UNC Wilmington Family Guide

FAMILY

GUIDE

Tips To Help You Support Your Student Throughout Their College Transition

Table of Contents 6 UNC Wilmington

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6

Welcome to UNCW

7

Family Resources

8

UNCW Lingo

10

Transfer Student Resources

11

UNCW Resources

12

Important Dates

14

Campus Traditions and Events

16

High School vs. College

18

Conversation Starters

20

Campus Map

TABLE OF CONTENTS

22 The Adjustment to College 22

First Year of College Wisdom

24

An RA’s Best Tips for Helping Roommates Get Along

28

Finding Community on Campus

30 A New Perspective on Parenting 30

What to Expect After the College Drop-Off

32

Survival Guide for New College Parents

33

When They Return Home for Break

Ways to Support 36 More Wellness and Success 36

Important Health Conversations to Have with Your Student

38

Supporting Mental Health

40

Choosing a Major

42

Keep an Eye on the Budget

44

Building Career-Ready Skills – The Importance of Internships

46 Meet Our Writers collegiateparent.com/school/university-of-north-carolina-wilmington

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Welcome to UNCW Dear Families, Welcome to the University of North Carolina Wilmington! For over 70 years, UNCW has been helping students give flight to their imagination and achieve excellence. You and your student are now part of a close-knit community of students, families, faculty, staff, and alumni in Wilmington, NC and around the world. Our hope is that both you and your student are able to find a home away from home in the Seahawk family.

At UNCW, we view family members as key partners in student success. We hope that this guide will be the first of many resources you take advantage of while your student attends UNCW. This guide is designed to provide you with important details and informative articles with insights and tips on what to expect during your student’s time at UNCW.

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We recommend signing up for our monthly Family Newsletter and connecting with us on social media. More information on accessing these resources can be found later in this guide.

Whether it is through our UNCW Parents Council, Family Weekend, or just a weekend trip to visit your student, we hope to see you often in the future! Please know that our office is always available as a resource to both you and your student.

Go Seahawks!

Office of Transition Programs University of North Carolina Wilmington uncw.edu/transitions

UNC WILMINGTON

Family Resources UNCW and the Office of Transition Programs are committed to helping our Seahawk Families engage with the University and provide much needed support to their students. Programs and publications, such as this guide, are offered as a way of providing insight into the student experience and strategies for positive family engagement. Below you will find a collection of resources available to families.

Family Weekend Seahawk families are invited to join us in Wilmington in September for a weekend of entertainment, fellowship, and celebration!

Events for Family Weekend include athletic events, downtown Wilmington Ghost Walks, Seahawk Adventures kayaking and stand-up paddle boarding trips, and more.

Registration will open in the summer. We recommend registering early, as many events have a limited capacity and fill up quickly!

To learn more, visit uncw.edu/transitions/ family/faw/index.html.

Family Newsletter The Family Newsletter is distributed monthly by the Office of Transition Programs. It provides families with helpful information about campus events, important dates and deadlines, articles from campus departments, and advice for helping students to be successful.

To sign-up for the Family Newsletter, visit uncw.edu/transitions/family/familyresources.html.

Social Media Families are encouraged to connect with the Office of Transition Programs through our social media pages. These pages feature important timely information for families and students.

Facebook: facebook.com/ uncwtransitionprograms Instagram: instagram.com/uncwtransitions Additionally, families are welcome to contact the Office of Transition Programs directly should they have concerns, questions, or need advice to help their student.

Office of Transition Programs (910) 962-3089 transitions@uncw.edu

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UNCW Lingo

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TERM/LOCATION

DEFINITION

Canvas

Canvas is the online learning management system used by faculty and students. The system allows students to interact with each other through discussion boards, take quizzes, view notes or PowerPoints used in class, and track grades.

CAIC Fisher Student Center

Campus Activities & Involvement Center (pronounced “cake”) is the student gateway to entertainment, involvement, and leadership on campus. The Association for Campus Entertainment, Student Government Association, and UNCWeekends are student-led organizations advised by CAIC.

Chancellor’s Walk Academic corridor of campus

This 2,416-foot walkway between Randall Library and Wagoner Hall carries pedestrian traffic through the heart of campus.

Clock Tower Campus Commons in front of Randall Library

The Clock Tower is an iconic campus symbol that was a gift from the class of 2000. It plays the fight song, alma mater, and chimes on the hour and half-hour.

Dub’s Warwick Center

Dub’s Café is a dining facility located in the Warwick Center.

Dub’s offers a buffet with a seasonal menu that is locally inspired. In August 2018, Dub’s Café became the first 3-Star Certified Green Restaurant® in Wilmington.

Fisher Fisher Student Center and Fisher University Union

UNCW named the student center in honor of alumni Herbert and Sylvia Fisher, whose ties to their alma mater extend back more than 50 years to the early days of Wilmington College. The Fisher Student Center and the Fisher University Union house programs, support services, and dining options for students.

Hawk’s Nest Fisher University Union

Hawk’s Nest is a food-court style dining location offering a variety of food options including burritos, tacos, salads, flatbreads, burgers, sushi, and fresh-grilled choices. Panda Express, Chick-fil-A, and Subway are adjacent to Hawk’s Nest.

Healthy Hawks

Healthy Hawks is UNCW’s well-being initiative in collaboration with Campus Recreation, the Counseling Center, and the Student Health Center. UNCW defines wellbeing as a holistic approach to daily life that acknowledges the integration of many facets that contribute to an individual’s experiences of the self, others and world.

The Hub

The Hub is a dining location between Galloway Hall and Graham-Hewlett Halls which includes Mooyah, Starbucks, and a Provisions on Demand (P.O.D.) Market.

UNC WILMINGTON

Links

Seahawk Links are student peer mentors assigned to firstyear seminar courses who assist incoming students as they acclimate to UNCW during their first year.

LiveSafe

LiveSafe is an app UNCW students, family members and guests can use to access university maps, emergency procedures, university and local resources, message University Police or report incidents to other campus offices, use SafeWalk (a peer-topeer virtual escort tool), and receive emergency notifications.

Lumina Fisher Student Center

Lumina Theater offers a professional movie theater experience on campus and screens blockbusters, independents, cult classics, art films, international films, and student films throughout the academic year.

MySeaport

The UNCW mySeaport portal is a convenient single signon access to email, SeaNet, Canvas, and numerous other applications.

RA

Resident Assistants (RAs) are responsible for an on-campus residential floor, wing, pod, building, or area. The RA serves as a facilitator to encourage a positive and welcoming, healthy and safe, cooperative and considerate living environment.

Reading Day

A reading day is set aside by the university to allow time to study for final exams. It is scheduled after all the regular classes are completed and before final exams.

S.I.

Supplemental Instruction is an academic support service for courses that are traditionally more challenging for students.

The University Learning Center hires and trains an S.I. Leader (an upperclassman who has taken the course) who works with the instructor and provides weekly peer-facilitated learning sessions based on what is being covered in the course.

SeaNet

SeaNet is the online system UNCW students use to add and drop courses, check grades, find their advisor, submit timesheets, apply for financial aid, check financial aid status, and view a degree audit.

Sharky’s Fisher Student Center

Sharky’s Box Office & Game Room is a popular hang-out for students between classes and a great space to host events.

Students enjoy pool, XBox, ping pong, TVs, and board games.

UNI

University Studies 101 is a first-year seminar course required for all incoming first-year students. University Studies 201 is an optional seminar course for transfer students. The purpose of UNI is to support new students as they integrate into UNCW and the college experience.

Wag

Wagoner Hall offers all-you-care-to-eat dining with cuttingedge American entrées, ethnically-inspired foods, vegetarian selections, and lots more, all prepared right before your eyes! collegiateparent.com/school/university-of-north-carolina-wilmington

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Transfer Student Resources Teal Bridge, in the Office of Transition Programs, is the go-to resource for transfers at UNCW. Teal Bridge plans events, coordinates a peer mentor program, and sends a bi-weekly newsletter to keep transfer students up to date on everything happening on campus.

Programs include:

• • • •

Peer mentor program Monthly events Transfer resources Transition Talks

Students can sign up or learn more about Transfer Student Programs by visiting uncw.edu/transitions/tealbridge/index.html.

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UNC WILMINGTON

UNCW Resources Auxiliary Services

uncw.edu/auxiliary

(910) 962-3178

Campus Dining

uncw.edu/dining

(910) 962-3960

Parking & Transportation

uncw.edu/parking

(910) 962-3178

Printing Services

uncw.edu/printing

(910) 962-3289

Seahawk Mail

uncw.edu/mail

(910) 962-3750

UNCW Bookstore

uncw.edu/bookstore

(910) 962-3188

UNCW One Card

uncw.edu/onecard

(910) 962-3560

Campus Life

uncw.edu/campuslife

(910) 962-3285

Campus Recreation

uncw.edu/campusrec

(910) 962-7443

CARE

uncw.edu/care

(910) 962-CARE (2273)

Career Center

uncw.edu/career

(910) 962-3174

Counseling Center

uncw.edu/counseling

(910) 962-3746

Disability Resource Center

uncw.edu/disability

(910) 962-7555 (800) 735-2962 TDD

Honors College

uncw.edu/honors

(910) 962-4181

Housing & Residence Life

uncw.edu/housing

(910) 962-3241

Information Technology Systems

uncw.edu/itsd

(910) 962-HELP (4357)

International Programs

uncw.edu/global

(910) 962-3685

Office of the Dean of Students

uncw.edu/odos

(910) 962-3119

Office of Scholarships & Financial Aid

uncw.edu/finaid

(910) 962-3177

Office of Student Leadership & Engagement

uncw.edu/osle

(910) 962-3877

Office of Transition Programs

uncw.edu/transitions

(910) 962-3089

Seahawk PERCH

uncw.edu/perch

(910) 962-3119

Student Accounts & Cashier Services

uncw.edu/studentaccounts

(910) 962-4281

Student Health Services

uncw.edu/healthservices

(910) 962-3280

Title IX & Clery Compliance

uncw.edu/titleix

(910) 962-3557

UNCW Emergency Hot Line

uncw.edu/alert

(888) 657-5751

University College

uncw.edu/uc

(910) 962-3245

University Learning Center

uncw.edu/ulc

(910) 962-7857

University Police

uncw.edu/police

(910) 962-2222

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Important Dates FALL 2020 AUGUST Wednesday, Aug. 19: First Day of Class (FDOC) Wednesday, Aug. 26: Last day for registration/Last day to add or drop a class without a grade Thursday, Aug. 27: Undergraduate tuition due

SEPTEMBER Monday, Sept. 7: Labor Day (University closed)

OCTOBER Friday, Oct. 16: Last day to withdraw with a W Monday, Oct. 19: Graduation application deadline for Fall 2020

NOVEMBER Monday, Nov. 2: Registration opens for Spring 2021 Tuesday, Nov. 24: Last Day of Class (LDOC) Wednesday, Nov. 25: Reading Day (no classes) Thursday, Nov. 26 & Friday, Nov. 27: Thanksgiving Break (University closed) Monday, Nov. 30: Final Exams begin

DECEMBER Tuesday, Dec. 1–Saturday, Dec. 5: Final Exams Saturday, Dec. 12: Commencement Thursday, Dec. 24–Friday, Jan. 1: University closed

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UNC WILMINGTON

SPRING 2021 JANUARY Friday, Jan. 1: New Year’s Day (University closed) Monday, Jan. 4: University opens Monday, Jan. 11: First Day of Class (FDOC) Monday, Jan. 18: Martin Luther King Jr. Day (University closed) Tuesday, Jan. 19: Last day for registration/Last day to add or drop a class without a grade

MARCH Saturday, Mar. 6–Sunday, Mar. 14: Spring Break (no classes) Friday, Mar. 19: Last day to withdraw with a W Monday, Mar. 22: Graduation application deadline for Spring 2021

APRIL Thursday, Apr. 1: No Classes Friday, Apr. 2: Good Friday (University closed) Monday, Apr. 5: Registration opens for Fall 2021 Wednesday, Apr. 28: Last Day of Classes (LDOC) Thursday, Apr. 29: Reading Day Friday, Apr. 30: Final Exams begin

MAY Saturday, May 1–Thursday, May 6: Final Exams Friday, May 7 & Saturday, May 8: Commencement

All dates are subject to change. Please check the UNCW Academic Calendar online for the most accurate dates. collegiateparent.com/school/university-of-north-carolina-wilmington

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Campus Traditions and Events

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Convocation

Convocation marks the official beginning of the academic year. During this ceremonial event, new students will watch the unveiling of their class flag, view their Class of 2024 photo, and hear about UNCW’s academic expectations from the Chancellor, Provost, and faculty members.

Career Fair

Students and recent alumni from all majors meet with recruiters and hiring managers from local, regional, and national companies; including government agencies and non-profit organizations, who are excited to add a Seahawk to their team!

Full-time, part-time/seasonal, and internship opportunities are available. This event takes place bi-annually during the fall and spring semesters.

Dub Awards

Dub Awards is an awards celebration for all student organizations, which includes our fraternities and sororities.

Dub Idol

This American Idol-themed singing competition is sponsored

by Housing & Residence Life and occurs in the spring semester.

Fall Fest

Fall Fest features fun fall-themed activities including crafts, a free Halloween movie, and more!

Fall into the Dub

Beginning with move-in, a wide variety of events and activities are available to welcome new students and familiarize them with the UNCW community throughout their first semester. Spring Back into the Dub is held in the spring semester with similar events to welcome students back to campus.

UNC WILMINGTON

Festapalooza

ACE (Association for Campus Entertainment) hosts a yearly Last Day of Classes (LDOC) carnival-style celebration in April with live music, food, giveaways, and activities to celebrate the end of the school year!

Hawk It Out

This is a student dance and talent competition sponsored

by Housing & Residence Life during the fall semester.

Hawk-In

Hosted by ACE each spring, the Hawk-In is a 24-hour movie marathon in Lumina Theater. This thoughtfully curated marathon features movies ten years or older, and includes contests, meals, snacks, and fun! This event is made more exciting each year by the Hawk-in Challenge; if you stay for all 24 hours, you get a one-of-kind T-shirt!

(Virtual) Involvement Carnival

Begin your involvement journey and discover over 275+ student organizations including Fraternity & Sorority Life, Sports Club, Multicultural, and more. This is a great opportunity to meet student leaders and stay engaged with the UNCW community.

Late Night Breakfast

The perfect kick-off to our spring Homecoming Week!

Students gather at Wagoner for a full breakfast menu, served by faculty and staff! Take pictures with Sammy Seahawk, learn more about the week’s events, or participate in our annual Lip Sync Battle!

Leadership Lecture Series

The Leadership Lecture Series provides an exploration of leadership through stories and experiences shared by guest speakers. Students are invited to discuss and engage in political, cultural diversity, and economic issues as well as popular trends and topics that shape and affect their communities. The views expressed by our visiting artists, guests, or lecturers do not necessarily reflect the opinions of UNCW. Recent guests include Brandon Stanton, Bennett Omalu, Tarana Burke and Nyle DiMarco.

Spring Into Your Sophomore Year

Spring into Your Sophomore Year is an annual celebration held at the end of the academic year for first-year students marking the successful completion of their first year.

Student Leadership Conference

The purpose of the SLC is to make leadership within reach of every student. It is created for students, by students and held every fall semester.

Teal Tuesday

Teal is the only color to wear on Tuesday! Students, faculty, and staff show school spirit by wearing teal on Tuesdays.

Wagsgiving

Wagsgiving is a Thanksgiving-themed meal at Wagoner Dining Hall before students leave for Thanksgiving break.

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High School vs. College

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UNC WILMINGTON

Here are a few examples of important differences between high school and college to discuss with your student.

HIGH SCHOOL TeacherStudent Interactions

Classes

Studying

Assignments

•

Teachers typically approach students if they need help

•

Teachers are often available for conversations before, during, and after class

COLLEGE

•

Professors are usually open and helpful, but most expect the student to initiate contact if they need help

•

Professors expect (and want) students to attend their scheduled office hours or reach out via email

•

Classes typically have no more than 35 students

•

Classes may range from 15–100+ students in a lecture hall

•

Teachers carefully monitor class attendance

•

Professors may not formally take roll, but they still likely know whether or not students attended

•

Students may need to spend 1–2 hours per day completing homework or studying

•

Students need to study at least 2–3 hours outside of class for each hour in class

•

Students rely on listening in class and have limited reading assignments outside of class

•

Students need to take notes in class and review notes and other course materials regularly

•

Teachers remind students of due dates and incomplete work

•

•

Good homework grades may raise a student’s overall grades when test grades are low

Professors might go over due dates at the beginning of the semester and then rely on students to check the syllabus the rest of the time

•

Grades on tests and papers usually provide most of the course grade

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Conversation Conversation Starters are suggested questions to ask your student to check in with them throughout the academic year!

AUGUST:

How are you settling into your residence hall?

How was your first hall meeting?

Have you looked at the syllabus for each class?

What are your goals for the semester?

Have you introduced yourself to your instructors?

What are your plans for Labor Day weekend?

SEPTEMBER:

Do any of your courses offer Supplemental Instruction (S.I.)?

What class are you enjoying so far?

What class do you think is going to require the most work?

How can you start planning now to be successful later in the semester?

Have you visited the University Learning Center?

OCTOBER:

How have you gotten involved outside of the classroom?

How much time do you devote to studying each week?

What study strategies work best for you?

Have you scheduled an appointment with your advisor?

When do you register for spring classes?

What are your plans for Fall Break?

NOVEMBER:

What are you doing to stay healthy?

What assignments do you have before Thanksgiving Break?

Will you have school work to do over break?

Do you know your finals schedule (when/where)?

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UNC WILMINGTON

Starters DECEMBER:

How have you started preparing for final exams or projects?

Are you getting enough sleep, eating healthy foods, and exercising?

What are your plans for holiday break?

JANUARY:

Have you looked at the syllabus for each class?

What are your goals for the semester?

What classes are you enjoying so far? Why? What class do you think is going to require the most work?

FEBRUARY:

Are there weeks that are going to be particularly busy with tests, projects, or papers?

What did you learn last semester that could help you this semester?

What are your plans for Spring Break?

MARCH:

Have you scheduled a meeting with your advisor?

Which of your classes is turning out to be the biggest challenge?

Have you talked to the instructor for suggestions about how to improve your performance?

What assignments do you have before Spring Break?

APRIL:

What classes are you going to take in the fall?

What’s the most helpful thing an instructor has done to help you learn in a course?

What are your summer plans (internship, job, classes)?

Have you started preparing for final exams?

MAY:

Are you prepared for final exams or projects?

Are you getting enough sleep, eating healthy foods, and exercising?

When do you have to move out of the residence hall? collegiateparent.com/school/university-of-north-carolina-wilmington

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A

20

B

C

D

E

F

G

H 1

2

Academic Buildings Visitor Parking

3

Student Support Buildings Building Codes Information Construction

4

5

6

7

8

Building Administrative Annex Alderman Hall Almkuist-Nixon Sports Medicine Complex Bear Hall Belk Hall Burney Center Cameron Hall David S. Congdon Hall Cornerstone Hall Cultural Arts Building DeLoach Hall DePaolo Hall Dobo Hall Education Building Fisher Student Center Fisher University Union Friday Annex Friday Hall Galloway Hall Graham Hall Hewlett Hall Hoggard Hall Housing and Residence Life Innovation House James Hall Kenan Auditorium Kenan Hall Keystone Hall King Hall Leutze Hall McNeill Hall Morton Hall Osprey Hall Pelican Hall Randall Library Sandpiper Hall Schwartz Hall Seahawk Crossing Seahawk Landing Seahawk Village Seahawk Village Clubhouse Student Recreation Center Teaching Laboratory Building Trask Coliseum

Code Location AA H8 AL D8 SM F7 BR B6-7 BK E4 BU E6 CH C5 CG C5-6 CS B2 CA A4 DL B-C7 DE D7 DO C4 EB B4 FSC D6 FUU D6 FA B5 FR B5 GA F4 GR F4 HE F3 HO D7 HRL D2 IH B2 JA E8 KA B-C8 KE C7 KH B2 KI C7 LH C6 MC C3 MO C6 OH C5 PL E4 RL C7 SP E3 SZ D2 SC B3 SL A1-2 SV B-C1 SVC C2 SRC D3 TLB C3 TR E8

University Police Department

PD

F2

University Suites

US

D2

Wagoner Hall

WA

C2

Warwick Center

WC

E7

For a virtual tour visit uncw.edu/virtualtour collegiateparent.com/school/university-of-north-carolina-wilmington

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First Year of College

Wisdom

By Vicki Nelson

As a professor, I often feel I have so much I could share with new college students to help soften the blow of the adjustment — if they would just listen to me. But students don’t always heed the advice of their professors. However, they do listen to other students — they’re interested in the wisdom of those just a step or two ahead of them.

As the last academic year wound down, I sat down with a group of eight firstyear students as they reflected on their experiences. I asked each of them one question: “What will you do differently next year?” Their responses showed a firm desire to build on lessons learned.

Time Management Marcus was quick to say he knew exactly what he needed to do differently next year: manage his time better. He’s a good student, but just assuming he’d find the time to get things done meant he was 22

always worrying about his projects and assignments and still sometimes missed deadlines. First on his list for sophomore year is to buy a good planner — and use it to sketch out when assignments are due and what he will do when.

THE ADJUSTMENT TO COLLEGE

Discipline Matthew used a planner and put his assignments in it faithfully. What he didn’t always do was follow through with his commitments. His calendar said it was time to study for an upcoming test, but he found all sorts of other things to do instead. This fall he’s going to discipline himself to stick to his plans.

Sleep Stefan also knew right away what he he wanted to change: his sleep habits.

Freshman year, it was hard to stick to a schedule in the noisy residence hall. He struggled with assignments when he felt groggy from lack of sleep and missed more than a few early morning classes. To get more Zzz’s, he plans to buy noisecanceling headphones and consistently go to bed at a reasonable time.

Procrastination Shari tended to procrastinate and also to underestimate how much time assignments would take. All her work was harder and more time-consuming than it had been in high school. She’d had to ask for too many extensions on projects and had taken too many tests feeling unprepared. As a sophomore, she intends to start things earlier to avoid all that last minute panic.

Join In As a freshman, James was so worried about getting his work done that he turned down chances to join clubs and participate in intramural sports. James loves basketball and wishes he’d joined the campus newspaper so he could write about sports. He plans to sign up for a few things this fall so he can get to know people who share his interests.

Self-Care Hillary had some academic struggles as a freshman, often because she had trouble staying focused. She is determined this year to take better care of herself — especially by working to shut out all of the drama that can happen with roommates and with other students’ problems. Her summer plan was to learn more about meditation so she can use it to calm her thoughts and distance herself from everyone else’s high emotions.

Lists During the first year of college, Austin often felt overwhelmed by everything he had to do — both inside and outside of the classroom. He had a planner for big assignments, but it was the little things that got past him because he was trying to hold them in his head. He wasn’t sure whether he’ll keep lists on paper or in an app on his phone — just so long as he gets all of the to-do’s out of his head and together in one place.

Balance Unlike James, Marisol got involved on campus — maybe to a fault. She’s a strong student and managed to keep up her grades even while participating in several clubs, hosting a radio show, and saying yes to the many requests to get involved in special projects. She wants to learn to say “no” — not to everything, but enough to be selective. She recognizes that doing less will let her enjoy what she does do even more.

T his is first-year wisdom straight from first-year experiences. Eight students with eight ideas that will make a difference for their success.

collegiateparent.com/school/university-of-north-carolina-wilmington

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An RA’s Best Tips for

Helping Roommates Get Along

By Cambria Pilger

Whether your student chose their roommate or is rooming with someone they never met, it can be intimidating to live in an unfamiliar place, away from home and surrounded by new people. Some first-year roommates become best friends, from day one of college through graduation. Others just try to get through the year (and hope they score a single room as a sophomore).

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THE ADJUSTMENT TO COLLEGE

My own personal experience fell in the middle. I got along with my freshman roommate but we didn’t interact a lot outside of our room and that was fine.

I decided to apply to be a Resident Assistant (RA) for sophomore year because I wanted to be challenged in my relationships, organize fun and creative events, and support the students living in my hall. I learned a lot as an RA and am happy to share my insights!

A roommate agreement is easy — and essential.

Most schools pair roommates based on common interests, but even in the best matches there’s room for conflict. Not surprisingly, living, sleeping and studying a few feet away from another person can lead to irritation and misunderstanding.

Perhaps one roommate doesn’t clean their half of the room, stays up super late in the room talking to friends, or never actually leaves the room.

In these situations, one of the best tools students can turn to is a roommate agreement. The object is to lay out, early on, the rules each person wants to have for the room. How late is too late to have friends over? Are roommates allowed to borrow each other’s stuff? If one person has a complaint about the other, how should they communicate it (tell them, write a note, etc.)?

Whenever I was called in to help roommates work through an issue, one of my first questions was whether it was covered by their roommate agreement.

If there was a clear violation, we could use the agreement as a starting point to resolve the conflict.

Take Kate and Emily. At the start of the year, they discussed their sleep routines and found that they both went to bed

around 10. They agreed they’d be quiet if one of them stayed up later than the other.

However, as the weeks passed, Kate’s sleep schedule shifted. She stayed up late studying or hanging out with friends in the room when Emily was trying to sleep.

All I had to do was draw their attention to the roommate agreement. Kate and Emily talked it over and decided that, if either one of them stayed up later than the other, they should do so in one of the lounges or study rooms and respect their roommate’s sleep time.

Who is your student’s neutral support person?

Building relationships early in college is key. When a problem comes up, whether big or small, it’s helpful for students to have someone to talk to outside the situation. Maybe it’s an older student they know from a club or team, an athletic coach, or a teaching assistant in one of their classes who’s become a mentor.

They can turn to this person to share what they’re going through, unload some of their emotions, and brainstorm a solution.

One of my hall residents relied on me in this way. Adam got along with his roommate most of the time, but when they did fight or argue, he’d come to me to talk through the situation and get a new perspective on it. I could offer a listening ear and advice without getting personally involved.

Luckily, in my hall I didn’t have to intervene too many times because students resolved their problems on their own — and this was ideal. Although as an RA I was there to support and guide residents (and if a problem was serious, I was ready to step in), my job was to empower them to defuse conflict on their own rather than referee every squabble.

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My top recommendations for dealing with residence life and roommate challenges: 1. Use the resources.

There are so many, from residence life leadership and student success programs to faculty and staff support, friends and family. Especially during the first year, encourage your student to take advantage of these resources to work through uncertainty or conflict.

2. Make a connection.

Your student and their roommate may be very different people, with different habits and backgrounds. Finding things they have in common will help them strengthen their relationship and be more comfortable living with one another.

3. Talk honestly about disagreements.

Your student shouldn’t be afraid to talk to their roommate. After all, this is new territory for both of them. The flip side of this is being open to criticism or feedback from the roommate. A willingness to listen needs to come from both sides.

4. Don’t fume silently.

Address issues promptly instead of ignoring them. This could mean talking to the RA to design an action plan, being straight-up with their roommate about how they feel and suggesting a compromise, or learning to accept things as they are.

5. Know that there is never a single solution.

Every student and situation is unique. Remembering this is always the first step to solving problems and keeping peace with one’s roommate.

Roommate Agreements My university’s Residence Life department passes out roommate agreements. If your student’s school doesn’t, they and their roommate can create one by discussing what’s important to them or use a template like this: images.collegexpress. com/article/roommateagreement3.jpg. Rules may need to evolve as the year goes on, so your student and their roomie should be ready to revisit this conversation.

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Finding Community

on Campus

By Kelli Ruhl

To thrive instead of just survive, college students need to find community. Community is a friend or a group of friends who feel like home — who allow your student to grow into the person they want to become, and stand beside them throughout their college years and beyond.

All new freshmen want to make friends but it doesn’t happen overnight. To find your people, you have to put yourself out there.

In my case, it took a whole semester (and a firm nudge from my parents) to find a group of close friends at my large public university. The first few months on campus, in a new place without the circle of friends I’d grown up with, I felt adrift. Seeing this, my parents pushed me to check out The Annex, a college ministry that my older brother had attended, and to sign up for an Annex service trip to Costa Rica.

Despite my reservations — as in I didn’t know a single person on the trip! — 28

I gave it a shot. That decision changed my life. On that trip I found my community.

Your newly independent first-year student is in the driver’s seat now, able to make their own choices about how to spend their time outside of the classroom. They are no longer limited to the experiences and personalities of their hometown, or the high school pressure to blend in. In college, they get to celebrate what makes them unique.

If your student isn’t sure where to start on the road to building community, here are some options worth checking out.

THE ADJUSTMENT TO COLLEGE Social and Cultural Identity Groups These are a great way for students to engage with individuals of similar backgrounds or lifestyles. The University of California Santa Cruz, for example, has a large selection of student-run groups, including chapters of the Sikh Student Association; Prism: Student Coalition for Gender, Sex, & Sexuality; Iranian Student Association; College Diabetes Network; Black Student Union; Hermanas Unidas; and Hmong Student Association among many, many others. No matter your student’s unique identity, they can find a place to embrace it among peers, and many of these groups welcome allies and host campus-wide activities.

Intramural and Club Sports For serious (and not-so-serious!) athletes, intramural and club sports are a fantastic way to meet people and feel part of a tight-knit group. Intramural sports provide a range of men’s, women’s and coed team and individual activities. Club sports are a more competitive option for those who want to compete at the local, intercollegiate, regional or even national level.

Student Clubs and Organizations

be expensive, but they often pay off in the long run. Alumni look out for their brothers and sisters, which translates into prime networking opportunities for graduates.

Beyond finding a group of close friends, it’s also important for students to get involved with their campus community as a whole.

Cheering at games, attending events or getting involved in volunteer work are fun ways for your student to feel like they are truly a part of their school.

Volunteer and Social Justice Opportunities Suggest that your student explore the college’s website for opportunities to volunteer in the community or sign up for an “alternative break” trip (these may be local projects over shorter breaks, or involve travel to other parts of the U.S. or even abroad).

Intercollegiate Athletics Sporting events are a prime place to meet people, and also the perfect way to foster team spirit and feel connected to their school and their classmates.

No matter what sparks your student’s interest, there is likely a club that caters to it. From school publications and student government to groups centered around chess, creative writing, entrepreneurship, yoga, bee-keeping, fashion, mathematics and more, there truly is something for everyone.

Campus Events and Performances

Sororities and Fraternities

A Class in a New Academic Area

Students looking for a truly immersive social experience may want to look into Greek life if there are chapters on their campus. These “brotherhoods” and “sisterhoods” involve communal living, secret handshakes and social calendars chock-full of parties, meetings, philanthropic events and bonding experiences. Sororities and fraternities can

As your student digs into their major, there should still be time to take a few classes just for the joy of discovery. Cheer them on as they embrace the challenge of moving outside their intellectual comfort zone. The bonus: a chance to meet classmates they might not otherwise cross paths with.

Calendars boasting a wealth of schoolaffiliated events, from concerts and lectures to art and photography exhibits, can be found on the college website.

Encourage your student to check the calendar every week or two to see what sparks their interest.

collegiateparent.com/school/university-of-north-carolina-wilmington

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What to Expect

After the College Drop-Off

By Marlene Kern Fischer

You’ve imagined it countless times in your head, and now it’s a reality.

After all the planning and shopping, packing and unpacking, your student is officially a college freshman.

You’ve moved them into their residence hall, said your goodbyes and shed a few (or more than a few) tears. What happens next?!

This will be my third (and last) go ‘round as the parent of a college freshman.

So, though it will be my first experience returning to an empty nest, I do know what it’s like to drop off your child at college and head home.

I can tell you that it feels odd to depart with one fewer family member in your midst — kind of the opposite of when you gave birth and came home from the hospital with an additional person.

After I left my two older sons, I waited breathlessly for a text or call. And waited and waited. Even though communication was never their strong suit, I was still surprised I didn’t hear from them. I wanted — no, needed — to hear how they were doing, and they didn’t provide much information.

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I found out that this is normal. You may hear a lot from your student, or you may hear very little. If you are in the “very little” category, don’t worry; know that your student is navigating a new environment, meeting new people, figuring out their academic schedule, adjusting to having a roommate, etc. In other words, they have a ton going on, and calling you may not be their first priority. If I was lucky, I received brief (sometimes one word) replies to my texts. More often, there was silence. With great difficulty, I squelched my desire to reach out all the time; I knew it was best to leave them be for a while.

One thing more difficult than a lack of communication: the phone calls and texts I got when they had a problem or were unhappy. Those caught me off guard because, by the end of the summer, my sons had seemed so ready to leave. I wasn’t always sure what to say when

A NEW PERSPECTIVE ON PARENTING

they were upset, but learned that just listening and offering emotional support was the best course of action. Keeping the lines of communication open and letting your student know you’re there for them despite the physical distance is the best you can do. Parents of other first-year students may be reluctant to share that their offspring are also going through a period of homesickness and adjustment.

However, I can assure you there is a settling in period for everyone.

You may also be wondering how you’ll stay close now that you don’t live under the same roof. The bottom line is you’re not going to know what they’re up to at any given moment (and you wouldn’t always want to). But that doesn’t mean you can’t still be an integral part of each other’s lives.

Family group texts, funny short emails that could include photos of a pet (a cheap but effective trick), and little care packages are all ways to stay connected. We tried to have a set time to speak with our sons by phone but it wasn’t carved in stone and often the day and hour would roll around and they just weren’t available to talk.

On that note, dropping your student at college is a bit like leaving them in a foreign country with its own time zone.

Scheduling conversations can be difficult.

My oldest once called home at 1 a.m. to

chat and I was like, “Are you kidding me?!”

He’d somehow forgotten that my bedtime was several hours earlier. Even if I allowed for the one-hour difference between St. Louis where he was and New York where I was, that hour just wasn’t going to work.

I wanted to talk to him, just not when I was half conscious.

You may have concerns about your student’s well-being — parents of 18-yearolds have all seen their occasional lapses in judgment first-hand. Know that the lessons you have taught your child and the values you instilled in them have impacted who they have become. My husband and I were happy to discover that, for the most part, it appeared our boys had been listening to us all those years (even when we thought they weren’t). In other words, despite the likelihood that they will make some mistakes, your student will be okay. You did a good job. Now it’s time to trust them.

I’ll leave you with this: as you journey home, whether to a house that still contains other children or an empty one, the new normal will take time to get used to. The future will be a constantly shifting kaleidoscope of your students leaving and returning and leaving again. But the ties which bind you will remain, strong and enduring.

collegiateparent.com/school/university-of-north-carolina-wilmington

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Survival Guide for

By Suzanne Shaffer

New College Parents

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The start of my daughter’s college career was a mix of excitement, frustration and panic…and those were just my emotions. After 18 years of doing my best to raise a responsible adult, I wasn’t so sure she would act like one — or so sure I was ready to let her try. College requires a new approach to parenting. Here is what I learned and recommend to you.

Embrace your changing role.

The day-to-day responsibility of meeting all your student’s needs now gives way to listening and advising (with a heavy emphasis on the former). Fear not: you are sure to get the occasional phone call with a ridiculous question (“How many degrees is a fever and what did you used to give me to make me feel better?”) reminding you that they still rely on you.

Don’t expect overnight adulthood.

No matter their maturity level, all freshmen need time to get the hang of their new responsibilities. Be patient. As they figure out how to study, write college-level papers, keep an eye on their bank balance, make new friends, detach from those friends if they turn out to be unsuitable, and so much more, they will drop balls and make mistakes. It’s a process.

Anticipate some academic struggle.

When my daughter, a former straight-A student, got B’s and C’s on her first papers and tests, she was crushed. I encouraged her to take advantage of tutoring, writing labs and study groups and to meet with professors to ask for help. It takes a term or two to adjust to the college curriculum, work load and testing style and to figure out what’s important to study out of all the reading material and lecture notes. Grades will almost always improve.

Resist the urge to race to the rescue.

Emory University psychology professor Marshall Duke has addressed family 32

members at the university’s new student orientation for three decades. If and when your student calls home with a dilemma, Duke recommends moving “like your feet are stuck in molasses.”

Remind your student of the resources available on campus and express your confidence in their ability to handle things.

In my experiences with both my son and daughter, they almost always just needed to vent and talk through the situation.

They weren’t looking for me to solve their problems; they simply wanted a listening ear and advice if asked.

Dealing with homesickness.

Even students who proclaimed, “I can’t WAIT to get out of this house and on my own!” will be homesick at some point. Resist the temptation to bring them home for the weekends. Students need to adjust to the campus culture, make a few friends and find activities to occupy their free time.

The feelings usually pass after the first few months so, even though your heart will break a bit, give your student a chance to work through those feelings on their own.

Register for Family Weekend!

If there is a fall Family Weekend at your student’s school, make plans to attend if you can. It’s something for both of you to look forward to. Having that date on the calendar will help them during bouts of homesickness, and knowing it won’t be long until you’re reunited and both get some much-needed hugs will help you overcome the urge to over-parent.

A NEW PERSPECTIVE ON PARENTING

When They Return

Home for Break

By Connie Lissner

I remember when my oldest was coming home for the summer after freshman year in college. I was positively giddy. I could not wait to have the whole family under one roof again. We could talk for more than 10 minutes on Sundays! We could eat together as a family!

Things could finally go back to normal.

After he was home for a couple of days, it was clear that “normal” had a new definition.

Following months of being on his own and doing things “his way” (a phrase I heard at least 20 times a day), my newly returned college student bucked against our family life. Sleep was on his time (i.e., not when the rest of us tended to sleep), meals were often eaten out with friends, and hanging out with his family was not a priority.

Of course, he wasn’t the only one who needed to readjust. When he first left for college, I thought I’d never get used to his empty bedroom or setting the table for three instead of four. Shockingly, however, I did. I also adjusted to less laundry,

smaller grocery bills and a significant reduction in noise in our house.

I’m not embarrassed to say that I seriously considered sending him away after the first two weeks. I didn’t think we’d ever figure out a way to co-exist. Thankfully, we were able to negotiate a happy truce for the remainder of that summer.

I learned a lot from that experience (although I admit I still expect a seamless transition every time my son returns home, and am always shocked when it doesn’t happen). Still, after three years, I’ve developed a “survival plan” that seems to work. So far I haven’t shipped him off, and I haven’t fled my house either. We must be doing something right.

collegiateparent.com/school/university-of-north-carolina-wilmington

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√ Here Are My Top T ips! ∆ 1

Set ground rules early.

Don’t wait until you explode to share your expectations with your returning student.

Take curfew, for instance. I can guarantee that they will balk at having one. Their argument will go something like this: “You didn’t stay up all night worrying about where I was when I was at school” (little do they know, right?). But maybe you want them home at a reasonable hour so you can sleep without being woken at 3 a.m. by someone making a grilled cheese.

Whatever you expect of your student — chores, family commitments, attitudes — address this early and often.

2

Recognize that reentry will always require some adjustment.

Things will be different every time your student comes home. Even after three years of summer breaks, winter breaks and occasional weekends, the first couple days are always awkward at our house. Everyone is navigating the new setup and trying really hard not to start a fight (well, almost everyone).

3

Respect the evolving sibling dynamic.

Maybe your middle child is reveling in the new role of older sibling, or your solo younger child is enjoying their space. With the return of your college student, family dynamics will shift, and new conflicts are bound to pop up. For instance, my youngest, who used to follow his older brother everywhere, now found him in the way. Their bickering was non-stop, and I was forced to play referee over things as ridiculous as who got the middle kitchen counter stool.

Eventually they settled into their new roles.

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4

Be flexible.

5

Negotiate what you are willing to do for them.

6

Be prepared to see less of your student than you might like.

Sure it’s your house, your rules, but remember that your student has been managing life without you (no matter how many times a day they text). You want to encourage that independence. Now is the time to let go — just a little.

Will you do their laundry? Cook every meal? Yes, my son knows how to do laundry, but I personally prefer to have all the laundry done at once, and I don’t want my laundry washed like a college student washes their laundry. I also enjoy cooking, so making dinner for everyone isn’t a problem for me. Three meals a day, on the other hand, is not an option (no matter how much my son tries to sweet talk me into making him lunch).

Toss aside dreams of regular family dinners, game nights and late night talks around the kitchen counter (yes, those were my dreams). Schedule an occasional mandatory family dinner and squeeze in a game or movie whenever an opportunity presents itself (it may be a quick hand of Gin Rummy on a rainy Saturday afternoon). Seize any chance to chat in the kitchen even if that means that you’re awake and willing to make that post-midnight grilled cheese sandwich.

A NEW PERSPECTIVE ON PARENTING

7

Enjoy the spontaneous moments.

I had a bucket list of things we were going to do that first summer, and I think I checked off one item. I spent so much time trying to plan activities that I missed many of the little moments I could have shared with my son. Once I realized it was a lost cause, I chucked my list and started enjoying the found time between us.

Which brings me to a key point...

8

Don’t put your own life on hold.

While you’re making lists of things to do together, don’t forget to pen in time to do your own thing. I know I’m not the only parent who waits around on the off chance that my kid might want to grab lunch or run a few errands with me. I have a friend who

passed up a girls’ trip because she wanted to be around for her daughter’s last day home over spring break — just in case.

Turns out her daughter didn’t even come home that break. She went away with her friends instead! So don’t blow off that yoga class, Sunday morning bike ride, or dinner with friends. And don’t feel guilty about it either.

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Most importantly, marvel at the new person your young adult has become.

Whatever expectations I have of who is coming through my door at the end of the school year, I am always a little surprised by who actually shows up.

Maybe it’s because of a class he’s taken, a new friend he’s met or a new experience he’s had, but every time my son comes home he is a little different, a little more his own person. And that really is something to look forward to.

collegiateparent.com/school/university-of-north-carolina-wilmington

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Important

Health Conversations

to Have with Your Student

By CollegiateParent

In college, probably for the first time, your student will be wholly responsible for taking care of their own physical and emotional wellbeing.

For that reason, the most important health conversations you can have with them are ones where you encourage them to make wellness a priority in their daily lives, to familiarize themselves with health support resources on campus, and to always feel comfortable reaching out to you when they have a concern or just need a little advice.

Revisit health-related topics each and every time you see or chat with your student.

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1st

Make sure they know how health insurance works.

Go over their coverage (whether they’re signed up for the school’s health plan or are still covered by your family insurance plan) and how and where to access services. Will they use the campus health center for all their needs, or go there just for the easy/free stuff (flu shots, treatment for minor illnesses like colds) and see a provider or specialist in the local community?

MORE WAYS TO SUPPORT WELLNESS AND SUCCESS

2nd

Review the resources that are available on campus.

They’ll receive a lot of information at orientation and during move-in/welcome week, but it can be overwhelming. If you look at the website, you’ll be able to nudge them to explore what’s offered at the student health clinic and counseling/ mental health center. Your student will find online informational materials, classes and workshops, and drop-in support groups related to pretty much every wellness issue under the sun:

• •

Nutrition and body positivity

• • •

Alcohol education

Sexual health, gender identity, relationships

Stress and anxiety management Conflict resolution skills

Don’t forget about religious and spiritual life opportunities, and fitness classes and recreational facilities at the campus gym.

3rd

Go over what to do if they get sick.

Your student should have a first aid kit with a thermometer and basic overthe-counter remedies for self-care. Talk through some possible scenarios, ranging from how to treat a cold to how to know if it’s something more serious like the flu.

Remind them that if symptoms (sore throat, fever, vomiting, headache, etc.) linger for days without improvement, they should definitely visit the campus health center — but they don’t have to suffer in silence if they just want to get checked out and have their mind put at ease.

Since colleges are bound by a federal law called FERPA (the Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act), which governs the privacy of student educational and treatment records, you won’t know if or when your student visits the campus health and counseling clinics. It’s up to your student to decide whether to share information with you, which is something else the two of you can discuss early on.

Talk to your student about responsible drinking.

Most families have strict rules about drinking in high school, but in college an “abstinence only” policy may not be practical. National surveys show that 9 out of 10 college students experiment with alcohol, 7 out of 10 drink regularly, and 3 out of 10 will be problem drinkers.

This doesn’t mean parents should feel helpless. Instead, by being proactive and talking regularly with your student about the campus party scene, their experiences with alcohol and what it means to drink responsibly, you can continue to have a positive influence.

Educating your student about responsible drinking isn’t the same as encouraging or endorsing underage drinking. Instead, when you teach your student about how alcohol works in the body, the importance of protecting their cup and sticking with friends at parties, and how to recognize when it’s time to exit a situation or call for help, you’re emphasizing health, safety and self-advocacy.

These conversations require that you know your facts, be honest and open-minded, and most of all, be ready to listen. Read the complete article: collegiateparent.com/wellness/talk-about-responsible-drinking.

collegiateparent.com/school/university-of-north-carolina-wilmington

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Supporting Mental Health

— A Checklist for Families

By Stephanie Pinder-Amaker, Ph.D. and Active Minds Awareness and open lines of communication — with family members, professors/instructors, coaches and friends — can go a long way toward making sure no student struggles alone. Check out these tips on how to empower and support your new college student.

Prepare your student.

It’s very likely that your student, or one of their roommates or friends, will experience a mental health issue while at college. Prepare your student by talking about mental health on a regular basis. Review together what campus resources are available if they’re ever in a position to help a friend. By maintaining a dialogue, you’ll help them feel comfortable coming to you with questions and problems without fear of being judged.

Scope out services and have a plan.

All students, but particularly those who have already experienced mental health issues, should have a plan in place in case things get too difficult to handle. Call or make an appointment with the campus mental health or counseling center to learn what services are available.

If your student is already in the care of a psychiatrist or psychologist, make plans to continue that care with a clinician close to campus. (The campus mental health center may keep a list of convenient off-campus providers who work well with students.) Your student should have regular check-ins with a professional to monitor any changes. They can also preregister with the Accessible Education Center to access helpful accommodations.

Stay in touch.

Make time for regular conversations in addition to texting your student. It’s easier to hear in their voice when something is bothering them. Facetime and Skype

can be even better. Keep an eye out for symptoms of depression (including sadness), anxiety, hopelessness, irritability, restlessness, sleep difficulties, loss of appetite, suicidal thoughts, unexplained aches and pains, and tearfulness. A sudden drop in academic performance can be another sign that support is needed.

Check in about self-care.

The importance of a healthy diet, adequate sleep and regular exercise can’t be overstated, particularly as they relate to overall mental health. Help your student connect self-care with emotional stability — ask them how they feel when they eat well or when they sleep poorly.

Forget stigma.

If your student is experiencing mental health issues, prioritize getting help over the fear of tarnishing their transcript or reputation. Some students will need time off from school to recover and get back on track. Each college has its own policy about granting medical leave — you can contact the Dean of Students office to find out the procedure for taking a temporary leave of absence.

Allow mistakes.

Perfection is not a realistic goal and it’s important to let your student know that you support them no matter what. Mistakes and failure are an unavoidable part of life and we can learn from them. A perfect GPA isn’t worth it if it comes at the expense of your student’s emotional well-being.

If you feel your student needs immediate help, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or text “BRAVE” to 741-741 for free 24/7 confidential support.

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collegiateparent.com/school/university-of-north-carolina-wilmington

39

Choosing a Major

6 Tips for Guiding Your Student

By Amy Baldwin, Ed.D.

Every parent wants their student to find their “calling” and click with a major that will help pave the way to a career. Students want that, too! But the process of declaring a major can be scary as well as exhilarating. “Am I making the right choice?” they wonder anxiously.

“Will I be able to find a job after graduation?” And then there is the classic question from well-meaning family and friends. “What are you going to do with that?”

For students whose majors are clear pathways to careers (think nursing, or accounting), the last question can be answered easily. However, for undecided students worried not only about choosing the “right” major but also about how their degree will prepare them for employment someday, the question can increase their self-doubt. And with self-doubt comes even more anxiety.

Luckily, there are stress-reducing ways to support and guide students who are at this juncture.

Relax.

No need to make this experience more traumatic than it already is. Remember that it’s normal for the journey from major to career to twist and turn. Make an effort to keep things in perspective and you’ll be able to share this attitude with your student.

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Have them reflect on their past to figure out their future.

One of the best strategies to use with college students is to encourage them to reflect on what they liked when they were younger, what they did in their spare time for fun, and what activities they participated in and why. Their past holds clues about the kinds of majors that might interest them.

For example, someone who counseled their friends through difficult times may find themselves interested in psychology or social work. An athlete might gravitate to sports management…or sports medicine.

MORE WAYS TO SUPPORT WELLNESS AND SUCCESS Encourage them to focus on what they want to learn, not what sounds good.

The best way to erase self-doubt is to find a subject they like and that will help them build transferable skills. Ask what kinds of classes interest them the most and which classes challenge them to think and grow.

Their answers should give them an idea of what they want to spend several years studying. A student who says they want to major in business “so my parents will leave me alone” is not a student who will be happy for long with their choice.

Suggest they compare degree plans and course descriptions.

Reading through the college’s course catalog is another way to narrow their choices. (The course catalog and degree requirements can be found on the school’s website.) If your student is choosing between economics and education, for example, suggest they read through the degree requirements (is there an internship requirement? a foreign language requirement?) to see which plan appeals to them more. Have them browse the course descriptions as well. They will

spend a lot of time in their major courses and should be intrigued by the topics that await them in that department.

Remind them to speak regularly with an academic advisor and also a career counselor.

The academic advisor will help them navigate the process of completing a degree, and the career counselor can help them develop a plan to translate what they’re learning to workplace needs. Meeting with both throughout college can keep your student on track and help them make any needed adjustments along the way.

Suggest they interview recent college graduates.

Some of the best advice about college majors comes from recent graduates. New graduates are likely to tell your student that in general the skills they acquired in college (e.g., critical thinking, written communication, appreciation for diversity) are more important than the content knowledge they gained from their major.

At the very least, their advice may lower the pressure to make a “right choice.”

What if my student wants to change their major?

Students change majors for a variety of reasons and it is perfectly normal. In some surveys as many as 80% of students have switched majors at least once.* But it can still be worrisome to parents, who wonder if their student will be able to graduate on time. In addition to discussing what led them to this new direction (was it a single fabulous course or professor? a new career goal?), here are a few questions you can ask to help your studentmake the best decision:

• How many additional courses do you need to take? The earlier the change is made, the less likely your student will need to take lots of additional courses.

• Will you need to take more credit hours per term or take summer classes to stay on track? In some cases, an additional course per term or a couple of classes during the summer may be all that’s needed to graduate in four years.

• What other requirements does the new degree plan include? Some degree plans require internships or practicums that must be taken into consideration. As always when working toward a degree, your student should consult with an academic advisor to ensure they are completing required courses in the right sequence.

www.insidehighered.com/news/2016/08/24/study-finds-students-benefit-waiting-declare-major

*

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Eye Budget $ Bu

Keep an on the

One of the biggest challenges outside the classroom for students adjusting to college life is learning to manage money.

They’re suddenly responsible for paying for all sorts of things on their own, from textbooks and groceries to laundry (you hope) and maybe an occasional haircut.

With the convenience of buying and ordering stuff with a smartphone or debit card, it can be easy to let little purchases add up to a financial headache.

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By Suzanne Shaffer and CollegiateParent

The parent’s role? Help your student make a budget and keep an eye on the money going in and out of their bank account.

Printable budget worksheets are easy to find online, including on your bank’s website, and there are many good smartphone budgeting apps, too — Mint is a favorite.

The Fall Term Spending Money Budget If you didn’t do this before the start of the school year, take time now to make a list with your student of their likely flexible/ recreational expenses (everything besides tuition, room, board and student fees — although if they’ll contribute to these, put them in the budget as well).

MORE WAYS TO SUPPORT WELLNESS AND SUCCESS

Flexible expenses can include:

Textbooks Clothing Electronics and school supplies Toiletries and other personal items Dorm furnishings Laundry money Food/drink outside of the meal plan Entertainment Local travel (bus pass, Uber trips) Recreational travel and trips home Sorority/fraternity or club dues

Next, estimate how much each item will be and agree on who’s paying for what, taking your student’s income into consideration.

Their income will come from their savings, any earnings from a campus job (if they will work), and possibly an allowance from you.

Make it a goal for your student to maintain a certain level of savings.

Be sure to discuss how peer pressure can cause students to overspend. Your student may need to say no sometimes to an activity or purchase that a roommate or friend doesn’t think twice about. On this subject, be clear up front about what will happen if your student doesn’t stay within their budget (in case they assume you’ll automatically bail them out).

Fall term will involve some experimentation.

Your student may find it easy to stay within their budget or end up running short each month. Over winter break, you can look back together at the experience and help them revise their budget for spring term based on what they learned. *

A comprehensive study published by NASPA, “First-Year Students’ Employment, Engagement, and Academic Achievement: Untangling the Relationship Between Work and Grades” by G.R. Pike, G.D. Kuh and R.C. Massa-McKinley, is often cited and its findings have held up over time.

The Perks of Campus Employment A great way to balance income and spending is to get a campus job. College students who work part-time during the school year get better grades than those who don’t,* probably because they need to be more focused, organized and conscientious about budgeting time for study.

Finding a job in the local community is always an option, but on-campus positions have special advantages. The hours are usually flexible, and supervisors will accommodate your student’s schedule.

Student employees meet more of their fellow students as well as more faculty members, administrators and staff — a great network for career mentorship, professional references and all-around support.

If federal work study is part of your student’s financial aid package, they can research and apply for available workstudy positions, but there are usually plenty of campus jobs to go around for any student who wants one. Departments that hire students may include the admissions and alumni offices, recreation center, library, dining facilities, bookstore, museums and art galleries, language and computer labs, and performance spaces.

Parent Perspective: If your student is offered work study, it’s worth doing even as an incoming freshman. Work-study jobs provide useful job application and interview practice. I was impressed by how many off-campus options there were.

My daughter ended up being offered several positions and was able to pick one at a non-profit closely allied to her interests. She has gained enormously in skills and confidence. That internship looks likely to lead to a summer job this year. All in all, a great experience!

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Building Career-Ready Skills The Importance of Internships in College

By Suzanne Shaffer

College without internships is like cereal without milk, chocolate without peanut butter, the perfect dress without the perfect shoes. My daughter would be the first to agree with this statement. During college, several paid and unpaid internships helped her decide on a career path and make contacts who could assist her in finding a job after graduation.

According to one of the nation’s leading job search platforms, ZipRecruiter1, an internship is an ideal way for students to:

•

Apply what they learn in the classroom

• • • • •

Discover what they do and don’t like Network with the right people Get experience employers want Develop their personal identity Transition to a full-time position

With all the competition for jobs after graduation along with the valuable lessons they’ll learn, your student can’t afford to ignore the importance of internships.

How do internships work?

The purpose of an internship is to provide a meaningful learning opportunity for the student. The company or organization also

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benefits because they can supplement their workforce with students, some of whom may eventually become permanent hires. Internships sometimes include what seem like menial tasks, but those tasks help students gather information about the job and/or industry — and are also a practical reminder that we all start out on the ground floor, as beginners.

Interns are student employees. Internships may be paid or unpaid and the student may or may not receive academic credit.

Sometimes an internship connects very directly with a student’s college coursework. Before starting, a student will be informed of the particulars of the internship and specific learning objectives related to the experience.

Where do students find internships?

The campus career center is a primary source for locating internships.

Most colleges and universities post

MORE WAYS TO SUPPORT WELLNESS AND SUCCESS

According to the NACE survey, 50 percent of employers would like to see an internship on your student’s resume. opportunities in the career office and online (your student may need their campus account to access the listings).

The career center can also help your student with internship-related tasks: resumes, cover letters and interview tips.

Internships also offer these benefits:

Another source for internship possibilities will be professors in your student’s area of interest. Professors maintain connections with companies and professionals in their field of expertise and will often recommend a student if they hear of a position. This is a good reason for your student to cultivate strong relationships with professors.

Your student can also check online internship databases like Internships.com, Wayup.com and YouTern.com. While online, they can search LinkedIn where companies often post internship opportunities. (If they don’t have a LinkedIn account, now’s the time to create one!)

Why are internships important?

An internship complements your student’s classroom learning while giving them valuable work experience. But there are other reasons your student should strongly consider adding an internship to their college credentials. According to a 2019 Internship and Co-op Report2 conducted by the National Association of Colleges and Employers (NACE): Employers had success converting their interns from the Class of 2018 into fulltime, entry-level hires. The conversion rate for this group of interns is 56.1 percent, which is more than 10 percent higher than last year and has reached its highest level since 2016.

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The opportunity to “try on” a career before applying for and accepting a “real” job

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A chance to identify areas where they may need to take additional classes related to their career interests before graduation

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The advantage of making important networking contacts at the company where they intern

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Higher starting salaries based on career-specific work experience

How can parents help?

Your key role in this process is to serve as a mentor or advisor, offering guidance but allowing your student to take the lead.

It’s appropriate to proofread resumes and cover letters, share internship prospects you find or hear about, and discuss their career and professional goals. Do not under any circumstances compose their resume and cover letter, apply for an internship on their behalf, or follow up on communication with a potential employer.

You can also be a cheerleader when (not if) your student encounters disappointment while applying for internships. They may need to apply for 10 or 12 before landing one!

Your student is embarking on their own unique academic and professional journey. Internships should be a central part of their college experience, helping them not only to secure employment after graduation but also have confidence that the job they choose will fit their personal and career goals. ziprecruiter.com/blog/why-intern-in-college naceweb.org/job-market/internships/convertinginterns-co-ops-into-full-time-hires-on-the-rise 1 2

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Meet Our Writers Active Minds is the nation’s premier Stephanie Pindernonprofit organization supporting mental Amaker, Ph.D. is director of the health awareness and education for students.

With a presence on ore than 600 campuses benefiting 5.4+ million students, Active Minds empowers students to create supportive communities, connect peers to resources, and take action for suicide prevention.

Explore helpful resources at activeminds.org.

Amy Baldwin, Ed.D. is

the Director of Student Transitions at the University of Central Arkansas and co-author of The College Experience and A High School Parent’s Guide to College Success: 12 Essentials. Amy and her husband are parents of two college students.

Marlene Kern Fischer is

a wife, mother, blogger (Thoughts from Aisle Four) and essay coach. A founding contributor at CollegiateParent, her work has also been featured on Huffington Post, Grown & Flown, Parent & Co., the Erma Bombeck Writers’ Workshop, MockMom and Beyond Your Blog.

College Mental Health Program at McLean Hospital, an instructor in the Department of Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, and an Active Minds National Advisor.

Kelli Ruhl is a lifestyle writer with

a passion for capturing compelling stories.

She is mom to two incredible kids, a proud CU alum (Go Buffs!) and an avid reader and runner.

Suzanne Shaffer counsels

students and families through her blog, Parenting for College. Her advice has been highlighted on Huffington Post, Yahoo Finance, U.S. News College and TeenLife online and she has written for Smart College Visit, College Focus, Noodle Education and Road2College. Her articles have also been featured in print in TeenLife, UniversityParent and CollegiateParent publications.

Connie Lissner is a writer, lawyer,

wife and mother of two sons — one in college and the other a recent graduate.

Connie’s parenting escapades have been featured on Huffington Post, Yahoo Finance, Grown & Flown, Scary Mommy, LifeAfter50, Club Mid, BlogHer and Not Your Mother’s Book…on Parenting.

Vicki Nelson has nearly four

decades’ experience in higher education as a professor, academic advisor and administrator.

Her website, College Parent Central, is a source of bountiful information and support for the families of college students.

Cambria Pilger is a senior at

Whitworth University, majoring in journalism and minoring in Spanish and business. She is a resident assistant and freelance writer.

Cambria’s guidelines to living a good life are optimism, authenticity, and flexibility. She never wants to stop learning or getting to know people!

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CollegiateParent

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CollegiateParent has published this magazine to share insider information about the college parenting experience and highlight campus and community resources. This resource is brought to you by the University of North Carolina Wilmington.

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