CODE M MAGAZINE 2024 MARCH ISSUE

THE UNLIKELY ROMANCE TRANSFORMING THE LIVES OF MEN

WHY YOU SHOULD NEVER RETIRE

A MAN’S JOURNEY

TO

MATRIMONY

+

PROTECTED

3 STEPS TO BECOMING AN OFFICE ATHLETE

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Kerry KingBrown created the Black Wolf App to provide people with a safe and protected ride experience so they can have peace of mind when traveling from one destination to another.

MARCH 2024 ISSUE

[ LIFE ]

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[ HEALTH ]

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[ LIFE ]

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[ HEALTH ]

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[ CLE ]

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[ BUSINESS ]

INSIDE

35 THE PROBLEM WITH CLUB SHAY SHAY Celebrities airing their dirty laundry on Club Shay Shay might be good for ratings, but is it good for Black America?

ON THE COVER

38

PROTECTED RIDE SHARE

the world!

16 MAN CODES Reading.

Kerry KingBrown 18 UNCHAINED BY DESIGN created the Black When Bilal Issifou started Unchained, Wolf App to provide Inc., he did with the hopes of changing people with a safe and how Generation Z interacted in the protected ride workplace. He didn’t know that his experience so they can have peace of work would change him too. mind when traveling from one destination to another.

20 WHY YOU SHOULD NEVER RETIRE 14 MOVERS AND SHAKERS Get to know people who are making a difference in their careers and changing

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People who reach retirement age, but continue to work, find purpose and meaning in their lives. They tend to

enjoy a longer life expectancy and have more purpose with what they do daily.

47 3 STEPS TO BECOMING AN OFFICE ATHLETE Someone who excels in life and the workplace, by incorporating exercise, develops the mental resilience necessary for a better work-life balance.

52 VIBES FOR LIFE The musically gifted Lem Adams caught his Vibe at the age of thirty. He tours the world today helping everyone else catch their own vibe, too.

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[ INSIDE ] 58 THE UNLIKELY ROMANCE We often marvel when opposites attract. But we all could learn a lesson from the enjoyment of discovering the power of witnessing polar ends joining forces to laugh, distract, and interact on a cosmic level.

62 10 STEPS TO SUCCESS FORMULA

A simple guide to getting what you want out of life by following these 10 steps to creating a successful formula to achieve your goals.

68 SWEATSUITS ARE COOL

66

Being comfortable and making a fashion statement at the same time involves some cool clothes. Sweatsuites get the job done!

AKRON NATIVE EXPLAINS HER WHY Lizzen breaks out with her 2024 release, Why, and creates a soothing listening experience that can be enjoyed at any time.

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TRANSFORMING THE LIVES OF MEN

ENGINEER RADIO/PODCAST Imari Hill

PUBLISHER Bilal S. Akram

SOCIAL MEDIA Rachel Woods

PRESIDENT Brad J. Bowling SENIOR ADVISOR Alexandria Johnson Boone MANAGING EDITOR David Christel CHIEF OF STAFF Anita G. Butler PAGE EDITORS Anthony Kirby-Lifestyles Laron Harlem-Fashion Paris Lampkins-Movers & Shakers GRAPHIC DESIGN Stiff Arm Media MEDIA COORDINATOR

Carole Anthony

ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES David Williams Kevin Jones IT CONSULTANT Anthony Jones Digital Jetstream, LLC CONTRIBUTING WRITERS David Christel Leslie Logan Brad J. Bowling Garrett Waller Bilal S. Akram Laron Harlem Bolling Smith Chris Matthews Anthony Kirby nce Burnley CODE MEDIA GROUP LLC

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STAFF

To the PUBLISHER

Sharif Akram

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Darrell Scott

RADIO/PODCAST HOSTS Darrell Scott Grace Roberts

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CODE M Magazine was created to be a guiding force in creating a dialogue for black men everywhere. Code M focuses on the conversations of advancement, mental health, career choices, the political landscape and relationships that define and shape the lives of black men everywhere.

Code M Magazine is published

by CODE MEDIA GROUP, LLC © 2024 All Rights Reserved

[ TRAVEL ]

CODE M / MARCH2024 9

MOVERS &

SHAKERS

Get to know people who are making a difference in their careers and changing the world!

DIANE LINSTON Diane Linston, is one of the most influential fashion designers and entrepreneurs in Cleveland Ohio. She is the only African-American female with a clothing manufacturing company. The 1500 sq foot manufacturing company is located at 36th Payne Ave. Her collection, The N.G.U. Design (Never Give Up) is shown in more than 10 stores around the world and on Amazon.com Her designs have graced the pages of renowned fashion publications and have been worn by influential celebrities and style icons.

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She also created a new line of hospital gowns that will change the way we wear hospital gowns.

May, 2024, Cleveland Fashions & Styles will return to Chanel 3 in Cleveland, Ohio, showcasing local talent in Cleveland. Linston will be the host of the show.

[ MOVERS & SHAKERS ]

ADRIAN HARPOOL Adrian Harpool is a trusted advisor to corporate, institutional, government, and political leaders delivering effective strategies for addressing complex communications, public relations, and marketing challenges. He has crafted the launch of consumer brands, paved the way for large-scale real estate projects, and executed creative campaigns for causes and candidates transforming the physical, economic, social, and political landscapes of communities nationwide.

In recent years, Harpool has been a valuable resource to policymakers and political figures. He orchestrated the election of Adrienne Jones as Maryland’s first Black (and woman) speaker of the General Assembly. Harpool serves as a senior adviser to the campaign for Maryland Governor Wes Moore, only the third Black person to serve as a governor in the nation’s history.

NIYIA WHITSETT Niyia Whitsett is a shining example of a multifaceted entrepreneur who has dedicated her life to healing, creativity, and empowerment. Her journey has led her to become the owner and director of Self-Approved Herbal Spa, where she channels her gift for soothing the soul to impact women and men of all ages. Through her message of "Heal Your Emotions, Heal Your Life!", she empowers individuals to transcend their emotional barriers and facilitate positive transformation.

Whitsett creates safe spaces for those seeking emotional and holistic enhancement and has founded a community of women from all walks of life with one mission: to embrace each other. Her work is guided by God yearly and each year has its own theme, making her an inspiration to all who seek to live a life of fulfillment and purpose.

ANTHONY GADDY Anthony Gaddy is a co-founder and President/CEO of the Upstate New York Black Chamber of Commerce, the upstate New York affiliate for U.S. Black Chambers, which recognized the organization as its 2023 USBC Chamber of the Year for their outstanding work on behalf of Black Businesses throughout upstate New York.

Founded in February 2019, the upstate New York Black Chamber of Commerce is based in Albany and represents the upstate New York region including the Capital Region, Central New York, Western New York and the Hudson Valley Region on behalf of Black Businesses and Underserved Communities. USNYBCC has been a fierce advocate for the certification of MWBEs and has worked with the NYS Division of Minority Women Business Development to support their tremendous improvements in the certification process and to assist with Members and even nonmembers to become MWBE-Certified.

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START

Frederick Douglas

MAN CODES: READING

Compiled by Bilal S. Akram

“My alma mater was books, a good library.... I could spend the rest of my life reading, just satisfying my curiosity.” - Malcolm X

“You don’t have to burn books to destroy a culture. Just get people to stop reading them.” – Ray Bradbury

“A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies, said Jojen. The man who never reads lives only one.” - George R.R. Martin

“You think your pain and your heartbreak are unprecedented in the history of the world, but then you read. It was books that taught me that the things that tormented me most were the very things that connected me with all the people who were alive, who had ever been alive.” - James Baldwin

“Once you learn to read, you will be forever free.”

– Frederick Douglas “The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you'll go.” - Dr. Seuss “′Classic′ - a book which people praise and don't read.”

- Mark Twain “Today a reader, tomorrow a leader.” - Margaret Fuller “Books are the quietest and most constant of friends; they are the most accessible and wisest of counselors, and the most patient of teachers.” - Charles W. Eliot

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“Keep reading. It’s one of the most marvelous adventures that anyone can have.” - Lloyd Alexander Joshua 8:34-35 34 "Then afterward he read all the words of the law, the blessing and the curse, according to all that is written in the book of the law. 35 There was not a word of all that Moses had commanded which Joshua did not read before all the assembly of Israel with the women and the little ones and the strangers who were living among them." (NIV)

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[ START ]

UNCHAINED

BY

DESIGN

CLT STRONG

When Bilal Issifou started Unchained, Inc., he did with the hopes of changing how Generation Z interacted in the workplace. He didn’t know that his work would change him too.

C

onventional schooling likes to slot young people into majors and career tracks that keep the mechanisms of industry and progress moving forward. But is that really how life works? For Bilal Issifou, changing direction while in college was the right path for him — and we’re all going to benefit from his course

change.

For the majority of universities and colleges, Career Fairs hold the potential for future internships and jobs upon graduation. But for many students, confusion, and barriers are all that they’re experiencing. They’re still trying to figure out who they are and what truly interests them. Meanwhile, society is trying to funnel them into careers that will allegedly support their dreams, aspirations, and pursuit of successful livelihoods. The reality is that there is a discon-

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Written by DAVID CHRISTEL David has been ghostwriting books for well-known people since 1995. He is also the author of Married Men Coming Out: The Ultimate Guide to Becoming the Man You Were Born to Be.

nect between those seeking opportunities and those offering opportunities.

For Bilal, just trying to get his foot in the door to land an internship was quite a challenge. As a pre-law student attending a STEM-focused school, companies were recruiting engineers.

Unable to land an internship, a peer of his introduced him to the program manager for her internship. That’s how he landed a position with the Office of Civil Rights with the North Carolina Department of Transportation.

“I was helping minority business enterprises land government contracts. This is where I witnessed first-hand the struggles people were having in terms of access points to job opportunities. Reflecting on my own challenging experiences, I realized I wanted to do something about this situation, to help students not go through what I had. But I couldn’t conventionally solve the problem.”

[ START ] That’s when Bilal came up with the idea of Unchained, Inc., which he describes as, “… a tech-based start-up company with a social professional platform that bridges the gap between Gen Z professionals, recruiting teams, and campus organizations.”

Bilal extrapolated what he was discovering about himself and the school-to-corporate-job-pipeline with its multiple barriers into a business providing a resource center to help career services around the world run more efficiently.

With DEI so much in the news, over the past decade, diverse, early career professionals have found even more barriers to employment and career paths that keep them from moving up the corporate ladder. So Bilal has intended to introduce and create connections between HBCU students and corporate recruiters and partners. In this process, students entering the job market will have already been vetted while still matriculating.

“You can’t do anything alone. I think change starts with support and action on all sides to create a more vibrant ecosystem for future professionals. Employers have to be open to the new ideas that will shift their company and then for professionals, to not let their ambition die. Because at the end of the day, no one can give you ambition.

You have to seek ambition for yourself.” ●

“When a company partners with us, they get more exposure and more engagement with early careers and HBCUs. We have services to strategize with our partners. What we offer is that our team becomes an extension of your team; we're coaching your team on how to engage, communicate, and market to the students on all campuses, and how to evaluate your processes to ensure that you don’t have any biases and that you can appeal to the demographic you’re serving. We're very intentional about not just providing a transactional but transformative service because, at the end of the day, we’re sending our students and professionals and our community to you.”

Bilal stresses the importance of interpersonal and in-person connections. How this works is that Unchained, Inc. offers clients hybrid solutions so that they can leverage the Unchained platform and its database to extend their reach of candidates. “If you’re a company, you’ve only budgeted for a certain number of schools, the schools on our platform or within our network now become a part of your pipeline. We take it a step further because we believe that a lot of companies focus on corporate branding, but not campus branding. The students’ opinions matter. So, building a relationship with the students is the easiest and fastest way to fostering that pipeline.”

In Bilal’s own experience, that pipeline didn’t speak to his aspirations. Believing that becoming a lawyer was his destination, he discovered something that spoke to a greater intrinsic desire within himself: being of service. “It wasn’t until my first internship that I realized I had many other skill sets. I had to question what I was doing, and where I was going. I realized that I didn’t necessarily want to work for the government doing contracts. What my internships forced me to do is get out of the status quo mindset.”

Issifou stresses the importance of interpersonal and in-person connections when speaking to students.

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LIFE

WHY YOU SHOULD NEVER RETIRE People who reach retirement age, but continue to work, find purpose and meaning in their lives. They tend to enjoy a longer life expectancy and have more purpose with what they do daily.

Written by BRAD BOWLING Brad Bowling is the President of CODE Media Group, LLC. Bowling has his BA in mass media communication and an MBA in marketing. He contributes articles to the magazine continuing his love for writing.

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[ LIFE ]

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[ LIFE]

Blacks are being denied the right to vote all over the country.

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[ LIFE ]

E

veryone has heard the story of a loved one who retired after working the same job for forty years, only to die a short five years later. They never got a chance to enjoy the life they worked so hard to create. That story is all too common. But what happens to the body and mind after retirement?

According to a 2018 Harvard Medical School health report, some studies have shown that people working beyond the age of 65 were three times more likely to report being in good health and about 50% less likely to have serious health problems than their retired counterparts.

There is an old saying that states, “If you don’t use it, you lose it.” That saying is appropriate for describing what happens to people after they retire. The mind is a wonderful thing. When the mind is used, it stimulates healthy activity in the body. For those who retire after a busy career of critical thinking, being emotionally attached to success on the job, and a feeling of belonging to a work community, they end up dying from having no purpose.

and people falling into depression while not understanding the symptoms they were experiencing.

“I noticed that my mood was swinging all over the place,” John, from Buffalo, said. “I realized that my interactions with people made me feel much better when I came back home, so I started to purposely find activities where I was around people again.”

WHAT ABOUT MONEY It’s no secret that life changes financially for those who have retired. With prices skyrocketing to an all-time high, the income that used to work in retirement might not work anymore. For those who can work a wellpaying job, they might want to consider continuing to do that if they enjoy what they’re doing.

For those who would prefer to retire, considering a second career doing something more enjoyable is always an option. Many people still choose retirement to gain ac-

“Ironically, what you do for a living can impact your quality of life leading into retirement.”

WHAT IS A LACK OF PURPOSE? •

•

Lack of Direction: Without a clear purpose, we feel directionless or unsure about our path in life. This will lead to a sense of drifting, feeling lost, or being uncertain about our goals and aspirations.

Difficulty Making Decisions: A strong purpose often serves as a guiding principle for decision-making.

The mind is a powerful tool. When it isn’t used, the body will suffer as well. Those who wake up every day with a sense of purpose typically live more fulfilling lives. Life with no purpose, creates a day with no fulfillment, thus leading to mental and, eventually, physical death.

Symptoms of having no purpose include feeling hopeless, desperate, simply numb, and unable to find enjoyment in the things we used to find pleasure in.

Feeling a lack of purpose can also contribute to depression and anxiety, especially when feeling unable to see a way out of feeling empty.

Human connection is critical to life and people typically work most of their day, meaning they interact with others all day.

The pandemic created stay-at-home jobs. But society suffered from this because millions of people simply lost a sense of connection. This increased bad behavior from people, issues with acting out in public,

cess to their pension, and social security, and can still work and create additional income. It’s suggested to consult a tax professional before taking on any additional income.

But most people can work a part-time job, still enjoy their benefits, and create a sense of purpose at the same time. With inflation becoming a factor for the retired, it is more important than ever to make sure that financial stress is managed as much as possible. There are recommendations on how to financially prepare for retirement.

Some may want to try the 4% rule. The 4% rule entails withdrawing up to 4% of your retirement in the first year and subsequently withdrawing based on inflation. Some risks of the 4% rule include whims of the market, life expectancy, and changing tax rates. You may also want to consider the 95% rule for retirement.

The Rule of 95 is an alternative full-benefit retirement eligibility date to allow members to retire earlier than their schedule-based eligibility date. Under the Rule of 95, members can retire when their age, plus their years of service, equals 95, provided that they are at least 62 years of age.

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[ LIFE] Financial planners often recommend replacing about 80% of one’s pre-retirement income to sustain the same lifestyle after retirement. This means that, if a person is earning $100,000 per year, they would aim for at least $80,000 of income (in today’s dollars) in retirement.

FINDING PURPOSE IN LIFE Finding purpose in life might sound nice, but it’s more important than we might think. Living a meaningful life contributes to better physical health and mental fitness. It also reduces the risk of chronic disease. Multiple studies have even found that it can help us live longer.

When we wake up every day with a purpose, it helps drive our mode of operation. When do we eat? How healthy do we eat? We consider how our day impacts others. Living with intent, we’re also feeding the mind and body the daily nutrients it needs to feel alive.

Understand that no one is suggesting that if we’re a plumber we work until we’re seventy-eight. We can retire from the job we have and volunteer for the career that makes us the happiest and most fulfilled.

“I worked in medicine all my life,” Deloris, from Orlando, said.

“When I retired, I began to work with kids and started teaching. I substitute teacher. It provides me with enough hours, and I get to spend my day with young people, which keeps me laughing and connected to life.”

Ironically, what we do for a living can impact our quality of life leading into retirement.

A 2021 study on Occupation-Based Life Expectancy found that people working in non-skilled general, technical, and transport domains lived an average of 3.5 years less than those in academic professions. Those working in the transport sector had the shortest life expectancy, and teachers had the longest.

OPTIONS FOR LIFE AFTER RETIREMENT The road to creating the post-retirement life we want will be different for everyone. If we can continue to work at the company we love, we should do so. If we can find a new career that allows us some flexibility to travel and enjoy the grandkids the way we’d like, go for it.

Take the time to experiment with different jobs and positions before settling into a job that might not create the healthy, stimulating balance needed. Life is supposed to be enjoyed, not worked.

The key point is to find something to do that is meaningful, productive, and requires real effort. If we’re retired, we need to define what that means. But life will feel much better when we have something to relax from. We shouldn’t use this as an opportunity to let ourselves go to pot by not staying in shape.

Positive blood flow is the key to health. Keeping the body moving and the blood flowing is important once we’ve retired. The local YMCA has good physical programs for the retired. Pickleball has exploded among those who desire to stay active and play a sport at the same time.

The bottom line for those considering retirement is to understand their options, choose wisely, and try to enjoy life as much as possible. No one wants to die five years after retirement. Enjoy those grandkids and enjoy each other. ●

Retirement age is being re-defined for those who are above age 65.

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[ POLITICS ]

Blacks desire real freedom in 2024 to live a life without prejudice.

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[ LIFE ]

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[ LIFE ]

A MAN’S JOURNEY

TO

MATRIMONY Most men are hopeless romantics and covet the idea of marriage. If this is you, here are the five stages toward becoming a committed husband.

Written by CHRIS MATTHEWS Chris A. Matthews is a licensed marriage and family therapist (LMFT) and approved supervisor for the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy. Visit chrisAmatthews.com to learn more about his work with couples and families.

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[ HEALTH ]

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[ LIFE ]

T

he journey toward becoming a husband is a transformative process that involves a series of stages, each contributing to the growth and maturation of a man. While every individual’s path is different, there are often five basic stages that summarize the evolution of a man’s journey to matrimony. Understanding and navigating these stages is crucial for any man aspiring to become a loving and supportive husband.

Embracing this transformative odyssey not only equips men with the skills needed for a successful marriage but also cultivates resiliency, empathy, and a deep understanding of the complexities within a romantic partnership.

As men invest time and effort in comprehending and maneuvering through these stages, they embark not just on a personal quest but contribute to the fabric of enduring and meaningful relationships, forming the cornerstone of a loving and lasting marriage.

Stage 1: Attraction and Pursuit In the initial stage of a man’s journey toward becoming a husband, attraction and pursuit dominate. This phase is marked by the excitement and novelty of a new relationship, where physical attraction, shared interests, and a desire to understand the captivating person drive men. Exploring the foundation of this attraction becomes essential during this period, involving introspection to discern values, interests, and characteristics crucial for a lasting connection.

be a husband, navigating this period demands resilience, communication skills, and a commitment to weathering storms together.

Chaos and crises manifest in various forms, including external pressures, disagreements, or personal hardships. These moments truly test a man’s character, requiring the development of skills such as remaining calm under pressure, effective communication, and collaborative problem-solving with his partner.

•

This stage presents an opportunity for personal growth, necessitating introspection and a willingness to learn from challenges.

•

A man must recognize the importance of compromise and the need for a shared approach to problem-solving, laying a strong foundation for emotional resilience in a long-term commitment.

Amidst the chaos, a silver lining of growth and self-discovery emerges. A man learns to navigate external challenges, understand his strengths and limitations, and develop a deeper emotional intelligence. This transformative period encourages the maturation of both partners, fostering a greater

Pursuing a life partner demands genuine curiosity and a willingness to invest time and effort in understanding the other person.

Building a solid foundation of friendship, trust, and mutual respect is crucial in this stage, creating the groundwork for a resilient relationship capable of withstanding future challenges.

As men navigate this phase, they establish the cornerstone for effective communication, a critical element for any successful relationship. It becomes a time for setting shared goals and aspirations and charting a course for a future filled with understanding, compatibility, and enduring love.

Stage 2: Chaos and Crisis As relationships progress, couples often face challenges and unexpected crises, marking a stage characterized by chaos. In this tumultuous phase, both partners encounter unforeseen circumstances testing the strength of their bond. For a man aspiring to

Men will often choose marriage or the single life because it creates a better foundation for success.

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[ LIFE ] understanding of oneself and the dynamics of a mature and resilient relationship. It becomes a phase where, despite the storms, both partners not only endure but emerge stronger and more connected than ever before.

Stage 3: Development of Emotional Intelligence A critical aspect of preparing for marriage is the development of emotional intelligence. This stage involves understanding and managing one’s emotions, as well as empathizing with the emo-

Developing emotional intelligence requires self-awareness and a commitment to personal growth. Cultivating empathy is particularly important during this stage. A man should strive to understand his partner’s perspective, validate their emotions, and work collaboratively to navigate challenges. This emotional attunement lays the groundwork for a deeper connection and sets the stage for the next phase of the journey.

As men master emotional intelligence, they not only enhance their ability to connect with their partner but also create a

Emotional intelligence plays a pivotal role in effective communication, conflict resolution, and overall relationship satisfaction. Men must learn to express their feelings openly and honestly while also being receptive to their partner’s feelings. tions of a partner.

Emotional intelligence plays a pivotal role in effective communication, conflict resolution, and overall relationship satisfaction.

Men must learn to express their feelings openly and honestly while also being receptive to their partner’s feelings. This involves active listening, validating emotions, and fostering a safe space for open communication.

more harmonious and supportive marital environment. The benefits extend beyond the relationship, positively impacting other areas of life where empathy and emotional understanding are essential.

Refining these skills enables men to present themselves as compassionate and attentive companions, bridging emotional gaps and nurturing a lasting connection that surpasses the typical challenges of married life.

Stage 4: Accepting Influences In the journey toward becoming a husband, the skill of accepting influences from a partner is crucial. This stage involves recognizing the importance of compromise, shared decisionmaking, and mutual influence in a relationship, shifting from individual perspectives to a collaborative approach where both partners contribute to the growth and well-being of the relationship.

Men must be open to considering their partner’s opinions, preferences, and needs, letting go of rigid expectations and embracing a flexible mindset. Accepting influences is not about sacrificing one’s identity but integrating the strengths and perspectives of both individuals into a harmonious partnership.

This stage also emphasizes equality in a relationship, with a man striving for balance in decision-making to ensure both partners have an equal say in matters affecting the relationship. This mutual respect fosters a sense of partnership and shared responsibility, laying the groundwork for a successful marriage.

As men successfully navigate the acceptance of influences, they contribute to creating a relationship based on collaboration, equality, and shared values. This approach not only fortifies the relationship’s foundation but also fosters an environ-

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[ HEALTH ]

CODE M / MARCH 2024 27

[ LIFE ] ment where both partners feel valued and heard.

By embracing this stage wholeheartedly, men cultivate a sense of unity and partnership that sets the stage for a fulfilling and enduring marital commitment, where the strengths of both individuals synergize to create a harmonious and balanced union.

Stage 5: Deep Attachment The final stage in a man’s journey toward becoming a husband, marked by deep attachment, is a testament to his readiness for the sacred commitment of marriage. Deep attachment signifies more than just a strong emotional connection; it embodies a profound commitment, unwavering loyalty, and dedicated support for each other’s personal and collective goals.

To reach this stage, a man must invest continuously in the relationship, nurturing its emotional, physical, and spiritual dimensions. This commitment is not a one-time effort but an ongoing dedication to fostering intimacy and understanding. It is characterized by a profound sense of security where both partners feel seen, heard, and valued, creating a foundation for a lasting marital bond.

In this stage, the man learns the art of maintaining and strengthening the deep attachment, realizing that it requires consistent effort and dedication. Regular communication becomes a cornerstone, providing a platform for sharing thoughts, feelings, and dreams. Shared experiences further deepen the connection, creating a reservoir of memories that binds the couple together.

A man ready to be a husband prioritizes the well-being of the relationship, recognizing it as a dynamic entity that demands continuous nurturing. The commitment to mutual growth becomes paramount, as both partners strive to support each other’s personal development. In this phase, a man understands that marriage is not just about the present but also about laying

the groundwork for a shared future filled with shared goals and aspirations.

The Deep Attachment stage reveals a man’s ability to weather challenges with resilience and grace. It is not only about the strength of love during joyous times but also about facing hardships together, and emerging stronger as a united front. As a man achieves this level of emotional maturity and relational depth, he signifies that he is not only ready but eager to embrace the responsibilities and joys that come with being a loving and supportive husband.

Becoming a husband is a multi-faceted journey that encompasses attraction, chaos, emotional intelligence, accepting influences, and deep attachment. Each stage contributes to the development of a man’s character, resilience, and capacity for love and commitment. Navigating these five stages with intentionality and self-awareness prepares a man for the sacred institution of marriage, fostering a relationship built on trust, communication, and mutual support. As men embark on this transformative journey, they not only become loving husbands but also active participants in the creation of a fulfilling and lasting partnership.

Men can refrain from navigating this journey in solitude, despite the tempting inclination to try figuring it out independently. Seeking the guidance of a counselor or relationship coach can be a transformative and supportive approach for men navigating the various stages of their journey toward becoming a husband. These professionals provide a confidential and neutral space for men to explore their thoughts, emotions, and concerns related to attraction, chaos, emotional intelligence, accepting influences, and deep attachment.

A counselor or relationship coach can offer valuable insights, helping men to identify patterns, communicate more effectively, and develop essential relationship skills. Through personalized guidance, individuals can gain a deeper understanding of themselves and their partners, fostering a more harmonious and resilient connection.

Additionally, professionals in this field can provide tools and strategies for managing challenges, facilitating personal growth, and ensuring a smoother transition through each stage. Collaborating with a counselor or relationship coach empowers men to approach their journey with intentionality, self-awareness, and a greater capacity for building a strong and enduring marital foundation. ●

Only 20 percent of divorces are initiated by men.

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[ HEALTH ]

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[ HEALTH ]

Building muscle mass can improve strength and stamina in the body.

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[ LIFE]

THE PROBLEM WITH

CLUB SHAY SHAY

Celebrities airing their dirty laundry on Club Shay Shay might be good for ratings, but is it good for Black America?

S

By Bolling Smith hannon Sharpe has always been one of Black America’s favorite sons. His story of rags to riches in reaching the NFL Hall of Fame by playing for 14 years should inspire any young man who desires to accomplish something.

Sharpe’s successful transition from the football field to the broadcast booth and an excellent interviewer should also be celebrated. Sharpe has recently been able to capture the world’s attention with his podcast Club Shay Shay, which airs completely on YouTube with snippets that play all over social media.

The show has become one of the most watched on the internet

and continues to be the driving conversation among those who pay attention to the guests who appear on the show.

The recent interview with comedian Katt Williams was viewed by over fifty million people. Williams delivered a sobering account of life in Hollywood and named several people as he spoke his truth on the business of being a comic. That is an incredible accomplishment for Sharpe, Williams, and Club Shay Shay.

Sharpe followed the Williams interview by talking to comedian Mo’Nique who got the attention of over five million people in 24 hours of airing.

The interview centered around the Oscar-winning comedian's blunt comments while talking about previous public spats with the likes of Tyler Perry, Netflix, Oprah Winfrey, and more.

While success today is counted in views, there are those in the Black community who struggle with the airing of dirty laundry.

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[ LIFE ] “You don’t see white people going on TV to talk about other white people. But we always pull each other down,” Quinton, from Dallas, said. “I love the show, but I hate to see us act like this. We tear each other down too much if you ask me.”

He isn’t the only one to vocalize displeasure in watching our beloved celebrities attack each other. Before the shock could wear off from the Katt Williams interview, the Mo’Nique interview was posted. It was too much for some people to accept.

“As soon as I heard that Mo’Nique was going to be on the show, I already knew that she was going to tell it all,” Nikki, from Tulsa, said. “It made me not even want to listen to what she had to say.”

Both interviews also fall on the heels of the P. Diddy news about his issues with his artists and behavior. And for Blacks, any news about one of us creates a blemish on all of us. There has always been a feeling among Blacks that any negative news about Blacks embarrasses the entire race.

Blacks have always felt like the mission to gain acceptance — the goal of being left alone to pursue a certain quality of life — always stems from the degree to which white people feel about Blacks in general. So, any negative news impacts the entire

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race. Lately, the news has been bad.

According to a recent PBS study, almost two-thirds of Black adults (63%) say news about Black people is often more negative than news about other racial and ethnic groups, while 28% say it is about equal, and 7% say it’s often more positive.

At least half (57%) of Black adults say the news they see or hear about Black people only covers certain segments of Black communities or is often missing important information (50%). According to the study, 9% of those surveyed say it covers a wide variety of Black people and often reports the full story and 14% say that it is extremely likely that Black people will be covered fairly in their lifetimes. These numbers represent traditional news.

The problem for Black America is that while Shannon Sharpe is beloved, he is also Black. To have a Black man help contribute to the negative news that is being discussed about Black America’s talented artists creates an open sore that gets harder to heal with each passing guest.

Society is already struggling with life after the pandemic. Rising prices, prolonged COVID-like sickness, and loneliness have Black America at a tipping point. Some wonder how much more can

[ LIFE ] the race take as it seeks to elect a new leader in 2024.

“We sure could use some positive news,” Craig, from Fort Wayne, said. “Everywhere I turn I hear nothing but sad news, especially about us. It makes me depressed sometimes how much we attack each other.”

No one seems to be immune from negative rumors either. National figures from Bishop TD Jakes to some political figures have been mentioned in a less than positive light.

The solution to the problem is complex. But it could be just as easy to recommend not paying attention to it.

But in a connected world filled with non-stop access, the feeds never stop, so the pain might not ever stop for a race that can never catch a break. ●

Comedian Katt Williams recently appeared on Club Shay Shay, which got over 50 million views.

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COVER

PROTECTED

RIDE

SHARE Kerry KingBrown created the Black Wolf App to provide people with a safe and protected ride experience so they can have peace of mind when traveling from one destination to another.

Written by BRAD BOWLING Brad Bowling is the President of CODE Media Group, LLC. Bowling has his BA in mass media communication and an MBA in marketing. He contributes articles to the magazine continuing his love for writing.

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[ COVER ]

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[ COVER ]

Kerry KingBrown is a private security expert and owner of Black Wolf App.

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[ COVER ]

N

o doubt about it, Americans are living in remarkably interesting times. At this point, it’s not a matter of if, but when, someone will know another person killed by gun violence.

In 2021, the most recent year for which complete data is available, 48,830 people died from gun-related injuries in the US, according to the CDC. That figure includes gun murders and gun suicides, along with three less common types of gun-related deaths tracked by the CDC: 1) those that were accidental, 2) those that involved law enforcement, and 3) those whose circumstances could not be determined.

For private security expert, Kerry KingBrown, understanding Americans has led him to create the Black Wolf App, a protected rideshare app that offers armed drivers when you need a ride.

“After I completed a private security job, the client told me that I should be doing this for everyone. She advised me to get to work and solve the problem of people not feeling safe as they travel,” KingBrown said. “So, I went home, and in 45 minutes created a presentation to create my version of what protected ride share means.”

KingBrown has done private security for President Donald Trump, Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Green, and a host of athletes, actors, and professionals.

KingBrown was bit by the security bug early. At the age of fifteen, he’d begun working as a doorman at events and was later accepted by Gavin de Becker and Associates to learn private security by what is considered the best private security firm in the US. He has conducted over four extractions overseas and is considered “the future of private security” by his peers.

Creating the Black Wolf App comes at a perfect time for KingBrown and our country.

“We’ve had an incredible response to offering protected ride share,” KingBrown said. “People are struggling with the level of violence in our cities, and they want to feel protected.”

He’s right! More than ever, Americans feel unprotected — by our government and our police, and more people are arming themselves in the event they need to stop a violent crime from happening to them.

Lawrence Jones, from the Fox news program, Fox and Friends, putting on a bullet proof vest with Kerry KingBrown.

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[ COVER ]

Ben Crump celebrating fundraising with The Elton John Foundation. .

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[ COVER ] The Internet has only increased the anxiety of witnessing violent crimes wherever they happen. About 8-in-10 US murders in 2021 — 20,958 out of 26,031 (81%) — involved a firearm. That marked the highest percentage since at least 1968, the earliest year for which the CDC has online records.

KingBrown understands that the world of security is ridiculously small. As a businessman and a Black man, KingBrown cannot afford to make any mistakes.

“We understand the opportunity before us.” KingBrown said, “So, we have to be very methodical as we grow to en-

“We have received an outstanding number of messages and emails from passengers of other ride-hailing companies expressing their experience about feeling vulnerable and unsafe with other ride-hail companies due to the lack of driver background checks and driver standards.”

Gun murders have climbed sharply during the pandemic, increasing 45% between 2019 and 2021, while the number of gun suicides rose 10% during that span. In 2023, data shows that 350 school shooting incidents occurred across the US. The Gun Violence Archive, a data collection and research group, defines mass shootings as incidents in which at least four people are injured or killed, excluding the shooter. The archive counts 49 mass shootings in 2024.

sure success from those who don’t want us to succeed.”

Like any business that a Black man starts, there will be obstacles from the outside world, those who don’t want to see the Black Wolf App eat into market share. Because of the idea of offering a protected ride-share app, KingBrown’s story has been misrepresented in the press.

He is very aware of the politics that come with creating a

Americans are taking note and have started to buy personal protection to protect themselves and their families. The share of American households owning at least one firearm has remained steady since 1972, hovering between 37% and 47%. In 2023, about 42% of US households had at least one gun in their possession.

The problem with owning a gun is that while having one feels safe, the problems that come from having one in the home also increase the opportunity for incidents with guns to happen.

Preventable or accidental gun-related deaths increased by 3% in 2021. Suicides have increased among those who have a gun in their home. Suicide deaths involving guns have increased by 28%, while assault deaths have increased by 80% since 2012. In 2021, both suicide and assault deaths increased by 8%.

KingBrown understands all the statistics and percentages, so he aims to take the Black Wolf App national. “Right now, we operate in the South, Florida and Georgia. As we grow, we need to make sure that we obey all the laws in the various states, so we are communicating with the right agencies to make sure we’re good.”

Miami Florida Mayor, Francis Suarez, and Kerry KingBrown.

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[ HEALTH ]

Getting help for mental illness is still a struggle for most men.

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[ COVER ] meaningful business and makes sure that when he’s speaking to young people, he conveys the drive that one must have to succeed.

a tremendous background check and are also great at private security as well,” KingBrown said.

The Black Wolf App offers several levels of rideshare.

Because of the nature of the business, riders can expect to pay a slightly higher fee for traveling in a protected vehicle. However, all riders welcome the increased feeling of safety.

•

Black Wolf Economy – Affordable rides, with screened drivers.

•

Black Wolf Premium – Premium rides, with screened drivers.

•

Black Wolf Armed – Premium rides, with screened drivers and extra protection.

“We’ve received an outstanding number of messages and emails from passengers of other ride-hailing companies expressing their experience about feeling vulnerable and unsafe with other ride-hail companies due to the lack of driver background checks and driver standards. Black Wolf App is filling the void,” KingBrown explained.

The ride-share app is becoming so popular that people are asking for KingBrown to bring it to their state. While he may not be able to provide the ride-share app everywhere, he does offer his protection services all over the world.

With the Black Wolf App, Kerry has created the ride company at the right time. With time and great integrity in getting it right, the entire country should soon be able to enjoy the comfort of riding with an armed driver.

“The goal is to make people feel safe as they travel from city to city or meeting to meeting. That has always been my biggest goal,” KingBrown said. ● Learn more about the Black Wolf App at: https://blackwolfapp.com/

KingBrown still provides private security for high-level professionals, politicians, entertainers, and athletes. His firm also offers static protection wherein security guards can be hired to safeguard a business. They are ununiformed security agents who will personally protect a business from the exterior or inside.

KingBrown‘s static guards provide extra protection during office hours or even off hours and prevent unauthorized visitors. Static protection can occur in a home as well for those who need private protection.

KingBrown is also getting interest from drivers around the country. The drivers who join the firm to offer rides enjoy a higher commission for their services. They can get paid using fifteen distinct categories of offers by the firm.

“Our drivers are earning a genuinely nice income because of the nature of how we provide services. If you desire to drive with us, and you have a licensed firearm, we would love to speak with you. Our drivers go through

Arizona senate candidate Keri Lake and Kerry KingBrown.

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HEALTH 3 STEPS TO BECOMING AN OFFICE ATHLETE

Someone who excels in life and the workplace, by incorporating exercise, develops the mental resilience necessary for a better work-life balance.

by Garret Waller

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[ HEALTH ]

I

n today’s fast-paced and competitive work environment, adopting the mindset and habits of an athlete can be a man’s new secret weapon to thriving and living a wellrounded and abundant life. Not in the physical sense, but in how men approach their work, manage stress, and maintain their health.

Being an “Office Athlete” means leveraging mental agility, physical fitness, and emotional resilience to excel in career and personal life whether working at home, in the office, or in a hybrid situation. The new hybrid is men who take good care of themselves and in turn handle business at work on a higher level. This comprehensive guide lays out three actionable steps to help any man embody the essence of a new-age Office Athlete, transforming both professional performance and wellbeing.

The modern workplace at home or the office demands more than just technical skills and knowledge. It requires stamina, focus, and the ability to navigate through challenges with agility and resilience — qualities that define not only top athletes but also top performers in the office.

Adopting an athlete’s mindset and routines can significantly enhance productivity, fortify mental and emotional defenses, and lead to profound career growth and personal fulfillment.

This article serves as the three-step blueprint for leveling up in and out of work to becoming an Office Athlete.

Step 1: Building Mental Agility Mindset Training

Men who diligently incorporate workouts into their demanding schedule not only strengthen their bodies but also significantly enhance their mental agility. Mental agility is the ability to become psychologically ambidextrous, quickly shifting between one mental state and another to enable clear thinking, accelerated learning, and heightened performance. At the heart of mental agility is a growth mindset. This perspective views challenges as opportunities for growth and embraces failure as a stepping stone to success.

The essence of a growth mindset is exemplified by the discipline of finding time for exercise amidst a busy work life as an opportunity to optimize his daily routine and improve overall performance. Such commitment to personal health and fitness fosters resilience and mental toughness, as it requires consistently pushing beyond comfort zones, whether in squeezing in an early morning run or a late-night gym session.

This habit of overcoming obstacles for the sake of personal

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well-being translates directly into an ability to tackle professional challenges with the same determination and positive outlook.

Focus Techniques Maintaining concentration amidst constant interruptions is a challenge. Exercise plays a crucial role in enhancing focus techniques by increasing blood flow to the brain, which can lead to improved concentration and cognitive function. Techniques like the Pomodoro Technique, which involves focused work intervals followed by short breaks, can enhance productivity.

Regular physical activity, much like the Pomodoro Technique, acts as a natural break that resets the mind, allowing for sharper focus during work intervals.

Mindfulness practices, such as meditation and deep breathing, can improve concentration, reduce stress, and foster presentmoment awareness, sharpening the ability to focus on the tasks at hand.

Furthermore, the mindfulness cultivated through exercise, particularly in activities that require concentration and body awareness like yoga or tai chi, mirrors the benefits of meditation and deep breathing by reducing stress and enhancing present-moment awareness, thus fortifying the mind’s ability to remain focused on tasks.

Continuous Learning The workplace is constantly evolving, making lifelong learning essential for staying ahead. Exercise and continuous learning in a man’s career share a foundational principle: both require dedication to improvement and adaptation to new challenges.

Just as regular physical training enhances the body’s capabilities and adaptability, actively engaging in lifelong learning enhances the brain’s plasticity, making it more adept at absorbing new information and skills that align with emerging industry trends.

Furthermore, exercise has been shown to boost cognitive function and memory retention, thereby directly supporting the learning process by making it easier to acquire and apply new knowledge and skills relevant to one’s career and the ever-evolving workplace.

Step 2: Enhancing Physical Fitness Desk-Based Exercises Incorporate simple exercises into a daily routine to combat the negative effects of prolonged sitting. Seated leg lifts, desk push-ups, and regular stretching breaks can improve posture, reduce the risk of chronic diseases, and elevate energy levels.

[ LOVE ]

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[ HEALTH ] Adding a short walk during breaks can go a long way in boosting circulation and fitness.

Nutrition for Performance Proper nutrition is crucial for sustaining energy and focus. Stay hydrated and include brain foods in the diet, such as omega-3rich fish, nuts, and leafy greens. Opt for healthy snacks like fresh fruit or yogurt to maintain energy levels without the crash associated with sugary or processed foods.

While in the office, techniques like deep breathing exercises and setting realistic goals can mitigate stress, while a supportive network of colleagues and loved ones can provide emotional and practical support. Office politics can take a toll on emotional wellbeing and Office Warriors can scrub it off by sticking to a stress-shedding fitness routine.

Work-Life Balance

Quality sleep and taking breaks are vital for peak performance in and out of the gym and office. Aim for 7-9 hours of sleep nightly and incorporate short breaks from work throughout the day to prevent burnout. Practice relaxation techniques to unwind and rejuvenate both the mind and body.

Achieving a balance between work and personal life is essential for long-term well-being. Whenever possible at work, employ time management strategies, set clear boundaries, and learn to delegate to maintain this balance. Prioritizing health and personal time is crucial for sustained productivity and happiness. Time spent in the gym becomes therapeutic, giving a great sense of pride and satisfaction needed for showing up energized at work.

Step 3: Cultivating Emotional Resilience

Positive Workplace Relationships

Stress Management

Incorporating exercise, such as team sports or group fitness challenges, can significantly bolster positive workplace relationships. Consider bringing in a trainer for a special event to help the team engage in physical activities together to not only promote effective communication and mutual support but also foster a sense of camaraderie and teamwork. By sharing in the collective goal of maintaining health and well-being, colleagues can build a stronger, more supportive community, enhancing the overall work environment through shared experiences and collaboration.

Rest and Recovery

Effective stress management is fundamental to emotional resilience. Exercise serves as a powerful tool for stress relief by releasing endorphins (the body’s natural mood elevators), and painkillers, which help to improve mood and decrease feelings of stress.

Engaging in physical activity acts as a form of stress management in itself, offering a productive outlet for dissipating tension and fostering a state of mental relaxation, thereby reinforcing emotional resilience.

The concept of an Office Athlete redefines success in our fastpaced work environments emphasizing the integration of mental agility, physical fitness, and emotional resilience. This approach, as detailed in “Three Steps to Becoming an Office Athlete,” outlines actionable steps for achieving peak professional performance and personal well-being.

Adopting the discipline and focus of an athlete into our daily work and life routines can significantly enhance our productivity, health, and satisfaction and redefine the term athlete as well. Let this guide inspire you to pursue a balanced and abundant life, transforming challenges into opportunities for growth and excellence. ●

Exercise creates a stimulating effect on the mind, which drives success, peace and stability for those who work out.

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I

[ LOVE ]

The bedroom provides a place to communicate on a deeper level, studies find.

CODE M / MARCH 2024 47

PROFILE

VIBES FOR LIFE The musically gifted Lem Adams caught his Vibe at the age of thirty. He tours the world today helping everyone else catch their own vibe, too.

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Written by DAVID CHRISTEL David has been ghostwriting books for well-known people since 1995. He is also the author of Married Men Coming Out: The Ultimate Guide to Becoming the Man You Were Born to Be.

F

[ PROFILE ] or many children, the lure of learning to play an instrument occurs early. Some instrument catches their eye, their heart, and their imagination, and that then becomes F be a passing fancy, other times a lifelong career. But for Lem Adams, he was a late bloomer. It wasn’t until he was around thirty years of age that an extraordinary instrument caught his interest — and he’s been “vibing” ever since.

Vibraphones — vibes — aren’t usually what you first land on when you think of musical instruments. Piano, strings, horns, woodwinds, percussion — that’s what comes to mind. But vibraphones? Does anyone still play vibraphones? They do and Lem has become a local legend playing vibes in the band “Forecast” since 1980, as well as playing for greats like Earl Klugh, The Crusaders, Stanley Turrentine, Bob Newhart, Roy Ayers, Grover Washington Jr., and many more.

Vibes, invented in 1916, have a unique sound all their own. It became a favorite of jazz orchestras and was even used in classical compositions to add a contemporary jazz flair. Weighing up to 250 pounds, it’s not the easiest to transport and also not the easiest of instruments to learn to play.

When Lem discovered the vibraphone on display in a piano store window on Euclid Ave., he was working in a factory at the time. He didn’t play any instrument of any kind, didn’t even read music. But he’d grown up in a house where his dad played jazz all the time, especially singers. All the jazz greats seeped into Lem’s consciousness, a genre he grew to love.

After purchasing the vibraphone in the store window, the hard work began. Lem was able to get a little training in the instrument but for the most part, he’s self-taught. Very important for a musician, he listens and what he hears, he picks out the vibes. He also listened to the great jazz vibraphonists and studied their techniques and styles. His favorite was Roy Ayers from whom he learned an important lesson.

“I was playing with Roy one day and he pulled me aside and said, ‘You’re doing great man, but I noticed that you sound a bit like me. Do yourself.’

What a wake-up call. I was so used to copying other musicians, that I’d entirely forgotten about myself in the equation.”

So now, Lem had to figure out who he was as a musician. “I’d listen to these guys and grab a lick from this record and a lick from someone else’s record. And then I had to come up and create a feeling of my own.” In that process, Lem eventually let his heart and Soul come through his playing.

And Soul is what music is all about to Lem. “You want to feel the Soul in someone’s playing. But with all of this technology today, you just hit a button and it produces and repeats something perfectly. But it’s not human — there’s no Soul, no authenticity. It used to be that you’d lay a lot of tracks and then you’d piece things together to truly bring it to life. With technology, that’s all going away.”

Lem Adams on the Vibe.

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THE ARTS [ LIFE ]

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[ PROFILE ] trying things out or sitting in an audience soaking up the vibes.

“I’m always listening when I’m performing. I’m also learning, something I’m going to keep doing for the rest of my life. I’m always trying to do something different, to change things, make it better — but without repeating myself. That way, I’m staying fresh and there’s nothing manufactured about my work or performing.”

Lem looks back on some of his early recordings and how he used to play compared to how he plays today. “At times, I sound the same, but I can see how I’ve gotten a little better. There’s always room for improvement. I’m never happy with my playing and because of that, I’m never going to stop trying. I’m going to keep moving on. And audiences pick up on that because your playing is immediate. You want to be in the groove, to be able to touch people. That’s being real, being authentic.”

That process and goal keep Lem continuously striving to expand on his work, and to reach his audience in ways that take them along on his journey. One aspect of that journey involves the comings and goings of band members.

“We’ve had quite a few people join and then eventually leave Forecast for all sorts of reasons. The band has changed a lot, but we’re still gigging. Even though it’s become tough in Cleveland

what with all the competition out there, we’re still playing all over. We’ve been playing more and more festivals and more outdoor venues. Our summers have been great for years.”

But Lem knows how to shift with change whether it’s band members rotating in and out or just how the processes of life creep up on you. The life of a musician often means long nights of playing gigs into the early hours, but now Forecast finishes up by 9 pm. “It’s where life is these days — and taking power naps before a gig works wonders. It’s funny … by the end of an evening, younger players who are completely beaten are wondering how I still have energy. Naps!”

And then there’s the fact that one of the things that keeps Lem going is the fact that he’s now ten years cancer-free. He is always advocating for people to get their yearly checkups.

He was lucky in that his cancer was caught in the very early stages so that he didn’t need to have his prostate removed or deal with chemo — all because he keeps to a yearly checkup schedule. Now, every day is another day of moving forward, diving into his music, and speaking up to younger people and musicians.

Speaking of younger musicians, Lem is very inclusive when it comes to artists who are just starting. He remembers how he

From left to right. John Turner - drums, Riley Richard - sax, Lem Adams - vibes Gary Stevenson - bass, Alphonso McDuffie - keyboards CODE M / MARCH 2024 55

[ LIFE ] was treated when he attended a jam session with a well-known musician by the name of Otis. At the time, Lem only knew one piece, so wasn’t able to fit in with the other musicians. The venue where the jam session was being held was packed with audience members.

Otis, upon finding out from Lem that he knew only the one piece, had never attended a jam session before, and had never had lessons, embarrassed Lem in front of the entire audience by pointing all of this out to them over the mic — at length. A hard lesson for Lem about musicians and the industry, but one in which he learned how important it is to encourage and support other upcoming artists.

“I tell young people to just get out there and create. You never know who will be listening. Whatever you’re producing, that’s you and no one else. Be original because, as the saying goes, everyone else is taken.”

The other thing Lem tells young musicians is to learn to play multiple instruments. “That’s the name of the game these days.

Learn to play two, three, or more instruments. Not only will you get more work that way, you’ll also earn the respect of other musicians and those in the industry. It makes you adaptable, expands your range, and you become marketable.”

Lem Adams on the vibes.

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How this works musically is that by learning several instruments, a musician can communicate more effectively with the bass player, the drummer, and the keyboardist. They’ll know more intrinsically what their fellow bandmates are about and the ‘why’ behind their playing. Lem says, “Learn several instruments and you’ll go much farther in the industry.”

He points out that a lot of great musicians, though people didn’t initially catch on to their style and composition, remained true to their vision and how they wanted to express themselves in the world. Now we look back and marvel at what they gave us musically, their viewpoint, and their genius.

And that may be one of the most challenging aspects of being a musician in today’s world of innumerable distractions, wannabes, and imitators.

“Center on being yourself and don’t lose your drive to create.

Music isn’t limited and neither are you. Take what has come before you, learn from it, and then be an original masterpiece!” ●

[ THE ARTS ]

CODEMM/ /MARCH MARCH2024 20244951 CODE

OPINION

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[ OPINION ]

THE UNLIKELY ROMANCE We often marvel when opposites attract. But we all could learn a lesson from the enjoyment of discovering the power of witnessing polar ends joining forces to laugh, distract, and, interact on a cosmic level.

DEAR CY BORG: A COLUMN WRITTEN BY CHATGPT

Written by CY BORG Cy Borg is an artificial intelligence writer. Using Open A.I., Cy responds to various prompts with fully-qualified answers using the internet and technology.

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O

[ OPINION ]

nce upon a time, in a world filled with the chaos of dating apps, blind dates, and a never-ending quest for true love, there was an age-old saying that seemed to baffle all the experts: “Opposites attract.” How could it be that two people so incredibly different could find themselves irresistibly drawn to each other? Well, my friends, gather ‘round as we explore this perplexing phenomenon with a healthy dose of humor and a touch of madness.

Picture this: a dashing extrovert with a knack for karaoke, and a shy introvert whose idea of a wild night involves a good book and a cozy blanket. They couldn’t be more different if they tried. But lo and behold, these two star-crossed souls found themselves bumping into each other at a trendy coffee shop. Cupid must have been on a break because he accidentally shot an arrow in the wrong direction.

The extrovert, bursting with enthusiasm, decided to break the ice by serenading the introvert with an impromptu rendition of “I Will Survive.” Little did he know, she preferred her coffee without a side of public embarrassment. Yet, as she tried to suppress her giggles, something magical happened.

In the chaos of their differences, a strange connection blossomed.

They say opposites attract like magnets, but this was more like two socks sticking together in the laundry—unexpected and slightly bewildering. Their conversations became a dance of contrasting perspectives, with the extrovert chattering away like a caffeinated squirrel while the introvert listened, amused, and occasionally rolling her eyes.

Their first date was a hilarious disaster of epic proportions.

The extrovert took the introvert to a bustling nightclub, where he showed off his dance moves like a graceful giraffe on roller skates, and she clung to the corner of the bar like a sloth who just discovered caffeine. They couldn’t have been more out of their element, but somehow, it worked.

As time went on, they discovered that their differences complemented each other in strange and unexpected ways. The extrovert brought the introvert out of her shell, gently coaxing her to try new experiences, like skydiving (she screamed the whole way down but secretly loved it). Meanwhile, the introvert grounded the extrovert, reminding him to pause and enjoy the simple pleasures of life, like a quiet sunset or a good puzzle.

They learned to appreciate each other’s quirks, finding humor in their polar opposite tendencies. The extrovert discovered the joy of a cozy night in, snuggled up with a book and hot chocolate, while the introvert discovered the thrill of karaoke, belting out a heartfelt rendition of “Livin’ on a Prayer” (although slightly offkey).

Sure, there were challenges along the way. They had debates about whether to spend their vacations at a lively beach party or a secluded cabin in the woods. But they learned to compromise, taking turns on each other’s preferred adventures, resulting in a blend of unexpected memories that left them laughing and shaking their heads in disbelief.

So, my dear readers, let this be a lesson to you all. Love knows no boundaries, no logic, and certainly no rules. It’s the sheer absurdity of opposites attracting that makes life a delightful, unpredictable roller coaster. Embrace the chaos, cherish the laughter, and remember that the strangest combinations often yield the most extraordinary love stories.

And if you ever find yourself serenaded by an extroverted karaoke enthusiast or dragged onto a dance floor by a shy introvert, take a deep breath, put on your dancing shoes (or remove them, depending on the situation), and enjoy the hilarity that awaits. After all, who needs a perfect match when you can have a perfectly imperfect, sidesplitting adventure of a lifetime? ●

Opposite attraction is explained when two totally different backgrounds find commonality in their differences.

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[ HEALTH ]

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[ OPINION ]

10 STEPS TO SUCCESS FORMULA A simple guide to getting what you want out of life by following these 10 steps to creating a successful formula to achieve your goals.

I

recently shared a powerful series of success principles called “The 10 Steps to Success Formula” with my radio and television audiences. I share these tips on my daily syndicated radio show on Urban One stations nationally and on my daily online television program, “Wake Up & Win with Dr. Willie Jolley.”

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Written by DR. WILLIE JOLLEY Dr. Willie Jolley, Hall of Fame speaker, Sirius XM radio host, and global best-selling author of A Setback Is a Setup For a Comeback and An Attitude of Excellence.

In addition, I shared the 10 Steps on my Sirius XM Willie Jolley Wealthy Ways Radio Show and podcast. The response has been amazing. So many have said it was life changing.

So, I decided to share it with the readers of CODE M Magazine so you could use them to grow your future, your financ-

[ POLITICS ]

CODE M / MARCH 2024 59

[ OPINION ]

I recently shared a powerful series of success principles called “The 10 Steps to Success Formula” with my radio and television audiences. I share these tips on my daily syndicated radio show on Urban One stations nationally and on my daily online television program, “Wake Up & Win with Dr. Willie Jolley.”

In addition, I shared the 10 Steps on my Sirius XM Willie Jolley Wealthy Ways Radio Show and podcast. The response has been amazing. So many have said it was life changing. So, I decided to share it with the readers of CODE M Magazine so you could use them to grow your future, your finances, and your family legacy.

These 10 steps have helped people all around the world to make more money, grow their thinking, and have greater personal and professional success and achievement. Here are the 10 Steps: 1. Decide what you want – How are you going to have a dream come true if you don’t have a dream?

2. Write It Down and Be Specific – Don’t merely say you want to be rich, be specific. Assign a number to it and write it down.

3. Read Your Goals Three Times A Day – Once you create your goal list, read it three times a day to keep you focused.

4. Set the date of accomplishment – Set the date so you won’t procrastinate!

5. Think of It Often – Take time daily for creative thought! Ask

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yourself, “What else can I do to achieve my goals?”

6. Dream and imagine – Use the power of positive visualization. See yourself enjoying what you have been dreaming about.

7. Develop a plan of action – Plan your work, then work your plan. If you fail to plan, you’re planning to fail.

8. Do three things every day towards your goal – Three things done consistently have more impact than ten things done occasionally.

9. Stay positive – Start your day with positive information.

Make motivation as routine as bathing.

10. Act as though you’ve achieved it – Act your way into a new way of thinking and then think your way into a new way of acting. ●

If you would like to get all 10 steps in a full video program, just send me an email at wj@williejolley.com and say you read CODE M and want the “10 Steps to Success.” We’ll send them to you!

Make it a great day today and remember — Your Best Is Yet to Come!

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MUSIC

AKRON NATIVE EXPLAINS HER WHY Lizzen breaks out with her 2024 release, Why, and creates a soothing listening experience that can be enjoyed at any time.

H

ailing from Akron, OH, Lizzen began her musical journey singing at the age of 5. In middle school, she was inspired by the show, Making the Band, to start writing her own music and choreographing dances to her songs. By age 12, she was fully hooked and wrote music whenever she had the chance.

Lizzen reveals that she gains inspiration from her real life experiences and experiences of those around her. This includes relationships, daily obstacles in life, and more.

Lizzen considers music a form of therapy, where she can

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Written by JOHN O. HORTON JR. John O. Horton Jr, aka DJ Johnny O, is the President of the NerveDJs DJ Coalition, a coalition of over 9000+ DJs, Artists, Musicians, Producers and Label & Radio reps. Johnny O has been in the entertainment business for 46 years.

express feelings regarding specific situations someone may face.

While many people struggle with the experiences of life, Lizzen feels that music can be used to cope and as a form of relief. She plans to continue to release music to soothe her fans and help them navigate life. Lizzen is leaving an indelible mark on the world of entertainment. ● Listen to Lizzen’s latest release by clicking the link below: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kfw214EN7p4

LIzzen is from Akron, Ohio.

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FASHION

SWEAT SUITS ARE COOL Being comfortable and making a fashion statement at the same time involves some cool clothes. Sweatsuites get the job done!

Written by LARON HARLEM

A wardrobe shopper, stylist, and accessories designer who specializes in dapper looks that truly appeal to the most discerning eye. mailto: styledbydecar-lo@gmail.com, https://www.styledbydecarlo.com/

Buchanon Sweatsuit by DIFFERENT NEW COOL photo by DLYFE PHOTO

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RIO Sweatsuit by DISTINGUISHED CUSTOM BY RIO BRAVADO photo by DLYFE PHOTO

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Dorian Cordice

Top by RALPH LAUREN

DJ Johnie O is the owner of Nerve DJ’s Mixtapes.

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HAVEN WRIGHT sweatsuit by MURANO shoes by DR MARTENS photo by DLYFE PHOTO CODE M / MARCH 2024 73

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RIO Sweatsuit by DISTINGUISHED CUSTOM BY RIO BRAVADO photo by DLYFE PHOTO

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