CODE M Magazine 2023 April Issue

PROCESSED

FOODS DISEASE

TRANSFORMING THE LIVES OF MEN

DUSTY BAKER PLANS A REPEAT The 2022 World Series champion plans another run at the show in 2023.

MASCULINITY IS A BEAUTIFUL THING

LEARNING HOW TO LOSE APRIL 2023 ISSUE

[ CLE ]

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[ BUSINESS ]

[ CLE ]

22 APRIL2023 / CODE M

[ BUSINESS ]

[ NEWS ]

INSIDE

26 MASCULINITY IS A BEAUTIFUL THING The term masculine has recently come under attack by people who feel like being a man is a problem. But masculine, when used correctly, is coveted by everyone.

ON THE COVER

36

16 TAKING THE WORLD BY STORM

DUSTY BAKER PLANS A REPEAT

When Michael Djaba discovered his passion for filmmaking, he never The 2022 World Series thought it would lead to international acclaim, a chance to work with some of champion plans another run at the show the best actors in the world and a chance to live his dream. in 2023.

32 LEARNING HOW TO LOSE

12 MOVERS AND SHAKERS Get to know people who are making a difference in their careers and changing the world!

Today’s society wants everything now.

But the real way to prosper in life is to learn how to lose. Lose often, lose consistently, and lose with dignity. Only then will people begin to win.

45 BALANCING LIFE AND STRESS It is no secret that people are experiencing an increased amount of stress. For Black men, learning how to balance life and stress could be the difference for a long-lived and enriching life.

50 PROCESSED FOODS DISEASE

People who eat lots of ultra-processed foods are more likely to develop diabetes than those whose diets contain more foods found in nature.

14 MAN CODES Brotherhood.

54 SUM OF ALL CHEERS CODE M / APRIL 2023 7

[ INSIDE ]

19 CODE M CELEBRATES 10 ACHIEVERS WHO ARE MAKING A DIFFERENCE CODE M was born to showcase and highlight Black people who are making a difference for their businesses, community, and their families. We are proud to celebrate these men this month and we encourage you to do the same thing.

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Alecea Gay is the master at making all things business better. From elite planning skills to her ability to make anyone feel comfortable. She is excelling in her field and cheering everyone on at the same time.

57 FORGET WOKE. WAKE UP! The term “woke” has changed over the years. Today, it represents a term used to cancel those who dare to challenge anything. We set the record straight on the meaning of the word.

62 ISIS DAMIL FEEDS THE SOUL Isis Damil’s music saves modern day music with her soulful compilation of contemporary jazz and R&B vocals.

And just when we all thought good music was dead.

64 YELLOW CLOTHES MATTER You have to be real confident if you are going to sport bright yellow. There is nothing like color to make a fashion statement.

TRANSFORMING THE LIVES OF MEN

ENGINEER RADIO/PODCAST Imari Hill

PUBLISHER Bilal S. Akram

SOCIAL MEDIA Rachel Woods

PRESIDENT Brad J. Bowling SENIOR ADVISOR Alexandria Johnson Boone MANAGING EDITOR David Christel PAGE EDITORS Anthony Kirby-Lifestyles Laron Harlem-Fashion Paris Lampkins-Movers & Shakers GRAPHIC DESIGN Stiff Arm Media MEDIA COORDINATOR Carole Anthony EXECUTIVE ASSISTANT

To the PUBLISHER Ladonna “Lala” Dicks

ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES David Williams Kevin Jones IT CONSULTANT Anthony Jones Digital Jetstream, LLC CONTRIBUTING WRITERS David Christel Leslie Logan Brad J. Bowling Garrett Wallers Bilal S. Akram Laron Harlem Bolling Smith Chris Matthews Anthony Kirby nce Burnley CODE MEDIA GROUP LLC STAFF

DIRECTOR OF RADIO/PODCAST

Sharif Akram

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Darrell Scott

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CODE M Magazine was created to be a guiding force in creating a dialogue for black men everywhere. Code M focuses on the conversations of advancement, mental health, career choices, the political landscape and relationships that define and shape the lives of black men everywhere.

Code M Magazine is published

by CODE MEDIA GROUP, LLC © 2023 All Rights Reserved

[ TRAVEL ]

CODE M / APRIL2023 9

MOVERS &

SHAKERS

Get to know people who are making a difference in their careers and changing the world!

DANIYAL ROBINSON Daniyal Robinson was born in Rock Island, Illinois where he grew up with his mother and his brother, David. Robinson played basketball at Rock Island High School before attending Indian Hills Community College to continue his basketball career. After two years at Indian Hills, Robinson moved on to play for the Arkansas-Little Rock Trojans men's basketball team from 1996 to 1998.

Following his playing career, Robinson remained on the UA–LR staff as an administrative assistant to head coach Porter Moser. In 2003, Robin-

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son joined the coaching staff of the Illinois State Redbirds men's basketball team under Moser. Before the 2007-2008 season, Robinson returned to his alma mater, the University of Arkansas–Little Rock, as an Assistant Coach. Robinson then became an assistant coach for the Iowa State Cyclones men's basketball team starting in the 2008–2009 season. During this stint at Iowa State, Robinson was a key part in the development of three future NBA players, which includes Craig Brackins, an All-American student-athlete and the No. 21 pick in the 2010 NBA draft, Diante Garrett, and Justin Hamilton.

[ MOVERS & SHAKERS ]

IMANI DENMARK TIBBS Imani Denmark Tibbs is a third-year law student at Cleveland State University College of Law with nearly a decade of consultative experience.

Before enrolling in law school, she professionally advised and collaborated with C-Suite Executives in the entertainment, sports, and financial services industries helping them implement revenue-driving business strategies. Equipped with this professional experience and despite her full-time course load, she spent the last three years working as a legal assistant in some of Cleveland’s most notable entities: Eaton Corp, the Cleveland Cavaliers, and the Cleveland Browns.

ANTOINE D. MOSS PHD Dr. Moss is one of the country’s most sought after motivational speakers and success coaches who helps individuals achieve their dreams and advance to the next level in their lives and careers. He inspires people to overcome past failures, current obstacles, and self-defeating beliefs through positive transformation. As a result of his remarkable success, influence, and ability to lead others to personal transformation, he has been dubbed as the “Man of Inspiration.”

Dr. Moss is a nationally recognized resource in the fields of personal development, career development, and leadership. He has contributed to success and career development stories for media outlets, such as Forbes, Black Enterprise Magazine, and Fox 8 TV News. His articles and media appearances have advanced the careers and lives of over 30,000 people across the world.

TIARRAH KENT Tiarrah Kent is an educational leader who collaboratively works with school administrators, teachers, youth and community-based organizations to provide high quality education in a safe, positive, and engaging learning environment. Tiarrah’s area of expertise includes strategic planning, organizational leadership, and advocacy.

After serving over 7 years as the Dean of Student Engagement at Cleveland Metropolitan School District, Tiarrah currently works as the Director of Collaboration and Partnerships for Novaturient Industries, an educational consulting firm. Tiarrah also serves as the Vice President of Pivot Training & Development; in addition, Tiarrah is also a partner of A Better Day Academy Childcare Center.

CODE M / APRIL 2023 13

START

Omar Epps

MAN CODES:

BROTHERHOOD Compiled by Bilal S. Akram

"The beauty of genuine brotherhood and peace is more precious than diamonds or silver or gold." - Martin Luther King, Jr.

"Because brothers don’t let each other wander in the dark alone." - Jolene Perry

"Brothers don’t necessarily have to say anything to each other they can sit in a room and be together and just be completely comfortable with each other." - Leonardo DiCaprio

"Brotherhood means laying down your life for somebody, really willing to sacrifice yourself for somebody else."

- Tim Hetherington

"Brotherhood is the good deed, service to others. Brotherhood is food, shelter and raiment, yes, but it is also the word of hope, the pat on the back, the open door, the warm hearth."

- P. L. Prattis

“There is no brotherhood of man without the fatherhood of God.” – H. M. Field

"People are realizing that colour has no bearing on what’s known as brotherhood." - Omar Epps "Grant us brotherhood, not only for this day but for all our years— a brotherhood not of words but of acts and deeds." Stephen Vincent Benet

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Psalm 133: 1-3 (KJV) “1 Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity! 2 It is like the precious ointment upon the head, that ran down upon the beard, even Aaron's beard: that went down to the skirts of his garments; 3 As the dew of Hermon, and as the dew that descended upon the mountains of Zion: for there the LORD commanded the blessing, even life for evermore.”

CODE M / APRIL2023 13

[ START ]

TAKING THE WORLD

BY STORM When Michael Djaba discovered his passion for filmmaking, he never thought it would lead to international acclaim, a chance to work with some of the best actors in the world, and a chance to live his dream.

Written by ANTHONY KIRBY Anthony T. Kirby is the Lifestyle Editor for CODE M Magazine and has spent over 30 years in the menswear industry. He lives in Philadelphia, PA where he is the Creative Director for FINICKEY, an online men's haberdashery brand. (https://finickey.us)

ATL STRONG

M

ichael Djaba is a multi-hyphenate media executive with over 15 years of experience. He has not only executive produced multi-million dollar world-class programming such as the “World B-Boy Championship,” which was hosted by LL COOL J and seen in over 14 countries, but also movies such as And

16 APRIL2023 CODE M M 16 APRIL 2023 // CODE

Then There Was You starring Garcelle Beauvais, along with Northern Affair starring award-winning actress Joselyn Dumas.

Michael started out making tea at the BBC in London and worked his way up to becoming producer and di-

[ START ] rector at LWT whilst lensing sleek visuals for Grammy-winning artists Estelle & Mobb Deep. He subsequently co-founded one of the UK’s first urban TV channels on BSKYB with a staff of 90 and brokering international distribution and acquisition deals with the likes of SONY PICTURES on titles such as The Boondocks.

His international experience across production, sales, and distribution, along with his penchant for championing African stories, led to iFACTORYlive Africa being set up and becoming one of the leading producers and distributors of premium content across the continent with notable clients such as M-Net, eTV, Startimes, and Fox Networks Africa.

He has been invited to speak at international events such as the Cannes Film Festival by Babylon A European development initiative whilst his first-rate, talent-management skills have led to award-winning actress Omotola Jalade Ekeinde being named one of TIME’s 100 Most Influential in 2013. Michael graduated from Harvard Business School's prestigious Business of Entertainment, Media, and Sports program.

His repertoire includes creating and executive producing a diverse array of award-winning lifestyle programming and movies that have contributed to changing the face of African television

internationally.

At any given time, one or more of his programs can be seen in 46 countries across the African continent and 10 million homes across the UK. He executive produced and directed the US adaptation of his hit show Making of a Mogul for which the US version has Tanya Sam from The Real Housewives of Atlanta as the host. This season, the docu-reality series championed entrepreneurs of color with a collective gross annual revenue of $500 million.

He also produced the number 1 Nollywood blockbuster hit Lockdown starring Omotola Jalade (Last Flight to Abuja) and Sola Sobowale (King of Boys) currently streaming on Netflix while creating with Emerge Ghana the online TV scripted series La Maison Chiq for Pan African brand Woodin.

In 2023, Michael has a roster of projects lined up for 2023 including the Caribbean version of Making of a Mogul and an action thriller movie set in Grenada and Atlanta, to name but a few. The future looks bright for this multi-hyphenate media wonder. ●

Michael Djaba’s film, And Then There Was You, features some of Hollywood’s Black elite.

CODE M / APRIL 2023 17

16 APRIL2023 / CODE M

[ START ]

CODE M

CELEBRATES

10

ACHIEVERS

WHO ARE MAKING A

DIFFERENCE

CODE M was born to showcase and highlight Black people who are making a difference for their businesses, community, and their families.

We are proud to celebrate these men this month and we encourage you to do the same thing.

- DR. CLAUDE JONES Dr. Jones was named President and Chief Executive Officer of the Care Alliance Health Center in August of 2019. He will also serve a dual role as Chief Medical Officer.

As CEO, he will provide executive oversight and leadership to ensure the health center has a long-term strategy to achieve its mission and financial objectives. Dr. Jones’s current interests include developing strategic focus in social determinants of health and health equity, strengthening public and private partnerships, increased connection between public health and clinical medicine, and implementing an outcomes-driven approach to program policy and development. Formerly, he held the position of Senior Vice President/ Chief Medical Officer for Jessie Trice Community Health Centers in Miami.

CODE M / APRIL 2023 19

[ START ] - DAMON WILLIAMS Williams, as a young entrepreneur, owned a Subway sandwich shop in the early ‘90s. He caught the comedy bug and hasn't looked back.

Damon has worked with some of the most Iconic stars in show business, too many to mention. Damon earned the opening spot on the legendary KINGS OF COMEDY TOUR.

- RYAN RAMIREZ Ryan Ramirez is a sales leader who resides in the D.C. area. Ryan earned his bachelor’s degree from UC Berkeley & his master’s degree from George Washington. He currently sits as the Head of Partnerships for Walmart Business, which is the newly formed B2B extension of the Walmart eCommerce side of the organization. Walmart Business is designed to better serve small businesses & nonprofits and help them save time, money & hassle in purchasing the everyday items they need to continue running efficiently. Ryan is leading the efforts in partnering with organizations & associations to help amplify the visibility of Walmart Business. Ryan is also leading internal hiring initiatives to increase the Hispanic representation at the corporate level and partnering with more Hispanic-serving institutions.

Outside of Walmart, Ryan sits on the Board of Directors for the nonprofit, United Charitable, based out of Northern Virginia, that focuses on offering Fiscal Sponsorships to simplify the complex needs of nonprofit administration.

His passions include travelling the world with his lovely wife, Trishna, and spoiling his two amazing Goldendoodles, Zuko & Loki.

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He also toured the US on the ROYAL COMEDY TOUR with numerous television stand up appearances on several networks.

Damon sat in The Funny Chair on the TOM JOYNER MORNING SHOW for eight years. Most recently, Damon executive produced and hosted his own eight-episode series LAUGH TONIGHT with DAMON WILLIAMS Now streaming on UrbanflixTV. Williams is now tackling the acting field with cameos, memorable characters, and even a leading man role in the film HEAVEN ON SEVEN now streaming on Tubi and other platforms.

- HERBERT L. BELLAMY, JR. Herbert L. Bellamy, Jr. is a life-long resident of the City of Buffalo. He is currently the C.E.O. of both Bellamy Enterprises and Buffalo Black Achievers, Inc. Herb began his entrepreneurial, personal, and civic development as a young man participating in several of the family businesses.

Later, he developed into a successful insurance broker and financial planner for over 20 years. Under the umbrella of Bellamy Enterprises, he has developed several businesses, and is currently involved in managing numerous projects that are having a significant impact on Buffalo’s East Side.

Herb has been active on several boards and is the recipient of numerous professional, civic, and community organization awards.

Recently, in the November 4, 2022 edition of Buffalo Business First, Herb was ranked No. 5 in an article titled: “Power 100 Business Leaders of Color.”

[ BUSINESS ]

CODE M / APRIL2023 21

[ START ] - CHEF ERIC WELLS Chef Eric Wells is a personal chef, caterer, author, and culinary instructor. His company, Skye LaRae’s Culinary Services, began in 2004. He was the first African American graduate of The International Culinary Arts and Sciences Institute in Chesterland, Ohio in 2004.

- ROBERT E. JAMES II Robert leverages his experiences in banking, law, real estate development, and consulting to lead America’s only Black-owned multibank holding company, Carver Financial Corporation, and its operating subsidiaries, Carver State Bank in Savannah, GA and Alamerica Bank in Birmingham, AL, which was acquired in 2021. Robert, who was named to his current role with the holding company in 2021, has led the 95-year-old institution to several accomplishments over his fifteen-year tenure.

Prior to assuming his leadership role at Carver, Robert, a member of the Georgia and New York bars, was a partner at Golden Holley James LLP, documenting and closing over $25 billion in public finance transactions. Through his firm, Coastal Legacy Group, he successfully developed the Carver Commons shopping center in Savannah, bringing millions in private investment to the distressed Martin Luther King, Jr. Boulevard neighborhood. Robert served as a Managing Director & General Counsel of Diversiplex, Inc., a management-consulting firm that helped Fortune 500 companies.

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Chef Wells specializes in preparing intimate dinners for two. He prepares romantic, 6-course meals in the comfort of couples’ home. He provides everything to make the romantic evening complete: from the freshest and most flavorful ingredients to designer china, a linen tablecloth and napkins, fresh flowers, and candles. Chef Wells also uses his own restaurant quality cookware to ensure flawless food preparation.

And, he totally cleans the kitchen after the event! So, his service is like having an upscale restaurant in your dining room.

Chef Wells also teaches cooking classes. He has been a culinary instructor at Cornucopia at Bridgeport Place in the Garden Valley neighborhood of Cleveland since it opened in 2012.

- KRIS KIRKPATRICK Born in Cleveland, Ohio, Kris Kirkpatrick has been the Chief Financial Officer for The Jabali Group, LLC since 2021 and The AKA Team since 2018.

He matriculated from Howard University in Washington, D.C. in 2015 with a Bachelor of Business Administration in Finance.

Kris started his career as a finance analyst, working in New York City for J.P. Morgan Chase & Co. and Moet Hennessy USA. At J.P. Morgan Chase, he managed and produced a daily $160-180 billion balance sheet for the Global Rates division trading desk, analyzed daily variances, future trends, and provided reports to senior management to facilitate executive-level decision making. He submitted and reviewed numerous weekly, monthly, and quarterly regulatory submissions on behalf of Global Rates team pertaining to long-term debt, cash flow, offline derivative trade adjustments, and balance sheet balances. Kris created, automated, and maintained various complex financial schedules for multiple lines of business within the Global Business Management.

CODE M / APRIL2023 21

[ BUSINESS ]

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[ START ] - PHILLIP COCKRELL -

- CHRIS BROUSSARD Chris is an internationally-known sports analyst, commentator, and broadcaster for the FOX Sports 1 television network and FOX Sports Radio. He is co-host of the daily morning show, First Things First, and can also be seen regularly on FS1's Undisputed and The Herd with Colin Cowherd. Chris also co-hosts the nationally syndicated FOX Sports Radio show The Odd Couple with Rob Parker on weeknights.

Before joining FOX Sports in the Fall of 2016, Chris worked for 12 years as an NBA analyst and reporter at ESPN, ESPN The Magazine, and ESPN.com. In that role, he shared the screen with some of the NBA's legendary figures, including Magic Johnson, with whom he costarred on the KIA NBA Countdown Show. Chris' achievements led to his being named one of the 100 Black History Makers of 2012 by Thegrio.com, the African-American news arm of NBC. He wrote for The New York Times from 1998-2004, the Akron Beacon Journal from 1994-1998, and the Cleveland Plain Dealer from 1990-1994.

Affectionately known as Dr. Flapp, he assumed the role of Cleveland State University’s (CSU) inaugural vice president for campus engagement, diversity, equity, and inclusion in September 2021. Just prior to joining CSU, Dr. Flapp served as vice president for student affairs and vice provost at the University of Toledo (UToledo) from 20162021. Additionally, he serves as an adjunct graduate faculty member at UToledo and has taught at Mississippi University for Women and Jackson State University, as well as is a guest lecturer at many other colleges and universities.

A native of Columbus, Mississippi, Dr. Flapp holds a bachelor of science in family studies from Mississippi University for Women, a master of science in educational leadership/student affairs administration from Florida International University, and a doctor of philosophy in urban higher education from Jackson State University. Additionally, he has toured and studied higher education policies and practices abroad in England, Scotland, and Ireland.

- JONATHAN TYES Jonathan Tyes is a first-generation graduate of Morehouse College with a B.S. in Biology, and the MEDPREP program at the SIU School of Medicine.

He is currently a third-year medical student at the University of Louisville School of Medicine and was selected to participate in the Distinction in Medical Education honors program by medical school faculty. He is also pursuing a Master of Public Health degree in healthcare policy at Louisiana State University.

He is conducting research on factors that lead to low numbers of minorities in medicine and STEM fields.

Additionally, he is involved in research endeavors at the Stanford University Diabetes Research Center in conjunction with Stanford Pediatric Endocrinology, UofL Brown Cancer Center with the department of Otolaryngology, and the Texas Children’s Hospital in the departments of Otolaryngology and Anesthesiology.

He is the founder of Mini Med School, a program designed to expose inner city, under-represented minority students to careers in medicine.

CODE M / APRIL 2023 25

LIFE

MASCULINITY IS A BEAUTIFUL THING

Caterpillar + Sprinters Step 4

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[ LIFE ]

The term masculine has recently come under attack by people who feel like being a man is a problem.

But masculine, when used correctly, is coveted by everyone.

Written by CHRIS A. MATTHEWS Chris A. Matthews is a licensed marriage and family therapist (LMFT) and approved supervisor for the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy. Visit chrisAmatthews.com to learn more about his work with couples and families.

T

How Masculinities and Femininities Develop he Gendered Innovations Project, which is based out of Stanford University, outlines these five major points to consider when discussing femininities and masculinities, which are purposely plural and dynamic because they change with culture and with individuals.

In everyday language, femininities and masculinities do not align directly with biological sex. Depending on cultural norms, certain behaviors or practices may be generally known as “feminine” or “masculine,” regardless of whether they are adopted by men or women. Femininities and masculinities do not describe sexual orientation although, especially in Western culture, femininity directly correlates to women and masculinity affiliates with men.

Femininities and masculinities are plural — there are many forms of femininity and many forms of masculinity. What gets defined as feminine or masculine differs by region, religion, class, culture, and other social factors. How femininities and masculinities are valued differs culturally.

Any one person, rather a man or woman, engages in many forms of femininity and masculinity, which she or he adopts depending on context, the expectations of others, and life stage. For example, a man who is a stay-at-home dad may be stereotyped as feminine when assuming the primary caretaker role. Moreover, the same stay-at-home dad would be labeled masculine on the weekends when he engages in leisure activities including boxing or some form of combat sport, going to the gun range, and attending sporting events with his guy friends.

Cultural notions of “feminine” and “masculine” behavior are shaped in part by observations about what women and men do. For example, men who come from single-parent female homes may not have experienced certain nurturing behaviors performed by a father during their early stages of developCODE M / APRIL 23 27

[ LIFE ] ment. This is important because, based on John Bowlby’s attachment theory, between the ages of 3-4 years old, children begin the identification process with their same-sex parent. Femininities and masculinities are learned. Messages about “feminine” and “masculine” behaviors are embedded in advertising, media, news, educational materials, and so forth. These messages are present in a range of environments, from the home to the workplace to public spaces.

Masculinity is Not Toxic

Birthed from the mythopoetic men’s movement in the 1980s, the term “toxic masculinity” has become a buzz phrase used to describe men who exhibit violent, misogynistic, homophobic, and domineering behaviors, especially toward women or members of marginalized communities.

Based on the article titled, “What is Toxic Masculinity and Why Does it Matter,” which was published in the June 2021 issue of Men and Masculinities, “The term toxic masculinity took off as part of what some scholars have called a new feminist movement, intensifying after 2014.”

It is important to understand the phrase’s origin, which was coined by Shepherd Bliss when characterizing his father’s militarized, authoritarian masculinity. Furthermore, during a 1990 interview, Bliss said, “I use a medical term because I believe that like every sickness, toxic masculinity has an antidote.” This confirms that the term toxic masculinity was never intended to be used as a blanket description for men or masculinity itself.

What has happened is that instead of taking the time to label specific egregious behaviors that can be exhibited by both men and women, the phrase toxic masculinity is used. The problem with using this is that our society has been confused into thinking masculinity itself is toxic. On the contrary, mas-

culinity is a beautiful thing that represents some of the best traits men have to offer themselves, their families, and their communities.

Masculinity is Not Abusive Qualities like being strong, brave, ambitious, a good provider, a protector, and a leader are all positive traits that typically are associated with healthy masculinity. However, in an effort to combat intimate partner violence (IPV), which is based on data reported by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), one in three women in their lifetime will be a victim of IPV. Unfortunately, this data has prompted feminist groups to paint masculinity as an identifiable trait of an abuser, which is not true for all men who present as masculine.

The Power and Control Wheel, which was originally developed in 1984 by the Domestic Abuse Intervention Project Team out of Duluth, Minnesota lists abusive behaviors that have no business being labeled as masculine. Instead, opposite to the power and control wheel, The Equality Wheel, which has an outer ring labeled “nonviolence,” is a better representation of a healthy masculine man.

Real men exhibit nonviolent behaviors towards their women because they were taught to “never hit a female.” This is why for, masculine men, the cornerstone of being a protector and provider of safety in a healthy relationship starts with nonviolent behaviors. Furthermore, healthy masculinity expresses the behaviors that make up the eight spokes within The Equality Wheel, which are: Negotiation and Fairness – Real masculine men exhibit behaviors that entail identifying mutually rewarding solutions and outcomes for both partners.

Non-Threatening Behaviors – Real masculine men choose to exhibit responses that sustain a high level of physical and emotional safety for both partners. Examples include using a deep and controlled voice tone, allowing your partner to speak, and refraining from name-calling.

Respect – Real masculine men demonstrate respect by actively listening and responding to their partner in a non-judgmental manner that is understanding and affirming.

Trust and Support – Real masculine men support their partner by embracing their desire to have friendships outside of the intimate relationship and support their dreams, goals, and life aspirations.

Toxic masculinity is a confusing term designed to reduce men to make others feel better about themselves.

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[ HEALTH ]

CODE M / APRIL2023 27

SPORTS

28 APRIL2023 / CODE M

[ LIFE ] Honesty and Accountability – Real masculine men accept responsibility for their own actions and words while communicating with their partner in an open and truthful manner.

Responsible Parenting – Real masculine men share joint responsibilities regarding child rearing while being a nonviolent positive role model in their child’s life.

Shared Responsibility – Real masculine men come together with their partners to create a shared relationship and family vision while equally distributing workloads.

Economic Partnership – Real masculine men make joint financial decisions with their spouse that mutually benefit both partners and the family as a whole.

What Drives Masculinity Stereotypes?

Fatherlessness is the real culprit that drives the negative masculinity stereotypes, especially for Black boys. In 2020, just 41.3 percent of Black kids were growing up in a two-parent home (based on the most recent census data). When young boys don’t have healthy male examples in the home, they rely on the media to teach them how a man should behave.

The problem arises when men are afraid that they aren’t masculine enough — a phenomenon known as “precarious masculinity.” This insecurity can lead to aggressive, domineering, and risky behaviors as men try to prove their manhood. They may also shame and bully other men who don’t fit the traditional masculine mold. At the root of these behaviors is a lack of selfworth, which often emerges from childhood trauma.

Research done with male college students found that young men who had experienced childhood attachment issues with parents or other primary caregivers have higher levels of gender role strain and more difficulties with emotional expression. Men with a secure attachment style struggled less with the concepts of success, power, and competition associated with male gender norms.

men felt they should be willing to punch someone if provoked.

• About a third of the teens and 57% of men ages 18–36 felt pressured to join in when their male peers talked about females in a sexual way.

Interestingly, only about a quarter of the young men in the Pew survey described themselves as “very masculine.” It seems that young men are clear about how society thinks they should act, but they don’t believe they’re fulfilling those expectations.

Promoting Healthy Masculinity Princeton University’s UMatter Framework, which was created to support positive mental health and harm reduction initiatives across the campus, lists these tips to encourage healthy masculinity: •

Address disrespect by calling people out

•

Build safe spaces that allow men to express a wide range of emotions

•

Encourage men to demonstrate nurturing, compassion, and caring behavior toward themselves and others

•

Create openings for men to share their experiences and feelings, especially if you sense there’s a problem

•

If you see a man hurting, check in with him

•

If you’re a man, ask for help when you are struggling

These listed tips provide an outline for all communities and organizations seeking to promote healthy masculinity in all its expressions because masculinity is indeed a beautiful thing. ●

A Plan International USA survey asked teen boys aged 14–19 some of the same questions as a Pew survey of adult men. Results included the following:

•

77% of teen boys felt some or a lot of pressure to be emotionally strong, and that number went up to 86% among adult men.

•

Close to half of male adolescents and 69% of young adult

Men all around the world are reclaiming their position of masculinity.

CODE M / APRIL 2023 31

[ LIFE ]

LEARNING

HOW TO LOSE

Today’s society wants everything now.

But the real way to prosper in life is to learn how to lose. Lose often, lose consistently, and lose with dignity.

Only then will people begin to win.

By Bolling Smith

I

n this “a trophy for everyone” society, people have become accustomed to getting what they want without having to put in the effort it takes to get it. This has created the mentality that shortcuts are acceptable and hard work is to be avoided. But the truth remains that learning how to lose is the only real path to a successful career.

The concept of learning how to lose is sometimes tricky to understand. How can losing become the formula for winning? Learning how to lose is the concept of recognizing a “learning moment” when the opportunity presents itself. We rarely learn anything when we only win.

In life, the best education comes from the experience of failures, which offers the best education because we can learn what went wrong.

Why is learning to lose important? If you’re open to it, you can make space for new experiences and future opportunities. So, losing cleanly, honestly, and quickly offers you a feeling of strength, the opportunity to grow, and a sense of inner peace.

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“I noticed in sports, that good teams have to learn how to become exceptional teams. So, in football, they might get close to the Super Bowl but lose before they get there,” John from Solon said. “Then, the next year, they advance to the Super Bowl and compete at a higher level. You can tell they learned something from the loss.”

Losing creates an opportunity for inner reflection. A loss can be perceived as:

[ LIFE ]

•

Getting fired from a job

•

Ending a relationship

•

Making a bad financial decision

•

Living an unhealthy lifestyle

•

Poor decision making

All of those things are considered to be losses in the game of life

and the key is putting a loss into proper perspective. What we learn from losses is where the winning begins. There is a process to develop the mindset to win, whether you want to win in sports, career, or life. There are no shortcuts. Winning by any other measure will most likely be fleeting and temporary.

There are incredible lessons to be learned from losing.

CODE M / APRIL 2023 33

MAKE LOVE! MAKE MONEY! MAKE IT LAST!

Photos taken by Franklin Solomon.

32 APRIL2023 / CODE M

[ LIFE ] Those lessons create the mindset it takes to win and appreciate the process. It’s important to understand that winning and losing is different for everyone — and the time it takes to start winning is different as well. The overall feeling you get when you win the right way is the same for everyone.

100 percent of the shots you don’t take.” This means that if we never try, failing is the only result we’ll achieve that will have no learning attached to it. Getting in the game, winning and failing, is how we’ll begin to learn how to win in the big picture.

4 LESSONS TO LEARN FROM LOSING

Robert, who works in sales, used losing as a measure of success. “I knew that I had to get a certain amount of sales in order for me to hit my goals,” he explained. “I also knew that it took, on average 13 sales calls (13 “no’s”) in order for me to get one sale. So, I wanted to get all the no’s out of the way so I could get to a ‘yes’.”

•

Respect. For every winner, there is a loser. We need to respect both.

•

Resiliency. It’s ok to be disappointed or upset after a loss.

•

Review. If we review the why of losses and strengthen weaknesses, new opportunities will arise.

•

Humility. Losing challenges keeps us humble.

“I coached both my boys and I made sure to discuss what went wrong when they lost a game or match,” Arthur said. “I made sure that they understood and learned from the loss so they could recognize it when they started to win. It keeps the mind on the train track to success.”

Developing good habits comes when we learn from bad habits.

Creating a formula for success often comes from learning from losses.

Mistakes are opportunities for growth and expansion. Viewing life from this perspective ensures success will be achieved more quickly. Everyone makes mistakes, and learning from those mistakes is what separates those who win and ultimately succeed in life.

Robert used his experience of getting a no, which could be seen as a loss, in order to create a yes from his sales day.

This meant that he worked and plowed through the no’s until he found a yes. Understanding that it took 13 sales calls to find a yes gave him the confidence to look beyond being rejected 13 times before he was accepted.

Confidence built through adversity and ups and downs is by far one of the best results of losing.

Participation is something to cheer about for those who are playing the game. But winning in the game of life means creating the most out of any opportunity. Live with intent towards a goal. Intentional living comes with sacrifices — but opportunities — and are found in losing. So, losing as much as possible will finally get us to the finish line as a winner on our own terms. ●

“One of the biggest mistakes a lot of people make is never trying in the first place,” Kathy said. “I know people who like to wait until everything is just right before they begin, but they never get started because they never have everything they need to start.”

In sports, there’s a saying, “You miss

The opportunity to learn from your mistakes can only be done if you actively attempt to try something.

CODE M / APRIL 2023 35

COVER

36 APRIL 2023 / CODE M

[ COVER ]

DUSTY BAKER PLANS A REPEAT

The 2022 World Series champion plans another run at the show in 2023.

Written by BRAD BOWLING Brad Bowling is the President of CODE Media Group, LLC. Bowling has his BA in mass media communication and an MBA in marketing. He contributes articles to the magazine continuing his love for writing.

CODE M / APRIL 2023 37

[ COVER ]

W

hen you first meet Dusty Baker, two things are very quickly evident. First, you realize that Dusty Baker is a man with nothing to prove, and the second thing is Dusty Baker fears nothing and no one.

for his entire career. Just when he thought he was happy doing something, someone else would ask him to try something different.

“I didn’t want to play baseball, but they came and got me and asked me if I could help them win some games,” Baker said.

This might be the reason that Baker has succeeded at a very high level in everything he’s attempted. Baker’s Houston Astros won the Major League Baseball 2022 World Series. Baker is the third Black man to win the World Series. In 2023 Baker will attempt to win the big show again as the 2023 season opens in April.

Baker’s athletic ability is spread across multiple sports. Some friends thought he might be good at the game of baseball, and because Baker’s a good friend, he gave baseball a try.

Baker grew up in Riverside, California, the oldest of five children. He earned the nickname “Dusty” from his mother be-

“I can’t, and won’t deal with negative people,” Baker continued. “If you are not genuine, a hard worker, or humble, I cannot work with you.”

Baker, who has been an athlete all his life, didn’t choose baseball. Baseball chose him.

cause of his propensity for playing in a dirt spot in the backyard. Baker excelled in baseball, basketball, football, and track at Del Campo High School near Sacramento, California; and he was inducted into the Sac-Joaquin Section’s Hall of Fame class in 2010 for his playing at Del Campo. He was offered a basketball scholarship by Santa Clara University.

“I grew up playing basketball. Baseball was never my thing,” Baker said.

Baker always knew he was going to be a basketball player. He played the game his entire life and really enjoyed the game.

But something happened to Baker and continued to happen

Baker was drafted by the Atlanta Braves in the 1967 amateur draft, despite his prayers to not play in the Deep South. On June 19 of that year, the Braves tasked Hank Aaron to try to influence Baker to sign with the team, with Aaron promising to both Baker and his mother Christine that he would take care of Baker as if he was his own son while guaranteeing that Baker would be in the majors before his college class graduated.

Baker went on to play for several teams until he succeeded in making it to the majors. Once you get to know Baker, you begin to understand that his personality is just like a baseball.

Tough on the outside, woven together with an even tougher core, pressed together to be deliberate and exacting once in motion.

“Nobody wants to hear about your struggles. In life, you must earn everything that you get,” Baker said. His approach to life is his approach to the game. “Sometimes you don’t get the calls you’re looking for — you have to play the game anyway.”

He played in the MLB for 19 seasons, most notably with the Los

Dusty Baker played 19 years in major league baseball with most of that time with the Atlanta Braves.

Ro

38 APRIL 2023 / CODE M

[ COVER ]

CODE M / APRIL 2023 39

[ COVER ] Angeles Dodgers. During his Dodgers tenure, he was a twotime All-Star, won two Silver Slugger Awards and a Gold Glove Award, and became the first NLCS MVP, which he received during the 1977 National League Championship Series.

He also made three World Series appearances, winning one in 1981.

When Baker retired, he knew that he would enjoy a retirement away from the game. It was what his body and mind needed. But people had a different plan for him. And just like before with basketball, he was called to try something different.

“You never know who’s watching you. So, I try to live my life with intention,” Baker said.

He was asked to help with a couple of clinics to show young baseball players who had just entered the league a couple of things about the game. Baker agreed to help, only to give back to the game that gave so much.

Baker realized that working with young people gave him a chance to remain young. He enjoyed the time he spent with new players coming into the league and continued to work at the assistant level until people noticed that his players played better.

40 APRIL 2023 / CODE M

This led to coaching opportunities. As Baker climbed through the ranks, his teams continued to win. Baker described why his players seem to excel under him. “I can’t, and won’t deal with negative people,” Baker continued. “If you are not genuine, a hard worker, or humble, I cannot work with you.”

Baker eventually became a major league manager and developed quite an impressive track record as a manager. He is the first MLB manager to reach the playoffs and win a division title with five different teams, having accomplished both feats with each team he managed.

In addition to his 2022 championship, Baker appeared in the World Series with the Giants in 2002 and the Astros in 2021, making him the ninth manager to win pennants in both the American and National Leagues. Baker ranks ninth in MLB managerial wins and has the most wins among African American managers.

At 73, Baker makes no apologies for anything he does. He speaks frankly and honestly about any and everything. A man of his stature has nothing to prove to anyone. Yet his motivation to win has never waned. Not even after his 2022 World Series Win. “I like to win like everyone else, but I am not selling my soul for it,” Baker said.

[ COVER ]

The Jolleys are celebrating 40 years of marriage.

CODE M / APRIL2023 35

[ COVER ] Baker is thoroughly grateful for his life’s journey and the things he has accomplished. He likes to give people around him hope that their lives matter.

“I have lost as much as I have won. I understand that the goal is not to possess as many wins as possible. The goal in life is to help as many people as possible,” Baker said.

If you believe in karma, then you will understand Baker’s mentality. If you believe in Baker, then you’ll understand that how you play the game is just as important as winning the game. ●

Ron Busby

34 APRIL2023 / CODE M

[ COVER ]

The Jolleys are celebrating 40 years of marriage.

CODE M / APRIL2023 35

[ COVER ]

Ron Busby worked with President Barak Obama on increasing funding for Black businesses.

34 APRIL2023 / CODE M

BALANCING LIFE AND STRESS

It is no secret that people are experiencing an increased amount of stress. For Black men, learning how to balance life and stress could be the difference for a long-lived and enriching life.

T

he most critical relationship every man has, whether he knows it or not, is his relationship with stress. If men do not know they are in a relationship with stress, it is time for them to get to know their ‘life-mate’ better. Stress is a normal mind-body experience in reaction to everyday pressures. Every living thing experiences stress, which is entirely ordinary and necessary to survive.

Stress chemicals released by the brain wake the body in the morning, allow people to focus, and can bring about a lifeenhancing heightened sense of energy and strength that can make a difference in productivity at work and whether a person will survive a life-or-death situation.

The Jolleys are

When men begin to recognize the range of their life-mate stress, they can genuinely appreciate that it brings about changes that affect nearly every system of the body. Stress influences how a person feels and behaves daily and their

HEALTH

Written by GARRETT WALLER Garrett is the founder and owner of Garrett Waller, LLC, "A Fitness, Health, & Lifestyle Company." Garrett has his BS in Psychology and is a nationally certified personal trainer. He helps people find more freedom in their lives through a commitment to fitness and an active lifestyle. https://garrettwaller.com

longevity. While stress is necessary for boosting energy, productivity, and survival, it does not always use its powers for good. Stress can take years off of people's lives. The American Psychological Association details the dangers of unchecked stress. By causing mind-body changes, stress contributes directly to psychological and physiological disorders and diseases and affects mental and physical health, reducing the quality of life. A few examples are insomnia, migraine headaches, hypertension, and functional diarrhea.

The biggest and most effective weapon to combat stress can be summed up by one word: nourishment. Nourishment comprises essential substances such as food, movement, and nutrition, necessary for growth, health, and good condition. Certain foods have healthy essential nutrients, such as omega-3 fatty acids, B vitamins, Vitamin C, probiotics, and fiber which reduce stress. Fish, avocado, nuts, citrus fruit, and greens like spinach, kale, and broccoli are food choices that fight stress.

CODE M / APRIL 2023 45

[ COVER ]

Ron Busby worked with President Barak Obama on increasing funding for Black businesses.

34 APRIL2023 / CODE M

[ HEALTH ] The irony is that stress can be nourishing. When properly recognized, harnessed, and managed, men can enjoy the benefits it offers to them. To properly acknowledge stress, every man must become in tune with his body and breathing. The best way to do this is to move daily. Exercise is a training and practice of welcoming and overcoming beneficial stress in a controlled environment. Check in with the tension in the body through movement and exercise. Move intentionally every day to connect mentally and physically. Standing up and taking a few steps after lunch could turn into a 10 to 20-minute walk after building up to a routine.

In addition to the physical health benefits, welcoming the challenge of movement also leads men to handle stress in everyday life better. Exercise and stress exhibit many of the same physiological markers, such as increased heart rate and breathing, as well as elevated levels of hormones. Men who exercise and live an active lifestyle have more opportunities to check in with their bodies and how they feel in their skin, muscles, and bones.

Studies have shown that routine exercise over eight to twelve weeks reduces reported and measured stress levels in participants with virtually 100 percent effectiveness. Despite exercise being stressful on the nervous system in the short term, recovering from that stress causes fat-burning and muscle-building benefits. One of the positive attributes of exercise is eustress - moderate or regular psychological stress, which is interpreted as being beneficial. It improves the quality of life for the participants!

Movement is nourishment that helps us recognize, harness, and manage stress.

takes to make the time to start a 30-minute exercise or movement session. Proper clothing, shoes, nutrition, rest, productivity, time management, turning the tv or computer off, having someone watch the kids, getting in the car with a gym bag and headphones, and so on are required to make time and mental space for physical self-care. Kudos to any and every man out there getting it done! It's almost as hard as it is rewarding. Making the time and space for eustress is a mental exercise that has powerful stress-busting benefits.

Another form of nourishment that is super powerful in combating stress is nourishment's cousin, nutrition. Nutrition is providing or obtaining the food necessary for health and growth.

Often people say, “I love food too much to…,” and resist changing their nutritional habits. In response to such statements, ask: "Which foods do you love, and are they loving you back?" It's ok to love foods, but which foods? A closer examination may uncover a toxic relationship with the foods they claim to love.

Those high-fat, high-sugar foods aren't loving men back; they're holding men back. Cut them off to grow healthier! Through selflove, choose nutritious foods that nourish the body and mind, and experience life with lower stress levels.

The power of movement and exercise to decrease stress is not in the movement alone. The mindset and decision -making of a person who takes the initiative to live an active lifestyle is a mental process with valuable rewards.

Consider the number of decisions it The Jolleys are celebrating 40 years of marriage.

Stress is attributed to significant health issues for Black men in general.

CODE M / APRIL 2023 47

38 APRIL2023 / CODE M

[ HEALTH ] Salty and high-sodium foods can lead to dehydration and hypertension, negatively impacting the heart, lungs, muscles, and workouts. They can also make it harder for belly fat loss, which can negatively impact men’s body image and confidence in the mirror and social settings. All this may lead to higher stress levels in the body and the mind. Read the backs of nutrition labels. Start and end the day with water and have a glass of water 10 minutes before and after each meal.

Many men are dangerously putting their bodies to the ultimate test by continuing unhealthy eating patterns. Our bodies love equilibrium, and they strive to remain the same. Gaining and losing weight are both stressful for the body. The consensus is that gaining weight is easy because the process is pleasurable. Simply eating more food than the body needs each day or eating foods high in fat and sugar are reinforced by pleasant feelings from the brain. Unchecked pleasure in nutrition today leads to dangerous pain later and the potential to pay the ultimate price for many cardiovascular and autoimmune diseases.

access the Total Nutrition Guide. This comprehensive eBook transforms lives through education and implementation of healthy nutrition principles. Learn which nutrients to consume and when, how to prepare meals, and receive a sample meal plan, grocery list, and a supplement guide. Follow Garrett Waller on Instagram @GarrettWaller_llc for more health, fitness, lifestyle tips, tools, and motivation. ● Please see the articles and podcasts used to support the writing: https://www.apa.org/topics/stress

It's no secret that losing weight, being disciplined, making health-conscious decisions, and exercising are more associated with stress and various types of pain. Making healthy nutrition choices may sacrifice some pleasure today; however, the joy of more confidence, a better self-image, peace of mind, and a higher chance of longevity and quality of life is the ultimate prize that is well within reach for anybody. Before stress drives the mind and body into a brick wall, invest in health and longevity today and make one good nourishment decision regarding food, movement, and nutrition each day this month.

Visit www.GarrettWaller.com today to

Reducing stress can greatly impact your overall health and happiness.

CODE M / APRIL 2023 49

[ HEALTH ]

50 APRIL 2023 / CODE M

[ HEALTH ]

PROCESSED

FOODS DISEASE

People who eat lots of ultra-processed foods are more likely to develop diabetes than those whose diets contain more foods found in nature.

By Brad Bowling

I

f you like food, you’re going to hate this article. If you like being alive, you’re going to love this article. If you’re anything like the millions of Americans who get up every day, go to the gym, and put serious effort into your workout only to never lose any real weight, this article is for you.

Processed foods are the number one culprit impacting anyone who is trying to get into shape, lose weight, or fight diabetes. The problem with processed foods is that they literally are filled with salt and sugar and slowly kill the body when consumed.

And the problem with processed foods is much worse than any really realizes. Americans consume 4 to 7 servings of processed foods on a daily basis. So, what are processed foods?

Heavily processed foods often include unhealthy levels of added sugar, sodium, and fat. These ingredients make the food eaten taste better, but too much of them leads to serious health issues like obesity, heart disease, high blood pressure, and diabetes. They’re also lacking in nutritional value.

Here are some common examples of processed foods you CODE M / APRIL 2023 51

[ HEALTH ] should be wary of:

cause they can affect blood glucose control.

•

Hot dogs, sausages, bacon, and other processed meats

10 Foods to Avoid If You Have Diabetes

•

Cereal bars and granola bars

•

•

Flavored and coated nuts

Sugar-sweetened drinks. Sugary beverages are probably the worst thing diabetics can buy at the store.

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Frozen and microwave-ready meals

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Trans fats

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Microwave and ready-made popcorn

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Simple carbs (pasta, white bread, white rice)

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Instant noodles

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Yogurt with added sugar

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Store-bought breakfast cereals

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Honey and maple syrup

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Dried fruit

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Fruit juice

And that’s just the beginning. Processed foods include those that have been cooked, canned, frozen, packaged, or nutritionally altered by fortifying, preserving, or preparing them in different ways. In other words, any time we cook, bake, or prepare food, we create processed food. Canned foods are also processed. So, eating canned corn is still not a healthy choice. It’s better than eating potato chips, but it still represents some level of being processed.

Do processed foods spike insulin?

The following can cause a person’s blood sugar and insulin levels to spike: sugary drinks, such as soda, juices, and sports drinks; and processed foods and baked goods, which often contain trans fats. Also included in this list are white rice, bread, and pasta.

People who eat the most ultra-processed foods (about 22% of their diet) had a higher risk for developing diabetes compared with people who eat the least amount of ultra-processed foods (about 11% of their diet).

Other studies have shown that the high sugar content of processed foods may contribute to insulin resistance, diabetes, and high cholesterol levels. Processed products can be especially unhealthy for people living with Type 1 or Type 2 diabetes be-

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So, what can be done to avoid large amounts of processed foods and what foods should you consume for a healthier diet? For unprocessed or minimally processed foods, think: of vegetables, grains, legumes, fruits, nuts, meats, seafood, herbs, spices, garlic, eggs, and milk. Make these real, whole foods the basis of your diet.

These foods are better health choices to consume if you’d like to reduce the number of processed foods you take in. By reducing the number of times you eat processed foods, you give the body an opportunity to recover from so much salt and sugar intake.

It is recommended that you consult with a physician before beginning the process of reducing your intake of processed foods. There are potentially harmful side effects of rapidly changing your diet. Fatigue, dizziness, exhaustion, and mood swings might be experienced with sudden diet changes.

Do your research and see where you stand with processed foods. A healthier life comes with understanding your body, your decisions, and your choices. Happy eating. ●

[ LIFE ]

CODE M / APRIL2023 47

BUSINESS

Powered by the

THE SUM OF ALL CHEERS

54 APRIL2023 / CODE M

[ BUSINESS ]

Alicea Gay is the master at making all things business better. From elite planning skills to her ability to make anyone feel comfortable. She is excelling in her field and cheering everyone on at the same time.

Leslie Logan

W

hen you first meet Alicea Gay would not guess that she is a force to be reconned with. Her calm demeanor and likeable personality calms your spirit. Her quiet confidence allows you to trust her immediately. This helps Gay with her ultimate goal of helping you reach yours.

Alicea Gay has a reputation for being a multifaceted selfstarter with her knowledge in supplier diversity, project management, marketing, and management consulting.

A proud entrepreneur, Alicea is the CEO of The StartUp Shop, LLC providing licensing and certification support to minority small businesses in the Baltimore-Washington Metro Transit Area.

She brings her value to the ByBlack Platform as the Vice President of External Affairs by spearheading the certification program, stakeholder engagement, user experience and customer service, and marketing.

cessing, financial education, and best practices to pivot and scale digitally through eCommerce. My role then transitioned to helping to redefine Black-ownership and creating the foundation of ByBlack Certification.” Gay said.

Working in the small business-private sector for 6 years, Gay has developed a wide-range skillset and aptitude supporting Marketing and Outreach, Community Relations, Strategic Partnerships, Social Media Management, and Business Development. A proud graduate of Hampton University, she is fueled by her passion for social injustice, public policy, and uplifting minority communities.

Gay’s work with ByBlack has been instrumental in its overall growth and popularity among Black business owners.

“Organizationally, our goals at ByBlack are to continue to grow the members of our platform and enhance our user experience for all consumers, gain and deepen relationships with our corporate and community partners, build reciprocity and unified programming with our third-party certification agency counterparts, and seek national acceptance by the U.S. Small Business Administration,” Gay commented.

Gay knows that her role at the USBC is important and uses her platform to bring as much cheer to those she interacts with on a daily basis.

“The most important part of my job is connecting with various business owners across the nation and having conversations that hold corporations accountable to their public commitments in support as many people as possible,” Gay said. ●

“When I started with USBC, I was contracted under a grant issued by the Minority Business Development Agency (MBDA) under the CARES Act in the midst of the pandemic,” Gay continued.

“After 41% of Black businesses shuttered, I was responsible for managing a multi-million dollar grant to provide minority-owned small businesses with the knowledge, tools, and information needed for them to survive the impact of the pandemic,” Gay said.

“This included PPP and EIDL loan application and pro-

Alicea Gay and the ByBlack team.

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[ LIFE ]

48 APRIL2023 / CODE M

FORGET WOKE.

POLITICS

The term “woke” has changed over the years.

Today, it represents a term used to cancel those who dare to challenge anything.

We set the record straight on the meaning of the word.

Written by DAVID CHRISTEL David has been ghostwriting books for well-known people since 1995. He is also the author of Married Men Coming Out: The Ultimate Guide to Becoming the Man You Were Born to Be.

I

ronically, all the hubbub about being “woke” has produced a great deal of confusion rather than clarity. It appears that a lot of definitions are being thrown about, all of which are contributing to the concept of woke-ism as a catch-all to be tagged onto many of the issues facing America.

including language idioms specific to African Americans.

What was beginning to occur back then was that white Americans quickly coopted and exploited Black vernacular for their own — without the lived experience of Black people.

To help clear the air, a historical look at the concept would be helpful. Originally, it was defined as awareness of injustice and discrimination in society, especially racism. Beginning in the early 20th century, the word was used in conjunction with Black consciousness and Black activism in terms of becoming more socially and politically cognizant and motivated. It was also used to describe non-Black people who recognized racism was taking place. As allies, they were “woke” to the issues facing the Black community.

Since 2000, many groups, political and otherwise, have appropriated the term and incorporated it into their personal agendas. Black Lives Matter began emphasizing the concept in light of the unjustified abuses and shootings of Black people. Racism, its history, and the many forms it takes came clamoring to the fore at that time as Americans from all backgrounds stepped into the discourse, which has now turned into divisive arguments, litigation, legislation, and even violence.

In the early 1960s, the term began to incorporate the idea of Blacks becoming more aware of their heritage and culture,

And, of course, humans being what they are, woke-ism has now been stretched to extremes so that today, no matter CODE M / APRIL2023 57

[ POLITICS] what side you’re on, it’s being applied by every group imaginable to assert their rights, freedom, power, control, superiority, status, socio-cultural placement, and sense of reality.

In a word, woke-ism has been distorted into gibberish. It’s become subsumed into the noise of political haggling, manipulative economic rhetoric, oversensitive educational wranglings, religious pseudo-faith, and poisonous social and business psychobabble. It’s now used to brand and damn anyone who has opposing values, perspectives, or beliefs.

hood, at school, at work, and locally and nationally. It’s also used to describe anyone who has removed the blinders from their eyes about someone or a situation. People are now urged to #StayWoke about anything and everything.

That’s not a bad thing in and of itself, but so many people are now using it as a battering ram simply to get their way — dangerously enmeshing politics and religion — in order to maintain their socio-political/economic positioning and/or to shut down what they don’t want to face up to. This has brought into being

“Essentially, those who are against “wokeness” want nothing to change and don’t want their cherished values, beliefs, and status opposed. They want everything to stay within the boundaries of “the norm” they themselves have established.”

Even though the term largely remains focused on being aware of and actively attentive to important societal facts and issues, it also means in a larger context that one is “aware” of what’s going on around them in their personal life, in their neighbor-

the oppositional term: anti-woke.

The term is applied as a means to quash anyone who is considered “progressive,” which can apply to a person’s politics, desire for inclusivity and equity in all things, and even gender designation and personal pronoun usage.

Star Crunch 1

Star Crunch 2

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[ POLITICS ] The anti-woke group is driven by one thing: fear. They’re afraid our society and country are turning into a godless Sodom and Gomorrah, that we’ve lost sight of our morals and values, that the privileged class is losing ground and will be overrun by minorities, that schools are teaching children to feel ashamed and guilty because of factual American history, that our heroes from the past will be “canceled” and forgotten.

Essentially, those who are against “wokeness” want nothing to change and don’t want their cherished values, beliefs, and status opposed. They want everything to stay within the boundaries of “the norm” they themselves have established.

On the opposite side of the aisle are those who want to tear down old forms and beliefs, who are over-sensitized to the extreme about anything that remotely smells of racism, misogyny, sexism, elitism¸ exclusivity, and cultural insensitivity.

They’re willing to push to have employees and teachers fired, companies dismantled, and books re-written in order to remove a language, subjects, and even logos that they deem “offensive.”

Like any over-zealous argument based on asserting one’s be-

lief that “I’m right, you’re wrong,” both the woke and anti-woke factions blame the other for woke-ness and level at each other the exact same accusations.

The extreme positioning driving this craziness is tearing our country apart. And there doesn’t seem to be a strong, clear voice in all of it that can bring people into a more neutral, rational position. Instead, both sides have loud voices egging people on, entrenching followers ever deeper into their delusions, conspiracies, and absolutist righteousness.

What’s truly sad is that so many people are making a lot of money out of this, as well as achieving celebrity. They don’t care because their only focus is on their self-centered, self-serving, narcissistic desires. Oh, they may talk a good line and get you to believe that they believe what they’re saying, but that’s only to get people to fall for them hook, line, and sinker. They’ll say anything to maintain their fame and fortune. We’re now deeply enmeshed and embedded in the age of grifters and con men.

Right now, it feels like we’re devolving into feudal groups fighting for supremacy, power, and control while disparaging and excising anyone who doesn’t fit within proscribed parameters of acceptableness. That’s what fearful people do. They see

CODE M / APRIL2023 43

[ LIFE ]

58 APRIL2023 / CODE M

the world around them through such a small aperture that they’re unable to envision anything beyond their fears.

There must be a way out of this mess. Right now, the US is made up of innumerable camps/ tribes, each focused on their own particular needs, wants, and agendas. What’s been forgotten is what brings us together, what our commonalities are, and that we all want the same thing: peace and a life of richness and fulfillment.

One thing to consider is choosing different terminology rather than “woke” — something that would describe an upward spiral of evolvement. Perhaps “transcendence” is what is being sought, a rising above the human conditions of:

•

petrified dogma and ideology,

•

outmoded concretized systems,

•

outsized lust for power and authority,

•

enforcing one-dimensional uniformity out of fear,

•

chasing fame and fortune at any cost to self and others,

•

hoarding resources and outrageous greed simply for personal gain,

•

divisive economic/political stratification to ensure status and supremacy, and

•

egoic and self-serving agendas hellbent on control and dominance over others.

Inherent in the word transcendence is a process of unfoldment — in this case, awakening into a greater understanding of who we are and our primary purpose in life, which is: adding the highest value in all endeavors at all times for the upliftment of all humanity — unconditionally.

That’s 180 degrees from where we are today, but an about-face is needed to help us climb out of the rabbit hole we’ve descended into. Life is about transcending petty, self-centered, inflexible, and irrational behaviors steeped in fear and ignorance — and helping each other to become better versions of ourselves. Forget woke — it’s time to wake up! ●

CODE M / APRIL2023 53

MUSIC

ISIS DAMIL FEEDS THE SOUL

Fireworks is the latest release from Nicole Marie.

62 APRIL 2023 / CODE M

[ MUSIC ]

Isis Damil’s music saves modern day music with her soulful compilation of contemporary jazz and R&B vocals. And just when we all thought good music was dead.

I

sis Damil is a Detroit-bred singer and songwriter. Her fiery, mezzo vocals blend with jazzy R&B melodies to share stories of confidence, sensuality, and spirituality.

Her sultry, soulful aura is a culmination of her own development as an artist and woman and is reflected seamlessly throughout her music. Coupled with her signature bold animal-inspired style, Isis commands every stage, marking her territory with mesmerizing artistic prowess.

Inspired by artists such as Toni Braxton, Beyoncé, and Victoria Monét, Isis makes music that empowers women to un -tame and unleash their inner spirit animals, surrender to their intrinsic intuition, and define their own standards for femininity. Isis was raised by musicians and has been singing since childhood.

Written by JOHN O. HORTON JR. John O. Horton Jr, aka DJ Johnny O, is the President of the NerveDJs DJ Coalition, a coalition of over 9000+ DJs, Artists, Musicians, Producers and Label & Radio reps. Johnny O has been in the entertainment business for 46 years

African World Fest and the 50th International African Arts Festival in Brooklyn, NY. Isis has a bachelor’s degree in communications from the University of Detroit Mercy. She is also an instrumentalist and budding actress. In 2021 she was the leading actress in The True Meaning of Christmas, a musical stage play written by Christopher Laird.

Isis won 3rd place in the 2021 AMPLIFY: The Sound of Detroit competition. Occasionally, Isis performs with genre-defying funk band Mollywop!, The Black Light Collective, and 313 The LIVE Experience.

She hopes to start touring with other artists soon. In the meantime, Isis’ second album, Saturday Night, Sunday Morning, is expected to be released soon. ●

Her professional singing career kicked off in 2012, with her first performance at the legendary Baker’s Keyboard Lounge in Detroit. Isis has shared the stage with music pioneers such as Brian McKnight, J. Moss, Don Was, and Dave McMurray.

She has performed for large-scale venues and events, including The Masonic Temple, Cliff Bells, Motor City Sound Board, The Detroit Institute of Arts, Baker’s Keyboard Lounge, the Detroit Jazz Fest, and the Detroit Arts, Beats & Eats Festival. She’s also appeared at Detroit’s

Get the latest release, Real Love, by Isis Damil.

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FASHION

YELLOW CLOTHES MATTER You have to be real confident if you are going to sport bright yellow.

There is nothing like color to make a fashion statement.

Written by LARON HARLEM

A wardrobe shopper, stylist, and accessories designer who specializes in dapper looks that truly appeal to the most discerning eye. mailto: styledbydecar-lo@gmail.com, https://www.styledbydecarlo.com/

Derrick added just a touch of yellow and green to his white blazer...

Styled and Pocket square by STYLED BY DECARLO

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Big Indo’s latest release, Indopendent, is available.

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[ FASHION ]

DALE hits us with the yellow blazer with grey and yellow Ascot and Pocket square.

STYLED BY DECARLO Photography by DLYFE PHOTO

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[ FASHION ]

Justin has taken his yellow to another level.

This canary yellow ensemble is blazing hot No shirt with jewelry PHOTOGRAPHY BY DLYFE PHOTO

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[ FASHION ]

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[ FASHION ]

Bradley rocks his yellow in a sporty way.

Duffle bag by FENDI. Shirt

by AMEN TRENDS Photography by DLYFE

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