When It Doesn’t Feel So Sunny

By Alvin Harmon

Summer is a time typically associated with joy, relaxation, and outdoor activities. However, for those experiencing grief, the contrast between the vibrant season and their inner sadness can feel even more pronounced. Grieving during the summer presents its own set of challenges, such as struggling to find solace while surrounded by people seemingly basking in happiness. Understanding these unique challenges can help you navigate grief.

Grief is a complex and individual experience and it is crucial to recognize and accept the wide range of emotions that come with it. You might have moments when you feel anger, sadness, guilt, or confusion. Recognizing these feelings is an important step towards healing. Understand that it is okay to experience grief during a time when others may not understand the depth of your emotions.

Grief is not a linear process, and it can manifest in various ways. It is important to recognize that grief can be unpredictable, with ups and downs that may surprise you. Some days you may feel more resilient, while others may be more challenging. Understanding the complication of grief can help you handle the emotional rollercoaster and give yourself permission to grieve in your own way.

Summer is often filled with traditions and celebrations, and it can be overwhelming to participate in them while grieving. Consider modifying or reinventing these events to suit your current emotional needs.

Set boundaries. It is essential to communicate your needs and boundaries with your family and friends during the summer. Let them know that you might need some time alone or that certain events may be difficult for you to attend. When overrun with invitations, it is okay to say no, if you don’t feel up to it. By openly expressing your emotions and needs, your loved ones can offer support and understanding.

Seek solace in activities that bring you comfort and peace. While it's natural to mourn the absence of loved ones during the summer, it's also important to celebrate their lives and find hope. Take time to cherish the happy memories, share stories of their impact, find joy in the moments you shared together, surround yourself with loved ones who can provide support, laughter, and a sense of camaraderie, and attend memorial gatherings to honor your loved ones.

It is essential to communicate your needs and boundaries with your family and friends during the summer.

Find new ways to honor and remember your loved one. One way to cope with summer grief is by creating meaningful rituals and memorials to honor your loved ones. This could involve lighting a candle in their memory, planting a tree or flowers in their honor, writing a heartfelt letter, or organizing a small gathering with close friends and family to share stories and memories. These gestures can help keep their memory alive and provide a sense of connection and closure.

By focusing on the love and connection that remains, you can find solace and hope in the midst of grief.

Each person's journey through grief is personal and there is no right or wrong way to cope. While summer grief may present its own unique set of challenges, it is important to remember that healing is possible. By understanding the impact of summer grief, recognizing and validating our emotions, seeking support, and practicing self-care, we can navigate this season with resilience and grace. Alvin

For more information, please contact Alvin Harmon, Director of Spiritual, Bereavement, and Supportive Services at aharmon@coastalhospice.org or by phone: 410-742-8732 ext. 440