Your Life - Student Book 2 - Friendships

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10 You and other people Making friends Discuss the list of statements about friends and friendships. Decide whether you think each statement is a) true, b) sometimes true, c) not true. Make a note of your views, then join up with another pair and share your views in a group discussion.

The rules of friendship

The secret of making friends Be forgiving Some people just can’t cut it in the friendship stakes; they may Be patient and sensitive let you down, stand you up, or blab something that was meant to No matter how much you like someone, don’t demand too much, be just between the two of you. What you’ve got to do is too soon; it may freak the other understand the limits of particular person out. No one likes to be friendships. pushed into things, nor to feel suffocated by another’s attentions. You must not think that one Chill out, and let the relationship disappointing friendship means grow naturally. that they’ll all be disappointing. Learn to understand and forgive Listen to your own your friends their shortcomings. conscience There will be some people who If a prospective friend does will always be there for you, and something that makes you feel there will be others who won’t. uncomfortable, don’t be afraid to It’s okay to have break off. Likewise, if someone lots of friends makes you feel bad about yourself, then dump them – Without being at all disloyal, you they’re no good for you. So that can have different friends for bad feelings aren’t left to ferment different things. Some mates are and therefore cloud whatever sports team buddies, others are remains of the friendship, be upschool pals and others you see front and let them know what’s only once a week at dance class. bugging you. To some friends you will be an open book and they will know all Learn to be trusting your deepest, darkest fears. Other It’s impossible to have a friends will only know the barest friendship if there is no trust. details. That’s fine. Don’t get Both people have to be open, worked up about making every honest and not afraid to say no. friend a best friend. Anita Naik offers advice on how to make and keep friends

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1 Keep your friends’ secrets. 2 Wait for your friend to offer secrets: do not pry. 3 Share your happy times as well as your sad times. 4 Stand up for your friends. 5 Show loving support. 6 Ask your friends for support when you need help. 7 Offer help: do not just wait for your friend to ask. 8 Make sure you return borrowed things. 9 If your friend hurts your feelings, say so. Don’t go off in a sulk. 10 Look in your friend’s eyes when you talk. 11 Don’t joke about or tease your friend. 12 Don’t be jealous of your friend’s other relationships.

For your file Write your views on friends and friendships. Say how important friendships are to you, what you value most in a friendship and what your expectations of friendships are.

Discuss what Anita Naik says about how to make and keep friends. Make lists of a) the types of behaviour that help to cement a friendship, b) the kinds of behaviour that are likely to destroy a friendship.


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