TIPS Magazine Issue 08

COECT EXCLUSIVE MAGAZINE

T.I.Ps

Trauma Informed Parents IN THIS ISSUE:

Let’s talk Developmental trauma Meet David -Why a child may struggle with school How to go from Putting Out Fires to Finding Joy in Your Parenting Photo: ©Coect via canva.com

ISSUE No.8 March 2024

Sensory Issues and PTSD? It can happen to parents too!

WHAT'S ON? Round up of CoECT events

Unravelling the Tension: How Massage Therapy Can Help Reduce Stress

In this issue CoECT News

Page 1

Editor's Note

Page 2

Meet the Team!

Page 3

How to go from Putting Out Fires to Finding Joy in Your Parenting.

Page 4

The Simple Guide to Developmental Trauma

Page 6

Sensory Issues and PTSD? It can happen to parents too!

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Unravelling the Tension: How Massage Therapy Can Help Reduce Stress and Improve Well-being

Page 9

What's on Where? – Events and Connections

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Relieve the symptoms of compassion fatigue, including burnout.

Page 16

Ask the Experts

Page 17

Meet David - Why a child may struggle with school

Page 18

Trauma-Informed Qualifications

Page 19

NATP Viewpoint

Page 20

www.coect.co.uk

To advertise with us contact: tips@coect.co.uk ISSUE 8

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Fostering News

COECT NEWS 2024 Conference News We are delighted to announce that our Annual Conference for 2024 will be held on Thursday 20 June. The theme of this year's conference is going back to the basics of Therapeutic Parenting and is called “The Essential Tools of Therapeutic Parenting".

As it will be a virtual conference this year, you can join us from the comfort of your own sofa. So, grab a warm drink and join us for an exciting and informative event.

You can find more information by clicking on the link or scanning the QR code https://tinyurl.com/yaewvn2s

Therapeutic Parenting Awareness Day

Wow, what a wonderful day it was! On Wednesday 6th March, we celebrated our first ever Therapeutic Parenting Awareness Day and The National Association of Therapeutic Parents’ 7th Birthday! We were so happy to share this special occasion with over 100 people who joined us for our live-streaming event. It was amazing to see so much interest and support for therapeutic parenting.

As a special birthday treat, we revealed our new NATP Training service, which will offer members more opportunities to learn and grow as therapeutic parents.

Read on to find out more about this exciting news...

Groundbreaking News for SAfER Fostering!

SAfER Fostering are pleased to announce that, in a groundbreaking move, they are going to be providing private health care for the children and foster parents in their agency.

They are also welcoming in Springtime with the re-opening of their caravan, which foster families in the agency have the opportunity to use for weekend and holiday breaks.

Keynote and Training Our trainers have been all over the country in the past few weeks delivering training including: Healing Children Through Therapeutic Parenting Sarah Naish and Sarah Dillon have been in Hull training an organisation in Healing Children through Therapeutic Parenting, and they are looking forward to their Conference in the upcoming months.

Trauma-informed Teaching - Head Teachers conference Portsmouth Sarah Naish and Sair Penna had the pleasure of speaking at the Portsmouth Head Teachers Conference delivering an overview of Trauma-Informed Teaching and how it can be implemented into educational settings.

NATP Training Are you ready to learn how to support children and young people who have experienced trauma?

NATP is excited to announce its new training service, which offers trauma-informed training to organisations, parents and professionals. Whether you work in education, health, social care or any other sector, you can benefit from this service and gain valuable skills and knowledge. Don't miss this opportunity to make a difference in the lives of those who need it most. To find out more on this new service turn to page 20.

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Editor’s Note Greetings to All, This month, NATP celebrated its 7th anniversary, and time seems to have flown by. Over these 7 years, NATP has provided invaluable support to numerous families facing significant challenges. This success is largely attributed to our dedicated team of volunteers who offer peer support through hosting Listening Circles and providing empathetic ears. Happy Birthday NATP! In this edition, we welcome back Jessica Spenceley, a Therapeutic Social Worker who will delve into transitioning from managing crises to discovering joy in your parenting journey.

She will share strategies to enhance the bond and understanding between parent and child.

Sarah discusses ‘The Simple Guide to Developmental Trauma’, emphasising the necessity for all involved in a child's life to communicate and collaborate effectively. How addressing underlying issues before tackling more complex matters can prevent conflicts and challenges, leading to improved outcomes for the child. Sarah also sheds light on her personal experiences in the article titled ‘Sensory Issues and PTSD’.

In our wellbeing segment, Nicola Crabb, a skilled massage therapist, elaborates on how massage therapy can alleviate chronic stress. She explores how using professional massage techniques and aromatherapy oils, we can release pent-up stress and effectively manage our stress levels.

Gareth Thomas, a seasoned therapeutic foster parent, offers insight into the reasons behind a child displaying challenging behaviour at school and stresses the significance of educators understanding the root causes of such behaviours.

We also recap COECT events and training opportunities, featuring a special piece from NATP introducing their new training service.

As Easter approaches, we wish you a calm and positive start to Spring and the Easter holidays.

Take Care,

Sair, Sarah, and The Team at The Centre of Excellence in Child Trauma ISSUE 8

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Meet the Team!

The Centre of Excellence in Child Trauma is made up of a team of experts who have essential real-life experience. We are Adopters, Foster Parents and Bio parents of neuro diverse children, and also work as professionals in the field.

Executive Editor - Sarah Naish

Executive Editor - Sair Penna

Sarah is a Therapeutic Parent, an Adopter of five siblings, former Foster Parent, retired Social Worker, Best selling international Author, Keynote Speaker and founder of three Independent Therapeutic Fostering Agencies.

Sair (Sarah) is a Therapeutic Parent, Trainer, and Therapeutic Parenting Coach. Director of NATP, The Haven Parenting and Wellbeing Centre and Inspire Training Group and works across CoECT supporting families.

Managing Editor - Kathryn Talbot

Contributor - Emma Edwards

Kathryn works across CoECT, specialising in communications and public relations.

Contributor - Sarah Dillon

Sarah is a Therapeutic Parent, an Attachment Therapist, Keynote speaker, former child in care, Author (Therapeutic Parenting) Head of Therapeutic Services (Fostering).

Contributor - Jessica Spenceley

Jessica is a therapeutic social worker with over 20 years experience of helping adoptive parents navigate their parenting journeys using the attachmentbased trauma informed parenting approach of TBRI®.

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Emma is a Therapeutic Parent, Adopter, Director of NATP and The Haven Parenting and Wellbeing Centre.

Contributor - Nicola Crabb

Nicola is a holistic massage therapist with over 10 years experience.

Focusing her efforts on women's health and well being Nicola has developed a unique method using a combination of tried and tested techniques to offer a tailored service to her clients including relieving the symptoms of stress and compassion fatigue.

Contributor - Gareth Thomas

Gareth has been a single foster parent to three children for seven years, and has volunteered with children for fourteen years. He is currently studying for a degree in psychology, with a view to becoming an educational psychologist.

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How to go from Putting Out Fires to Finding Joy in Your Parenting Written by Jessica Spenceley

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arenting a child who has experienced early adversity and trauma can be tough. It can feel like you’re grasping for ideas and strategies that can help, but

not getting the actual help you need. It can feel like most of your time is spent putting out fires and doing damage control. The joy you hoped to feel as a parent only comes in small glimpses that are hard to hold onto.

However, it doesn’t have to be this way.

The therapeutic parenting approach of Trust-Based Relational Intervention® (TBRI®) can help you to create helpful shifts in your family so that you can feel more joy. There are many ways that TBRI® can support you Photo: ©Coect via canva.com to do this, and a great place to start is with the Connection Principles. The Connection across. So, even if your child is a teen and doesn’t want to play, you can Principles offer you many strategies, and still approach them playfully. my go to ones are Playful Engagement, Behaviour Matching, and Healthy Touch.

Behaviour Matching Behaviour matching is a really easy Playful Engagement way to connect with your child. If So many of the challenges faced by the your child is sitting on the floor with parents I work with are around how to their legs crossed, you would sit on manage their child’s trauma-based the floor with your legs crossed. If responses. As a starting point, we always begin with playful engagement because it your child is talking to you about helps children to increase trust and reduce something with a serious tone, you fear-based responses. It’s also very easy to would respond using the same kind of tone. See, you’re matching them. implement. All you need to do is get down on the floor and play with your child, or play Behaviour matching might seem overly simple, but the messages a game like Go Fish or Monopoly, or bring behind it are significant. Behaviour out the arts and crafts, or kick around a football in the garden. Playful engagement matching conveys to your child that you see them, that they exist, and is also about your general approach, and that they belong. When you’ve being mindful of how you are coming ISSUE 8

gotten into a challenging pattern with your child, the messaging that behaviour matching offers can help you to reset and get back on track.

Healthy Touch When things get difficult in parenting relationships, touch is often one of the things that lessens (or even stops), and you may not be aware of it. Touch helps you and your child to feel connected to one another, and touch can be a significant way for your child to feel safe and regulated.

There are a lot of ways that you can connect with your child in a meaningful way, not just through hugs and cuddles. You might give your child a high-5, a fist bump, or create a special handshake. You T.I.P'S MAGAZINE

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could affectionately bump shoulders.

As you’re talking to your child, you might sweep their hair out of their face, or lightly touch their cheek. If touch is really difficult for your child, you might just be in physical proximity to them, without making contact.

The strategies in the Connection Principles may seem small, but they can have a big impact on your family.

When you find yourself in a pattern where parenting is hard or where things may even feel stuck, remind yourself to go back to the heart of parenting – connection.

Photo: ©Coect via canva.com

Connection builds trust, helps to disarm fear, and reduces challenging behaviours. The bonus is that when you increase your connection with your child, you feel more positivity and joy in your parenting. It’s a win-win. Start small, and use the connection strategies often.

If you would like to find out more about TBRI® and the Connection Principles, be sure to read The Connected Child by Karyn Purvis, David Cross, and Wendy Lyons Sunshine.

If you would like to experience how TBRI® can help you move forward in your parenting, I would love to welcome you to one of my upcoming courses. Find out how TBRI® could bring additional hope and healing to your family today by visiting https://nurturedbelonging.com/.

Through her company, Nurtured Belonging, Jessica helps adopters create a strong parenting base for their children so that they can heal from early adversity and trauma. Visit her website to learn how you, too, can gain additional insights and skill sets to empower your parenting.

Jessica is also an Associate with The Haven Parenting & Wellbeing Centre

TIPS MAGAZINE SUBSCRIPTION If you have been enjoying our magazine and would like to receive each edition, please email tips@coect.co.uk to set up a subscription Paper subscription - £23.99/year Electronic subscription - free Paper Subscriptions and past editions are also available through the NATP shop: www.naotp.com/shop

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The Simple Guide to Developmental Trauma Written by Sarah Naish

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evelopmental trauma is a complex and often misunderstood issue that has its roots in early childhood experiences. It can be difficult to accept that a child who has been removed at birth may suffer from developmental trauma, but it's important to recognise the impact of what happened both in the womb, as well as after the child was born.

During pregnancy, a child is incredibly sensitive to the environment around them. Exposure to stress, violence, and substance abuse can have a profound impact on their developing brain and nervous system. This can lead to long-term effects on their ability to regulate emotions, link cause and effect, form healthy relationships, and navigate the world around them.

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One of the key factors in developmental trauma is unmet need.

When a child's basic needs for safety, security, and love are not met, (or met sporadically and unreliably), it can lead to a sense of fear partnered with a constant need to seek out safety. For example, if a child was left alone for long periods of time the underlying fear is one of being forgotten about, or being left to go hungry. The behaviours that partner up with this are what some might call ‘attention seeking behaviours’. Actually, they are ‘attachment seeking behaviours’ as the child is driven by fear to keep your focus on them.

As therapeutic parents, it is our responsibility to help these children feel safe and secure, and to understand the root of their behaviours.

It's important to recognise that the effects of developmental trauma may not be immediately obvious, but they can become much more obvious later in life. Sometimes, therapeutic parents can be a bit overly optimistic in the early years, believing there are no effects of developmental trauma, only to find that this surfaces as the child grows.

Dr Bessel Van Der Kolk identified seven different areas which are severely impacted by Developmental Trauma.

The diagram below shows the seven different aspects which are affected on the left. In the middle, the different areas affected in the brain are identified, and on the right, there are some examples of what we might see in our children. Dr Bruce Perry also identified that the Neuro- Sequential model of intervention was important

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to use with children suffering from developmental trauma. Each aspect of the trauma needs to be treated in sequence. For example, we cannot begin to start working on the child’s behaviours in aspect 4, without first addressing the survival behaviours linked to fight/flight in aspect 1.

Difficulty and conflict arise when different people in the child’s lives have unrealistic expectations and work on higher aspects when the lower ones are unresolved. It is vital that the team working with the child understand; 1)Where the child is in their emotional development

2)The extent and impact of their developmental trauma 3)The approach taken by immediate caregivers, IE Therapeutic Parenting .

4)The importance of engaging in a whole team approach 5)The emotional age of the child, IE the developmental stage they are functioning at 6)The overall impact of impulsivity, lack of cause and effect thinking, and the absence of empathy and remorse due to delayed development.

In conclusion, it is important for those involved in a child's life to communicate and work together to ensure that expectations are realistic and any underlying issues are addressed before focusing on higher-level matters. This can help prevent conflicts and difficulties from arising, and ultimately lead to better outcomes for the child.

Want to know more on how to support a child developmental trauma?

Check out the COeCT podcast “How to identify Developmental Trauma Disorder in your child” by clicking on this link https://tinyurl.com/bddfm7vt

The Haven Parenting & Wellbeing Centre focuses on providing support to families during challenging times. Specialising in addressing child-to-parent violence and alleviating symptoms of compassion fatigue.

Visit www.thehavencentre.co.uk for more information.

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Sensory Issues and PTSD? It can happen to parents too!

Written By Sarah Naish

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hen I was diagnosed with PTSD a few years ago now, I was very surprised. I spoke to my friends about it. They all work in the field of child trauma and they looked at me as if I had become quite stupid.

Now I'm not saying that the level of trauma I have is anything like my children's. I am lucky that i had a secure childhood. But I never realised that if I adopted children who had had a very difficult start in life that I would kind of ‘catch’ some of their stuff!

It's quite insidious at first to be honest. It's only looking back now that I realise that I never used to jump when other people jumped. I didn't used to overreact to loud noises in cafes or people laughing.

But I do now. I think it was because I spent so long anticipating noises and events that might make my children react, that they started having an impact on me!

Often if I used to walk too close to my youngest daughter, or enter a room, she would jump and sometimes throw herself on the floor exclaiming, “Ahh you made me jump,” or something similar. This happened quite a few times with quite a lot of the children.

What I didn't know is that the way the amygdala perceives threat is from the environment and through the actions of others. So when our children's amygdala's are triggered and they are overreacting there's a signal that goes to our amygdala ISSUE 8

Photo: ©Coect via canva.com

“Of course you have PTSD ! How can you not have after everything you experienced while raising your children”?

alerting us to danger. It's not very long before we start feeling very irritated and we may find ourselves exclaiming loudly, “Oh for goodness sake!!”

Recently I visited the town where I raised my children. I hadn't been there for some years. As I walked round the streets, I remembered lots of events happening.

That's where this child got arrested for shoplifting That's the police station I spent a lot of time in That's the pub we had to scrape that child up from after they got drunk That's the place where this child got taken into hospital and we were at the side of the road with the paramedics As I continued round I just felt more and more unwell. My stomach was churning and I had a bad headache. I soldiered on determined to ignore the feelings. I

clothes for example. I remember thinking that I knew why this was happening. I knew there were trauma triggers all over the place. I wondered how this might feel if I were a child? I would have the same feelings in my body but I would have no idea about why it was happening. I thought, “If I was experiencing this and I didn't know why, I would probably lie down on the floor and scream”.

I told my husband how I was feeling and we left the town.

This experience gave me a very valuable reminder about how difficult life is for our children. I can manage my low level PTSD and trauma triggers because I'm very trauma aware. The important thing is to be kind to yourself and to listen to what your body is telling you. If your body tells you to take a break or move away from something then do it.

We don’t have to struggle on regardless.

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Unravelling the Tension:

How Massage Therapy Can Help Reduce Stress and Improve Well-being Written By Nicola Crabb

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Stress can be responsible for autoimmune diseases, chronic pain, mental health problems such as anxiety & depression, personality disorders, ADHD, OCD, weight gain, heart problems, and joint and muscle issues. It can lead to Dementia and Alzheimer’s, or other cognitive and memory issues.

Stress can permeate many areas of life and can halt our ability to enjoy or even remember our favourite things, forget to listen to our favourite music, to dance, to take joy in people, food, activities; sometimes robbing us of years.

Interestingly it takes the body months or sometimes years to regulate itself after a period of stress. Any stress, but particularly prolonged stress can cause massive imbalance in the body.

The positive to our modern society is we are talking more about stress; there is an awareness of how dealing with life stresses can limit the possibilities of dis-ease within the body. The negative is that western society still celebrates stress, who is the most stressed, most rushed off their feet, this toxic ISSUE 8

Photo: ©Branimir76 from Getty Images via canva.com

tress is an underrated cause of many issues we face in life; the breakdown of relationships, jobs, parent child relationships and more. When we are stressed our bodies release hormones cortisol and adrenaline which can flood our system, affecting our hearts, lymph, circulation and muscles, leaving us in a state of fight or flight. Over time this becomes the body’s normal state effecting cognitive function and ability to handle what life throws at us. societal idea is pinning a badge of honour on the ‘most stressed’ person.

Holistic therapy including massage challenges this norm & promotes balance over imbalance. Studies on rest, sleep, diet and self care (massage) are proving ever more that these elements in balance are imperative for a healthy mind and body both short and long term, quality of life is in the spotlight right now.

Massage in particular, has shown some interesting results in managing stress levels and preventing it from becoming chronic or developing in to something more sinister. Regular massage not only eases tight muscles, it aids lymphatic flow, improves circulation & promotes rest and sleep, it encourages detoxification and releases happy hormones bringing the whole body back in touch, connecting what can feel like separate parts together again.

Massaging the feet can affect

the gut, lungs and other internal organs. Massaging hands can relieve tension in the head; we are so intricately connected.

When we recognise this through receiving massage it brings a sense of clarity and mindfulness, encouraging us to make better life choices in general, to have the balanced meal instead of the fries, drink the water before the coffee, massage brings us back to a mindful state. When we are acting in a state of imbalance (stress) we can snowball into negative routines and behaviour patterns such as binge eating, bad sleep and neglecting our minds and bodies.

I can remember in my massage training (many moons ago) learning to warn clients in aftercare that they may become teary, emotional or even temporarily depressed following massage treatment. When I looked deeper into this I began discovering the direct links between massage on stress levels, learning that even a hand on the shoulder can bring stress T.I.P'S MAGAZINE

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release to the human body, I felt the possibilities to treat people using the art of massage were boundless.

Regular massage regulates adrenaline and cortisol at the same time encouraging the body to naturally release happy hormones such as dopamine, serotonin, endorphins and oxytocin, assisting the body to regulate itself and reach homeostasis. I began to see how professional massage, practiced by someone trained in physiology and anatomy could deeply affect the body and mind. Physical touch in massage is proven to have many benefits, when you combine this with the use of oils, in particular aromatherapy oils which have also been used for thousands of years to aid in body balance the results can be life changing. I have focused on this practice for over a decade, combining massage and the careful blend of essential oils to release trapped stress hormones and bring the body back in balance.

Different cultures around the world swear by massage for wellbeing, it is common for family members to massage each other, for elders to pass the skills down through the generations, and for people to come

art and its profound impact on physical and mental well-being in achieving body balance.

Stress can be the root cause of many issues in our lives, affecting our relationships, jobs, and overall well-being. But we don't have to let stress control us. By taking care of ourselves with rest, sleep, diet, and self-care practices like massage, we can find balance and prevent stress from becoming chronic. Massage can do wonders for our bodies, easing tension, improving circulation, and promoting restful sleep. It also helps us recognise the interconnectedness of our bodies and minds, bringing us back to a state of mindfulness.

Photo: ©thehavenparentingandwellbeingcentre.

together for group massage particularly focusing on the vulnerable in their communities their babies, elderly and sick, to keep them in the best health condition possible. Massage, in Western culture, is often viewed either as a luxurious indulgence, cue Instagram images of perfectly placed lotus flowers and expensive spa settings, or as sexual foreplay. This diminishes the true value of massage as an

With the help of professional massage and aromatherapy oils, we can release trapped stress hormones and find true balance in our lives and take control of our stress levels.

You can find more information on Nicola’s Massage Therapy via The Haven Parenting and Wellbeing Centre. www.thehavencentre.co.uk

Tier 4 Package - NATP Peer Support, Wellbeing Portal Access & Training Pass includes: ​

All services included in NATP Tier 1 Peer support Access The Haven's Online Wellbeing Portal and 50% off Havening Sessions Access to The Trauma Revolution Training Pass 50% off NATP Live Training. www.naotp.com/join

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WHAT'S ON? COECT EVENTS March 2024 - May 2024 PEER SUPPORT SGO/KINSHIP VIRTUAL LISTENING CIRCLE SGO/Kinship Carer Virtual Listening Circle Wednesday 20th March 8.00 pm - 9.00 pm https://tinyurl.com/5eaxrnyy

IN-PERSON LISTENING CIRCLES Northamptonshire Listening Circle Thursday 21st March https://tinyurl.com/yrsy2wcw Rugby Listening Circle Tuesday 2nd April https://tinyurl.com/4yxa6khk

INFORMATION SESSIONS FOR NEW VOLUNTEERS Monday 18th March 1.00 pm - 2.00 pm https://www.naotp.com/events/natpvolunteer-information-session-18-3-24 Tuesday 16th April 9.30 am - 10.30 am https://www.naotp.com/events/natpvolunteer-information-session

CORPORATE INFORMATION SESSIONS Wednesday 27th March - 11am https://tinyurl.com/7ehxnad4 Wednesday 10th April – 11am https://tinyurl.com/42pnuhys Wednesday 24th April – 2pm https://tinyurl.com/ptbveb22 Wednesday 8th May – 11am https://tinyurl.com/mwsuayp8 Friday 29th May – 2pm https://tinyurl.com/26n8tb3v

Our volunteers keep us informed about their weekly listening circles. Stay tuned to the events page on the NATP website for details on all upcoming listening sessions.

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WHAT'S ON? COECT EVENTS March 2024 - May 2024 ONLINE TRAINING The A-Z of Survival Strategies Webinars If The A-Z of Therapeutic Parenting: Strategies and Solutions is your roadmap of strategies through to successful adulthood for your children, then The A-Z of Survival Strategies will be your hot flask of tea or coffee and a cosy blanket which will keep you warm, safe and well on your journey!

Join us for our interactive LIVE webinars based on this book, here you will find strategies for essential maintenance as so often we all overlook caring for ourselves!

To book go to https://www.traumarevolution.co.uk/events Attachment Style – Wednesday 6th March, 10:00 - 11:00 GMT In this insightful webinar Laura delves into the crucial concept of attachment style, offering practical guidance for therapeutic parents navigating the complexities of nurturing healthy attachments with their children. This section profoundly equips readers with the tools to understand, nurture, and strengthen crucial parent-child attachments, fostering healing and resilience within the family unit.

Birthdays – Wednesday 13th March, 10:00 – 11:00 GMT In this webinar dedicated to Birthdays you will be looking through the unique challenges and considerations that arise when celebrating birthdays in a therapeutic parenting context. From managing expectations and triggers to fostering a sense of belonging and joy, we will provide valuable insights on how to navigate this important milestone in a therapeutic and supportive manner.

Blame – Monday 18th March, 10:00 – 11:00 GMT In the enlightening session dedicated to "Blame" in Sarah Naish's book, The A-Z of Survival Strategies for Therapeutic Parents, we will guide you through the complex emotions and challenges surrounding the tendency to assign blame in parenting situations. This section of the book serves as a powerful tool for parents, empowering them to break free from the cycle of blame and create a more compassionate and supportive environment for themselves and their children.

Boundaries – Tuesday 26th March, 10:00 – 11:00 GMT Join us for this week’s webinar on Boundaries based on Sarah Naish's book, The A-Z of Survival Strategies. Learn how to establish and maintain healthy boundaries in all areas of your life. Discover practical tips and strategies to protect yourself from burnout and improve your overall well-being.

Now available on Trauma Revolution Training Pass

Catastrophic Thinking - Tuesday 9th April, 10:00 - 11:00 GMT Join us for a webinar on Catastrophic Thinking based on the teachings from Sarah Naish's book The A-Z of Survival Strategies. Learn how to identify and challenge negative thought patterns that lead to catastrophic beliefs and discover practical strategies for overcoming fear, anxiety, and uncertainty. This webinar will provide valuable insights and tools to help you navigate difficult situations with resilience and strength.

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Is your child showing signs of frustration and anger, which is presented in aggression and violence towards you and other family members?

We can give you the de-escalation tools to support your child through their emotional struggles.

Managing Violent Behaviour Training www.naotp.com/training ISSUE 8

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WHAT'S ON? COECT EVENTS March 2024 - May 2024 Trauma Revolution Webinars ONLINE TRAINING Sexualised Behaviour - 28 July, 12:00 – 13:00 BST

Co-Regulation - Monday April, to 10:00 - 11:00 It can be very frightening, even15th horrifying, come acrossGMT a very young child who is, or, appears to be, sexually knowledgeable and active; but ifwebinar we can put our own horror and revulsion andNaish's see what the behaviour is Join us for a transformative onaside Co-Regulation inspired

by Sarah groundbreaking really us, we can at least start off with the right mindset. strategies to regulate your emotions and book,telling The A-Z of Survival Strategies.

Discover practical connect more deeply with others, especially when faced with challenges. Learn how to build Shame – 1 August, 10:00 – 11:00 BST resilience, foster healthy relationships, and navigate difficult situations with grace and compassion.

Join Laura for a one-hour live webinar on Shame. Shame is a powerful and pervasive emotion for children. This webinar will explore the reasons behind shame, how it manifests in children, and strategies for supporting children to overcome debilitating emotion. The will also April, feature10:00 a Q&A where we will Conflicted Feelingsthis and Disempowerment - webinar Monday 22nd - session, 11:00 GMT answer your questions and provide insights into how to help your child.

Join us for a webinar exploring conflicted feelings and disempowerment based on insights from Sarah Naish's book "The A-Z of Survival Strategies." Learn how to navigate through difficult Sibling Rivalry - 10 August, 10:00 - 11:00 BST emotions abecause sense ofour empowerment into your life.and Gain valuable in tools Obsessionsand oftenregain happen children struggle be still 'comfortable theirand ownstrategies skin’ When to help youstill, overcome challenges and thrive. seem Don't bigger miss out thisthem informative and transformative they are the trauma, anxiety and emptiness andon make feel uncomfortable, driven to action and to find a distraction. Join us for this live webinar with many useful strategies surrounding webinar! obsessions.

Doubt and Embarrassment - Thursday 2nd May, 10:00 - 11:00 GMT Join us for a webinar exploring the topics of doubt and embarrasment, based on Sarah Naish's book The A-Z of Survival Strategies. In this session, we will delve into how doubt and embarrasment can impact our lives and relationships, and learn practical strategies for overcoming these challenging emotions.

Empty Nest and Letting Go - Tuesday 7th May, 10:00 - 11:00 GMT Join us for a thought-provoking webinar on Empty Nest and Letting Go, inspired by Sarah Naish's book The A-Z of Survival Strategies. Discover strategies to navigate the challenging transition of your children leaving home and reclaiming your identity in this insightful and empowering session.

Whether you are a parent facing an empty nest or support someone who is, this webinar will provide you with practical tools and guidance to embrace this new chapter of life with grace and confidence. Don't miss this opportunity to learn from Sarah Naish's expertise and connect with others on a similar journey.

Empathy and Empathic Listening - Thursday 16th May, 10:00 - 11:00 GMT Join us for a webinar on Empathic Listening, based on the principles outlined in Sarah Naish's book The A-Z of Survival Strategies. Learn how to truly connect with others by understanding and validating their emotions, thoughts, and experiences. This webinar will provide practical tips and strategies for improving your listening skills and enhancing your relationships. Don't miss this opportunity to cultivate empathy and create deeper connections with those around you.

Essential Maintenance, Wednesday 22nd May, 10:00 - 11:00 GMT Join us for a webinar with Sarah Naish, author of The A-Z of Survival Strategies, as she discusses essential maintenance tips for caregivers and parents of children with complex needs. Learn practical strategies to help you maintain your own well-being while providing the best care for your child. Don't miss this opportunity to gain valuable insights and support from a leading expert in the field.

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Relieve the symptoms of compassion fatigue, including burnout If you're a parent, carer or an individual in a supporting role who is struggling with the emotional toll of compassion fatigue, attending a day retreat might be just what you need. Here are six reasons why you should consider going: 1. Self-Care and Rejuvenation: You can't pour from an empty cup. A day retreat gives you a chance to step back from the daily grind and focus on yourself. By prioritising self-care, you can recharge and feel renewed.

2. Reflection and Awareness: It's easy to get lost in the demands of caregiving. Our retreat provides a quiet and reflective environment where you can explore your thoughts and feelings related to compassion fatigue. By gaining insight into your emotional well-being, you can take proactive steps to improve it.

3. Learn Coping Strategies: You don't have to go it alone. A compassion fatigue day retreat includes a morning workshop led by our practitioners with expertise in the area. You'll learn practical coping strategies to manage stress, reduce burnout, and boost your overall well-being.

4. Connect with Others: It can be isolating to care for others, especially if you feel like no one understands what you're going through. Our Day Retreat provides a supportive community of like-minded individuals who can offer validation, comfort, and companionship.

5. Mindfulness and Relaxation: Being in a constant state of stress takes a toll on your body and mind. At our Day Retreat, you'll have the opportunity to practice mindfulness, meditation, and relaxation techniques. These practices can help reduce stress, boost emotional resilience, and promote a sense of calm.

6. Permission to Rest: We often feel guilty about taking time for themselves. A retreat gives you permission to prioritise your own needs without feeling selfish. By taking care of yourself, you'll be better equipped to care for others.

Attending a compassion fatigue day retreat is a proactive step toward maintaining your wellbeing while continuing to care for others. You deserve to feel supported, renewed, and empowered. To find out more about the day and our upcoming locations go to https://www.thehavencentre.co.uk/dayretreats ISSUE 8

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ASK THE EXPERTS Let our team of experts with first-hand experience, guide you through some of those tricky TIP moments!

SC from Weymouth asks; My adopted son is 7 years old. He literally never sits still. I think he must have ADHD but I don't want him to take medication. What should I do?

Sarah Naish replies I think we have to be very

garden was really great for helping the children to calm.

Consistency, Predictability, Reliability

careful about rushing into diagnosis when

Most importantly, I explained to my children about why

This lowers our children’s fear based behaviours and starts to

we know that our children have

they felt so busy and compelled to move all the

help them to exit fight/flight.

It does take a long time though so

time. I called the adrenaline and cortisol “busy juice”. This

be prepared for that, and start by using nice big visual wall planners

helped my children as they moved into adulthood to keep themselves regulated.

to reduce anxiety.

experienced trauma. As your son is adopted it's very likely that this is indeed the case.

We know that ADHD is often mimicked by children who have experienced trauma, due to the high level of cortisol in their body and the enhanced fight/flight response.

You can read more about strategies in the ‘A-Z of Therapeutic Parenting’, where I speak in depth about this subject.

Do you have a question about a certain behaviour your child displays or a situation which seems tricky? Write in to us via the email tips@coect.co.uk to get your question answered in the Ask the Experts section.

Although sometimes a diagnosis is useful, in many cases therapeutic parenting helps us to really help our children. If we think about the levels of anxiety and ‘busyness’ which is masking the anxiety, we can help our children by making sure we are very clear with routines boundaries and structure.

Visible wall planners help our children to see what is happening next and also lowers anxiety. With my children I used to use a lot of high movement activities. For example, we had a trampoline which they would bounce on that would help them to regulate. We also found that a hot tub in the

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Meet David Why a child may struggle with school Written By Gareth Thomas

He's 12 years old, and he's a bad kid.

He started at his school in Year 7, along with all the kids who moved up from their primary schools. And despite school trying everything, he constantly disrupts the learning of the majority of the kids in his classes.

Quite often, he's rude to school staff. Sometimes he's physically abusive. Some days, he doesn't go to lessons at all.

The staff at school have worked hard to help him. A few have worked tirelessly.

They've had a few nice chats with him, and he runs away. They put him in detention, and he doesn't turn up. They give him isolation, and he just sits there. They exclude for him a day, or two, or three. Nothing works.

He's given lots of negative behaviour points, so he's left in no doubt about being a bad kid.

This seems harsh. But, school say, he has to learn.

“We’re worried about his behaviour.

We fear for his safety. And we have to think of the safety of everyone around him too.”

“It's simple”, school say. “David just needs to behave, listen to the teachers. and do as he’s told.”

David is... defiant.

Only a few members of staff had ISSUE 8

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M

eet David.

the time to read David’s file when he started at school.

Only one remembers what was written. When he was 10, just two years ago, David came into care.

Since then, he's moved to four different foster homes, and three different schools. He's had eight social workers, three IROs, two advocates, and a bunch of other people he can't remember.

He does remember the lady with curly hair, who actually listened. And then she left. He hasn’t seen her since and doesn’t know where she’s gone.

None of the adults David knew six months ago are around anymore.

Not a single person.

He trusts nobody.

Of course he doesn’t.

And he really needs somebody he can trust.

If he could find someone safe, he might start to feel safe.

He might feel calmer more often. He might make a few friends.

And then maybe he might come to school feeling a little positive about the day ahead, despite the unknown

of home.

With a person he can trust he might open up and share why school can be so tough.

He might tell them some of the scary things from his past that he hasn’t told anyone.

He might share that adults hurt him in the past.

He might say he worries he'll be hungry again. And that he doesn't know if his Mum is OK. With someone he really trusts, he might feel safe enough to share what happened when he was 7.

Quick chats won't help David.

Detentions won't help David.

Isolations won't help David.

Exclusions won't help David.

Behaviour charts won't help David.

Relationships, connection, trust, understanding. That's what he needs.

You might see David as an edgecase. The exception to the majority.

There are more Davids than you would like to think.

They all need someone they can trust.

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TRAUMA INFORMED QUALIFICATIONS

At Inspire Training we have a suite of qualifications to support parents and supporting professionals who work with children who have experienced adverse childhood experiences or who display neurodiverse characteristics.

For more information on our suite of trauma informed qualifications go to https://tinyurl.com/yc73vp9z ISSUE 8

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NATP VIEWPOINT New Live Training for NATP!

N

ATP has recently started new in-person training sessions focusing on therapeutic parenting and trauma-informed practice.

These training sessions are

As a member of NATP, you are entitled to a range of benefits, including a 50% discount on all NATP In-person and online live training courses and one free webinar per month. Experienced professionals in the field facilitate the training courses and cover various topics related to therapeutic parenting and traumainformed practice.

By attending these training sessions, you will gain valuable insight, techniques and strategies for supporting children who have experienced trauma. You will also be able to network with other parents facing similar challenges and receive ongoing support and guidance from the NATP community.

Who can benefit from our training?

Parents and supporting professionals, and covers a range of training elements, including core training held quarterly nationwide and online.

Our comprehensive training program is designed to empower parents and supporting professionals with the knowledge and skills they need to make a positive impact in the lives of children and young people. Our core training sessions, held quarterly nationwide and online, cover a wide range of topics including child development, emotional regulation, communication strategies, and mental health awareness. By participating in our program, you will gain practical information and tools

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aimed at providing parents and professionals with the necessary skills and knowledge to support children who have experienced adverse childhood experiences.

to support your child's growth and development and feel confident in your ability to navigate the challenges of parenting and supporting young people. Sign up today and join a community of likeminded individuals dedicated to making a difference in the lives of children and young people.

Core Training The following are the core training courses that will be included: Introduction to Therapeutic Parenting Discover the profound difference between standard parenting and therapeutic parenting through this course. Immerse yourself in the reasons why the children you care for need therapeutic parenting and gain essential knowledge for pursuing further courses related to P.A.C.E, attachment, and the effects of trauma. Let this course be your stepping stone towards understanding the power of therapeutic parenting and its significance in the lives of the children you care for.

Introduction to Attachment This course empowers parents and professionals with the knowledge and insight to understand the critical role of secure attachment in

the earliest years of life.

Participants will gain a deeper understanding of why attachment disorders occur and learn how to identify different types of attachment difficulties and behaviours. Most importantly, you will acquire practical therapeutic parenting strategies to help you provide the nurturing and supportive environment your child needs to thrive.

Introduction to De-escalation techniques This course will explores the possible root causes of violent behaviour exhibited by children and enables parents and carers to implement early interventions and de-escalation strategies to support the child’s emotional dysregulation. Parents and carers will be equipped with practical tools to ensure the safety of the child and avoid conflicts. The course also explores the impact of such behaviour on parents and discovers the importance of selfcare.

Recognising Compassion Fatigue for Parents This course aims to help parents recognise the impact of compassion fatigue and validate their emotions and reactions while working with children with T.I.P'S MAGAZINE

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Recognising Compassion Fatigue for Professionals In this course, we will teach you the therapeutic parenting model (T.R.U.E)®, a collaborative and supportive approach to working with parents. You will learn how to engage in intensive therapeutic work with parents to help them create a more nurturing environment for their children. Additionally, we will provide you with the necessary skills and knowledge to make a positive impact on the lives of children who have experienced early life trauma, or who display neurodiverse characteristics, and their families.

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Developmental Trauma or who display neurodiverse characteristics. The course focuses on self-awareness as the key to implementing successful strategies. Parents and caregivers will gain a deeper understanding of Secondary Trauma and learn how to avoid compassion fatigue in the future.

In addition to this...

A monthly webinar is held twice a month, once during the day and once in the evening. Topics will include those inspired by CoECT's Trauma Informed Parenting magazine, seasonal topics, and requests from NATP members.

Please take a moment to check out our dedicated training page.

There, you will find a comprehensive and user-friendly list of all the training programs that we offer!

To book your training, simply contact Danielle, our Training Manager at NATP. She will guide you through the process of booking training with us via info@coect.co.uk

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COECT INTERNATIONAL CONFERENCE 2024

Sarah Naish

Sarah Dillon

Jane Mitchell

THE ESSENTIAL TOOLS OF THERAPEUTIC PARENTING Strategies from the leading industry experts Date: Thursday 20th June 2024 Time: 10:00 am - 3:00 pm (GMT) Location: Virtual/Online Price: £10 plus VAT For more information and to book your place, go to The Essential Tools of Therapeutic Parenting (vfairs.com) In the Upcoming Release...

Conference special - Explore the vital tools for therapeutic parenting Gain insights into a Therapeutic Fostering Panel Havening - A pyscho-sensory technique Ask the Experts Issue 9 available from 20th May 2024