RECOVERY

“ADULT LEARNING AND EDUCATION AS A TOOL TO CONTAIN PANDEMICS: THE COVID-19 EXPERIENCE”: AN ARTICLE HIGHLIGHTING THE IMPORTANCE OF LBS

By Pascale Lacelle // Freelance Writer-Editor

The current battle against COVID-19 cannot be won alone. Everyone—communities and all of society—have a role to play.

The relationship between an individual and a group has been emphasized since the beginning of the pandemic, with the actions of one having a direct impact on the lives of all. To reduce the number of new infections, citizens need to take responsibility, but first they need to know how to avoid the snowball effect that each of their actions can have on the people around them. This is why having access to information is crucial in such uncertain times, and understanding such information all the more so. But what happens if a person doesn’t have the basic literacy and numeracy skills needed to understand this information?

This is the topic that is discussed in the article “Adult learning and education as a tool to contain pandemics: The COVID-19 experience,”1 in which authors argue that so-called illiterate or lowliterate adults may be less receptive to education on health issues. This is why adult learning and education (ALE), “especially the promotion of health literacy as part of ALE (which is itself part of lifelong learning), is necessary to enable individuals to make informed health-related decisions.” This article, which appears in the International Review of Education, stresses the importance of understanding ALE “as an inherent element of every national emergency strategy” such as the one we are experiencing today. To have a society that is prepared to respond quickly and fully to a pandemic such as COVID-19, it is essential for its citizens to be properly equipped and well informed. This means having the basic literacy skills—reading, writing, numeracy and computer skills—that will enable them to make informed decisions in such situations.

It goes without saying that the work performed within the Literacy and Basic Skills (LBS) network is important at all times, helping Ontarians find jobs, use online communication tools and get involved with confidence in their communities. However, what is being recognized now is that, in the context of the pandemic, LBS services are becoming essential services. 

1 Henrique Lopes and Veronica McKay, “Adult Learning and education as a tool to contain pandemics: The COVID-19 experience,” International Review of Education 66 (2020): 575-602, https:// doi.org/10.1007/s11159-020-09843-0.

LBS: THE KEY TO ECONOMIC RECOVERY

By Paul Decius // Educator, Centre Moi j’apprends

The impact of COVID-19 on global economies is severe, unprecedented and unparalleled. Industrialized countries, such as the United States of America, Canada and France, among others, are no exception to this shock and, in fact, are the most impacted by this pandemic. These countries, incidentally, are experiencing very high unemployment rates as a result of mass business closures and lockdown measures that have forced people to stay home. In response to these chaotic circumstances, decision-makers around the world who have already learned some lessons from this crisis will be working to get their countries’ economies back on track. It is therefore obvious that the business sector would be an appropriate one to consider in boosting the economic recovery.

The purpose of this article is to demonstrate how the field of Literacy and Basic Skills (LBS) might be a source of supply for organizations, on the one hand, and contribute to stimulating the economy through the continuing education of employees, on the other hand.

LBS: A SOURCE OF SUPPLY FOR ORGANIZATIONS

With everyone’s attention and efforts to be focused on economic recovery, socio-economic stakeholders will need to remain committed to assigning organizations a key role in getting the economy back up again. It is imperative that this strategy, which will help regain momentum, be implemented. Otherwise, we risk falling inexorably into oblivion. When making key decisions, executives will look for actions that will help their organizations bounce back as quickly as possible. In an effort to overcome challenges resulting from this crisis, organizations will also need to better manage their people.

According to Zula and Chermack, human capital management involves the recruitment, selection, allocation and retention of human talent, which are linked to critical strategic objectives, in order to gain a competitive advantage and earn an above-average return on investment.1 Moreover, according to Carmeli and Schaubroeck, in order to develop the efficiency of human resources, executives usually focus their recruitment and selection efforts by employing new forces with a high degree of knowledge, skills and abilities.2 Consequently, executives will definitely be looking for a skilled workforce in these times of global economic crisis.

Nowadays, a skilled workforce must absolutely be comprised of individuals who have a good understanding of information and communication technologies (ICT). In this context, literacy centres, which for more than a decade have been offering their clients good training in ICT, are among the institutions that are ready to provide executives with a qualified workforce. For this reason, LBS will undoubtedly be a source of supply for organizations and will certainly be instrumental for the economic recovery. LBS: AN UNDENIABLE ASSET FOR THE ECONOMIC RECOVERY It is obvious that this health crisis will lead us towards a society and economy that are strongly built on competitiveness and technological advances. In this socio-economic context, employees find themselves compelled to pursue lifelong learning to ensure that their skills are regularly refreshed. Many adults who have not had the chance to graduate from university or college, or whose educational path has been abruptly interrupted due to the pandemic, or who lack the skills to engage in e-learning, will turn to an adult learning centre to upgrade their skills. In addition, adults who have lost their jobs in sectors where the workforce often might not be as educated, such as customer service, and where job losses have been significant, may seek retraining opportunities for employment in another sector. As such, adults become more skilled as they receive training, and organizations that hire them improve their competitiveness and efficiency. In other words, having a good basic education is a major element for better productivity and for ensuring the economic competitiveness of organizations. Since education in general and basic training in particular are undoubtedly at the root of any skilled workforce, it is clear that basic skills training among adults is crucial to economic recovery.

In short, we no longer need to demonstrate how basic skills training among adults promotes the economic, social and cultural development of a country, because by improving a nation’s human capital, basic skills learning centres can help stimulate organizations. From a socio-economic point of view, LBS training not only helps employees to maintain their employability but also enables organizations to increase their performance. This is why LBS training is and will continue to be an essential tool that will help meet current and future

challenges facing the economy. 

1 Nathalie Balthazar, Geneviève Nolin and Christyne Turcot, “La gestion du capital humain : un avantage compétitif durable” (available in French), University of Sherbrooke, Canada (September 2009): 5. https://www.usherbrooke.ca/gef/fileadmin/sites/gef/documents/synthese_projets_recherche/2009_Gestion_du_capital_humain_-_rapport.pdf. 2 Ibid, 8.

FROM CLASSROOM EDUCATION TO REMOTE LEARNING: The Future after COVID-19

By Chantal Hudon // Executive Director, La Route du Savoir

The COVID-19 pandemic has caused unprecedented disruption in the field of Literacy and Basic Skills (LBS), but has given us the opportunity to be resilient and creative. This crisis has shown us that LBS is essential to the learning journey of a person seeking adequate living conditions and opportunities for development within their community. To respond to the pandemic, innovative and effective teaching methods in LBS programs have been developed. Through virtual education, La Route du Savoir has been able to continue its operations without interruption since the beginning of the pandemic.

Aside from events, it was essential for us to preserve the interest of learners in their education. Our organization is not simply a means of acquiring knowledge. For our learners, it is also a space for social relations and peer interaction. This is why we needed to encourage our learners to stay motivated and continue the workshops they were enrolled in. This essential connection with La Route du Savoir is also an opportunity for learners to develop new skills, including soft skills.

Like many other learning centres in Ontario, we took the necessary steps to overcome the crisis we were all facing. From the very beginning, interventions with learners played a key role in the continuity of our service delivery. During this period when we had to maintain a social and physical distance from one another, our ways of doing things and our interpersonal relationships were greatly disrupted. Some older or less educated learners felt helpless when confronted with these new standards. Others found it difficult to cope with the pandemic, which not only caused worry but more importantly anxiety and distress. The educator at La Route du Savoir, Julie Brisson, needed to do her best to reassure them that their fears were normal and that everyone had to deal with the changes and guidelines, and to show resilience.

It took us two weeks to develop a game plan to move entirely to virtual learning and to convince our learners that they could do it. The educator spent time explaining and demonstrating how learners would continue their education remotely. We were able to use online tools to make a number of our services available to our clients and to ensure that all our learners felt comfortable taking part in this initiative. On a weekly basis and in a virtual setting, we provided group training, individual follow-ups and ensured that the learners’ socio-cultural life was maintained. All groups have continued to meet. We even managed to register new learners, and two of our clients found jobs.

This approach should continue for some time to come, since many of our clients are worried about the future and have demonstrated that they are capable of engaging in online learning. In order to keep our focus on quality education, we need to consider teaching methods in a post-COVID-19 era. This is why Julie Brisson has designed a brand new workshop entitled Adieu au stress, à l’angoisse et à l’anxiété [Goodbye Stress, Worry and Anxiety] (available in French), which can be taught both virtually and in class. This workshop is inspired by her interactions with learners during the pandemic. It was created solely to help people who suffer from these difficult circumstances as well as those who have suffered the consequences of isolation. We strongly recommend it while the lockdown is being lifted and also for anyone who is struggling with anxiety and distress in their daily life.

This new workshop and teaching method allow a greater number of learners to register for quality education offered at La Route du Savoir. Ms. Brisson is the recipient of the Prix d’andragogue émérite 2019 (2019 Distinguished Adult Educator Award) from the Coalition ontarienne de formation des adultes, and has also received positive feedback from clients and health professionals about the quality of her workshop Affrontez vos émotions [Facing Your Emotions] (available in French), which she created last year. In order to meet our clients’ expectations in terms of education, we are continuing to increase and diversify our remote learning programs. We will, however, continue to explore the possibility of adding classroom courses during the year, if circumstances allow us to do so safely.

The challenge today is to minimize the impact of the pandemic on learning and to build on this experience as we move forward. The objective is twofold: to continue to manage the current crisis and to reflect on ways to develop robust and effective educational systems to ensure that each learner receives a quality education. 

MOVING BEYOND BASIC LEARNING

By Julie Brisson // Educator, La Route du Savoir

How can we better meet the true needs of learners?

For years now, I have regularly asked myself this question. Yes, French, math, computing and other subjects are important, but the needs of learners in the Kingston area are often quite different from those of learners elsewhere. Since we are predominantly dealing with level 3 learners, I saw the need to adjust our programs a bit and use my creativity to make people want to enroll in the other courses offered at our centre. But how did I do this?

The reality for adults moving towards literacy and basic skills education is very different from that of primary and secondary school students. Beyond the need for training or skills upgrading, we often notice a deeper malaise among these adults than what seems to be apparent: lack of self-esteem, worry, stress, anxiety, difficulty asserting themselves and expressing their emotions, and so on. How can we really learn when we are lacking soft skills? These skills are sometimes undervalued, yet they are essential for coping with everyday life. This is why I have begun to develop a series of workshops aimed at better equipping learners to become the best version of themselves.

Why am I telling you all this, you may ask? Well, because it turns out that over the past few months, faced with the magnitude of the COVID-19 pandemic, our centres have had to rethink their teaching activities and explore new avenues in terms of educational support for learners. Many challenges had to be met and many positives came out of all this madness. The free webinars, online training and the Communauté de partage meetings organized by the Coalition ontarienne de formation des adultes have provided great learning opportunities for

literacy and basic skills educators, and many have learned about new technologies. Through the crisis, we have seized opportunities to build stronger ties within our network and share resources.

Last June, I had the opportunity to deliver my workshops to the Communauté de partage, and as a result, a new partnership between La Route du Savoir and the Centre Moi j’apprends was formed. It is for this reason that I am talking to you about my workshops, to inspire you to develop such workshops and partnerships within your own centres or even to inspire you to register your learners for one of the online training courses that we have developed here. Below is a short description of these workshops.

One of the most pressing needs that I have helped learners identify in my early days is a lack of self-esteem. This is why I developed my first workshop, Estime de soi [Self-Esteem] (available in French), which a few years later became Actualisation de soi [Self-Identity] (available in French). This personal development workshop covers a variety of topics and is designed to help learners gain awareness about their lives and, most importantly, discover who they really are. Through readings, reflections, exercises, videos and discussions, the workshop allows learners to first get to know themselves better, then to review their values, needs, desires, beliefs, and more.

The difficulty in communicating is another personal development need that I help my clients with. We all know that poor communication is at the root of most of our problems, both on a personal and professional level. This is why I created the Action communication [Action Communication] (available in French) workshop, where we explore communication tools and strategies to promote better communication. Several topics are covered, such as the importance of setting limits and saying no, persuasion, empathy, reformulation techniques, constructive criticism and many others.

The next workshop was suggested by one of my older learners. She was looking for tips on how to improve her memory. Some of my clients are older and a number of them express a fear of developing Alzheimer’s or dementia. So the workshop Développer et optimiser sa mémoire [Developing and Optimizing your Memory] (available in French) was created. The first part of the workshop is a little more theory-based; we explore the biology of the brain and how it functions. In the second part, we discuss the things to focus on and the things to avoid for the proper functioning of our brain.

And ultimately, my favourite workshop is Affrontez vos émotions! [Facing Your Emotions] (available in French). Why do we have emotions? It is important to know how to recognize them, but we have never really learned how to do so. Our society has taught us to repress and hide our emotions and we are constantly saying that we need to learn how to manage them, but is that really the best thing for our emotional health? This workshop was designed to raise awareness among learners about the importance of listening to the message our emotions are revealing to us, as well as how to live and express our emotions. Through activities, readings, videos and discussions, we see the impact that unexpressed emotions can have on our mental, physical and emotional health, as well as ways to make these emotions our allies.

Lastly, my latest workshop, which is still being developed, is called Adieu au stress, à l’angoisse et à l’anxiété [Goodbye Stress, Worry and Anxiety] (available in French). COVID-19, this crisis that brings so much uncertainty and fear, and causes a lot of stress, anxiety and worry for many, inspired me to create this workshop, and I think of it positively. This new workshop will be offered starting this fall to help people discover techniques to calm down and overcome difficult situations. We will see the effects that stress, anxiety and fear have on our lives and how we can use these “negative feelings” as a stepping stone to personal growth.

In closing, I’d like to conclude with a thought: what if COVID-19 is a driving force that takes adult learning to another level? What if in all this uncertainty hides a great opportunity for your centre to do more, to help more learners? Apart from the personal benefits that your learners will gain by attending one of these workshops, or a similar workshop that you might develop, I think we’re going to see great progress in the field of adult learning and e-learning. The strength of our network lies in sharing our ideas, our resources and our workshops, now more than ever.

If you would like more information on any of these workshops, please do not hesitate to contact me. 

Relationships:

THE NEW ECONOMY IN LIGHT OF THE PANDEMIC

By Chantal Binet // President, Leadership d’impact

We were all hit hard by the new coronavirus. With the lockdown and its impacts, we lost our sense of security, our landmarks, our cruising speed, our habits and our sense of familiarity. As a result, every day since last March, we have had to adapt, cope with new constraints, and are facing a future that is more blurred than ever.

We have undoubtedly been strongly shaken emotionally. But any crisis or period of chaos is also an opportunity to explore new possibilities (poorly presented, I admit!) that are available to us: the courage to look inward, to examine our lifestyles and values, to revisit our true priorities and reinvent ourselves, to realize how important relationships are, especially at such a time. In fact, what has helped us get through these last few months has been our level of emotional connection with our loved ones, our peers, our employees, our clients, even if, very often, our conversations were only virtual. When we’re in survival mode, we need others to help us get through the situation faster and with as few consequences as possible. We need to come together, consciously or unconsciously, virtually or in person, as we seek a sense of unity to feel stronger against the unknown and the unexpected.

All these observations lead me to say that now, the new economy that will help organizations do well and grow even stronger than before the pandemic will be strengthened by the relationships we maintain with our networks.

It is because of our emotional connection with the staff at our favourite restaurants that we wanted to encourage them. It is because of our emotional connection with our personal and professional networks that we were able to soften the learning curve we continue to face today. It’s because of the emotional connection that entrepreneurs, executives and managers have with their employees that they can and will be able to better cope with the coming months, which will not be easy. And it is because of the quality of the relationship we have been able to maintain with ourselves (or not) that this crisis has had less (or more) emotional and physical impact on us. Finally, it is the quality of our relationship with ourselves, when properly nurtured, that will drive us to have a positive impact in our own lives, in the lives of our loved ones, and in the lives of our colleagues.

These challenging times have also provided an opportunity for each of us to realize what brings out the best and the worst in us and those around us. We have evolved, as a Canadian society, as a nation that knows how to support itself, that abides by the rules, and that can use creativity and innovation in order to “survive.”

Given that cases are newly on the rise around the world and that we seem to be entering a second wave, it is the ideal time to look inward and to assess whether our “new” values of solidarity, cooperation and leadership will pass the test of the fears and frustration accumulated since the beginning of this pandemic. Fear and anger are always bad counsellors. We need to be careful not to get caught up in the negative emotions of those around us who may lack emotional maturity.

We are sensitive to other people’s energy, often without even realizing it, which means that we are easily affected by people’s moods and the tone in which they express themselves. So it is more important than ever to be mindful of ourselves and our own emotional intelligence and maturity in order to give ourselves the ideal conditions and tools to remain strong, confident and a positive leader who acts as a resource and is part of the solution rather than feeling powerless against the threat and constant changes that COVID-19 is imposing on us.

The coming weeks and months will be defined by one constant: change. When you think about it, constant change was

NOW, THE NEW ECONOMY THAT WILL HELP ORGANIZATIONS DO WELL AND GROW EVEN STRONGER THAN BEFORE THE PANDEMIC WILL BE STRENGTHENED BY THE RELATIONSHIPS WE MAINTAIN WITH OUR NETWORKS.

already part of everyday life before this crisis. On a smaller scale and probably with less widespread impacts, but it was there. It’s just that now, change seems greater because it’s meant to “guarantee” our physical and financial well-being.

The coming months and years will require us to create even stronger, more genuine and lasting relationships if we are to make this pandemic a positive way forward for ourselves, our families, our businesses, our employees, our customers, our communities and our society. With the challenges that lie ahead of us, let’s exercise impactful leadership: let’s listen, be patient, be accommodating, rethink our expectations, manage our fears, be brave and take care of ourselves and our relationships.

Even if everything is not alright and nothing is or will be perfect, let us be grateful for what will be alright and let us be open and curious to find easier ways to reinvent our old habits and reflexes from before the pandemic, which are now obsolete. Indeed, we may feel that we have lost a lot because of COVID-19. Nevertheless, we have just as much to gain, if not more, in bringing quality relationships back to the core of our personal and professional lives for a stronger health, economy and society.

What do you need in the coming months to actively and positively contribute to the prosperity of your organization through relationships? 

MANAGING EMOTIONAL Distress

By Pascale Lacelle // Freelance Writer-Editor

If there were one word to describe the last few months, it would be “uncertainty.” And with so much uncertainty in a situation as extreme as COVID-19, it is normal for our mental health not to be at its best. That’s why it’s more important than ever to pay special attention to how we are feeling. Knowing how to deal with the strong emotions that jostle us—anxiety, distress, anger, helplessness—is a key skill to help us get through these challenging times. The “Tolerance for Uncertainty: A COVID-19 Workbook, A Guide to Accept Your Feelings, Tolerate Distress, and Thrive,” written by Dr. Sachiko Nagasawa, is designed to help us develop these skills.

This article provides an overview of each of the five chapters in this essential and informative resource, which also includes reflective exercises that can be used to be more tolerant with regards to the uncertainty in our lives.

UNDERSTANDING EMOTIONAL DISTRESS AND WELLNESS PLANNING

From the outset, this guide emphasizes the importance of understanding the emotions that guide our behaviours and listening to these emotions to better manage them. To do so, we must avoid emotional escape strategies into which we can easily fall, such as avoidance, repression, anger, withdrawal, and instead adopt healthy coping strategies, which are presented in this chapter.

EMOTIONAL REGULATION

To be able to control and influence how we express our emotions, we must first recognize and understand them. This chapter includes a wheel of emotions to help us become aware of what we are feeling and various emotional regulation systems that can be helpful.

RADICAL ACCEPTANCE

COVID-19 is a new reality and, rather than fighting against it, we should accept it. Acceptance is important when we are facing a situation that exceeds our comprehension. In this chapter, we learn that some things are out of our control and some situations are unchangeable. We must accept this, while becoming aware of what we can control and what we can change.

IMPROVING EMOTIONAL DISTRESS

Accepting and improving distress are two very different things. To increase distress tolerance, it is important to maintain a balance between the two. We must accept our new reality as well as calm our emotional reaction to it. In this chapter, we learn how to ease distress by performing activities that allow us to be active, and soothe and distract ourselves.

SELF-COMPASSION

Self-compassion is closely related to our mental health and well-being. To show self-compassion, we must live in the present (practice full awareness), show kindness to ourselves, and recognize that everyone has faults and can evolve. To demonstrate the skills and concepts presented in all five chapters, an action plan to improve our well-being is included at the end of the article.

We invite you to read Tolerance for Uncertainty: A COVID-19 Workbook, a valuable and interesting resource that can help you create benchmarks during these uncertain times, at the following link: https://bit.ly/3dIuZMp. 

Communication: THE KEY TO HAVING AUTHENTIC AND SATISFYING PROFESSIONAL RELATIONSHIPS

By Monika Salek // Professional Coach, Esprit Korzen and Marion Séré // Educator in Communication and Conflict Resolution and Mediator

For months now, the current crisis has disrupted our habits, emotions and behaviours. Many changes put in place to help us adjust to this new reality are forcing us to reinvent our daily lives in order to preserve what is most precious to us: our health.

At a time when the mental health and well-being of employees are of concern to a growing number of organizations, it is difficult to predict what the real consequences of these events will be on the psychological health of individuals. Employers who seek to preserve the strong performance of their teams are in search of successful strategies for the common good. By choosing to value an organizational climate that allows individuals to show their vulnerability and to be authentic, employers help create a more pleasant and productive work environment through creativity and connection. This is demonstrated by the study conducted by Mark Fotohabadi and Louise Kelly, which was published in the Journal of General Management. Indeed, authenticity promotes productive and positive conflict resolution through active and constructive behaviours. Moreover, this emotional capacity seems to reduce the likelihood of burnout by allowing individuals to recognize and effectively manage stress.

As such, conscious and responsible communication can play a key role in maintaining authentic and healthy professional relationships, as it is the foundation of any relationship, and we communicate whether we are aware of it or not. All of our behaviours, both verbal and nonverbal, reflect our experiences, perceptions, needs and emotions. They reflect what is going on inside us and constantly influence the quality of our relationship with both ourselves and others. This is why getting to know ourselves better provides the opportunity to understand our way of interacting and its impact on those around us. In the same way, we can change, with benevolence, what no longer suits us by using our strengths to experience satisfying relationships and be happier.

By developing our interpersonal skills, we can also prevent conflict and learn how to better manage it. The nonviolent communication process, founded by Marshall B. Rosenberg, enriches these skills. This approach, which is presented here, opens up the dialogue needed for exchange in order to bring more understanding, empathy, authenticity and connection to our way of communicating.

NONVIOLENT COMMUNICATION PROCESS

Importance of Facts When a conflict arises out of a difference in perception, taking time to reflect on factual events helps to reframe and calm the situation. Stepping back and untangling the facts of the story being told also rebuilds the bridge between people who are in conflict—at least we can agree on the events.

Feelings Next, we can ask ourselves: what emotions does this event trigger in me? It’s important to ask this question because our emotions are normal and legitimate. They are also a signal that a reaction to a stimulus is triggered, whether it is pleasant or unpleasant.

Understanding the Reason Behind the Emotion We can then ask ourselves why we are feeling these emotions. For example: “Is it really because the meeting is postponed to next week that I feel so upset?” If that were the case,

CHOOSING NONVIOLENT COMMUNICATION AS A MODEL OF COMMUNICATION CAN TRULY TRANSFORM THE WAY WE LOOK AT LIFE.

everyone would react the same way all the time when a meeting is postponed. But that’s not the reality: some people might be relieved, especially if their schedule is already overloaded. The event is actually an external stimulus. It’s not the cause of our emotions. Rather, the emotion we feel is a signal for something deeper within us, the expression of an intrinsic need, value or desire. A pleasant emotion signals a fulfilled need, while a rather unpleasant emotion signals a lack, something inside us that requires attention.

Empathy for Others When we become aware of what creates a reaction in us, of our needs, something calms down and relaxes in our body. We recognize the legitimacy of our reaction and we understand its origin. We have more inner space to look at the situation with a step back. Thus, instead of getting angry or remaining angry at the person with whom we are in conflict, we can instead look at their point of view. What has happened to them? What emotions were triggered in them and why? What were they trying to achieve when they chose to act this way? We hypothesize because we can never be sure what the other person is feeling. And even if their strategy doesn’t suit us, we can understand their potential needs. This process of understanding the origin of our emotions, beyond the initial stimulus, is neither psychotherapy nor the fact of wanting to analyze others and be superior. It is rather a question of understanding our true motivations, those that push us to act, those that make us react, because it is from this understanding that we stop seeing the other person as an enemy and that we can see the human being in front of us. We are also capable of taking responsibility and acting as such.

Moving Towards Change: Making Requests Following this inner process, we will find it easier to express to the other person what was difficult for us and to listen to them. This increases the chances of having a true and constructive dialogue that leads to concrete actions. And if we make requests to the other person, they should be clear and achievable so that they know what they are saying yes or no to.

In the following section, we describe a situation that has the potential to degenerate and see how we can address it if we put on these new glasses that is the process of nonviolent communication. We invite you to find a difficult situation you have experienced involving another person and do the same work as in our example. Your situation may be a comment that was made to you or a “no” that you received and that still evokes anger, sorrow, frustration, or “unpleasant” emotions. Scenario Marion finishes writing a project report and asks her colleague to review it. After reading it, her colleague responds, “That’s not right. This section of the report is incomplete!” Frustrated, Marion thinks to herself, “My colleague criticized my work again, as she does every time I show it to her. She is unable to recognize and value the work of others and that completely discourages me! I don’t want to work with her anymore!”

Observation Is Marion’s colleague really criticizing her work “every time”? What are the objective facts here? What story is Marion telling herself that perhaps amplifies her reaction?

Feeling What emotions are elicited in Marion when she hears this comment from her colleague? How does she feel? For Marion, the signal is a great frustration: does she feel frustrated because her colleague is criticizing her work? Or is the source of her frustration somewhere else? By taking the time to stop for a few minutes, to look at the situation and her emotions with curiosity and sincerity, Marion realizes that she feels frustrated because she would like to be recognized for putting her heart and soul into her work and would like her efforts and skills to be seen for what they are worth.

What is your situation? What does the emotion you are feeling tell you about yourself; what does it signal to you?

Empathy for Others By addressing where her emotions are coming from, Marion now has the clarity and openness to look at the situation from her colleague’s perspective. What happened on her end? Marion speculates: she knows that her colleague has read the full report and may feel stressed that a section is, in her opinion, incomplete. Does she feel pressure to be seen well by her superiors? Could it be that she wants to be reassured about her place in the team, in her work?

Can you do the same for your situation? Look with curiosity at what need the other person has tried to express, perhaps awkwardly.

Dialogue and Request Once Marion expresses what upset her and hears what is important to her colleague, beyond the comment that hurt her,

she may want to let her colleague know how she would like to receive feedback and comments on her work in the future.

What would you like to ask yourself or the other person?

As you can see, this type of communication requires us to take some time to reflect in order to act rather than react, thus increasing our chances of maintaining satisfactory relationships. It works even when our interlocutor is not initiated to this approach. It allows us to become a responsible, authentic and empathetic leader of dialogue for the benefit of the relationship, while remaining coherent with ourselves.

Choosing nonviolent communication as a model of communication can truly transform the way we look at life. The awareness that accompanies it guides us step by step towards a better version of ourselves where authenticity, kindness and connection become solid foundations of our personal and professional relationships. In an era where telework contributes to work-family balance, on the one hand, and isolates us from the rest of the world, on the other, getting to know ourselves better, building on our strengths and developing new relational skills helps us maintain balance and make informed decisions. There are many opportunities to choose the impact we want to have in our lives and, by extension, preserve our health. 

REFERENCE:

Fotohabadi, Mark, and Louise Kelly. “Making Conflict Work: Authentic Leadership and Reactive and Reflective Management Styles.” Journal of General Management 43, no 2 (2018): 70-78. DOI:10.1177/0306307017737363.