Solace and simplicity

By Deborah Allard Dion

Most of us have already tidied our closets thanks to the COVID-19 pandemic that forced us into the house and made us live in our self-created chaos 24/7.

If you haven’t de-junked the drawer in the kitchen or the scary, overflowing garage, the New Year is a great time to declutter.

But, don’t forget the mind, which can be an even messier place that no amount of disinfectant can render spic-and-span.

Christina Dobyna of the Sisters of Solace – Holistic Healing Center, 700 American Legion Highway, Westport, has offered guidance in the area of decluttering, both the physical and the mental, for 2021.

“There’s just stuff – always so much stuff,” said Dobyna, who runs the center along with her sister Dora Kirby. “This year, it’s emotional clutter."

“I’d rather see somebody who has a clear head than a clean house,” Dobyna said. Dobyna, a Reiki master/teacher, angel therapy healer, card reader, author, and motivational speaker, has spent the last 15 years offering guidance, meditations, and spiritual healing. The sisters also run the shop and offer massage, reflexology and a host of other services.

When dealing with clutter, there’s a difference between the physical and emotional.

Physical clutter is what we see in our surroundings, Dobyna explained, but it “depletes our energy” and can exacerbate emotional clutter. It can make our energy “feel off.”

She said we often have an attachment to things that we feel we must keep because they remind us of a certain time in our lives. But, sometimes hanging onto things whether clothing or mementos from high school or loved ones has the opposite effect. “It sits on you like heavy energy.”

Cleaning up and cleaning out can lift that feeling and make you feel energized. “It’s time to purge – let go of what no longer suits you.”

Mental and emotional clutter can wreak havoc in one’s life, even more than household clutter

She recalled cleaning out her parents’ house after they passed on and keeping only significant items, rather than containers filled with “stuff.”

“They’re here. They’re in my heart,” Dobyna said. “They’re in my memories.” Clutter, she said, “is not useful. Let go. It’s not easy. It’s a process.”

Having too much clutter in the home can create an energy that leads to anxious feelings. “Notice how you feel when your house is tidy,” she said.

Mental and emotional clutter can wreak havoc in one’s life, even more than household clutter. It’s the stuff that makes us feel anxious, tired, negative, upset, and can decrease our productivity and quality of life.

But, there are ways to clear that clutter that are akin to sweeping the dirt into the dust pan.

ONE: Manifest what you need in life

Stop doubting yourself. Tell the universe what you need and want and take steps to achieve your goals. Some may create a vision board that outlines their goals, or meditate to focus in on what exactly they want. It can be the first step in believing and working toward those goals. “Decide what you need, spell it out, and manifest it. Trust and believe that it will be out there,” Dobyna said.”

TWO: Write it down

Dobyna suggests daily journaling as a way to manifest what you need in your future “Journal it, say it, think it.” She said a journal can help create a place to write about your day and what went well or poorly, your goals, intentions, worries and frustrations, and anything else that comes to mind. It needn’t be pages and pages of feelings, just a few paragraphs each day. “Get it out, whatever you’re feeling,”

Dobyna said. “Write it down and get it out.” Journaling can help bring things to light and heal the mind. “Sometimes things run deep. Eventually you’re going to get to the core.”

THREE: Push the positivity through your own intentions

When you know you must visit a place that causes you to feel anxious, such as work or elsewhere. Dobyna suggests picturing baby pink roses streaming down in that place, which gives it “so much positive energy.” When having to deal with someone who is negative, she said to write down the person’s name on a small piece of paper and put it inside a baggie with some sugar. Doing these things may just help you feel more positive about those places and people and help you realize you create your own good or bad attitude. And, a little positive energy sent out into the universe can only help a situation.

FOUR: Focus

“Know when enough is enough.” Multi-tasking means that no one task is getting your full attention. Working on a single task at one time increases focus and productivity. And it can keep the mind clear and calm.

FIVE: Rest

“Take a break, it’s okay.” Dobyna said to create a schedule to stagger tasks, rather than try to complete too many tasks over too short a period

SIX: Connect with nature

Even a few minutes standing outside can change the way we feel about ourselves or a situation. Just breathing in some fresh air and getting away from the staleness of the house or noise of the workplace can help change perspective. “Spend more time outside,” Dobyna

SEVEN: Eat the cake

“Indulge yourself with what makes you happy.” Whether that be a spa day, a nap, reading a book, or eating a big piece of chocolate cake, a little self-care goes a long way. “We always hold back on what makes us happy,” Dobyna said. “We really need to do more of that.”

EIGHT: Mind your own business

“Stop meddling in other peoples’ lives,” she said. “It brings their burden to your shoulders.” Oftentimes, the advice isn’t wanted anyway. “You have to learn to separate from other people’s stuff.”

NINE: No, just no

“You have to learn how to say ‘no.’” Continuously doing things we don’t want to do can cause anxiety and steer us away from things that are more productive and pleasant.

TEN: Change your mind set for 2021

“One day at a time, one thing at a time, one thought at a time. Start decluttering now to focus on goals for the New Year.” To learn more about Sisters of Solace, visit sistersofsolace.net, or visit in person each Tuesday to Saturday from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. Hours may vary during the pandemic, so call first at 508-636-4668 or email sistersofsolace@yahoo.com for information or an appointment.

Deborah Allard Dion is a native of Fall River and a graduate of B.M.C. Durfee High School, Bristol Community College, and Bryant University. She is a Realtor at Keller Williams South Watuppa, a writer, and an animal lover. Connect at DDion@KW.com or on social media.