of the future, and the livestream industry has been booming,” he says. Drawing on his experience producing his popular online show ”Motzoei Shabbos Live Kumzitz,” Benshimon advised dozens of entertainers and musicians, who asked for help in producing live events. ”All of a sudden I was getting phone calls from musicians and singers all asking the same question, ’how do I go live?’” he says. ”It’s a complicated answer, and my best advice is to find a good streaming crew to do it for you and a studio that you can just walk into.” He cites Flowmotion Studios, led by Yankee Teitelbaum and Bracha Torenheim, that is credited with working on the Hatzalah-thon, Tenathon and the virtual International Kinus Hashluchim.

Concerts have also been transformed as of late.

Milecki and Benshimon were both involved in the mother of all concerts, the Hatzalah-thon fundraiser during Lag B’omer, which was likely the largest virtual concert. Milecki said concerts are still happening - just over zoom, including some other concerts he performed at for smaller events and schools.

Benshimon agreed that singers are for the most part not performing live, but doing more online concerts, yet he believes they will still return to seeing the fans they enjoy in person. ”Live concerts will be back, because people like to go out to concerts, and singers perform better in front of an audience,” he said. In addition, prices for producers are not cheaper when doing it online, and there’s a lot of work involved too.

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COVID LIFE At the wedding in Miami, the first set was similar to his previous ones, but the second set was brand new. ”They’re songs people have heard before, but the style in how they’re being done and the modernity of it, that’s all just from the last few months,” Milecki said. ”We feel very fortunate as musicians that even in dark times, even during the pandemic and illness, people still want to celebrate, people still have to get married, and people still want to smile,” Milecki said. ”That’s the business musicians are in, to make people smile and dance. We’re just happy as musicians to be able to do that.”

One memorable music experience for him happened on Chol Hamoed Pesach. ”A most incredible thing that I experienced was driving around in a music truck sponsored by United for Protection bringing music to thousands of children in the community, who were at home due to Covid lockdowns,” he says. ”I can’t even describe the feeling.

I’ve driven around in music trucks before, but this was an experience that was just incredible and I’m thankful to Hashem for having this joyful opportunity. Blocks and blocks filled with families, fathers, mothers, children, all standing in front of their houses and dancing, waving, smiling…”

He also believes that during this era of quarantine there’s too much music coming out too quickly. ”Good songs are not getting the attention they should be getting for long,” Benshimon said. ”Songs expire quickly; they’re in for a month and then out, because the next one is in. There are so many singers, but everyone

is making noise so it’s hard to get attention.”

Milecki has a recording studio, but lately he hasn’t been taking on clients to record, instead, he has been focusing on his own music. He spent a couple of years working on his album ”the Great Farby,” but during the last few months he completely revamped his own performance music. He’s using his studio time by plowing ahead with wedding sets, accomplishing in the last few months what would usually take at least a year.

He makes his own beats, and programs his own sounds and styles, creating a tool to work with at weddings, called loops.

The beats and rhythms are all at his fingertips, so even though he has tens of thousands of loops, he can customize one that sounds perfect for that song. ”I’m able to play around with them and have very quick access, they’re organized in a way that I can get to whatever I need in a split second.”

Singer Shuky Sadon, who has been a presence at hundreds of weddings in New York, Florida as well as France and Israel, shares the same triumph and positivity of being an entertainer today. ”Covid-19 has definitely been difficult for us singers,” he says. ”We’re used to singing for hundreds, if not thousands of people a week. Our usual routines took an unforeseeable turn.”

Yet, despite this, music prevailed. ”Last month, I released a song with a good friend and Israeli legend, Lior Narkis,” he says.”The song is called ’Baruch HaShem’ and it’s a strong message of gratitude to Hashem. It’s our duty to always seek out the positivity in every situation and remain thankful, especially when it’s difficult to do so. I’m sure, that soon with the help of G-d, Covid-19 will be long gone and we’ll soon start the wedding season in good health and happiness with Moshiach Tzidkenu.”

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COMMUNITY

anshei lubavitch If there is one buzzword for the Anshei Lubavitch-Geshem Center, it is ‘unparalleled success’.

They have been open for a little over a decade, but its list of accomplishments is astounding.

Here are a few: Shul members take a yearly trip to the Kevorim of the Rebbeim, host a weekly father-son Kollel, and house a community daycare. This is all in addition to daily davening and shiurim, community Yom Tov events, and an active Shul sisterhood.

The Shul began as a ‘class Shul’ in 2008. At the time, it was a small shtiebel of mostly single bochurim that were just looking for a shul. As members started marrying and the community grew, they needed to find a larger space. From there the Shul went on a journey, first moving to 397 Troy and then to 589 East New York Avenue. This second move was orchestrated by founder Yossi Levin and the Geshem Center, giving the Shul the name, ”Geshem Center.”

At this point, the Shul hired Rabbi Yossi Garelik and ”that is what made the Shul take off,” comments board member Zalman Friedman.

Rabbi Garelik began to urge his members to expand the Shul in all areas to address the needs of the growing community. At his behest, Anshei Lubavitch started the

daycare center.

The Shul sisterhood, run by heads Brochi Friedman and Rikkel Gopin under the leadership of Mrs. Chani Garelik, began at this time as well.

Rabbi Garelik also encouraged members to take on leadership roles, urging congregants to give the daily halacha shiur.

The Shul also proved unafraid to try new things, and has seen other Shuls adopt these ideas since.

The popular Sunday Kollels, now almost a Crown Heights institution, were started by Anshei Lubavitch.

Rabbi Meir New opened the Sunday Kollel, offering a hot breakfast and a children’s program that allows fathers to take their children to Shul and Kollel with them on Sunday mornings. Rabbi New also sponsored and built the Shul library in memory of his fatherin-law, Rabbi Binyomin Katz.

our

Anshei Lubavitch Shul is a Full Fledged Community

hul

With the immense growth of the shechuna, a new series ”Our Shuls” was launched on community news service COLlive.com featuring profiles of the local shuls, the driving forces behind them and the communities they created. Here are the most recent shuls featured.

After a few years, they moved to their current home at 578 Albany Avenue. They gutted the seedy and dilapidated bar that was there and turned it into a beautiful Shul and Simcha hall.

During the move, they decided that they needed to choose a name unique to their Shul. They chose Anshei Lubavitch because they were looking for a name that would set the intention of their Shul.

They are a community that ”looks after the physical well being, but

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more importantly the spiritual wellbeing, of the members and children.”

Their commitment to this ideal is evident in everything that the Shul has done since.

The Shul sisterhood plays a dynamic role in the Shul. Every year they arrange a Shabbaton for the mothers in the community to rest and rejuvenate. With the generous help of local vendors, the sisterhood arranges an annual auction and Melavah Malkah for the entire community. In addition, they also host programs for women every Yom Tov, and a monthly Rosh Chodesh event. Whenever a woman in the community has a child she receives a care package from the sisterhood, and meals delivered for the family for as long as she feels she needs.

The family-based community continues to be of paramount importance. On the encouragement of Rabbi Garelik, the community focuses their events on children and family programming.

The over one hundred families that call Anshei Lubavitch home know that they can rely on the

Shul to make children’s programming every Shabbos, as well as the Shul’s hugely successful daycare and summer camp.

With the pandemic forcing most people to make Yom Tov meals at home, the Shul distributed tens of thousands of dollars worth of food to community members this past Pesach, and again prior to Shavuos. They also delivered weekly care packages with herring and beer for Zoom farbrengens before Shabbos.

On the spiritual side, the Shul is in a constant state of growth. For the past two years, they have started a tradition of yearly trips to Nezhin, Kharhov, and Haditch. Community members and speakers deliver shiurim every morning and evening. In the next few months, Anshei Lubavitch hopes to break ground on a men’s mikvah to accommodate their rapidly growing community.

In its numerous activities and events, as well as in Rabbi Garelik’s dynamic and inspirational leadership, Anshei Lubavitch continues to set the gold standard for the success that a community can have in Crown Heights.

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Bais shmuel

Bais Shmuel – Trailblazing Young Shul of Crown Heights

Shuls typically impact the lives of a few, but only a few Shuls have changed the lives of the many. While it may not have a permanent physical location, Bais Shmuel Chabad has successfully touched the lives of many in Crown Heights and beyond.

The seeds of Bais Shmuel began in the years after Gimmel Tammuz when the young men of Crown Heights began to face a troubling question. In the past, every Shabbos afternoon would be spent at the Rebbe’s Farbrengen; What now?

Rabbi Moshe Pinson was running the children’s program of the Kinus Hashluchim and Kinus Hashluchos. He decided to make a Minyan to help the girls attending the Kinus hear Kriyas HaTorah. The first Shabbos he asked around to get help with a Minyan, and ended up hosting a Minyan for over 100 people.

Clearly, he thought, something was here. The Crown Heights community was searching for something.

He announced that he would be starting a Minyan in the Shluchim Office, where he worked at the time and whose building on Eastern Parkway was empty during renovations.

As a trial week, that first Shabbos was a struggle.

Pinson ended up waiting

COMMUNITY outside, trying to pull people in for a minyan. In a few short weeks, however, the crowd began to grow. Less than a month after opening, they moved into their first home at 824 Eastern Parkway. ”People did not have a personal Shul,” Pinson says.

At the time, there were only a handful of Shuls in Crown Heights, nearly all of which were decades old. The notion of starting a shul, and making programming for the Crown Heights community, was

and the other Yomim Tovim.

Their events and projects have been, and still are, dedicated to reaching everyone in Crown Heights.

The Bais Shmuel Purim Party, now held at Oholei Torah the night of Purim, has become a community institution. Their annual Menorah lighting, held at the Lefrak Skating Rink in Prospect Park, is attended by hundreds.

Shul members travel together for Gimmel Tammuz at the Ohel and for Chof Av to

The seeds of bais shmuel began in the years after gimmel tammuz when the young men of crown heights faced a troubling question. unheard of.

That first year they made a Purim party, and the Crown Heights community’s reaction was mixed. ”Nobody did things like that then; we were the Chabad house for Crown Heights,” he says.

After that initial event, Bais Shmuel continued to grow, with 125 families as members and a Youth Minyan which attracts over 200 kids each week and includes incentives and trips.

They soon began to expand their influence to help the Crown Heights community.

They organized a ”Chanukah on Ice” event. They began a free loan society, followed by Maos Chitim funds for Pesach

Kazakhstan to mark the yartzeit of Harav Levi Yitzchok Schneerson, the Rebbe’s father. For 16 years, until his passing this year, the Rebbe’s Mazkir Rabbi Leibel Groner led the Shul’s annual Simchas Torah Farbrengen. A recent initiative established in memory of the bochur Shmuel Karnowsky OBM encourages boys and girls to recite Tehillim on Shabbos Mevorchim.

The influence of Bais Shmuel is not limited to their programming.

Not a Shabbos goes by without young men, heading out on Shlichus, collecting pledges for contributions to their Chabad centers. If there is an event of any kind in

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direction led the Shul to unprecedented growth. When Rabbi Jacobson moved to Monsey in 2015, Rabbi Levi Garelik took the position and continues to guide the community until this day.

The Shul is led by a group of dedicated board members, Yitzy Kamman, Zalman Stock, Zalman Skoblo and Shaya Rochester with the help of Gabbai Mendy Smetana and assistants Yossi Schapiro, Binyomin Dubroff and Shimmy Shafran.

Many of the members of the community have become well-known for their boundless chessed and their contributions to the Jewish community.

One former member, entrepreneur and inspirational speaker Dudi Farkash, now the founder of Chabad of Forshay in Monsey, NY, acted as Gabbai for years and helped develop the community from the very beginning.

Crown Heights, from the Kinus and Gimmel Tammuz programming to Friendship Circle and the Chidon, the organizers reach out to members of Bais Shmuel.

The philanthropy the community is perhaps proudest of, though, is Mikvah Mei Chaya Mushka.

Pinson saw that the community had expanded to the point that a new Mikvah was needed, so Bais Shmuel gathered together to make it happen. Members of the Shul were heavily involved in purchasing the building, constructing the beautiful, state-of-the-art Mikvah, and maintaining the Mikvah by fundraising to balance the deficit.

The Mikvah, known as one the most beautiful in the world, is enjoyed by community members and toured by hundreds from around the world every year who learn about the beauty of the Mitzvah.

Among the secrets of the Shul’s success is, of course, the people involved. In their early days, the Shul hired Rabbi YY Jacobson as their Rabbi. Rabbi Jacobson’s inimitable poise and intelligence drew a large crowd to hear him speak and his

As the first ”young shul” in the neighborhood, Bais Shmuel started a revolution. Nearly 80 new shuls in Crown Heights, as well as an estimated 100 shuls around the world, are modeled after them. ”Bais Shmuel was the trailblazer,” said a founder of another successful Shul in Crown Heights. ”They made it possible for us.”

Until today, Pinson gets many calls from young people looking to start Shuls. He sits with them, guiding them through the process of making their own community within Crown Heights. ”Our vision was to build a Chabad House,” he says.

Interestingly, while members of the shul have assisted in building and sustaining many institutions, and are known for their activism, they have not secured for themselves a permanent location for their shul.

Pinson, the shul’s founder and president, says he has plans for that. ”We are looking forward to one day building a grand, permanent shul, along with affordable rental housing for young families in the community,” he says.

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Hechal baal shem tov

‘Hechal Baal Shem Tov’ Shul is For and Run by Special People

Tables are spread out six feet apart, and the congregation is socially distanced. A few faces are covered in masks. The room is spacious, clean and airy; yet the atmosphere is welcoming and warm. A lone voice calls out words of tefillah to the tune of a Miami Boys Choir song. Moments later, a few voices join for a lively Mordechai ben David melody. Voices drift in and out and then someone belts out a few lines of Avraham Fried’s Udevorov Chaim Vkayomim. Everyone joins in.

This shul is not your run of the mill shul. It is Hechal Baal Shem Tov, and the congregants are boys and young men with special needs. Today, the chazzan is Boruch Shneur, a thirteen-year-old who has Down Syndrome. He fixes his hat and sings the words of shabbos shmoneh esrei from his siddur.

Rabbi Berel Majeski, the rabbi of the shul, stands nearby. ”Ready to roll?” he calls out. At his cue, the congregants

”I love this shul because it feels like family” look into their siddurim, and begin davening mussaf.

The Friendship Circle minyan began in September 2012. ”Originally, we gathered for Chanukah parties and Purim parties,” recalls Majeski, who took the reins of Friendship Circle of Crown Heights with his wife, Chanie in 2012. But the Majeskis knew that the boys needed a deeper sense of community. A shul, they realized, would bring the boys together and give them that feeling of belonging. ”A few years ago, we made a minyan for the Friendship

Circle boys at Mendy’s Deli on Simchas Torah. We had hakafos in the lobby of the Jewish Children’ Museum.”

Boruch Shneur’s mother, Libby, was at the very first hakafos catered directly to the boys of Friendship Circle. ”It was pure sincerity,” she recalls. ”My husband and I just looked at each other and we both felt like the Baal Shem Tov was there dancing with these holy children.

There was a certain holiness that you can’t find in another shul.”

Libby and her husband were so touched by the beauty of this minyan, that they decided to dedicate a Sefer Torah. With a Sefer Torah, the Majeskis were now able to form minyanim on their own.

After that Tishrei, Friendship Circle minyanim began gathering once a month. Eventually, they began making minyanim bi-monthly, until finally, the boys were gathering for minyanim on a weekly basis. ”Now,” says Majeski, ”we have a minyan every Shabbos, Rosh Hashana, Yom Kippur, and Succos.” In fact, today, the shul has two Sefer Torahs of its own, one of which was donated by the Chaimson family, in honor of their son’s bar mitzvah.

Majeski fondly recalls the first Yom Kippur minyan, which took place in a private house. ”It was shacharis and mussaf,” he says. ”There were fifteen boys and young adults. The kids were totally into it. They sang all the parts of davening and opened the aron. In a regular shul they would be sitting in the back. They wouldn’t feel comfortable singing on the top of their lungs.”

Hechal Baal Shem Tov is more than just a shul. It is a place for Friendship Circle boys and girls to celebrate milestones. They have hosted a number of bar mitzvahs, sheva brochos, and other simchas for their members.

R’ Chaim Goldman is one of the regulars. ”They recognize anybody and allow anybody to have an aliyah, and sing any song,” says his mother Tzirel Goldman. ”Last shabbos, Chaim had an aliyah for his birthday. This is the shul that will give him an aliyah. The boys have ownership of this minyan.”

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In fact, everyone in the shul has a job. Yossi calls out the page numbers, Leibel serves the cholent, and Dovid Gad clears the table after the kiddush. ”We have our own chazzan and gabbai,” says Majeski. ”The shul is their baby. The older boys see that everyone has their class shul. This is their place. At the kiddush, everyone shares with each other. A dvar Torah, a shout out, or something that happened that week.”

At every age, boys with special needs know that they are completely accepted and appreciated at this minyan. ”Boruch Shneur feels like a million dollars when he goes to the shul,” says Libby. ”Not only is he included in the minyan, but he even gets hagbah. When he got hagbah for the first time, I could see his face light up. I could imagine them all smiling down in shamayim when he held the Torah.”

In between aliyahs, Majeski asks the minyan questions about the Parsha. After each aliyah, everyone has a chance to answer. ”No cheating!” Someone calls out.

The group feels completely comfortable in this space. If they get an answer wrong, it’s ok. Everyone is accepting of the person beside him.

For the boys, Hechal Baal Shem Tov is home. Shmuly, who lives at the local HASC residence during the week, goes home to Philadelphia every few weeks. Recently, Shmuly explained to his parents that he could no longer go home for Shabbos, as that would mean missing his beloved Hechal Baal Shem Tov minyan.

It’s not just the boys who love the minyan. Majeski and his ten-year-old son, Mendel, love the minyan just as much as the boys. ”I do a lot of administrative work during the week,” Majeski says, ”but the part of the week I look forward to most is Shabbos with my boys.

Short of davening with the Rebbe in 770, there’s no

place in the world that has this direct connection with Hashem. There’s no hindrance. It’s going direct.”

(Majeski noted that the shul isn’t actively looking for more members outside the special needs community).

The boys look forward to shabbos all week long. It is the high point of their week. They all show up on time, no matter what the weather is like. ”They look forward to minyan more than most people I know,” Majeski says.

After Shachris is over, I ask a few of the boys what they love most about Hechal Baal Shem Tov. ”The free food!” One boy jokes. The others laugh.

Boruch Shneur points to Berel Majeski. ”I love him,” he says. The boys nod in agreement. ”I love this shul because it feels like family,” says a man of around thirty-years-old. ”I like this shul because I can concentrate and say the words right,” says a fifteen-year-old boy.

The feeling of warmth for each other and love for Hashem is palpable at Hechal Baal Shem Tov. ”There are pure neshamos davening in this shul,” says Mrs. Goldman. ”This is a very holy place.”

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Ohel Nosson

A Sense of Ownership Created and Fuels Ohel Nosson Shul

Finding a child saying Tehillim on Shabbos Mevorchim is always an impressive sight. 100 children participating in Shabbos Mevorchim Tehillim while quarantined in their homes during the darkest months of the Covid-19 pandemic sounds like the stuff of miracles.

For the members of Ohel Nosson Shul, however, this is just par for the course.

Everything done at this shul evinces a strong sense of personal direction. In the beginning, this manifested itself in setting up a small minyan in a classroom on Eastern Parkway. Today, it is a value that is evident in everything this incredible community does.

Ohel Nosson began with a group of

class. They were tied together by being in similar stages of life, but more importantly, they shared one significant character trait.

They were self-starters; the type of people that did not sit back and let life happen to them.

In 2008, they were a group of 20 or so, and together they mapped out all of the things that were needed to make a Shul run; a Sefer Torah, a Ba’al Koreh, the logistics of the Shul, the Kiddush. One by one, each of them volunteered

”We were a group of people trying to find ourselves and to be supportive of each other” bochurim that found themselves gathering in 770 each Shabbos after the main minyan finished. After weeks of spending this time together, the idea of starting their own Shul began to blossom. ”We realized that we were in charge of our own Jewish destiny,” gabbai Avi Webb shares. ”So we said we might as well make it official.”

The group was not necessarily from the same

for one or more of the responsibilities.

Among their early supporters was R’ Mordechai Nagel, whose sponsorship included two Sifrei Torah, and the naming of the Shul in loving memory of his father, R’ Nosson Nagel OBM. They quickly outgrew the Eastern Parkway location and started searching for a bigger space. In early 2010, less than two years after

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”In a big haystack you can get lost,” founder and board member Yoni Raskin says. ”We were a group of people trying to find ourselves and to be supportive of each other.” Now, he says, people from all walks of life can find themselves in the Shul. ”There are many tables in the Shul, and every one of them is a safe haven. There were 12 Shevatim in the desert but they were all family. We are all one family.”

The sense of ownership exists in every person in the Shul, from the adults to the children. Instead of a speech between Shachris and Musaf, the community enjoys ‘Five Minutes of Fire’. Each week, a community member shares an idea that he finds personally meaningful and relevant.

During the week, as well, the community Shiurim are delivered in large part by community members.

opening, they took the leap in signing a lease at the newly opened Crown Condos. ”This was a bold move for the size we were,” Webb reflects, ”we were still young, most not married. But we knew that we wanted a space for the future.”

This philosophy proved prescient, as Ohel Nosson now offers a home to about 100 members on an average Shabbos and a Yom Tov crowd of about 200. People are drawn to the Shul, largely based on the sense of freedom to take ownership of their Yiddishkeit. ”Crown Heights is a good town,” Webb says, ”but there can be a lot of disparity and isolation here. What you want to have – whether a shul or inspiration of any kind – you have to build it yourself. We are welcoming to anyone that wants to be part of that.”

As the Shul grows they find that people of all types heed that call.

The core values of the Shul were brought to the fore with the onset of the Covid-19 pandemic. The community stepped into high gear, delivering care packages to families. The ‘Five Minutes of Fire’, formerly reserved for Shabbos, was delivered daily over Whatsapp by more than 40 individual members, providing much-needed inspiration to the community at large.

The children’s Tehillim were of particular note.

The Shul hosts a monthly Shabbos Mevorchim program, during which 60 to 80 children recite Tehillim while enjoying snacks and earning tickets for a raffle. With the Shul shutdown, the monthly snacks were delivered to each home, along with iced coffee, mashke, and herring for adults to Farbreng. The children rose to the challenge, taking part in reciting Tehillim at home during those difficult months.

With its reopening, Ohel Nosson is bringing back all of their Shiurim and Shabbos davening.

In everything they do, the remarkable congregation of Ohel Nosson continues to blaze a path forward with their fearless drive towards growth.

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FIRST PERSON

Kindness to a Fault

In a new biography, the legendary R' Zalman Deitsch's life story is brought to life, here we present an excerpt detailing that even in the face of challenge, he continued to think of others.

By Dovid Zaklikowski

T

he first decade of the twenty-first century was a dreadful time for the American textile industry. An agreement to end quotas on Chinese imports to the United States flooded the market with cheaper Chinese textiles. The effect on American manufacturers was devastating, ”Free of Quota, China Textiles Flood the U.S.” reported The New York Times on March 10, 2005. ”In the first month . . . imports to the United States from China jumped about 75 per-cent.”

The crisis reached Deitsch Textiles.

However, the Deitschs had another calamity on their hands: Yosef Deitsch had been diagnosed with a terrible illness. His health had deteriorated to the point that he could not come to the office.

He had dedicated most of his profits to charity. ”When the Rebbe sent me into the business world,” he used to say, ”I understood that my mission in life was to support the institutions and the activities of the Rebbe.”

”If I came back early in the night, I slept on the mattress given to me. If I came a little late, someone was sleeping on my mattress, and I slept on a different mattress or on the floor.”

Faced with the unraveling of their business and an ill brother, Zalman encountered a new financial concern: How would he fulfill his charitable obligations? It had been decades since the Rebbe had advised him to take over the family business, a directive he had obeyed despite having set his sights on being a shliach.

From the beginning, he brought a large check to the Rebbe’s office each month, a significant portion of the company’s profits. As the profits increased, so did the contributions. If he did not have the funds available to make the monthly commitment, he would borrow the money.

The Deitsch siblings and siblings-in-law followed his example and supported many causes, including Tzivos Hashem, Kollel Tiferes Z’keinim Levi Yitzchok, Machon Alte in Tzfas, Lubavitcher Yeshivah Academy in Spring-field, Oholei Torah, and Tzeirei Agudas Chabad in Israel. They also contributed toward the extension of the Rebbe’s library, the Heichel Menachem Library in Borough Park, and the building of the ”1414” Lubavitch Yeshivah

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FIRST PERSON

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Hosting guests in the Sukkah

G-d and religion. ”He was very warm, very engaging; [he was] intellectually open to discussion of how we saw our religious beliefs and [our] ability to handle the problems we saw in the world, work, and children,” Mr. Campbell said. ”Our business was secondary to our friendship.”

Mr. Campbell knew that charitable causes were very important to his friend—Zalman had convinced him to donate toward several of them.

He successfully arranged a loan; the terms, however, were extremely unfavorable to the businessman. The bank wanted, as collateral, not just the building Zalman had offered, but also the rest of his real estate holdings. They also wanted him to submit a solid plan for rebuilding his business to its previous healthy status. Zalman prepared one, which included investing more in real estate, and the bank gave him the loan.

Receives lekach from Rebbe

dormitory.

At Zalman’s home, when collectors knocked on his door, he always invited them in and inquired about their well-being. His children said that when they saw their father sitting at the table with someone, they could not tell the difference between an old friend and someone who had just come to the door for a donation.

In 2005, however, Zalman was faced with a dilemma. Certain that his tzedakah was a conduit for blessings, it never occurred to him to cut back.

He turned to real estate attorney Donald Campbell of Bayonne, New Jersey. Mr. Campbell, or Don, as he liked to be called, had been his lawyer for several large building acquisitions in New Jersey, and the two had become dear friends. The lawyer said they shared a passion for

He immediately began to distribute tzedakah in the merit of Yosef’s recovery. This time, he decided, he would donate only to organizations that had no family connection. That meant that his fatherin-law’s yeshiva, his children’s Chabad Houses, and any other family member who had an institution would not receive a contribution from these funds. ”There is going to be no personal interest in this tzedakah,” he said to his family.

The major benefactors were Crown Heights institutions: The Jewish Children’s Museum, Mivtza Mezuzah, and Hachnosas Orchim (the organization that hosts the guests in Crown Heights for the month of Tishrei), and in Israel, Tzach, the Lubavitch Youth Organization, which heads Chabad’s activities in the country.

Open Door Policy Zalman and Cyrel Deitsch both came from open, welcoming homes and continued their parents’ legacies on an even grander scale. Guests sometimes stayed for weeks at a time and were given to understand that they were welcome to return. Zalman did his best to make people feel comfortable by inquiring about their families and extended families until he found someone he knew.

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One person described how he arrived in Crown Heights for the month of Tishrei 5752 (1991) with no place to stay. ”I decided to take the taxi straight to the Deitsch home,” he said. ”When I arrived, I half asked, half-informed them that I was there for Tishrei. With no questions, Mrs. Deitsch told me where to place my suitcase and a room where I could find a mattress.”

The person said he was not the only one who ”landed” that week at the Deitschs with no prior notice. ”If I came back early in the night, I slept on the mattress given to me. If I came a little late, someone was sleeping on my mattress, and I slept on a different mattress or on the floor.”

say a dvar Torah, or begin a nigun. Many of these guests became like family. Cyrel kept in touch with them and invited them to family simches for years afterward.

Each year, thousands of guests would arrive in Crown Heights to celebrate the Tishrei yomim tovim with the Rebbe. It was a huge logistical and financial undertaking to feed them and organize shiurim for all of them. The late Rabbi Moshe Yeruslavsky, who headed Chadrei Torah Ohr in Eretz Yisroel, took on the responsibility, and Zalman, who had a unique appreciation for the mitzvah of hachnosas orchim, was an important supporter of Rab-bi Yeruslavsky’s work.

The Deitschs’ Tishrei There were people hachnosas orchim sleeping in every corner reached a peak during of the house, he said.

Sukkos. Since they The couple never lived next to Kingston required anything of Avenue, they built a their guests or asked large sukkah and affixed when they would leave, a sign welcoming but supplied them with anyone in to have a whatever they needed. drink and something ”There was only one to eat. Every night of thing that we all knew, the holiday there was not that it was requested a farbrengen in the directly,” the person sukkah. said. ”When Zalman Down the street from would come home and Says a bracha under his nephew's chupah them was an apartment he would enter the building where only a library, it was our time to few Jewish families lived.

The building managers give him his peace and quiet so he should be able were unaccommodating and for many years to learn.” did not permit the building of a sukkah on their While Cyrel encouraged her children to bring outproperty. These families were always welcomed by of-town guests to their Shabbos meals, Zalman the Deitschs to use their sukkah, and often simply too looked for people in shul who might not have joined the family for their meals. a place to eat. Others, knowing that the Deitsch During one meal on Sukkos, Zalman went into home was always open, made their way there on the house to bring more food. When he returned Shabbos without an invitation. Everyone around and sat down, one of the guests approached him, the table was invited to introduce themselves,

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FIRST PERSON

”He was my best friend. He knew my talents and my weaknesses.

He always respected me and never disparaged my abilities.”

saying, ”Excuse me, but you are sitting in my place.”

On another occasion, while Zalman was making sure that everyone had enough food, someone asked him, ”Tell me, until when do you think I could remain here?” not realizing that he was the owner of the sukkah.

Zalman told him not to worry. ”I have been staying here for a long time already, and no one ever asked me to leave.”

Loan Savior Crestfallen, a local Crown Heights resident was walking home from the bank after being told that his home was about to be foreclosed. He was out of work, and it had been a few months since he had made his last mortgage payment. The bank refused to wait any longer.

Zalman spotted the man as he stood waiting for a light to change. ”I knew who he was,” the man recalled. ”But I had never met him, and I doubt he knew who I was.”

Zalman asked him what was bothering him.

Unable to restrain himself, the man spilled out his heart. Upon hearing what was going to happen to the family’s home, Zalman immediately made arrangements to extend him a loan. ”The walls of our home, I owe to Zalman Deitsch,” the man said.

What the man did not know, said family members, is that in order to give him that loan, Zalman had to take out a loan himself.

Learning in his study

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FIRST PERSON

The Gemach Avrohom Moshe recalled how Zalman decided to open a gemach, a free loan fund, dedicated to the memory of their father, Sholom. ”He would receive many requests for loans,” Avrohom Moshe said. ”And he decided that it needed to be taken to the next level. That was how he established the Keren Sholom fund.”

A board was formed, with Avrohom Moshe running the day-to-day operations. The process of granting loans would be transparent, with guarantors and payment plans.

In support of this new gemach, the Rebbe sent twenty dollars toward the fund, and they began to give out interest-free loans. ”But Zalman, with his soft heart, would from time to time instruct me to give loans without a guarantor to certain individuals,” Avrohom Moshe said. ”Soon, the Sholom Fund turned from a free loan society into a charity organization. Within a short while, there was nothing left in the fund.”

Zalman himself was a guarantor for many loans from other funds. For example, the free loan fund run by the esteemed Chassid Rabbi Zalman Gurary was known to follow strict rules and only accept certain guarantors. Zalman was always accepted, however. In certain cases, when he knew that the person would not be able to pay back the loan, he would pay it back on his own even before the fund tried to collect the debt.

Competitor in the Family After Yossel Mochkin married Cyrel’s sister Zlati, he decided to go into business—textiles. ”It was the same business as Zalman’s,” he said, ”but on a much smaller scale.” Yet Zalman never saw his brother-in-law as a competitor and helped him in any way he could. ”Zalman was an experienced businessman, and I was a beginner,” Yossel explained. ”He guided me through my blunders, taught me the basics of the business and how to purchase good quality fabrics at a good price.”

In the beginning, Yossel was a young, ”wild businessman.” Zalman gently, but firmly, guided him on the correct path so that he would be able to support his family. When he struggled financially, Zalman would bail him out and signed as his guarantor on several loans.

Yossel recalled how he used to do mivtzoim in the middle of a workday and learn his daily shiurim. Seeing that his brother-in-law was easily distracted, Zalman told him not to mix his spiritual endeavors with his business.

During your free time do mivtzoim and learn, he told him. ”He understood the greatest tzedakah I could do was to bring a check home to support my family,” Yossel said.

With Zalman, Yossel knew he could be himself. ”He was my best friend,” he said. ”He knew my talents and my weaknesses. He always respected me and never disparaged my abilities.”

His Needs Zalman’s consideration for others was legendary. Attending to his own needs, however, was a different story. He didn’t enjoy shopping for himself, and on the few occasions when his wife was able to bring him to the store, he would tell her to buy several of everything that fit him so that he would not have to shop again for a long time. Once, when his shoes wore out, he gave one of them to his children and asked them to bring it to the store and buy another of the same brand while he sat and learned at home.

When it came to the needs of others, however, he was thoughtful in the extreme. One daughter recalled how, when she was moving on shlichus, as the movers were putting the last things on the truck, her father disappeared and returned a few minutes later with coffee and fresh donuts for the movers.

An excerpt from the new biography ”A Chassid, A Businessman: The Story of Zalman Deitsch,” available at Jewish book stores or HasidicArchives.com (use promo code COLlive for free shipping).

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Tzfasman Jewelers | 718.774.2770 | 551 Crown St, Brooklyn, NY 11213 COLlive Magazine - Kislev 2020___Yossi --- Monday.indd 48

@tzfasmanjewelers Tishrei Edition

1

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CHINUCH

Every classroom has students who are highly creative thinkers. We ought to recognize, appreciate and work with them to help them flourish

T

by Danit Schusterman

he name Chanukah comes from the word chinuch, which means education. The Rebbe often stressed the unique connection between Chanukah and education. In my twenty years of being an educator, I can see how far we have come in providing the necessary services for all the different types of learners. There are services for kriya, reading, writing, math, reading comprehension, behavioral issues,

emotional issues and so much more. It has been so wonderful to see how children who were struggling before now have the support and understanding that they need to be able to thrive in the classroom and in the world.

There is, however, a demographic of children at school who are being overlooked. These children do not struggle academically. In fact, many of them can excel in their academics if they really

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CHINUCH wanted to. These kids are the daydreamers, the highly creative thinkers.

Highly creative thinkers have the ability to make unusual associations or connections between seemingly unrelated or remote ideas. These kids have a large number of ideas or solutions to problems. They display intellectual playfulness, fantasize, imagine, and daydream. They have a keen or unusual sense of humor and see humor others do not see. These kids ask many questions, and frequently challenge teachers, and can come up with unexpected, futuristic, bizarre, even ”silly” answers or solutions.

People are inherently creative.

We create our own lives using this creativity. We are all born with immense and natural talents, but by the time we have been through the education system, far too many of us have lost touch with them.

Many highly talented, brilliant people, think they are not, because the thing they were good at wasn’t valued, or was actually stigmatized in their youth. ”My fondest memories of school are getting my new school supplies at the beginning of each year,” says Dina Kay, owner and

co-founder of the popular children’s clothing store, The Kids Shoppe in Crown Heights. ”I’d line everything up and decorate my desk. I’d have all the cool markers, fancy crayons and pretty notebooks.

I’d create color-coded seating charts during class and daydream about opening up

school and I had a great time with my friends. But none of this stopped me from pursuing my goals. Your marks in school do not define you. We can’t let our past experiences get in the way of achieving our goals and dreams in life.”

Chaya Cohen Tamir says she was a good visual learner. ”I was easily distracted but easily self-corrected and got back on track,” she says. ”I wasn’t detail-oriented, and wasn’t strong with note-taking. I was good at dialogue and classroom discussions, and great at tests, but more because I was a creative thinker than because of my study skills.”

Original thinkers see possibilities where others don’t, and have the courage to share their visions with the world.

my own store one day and all the pretty things I’d sell and how I’d decorate the store.”

All this activity came at the expense of academics. ”I wasn’t interested in what we were learning,” she says. ”I sat at my desk and made projects.

I loved the social aspect of

Chani Greenbaum recalls herself liking to have fun at school and pushing the limits. ”Organized curriculum just wasn’t my thing,” she admits. ”I wasn’t the student who won awards in school. I remember my principal telling me that I probably wouldn’t graduate, that I wasn’t smart.

But that’s the beauty of having a creative mind. I figured it out.

My friends still can’t believe what I’ve achieved as a floral designer and event planner, running a full production service.” Today, Chani runs the renowned Greenbaum Events and CG Blooms Flower

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Boutique in New York.

These individuals reflect the reality for so many who endure school - not enjoy it. But we must remember, human communities depend upon a diversity of talents, not a singular conception of ability.

We need to be able to look at the value of each individual and realize that creativity is as important as literacy.

So what is the solution for these kids?

Beneath the surface of every child are seeds of possibility just waiting for the right conditions to grow. Human flourishing is not a mechanical process.

It is an organic process. You cannot predict the outcome of human development but you can create conditions under which they can flourish, both as parents and teachers. We need to personalize education to the children we are teaching.

The role of leadership in a classroom is not about control between teacher and student. It’s about control of the environment. Creating an environment of possibility in the classroom, and at home, these children will rise to the occasion and achieve things that none of us could have anticipated or expected. ”I had a teacher who loved my creative writing,” says Brachie Friedman, a real estate investor. ”She knew I had a hard time sitting at a desk for too long so she’d let me sit on the floor.

She’d let us eat and drink and the class environment was

so relaxing that the creativity would just flow. She let us be and we were able to shine.

She always complimented me, either on my handwriting or the content of my writing.”

So how do we create this environment to help these creative minds flourish?

Recognize the individuality of the child and help them shine.

Engage in their ideas. Listen to their dreams. Read their stories. Watch their plays and their skits. If something is not working, change the situation to make it work. Focus on their strengths and spotlight them as often as you can. Laugh at their corny jokes. Write them down and tell them to make a joke book. Listen to their impressions, compliment the pencil holder that they made out of lego.

I have had many highly creative students in my career and there is always (I repeat, always) a way to meet them halfway and help them shine while having them learn the necessary curriculum.

People are good at the things that they care about and are passionate about. When you are doing something that you enjoy, time takes on a course of its own. When you are doing something you love, an hour can feel like 5 minutes. And when you are doing something that you don’t enjoy, 5 minutes can feel like an hour. ”Generally,” adds Chaya, ”rule followers, people who are trained to comply with authority and look outward for guidance,

aren’t people who tend to push boundaries, rethink the norm, look inward for inspiration and constantly challenge the status quo--those are inherent tools to be confident and revolutionary.”

Rabbi Shais Taub put it so clearly: Chinuch is not teaching a subject. It’s teaching a student. You’re not dealing with a subject. You’re dealing with a human being. And human beings are complex. Even children. If you are just teaching a subject, it can be very simple. But if you are teaching a student, you need to meet them in their complexities. And if you’re not prepared to meet these kids in their complexities, then that is not considered education.

The Rebbe said that every child has ”his way,” a nature of his own. A teacher should therefore not try to push all his students in a single direction.

Instead, he or she should appreciate the gifts of each individual and cultivate their expression. This concept is alluded to in the Mishnah (Avos 2:9): ”Rabban Yochanan ben Zakkai had five [outstanding] students: ... He used to enumerate their praiseworthy qualities.” Instead of trying to show all his students a single path, Rabbi Yochanan recognized their different qualities and endeavored to make them flourish as individuals. We can, and should, do the same.

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CHESED

By Libby Herz

Looking Out for the

Kimpatorin CHILDBIRTH LED A YOUNG MOTHER TO CREATE AND RUN THE ”MOTHERS OF CROWN HEIGHTS” ORGANIZATION

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Mushka recruiting high school volunteers

I

t was the first night of Chanukah, and Batya was filled with exhilaration. She had just given birth to her fourth child. Her first three children were born in the summertime, and this was her first winter baby! Batya looked forward to bundling her baby in thick, cozy blankets. She was thankful for her supportive husband who took the kids out to Chanukah parties each night so that she could recuperate and bond with the new baby.

But on the fifth night, Batya’s husband and kids left for yet another party. She imagined all of the happy faces at the Chanukah gatherings and began to feel slightly abandoned. Batya didn’t have family members in town who could visit her. She tried to talk herself out of her feelings, but the sense of isolation would not go away.

Then, on the sixth day of Chanukah, there was a knock at the door. It was a Jewish woman, holding a large, brown box.

Batya wasn’t expecting a package. ”Who is this for?” she asked. ”This is for you,” said the woman with a smile.

Upon opening the box, Batya found a plush green blanket, a Shir Hamaalos card, and a list of local resources for new mothers. A gift card read, ”from Mothers of Crown Heights.”

Batya will not forget that visit. ”Every time I use that blanket, I know that someone thought of me when I was alone.”

The Mothers of Crown Heights organization was created four years ago

by Mushka Leiter (nee Friedman), shortly after the birth of her first child. ”I was fortunate to move into the home of my parents. My sisters helped out. It was all hands on deck, and still, my recovery was hard. Only after being blessed with a baby, did I understand how much help a kimpatorin needs.” ּ Kimpatorin (‫עטארין‬ is the Yiddish term ָ ‫)קימפ‬ for ”new mother.” In the past, kimpatorin were expected to do nothing but rest and bond with their new baby for at least one month. Mushka observed how today's modern society values ‘bouncing back’ and going to work. Intent on restoring the age-old value of the kimpatorin, Mushka dreamed of pooling together a list of resources so that women could easily access them. Her goal was that women getting help postpartum would be streamlined and commonplace.

One afternoon, as her baby dozed in his crib, Mushka started typing on her computer. She created MothersofCrownHeights.org. The website is complete with lists of providers, doulas, childbirth classes, and exercise classes. A hospital packing list and a compilation of Chabad customs for labor and delivery are useful files that are available for download.

The site has a clear outline of the available offerings from the many organizations and people in our community. ”It’s really about sharing,

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CHESED

Mrs. Tzivia Jacobson volunteers to care for a newborn

Photo by Itzik Roytman

networking, and making information readily available,” she says.

Since then, the website has evolved. It includes pelvic floor specialists who work with frum women, mental health professionals specializing in perinatal mood and anxiety disorders, and alternative healers. It also includes resources for women experiencing infertility and pregnancy loss.

The website is aesthetically pleasing and easy to navigate.

Still, it requires consistent updates. ”Someone begins a practice, someone closes up shop,” she says. ”There’s constant monitoring.” Women share the website with their friends who spread the word further. Mushka’s husband Chaim Leiter has had people approach him to tell him about how the website had helped their wives.

Dina is from Ohio, and now lives in Crown Heights. When her third baby was born, she

had three children under the age of four. The week she gave birth, two volunteers showed up at the door. ”They played with my kids and took them to the Jewish Children's Museum,” Dina says.

Mothers of Crown Heights coordinated with the Jewish Children's Museum to extend their hours just for these volunteers. It is called Chessed Hour. ”Sometimes it is raining and the mother needs a break,” says Sarah, a high school volunteer. ”I take the kids to the museum and it is such a treat for them!”

Mushka works closely together with the Shifra U'Puah organization. ”It's a collaborative effort,” she says. ”We recruit and coordinate the volunteers. They field a lot of the requests and cover the expenses. Depending on the need of the kimpatorin, we send high school students, seminary girls, young women and sometimes grandmothers as part of the ’Borrow A Bubby’ program to be an extra pair of hands.”

Mrs. Tzivia Jacobson volunteers for Borrow A Bubby. ”Sometimes I wait at the bus stop with younger children,” she says. ”Other times, I fold laundry so the new mother can sleep. That connection and an extra pair of hands are so important to new mothers.”

The baby gifts are co-sponsored

by Keren Hachomesh Foundation, which the Rebbe founded on the day of the passing of his wife, Rebbetzin Chaya Mushka Schneerson, of blessed memory. The names are provided by community news service COLlive.com, and Mothers of Crown Heights reaches out to schedule a delivery. ”With the help of very dedicated volunteers, we’ve given close to 1,000 gifts so far,” Mushka reports.

From its virtual space, Mothers of Crown Heights embraces all women, letting them know that they are part of a wide, caring community. ”The next step,” says Mushka, ”is an actual space. A Motherhood Center, a place where women can access resources, attend classes and workshops, and bring their babies and toddlers.

We're aiming to create a beautiful center that celebrates motherhood. Stay tuned!”

To reach Mothers of Crown Heights, visit mothersofcrownheights.com or email info@mothersofcrownheights.com.

To announce the birth of a newborn and to receive a baby gift, visit COLlive.com/submit-mazel-tov or email editor@COLlive.com.

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11/23/2020 12:19:15 PM

STARTUP

WHAT WE KNOW NOW The bagel boss, an interior architect and a serial entrepreneur share valuable business tips and wisdom

By Rabbi yehoshua werde

The K-Factor is a podcast that I have the honor to host on behalf of CHYE (Crown Heights Young Entrepreneurs) in partnership with community news website COLlive.com.

The K-Factor offers business wisdom that can help future business leaders to make the ”Keli” (vessel) so that they can grow their business aspirations.

We picked three questions that would most benefit potential business owners, and collected answers from 3 interviews. If you are looking for advice, this is a great place to start!

As you will read, there are very similar themes, which include pushing limits and going beyond your comfort zone. Many of the successful business owners interviewed in this series once had little to no experience in their current fields. This should inspire anyone to attempt to achieve their dreams!

Berry Horowitz is the founder and proprietor of ”Bunch O Bagels,” an iconic bagel shop in Crown Heights. He also owned the now-defunct ”Fish Fish and Cannoli” on Empire Blvd.

WHAT DO YOU WISH SOMEONE TOLD YOU WHEN YOU WERE STARTING UP? ”Many people gave me a lot of advice when I started. If I had listened to all the general advice I got, I wouldn't be here today. For instance, many questioned our decision to be located on Troy Avenue. I would suggest making sure you have a specific person you trust and listen to them. The advice I got from the right people was a key factor. ”Another thing to remember is that once you venture into something new, you can't invest your entire life into it.

You can't put your yiddishkeit or family on the shelf while you build your business. You need to continue to invest in all the areas of your life. I was grateful to be able to benefit from the investments I made in my life to my yiddishkeit and family, and that helped me balance it.”

WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST BIG CHALLENGE? ”We were already heavily invested before we even had a bagel recipe. My father-in-law

was in the recording industry for 17 years. When I suggested the idea, he said, ”we can try this, why not?” We started jotting down some ideas. We then consulted with my father, who was in the mortgage business, and he gave some pointers because you need a good business plan and money. You need loans. There are programs out there that will help you prepare for what's ahead. ”We were introduced to David Bernstein, an old-school baker who was 3 generations deep in the bagel bakery world.

He was about 85, and he was done teaching people how to make bagels. We were able to convince him, and he helped us develop our recipe.

Finding the right plan and the right product is the hardest challenge. It’s important to know what you need to do, to do it right. For instance, David told us what equipment we needed to even start. Once we had what we needed he came in and worked with us. You can’t rush these things.”

WHAT ARE SOME FEARS THAT YOU HAD TO OVERCOME? ”Making sure your product is

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STARTUP good. When we first opened our doors, we were giving away whatever we baked, just to know what people thought.

Once we got it right, we were really in business. ”The location played a lot into this because at the time no one was on Troy Avenue. Many people were surprised by this decision, and we didn’t know what would happen. However, we got a good price on the location, and we felt that if we have a good product and treat our customers with respect they will come.”

Yisroel Dolnikov is an Interior Architect (UNSW) and the founder and CEO of Binyan Studios 3D Visualization, a leading Architectural 3D Rendering and Animation Studio with offices in Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane and New York.

WHAT DO YOU WISH SOMEONE TOLD YOU WHEN YOU WERE STARTING UP? ”It’s important that the first person that you hire is someone to help set up meetings with clients. I hired someone to make sure that every week there were 5 potential projects and then I would go and try to make the pitch. It’s not just about spamming people, sending an email or a text. It’s really about getting in front of people, face to face.”

WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST BIG CHALLENGE? ”Once I started, I was looking for ways to get my name out there.

Someone gave me the advice that you have to talk to people.

This was a fascinating idea

because of its simplicity, to just go out and meet people and ask for work. When I would see places building or working on projects, I would just simply go out there and ask them.

You can’t wait for work to come to you.”

WHAT ARE SOME FEARS THAT YOU HAD TO OVERCOME? ”There can be a lot of shady people in this industry, and I wanted to set a certain level of integrity. When people would see me, they see a frum Yid, and that means I am held to that level of integrity. My other fear was maintaining balance in my life, but I make sure to steal time from my work, not from my family time. This is how I find time to exercise or learn and do the other things that are needed outside of family life so I can be dedicated to my family.”

Yochanan Polter is the CEO of PawnGuru, a marketplace that interfaces between consumers and pawnshops.

Active in alternative financial services for the last 10 years, he founded Polter Financial Group, an asset manager for life settlement portfolios, and is a managing partner of Accelerated Life Solutions, a national life settlement brokerage firm with offices in Michigan and Florida.

WHAT DO YOU WISH SOMEONE TOLD YOU WHEN YOU WERE STARTING UP? ”Don’t focus on your level of education. Often, my brother and I will joke around that we are the smartest people in the room. We didn’t say that to be crass, but because neither of

us have any formal training or education, and yet we are in the same room as people with the most advanced level of education and training. Don’t feel intimidated, everyone can achieve their goals.”

WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST BIG CHALLENGE? ”The first thing you have to do is test the market. For some reason, people are convinced you need to spend thousands of dollars and hundreds of hours to prove your concept. At the very begining, we created a landing page on Google AdWords, and started advertising in Atlanta. We just typed in certain keywords.

Right away, we had people who needed to sell something in pawn shops. We didn’t have that, so we manually called local pawn shops and then from there we built out a very basic version of our platform. Once we had enough liquidity, which means products that pawnshops would be willing to use our platform for, we pieced together both sides the merchants and the sellers.”

WHAT ARE SOME FEARS THAT YOU HAD TO OVERCOME? ”I don't know that there is a real calculation of the risk. It’s a matter of just overcoming your fear. Some people have it in them, and some don’t.

I was always someone who viewed business ownership as a challenge, that didn't chase me away. I make a calculated risk and figure that even if I’m not making the same amount of money, at least I'm working for myself. I think the biggest thing that holds us back is ourselves.”

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ADVICE

ASK THE THERAPIST

WITH RABBI DANIEL SCHONBUCH, LMFT

SPIRITUALITY CAN HEAL TRAUMA FROM THE COVID VIRUS Dealing with the long-lasting psychological impact of trauma from the ongoing COVID crisis is one of the most important issues facing the world. Illness, lack of safety, job loss, and uncertainty of what the future will bring, is increasing rates of depression, anxiety, and somatic pain.

Rabbi Daniel Schonbuch, LMFT, who treats trauma, is a therapist and director of the TorahPsychology.org School of Coaching & Counseling. He believes that Chasidus has the power to heal trauma, especially when we can learn how to coach others based on spiritual principles and practices.

HOW CAN PEOPLE UTILIZE SPIRITUALITY TO HEAL TRAUMA? It says in Mishle, ”Daiga b’Lev ha-Ish yesichena,” which translates as ”If there is concern in a man's heart, let him cast it down.” Chassidus teaches that yesichena also means to ”spill,” or to ”empty out” one’s worries to another. This refers to one of the most basic principles of treating trauma: the need to share one’s feelings with others.

I teach people how to coach individuals they know (which includes family and friends) by listening to their feelings with unconditional acceptance.

Listening has the power to elevate people out of states of helplessness and sadness, and into the mindset of positive thinking, emunah and bitachon.

These ideas are actually supported by the latest research in treating trauma.

According to the National Institute for Mental Health, spiritual care forms a vital component of holistic health management, especially in terms of coping, coming to terms with illness, suffering and ultimately, death. They claim that the relationship with the ”transcendent or sacred” has a strong influence on a people’s beliefs, attitudes, emotions

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ADVICE and behavior. Populations, communities, families and individuals have always found solace through their religious or philosophical beliefs during times of personal adversity and widespread anxiety or disaster.

Although spiritual care has always been a part of the domain of religious beliefs, a more contemporary perspective in learning how to coach others to utilize these principles can form part of human care, health and well-being for families, patients and healthcare workers. Spiritual care and coaching deal with the provision of compassion and empathy during periods of heightened stress, distress and anxiety within care.

WHY DO PEOPLE NEED TO LEARN HOW TO TREAT TRAUMA DURING COVID? I believe that this last year was one of the most traumatic years in modern history. Since the Second World War and the Holocaust, we have never seen an international crisis on this level affecting so many areas of life like COVID. Everyone, including teens and children, are in a state of trauma, and need help.

HOW ARE PEOPLE BECOMING TRAUMATIZED? Those who caught the disease, or lost family members or friends, are still in a constant state of fear. Besides the obvious levels of sickness and death, the feelings of isolation that many people are experiencing

are immense. COVID is turning into a complex and prolonged trauma around the world.

For children and teenagers especially, the fear of the unknown coupled with social separation from their peers during school closings are creating a pervasive sense of loneliness and anxiety.

People are spending more time on the Internet which is causing a breakdown of basic human connectedness which traditionally protected them from depression and posttraumatic stress.

WHAT ARE THE LONGTERM EFFECTS OF TRAUMA? The effects include posttraumatic stress, depression and anxiety, somatic pain (i.e. back pain, stomach aches, and feelings of fatigue). Trauma also causes dissociation, in which people walk around feeling ”spaced out” and not grounded in their bodies. Many of my clients even report being scared of walking outside and leaving their homes.

WHAT METHODS DO YOU TEACH TO TREAT TRAUMA? Drawing from the latest neuroscientific research and methods on treating trauma including Somatic Experiencing, EMDR, the Sarno method, EFT tapping, Viktor Frankl's Logotherapy, Emunah and Jewish spirituality, there are many simple techniques which

everyone can use to alleviate emotional distress.

Jewish music, neginum, prayer and dance can also help heal trauma when used properly.

We just need to learn how to structure spirituality in the form of coaching and counseling, which is what our programs at TorahPsychology.org offer to the community.

WHY FOCUS ON THE SPIRITUAL CONNECTION OF THE MIND AND BODY? Over the last two decades, our understanding of trauma has increased dramatically. Using FMRI technology, we can actually see what happens to people when they suffer from trauma.

According to the leaders in the field of neuroscience such as Dr. Van der Kohl (”The Body Keeps the Score”) and Dr. Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing), lower parts of the brain such as the limbic system and the brain stem hold onto trauma through the fight, flight and freeze mechanisms.

When someone is in the freeze mode (collapse) you can't simply talk them out of it. A person's nervous system is unconscious to them, and they need help to unfreeze. This can be accomplished by listening to the body's signals, and gently moving out of collapse. The mind/body connection can be restored by using some simple exercises that people have known about for thousands of years.

Rabbi Daniel Schonbuch, LMFT (Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist) is renowned for treating trauma and improving the emotional lives of individuals, couples and families. He is the author of 4 books.

Torahpsychology.org is now offering a life coach program to help others overcome trauma. For more information visit torahpsychology.org or call 646-428-472.

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HEALTH

BY SRULY MEYER Let’s discuss the donut in the room. On Chanukah, the practice is to add another candle each night based on the rule of the Gemara called maalin bakodesh--one should always elevate to a higher level in matters of sanctity, and not downgrade. The problem is, we practice the same custom with the Chanukah foods.

Like other beautiful Yiddishe holidays, Chanukah is celebrated with delicious foods and snacks.

But we take things a step even further with many deep-fried delights, from latkes to donuts.

With Chanukah commemorated over 8 special nights, it provides us with plenty of opportunities for our diets to fall victim to calories.

So while Chanukah doesn't have the same chumros (stringencies) as Pesach, or even Sukkos, trying to keep healthy throughout it is a miracle of its own.

I tried to create this miracle in my own life. In 2015, I was standing on Eastern Parkway, waiting for the buses of Camp Gan Yisroel to take my oldest son to Parksville for the summer.

I happened to be one of the parents photographed. The next day, I saw myself on COLlive and I was surprised by how big I looked. I was very aware of how overweight I was, yet suddenly, at that moment, I realized that I really had to do something about it.

Over the next 18 months, I worked hard and managed to lose 135 pounds. I wrote and posted about it on social media, and had people come over to me in the street to chat about dieting. Everyone would ask me the same question: What is the secret? What did you do to lose this weight? Truth is, I myself couldn't even believe it most of the time.

The truth is that if you really want to know the secret to dieting, it’s simple. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying it’s easy, but the answer is very simple. It's a word - and also a way of life that the Rambam suggested: moderation. That means that you implement a common-sense

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approach to eating, and set clear limits for yourself. This learned behavior can take months and months.

Moderation is a lesson we learn when we are creating a healthy lifestyle. Living healthy is not about punishing yourself, or denying yourself things.

It’s about living healthy on a day to day basis, so that when Chanukah comes around, you can enjoy yourself without feeling guilty, or hurting your long term health goals.

I remember that at a point in my own diet journey, I felt stuck. I contacted Rivkah Krinsky, a certified health coach based in Crown Heights. She explained that the first step

to dieting is always going to be moderating what you eat.

A second important step was to understand what you are eating. That means, even if it’s unhealthy, it’s important to know what you are eating so you can understand how much of something you can eat.

I followed up with her again this month to ask about eating on Chanukah. ”Chanukah is a beautiful time to experience joy, light and connection with our families and friends,” she said. ”Enjoyment makes us feel alive and it’s essential for having a long-term healthy relationship with food, it’s a form of nourishment in itself. At the same time that we are experiencing the

beautiful Chanukah celebrations and lights, many of us want to feel light too, and for that we need strength. Balance means having a combination of strength (will power) and flexibility (enjoyment).”

What are her tips on how to keep the balance? ”Instead of having a donut a day and latkes every night, change it up some of the time with a healthy alternative, or a lighter version with less oil, using recipes such as ovenbaked donuts and oven-baked latkes. Choose just a couple of times to enjoy the real deal that speaks to you. Enjoy your personal balance over Chanukah!” she said.

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HEALTH

We live in a world of delights, festivities, and celebrations. We live in a reality where you can’t always just have a salad. You need to be able to be at a Chanukah party and allow yourself to have a donut. Maybe not when you are first starting to diet, but at some point, this is the goal. After we learn what moderation really means, we can enjoy ourselves and make sure not to overdo it.

Gila Guzman, a nutrition health coach certified by the Institute for Integrative Nutrition, offers another point on the subject of controlling your appetite. ”Moderation on Chanukah is important but it is also worthwhile to know yourself and understand your relationship with food. For some, eating a few latkes and sufganiyot on Chanukah is what allows you to stay on track with your healthy meal plan.” ”You would feel too deprived if you didn’t partake in the festive holiday food,” Guzman explains. ”You choose to treat yourself because you will be eating balanced food at the very next meal. For others, as soon as they take the first bite of chocolate or custard-filled goodness, the floodgates open.

They start eating everything they denied themselves in the most recent past on their restrictive diet plan.”

In such a case she says that ”the best solution for this person is to eliminate the restrictive diet plan completely, and learn a balanced approach to eating that is sustainable and enjoyable.

Take a moment and think about your relationship with food and where you are on this pendulum, and then decide what will work best for you.”

So how do I practice moderation and balance in my home on Chanukah? I recreate latkes using both potatoes and other fun vegetable combinations, and air fry them instead of deepfrying. We do this on most nights of the holiday. My kids love to make donuts in our donut maker with healthier ingredients that taste great. And on one of the nights, I’ll purchase storebought sugar-powdered jelly-filled sufganiyot for my family to enjoy without guilt or shame. It’s a win-win!

This Chanukah when the donuts come out, instead of telling yourself, ”It’s Chanukah, let me cheat,” tell yourself, ”it’s Chanukah, let me eat - in moderation.”

Sruly Meyer owns and operates a marketing firm, SMG. On the side, he enjoys cooking, baking and discussing his weight loss journey and tips on healthy living. Follow him @srulycooks and on collive.com.

To learn more about health coach Rivkah Krinsky: revivewithrivkah.com.

To learn more about health coach Gila Guzman: coachgilaapproved.com.

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deep-fried Star dishes

FOOD

We Asked Leading Kosher Restaurants In Crown Heights to Share A Star Deep-fried Dish For Chanukah.

Abe’s Corner

Veggie Frites Serves 2

Ingredients:

Veggies

Directions:

Veggies

2 eggplants peeled 2 zucchinis unpeeled 8 portobello mushrooms oil for frying

Prepare the vegetables by cutting off the ends of the eggplants and zucchinis and cut into 2 inch batons. Scrape out the gills under cap of the portobello mushrooms and cut into 4 pieces.

Tempura Batter

Tempura Batter

1 cup tempura flour 1/2 cup seltzer with several ice cubes 1 tsp. garlic powder 1 tsp. onion powder 1 tsp. salt

Tzatziki Sauce 12 oz. container Tofutti nondairy sour cream or non-dairy yogurt 2 French cucumbers, grated, which creates a juice splash of white wine 1 teaspoon lemon juice fresh herbs - 2 oz. fresh dill, 1 oz. mint, pinch salt and pepper dash mustard powder dash fennel 1 tsp. salt

Combine 1 cup of tempura flour with seasonings, add 1/2 cup of seltzer water and a few ice cubes.

Mix well and chill the batter.

Tzatziki Sauce Combine the non-dairy sour cream or non-dairy yogurt (preferable), juice of 2 grated French cucumbers, (reserve some of the cucumber pieces for the sauce), splash of white wine (if available), lemon juice, fresh dill, fresh mint, salt, pepper, dash of mustard powder and fennel.

Mix well and set aside.

Heat oil in a deep saucepan to 350 degrees. Mix to coat vegetables with the batter and fry at 350 degrees until golden brown and crispy. Drain and season. Serve with Tzatziki on the side and enjoy!

Their Chefs Were Happy To Help And Even Detail How You Can Make Them At Home

Boeuf and Bun

Sweet Potato Latke with red Confit, Maple Truffle Aioli and Herb Oil Serves 4-8

Duck Confit: Ingredients: 2 duck legs 4 sprigs fresh thyme 4 cloves roughly chopped garlic 2 tablespoons Kosher Salt Coarsely ground black pepper 2 cups duck fat to cover* * Substitute option for duck fat is a neutral oil like vegetable/canola

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s

d

e

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i

Directions: Cover duck legs in salt, black pepper, thyme sprigs and crushed garlic.

Place duck in a single layer into an oven safe tray.

Refrigerate overnight (minimum of 2 hours).

Remove from fridge and wash off seasoning. Pat dry with paper towel.

Place duck back in oven-safe container, cover completely with duck fat (or neutral oil like vegetable/canola).

Cover tightly with 3 layers of aluminum foil.

Cook covered in the oven at 220 degrees until fork tender; 4-6 hours.

Wait until it's cool enough to handle and separate the duck meat from bones/skin. Shred duck meat to the preferred size.

Sweet Potato Latke:

Maple Truffle Aioli:

Ingredients:

Ingredients:

1 lb sweet potatoes, peeled and coarsely grated

1/2 cup mayonnaise

1 small onion thinly sliced or grated

1 tablespoon maple syrup

1 scallion thinly sliced (optional)

1 tablespoon truffle oil

1 tablespoon finely chopped parsley (optional)

1 teaspoon chopped truffles (optional)

1 tablespoon flour or potato starch

1 teaspoon finely chopped parsley (optional)

1 teaspoon maple syrup (optional)

Salt and pepper to taste (optional)

1 egg Vegetable oil for frying

Directions: Whisk all ingredients together until homogeneous.

Directions: Place all ingredients except oil in a bowl and mix well.

Heat 1 inch of frying oil in a skillet on medium heat.

Spoon in sweet potato mixture, spread evenly until desired size.

Cook until golden brown, about 3-4 minutes, flipping halfway through.

Transfer latkes to a cooling rack or paper towel.

Store in fridge in a glass jar or squeeze bottle.

To Plate: Place latke in the center of a plate.

Pile preferred amount of warm pulled duck confit on latke.

Squeeze maple truffle aioli on top.

Garnish with parsley/herbs/microgreens/red chili/herb oil of your choice.

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Directions:

Mozzarella

Crème brûlée mini doughnuts Makes 18-22 doughnuts

Ingredients:

Crème Brûlée Pastry Cream 2 cups milk 1/2 cup granulated sugar 1/3 cup corn starch 2 egg yolks 1/2 vanilla bean, seeds scraped

Doughnuts 1 cup milk 7 grams dry yeast 1/4 cup granulated sugar 1/4 cup unsalted butter, melted 1 egg 1/2 teaspoon salt 2-1/2 cups all purpose flour canola oil, for frying 1/2 cup sugar, for caramelizing tops

Crème Brulee

In a medium saucepan heat about 2/3 of the milk with the vanilla seeds and its scraping pod over medium heat.

In a separate bowl place egg yolks, cornstarch and sugar, and add the remaining 1/3 of the milk and whisk until smooth.

When the milk just starts to boil, ladle / pour a little of the hot milk into the egg yolk mixture about a ¼ of a cup at a time, whisking while adding the milk, until the mixture is homogeneous. Pour everything back into the pot.

Continue to whisk until the mixture comes to a boil. Lower the heat and strain it into a container. Cover with plastic wrap, the cover should touch the surface of the pastry cream. Let cool and keep cool until ready to use.

Doughnuts

Heat milk in the microwave, until lukewarm (2 minutes). Pour into a standing mixer bowl with a dough hook. Add yeast and mix. Let stand for 10 minutes.

Whisk in granulated sugar, butter, egg and salt. Add flour. Beat at mediumhigh until the dough forms a ball and cleans sides and bottom of the bowl, about 5 minutes. Change to dough hook and starting the mixer on low speed, mix the dough 2 – 3 minutes.

Brush a medium bowl with oil. Line a large pan with parchment. Brush lightly with oil.

Scrape dough from the mixer bowl to a greased bowl. Lightly grease the top of the dough and cover with a damp kitchen towel. Let stand in a warm place until the dough doubles in size, about an hour. Or cover with plastic wrap directly over the dough, cover the bowl with another plastic sheet and leave in the fridge overnight.

Roll out dough on a floured surface to a thickness of 1/2 to 3/4 inch. Using a 2.75 inch round cutter, cut into 20-24 rounds. Transfer to a prepared sheet.

Cover with the same damp towel and let stand until the donuts are large and double in size, about 45 minutes.

Pour oil into pot until it reaches the top on the sides. Place a deep fryer thermometer clamp on side. Heat over medium flame until the temperature reaches 325 F. Adjust the heat as needed to maintain a temperature of 325 F during cooking. Fry donuts, 4 at a time, turning halfway, until golden, 2 to 3 minutes. Let cool on paper towels.

When the donuts are completely cooled, make a hole in the side of the donuts.

Fill a pastry bag fitted with a medium plain tip or a bismark tip if you have one.

Holding the donut in one hand, put the tip into the hole and gently squeeze the pastry bag to fill the donut. When you feel the sides of the donut expand slightly, withdraw the tip. Repeat with remaining donuts.

Caramel Glaze

Place sugar in a small, heavy pot, moisten it with a tablespoon of water. Let it simmer over very low flame until it reaches a light honey hue. Turn off the heat immediately, the caramel will continue to darken even more. Let the caramel cool slightly, about a minute. Carefully dip each donut part in the caramel, and hold the sides of the donut. * The caramel is very hot, so pay attention! Let the excess caramel drip, and place it on a rack, with the caramel side facing up, and continue with the rest of the donuts. They are ready to serve after the caramel glaze has hardened.

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FOOD

MEAT

Duck Croquette with a Sweet Potato Puree, Baby Zucchini and Arugula Leaves Makes 20 4-inch rolls

Ingredients:

Reduced Beef Stock - Demi Glace 1 lb. leek roughly chopped 1 lb. onion roughly chopped 1 lb. carrot roughly chopped 1 lb. celery root roughly chopped 1 lb. parsley root roughly chopped ½ cup canola oil ½ bottle of wine (or 4 or 5 cups) 2.2 lb beef bones 5 tablespoons tomato paste

Duck 6 duck legs 3 lb. duck fat

Directions:

Reduced Beef Stock - Demi-Glace Roast the bones in the oven at 350 F until golden brown.

Add bones and all root vegetables to large heavy pot. Sear over high heat in canola oil until vegetables have a nice caramelized color.

Add tomato paste. On a lower flame, cook vegetables and tomato paste for 5 minutes.

Add wine. Stir to make sure nothing sticks to bottom of the pot, cook 5 minutes.

Tip: A wooden spoon helps to keep things from sticking to the bottom.

Add water to the top of the pot. Let it cook for 12 hours, as water gets reduced, add more water.

After 12 hours, strain everything and you will be left with a thick black sauce called demi-glace.

Duck

Place duck legs on a deep sheet pan. Cover with duck fat.

Place in the oven at 185 F for 12 hours.

After 12 hours, pick the meat from the bones.

Mix the meat with ½ cup of the Demi Glace and honey (half cup honey for 2 lb duck legs), add zest of 1 orange.

Shape the duck mixture into a 24 inch long cylinder on a piece of plastic wrap and wrap tightly in the plastic wrap.

Refrigerate wrapped roll for one and a half hours.

Once cold, take it out of the fridge, and carefully remove the plastic wrap. Because it is cold it’ll keep its shape and you can slice it into 4 inch pieces.

Dip in beaten egg and roll in panko crumbs, then dip in egg again and panko again.

Fry in 360 F canola oil for 3 minutes (fully submerged in oil).

Drain on paper towel to cool.

½ cup honey zest of one orange 1 egg, beaten 1 cup panko crumbs canola oil for frying

Sweet Potato Puree 2 large peeled sweet potatoes roughly chopped 1 white onion roughly chopped 3 tablespoons canola oil 2 cardamom pods chicken stock or water to cover

Sweet Potato Puree

Sear sweet potatoes and onion in a pan in canola oil until a caramelized color.

Smash cardamom inside the pot.

Cover it with chicken stock (or water).

Cook for a half hour. Let all the juices reduce.

Process in food processor until a very smooth puree is reached.

Tip: First try to process only the sweet potato, if you have liquid left, add it and it will make it smoother.

To Plate:

Heat the demi glace sauce. Spoon sweet potato puree onto plate, approximately ¼ cup.

Drip 2 tablespoons demi glace sauce on the plate, garnish with arugula leaves and baby zucchini.

Place the duck on top.

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FOOD

Perfectly Imperfect

Moroccan Donuts Luly Kabasso started selling a variety of baked goodies for Shabbos in 2019.

Her menu consisted of different types of Moroccan and Egyptian pastries, as well as challahs and babkas.

Soon enough, her babkas took on a new life when she started filling them with flavors beyond the usual chocolate and cinnamon. Some of the unique new fillings consisted of cotton candy, pumpkin pie, red velvet and funfetti.

Then Chanukah arrived and she was looking for a game-changer. ”I wanted to stand out from the crowd so I thought to myself, what if I fry my babka dough?” Kabasso says.

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ot and of a carr help e c ie p Cut a oil to into the g pieces it w o r th tin any floa in the oil. a bs o r b of f y break nt the oil a m t a h t o preve It will als burning! from

”As soon as I started frying them I noticed that they did not look anything like a usual donut,” she says. ”There were these beautiful air bubbles formed on the outside layer, the inside became super fluffy, and light in weight. Before I had even started filling them with flavors I knew this would be something big.”

Her next step was to find an appropriate name for it. ”I knew they needed a name of their own because they truly were not anything like a donut,” she says. ”After much thought and consideration, my family helped me decide on The Bonut. It was unique, chic and straight to the point.”

When she announced her new creation on Instagram, people ”couldn’t wait to get their hands on them,” Kabasso says. ”I sold out within hours for the entire chag!”

She originally planned to offer the Bonut only during Chanukah, but a poll among her followers made it clear that they were here to stay year-round. She is now operating as ”The Bonut Banter” and taking ongoing orders (follow her on Instagram @TheBonutBanter).

While Kabasso carefully guards her recipe for the Bonut, she was happy to share with us her recipe for another popular Chanukah pastry - the Sfinge, a Moroccan styled donut that has been a family favorite of hers. ”They are similar in texture to the now-famous Bonut,” she emphasizes. ”Just like the Bonut, they are super light and airy and topped with either confectioners sugar or cinnamon sugar. They are something that my family would make every single night of Chanukah growing up. It’s one of my childhood favorites and I would like to share a piece of that with you.” ”What I love about them the most is that they are super easy to put together and you do not have to be the greatest baker to make them. They are perfectly imperfect (literally).”

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What You Will Need: 3 cups flour 3 tsp yeast 1/2 tsp salt 1/4 cup sugar 1 3/4 cups warm water (using filtered water works the best) 1 tsp vanilla bean paste Oil for frying Confectioners sugar or cinnamon sugar for coating

Directions:

Yield 15-20 Sfinge

1.

ombine all the dry ingredients into a bowl C and sift together. Once combined, add in your vanilla bean paste and water. Mix until all the ingredients are combined. The dough is very wet, sticky and kind of runny. So don’t worry! It’s supposed to look like that.

2. Transfer the dough into an oiled bowl, cover and let rise for 30 minutes.

3. After the first rise, punch down and let rise again for another 30 minutes to 1 hour. You’ll know when it’s ready when it has doubled in size.

4. Heat a few inches of oil in a heavy duty pan. Let it come to a temp of 350 - 375 degrees before frying to ensure the oil is hot enough.

5. Wet your hands to prevent sticking and grab a

piece of the dough and form into a round ball.

Poke your thumb into the middle of the dough ball to create a very large hole in the center. It will not look perfect so don’t try too hard to make them perfect. Fry for 2 minutes on each side or until golden brown. Remove from the oil and place on a cooling rack to remove any excess oils.

6. Once cooled enough to handle you can dust the

confectioners sugar on top or toss it into a bowl of powdered sugar. Serve immediately and enjoy!

7. Sfinge aren’t the best after they are cooked so

it’s best to make them right before serving. If you have leftover dough you can throw it in the freezer and use it again when it is needed.

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HUMOR

THE CHANUKAH WEIGHTLOSS PLAN

By Mordechai Shmutter No offense, but we really need to lose weight already.

Every year, everybody makes the same jokes about how Chanukah is horrible for our diets, between the latkes and the sour cream and the donuts and the lasagna and the onion soup with cheese melted in it, and—okay, I’m going to take a break now because I need to go make myself some of those foods.

Okay, I’m back. So what I’m saying is that I don’t think that we, as a society, are trying hard enough. See, we keep saying things like, ”How do we lose weight after Chanukah?”

But who says we need to lose weight after Chanukah? Let’s lose weight on Chanukah!

Sure, losing weight on Chanukah is not easy. After

all these years, we should know by now that we’re never really going to eat better on Chanukah. We’re going to eat what we’re going to eat.

Every year, you say, ”I’m only going to have one donut over Chanukah.” But then you think, ”Wait. Is that enough?

There are eight days.” Do you stand up at the beginning of Yom Tov and say, ”I’m only going to have one piece of meat”? No, you’re going to have meat every day. You eat eight separate cows.

But what we forget is that there’s more than one way to skin a cow. You can eat right, or you can exercise. We’re never going to stop eating, but there’s nothing that says that we can’t be more active.

Sure, that first half hour we’re supposed to be sitting in front

of the candles. But there are 24 hours in a day. And even that one half hour, you could be running down the street with your menorah. Imagine the pirsumei nisa!

Though that could be too much like the Greeks. Also, a lot of people read this column, and if all those people start running down the street with menorahs, it would not be good for the Jews. No one is going to say, ”Ooh, pirsumei nisa!”

But maybe we, as a society, can work a little harder on reconfiguring some of the other things we do on Chanukah to make them more of a workout. Because as it stands, we’re not very active on Chanukah. Pesach has all the same potatoes, but on top of running around and baking

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HUMOR

matzah, we clean our entire house. That’s a workout. And for Sukkos, we build a house.

We also walk around in circles doing aerobic exercises with our arbah minim and our machzorim. But what other holiday do we just sit around at parties for an entire week, saying, ”I don’t know, let’s play a game where we have to answer questions about our spouses”?

Don’t get me started. All I know is that on Sukkos, people dance and juggle torches. How come nobody is juggling menorahs? The only thing we actually do for Chanukah that can maybe be considered exercise is rearrange all the furniture in our living room.

And what do we do for recreation on Chanukah itself? We play dreidel, which is arguably the least athletic game in the world.

You sit around, you flick your fingers, and the winner gets chocolate. They should at least make the dreidels heavier, so it’s actually like lifting weights. In the old days, they made them out of clay, so that was something, at least.

The winner of that can get chocolate. Or carrot slices.

And whoever wins has to eat all the carrot slices. People will actively be hoping for a shin.

So giant Chanukah items is definitely one way to go about it. The Lubavitchers do it right. Maybe you should have a massive menorah outside your house, and to light the menorah, you have to climb

why are you dancing, right?

But who says you can’t dance outside, in front of the window? Besides you wife.

How come Purim is the only day of the year when dancing on the front lawn is socially acceptable? Do you need to wear some kind of disguise so no one knows it’s you?

Also, maybe everyone should wear their winter coats, gloves, hats, and scarves the entire Chanukah – even indoors – so we can sweat it out.

For example, we can play We need to all work on this, or it’s games like together not going to work. For example, we can give ”How Many each other Chanukah gifts remind the recipient Babies Can that to lose weight, if we want You Hold?” Or to cause sholom bayis issues. (”Here’s a gift ”Who Can Put certificate to the gym!” ”Oh yeah? Well here are On The Most some smaller clothes!” ”Oh, yeah? Well, here’s a bigger food scale!”)

Coats?”

In fact, if we really wanted to work out, dreidels would be massive, 7-foot, 600-lb. toys, and the way to spin one is that you have to get 4 people together, and have each one hold a side up and run in unison, and then you all let go at once and back up as it spins around the room, and then you have to keep dodging it so no one gets flattened.

a ladder with a lit shamash in one hand, and if it goes out, you have to go back down and do it again.

Also, we should be dancing for Haneiros Halalu. Sure, some of us already dance for the entire Haneiros Halalu, but it’s more like slow hakafos while gingerly trying not to upset the candles. Maybe we should come out with tunes that require coordinated acrobatics or something. Of course, the issue is that you don’t want to upset the candles, and if you’re dancing somewhere that you can’t see the candles,

And the games we play at massive family Chanukah parties can also be more athletic than they are. For example, we can play games like ”How Many Babies Can You Hold?” Or ”Who Can Put On The Most Coats?”

For example, Musical Chairs is a fun party game to play as a family if you’re not so makpid on the

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HUMOR whole inyan of kids sitting in their parents’ seats. As the father, I would suddenly be makpid and win every round.

So maybe save this one for the shul Chanukah party. There’s only one rov.

Or why not go for a group run around the block? The whole massive family, strollers and all, maybe with the bubbies standing on the sidelines and handing out cocoa. Or we can have relay races. I’ve never been to a single Chanukah party where the game was relay races. Granted, all my Chanukah parties have been with basically the same family.

It’s not like I keep going to different families. The only time I go to different families is when people hire me to do stand-up comedy. And even then, I’m the only one standing. Everyone else is sitting. That seems fair.

And speaking of making games more active, how about playing dreidel in a cave, like they did in the old days? Dreidel would be a lot better for weight loss if we can add spelunking to the game. And also, quite possibly, running from bears.

And speaking of the olden days, I think we should all have to make our own olive oil.

The stores should stop selling olive oil altogether and just sell olives. And giant vats. And

the olives can be available in different colors, so you can buy a color that you don’t normally eat. That way, there’s no confusion of, say, someone eating from the wrong vat.

On second thought, maybe you should keep the vat out at the Chanukah party, so people have less of an appetite.

We should also have to twist our own wicks, which is probably not a big deal, so maybe we should also have to pick the cotton. And we should also have to make our own Chanukah candles. For one thing, they’d be bigger. I made candles exactly once in my life, on a 4th grade field trip. Everyone had to walk around in a circle, and when we got near the hot stove, we would dip our string into the wax. I’m not sure why all the walking was important, other than they didn’t want everyone dipping their hands into hot wax at once, but all the walking would definitely help in our situation.

And then we can write songs that make more sense than the current dreidel song! ”I have some little candles, I made them out of wax; I did all those hakafos, So I’d fit into my slacks.” ”I had a little wick that,

I made from cotton balls; I twisted all the chutin Like I do for all my shawls.” ”I have a vat of oil, I made it out of zeisim; I crushed the olives barefoot, And the whole thing smells like meisim.”

And we can even take this back to dreidels: ”I have a massive dreidel, It weighs about a ton, And now I need four players, Or this thing will crush someone.”

So the idea is to go back to what they did in the olden days. You didn’t have people a thousand years ago complaining about how fat they were after Chanukah. You think the Chashmonaim would have won the war if they weighed what we weigh?

Yeah, probably, because there’s no natural way they could have won anyway.

In fact, if they would have weighed what we weigh, they probably could have gone head to head with he elephants.

Mordechai Schmutter is a freelance writer and a humor columnist for Hamodia, COLlive.com and other publications. He also has six books out and does stand-up comedy. He can be contacted at mschmutter@gmail.com

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