July 2020 Connections

Connections Proclaiming the GOSPEL

LOCAL & GLOBAL STORIES, NEWS AND EVENTS of COLLEGE CHURCH

"I’ve always been a pianist and love the piano. The sounds you can get, what you can do with your fingers, is very special to me."

See A Life Played Out by Providence

by Allan Sholes on page 8

JULY 2020

I Believe!

Face to Face

Life Lessons

The Broken Generational Curse

Grieving with Hope

The Seventeen Who Prayed

LUIS ORELLANA | 4

KARIS RIGBY | 14

NANCY TALLY | 16

TABLE OF CONTENTS 4

The Broken Generational Curse | LUIS ORELLANA

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July Highlights

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A Life Played Out By Providence| ALLAN SHOLES

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Resale Reopenings| PHOTOS BY JONATHAN MERRY

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Grieving with Hope | KARIS RIGBY

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The Seventeen Who Prayed| NANCY TALLY

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Meme, Myself and Isolation | CHRISTY OTTEN

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Book Spotlight | LELAND RYKEN

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Meet Your Leaders

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New Members

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Looking Ahead/Milestones

I BELIEVE!

The Broken Generational Curse Luis Orellana Could there be a curse on my family? Was I destined for the same lifestyle as my uncles? My uncles came from Guatemala.

All claimed to be Catholics, but indulged in a life of sex, drugs and violence. Their parents, also from Guatemala, were part of a family with six brothers and six sisters. All grew up united with a seal that could not be broken. The great grandmother was the center of the household. After her husband died, she raised the 12 on her own, and they never lacked the necessities. Five sisters, including my grandmother, decided to migrate to the U.S. with their children when my father was 15.

They all lived in a three-unit complex. The life that the children knew during those times was one of unity and bondage.

The life in the complex consisted of alcohol and cigarettes throughout the week. With the mothers gone during the day, working in a factory, and no fathers around, the boys grew up the only way they knew—drinking, fighting on the streets and having sex. This was what it meant to be a man. Growing up, I heard these whispers at family gatherings: “To be a man, stick up for yourself, stick to your family, and have many women before you get married.” The pride of life had been in the family for as long as one could stare down my family tree.

My mother would fight against this darkness and call out the evil patterns of thought and speech, yet, every weekend, my father took me to the family gatherings. My uncles and Dad’s cousins would chatter about the most profane things. Pride was the source of unity and manifesto. Prideful testimonies of fights, sleeping with prostitutes, adultery, and even shootings would be shared.

As I listened to all this, pride took its seat on the throne of my soul and I would delight in such conversations. In fact, many times I convinced my drunken uncles to retell stories of their lives, just for the sake of satisfying my pride in the family tree. I remember many occasions when my cousins and I (ages 7-12) would jokingly say that when we grew up, we would protect one another and sleep with prostitutes so we could carry on the legendary nobility of the family.

Oh Lord! My heart was so far from Thee! No sign of hope! No sign of a Messiah near! Only grace would draw God to me! For my heart desired lust and pride all the days of my youth!

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This sort of thinking dominated my youth even though it conflicted with my mother’s teachings and my conscience. I knew it was wrong but carrying the baton of pride brought meaning and unity to what my dad and uncles did. One look at my adolescence and you probably only suspect this generational curse to carry on.

Who could ever overcome this generational curse? Who could ever break the bondage of tradition? The only means to transformation in this family would require the change of man entirely! How could you change the men with such wicked desires? These men drowned in the romance of lust and pride. There was a grip in the desires of these men. Round and round they went, the same motion continued. Never could one imagine such a curse broken. Yet, it was our Lord who said, “What seems impossible for man is possible for God!” (Luke 18:27) Youthful Passions As a teenager, anger, emptiness, a sense of meaninglessness, as well as longing overwhelmed my soul. Teachers recommended I see a counselor. The counselor recommended I see a psychologist. The psychologist recommended I see a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist diagnosed me with manic depression and ADHD. I took 4.5 pills per day. This brought temporary comfort. Not the pills, but the thought that I could blame my darkness on something outside of myself. My passions and longing to fill this void made me do everything possible just to discover who I was meant to be. I was entangled with many sins, but lust burned in my heart. I had found immediate pleasure and temporary escape, and always had a girlfriend. But they couldn’t fill my void, and the relationships ended quickly.

Depression was the dominating emotion in my life, but I never sought to be around happy people. I found them somewhat annoying. I wrote dark poetry to express my sentiment, which only served to make me dive deeper into my state of depression. The times when even depression seemed elusive, I would put on a headset and use music to bring me back to a depressive state. Depression became my identity. Life was dark and meaningless. It was only a matter of getting by with the best experiences possible before death would swallow me up.

I jumped at every job opportunity that came my way hoping to hit the jackpot and find my true identity. I worked in retail, volunteered at a hospital, volunteered at a legal immigration office, was a warehouse worker, a painter and salesman. I never kept a job for more than six months. I would do well, but it never truly satisfied me. I remember many uncles and family members bullying me for never being able to keep a job. I was the laughingstock for many friends.

By now, I was working as a CNA (in private care), but still did not feel my life had meaning. One night I was in my bedroom feeling alone. The last words I heard from my psychiatrist was, “Your goal is to just try and get by in life.” The fact that even the psychiatrist had given up on me brought me to a dark place. Women no longer brought me a feeling of escape. The prescription pills had never filled the void. I was falling into a dark place.

In 2013, I came across an Al Pacino biography. Apparently, Pacino had reached a low point and could never find what he wanted to do with his life. He then devoted his time to acting and found his escape and identity there. Within a month, I had luggage and an airplane ticket in hand and was headed to Stella Studios, an acting school in New York City. I figured I would try acting and hide my identity behind the characters. Three weeks later I quit and began working as a painter in Trenton, New Jersey. There I was introduced to more drinking, another girlfriend and cocaine. Within two months, I realized I was headed down the wrong path. I picked up the phone. I called my parents and headed back home two days later.

At the time, my mother and dad were separated. They both met with me and begged me to get my life together. I remember my echoing scream back, “I ``’t know what I want! Nothing satisfies me!” They responded, “Just find something and stick to it.” I was not okay with that response. Conformity only brought more fear of living a meaningless life.

Within a couple of months, I was living in a townhouse, with a cousin and two old friends. There I discovered that partaking in sin together only made it easier to live a rebellious lifestyle.

My life was still enslaved to the same dark rituals. No matter the amount of strength I mustered to take on the right path, I would wander off to a lifestyle dominated by my youthful passions.

My soul was empty. I knew I was in darkness, and the more my thoughts came, the darker they got. The more my actions pressed forward, the more I abided in darkness. There was no escape for me. Suicidal thoughts roamed my mind daily. The only thing that prevented that act was the thought of certain hell. For some reason, I knew I would go to hell if I died. The moment I flooded my hand with pills and the thoughts enraged my mind, my conscience screamed, “Hell is certain for you!” I yelled at God knowing he was bringing the fear of hell. I never heard an answer back. I was alone and blind, with no escape. I was bound to the chains of darkness.

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Lord, there was a day I walked against you. I walked as your enemy.

Yet, as an enemy no joy was found. As an enemy, pains of hunger and thirst cried forth daily. Never did I seek remedy in you but sought remedy in every corner of darkness. Lord, I have come to learn darkness never draws near to the light, but it is the Light that draws near and overcomes darkness.

rush in a weight unbearable. I looked to God and confessed the burdens of my soul. I confessed the wretched man that I was. I cried out loud with a loud voice to help me because I could no longer live this way anymore. It was then I felt an overwhelming lift off my shoulders. I had a strong sense of his presence. I could sense God was indeed listening to me. I sat for hours and prayed continuously and wept continuously.

The Day of Salvation Is Near

This continued for several weeks. I was overwhelmed with the nourishment of His presence. Prayer was the only means I knew to speak with God. I also began to attend church—the transformation in my character was rapid. The emptiness was indeed gone. The side effects of that void began to drift away.

The pill-taking immediately stopped, and I didn’t experience withdrawals. I remember one specific moment when I put on the headphones to listen to music that usually would depress me (as I often did), and it didn’t happen. I began to understand I was no longer the same person I was.

August 2014 I sat in my room, jobless for three months. My parents were paying my rent. I was tired of going out. I was tired of the same routine. I was slipping through the cracks of life like quicksand.

Then came A Facebook invitation from a woman to join a family gathering. Well, women were my weakness . . . so I went.

Little did I know this woman was a Christian. We went for a walk to the park. As my mind roamed with lust filled thoughts, she sat me down and asked to pray for me. She laid her hand on me and spoke to the Lord of Lords on my behalf.

Little did I know that prayer moves the Almighty. Little did I know the Almighty was filled with grace for a wretch like me.

I watched as she closed her eyes and prayed. Nothing felt different. I thanked her and carried on with my worldly discussion.

At the end of it all, she invited me to a youth group that Friday.

I decided to attend out of the mere desire to get to know her better.

When I walked into this youth group, I saw God’s children worshipping him with their hands high, and my soul cringed with irritation and anger for such affection and praise. I heard the message preached. I remembered nothing. I left and drove back home.

I walked into my townhouse and went to shower. Suddenly, the weight of my burdens brought me to my knees. I felt the burden

I had tried everything in life, finally to discover that nothing compares to Christ.

It was only Christ that saw me there, It was only Christ that drew so near, It was only Christ that met me there, It was only Christ that saved me there, It is only Christ that draws me in, It is only Christ that keeps me here, It is only Christ that I live for, For it is only Christ my Savior and My Lord!

Note: Within several months after I trusted Christ, my mother and sister came to Christ and in that time period my entire family (all 40 family members) got to hear the gospel for the first time. I am now called to be a full-time minister. Praise be to God!

About the Author | Luis Orellana Luis and his wife, Rebecca, became members of College Church a year ago this month. Luis serves on the Evangelism Committee.

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JULY HIGHLIGHTS Sunday Mornings JOIN US FOR WORSHIP: In-person or Online!

Our Sunday morning worship continue to be available on our Facebook and YouTube channels and on our livestream webpage at college-church.org/livestream. Invite friends, neighbors and coworkers to join from their homes, and invite online discussion afterwards.

We are thrilled to have in-person worship service options with limited seating and social distancing protocols. Seating is limited and registration is required. Registration opens Tuesday at 12 p.m. Visit college-church.org/responsiblereopening for details, which are changing week by week, and for a link to register.

We will be celebrating communion on Sunday, July 12, in all services. If you are celebrating communion at home, provide and prepare your own communion elements, preferably juice and bread/crackers.

Visit our Resource Oasis webpage for helpful and inspirational resources to help you connect and grow this summer at college-church.org//resourceoasis

Join the College Church Channel at Right Now Media You can find Christian media content for families, small groups, kids, personal study or marriages in our new webspace at Right Now Media. This is a free resource for everyone at College Church to use (available on IOS, Android, Roku, AppleTV). To sign up for free and start using this online digital library right now, click here. Enjoy!

July 30—College Church Blood Drive Is Back!

Our blood drive will take place on July 30, from 1 p.m. to 6 p.m. in the Commons. You may make an appointment online at donate.illinois.versiti.org. Staff will be sure to observe appropriate social distancing.

Prayer Gatherings Online & In-person Call the church office or email info@college-church.org for details on how to join one or more of these prayer meetings.

Sunday Morning Prayer (Online) 8-8:40 a.m. Led by Pastor Eric Channing

Monday Morning Prayer (In-person) 6:15-7:15 a.m. in C104A. Led by Elder Rob Wolgemuth

Wednesday Night Prayer (Online) 7-8 p.m. Led by the Missions Office

Friday Lunch Prayer for the Persecuted Church (In-person) 12-1 p.m. in C103. Led by Glenn and Ann Deckert and Wil and Lorraine Triggs

Aaron-Hur Fellowship will meet on Thursday, July 23, at 7 p.m. at the home of Eric and Marilyn Enstrom, 1460 Stoddard Avenue in Wheaton (630-682-8341).

Our weekly prayer pulse email goes out every Monday. You can get weekly prayer updates via that email. Sign up by clicking "Enews signup" on our website. Or, if you already receive other emails from College Church, click "manage my preferences" at the bottom of any of our emails and select prayer pulse to add yourself to the prayer email.

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SIDE BY SIDE

A Life Played Out by Providence Allan Sholes An interview with College Church Member John Innes.

Seated at the keyboard of a piano or organ, the distinguished-looking silver-haired gentleman appears to play effortlessly. If he seems familiar, he has performed on countless occasions for churches, concerts, Moody Founder’s Week and Billy Graham Crusades worldwide before millions of people.

John and Janet Innes

His musical achievements hardly seemed likely in his early years though, that is apart from some divine interventions.

As a young boy growing up in an industrial town in the north of England, he never dreamed he would someday go on to a music ministry of playing piano at evangelistic events all over the globe.

He was a doctor’s kid living in Bradford, Yorkshire. Perhaps, like many of his peers, he would eventually work in the textile industry centered there. As a boy, he happened to take piano lessons, but had no aspirations of what he would one day become: composer, arranger, conductor, studio musician, minister of music, record producer, recording artist and concert artist of great accomplishment. Certainly, ministry was not on his radar.

“My father was a physician and had his office in the house with a waiting room for patients. He had office hours in the morning and evenings, and our house schedule revolved around that,” as he tells it. Those were the days when doctors still visited people in their homes as well.

But then a boyhood friendship became God’s instrument to help change the course of his life forever.

John Innes was a boy of nine or ten when “fortunately for me,” he says, he made friends with a boy the same age who lived on

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his street. It turned out that the boy’s father was the pastor of a church in town. That pastor’s kid invited the doctor’s kid to go with him to Sunday school.

John’s parents were not churchgoers.

Religion just wasn’t a part of his household.

He had never been to a church. He resisted the invitation at first, but after a while John agreed to go with his friend to Sunday School. He says that’s where he first heard the gospel, “because it was a wonderful, Bible-believing church.

“It also happened that that was the first opportunity I had to play piano in church, around age 10 or 11.” His Sunday school was putting on a program for the kids.

Because he had already been taking piano lessons, the leaders asked John to play the piano for the program. He says he had not received Christ at that point. That led to his becoming a regular accompanist for the church throughout his teens.

Listening to John tell his story gives the impression of one being led not by any human career plan but instead by God’s providence, from one connection and opportunity to another—and another.

“My days in Bradford were very meaningful, mostly because of the church I got involved with. So those were very formative early years that really set me on a different course than might have been the case if that had not happened.”

When John was 16 an evangelist came to speak at his church for the main service, which took place on Sunday nights in the 1950s. John was playing piano for the service that night. The evangelist gave a gospel invitation. John realized he had never committed his life to Christ and never received him as Savior despite hearing about it during those early years at the church and

being active in the youth group. He had been convicted of his need but had been putting it off.

“I became convinced that this is the night I need to do this,” he says. “That was when I truly came to Christ. I remember the peace that came into my heart at that time” A few years later, John was playing at a Christian conference in a seaside town in Yorkshire in 1957.

Once again, providence led him, in an unexpected way.

“An American missionary on furlough came to the conference, heard me play and said, ‘you would do well to study music at Moody Bible Institute in Chicago. They’ve got a great music program, and it would be a good opportunity for you.’”

In those days it was quite difficult to get an immigrant visa to go to the U.S. Besides, John remembers telling the missionary, “I don’t know anyone in America.” The missionary said, “let me see what I can do about that.” The missionary wrote to an MBI professor and asked him if he would be willing to sponsor John as a student at Moody. “The professor decided, sight unseen, and took me on.”

So, in the fall of 1957, John completed the application process, and by Christmas he was accepted to come as a student to Moody for the next fall term.

Then he began the application for the visa, trusting that if this was really of the Lord then all these things would work out. In the summer 1958 he received his immigrant visa and in August 1958 he came to Chicago. It turned out to be another real turning point in his life.

In those days Moody’s radio station WMBI had a lot of live music programs—student ensembles, chorale groups. “There were many opportunities for someone like me to accompany them on piano. That fall I began playing for them on WMBI.” John also auditioned to join the Moody Chorale conducted by Don Hustad, head of the music department at the time. Later Don began serving with Billy Graham’s music team in 1961.

That would lead eventually to John’s first opportunity to serve with the Billy Graham team.

It happened one night during the Billy Graham crusade in Chicago at McCormick Place in 1962. Cliff Barrows, longtime song leader and music director for the crusades, wanted to go home for a day to be with his wife who had just given birth to their fifth child. Don Hustad took over leading the choir for that night, and he asked John to come and play for the service in his place. John was a junior at Wheaton College then. “That’s when I met Billy Graham for the first time. It was the beginning of my connection with the Billy Graham music team.”

That junior year at Wheaton brought another connection: That’s when he first met his wife, Janet. She was a student at Moody then and came to Wheaton to do a program for WMBI. They were introduced by a friend who came with him. After John graduated from Wheaton in the summer of 1962 he and Janet were married. She initially would travel with him to Billy Graham events, though that became less feasible after they had children.

John would go on to spend most of his adult life spent on the Billy Graham team, from the summer of 1963 until 2008, about 45 years. “I can see looking back how God put his hand on me when I was still a kid in Bradford, playing in the church, coming to Moody, and eventually to the Billy Graham team. Those are some of the wonderful ways God sometimes leads you in your life.” Never in his wildest dreams as a kid in Bradford could he have ever imagined that he would go to America and do all these things.

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The Billy Graham Crusade gave him a platform. (The evangelist preached the gospel to live audiences estimated at 215 million people in more than 185 countries and territories, according to the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association.) So, it’s safe to say that John performed before millions of people during his ministry.

According to the archives of the Billy Graham Library in Charlotte, NC: “As important as Billy’s preaching was, it took a good team of talented musicians to set the stage for the message to be heard.” John Innes was one of the “crusade musicians” a team of singers, organists and pianists.

As people got to know John, he was asked to do a lot of other things. “Over the course of those years I got to do virtually everything that I ever had any kind of ambition for.” He had the opportunity to write books of piano arrangements and worked with several publishers.

Through Bill Gaither and his studio in Alexandria, Indiana, John got involved in recording and became an orchestrator and conductor for albums by various people who came to know him because of the Crusade ministry. “For the Billy Graham team itself I did a lot of writing and arranging for the choir and some orchestrating too. I am so grateful that through that huge ministry so many other wonderful opportunities came about and gave me the chance to share ministry in a lot of different venues.”

As a notable example, a recommendation from Don Hustad led to his serving as a keyboardist at First Baptist Church, Atlanta under Pastor Charles Stanley for 10 years, from 1986 to 1996.

That occasioned his family’s move to Stone Mountain, GA, east of Atlanta, where they lived for almost 30 years. “I had to miss playing at the church some Sundays because of the Crusade ministry, but I was basically there a lot of the time.” John also played for many years at Moody Bible Institute’s Founder’s Week.

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Six years ago, John was looking toward retirement, and he and Janet decided they would like to live somewhere closer to at least one of their four children and some of their grandchildren.

Their youngest daughter and her family were living in the Wheaton area at the time. Her children were youngsters and “we could participate in the various events in their lives. We prayed about it” and made the move to south Wheaton.

Another connection brought them to College Church. John already knew organist H. E. Singley. “We thought, let’s go there and see how we fit in.” He has become involved in the music ministry, and on occasion he and H. E. team up on piano and organ for the Sunday morning services. He and his wife also participate in a small group.

A College Church member noted that John doesn’t typically have sheet music in front of him when he plays. “Most of the music H.E. and I play is music I have arranged and memorized,” he explains, and some of it is music that he had co-written or composed himself.

Former professional musician and current entrepreneur Greg Howlett has reflected on John’s influence on him. “I always have sort of seen John Innes’s piano work as pretty much the pinnacle of church piano in general. It is a stylish blend of modern and old, functional and artistic,” he writes on his website. “Pinnacle” in terms not only of the quality of his work but also of the era of piano being featured prominently in church worship and revival crusades.

Asked how church music has changed throughout his years ministering, John says, “Over the last 30 years or so the music has changed radically.” He remembers when the Billy Graham Crusades started bringing in bands doing rock and roll. “A lot of churches obviously now have music ministry that centers upon a worship team, maybe a group of singers on the stage and a band.”

He likes that College Church has a wide spectrum of what we do musically, including the music he values that has stood the test of time: instrumentals, brass, strings, sometimes an orchestra. “At the same time, we’re learning new music, songs written by people like Keith Getty.”

John says he would not feel super comfortable in a church where the music is limited, say, primarily to only rock. “It’s fine and I am happy for people who feel most comfortable with that.

I realize for those generations growing up that was the music they heard and listened to.”

John says he has observed that people in the pews often don’t sing very much in congregations where the singing is being done for them by a group on stage. “I love that in College Church we have congregational singing, and I appreciate that for songs I don’t know the music is printed in the bulletin. And obviously the congregation is well versed in reading music, which is a great thing.”

“In the U.S. in general, I would say, in evangelical churches much of the music programs are being done by people who are untrained—people who play guitar and bass who do not read music. They are doing everything by ear, learning by rote.

Same with the singers. Many of them don’t read music and have to memorize the songs. To me that’s limiting as to what kinds of things you can do.”

At College Church, John said, we’re privileged to have a much wider spectrum of music. “The people who are up there are musicians and doing a great job of that. We love the music at College Church.”

“The music love of my life is the piano. I am a pianist primarily.

I do know how to play the organ and I enjoy that as well,” he says. (He has a master’s degree from Northwestern University in organ and has played both organ and piano for the Crusades over the years.) “I’ve always been a pianist and love the piano.

The sounds you can get, what you can do with your fingers, is very special to me.”

Fittingly, an opportunity came for John to play for Billy Graham one last time, at the evangelist’s funeral service a little over two years ago. Well before his father died, Franklin Graham “asked me to be available to play at his father’s funeral whenever that might be.” He says Franklin gave him specific requests of pieces to play.

“One of main things I thank the Lord for every day is the way in which he led in all these different ways. It’s been one of those wonderful things you could never have planned for or thought about. Just the way God ordained it and arranged it. It’s been truly marvelous. I am very, very grateful.”

About the Author | Allan Sholes Involved in College Church for over 20 years, Allan continues his work as an editor and collaborative writer in Christian book publishing. Formerly a newspaper reporter and magazine editor, he enjoys interviewing people and writing their stories.

Historic photos courtesy of the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association.

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TWICE IS NICE 893 E Geneva Rd, Carol Stream, IL 60188 M-F: 10am-5pm Saturday: 9am-4pm Sunday: CLOSED

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STARS RESALE SHOP 1072 College Ave, Wheaton, IL 60187 M-F: 10am-5pm Saturday: 9am-4pm Sunday: CLOSED

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FACE TO FACE

Grieving with Hope Karis Rigby Karis began writing this prior to the massive protests in the U.S. We thought its message fit with all what is currently going on in the U.S., and our prayers are with our friends who are asking how to enter in, grieve, lament and love in this season.

About three weeks ago we began to journey with friends who are going through an unspeakably hard time with their toddler son who has a life-threatening diagnosis. If everything was socalled routine, this would be incredibly hard, but the additional layers the pandemic adds to the situation feel crushing. The night of the initial diagnosis, I felt completely deflated. "It's too much bad," I said to Stephen, "there is too much bad right now." I was reminded of days gone by, during our season of miscarriage after miscarriage when I would crawl into bed at the end of the day and just ask Stephen to "tell me something good." How do we navigate the fine line between lament and despair? In a season when I already feel lower than usual, bad news really takes its toll.

Personally, I have experienced much freedom through Scripture to lament and cry out and to do so without qualification or short circuiting the lamenting process. It would be untrue to say that it is cut and dry—grieving and lamenting and despairing can be murky business. It can be hard to distinguish what is helpful and what is hurtful at times. In fact, I have often said, "What is the right action for one day, can be the wrong one the next.” And what I have learned is that so much of it has to do with our heart posture.

The other night I was despairing. When I couldn't shake the gloom at all, when it seemed like evil was winning, it was crushing. I went to bed and didn’t sleep very well (being third trimester pregnant doesn't help that either). I woke up the next morning, and as I began my morning routine, I heard a gentle voice say to me, "I love your friends you know. I love each of them so much. None of this is happening outside of my love." I tangibly felt a weight lift from me. It was a simple reality, but it was the truth I needed.

When I operate out of fear and the threat of all that can and does go wrong, it is debilitating. When I give more credence to the evil than to the good, to fear than to love, my vision is

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skewed, and I can be overwhelmed by the bad in an unhealthy way. The truth of God's love didn't take the pain of the situation away or lessen the sobering reality of how terrible it is, but it brought my feet back to stable ground; it allows me to grieve without despair. First Thessalonians 4:13 talks about this, "But we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope."

How is this possible? What distinguishes us in a way that we can face the harsh realities of this world, lament and not lose hope? Verse 14 answers this very question: "For since we believe that Jesus died and rose again..." There it is, I don't have to live in fear because Jesus has conquered death and darkness. I don't live with a question mark of doom hanging over me—I know who faced doom so that we may live. God's love is not a token thought, it is a tangible reality. The world is broken, and Jesus died to bring healing and restoration. These truths make me neither untouchable nor invincible but, as I look at Jesus, neither was he. In fact, he relinquished his heavenly throne to enter humanity and to be enveloped by the realities of this world, to have his heart ache and his body break. He wasn't stoic or blissfully unaware, he delved headfirst into the heartbreak of this earth.

Godly grief moves me into action—entering in with others and their losses, seeking wholeness and mercy, and ultimately to the act of getting on my knees and crying out to the One who holds all these things in his hands. Lament leads me to empathize, to carry some of the burden and, instead of trying to find a quick and easy silver lining, I look for what God might be doing in the darkness, straining my eyes for the first rays of dawn, as I know, they come.

One space of lament in this season has been how we see those around us who already had little to no margin now living in extremely hard circumstances. We have been in a semi-strict lockdown for almost three months and most of the measures were just extended for another 30 days. Coronavirus cases are ticking up, with cases in the triple digits and the economic impact felt deeply.

In the midst of all this, it has felt like our call to action has been straightforward. Care for those around us. This has included our teammates, friends, neighbors and, of course, specifically for Stephen, the Ambassadors family. In a time where we physically cannot go into many of the places that are hardest hit, the Ambassadors staff has an amazing network of coaches, and Stephen has been working tirelessly to equip and care for his staff and the community of coaches. It has been encouraging and hard. Daily I see him accept the limitations, resist fears, think creatively about the future (how do you do football ministry without actually playing it for potentially months on end?), fundraise for an office that he worked so hard to help make locally sustainable (thanks to all who have joined in this initiative) and continue to release all these things to the Lord.

It's another space where the rubber hits the road of living out the hope that we claim to believe in. This is not our ministry, our plans functioning our way. We don't just have to try harder and figure it out. What we actually need is to continue to slow down (seems ironic) and listen to him who is constantly leading us knowing that nothing in this pandemic is happening outside of his love, he loves all these people, all the Ambassadors staff, all the coaches, all of us more than we can imagine.

About the Author | Karis Rigby Karis and her husband, Stephen, are College Church missionaries serving with Serge in Nairobi, Kenya. This spring the whole family celebrated Stephen and Karis’ anniversary with a wedding tea party. The Rigbys have two children and a third on the way.

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LIFE LESSONS

The Seventeen Who Prayed Nancy Tally

With the recent protests and conversations about racism, we thought this OneWord Journal post Nancy Tally wrote in 2017 was timely. When we asked her about reprinting, she replied: It appears that I was not the only one thinking about this piece that I wrote back in 2017.

I was growing angrier, disheartened and scared with every news cast I watched. I was sure that the opportunistic rioters and looters as well those consumed with anger, disgust and retaliation (because the police do not weed out the evil ones and evil practices from among their own ranks and our justice system is indeed blind—I know this from personal experiences) would be sure to target the good, the innocent and the vulnerable. Is that not satan’s* way? To destroy what is good and spare what is of his own making?

Personally, I struggle with fear. So, it was not surprising to find myself fearful again. When afraid, I revert to part of a verse we taught the youngest kids in Awana. “What time I am afraid I will trust in thee.”

So, to prayer I go seeing myself, in my head, climbing into Abba’s lap and telling him what he already knows. And here I also have to ask my heavenly Father to remind me of all he has done that I, in my weakness, have forgotten.

Abba brought this incident to mind. This time when he clearly showed to me his power to protect his own in the face of satan’s attacks.

[Note:*about the lack of capitalization, Nancy comments, “I purposely did not capitalize satan. I do not want to attribute any rank to him.”]

I originally titled this piece “Jehovah Sabaoth, The Lord of Hosts is Our Protector,” that title was changed to “The Seventeen Who Prayed.”

May I encourage you to pray and be part of somebody’s protection at this time.

The Seventeen Who Prayed I want to tell you about a very dark night that blazed with light.

What you saw all depended on your perspective.

The man I married traveled for work. He would usually leave after the Sunday evening service and return the following Saturday morning, Friday evening if I was lucky.

I developed my self-talk early on. Even though I felt safer when he was home, I really wasn’t any safer than when he was gone, for it was God who protected us both at home and on the road, separated or together. (Someday I will tell you about the miraculous near misses I have been in on the road.)

Occasionally God reminds us what he spares us from all the time. Keeps our prayers real and honest and prevents them from becoming rote.

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Back to the dark night.

The kids and I were home by ourselves. I had them all tucked in bed asleep and was ready to turn in when I heard a Popoid toy skitter across the wood floor of the living room. Popoids made a distinct sound and they did not move under their own power. Unfortunately, the only phone was downstairs in the kitchen on the far side of the house.

We lived in a tri-level home, and the upper hall from my bedroom, across to and down the stairs, was open to the living room. The lone light burning that night was at the top of those stairs. As I descended the stairs, a sense of evil grew until it was totally pervasive, and I ducked behind the first cover I could find—an overstuffed chair. There I cowered for what seemed like an eternity. I wanted the phone, but to get to it, I would be fully exposed by the light to the un-curtained windows of the front door. I wanted to get to my babies upstairs but then I would be exposed even longer, long enough for a clean shot.

So, I cowered behind the chair on that dark moonless night and prayed harder than I had ever prayed before. I continuously begged God to protect my family from the evil I sensed all around me.

I could not tell you how long it was before the sense of evil lifted, and I ran upstairs to go from sleeping child to sleeping child checking on their well-fare and rearranging their covers.

I thought I would never get to sleep but God tucked me in that night. It was as if he kissed my forehead and said, “Sleep well my child.” I slept soundly till the phone rang the next morning—the first of seventeen calls. Every caller wanted to know the same thing: Were we okay and what happened? God had raised seventeen prayer warriors from their sleep to pray for us. I had nothing to tell other than that sense of evil surrounding me in that pitch-black house with its solitary light. We did not know what had happened.

But he did get in the van, and then asked me “How did you know?” I inquired how did I know what? He replied, “How did you know they were coming?” I didn’t know what he was talking about and told him so.

I have often wished that an artist could paint that night for me, perhaps a cutaway of the house all dark and the kids sleeping in their beds while I crouched and prayed behind the chair. And then paint what I did not see. The blaze of lights and glory.

When they returned to the bar the old man inquired, “Did you do it?” While they drowned their fear and confusion in alcohol, they told him no. As they laid in hiding to assess the situation, they saw the house ablaze with bright lights inside and out. On top of that, they counted seventeen big burly men in white suits roaming about both inside and outside the house. They couldn’t understand who had told me they were coming and where I could have recruited all those men to defend the house. They were outnumbered and would get caught so they aborted their mission.

To make sense of this for you, I need to introduce you to the “Old Man from the nursing home.” The kids and I never knew him by any other name.

We had been watching out for him. He would walk to the corner by our house and wait for a friend to drive by and offer him a lift. Some days he stood there for hours. One 100-degree summer day, we agreed that if no one came in fifteen minutes, we would pile into the van and offer him a lift. That one day had turned into two years. His destination was always the local VFW bar about a mile away.

We had given him a ride the day that turned into the dark night but had not seen him for two weeks since and wondered if he were sick or even alive.

Then there he was again on the street corner. We piled into the van to pick him up. This time things were different. He wasn’t just the grumpy old codger who grudgingly thanked us for a lift.

He was so scared that he blanched at the sight of us. He was not going to get in the van until he had assured himself that we were not ghosts and even then, he was reticent.

The old man told me about the last time I dropped him off at the VFW, and that the nine men who had long been upset by my bi-racial marriage and children had worked up the nerve to come slaughter us all.

They left the old man at the bar as they slunk up the street and hid in the weeds in the empty field across from my house as they firmed up their plans.

The old man asked again and again to find out where all the men in white came from. I had nothing to tell him. It took me a while to put it all together—longer than our short ride to the VFW. Besides I was a bit in shock after all he had just told me.

We seldom saw the old man after that, and when we did, his friends would quickly pick him up and drive off. As for the rest of the men if they ever tried again the Lord did not let me be privy to such knowledge.

So, I say it again Praise be to Jehovah Sabaoth, the Lord of Hosts who is our protector.

About the Author | Nancy Tally College Church member Nancy Tally and her husband, Roland, along with their daughter Becca, are involved in the STARS disability ministries. Nancy also participates in Women’s Bible Study.

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GLOBAL VOICES

Meme, Myself and Isolation Health for the Whole Person Christy Otten, MA, LCPC

The internet has been awash with memes about the coronavirus. You may have seen the ones about Isaac Newton: he discovered theories of gravity and motion during a plague— the message clearly being that you can do a lot while staying inside. Then, there are the ones especially for parents—one tells us that while you, as the parent, know this is a crisis, your children may only remember scavenger hunts, family game nights and the immense amount of together time. Imagine the family memories you can create!

If I’m being honest, though, these memes don’t connect with me.

Instead, the meme that asks how bored Isaac Newton must have been during lockdown to actually invent calculus—now that I find relatable. Another that shows a picture of Mary Poppins next to Miss Hannigan from Annie—the contrast between how you feel as a mom on day 1 of quarantine versus day 20—again, completely relatable. All this to say, my time in lockdown has not been impressively productive or full of amazing and creative mom moments. It’s been full of a lot, but not that.

• It’s been full of questions. When? How long? What if?

• Full of frustration. The hard-won progress from those months of language study and relationship building seemingly slip away. The newly enforced isolation only exacerbating the long-felt loneliness of an outsider in a foreign land. It’s been full of tears. Will our long-awaited trip to America, with the promise of donuts and free babysitting be lost? It’s difficult to think about those unfulfilled plans, only compounded by the inability to create backup plans.

• Full of fear. “Mommy, what would happen if I got the “Corolla” virus?” (Sorry, Toyota.)

• Full of discovery. Ah, that’s my natural hair color— disappointingly full of gray!

• Full of repetitive tasks. Here I am, sweeping the floor once again.

• Full of lost sentences. Jeremy and I don’t remember the last full conversation we had without an interruption from a little voice.

• And again, the questions. When will this end? What will life look like after lockdown?

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As Christ followers, we are called to be people of hope. But it can be hard in the middle of strong emotions and so many unknowns to live into that.

While we can and should bring it first to the Lord, I challenge you to also recognize we are living in a situation we are not ultimately created for. God wired us for connection, but right now, much of that connection is limited and often relies on the use of technology. God made us to be productive and fruitful in the world, but circumstances greatly limit our ability to do work as before. Recognize that you may struggle to be healthy at this time, that the lack of balance is going to upset your emotions.

It’s important that we figure out how to be socially distanced, even hurting, in a healthy way.

I love the field of psychology. In particular, I love that my study of psychology only amazes me more about how God has created us. Good psychology ultimately brings me a deeper understanding of Scripture, and a good study of Scripture only points me towards healthy psychology. God has wired us so that all our pieces—the physical, mental, emotional, relational and spiritual—impact one another. You can’t be entirely physically healthy if you are not emotionally, mentally, relationally and spiritually healthy.

And that’s true of each area—one unhealthy area will ultimately negatively impact the other areas. More encouragingly, doing something healthy in any one area can positively impact your whole.

• A physically active body’s brain produces more serotonin which acts as an anti-depressant.

• A thankful heart (or even just a heart trying to think of something to be thankful for) also produces serotonin in the brain.

• Healthy thinking can actually change the body’s biological makeup, increasing longevity and protecting against illness.

And I could go on. As a part of my initial assessment of a client, I often use this premise to identify what area or areas need focus.

Let’s get practical.

How does a self-assessment in light of these areas work? If you’ve ever told yourself to “perk up” then you are aware that it’s very difficult to directly change how you feel through mere force of self-will. Instead, it’s often helpful to access the sphere of our emotions through one of the other spheres. Each day, the goal is to have done something—not necessarily a big thing, but something–to encourage health in each area.

Take some time to identify what tools help you in each area– perhaps a “thoughts” journal for your mental area, a “go-to” physical workout or a familiar spiritual discipline. How can you have a healthy human connection, even if it’s just a WhatsApp message? Sometimes simply naming your emotions is a good exercise. From here, we use the stronger areas to target the weaker. Are your emotions feeling out of control? Try getting a good workout first, then maybe you’ll be able to identify and clarify the negative thoughts that could be driving down your mood. Is your time in the Word feeling stale? Try pausing to talk to God about how you’re feeling.

Giving some attention to your emotions may help clear some obstacles in your spiritual life. Addressing one area in a positive way will start to work its positive effects in the other areas—but be intentional about doing something, even a minor thing, to help each area. Make it your checklist for each day.

Memes aside, there is no definitive advice on how to make it through a pandemic. I think one difference all of us as believers could make is that, even in lockdown, we can strive to be healthy people of hope. Hope doesn’t mean we ignore the hard– grief, disappointment, uncertainty—those things may remain. Our Creator has wired us in such a way that in the midst of all of this, as we seek him and pursue health in all the spheres, he calls us to live in, we can also still experience hope, peace and even joy.

About the Author | Christy Otten, MA, LCPC Christy and her husband, Jeremy, are College Church missionaries serving with WorldVenture to provide theological education and counseling in Europe. They are based in Belgium and have three boys, five-years-old and under.

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BOOK SPOTLIGHT

The Soul in Paraphrase—A Treasury of Classic Devotional Poems

by Leland Ryken

Reprinted with permission of the author. In this phase of responsible reopening, Crossway has provided this link for you to order Leland Ryken’s book at a discount.

O Gracious Shepherd Henry Constable (1562-1613) O gracious Shepherd, for thy simple flock By guileful goats to ravening wolves misled, Who thine own dear heart’s precious blood didst shed, And lamb-like offered to the butcher’s block: O gracious Shepherd, unremoving rock Of succor to all such as thither fled, Respect one of thy flock which followed These curséd goats, and doth repentant knock, To be with mercy taken to thy fold, I know thy grace doth still for wanderers look; I was a lost sheep once; dear Lord, behold, And in compassion take me with thy hook.

In one lost sheep new found, thou dost rejoice; then know they sheep, which know his Shepherd’s voice.

Note on selected words. Guileful: deceitful. Succor: help; assistance; aid. Hook: the shepherd’s crook, used for rescuing the sheep.

Commentary. It is commonplace that most poems are structured on the principle of theme (a central motif) and variation, but rarely is that principle pursued so singlemindedly as in this poem. The sheep-shepherd metaphor for God and his followers is so recurrent in the Bible that is ranks as a major biblical archetype (recurrent master image). Our first impression of this poem is that the poet perused the shepherd references in the Bible and saw how many he could pack into his fourteen-line sonnet. This poem resembles the answers to a Bible memorization quiz.

When we look closely at the poem’s organization, however, we can see that while it is certainly true that the poet put as many Bible passages as possible dealing with God as shepherd into the poem, he did not abandon the poet’s obligation to present a coherent and progressive line of thought. The overall unifying element in the poem is the genre of the prayer, as the speaker addresses God from start to finish. We can say that the poem possesses the logic of prayer. The first six lines are an extended address to God, and we should note that the poet uses the epithet (exalted title) O Gracious Shepherd twice. This unit is a preliminary meditation on the biblical metaphor of God as a shepherd.

The remainder of the poem is a combination of petitions addressed to God and hints of the speaker’s spiritual journey away from God and back to him. The poet makes three petitions, as signaled by the imperative voice of the verbs: respect, take, and know. Together these petitions are a prayer for salvation. The intermingled personal narrative is the story of a wayward sheep rescued by the Good Shepherd.

There are too many biblical references in the poem to the pastoral metaphor of God as shepherd to provide an exhaustive list here, but the following at least should be consulted by anyone wishing to master the poem: Psalm 23; Ezekiel 34; Matthew 25:31-33; Luke 15:3-7; and John 10:1-18.

About the Author | Leland Ryken College Church member Leland has served as an elder and an elementary Bible school teacher in Kids’ Harbor. He also has served as professor of English at Wheaton College for nearly 50 years.

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MEET YOUR LEADERS Howard & Laurie Costley HOWARD Where I serve: Council of Elders Why I serve: God has entrusted each of us with gifts, talents and experience which we are to use to serve others and advance his kingdom.

Three words that best describe me: dedicated, thorough and sentimental My favorite hang-out space: wherever Laurie is...usually in our sunroom LAURIE Where I serve: currently as a deaconess, have also served as GriefShare coordinator and with Side by Side Why I serve: I feel called of the Lord to do so and it brings me joy to use my gifts in whatever way I can to encourage the body and bring glory to God. Three words (or so) that best describe me: committed, easygoing, grateful and grace-filled (for what God has done in my life) My favorite hang-out space: our sunroom—bright with great views and noises from outside. I also love to be at Adam’s Park (or anywhere outside) with others and a good cup of coffee.

Tom Futrell Where I serve: Evangelism Committee and Kids’ Harbor Why I serve: I feel most comfortable with three-year-olds Three words that best describe me: passionate, fun loving and, per my wife, “Barnabas,” encouraging.

My favorite hang-out space: out on the rocks on the coast of Maine, or in my backyard with a good book and cigar!

Nate Roe Where I serve: Board of Deacons, co-coordinator for Joint Heirs Adult Community Why I serve: It’s what we’re called to do by Christ, our perfect example of servant-leadership. I also just like to help people when I can.

Three words that best describe me: caring, observant, tall My favorite hang-out space: home with my family or at a cross-country or track meet.

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MEET YOUR LEADERS (continued) Susan Zimmerman Where I serve: Board of Deaconesses, Mom2Mom mentor Why I serve: God calls us to serve. Serving connects us to the body of Christ, and I love the relationships that result.

Two words that best describe me: listener and learner My favorite hang-out space: in our backyard gazebo with my husband, family and friends. And practically anywhere with a cup of coffee!

Suzanne Shirley Where I serve: Kids Korner superintendent, nursery, Buddy Break (STARS), Women’s Bible Study small group co-leader Why I serve: Because I love Jesus and the church (the people)!

Three words that best describe me: organized, artistic, kind My favorite hang-out space: right now, it’s walking or biking the trails

NEW MEMBERS Nara Sary PLACES I’VE LIVED: Originally from Cambodia FAMILY: Nara cared for her husband, Amrind, who was a quadriplegic for 34 years until he passed away in 2015. She has two sons and two grandsons.

9 TO 5: Serves in childcare for World Relief ESL classes PASTTIMES: Besides working with World Relief, she volunteers occasionally at Central DuPage Hospital.

CHURCH INVOLVEMENT: All Nations Adult Community, Women’s Bible Study

Addie Teevans FAMILY: Addie’s parents and younger brother also attend College Church 9 TO 5: Ministry associate for HYACKs leading girls’ discipleship groups, also works as a tutor PASTTIMES: Enjoys reading, running and time with friends and family.

CHURCH INVOLVEMENT: HYACKs, women’s ministry monthly gathering

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LOOKING AHEAD/MILESTONES

College Church Fellowship Meals Friday night supper on August 21 or Saturday morning brunch on August 22 As we begin to reopen, both as a church and as a community, we are excited to announce Fellowship Meals. Meant to provide a friendly, informal and safe means to meet one another, come enjoy a delicious potluck meal and a sweet time of fellowship together.

This isn't a gourmet supper club, but an opportunity to meet new people or strengthen and deepen existing relationships in our College Church family. All ages and backgrounds are welcome. We need both hosts and guests but especially hosts willing to open their homes (or backyards, patios, nearby parks).

Choose a Friday evening supper (for adults only), or a family brunch on Saturday (for families/all ages). These gatherings are for good food, conversation and opportunities to meet more people in our church family. Please sign up at college-church.formstack. com/forms/fellowship_meal_signup to be part of these church fellowship meals!

If you have questions, please contact Jerry Jagrowski at (630) 479-9314 or racharah@sbcglobal.net or Jan Jones at (630) 841-0700 or janjones94950@gmail.com

Condolences • Pray for Julie (Tim) Turner as they grieve the loss of Julie's mother who passed away on June 22 in Raleigh, North Carolina.

• Pray for College Church missionary Susan Perlman whose mother Pearl, passed away on June 18 in California.

• Pray for Don Childs and family as they grieve the loss of Don's wife, Carol, who passed away on June 16.

• Pray for Deanna Chase as she grieves the loss of her mother who recently passed away.

Take advantage of events—some one-time, some ongoing—that are taking place around town this month.

Also, keep Connections in mind to promote a community event to the College Church family.

Send event information by the following dates to connections@college-church.org.

For the August issue: July 7 | For the September issue: August 7 | For the October issue: September 7 Connections is a monthly newsletter published for and about the people of College Church.

Send news items and suggestions to: connections@college-church.org.

332 E. Seminary, Wheaton, IL 60187 • Phone: (630) 668-0878 • www.college-church.org Our Pastors, Directors and Residents: Eric Channing, pastor of congregational care and family ministries | Cheryce Berg, director of children’s ministries | Julie Clemens, director of disability ministries | Erik Dewar, pastor of worship and music | Zach Fallon, senior high pastor | Dan Hiben, junior high pastor | Tim Hollinger, technology director | Diane Jordan, director of visitation and care | Howard Kern, facilities director | Josh Maurer, pastorial resident | Curt Miller, missions pastor | Josh Moody, senior pastor | Ben Panner, college pastor | Mindy Rynbrandt, director of women’s ministries | John Seward, executive pastor | Nancy Singer, director of administration and finance | Mike Solis, pastoral resident | Josh Stringer, pastor of discipleship | Wil Triggs, director of communications | Michael Walker, pastoral resident | Jacob Warren, pastoral resident Our Council of Elders: David Bea | Howard Costley | Dave Gieser, vice chair | Randy Jahns| Heinrich Johnsen | Dan Lindquist | Josh Moody, senior pastor | Phil Nussbaum | Tom Nussbaum | Jeremy Taylor | Mark Taylor, chair | Tad Williams | Rob Wolgemuth, secretary

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