My Journey Through Cancer

It all started on April 11, 2021—six months after my husband, Kent, went home to be with the Lord. I had a date for my overdue mammogram at CDH.

Because of having breast cancer in 2008 on my left side, I am always nervous until it is over, and the letter comes that says there is no sign of cancer.

A few days later, I had a call back and returned to have not only another mammogram but also an ultrasound. I did not want to think that it was cancer again. I was taken to an office, where I met a nurse named Joyce who explained to me that I would need a biopsy, which would be sent to a lab for examination, and I would be called about the results. She then set up the appointment for April 19, only a few days away.

I began to fuss about being alone, without my dear husband by my side. God, why is this happening to me now? I had some apprehension about the biopsy, as the one I had experienced before was uncomfortable and somewhat painful.it is over, But when the day arrived, I was pleasantly surprised as it was very different from the previous procedure. I simply lay on a table, and the doctor came in and sat beside me to do the procedure. In no time, she was finished, and I had not felt a thing. I asked her if she had been able to get everything she needed, and she chuckled and said, “Oh, yes!” It was just amazing to me. On April 22, I was where I always am in the early morning hours—reading the Bible, my Streams in the Desert devotional. and in prayer. The psalm that morning was Psalm 91. It begins:

Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God in whom I trust.”

Believe it or not, that same morning, the phone call came to say I had cancer!

Surely he will save you from the fowler’s snare and from the deadly pestilence. He will cover you with his feathers and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.

I had to decide. Was I going to believe these words presented to me that morning? Or would I be afraid, worry and wonder what was going to happen to me? I was sure of what I read, and I determined in my mind and heart that I would trust the Lord’s promises. And then I watched and proceeded to see him provide for each day.

Many friends at Windsor who supported me as I went through the grieving process during Kent’s illness and homegoing were there again. My daughter, who lives close by, said she would go to the doctor with me. I was grateful for the support and love surrounding me. My nurse, Joyce, called to say I would be seeing Dr. Ahn on May 4.

On the fourth, my daughter called my son in Phoenix so he could listen to the doctor explaining what they were looking for and what needed to be done. I had stage one cancer, which would require a lumpectomy. The surgery was scheduled for May 31. She explained I would need to have an MRI to learn more about the extent of the disease. She talked to me for some time, explaining what the surgery would involve. Other appointments included seeing my primary care physician, a genetics consultation, a pre-op COVID test and a meeting about anesthesia.

I sailed through these days with little anxiety, assured of the support and love of others, and the Lord providing for me minute by minute.

My head was swimming! What to do first? I put the known appointments on my calendar. Then I began to call on my friends, as I did not wish to go to these appointments alone. My Windsor friend, also named Joyce, took me for the MRI early in the morning before breakfast.

But the MRI itself was a different story—the worst situation I had ever been in! Darkness all around me, pounding noise for almost an hour. I just wanted to get out of there. I had never felt claustrophobic before. I silently, frantically cried out to the Lord, and somehow, he sustained me until it was over. I couldn’t get out of there fast enough. Going out into the bright sunshine was such a relief.

This test showed that there was more cancer in the breast than originally thought, and a mastectomy would be required, not just a lumpectomy. So, the agony of the MRI proved worth it. But a PET scan was now required, to check for metastases in other parts of the body. On May 26, another friend Junette drove me to the lab in DeKalb and waited for me. No other cancer was found! I had been fearful and apprehensive on the drive to DeKalb but very relieved and comforted on the trip home.

You will not fear the terror of the night, nor the arrow that flies by day. Nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday… If you say, “The Lord is my refuge,” and you make the Most High your dwelling, no harm will overtake you, no disaster will come near your tent, concerning you to guard you in all your ways; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.

My support was growing. Our granddaughters in Phoenix called to say they were coming in time for the surgery and would stay to care for me for the first week post-op. I was delighted and so thankful! They are fun and caring. Two pastors from our church, who had been so helpful during Kent’s illness and homegoing, contacted me, also praying with other staff members. My Adult Community was also praying. I was stopped in Windsor’s hallways by other friends, who assured me they were praying. I sailed through these days with little anxiety, assured of the support and love of others, and the Lord providing for me minute by minute.

“Because he loves me,” says the Lord. “I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. He will call on me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble; I will deliver him and honor him. With long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation.” (NIV)

The day of surgery arrived, and we trekked to the hospital in the early morning hours. The surgery went well. Although I had serious pain when leaving the OR, medicine in recovery relieved it, and I went home that afternoon. Some days during recovery were slow, but I had the help I needed, even after the girls left. Friends came for a few hours at a time and helped me with chores. The pastors kept in touch and visited me in my apartment.

My prognosis is good. They got it all! Lymph nodes were clean. I do not need chemo or radiation—just to heal and go on with my life. The Lord receives the glory for my good prognosis and recovery, as he kept his promises to me every day of my journey. I have learned a great lesson in trust, which would likely not have happened without being put in this position. In moments when I was afraid, wanted to run and not face what tests might reveal, I would remember the words of the psalmist, promising God’s presence and knowledge of my circumstances and deliverance. I decided to believe God’s words and rely upon them—and did so each moment that doubt would creep into my thoughts.

In my daily journaling, I found passages of prayer written by those who were in dire circumstances, and I would read them aloud and copy them so that I would feel their strength and remember them later in the day. In 2 Chronicles, time after time, in chapter after chapter, the text is rich with examples of the necessity of going to the Lord to seek his help because there is no other way to find the needed help. And that is why the Lord places us in these difficulties. There is no way to explain the wonder of having his help take you through hard things and to have trusted him and come out the other side, to a place of safety and peace. The Lord does what he says he will do, but he waits for us to seek him and his help. He wants it.