CODE M Magazine 2024 January Issue

TRANSFORMING THE LIVES OF MEN

LIVING TOGETHER MIGHT BE BETTER GETTING HER TO THE PEAK

A NEW YEAR OF POSSIBILITIES AND POTENTIAL THE PART-TIME HUSBAND

+

DEMOCRACY ON LIFE SUPPORT

SUBSCRIBE HERE

JANUARY 2024 ISSUE

[ LIFE ]

44 JANUARY 2024 / CODE M

[ HEALTH ]

CODE M / JANUARY 2024 45

[ CLE ]

22 JANUARY2024 / CODE M

[ BUSINESS ]

INSIDE

31 CRACKING THE FEMALE CODE In 2024 men need to minor in understanding women in order to attract, date and keep a woman happy. Here are a few steps that you can take to crack the female code.

ON THE COVER

36

the world!

incorporate fitness training into your life.

DEMOCRACY IS ON LIFE SUPPORT

14 MAN CODES

34 KING’S BELOVED COMMUNITY IN 2024

Optimism.

Americans are caught up in a titanic struggle for the country's future and the survival of

18 GETTING HER TO THE PEAK

King’s dream of Black America prospering needs to become a reality in this 2024 election year.

Democracy. This struggle is of our own making and many players are maneuvering to put our Democracy in a cage, leaving it hobbled and its spirit broken.

12 MOVERS AND SHAKERS Get to know people who are making a difference in their careers and changing

6 JANUARY 2024 / CODE M

This article will help men close the sexual pleasure gap that women experience when attempting to climax. With 65 percent of women getting to the peak, men need to better understand their role in increasing this percentage.

24 A NEW YEAR OF POSSIBILITIES AND POTENTIAL Start 2024 off with a fresh set of workout goals. How you go into next year can set you up for success if you

44 THE PART-TIME HUSBAND Some people who engage in second marriages decide to keep their lives and homes separate, thus creating a marriage that is part-time. But can this new union stand the test of time?

50 LIVING TOGETHER MIGHT BE BETTER With the rise in cost of everything, Americans must find new ways to keep up with the cost of inflation. Living together is

CODE M / JANUARY2024 7

[ INSIDE ] one solution.

57 CREATING OUR FUTURE

16 PERSPECTIVE REALIGNMENT When Kendall Taylor decided to help convicted felons when they come out of prison, he knew it would change their lives. What he didn’t know is that it ended up changing him.

Another election cycle, yet another pivotal year for Blacks in America. It’s critical for Black men to lean into and support each other.

62 THE MUSICAL DUO OF LOUIS YORK Five sensational singers come together to form one incredible group, in an effort to create great music for a hungry audience.

64 BEAUTY BOSSES AND BILLIARDS Playing pool has always been kinda sexy. Check out our interpretation of billiards done CODE M style.

ADVERTISE WITH CODE M Blacks influence the latest trends of popular culture, fashion, and music more than any demographic. Reach them when you advertise with CODE M Magazine. With over 1.4 million viewers monthly, we have your audience.

Call 216-273-9400 to request a rate kit.

4 JANUARY2024 / CODE M

TRANSFORMING THE LIVES OF MEN

ENGINEER RADIO/PODCAST Imari Hill

PUBLISHER Bilal S. Akram

SOCIAL MEDIA Rachel Woods

PRESIDENT Brad J. Bowling SENIOR ADVISOR Alexandria Johnson Boone MANAGING EDITOR David Christel CHIEF OF STAFF Anita G. Butler PAGE EDITORS Anthony Kirby-Lifestyles Laron Harlem-Fashion Paris Lampkins-Movers & Shakers GRAPHIC DESIGN Stiff Arm Media MEDIA COORDINATOR

Carole Anthony

ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES David Williams Kevin Jones IT CONSULTANT Anthony Jones Digital Jetstream, LLC CONTRIBUTING WRITERS David Christel Leslie Logan Brad J. Bowling Garrett Waller Bilal S. Akram Laron Harlem Bolling Smith Chris Matthews Anthony Kirby nce Burnley CODE MEDIA GROUP LLC

EXECUTIVE ASSISTANT

STAFF

To the PUBLISHER

Sharif Akram

Ladonna “Lala” Dicks

Darrell Scott

RADIO/PODCAST HOSTS Darrell Scott Grace Roberts

Subscribe FREE online: www.codemmagazine.com #CODEMAGINTL

To submit comments, feedback or to inquire about advertising please contact us at info@codemediagroupllc.com CEO AND CFO: BILAL AKRAM

bilal.akram@codemediagroupllc.com

216-695-0911

PRESIDENT: BRAD BOWLING

brad.bowling@codemediagroupllc.com

440-796-5763

ADVERTISING: KEVIN JONES

kevin.jones@codemedialgroupllc.com

216-926-3999

CODE M Magazine was created to be a guiding force in creating a dialogue for black men everywhere. Code M focuses on the conversations of advancement, mental health, career choices, the political landscape and relationships that define and shape the lives of black men everywhere.

Code M Magazine is published

by CODE MEDIA GROUP, LLC © 2024 All Rights Reserved

[ TRAVEL ]

CODE M / JANUARY2024 9

MOVERS &

SHAKERS

ERICA ACIE Erica Acie is head of retail origination for Truist Financial Corporation.

She oversees both the direct and retail origination teams and is responsible for the financial priority of the mortgage organization. Acie focuses on building and retaining strong talent by developing and implementing strategies for talent acquisition, training, performance standards, and promoting employee engagement. She maintains collaborative working relationships to drive excellent client satisfaction in an ever-changing digital environment. Lastly, her passion is to drive better lives and communities.

12 JANUARY 2024 / CODE M

Get to know people who are making a difference in their careers and changing the world!

She was named a 2023 Industry Titan by National Mortgage Professionals. With more than 27 years of experience in the mortgage industry ranging from servicing, originations, compliance, fulfillment operations, and post-closing, Acie has spent the last 20 years having strategic oversight of mortgage originations including consumer direct, retail production, wealth, and home equity lending with prominent industry competitors.

Acie currently holds her green belt in Six Sigma, Lean Management certification, bachelor degree in Business Administration, and an MBA with a specialization in Organizational Leadership from Ashford University.

[ MOVERS & SHAKERS ]

DARRICK MCDANIEL In the dynamic landscape of Cleveland's workforce development and community engagement, Darrick McDaniel stands out as a guiding force, intricately weaving a narrative of passion, resilience, and a commitment to social justice. His multifaceted journey, rich in both public service and event management, tells a story that transcends the ordinary.

Embracing a new role, Darrick now serves as the Recruiting and Development Manager for the City of Cleveland Civil Service Commission. In this capacity, he aids job seekers in identifying and leveraging their strengths and skills to benefit the City of Cleveland, fostering individual career success. His responsibilities span recruiting, onboarding, and training on new HR technologies, showcasing a unique blend of analytical and people skills.

DANIELLE MCGEE Meet Danielle McGee, a distinguished small business advocate, entrepreneur, and Tennessee State University professor. Renowned for founding Black Business Boom, she empowers Black-owned businesses through training and mentorship. With an MBA and over 15 years of experience, Danielle has earned awards for entrepreneurship and social media influence. Her visionary leadership extends to Boomin University and Black Owned Nashville, demonstrating her commitment to fostering business growth.

As a certified digital marketer, Danielle's workshops and coaching sessions empower entrepreneurs to build sustainable businesses. Outside work, this Chicago native, now in Nashville since 2016, enjoys global travel and quality time with loved ones.

JAMES ADAMS, JR. James Adams, Jr. is an accomplished graphic designer renowned for his impactful contributions to the Cleveland Cavaliers and Cleveland Monsters. His innovative design prowess has reshaped the visual identity of both teams, leaving an indelible mark on their branding landscape. James is celebrated for co-creating the prestigious Kareem Abdul-Jabbar Social Justice Champion award, showcasing his commitment to social advocacy through design.

He played a pivotal role in crafting the iconic 1967 Cleveland Summit Table monument, commemorating a significant historical event. With an unparalleled eye for detail and a passion for storytelling, James continues to elevate the fan experience and amplify the teams' messages through his creative vision. His dedication to merging creativity with purpose underscores his influence as a trailblazing force in sports design.

CODE M / JANUARY 2024 13

START

Ralph Waldo Emerson

OPTIMISM MAN CODES:

Compiled by Bilal S. Akram

“I chased my dreams. In the end, find what gets you excited and chase it.” - Guion Bluford

all the great changes have been accomplished by optimists.”

- Thomas Friedman

“An optimist understands that life can be a bumpy road, but at least it is leading somewhere. They learn from mistakes and failures, and are not afraid to fail again.”- Harvey Mackay

“Optimism is essential to achievement and it is also the foundation of courage and true progress.” - Nicholas M. Butler

“Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Be mindful. Be grateful. Be positive. Be true. Be kind.”

- Roy T. Bennett

“Whatever we believe about ourselves and our ability comes true for us.” - Susan L. Taylor

“It is the hopeful, buoyant, cheerful attitude of mind that wins. Optimism is a success builder; pessimism an achievement killer.”- Orison Swett Marden

“For myself I am an optimist - it does not seem to be much use to be anything else.” - Winston S. Churchill

“Only those who attempt the absurd can achieve the impossible.” - Albert Einstein

"Just don't give up what you're trying to do. Where there is love and inspiration, I don't think you can go wrong."- Ella Fitzgerald

Romans 15:13 - “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” NIV

“Pessimists are usually right and optimists are usually wrong but

14 JANUARY 2024 / CODE M

CODE M / JANUARY2024 13

[ START ]

PERSPECTIVE REALIGNMENT When Kendall Taylor decided to help convicted felons when they come out of prison, he knew it would change their lives. What he didn’t know is that it ended up changing him.

I

n a land of hope and second chances, convicted felons peer through a different window. Once released from prison, it is a daunting task to gain some type of traction and become a productive member of society again yet again.

Dr. Taylor experienced that firsthand after many visits in and out of the judicial system. In spite of his setbacks, he found a pathway where he could first take control of his life, which in turn led to incredible success in the marketplace. Not feeling quite satisfied with his personal success, he started a nonprofit designed to train men of all ages how to strategically navigate through the hurdles set before them to grab their own slice of the American pie.

Taylor’s non-profit organization is called Salute 1st Global,

16 JANUARY 2024 / CODE M

Written by ANTHONY KIRBY Anthony T. Kirby is the Lifestyle Editor for CODE M Magazine and has spent over 30 years in the menswear industry. He lives in Philadelphia, PA where he is the Creative Director for FINICKEY, an online men's haberdashery brand. (https:// finickey.us)

which is specifically designed to penetrate our current cultural dynamics, where proven methodologies and philosophies can be imparted toward increasing their chances of a positive life and lifestyle.

“With no father present, the struggle is real for a Black man, any man for that matter” Taylor said.

The absence of a father in the home manifests itself in two diverse ways. Either the child is going to succumb to his environment and reduce himself as being a product of it, or he will realign his perspective and capitalize on hidden opportunities where others prematurely abort the mission.

Either way, the decision is made from that shared place of trauma.

“Having a father in the home creates a healthy fear for the

[ START ] child growing up. Healthy fear promotes boundaries that are necessary to establish a sound mind and character,” Taylor continued, “So for me, with no healthy fear present in my home I let the fear of the streets lead me to projecting the very opposite of my fears. I soon became what I feared.”

Taylor spent most of his youth learning how to fight back. He grew accustomed to violence, adapted to toxic environments and sought destructive ways of providing and protecting himself. That led to a life of crime and the associated consequences that accompany it.

But being an intelligent man, Taylor decided to take control of his life and created a healthier world for himself. By changing key areas of his perspective and manhood we rose above his conditions to a stature of being able to help lift others up as well.

Taylor knew if it could work for him, it could work for anyone found willing to make critical sacrifices and also connected to the proper support system.

“People do not understand how challenging it is simply to secure documents of identification which is the elementary stage of regaining your footing and manhood back in society,” Taylor said.

Taylor’s organization trains males who are prepared to endure the challenges that no man can escape. Salute1st Global believes that it’s foolish to build a new life on the sands of yesterday’s thinking. A new foundation of truth and wisdom are the only infrastructure by which we can then add the weight of market penetration and success on top of.

“Felons are never forgiven. Felons struggle because they cannot escape the stigma that is attached to that label,” Taylor said. “As a 3x felon I know the struggles of not being able to secure a loan, apartment, and in most cases, an excellent job. However, I can also testify that “as a man thinketh, so shall he be!” Not where he is from, what his mistakes are or his limitations. It is in the training complex of the mind that we gain control and dominance over the lives we have been given by God.

Taylor and Salute 1st work to recondition the mindsets of men. He has coined the phrase Perspective Realignment. It is defined as working to reshape the perception of the man, then challenging him to produce a more powerful perspective which is the safeguard of all greatness and achievement.

Taylor knows how difficult it is for people who come out of the prison system to forgive themselves. So, he and his team travel the country, giving talks and conducting classes with those who welcome transformative thinking.

Taylor’s organization is currently working with scores of prison systems and organizations to help men develop the coping skills to deal with their past, so they can have a better future.

Taylor is on a mission to end the cycle of destructive behavior for the men he trains. Taylor understands that if he can create a new alignment for the men he helps, it might impact the next three generations of loved ones down the line.

That kind of social impact cannot be quantified in dollars saved in an attempt to gauge the number of future generations of young men who do not go to jail because their father was present in their life or those now equipped to operate at the highest level of self-governance.

“I decided something needed to be done. I also decided I am the one who needed do it,” Taylor said.

There is nothing more fulfilling than manifesting a vision that dwells in the hearts of countless others. Kendall Taylor did! And he wants every man to know that you can do the same if not greater as men. ●

CLT STRONG

Kendall Taylor speaks while his wife, Fantasia looks on.

CODE M / JANUARY 2024 17

HEALTH

GETTING HER TO THE PEAK This article will help men close the sexual pleasure gap that women experience when attempting to climax. With 65 percent of women getting to the peak, men need to better understand their role in increasing this percentage. X

Written by CHRIS A. MATTHEWS Chris A. Matthews is a licensed marriage and family therapist (LMFT) and approved supervisor for the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy. Visit chrisAmatthews.com to learn more about his work with couples and families.

18 JANUARY 2024 / CODE M

[ HEALTH ]

CODE M / JANUARY 2024 19

[ LIFE]

Blacks are being denied the right to vote all over the country.

20 JANUARY 2024 / CODE M

C

[ HEALTH ] iting the words of Alfred Kinsey, renowned researcher and founder of the Institute for Sex Research at Indiana University, “Sex is the most profoundly joyous, thrilling, and satisfying human experience.” Let’s delve into the factors that influence human sexual pleasure.

This article zooms in on a specific part of this experience, shining a light on the challenges women often face in achieving orgasm compared to men. As we navigate through the diverse experiences of sexuality, we aim to help you understand better the unique journey women have when it comes to reaching orgasm.

Examining orgasm frequency among gay, lesbian, bisexual, and heterosexual individuals, the study conducted by Frederick, John, Garcia, et al. (2018) and published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior reveals a notable contrast. It shows that 95% of heterosexual men usually or always experience orgasms during partnered sexual activity, while only 65% of heterosexual women report a similar frequency.”

In heterosexual relationships, a significant issue has come to light known as the “orgasm gap” revealing a notable difference in how often men and women experience orgasms. This issue, emphasized

by University of Florida professor Laurie Mintz, author of Becoming Cliterate: Why Orgasm Equality Matters — And How to Get It, points to a broader problem of cultural unawareness regarding the clitoris.

This stark contrast highlights the need for understanding and addressing this disparity.

According to Professor Mintz, a primary factor contributing to the orgasm gap is the lack of knowledge about the clitoris, a crucial organ responsible for sexual pleasure.

What role does the clitoris play in female orgasm?

Artist Sophia Wallace provides a vivid metaphor, comparing the clitoris to a closed flower with a special part inside, housing numerous nerve endings that contribute to a woman’s sexual pleasure.

Wallace stresses that the clitoris is not a small button but has a more complex structure than commonly believed.

Wallace, known for her work at the intersection of bodies and ethics, emphasizes the part of a woman’s body that experiences the most sexual pleasure, clarifying that it is not the vagina but the vulva, particularly the external clitoris — a “nub” within the vulva housing approximately 8,000 nerve endings.

Explaining the anatomy further, Wallace notes that the bulbs of the clitoris surround the vagina. When the clitoris is engaged and aroused, penetration can be highly pleasurable. However, when it remains unaroused, the experience may range from discomfort to a

lack of sensation, as the source of sensation and pleasure lies in the clitoris, not the vagina.

The clitoris, derived from the Greek word meaning “key,” plays a central role in unlocking sexual pleasure, being the sole organ in the human body dedicated to this purpose.

Despite its significance, there exists a prevalent cultural ignorance surrounding it, perpetuating the orgasm gap in heterosexual relationships.

Achieving orgasm during penetration is often enhanced through clitoral stimulation, and there are various methods to explore, such as: •

Experimenting with different sexual positions to intensify pressure on the clitoris.

•

Engaging in manual stimulation of the clitoris.

•

Incorporating the use of sex toys.

However, it’s crucial to prioritize communication in the pursuit of pleasure. For some individuals, intense clitoral stimulation may be uncomfortable or even painful making it an unsuitable approach for achieving more orgasms. Understanding and discussing personal preferences contribute to a more satisfying and enjoyable sexual experience.

What does the research reveal about orgasms?

•

According to a study by Debby Herbenick and colleagues (2018), a staggering 81.6% of women do not orgasm from intercourse alone, emphasizing the crucial role of clitoral stimulation. Only 18.4% find intercourse sufficient for orgasm.

•

The Journal of Sexual Medicine, in a study by Bhat and Shastry (2020), found that women take an average of 14 minutes to reach orgasm during partnered sex, compared to 8 minutes during solo masturbation. Understanding these timelines contributes to a more informed discussion about sexual satisfaction.

•

A study by Amanda Moser (2019) revealed that 40% of women reported an increased ability to achieve multiple orgasms with the use of cannabis during sexual activities.

•

Research by Darling, Davidson, and Jennings (1991) discovered that 43% of women have experienced multiple orgasms, shedding light on the complex nature of female sexual responses.

•

National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior found that men are more likely to orgasm when sex includes CODE M / JANUARY 2024 21

[ HEALTH ] vaginal intercourse; women are more likely to orgasm when they engage in a variety of sex acts and when oral sex or vaginal intercourse are included.

What should you do if your partner can’t orgasm?

apist can provide valuable insights and potential solutions. Remember, seeking help is a proactive step toward a healthier sexual relationship.

•

Focus on intimacy: While orgasms are an enjoyable part of sexual experiences, emphasize the importance of overall intimacy and connection. A fulfilling sexual relationship involves more than just reaching orgasm and is built on emotional closeness, trust, and communication.

•

Patience and understanding: Be patient and understanding. It’s essential to avoid pressure or expectations around achieving orgasm. Focus on creating a comfortable and relaxed environment where both partners can explore and enjoy their sexual connection.

Anorgasmia, a term denoting the inability to achieve orgasm, is a condition that some women may experience. If your partner faces challenges in reaching orgasm, it’s essential to approach the topic with sensitivity and support. Here’s what you need to know: •

It’s not uncommon: It’s crucial to recognize that anorgasmia is not uncommon. Some women may never experience orgasm, while others might encounter it later in life. It’s a diverse spectrum, and patience is key.

•

Factors at play: Anorgasmia is often influenced by a combination of mental and physical factors. Stress, anxiety, or past experiences can contribute to difficulties in reaching orgasm.

Understanding and addressing these factors together can be beneficial.

•

Open communication: Encourage open communication with your partner. Make it a safe space for her to share her feelings, desires, and any concerns she may have regarding sexual satisfaction. Create an environment where she feels comfortable expressing herself without judgment.

•

Seek professional guidance: If anorgasmia becomes a significant concern, consider seeking professional guidance together. A visit to a gynecologist, primary care doctor, or sex ther-

What can men do to close the pleasure gap?

In the pursuit of closing the pleasure gap between men and women, it becomes crucial to consider the role that relationship dynamics play in women’s orgasmic experiences. A study

by Armstrong, England, and Fogarty (2012) sheds light on this aspect, revealing that women in relationships lasting six months or more are more than six times as likely to orgasm during a sexual encounter compared to women in first-time hookups. As men strive to contribute to equitable sexual experiences, recognizing the significance of relationship duration becomes imperative.

Additionally, men can actively embrace a more inclusive approach to intimacy, moving beyond conventional views of penetrative sex. Prioritizing extended foreplay, placing emphasis on attentive clitoral stimulation, and exploring diverse forms of sexual pleasure are pivotal steps. Such an approach not only directly addresses the orgasm gap but also fosters a better understanding of female sexual satisfaction.

By investing time in discovering and appreciating the unique preferences of their partners, men can embark on a shared journey toward mutual pleasure and fulfillment. This proactive effort contributes to the creation of a deeper, more satisfying connection within the relationship, making men valuable contributors to a more equitable and enriched sexual experience for both themselves and their partners. ●

Couples in tune with each other sexually enjoy each other more.

22 JANUARY 2024 / CODE M

[ LIFE ]

For those that did not have the protection of a male growing up said they struggled to see it or acknowledge the value of it when they did encounter it.

Black women will often feel more lonely due to the lack of protection from the daily chores of their life.

CODE M / JANUARY 2024 23

[ HEALTH ]

A NEW YEAR OF POSSIBILITIES AND POTENTIAL Start 2024 off with a fresh set of workout goals. How you go into next year can set you up for success if you incorporate fitness training into your life.

Written by GARRETT WALLER Garrett is the founder and owner of Garrett Waller, LLC, "A Fitness, Health, & Lifestyle Company." Garrett has his BS in Psychology and is a nationally certified personal trainer. He helps people find more freedom in their lives through a commitment to fitness and an active lifestyle. https://garrettwaller.com

24 JANUARY 2024 / CODE M

[ HEALTH ]

CODE M / JANUARY 2024 25

[ LIFE ]

26 JANUARY 2024 / CODE M

W

[ HEALTH ]

elcome to a new year of possibilities and potential. The best way to ensure success in any aspect of life this year is by maintaining a focus on consistent improvement in health and fitness. It’s easy to dig deeper into the rabbit hole with all of the science and misinformation on exercise readily available on the Internet, however, simplifying strength training is the key to making a turning point in health and fitness that will have a lasting effect.

capacity.

Strength training is a journey, not a destination. To succeed, we must lay down a foundation, strip away the myths, and embrace the simplicity of building strength. Our focus: concentrating on power, resilience, and holistic fitness.

Start with the basics — compound exercises that engage multiple muscle groups. Compound exercises engage more muscles and burn more calories in an efficient way than other exercises. The deadlift, squats, and pushups are timeless classics that form the backbone of any effective strength training routine. These exercises not only maximize your time exercising but also ensure a comprehensive full-body workout.

The main goal of strength training is to increase the ability of muscles to generate force against resistance. As a result, muscles are more powerful and have more endurance, and strength. Key components of strength training include: Resistance: This can be provided by using free weights like dumbbells, kettlebells, barbells, weight machines, resistance bands, or even body weight.

Repetition: This refers to the number of times an exercise is performed consecutively and “sets” are groups of repetitions.

Intensity: The level of difficulty or resistance in strength training is often referred to as intensity. This can be adjusted by changing the amount of weight lifted, the resistance applied, or the duration of an exercise or set.

Progression: Over time, individuals gradually increase the intensity of their strength training to continually challenge the muscles and promote further adaptation and growth.

Mental Health: Strength training has been linked to improved mental well-being, including reduced symptoms of depression and anxiety.

Strength training is adaptable to different fitness levels, making it accessible to individuals of all ages and abilities.

Incorporating a well-rounded strength training program into your fitness routine can contribute to a healthier, more resilient body.

The following are fundamental movement patterns. Each of these movements targets different muscle groups and contributes to overall strength, stability, and functional fitness.

Let’s break down each one: Squat: Bending at the hips and knees to lower the body, as if sitting down and then standing back up primarily targets the legs, hips, and core. This movement also strengthens the muscles around the spine and upper back by keeping a proper upright posture throughout the movement.

Push: Pushing resistance away from the body engages the chest, shoulders, and triceps.

Strength training offers a wide range of benefits, including:

Pull: Pulling a resistance toward the body targets the muscles of the back, including the latissimus dorsi and rhomboids, as well as the biceps.

Muscle Strength and Size: Regular strength training stimulates muscle fibers, which leads to an increase in muscle size (hypertrophy) and strength.

Lunge: Stepping forward or backward and lowering the body until both knees are bent at a 90-degree angle works the quadriceps, hamstrings, glutes, and calves.

Bone Health: Resistance training helps maintain or improve bone density and reduces the risk of osteoporosis.

Hinge: Bending at the hips while keeping the back straight, such as in deadlifts or kettlebell swings primarily targets the posterior chain, including the hamstrings, glutes, and lower back.

Metabolism: More muscle means more metabolism! Building muscle through strength training contributes to an increase in resting metabolic rate, and aids in weight management.

Joint Health: Strengthening the muscles around joints provides support and can reduce the risk of injury.

Functional Fitness: Improved strength translates to enhanced performance in daily activities and increased overall functional

Carry: Carrying a weight for a distance, such as a “farmer’s walk” or “suitcase carry,” engages various muscles, particularly the core, shoulders, and hand grip.

Plank: Holding a push-up position with the body in a straight line, engaging the core muscles to maintain stability and focusing on strengthening all muscles of the core. Think CODE M / JANUARY 2024 27

[ HEALTH ] about including each of these elements in a workout routine either in each workout or within a week to ensure that each muscle group and movement pattern is strengthened.

Consistency is key. Begin with bodyweight exercises, master your form, and progressively increase resistance. Strength is a gradual process that demands dedication. Don’t forget to incorporate flexibility training and allow for sufficient recovery as a well-rounded approach ensures not only muscle growth but also longevity in your fitness journey.

Section 2: Monthly Triumphs – The Roadmap to Success Let’s break down the year into manageable, achievable goals.

Instead of overwhelming yearly resolutions, here is a monthly triumph strategy, providing a roadmap to success that keeps motivation and excitement about your fitness journey at a high level.

Dedicate each month in the first quarter of the year to mastering the consistency of a single exercise. Pick several repetitions to do each day of the week taking one rest day.

Either do the same amount of repetitions every day or add 5 repetitions every day to increase the intensity as you get stronger. Complete the daily goal every 24 hours and the repetitions can be broken up into sets as needed to fit time and ability constraints.

Many training clients and members of online training programs have had great success in getting exponentially stronger and dropping significant weight and body fat with this regimen. Be sure to take pictures on the first and last day of the month to see your progress.

January is about laying the groundwork for the strength you’re about to cultivate. The foundation for fitness starts with the body’s foundation, the legs. Start the year off with squats every day. Begin with 5, 25, 50, or 100 squats, and do 5 additional squats every day of the month, resting as needed. Be sure to stretch and do the squats with proper form.

Turn up the heat in February and build the upper body with pushups. Start with 25, 100, 150, or 300 pushups and hit that mark every day. Do as many as possible for each set. By the end of the month, shirts will fit differently and the physical change will be apparent in before and after pictures.

Make the most of March by rounding out the first quarter of the year doing glute bridges every day. Commit to doing 25, 50, or 100 repetitions of glute bridges each day and watch the effect on transforming your body. By April 1st, a different person will emerge not just physically but mentally as well having completed such a high level of commitment. At the same time, other accomplishments outside of health and fitness will be achieved and the power to make the most of every opportunity 2024 has to offer will have been achieved.

As 2024 unfolds, let a commitment to strength be your guiding force. The simplicity of the approach, the tenacity in the monthly challenges, and the sheer joy in conquering them will define a yearlong journey. This isn’t just a resolution; it’s a transformative expedition of forging ahead, one month at a time.

May 2024 be the year men excel not just in the gym but in life. Remember that every drop of sweat, every sore muscle, and every challenge overcome is a testament to your strength, both physical and mental. This journey is not just about building a better body; it’s about becoming a better version of yourself in 2024! ●

Fitness training 4 to 5 times a week creates a winning formula for fitness success.

28 JANUARY 2024 / CODE M

[ LIFE ]

Do not blame yourself for being unmotivated.

Forgive yourself and work to get back to being the person you know you can be.

CODE M / JANUARY 2024 29

[ LIFE ]

30 JANUARY 2024 / CODE M

OPINION

CRACKING THE FEMALE CODE In 2024 men need to minor in understanding women in order to attract, date, and keep a woman happy. Here are a few steps that you can take to crack the female code.

DEAR CY BORG: A COLUMN WRITTEN BY CHATGPT

Written by CY BORG Cy Borg is an artificial intelligence writer.

Using Open A.I., Cy responds to various prompts with fully-qualified answers using the internet and technology.

I

n a world full of mysteries and enigmas, there is one perplexing riddle that has stumped humanity for centuries: women and their ever-changing preferences. We have all heard the age-old stereotypes about women being fickle creatures, but today, dear readers, we are here to unravel the truth behind this fascinating phenomenon.

Let’s dive into the puzzling realm of female fickleness, where even the most experienced experts struggle to keep up. Just when you think you’ve cracked the code, they throw you a curveball. It’s like trying to solve a Rubik’s Cube blindfolded while riding a unicycle — challenging, unpredictable, and, let’s admit it, hilarious.

First and foremost, let us address the elephant in the room: women and their wardrobes. One day, they can spend hours agonizing over the perfect outfit, trying on countless options and dismissing each one with a slight shake of the head. Yet, on another occasion, they can miraculously whip together a stunning ensemble in under five minutes, leaving us mere mortals wondering how in the world they managed that sorcery.

Oh, but it doesn’t stop there. Women’s preferences extend far beyond fashion. From the realm of food to the CODE M / JANUARY 2024 31

[ OPINION ]

I

Teachers all across the country are leaving the teaching profession due to unruly kids.

32 JANUARY 2024 / CODE M

[ OPINION ]

world of movies, their fickleness reigns supreme. Remember the time you took your significant other to a fancy restaurant, only for her to complain about the portion sizes, the lack of vegetarian options, and the excessive use of truffle oil? Fast forward to the next day, and suddenly she’s devouring a greasy burger like it’s her last meal on earth. Talk about a rollercoaster ride for our taste buds.

Movies, my friends, are an entirely different beast. You suggest watching a romantic comedy, thinking you’ve nailed it this time.

But alas, she scoffs at the mere mention of it, claiming she’d rather watch an action-packed thriller or a gripping documentary. You begrudgingly switch gears, only to find her dozing off within the first ten minutes. It’s a true conundrum: How can someone be so passionate about something one minute and completely indifferent the next?

changing preferences, take a step back, embrace the absurdity, and simply go with the flow. After all, life is much more entertaining when it’s sprinkled with a dash of unpredictability. And who knows, maybe one day we’ll unravel the mysteries of the female mind, but until then, let’s enjoy the ride.

Disclaimer: This article is intended purely for humor and should not be taken as a generalization of women or their preferences. We acknowledge that everyone, regardless of gender, has their unique tastes and quirks. ●

Even the world of technology is not spared from the whims of the female mind. You spend hours researching the perfect gadget, meticulously reading reviews, and weighing all the pros and cons. You proudly present your findings to your lady, expecting nothing short of a standing ovation. But what do you get? A raised eyebrow, a skeptical look, and a simple, devastating sentence: “It’s not really what I had in mind.”

But fear not, my comrades, for there is hope.

Beneath the seemingly chaotic surface lies a method to the madness. You see, women have mastered the art of keeping us on our toes.

They are the secret puppeteers, pulling our strings with their unpredictable nature. And while it may drive us to the brink of insanity, we must admit that life would be a lot less exciting without their charming quirks.

So, the next time you find yourself scratching your head, trying to decipher a woman’s ever-

Understanding women can be hard to do without experience.

CODE M / JANUARY 2024 33

[ OPINION ]

34 JANUARY 2024 / CODE M

[ OPINION ]

KINGS’ BELOVED COMMUNITY IN 2024 King’s dream of Black America prospering needs to become a reality in this 2024 election year.

W

e live in a world that many believe is headed in the wrong direction of divisiveness, racism, antisemitism, hatred, violence, suppression and overall hopelessness. If there ever was a time when millions of people in America and throughout the world should revisit and reembrace the exemplary teachings and transformative social justice strategy of Martin Luther King, Jr., it is now: 2024.

As the acknowledgement and celebration of Martin Luther King, Jr. National Holiday in the United States is reflectively and prospectively observed, I think is timely to reassert Dr. King’s vision and commitment to a “Beloved Community.” Dr. King defined the Beloved Community as a global community where “caring and compassion drive political policies that support the worldwide elimination of poverty and hunger and all forms of bigotry and violence.

At its core, the ‘Beloved Community’ is an engine of reconciliation.” A review of national and international political policies today leave much to be yet desired and fulfilled. We should, however, be more mindful of the actual progress that has been made to at least identify and to prioritize the elimination of worldwide poverty and hunger. According to the United Nations, progress is being made to end poverty and hunger.

Much more needs to be done not just to have a more accurate quantification of world poverty and hunger, but also to actually work more effectively and efficiently to end poverty and hunger.

We do confess that in 2024 in America there is now an unprecedented increase in racial violence and antisemitism. There needs to be a revived clarion call to action to stand up, speak out, and to take action against all forms of antisemitism and racism.

Is reconciliation possible in today’s circumstances and challenges across the nation and throughout the world? The answer is “Yes.” Are racial justice and equality possible today in America and globally? The answer is “Yes.” The answers to these two

Written by Dr. Benjamin F. Chavis Jr. Dr. Benjamin F. Chavis Jr. is President and CEO of the National Newspaper Publishers Association (NNPA), Executive Producer of www.TheChavisChronicles.com on PBS TV Network, Executive Producer of www.TheGoodNewsRadio.com on Audacy and USBC Radion Networks

questions are “Yes” provided we do what Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. called for to happen.

The Beloved Community according to Dr. King was not some abstract ideal of philia love that falls out of heaven above via an apocalyptic osmosis intervention by the Creator of humanity and the world. Dr. King’s belief and life exemplified that ending poverty, hunger, racism, antisemitism, violence and war requires the kind of love that involves activism, engagement, movement-building, social transformation, racial and ethnic justice, equality, financial literacy, equity, and ultimately reconciliation. Dr. King believed and affirmed the “oneness of all of humanity.”

2024 presents opportunity and responsibility for all to work together across the lines of race, ethnicity, religion, and national origin toward a more perfect union and toward ensuring a world where all people are respected, protected, and empowered. In conclusion, here in the United States, 2024 is also a national election year.

Voting rights are fundamental to democracy. The call of Dr. King’s memory and legacy demands that fulfilling the Beloved Community also means helping to activate and to mobilize that largest voter turnout in American history. So much is at stake about the outcome of the 2024 elections. There are evil forces at play to convince people to be cynical about whether of not they should vote. Voting is also a sacred responsibility because of the blood, lives, and sacrifices that were made to get the right to vote. Don’t let anyone trick you into not voting. Let’s get to work.

Let’s continue to make a difference. I am optimistic, not pessimistic about the future. The fulfillment and activation of the Beloved Community is at-hand. I affirm the oneness of all our humanity. God bless the global Beloved Community is at hand. ● CODE M / JANUARY 2024 35

COVER

DEMOCRA

ON LIFE SUPP

Americans are caught up in a titanic struggle for the country's future Democracy. This struggle is of our own making and many players ar put our Democracy in a cage, leaving it hobbled and its spir Cover and inside photos taken by Franklin Solomon.

36 JANUARY 2024 / CODE M

ACY

PORT

[ COVER ]

Written by DAVID CHRISTEL David has been ghostwriting books for well-known people since 1995. He is also the author of Married Men Coming Out: The Ultimate Guide to Becoming the Man You Were Born to Be.

e and the survival of re maneuvering to rit broken.

CODE M / JANUARY 2024 37

[ COVER ]

W

hat the hell is going on with America? From the looks of it, we, as a country, seem to be spiraling out of control, heading down a rabbit hole that only spells disaster. Democracy is under attack by a debilitating virus for which there is no magic pill to take or a Captain Marvel standing by to save us.

transgender people, the LGBTQ+ community, nonChristians, educated people, and science. In 2022 there were 1,225 active hate groups in the US, an increase from 733 the previous year.

The Anti-Defamation League reported in October 2023 that: •

Of the total number of reported hate crime incidents, a clear majority (approximately 56 percent) were motivated by bias based on race, ethnicity, or national origin — as has been the case for the last three decades — with reported anti-Black hate crimes making up the vast majority of those incidents.

•

Reported hate crimes based on sexual orientation bias rose from 1,707 in 2021 to 1,944 in 2022.

•

Reported hate crimes based on gender-identity bias rose from 342 in 2021 to 469 in 2022.

•

Reported religion-based hate crimes, which represented approximately 18 percent of all reported hate crimes, rose from 1,590 in 2021 to 2,042 in 2022.

From the looks of it, Democracy is severely in need of life support, an infusion to fight off the deadly virus. And the name of that pernicious virus? Fear.

We are caught up in a titanic struggle for America’s future and the survival of Democracy. This struggle is of our own making and many players are maneuvering to put our Democracy in a cage, hobbled and its spirit broken. Fear is driving this predicament, and it has two legs upon which it stands: the fear of loss and the lust for power.

In our two-party system of governance, a full spectrum of players on both sides are stoking the fires of discontent, confusion, and anxiety. We have far right and far left extremists of every stripe fomenting conspiracies, advocating radical agendas, and doing whatever it takes to advance their positions, ideology, and legislation.

•

Far-right players are perceived as wanting control, power, authority, and a populace governed by a one-dimensional, myopic, hive-minded mentality with a two-tiered hierarchy: the elite and the labor class. They support book banning, white-washing history, disenfranchisement of specific groups, elitism, a one-religion nation, and capitalism above all.

•

Far-left players are perceived as wanting to bring about revolutionary socialism, which would include the dissolution of capitalism, consumerism, and social inequality. They are considered anti-establishment — calling for a fundamental change to the capitalist socio-economic structure of society — and are anti-globalism.

How many dystopian short stories, sci-fi novels, movies, and television shows have been written with these as their plot lines?

Both sides employ the same methodologies and tools to get their way: spinning information and manipulating facts, obfuscation and confusion, denial and avoidance, deflection and blame, psychological warfare, propaganda, and violence. All of these create uncertainty and paranoia and thus lead to the polarizing divisiveness so useful in the business, religious, academic, cultural, and political arenas. Fear is the name of the game.

All this fear-mongering has devolved into an unreasonable hate and terror of people of color, migrants, Muslims, Jews,

38 JANUARY 2024 / CODE M

All this hate being flung about is pushing people to act out in ways that they ordinarily wouldn’t. Decisions are being made by state legislatures trying to straitjacket citizens to abolish independent thinking and non-traditional lifestyles.

Attempts are being made to enforce compliance and quash those who are “different,” which includes those who are non-white, non-Christian, non-binary, transgender, gender fluid, non-American, and who don’t adhere to a nationalistpatriot conviction.

All of this xenophobic behavior has some people calling for a federal constitutional convention that would do one thing: lock in political control and power for conservatives and reverse 115 years of progressivism.

Nancy MacLean and Arn Pearson wrote in an article dated December 11, 2023, in The Progressive Magazine that essentially, the far right is looking to create a weak central government “to prevent the federal government from responding to national emergencies and economic downturns, but to roll back clean drinking water protections, civil rights, anti-discrimination laws, and our most valued social safety nets like Social Security.”

MacLean and Pearson also reported that “Republican legislators from forty-nine states … voted to propose six amendments to the Constitution that would lock in conservative control of the US Supreme Court, impose Congressional term limits, hamstring federal spending, severely limit

[ COVER ]

2024 will be a critical year for Americans based on their choices for president.

CODE M / JANUARY 2024 39

[ HEALTH ]

Getting help for mental illness is still a struggle for most men.

46 JANUARY 2024 / CODE M

[ COVER ] the Commerce Clause (the basis for most federal environmental, labor, consumer, and civil rights protections), and allow a simple majority of states to overturn any federal law, Executive Order, or administrative ruling they don’t like.”

It appears that the basis for this movement is to ensure that specific power players — the captains of capitalism and politics — end up running the show.

Conversely, far-left radicals are seeking to reject state authority and restrictions on personal liberty, whether that’s at a state or federal level. In opposition to far-right desires of an authoritarian scenario, the far left believes that strengthening government and security institutions leads directly to a police state or fascism. To combat this, the far left feels they must arm themselves in defense against the far right’s push for power and control.

So, the two legs of Fear — the fear of loss and the lust for power — are clearly in evidence with both sides. Each fears losing possessions, territory, privileges, lifestyle, rights, status and position, and power (personal power and/or power over others). The lust for power, whether that’s to ensure personal autonomy or to exact control over others, drives many to exclusivity, separatism, deceit, manipulation, game-playing, and either legal maneuvering or outright illegal acts.

Democracy doesn’t stand a chance with such formidable forces working to eviscerate our laws and protections, undermine the health and well-being of our people, and dismantle support for our environment that also nurtures our citizens on so many levels. And, of course, each side points a finger at the other blaming them for all the country’s ills and claiming that the other side is poisoning the populace with their rhetoric, lies, mis/disinformation, warped education, etc.

The group that’s left out of this equation is everyone in between the extremists, the ones who want things to work smoothly, where everyone is taken care of, big government isn’t too intrusive, people are allowed to be themselves, the same protections are afforded everyone, and everyone’s rights are respected. At face value, that’s what people are expecting democracy to provide — democracy “of the people, by the people, for the people.”

Yet, with over 333 million citizens, and of those there are 210 million registered voters, one has to wonder why our Democracy is in such danger. The answer is simple: special interests supported by those who stand to gain the lion’s share. It doesn’t matter whether it’s money, land, resources, prominence, positioning, titles, awards, religion, or people — it all comes down to the acquisition and wielding of power. And one thing people in power want to ensure is that nothing changes unless it enhances their authority, control, and bottom line.

The purpose of having a democracy, though, is to evolve and empower its citizens through their participation and ability to persuade the powerful to act for the greater good; to promote progress through peaceful competition between disparate interests and ideas; ensure no individual, group, or entity exploits others; and to provide an avenue of governance via representation and fair elections.

But there are those for whom democracy is an obstacle getting in the way of their agendas. For them, rules are made for breaking because all that matters is their lust for power, their greed, and the stroking of their ego. But for the majority of Americans, Democracy is the gold standard to which all countries should adhere. The right to freedom of expression, to be whoever you envision, and to reach for the stars is the bedrock of self-determination and free will.

We need some new apparatus of Democracy to come into play, but what? Anymore, there seems to be so little respect for the Democratic principles upon which our country was founded.

1.

Participation of citizens

2.

Majority rule, minority rights

3.

Equality

4.

Accountability

5.

Transparency

6.

Political tolerance

7.

Civil-military relations

8.

A free press

9.

Freedom of speech

10. Freedom of religion 11. A multi-party system 12. Control over the abuse of power 13. Freedom of economy 14. Bill of rights

15. Human rights 16. Free and fair elections 17. Free courts 18. Accepting election results 19. Rule of law All of the above were put in place to protect our freedoms CODE M / JANUARY 2024 41

42 JANUARY 2024 / CODE M

[ COVER ] and basic rights. Key to the Democratic process is a commitment to the values of tolerance, cooperation, and compromise — a significant challenge to accomplish with a population that at times is akin to trying to herd cats.

We are, in short, a conglomeration of realities, all striving for purpose, significance, and meaning — intangibles far beyond the mere act of daily survival. Each individual is a universe unto themselves full of promise and seeking outlets in which to explore who they are and to expand their horizons. We live in a country in which opportunity awaits us — but not if Democracy disappears down the tubes.

History is rife with so many examples of failed empires, dynasties, and governments of all kinds. They failed because humans allowed their greed and lust for power to overtake them. They let their egos dupe them into believing that they were special over others, more important, more deserving, even gods among men. We’ve always had the haves and have-nots, the people willing to enslave others be it physically, economically, emotionally, religiously, or intellectually.

the fact that we’re in this together.

We don’t need to go the route of living out the adage “divided we fall.” Right now, we’re tremendously fragmented, unwittingly maneuvered by the powers that be into camps, tribes, and easily manipulated demographics. We’re a force being used on ourselves to create even greater dissonance and division. The result is that we are, in a word, imploding.

It’s time to change that narrative, time to get our country back on the Democracy track where it’s not about selfinterest. A true patriot doesn’t let special interests undercut our Constitution, corrupt our judiciary, and advocate one way to live and one way to think. As the Constitution states: “We the People of the United States, to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.” Let’s go for it! ●

These same kinds of people are tunneling under the bedrock of Democracy to create specious legal loopholes, build conduits to siphon off wealth for themselves and create mechanisms that will shelter them from scrutiny and accountability.

For those who believe in Democracy, the hope is still there that we will somehow be able to wade through the muck of so much disastrous self-interest, selfishness, self-indulgence, selfaggrandizement, self-idolization — self-serving self-addiction — and see just how much we stand to lose if we let Democracy wane.

America needs to wake up, not in the sense of being “woke,” but to remove their blinders so they can grasp the enormity of our downward spiral. The answers we’re seeking to save ourselves are not going to be found in short-term fixes, the bandaides that politicians and corporations like to tantalize us with.

We need to stop relying on authority figures to do our thinking for us.

As citizens, we need to get involved again, really learn how our government works, and determine who among our leaders and legislators is actually in the business of governance, not just the game of politics. We also need to remember and work toward

Blacks have so much to consider in the 2024 presidential election.

CODE M / JANUARY 2024 43

LIFE

THE PART-TIME HUSBAND Some people who engage in second marriages decide to keep their lives and homes separate, thus creating a marriage that is part-time. But can this new union stand the test of time?

Written by BRAD BOWLING Brad Bowling is the President of CODE Media Group, LLC. Bowling has his BA in mass media communication and an MBA in marketing. He contributes articles to the magazine continuing his love for writing.

44 JANUARY 2024 / CODE M

[ LIFE ]

CODE M / JANUARY 2024 45

[ HEALTH ]

M

Couples who put God in their marriage tend to stay together longer than couples that do not.

46 JANUARY 2024 / CODE M

T

[ LIFE ] here is a new trend spreading across the country where people who have been single for several years enter into marriage but decide to keep as much of their single life as possible. With online dating, couples are meeting from various parts of the country and the world.

The trend for some adults is to maintain their separate lives while seeing each other on the weekend. Many adults, close to retirement or who have careers that won’t allow them to move, are choosing to remain in those positions — but they don’t want to miss their potential soulmate. For some people, the idea of keeping the parts of their lives they have learned to covet is important to them.

For others, the idea of re-merging their lives with another person is too much to consider. They enjoy the alone time while at the same they desire the company of another person. That means a weekend love affair solidified in marriage.

The tricky part of being a part-time husband is finding the right balance between being semi-single and semi-married at the same time.

“For me, it meant going to see her on the weekends,” John from Washington DC said. “I work in a specific field, which means I need to be in DC all week, but I can also fly on the weekends to be with the best woman I’ve ever met.”

dren. So, they create situations that allow the best of both worlds.

Can a marriage survive living separately?

In many cases, being married but living in separate homes is better than being mentally spaced apart while living under the same roof, and then only for the relationship to become bitter. For married couples living separately, the space that they get can work wonders for their relationship.

Relationship therapists are finding that this trend is starting to creep into existing marriages as well. Couples who have been married for multiple years choose to sleep in separate beds and separate homes.

Some couples maintain that living together but sleeping apart saves their relationship. By living apart, they could have their own space, avoid constant fighting, and give their relationship time to heal. Some opt to live together apart to prevent divorce, especially if they have young children.

Living together but sleeping apart often starts with some

In today’s world of online dating, people are meeting and dating long distances more than ever. To remain in meaningful relationships, couples are finding creative ways to make it work.

“I was single for almost nine years, but when I met my husband, I knew I didn’t want anyone else. So, we produced a plan to allow me to finish my career and retire in six years, and then go and join him when I’m done.” Susan in Phoenix explained. “Now I’m wondering if I will move an hour north to be with him. What we’re doing works for us, so why change it.”

Because most singles in their forties to sixties maintain their bills, for some, it doesn’t make sense to lose equity in a home, leave a good-paying job, or move away from their children and grandchil-

Couples who live apart work to find different ways to spend time together.

CODE M / JANUARY 2024 47

[ HEALTH ]

48 JANUARY 2024 / CODE M

[ LIFE ] sacrifice to aid the family. For example, one partner snores, so sleeping separately allows for better sleep.

“My wife slept in the kids’ room to prevent them from getting in our bed,” John from Memphis said. “But what ended up happening is that by the fourth kid, we had been sleeping apart for almost nine years, so we grew apart. We still had sex, but we didn’t cuddle or pillow talk anymore.”

When physical activity is reduced, other variables creep into the marriage as well. So, while they are in the same house, each person becomes a part-time spouse to the other. It takes time for the true separation to be noticed. And often, by the time the couple realizes it, the separation has caused them to have nothing in common anymore.

How long can spouses live separately?

If a couple must stay apart, it should not be for more than six months or a maximum of one year. During this period, conscious and sustained efforts must be made to manage the issues that distance breeds like loneliness, non-frequent sex, and lack of emotional and physical support.

Seventy-five percent of couples living apart end up breaking up.

Fifty percent of marriages end in divorce. The outcome for couples who remain living apart fair no better or worse than couples who live together.

Those who attempt to live apart all complained of still feeling alone, craved touch and sex, and questioned if they were doing the right thing.

— 12.5 percent of all marriages go on to become companionable and affectionate, but it usually takes them about twenty years together to finish maturing emotionally to the point where they can consistently accept, tolerate, and nurture each other.

The thought be being a part-time husband might sound like a clever idea. Those who consider this option must understand that it doesn’t increase the likelihood of a better outcome as opposed to being in the same household. It’s a choice — a choice that comes with some benefits and some sacrifices and takes a good deal of consideration of all the variables involved.

For those choosing to be part-time spouses, may you have happy, fulfilling, and prosperous lives! ●

CODE M / JANUARY 2024 49

[ LIFE ]

LIVING TOGETHER MIGHT BE BETTER

E

veryone can feel the new normal of thinking about their expenses. Those who earn in the top one percent might not feel it, but for those who are middle class or lower, trying to stay afloat in this economy is getting harder and harder.

To combat inflation and housing costs, families are moving in together under the same roof.

A Generations United 2021 report on the impact of the economy called, “Family Matters: Multigenerational Living Is on the Rise and Here to Stay,” finds that the number of Americans living in a multigenerational household with three or more generations has nearly quadrupled over the past decade, with a dramatic increase of 271% from 2011 to 2021.

In 2022, 19.9% of Native Hawaiian and Pacific Islanders lived in a mul-

50 JANUARY 2024 / CODE M

With the rise in cost of everything, Americans must find new ways to keep up with the cost of inflation. Living together is one solution.

By Bolling tigenerational household, the most likely racial demographic to do so. Blacks need to consider taking on the same behavior to reduce expenses and increase education opportunities.

“We decided to bring my mother to live with us after my father passed,” John from Tulsa said. “It made sense to be able to care for her, and my kids in one location. That way, we reduce our costs of living everywhere and we can provide my mom with the kind of care she deserves without breaking the bank.”

By living together as one unit, care at home can be provided, while preserving an inheritance to pass down to future generations. Brave grandparents may also volunteer to help with childcare for any grandchildren! Religion and cultural norms are often a strong factor in fami-

[ HEALTH ]

CODE M / JANUARY 2024 51

[ LIFE ] lies living together.

With both parents now expected to work to maintain a quality of life, grandparents are stepping in to reduce the cost of daycare.

Culture also plays a key role in families coming together to live.

The quality of education suffered during the pandemic and homeschooling, and cultural teachings from generational living can bridge the gap for families where education is important.

There are difficulties with having three generations of people living under one roof. Space can become a problem and privacy for young people can be harmed.

Black mothers, who tend to live without a mate, could benefit from the added help in child rearing, financial assistance, and increased adult presence in the home.

Among mothers near the end of their childbearing years, Hispanics and Blacks have the largest families. On average, a Hispanic mother aged 40 to 44 has had about 2.6 children. By comparison, Black mothers have had about 2.5. White and Asian mothers have families that are a bit smaller, on average.

With Blacks having larger families, the impact of living together

could also be higher. Blacks also, on average, have the lowest income of all races. Living together could increase the overall household income, allowing for advanced financial decisions to be made.

Living in a multigenerational household appears to confer a financial benefit by buffering residents against poverty, according to census data. Americans living in multigenerational households are less likely to be poor than those living in other types of households. This is especially true of some economically vulnerable groups, such as unemployed people.

Living together does not just mean living generationally.

Households of all backgrounds and types are taking advantage of coming together.

“When my cousin decided to move in with me, we knew we would both benefit financially,” Rhonda from Ohio said. “We have found that our kids seem happier, the house is full of laughter, and we have bonded as a family.”

Cousins are moving in with cousins, same-sex parents are moving in with same-sex parents, and friends are moving in with friends. There are even situations where strangers are moving in with strangers.

NBA New York Knicks’ Mitchell Robinson invited his high school coach to move in with him after the coach’s wife died.

Butch Stockton shared how Robinson visited his wife, Dawn, every day when she was in the hospital and later invited his old coach to move in with him after her death in September. Robinson knew that his high school coach could use a change in scenery and a change in pace.

The two have been roommates since September and Stockton and Robinson have grown closer. Stockton said they both help each other out and the friendship has grown special.

For anyone considering moving in together, precautions should be taken before the decision is made.

Inflation is creating an opportunity for families to live together.

52 JANUARY 2024 / CODE M

[ OPINION ]

The right workout routine can add years to your life and overall happiness with yourself.

CODE M / JANUARY 2024 51

[ LIFE ] Compatibility is crucial when deciding to live together. All parties should understand the benefits and liabilities of sharing space. An agreement should be drafted to ensure that if the situation does not work out, no one is kicked out or harmed by the separation.

There is no doubt that Americans are going to have to adjust to the constant financial pressure of surviving. With Black families at the bottom of the income column, they especially should consider being extended families to reduce their financial burden and increase how many adults are in the household.

The trend for generational living will continue to increase if inflation outpaces income. That, along with the rise in housing costs, makes the option increasingly realistic.

“For us, it was the only way to see an immediate reduction in our expenses with the way things are going right now,” said Michelle from Detroit. ●

Maintaining healthy eating habits this holiday season will go a long way towards your 2024 fitness goals.

54 JANUARY 2024 / CODE M

[ HEALTH ]

CODE M / JANUARY 2024 51

[ MUSIC ]

56 JANUARY 2024 / CODE M

POLITICS

CREATING OUR FUTURE Another election cycle, yet another pivotal year for Blacks in America. It’s critical for Black men to lean into and support each other.

Written by DAVID CHRISTEL David has been ghostwriting books for well-known people since 1995. He is also the author of Married Men Coming Out: The Ultimate Guide to Becoming the Man You Were Born to Be.

CODE M / JANUARY 2024 57

[ MUSIC ]

Pete Escovedo will perform in Pittsburgh at the Highmark Blues & Heritage Festival on JANUARY 4th.

58 JANUARY 2024 / CODE M

M

[ POLITICS ] ayor Byron Brown, 5-time mayor of Buffalo, New York, is a firm believer that Black men need to develop closer relationships with each other and that will significantly and positively impact Black communities everywhere.

“If Black people want to protect the rights and privileges they have, if low-income people want to protect the rights and privileges that they have, if other people of color want to protect their rights and privileges in our country, if women want to protect their rights and privileges … voting is critical — it’s essential. And young Black men are integral to this process!”

Mayor Brown, in observing the current divisive events and movements in our country, is adamant that Black people need to be very concerned about what’s happening politically in our country — and they need to get activated and involved. He remembers working on a campaign for an elected representative who said

dous impact it’s had on creating distance, obsessiveness, and isolation among younger people. Observing them, he says about technology influences, “These are challenges that young people are faced with now that interfere with their desire to go outside and play, to do traditional academic work.”

He notes that young people have difficulty with selfdirection and curiosity about what has come before them.

From his perspective, he feels that the lack of knowledge of one’s history, both personally and as a nation, contributes to the decay of society.

Brown is finding that, unfortunately, young people are probably less connected to traditional community and nationwide organizations than they have ever been before.

He looks at some of the traditional organizations found throughout the Black community: the church, the Urban League, the NAACP, neighborhood associations — all the

“Education is critical. The learning of history is critical. We can’t let anyone stop Blacks and other people of color from learning accurate, honest, real history. We can’t have people banning books and stopping people from reading and learning.” about every election, “Vote like your life depends on it.” It seems the same is true for the 2024 election year.

“From examples we’ve seen throughout US history, and examples that we’re seeing recently, our lives do depend on us voting.

The quality of our lives, the length of our lives, the income we earn, the education we attain — it all depends on us being politically active and voting.”

Over the years working in government, as a City Council member in the New York State Senate, and as mayor, Brown has seen a lot of change in our country. Much of it has been based on people being politically active and shaping the consciousness of our country through the people they elect to office. That includes those appointed to the courts. Recently, though, he’s seeing a rollback to former times when the voting rights of Blacks were suppressed, and their civil rights were restricted.

Sadly, in tandem with those purposefully working to deny rights and privileges, Brown is seeing a significant decrease in younger people’s interest in government, and especially history. He has found that many people don’t know American history, their community’s history, or even their personal history.

In part, he points to the influence of technology and the tremen-

time-honored vehicles where people gain a sense of community. It’s through community that people find coaches and mentors, develop relationships with teachers and pastors, learn about the businesses in their area, find their first jobs, and begin to connect the dots of community life.

Education, to Brown, is critical. He believes it is the fuel for our dreams, to be able to pursue our dreams. And it’s not just to be good, but to be great, to be the best we can be to eliminate barriers to our abilities. It’s the opportunity to reach one’s God-given potential. He finds there are so many people operating in our country below their Godgiven potential. Part of that is because we no longer value the power and importance of education the way we used to. It’s also that we don’t value the people in our families, the people around us.

“Education is an unlocker of human potential,” Byron remembers his grandparents saying, and that education is the great equalizer and even though there’s a lot of discrimination in society, getting a good education truly is the equalizer — and no one can take that away from you. They also said that it can be used to build a better life for oneself and their family.

CODE M / JANUARY 2024 59

[ POLITICS ] Even though there are people in this country actively seeking to ban books, roll back civil rights, whitewash, and re-write history so that children are prevented from learning facts about their culture, history, and America, the only way to stop this movement from taking place is to be politically aware and active.

Brown reiterates: “Education is critical. The learning of history is critical. We can’t let anyone stop Blacks and other people of color from learning accurate, honest, real history. We can’t have people banning books and stopping people from reading and learning.

And we need to have a government that works for all of us. We need a Federal Government that protects people from senseless gun violence. Whether it’s urban, suburban, or rural, innocent people are being killed all across this country. Why? Because many of our elected officials put the needs of the gun industry ahead of the needs of the American people.”

Where our country stands now, poised to elect another president, there are extremist people and groups on both the left and right.

“But most Americans are centrists. We want to work together, we want to solve the big problems of our country.

But the divide is so great. We need to elect more people who are in the center, who will work together, who will pull our country back together, and who will build an American system of government that works for all of us in modern times.”

Byron wants to send the message to African Americans about how critically important education is to elevate themselves, to help elevate others, to elevate our communities, and to tap their potential. “No matter what your age, you have the potential within you to make a positive contribution to your community and this nation. But we sincerely need to invest in our young people, encourage them, and help them understand how integral they are to their families and community and beyond. Become an active member of your community — and get out there and vote!” ●

Dr. Benjamin F. Chavis Jr. is President and CEO of the National Newspaper Publishers Association (NNPA), Executive Producer of www.TheChavisChronicles.com on PBS TV Network, Executive Producer of www.TheGoodNewsRadio.com on Audacy and USBC Radion Networks

60 JANUARY 2024 / CODE M

CODE M / JANUARY 2024 59

MUSIC

THE MUSICAL DUO OF LO Five sensational singers come together to form one incredible group, in an effort to create great music for a hungry audience.

S

ince the duo began writing and recording music, Louis York, named after a combination of their respective hometowns (Harmony from East St. Louis, Kelly from New York City), has released an EP trilogy entitled “Masterpiece Theater: Act I, Act 11, Act Ill.”

The projects earned praise from publications including Billboard and the Los Angeles Times for their genre-bending sensibilities and creative aesthetic. In 2019 the pair unleashed their full-length debut, American Griots, which gained much attention with their bold, dynamic, sultry sound heard on lead singles “Don’t You Forget” and “How Will I Feel,” which reached the top 15 on the US Urban Radio chart.

The well-received album produced appearances on 3rd Hour Today, PBS NewsHour, CNN, and several other major media outlets. In a relatively short amount of time, the pair has amassed millions of cumulative streams on Spotify; given a talk as part of the esteemed TEDx Nashville program; performed sold-out shows domestically and internationally, starred in award-winning

Written by JOHN O. HORTON JR. John O. Horton Jr, aka DJ Johnny O, is the President of the NerveDJs DJ Coalition, a coalition of over 9000+ DJs, Artists, Musicians, Producers and Label & Radio reps. Johnny O has been in the entertainment business for 46 years.

feature films, and have performed at the Grand Ole Opry many times.

Now, after establishing their own creative studio and label, Weirdo Workshop, and settling into their headquarters in Franklin, Tennessee, Louis York partnered with artist and music producer Sir The Baptist to executive produce the GRAMMY Award-winning album The Urban Hymnal by the Tennessee State University Aristocrat of Bands in the Best Roots Gospel Album category, which the pair wrote, produced, and performed as a featured artist on the track “Blessings on Blessings” alongside Donald Lawrence and ChurchPpl. The pair is ready to release their sophomore effort titled Songs with Friends set to feature the likes of PJ Morton, Jessie J, Lalah Hathaway, Chris Daughtry, Anthony Hamilton, and more.

“Louis York was created when two friends became a band to make the best music of our lives. We understand the magic of collaboration and we have some of the most brilliant, eclectic friends in the world. It was time to put that collective talent on full display. Every song tells the story of who we are. When you put it all together the creative chemistry is explosive! Making songs alone is cool, but nothing is more powerful than making Songs With Friends.” ● https://stem.ffm.to/fullcirlce https://s.disco.ac/ihoekthxbykk

Louis York has been able to get over 1 million streams of their latest release.

62 JANUARY 2024 / CODE M

[ MUSIC ]

OUIS YORK The group’s latest release, Alone A Lot features Anthony Hamilton.

CODE M / JANUARY 2024 63

FASHION

BEAUTY BOSSES

AND

BILLIARDS Playing pool has always been kinda sexy. Check out our interpretation of billiards done CODE M style.

Written by LARON HARLEM

A wardrobe shopper, stylist, and accessories designer who specializes in dapper looks that truly appeal to the most discerning eye. mailto: styledbydecar-lo@gmail.com, https://www.styledbydecarlo.com/

TINA Qwner of T.L.A TALENT AGENCY FOR THE 40 AND ABOVE. Host event coordinator

64 JANUARY 2024 / CODE M

[ FASHION ]

CODE M / JANUARY 2024 65

[ FASHION ]

Tameka Coffee Owner of UNLOCKED BRIMS DESIGNED BY COFFEE. Custom Fedora hats..

UNLOCK YOUR LIFE, UNLOCK YOUR BRIM

66 JANUARY 2024 / CODE M

[ MUSIC ]

Dorian Cordice

Top by RALPH LAUREN

DJ Johnie O is the owner of Nerve DJ’s Mixtapes.

CODE M / JANUARY 2024 57

[ FASHION ]

64 JANUARY 2024 / CODE M

[ FASHION ]

Brenda Model Owner of JE THREADS and BT XPRESSIONS Wardrobe by V DINX SIGNATURE DESIGNS

CODE M / JANUARY 2024 69

[ FASHION ]

TANICQUA Owner of TWITCH DAIZE PHOTOGRAPHY Closet organizer and model Fedora hat by UNLOCKED BRIMS

70 JANUARY 2024 / CODE M

[ FASHION ]