COACH - The Professional Coaching Magazine

SEPTEMBER 2019 ISSUE TWO

EDUCATE I EMPOWER I INSPIRE

MAGAZINE

CHANGE YOUR KNOWLEDGE INTO ACTION WITH KAREN KISSANE

What is a

MODERN MAN? FIDEL BEAUHILL ON INSPIRING POSITIVE MASCULINITY

HOW TO RECOGNISE TOXIC SITUATIONS with John Kenny

LET’S TALK MONEY DISCOVER YOUR MONEY TYPE

Coaching insights for you, your life & your business

EDITOR’S LETTER Welcome to Issue 2

The response to COACH has been so positive and I’m delighted to have connected with so many incredible coaches in the industry as well as many readers.

Coaching is not only my business but my passion and it’s my mission as Editor of COACH to bring the best professional coaches together to showcase the huge value and difference coaching can make to your life and business.

Collaboration and connection are two of my values and COACH stands for these, too.

Collaborating with professionals in the business and personal development world, Please get in supporting coaching (in a currently touch if you would unregulated industry) and connecting with inspirational people from all walks like to feature, of life. contribute or list in The Directory.

COACH is created to add value, to empower, educate and inspire you and for this issue, the theme is connection.

Connecting with what YOU need in order to build your business, overcome challenges, improve your relationships, manage your money, increase your energy, address your health, strengthen your mindset and stay connected with yourself along the journey…

COACH IS ON:

Our cover Coach is Fidel Beauhill. A Life and Relationship Coach, he helps men through difficult times with a focus on embracing their positive masculinity.

Motivational Speaker and Business Coach, Ian Dickson looks at motivational drivers and goals and Wellness coach, Kirsty Kianifard, shares how to to master your energy and strategy for success.

NLP Master Coach and coach trainer, Steve Payne, explains how to supercharge your coaching skillset using NLP and Business Coach, Chanelle Segerius-Bruce, shares her expertise in building a powerful online brand.

Other articles include debunking the myths of therapy, toxic relationships, beating Imposter Syndrome, discovering your money type and how mindfulness helps improve focus and beat stress.

I would love us all to share and learn from each other to create a positive Coaching network and community.

Join us in the FB group - COACH, The Community and let’s connect!

Teresa x

FIND US - LIKE US, FOLLOW US AND BE A PART OF THE MOVEMENT!

Teresa Brooks is founder and Editor of COACH Magazine, a Certified Coach & NLP Practitioner, MHFA (England) and Award-Winning Businesswoman. She coaches entrepreneurs to grow their business with a focus on confidence, communication and sales. teresabrookscoaching.com

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A LOOK INSIDE Editor’s

LE T TER

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WHAT IS A MODERN MAN?

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CREATING A POWERFUL PERSONAL BRAND

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BURN OUT - IT’S A REAL THING

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CHALLENGING YOUR INNER CRITIC

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MINDSET & MOTIVATION

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DEBUNKING THE FEAR OF THERAPY

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WHO DO I NEED TO BE?

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TURNING KNOWLEDGE INTO BEHAVIOURS

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MONEY, MONEY, MONEY...

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DO YOU EVER FEEL LIKE A FRAUD?

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THE POWER OF COMMUNICATION IN COACHING

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YOUR BODY & YOUR BUSINESS

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THE ILLUSION OF YOUR THINKING

FREEDOM FROM TRAUMA

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ALL STRATEGY AND NO SOUL?

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COACH ON THE COUCH WITH JOHN KENNY

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BALANCE YOUR LIFE, BOOST YOUR ENERGY

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DANCING WITH PURPOSE

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THE POWER OF THE PODCAST

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RECOMMENDED READS & PODCASTS

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THE DIRECTORY

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Disclaimer@2019 BrooksMedia & TeresaBrooksCoaching. All adverts and articles are printed in good faith and are correct at time of publishing. Whilst every effort is made to ensure the reliability and accuracy of the material, no responsibility is accepted for errors or omissions. No part of this publication may be reproduced or copied without the written consent and permission of the publisher.

Cover photo: Fidel Beauhill

Photographer: Jenny Stewart

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DESIGNER: MARK HENDERSON REDCRABCREATIVE.COM

WHAT IS A M

Fidel is a Life and Relationship coach, an NLP Master Coach, Master Hypnotherapist and Master Timeline Practitioner.

He specialises in working with men who have been through divorce, breakups or mid-life crisis and empowers clients to understand their masculine and feminine energies.

He’s a Father to three daughters, a competitive boxer and a qualified fitness trainer. modernman.org.uk

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ODERN MAN? Inspiring Positive Masculinity.

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hree years ago, I was driving home one evening after seeing a client. My chest started to tighten. It got worse and worse. By the time I got home I thought I was going to die.

I managed to get out of my car and into the house but collapsed on the floor.

When speaking with many men, I found a real distaste for the word masculinity and almost a fear to be described as masculine or male. Insisting that we are all the same and that they don’t see any difference between men and women.

At our highest level of connection, we are all humans but to ignore our gender is, I believe, detrimental to our confidence and ability to truly love and except ourselves.

Countless men’s groups, forums and movements online and offline - fitness, relationships, business, wellbeing, mental health, but there was still space for something different…

What about the man who want to reconnect with the masculine but also be able to benefit from balanced energies? What about the man who wants to grow, to deepen his relationships, to be more honest but at the same time find a way to manage his challenging times?

There was space for something different.

My wife, at the time, called the ambulance. My daughters were worried. It made no sense. I was really fit and healthy, I was boxing competitively at the time and recently won a fight - yet here I was having a heart attack?

Or so I thought. Turned out to be a panic attack.

You see I was suffering from a huge amount of stress from running that business. Stuff I didn’t want to tell anyone about. Financial difficulties mainly. I kept it to myself because that’s what men do. Right?

I accepted I needed help

That’s when I discovered hypnotherapy. It changed my life. In addition to helping me with the presenting problem I took to my therapist, it also opened the neural pathways between my conscious and unconscious minds. It felt like taking my brain to the gym.

So, I decided I wanted to learn more and studied it.

I became a Master Hypnosis Practitioner and Master NLP Coach.

As a coach, I work with men who have been through divorce, break ups, bereavement or who are having a “mid-life crisis.” These events can lead to the type of negative behaviours that create poor mental health.

Drinking, smoking, drug consumption, isolation, sleeping around or even just staying up all night on the PlayStation.

I help them reconnect with their values, what’s most important to them, create a new long-term vision then plan the goals and create the habits they will need to get them there.

“Once you connect to your unconscious mind you become acutely aware of yourself, your truth and the things that make you happy. You also become less tolerant of the things that do not.”

How did I get here?

Quite often men get to midlife and wonder how they got there. We spend so much time in our conscious minds, paying bills, feeding kids, getting our work done etc that we neglect our inner selves.

This can result in self destructive behaviours, such as affairs or other forms of risk taking in order to create challenge and excitement in our lives again.

My coaching programs and The Club are designed to help move through these times in a more controlled and positive way.

I had achieved the life goals of wife, kids, house, cars, dog etc but didn’t know where to go from there. I questioned where those goals came from because they didn’t really feel like mine.

I began to learn the art of coaching by asking myself some tough questions. The one that gave birth to The Modern Man concept was “What do I have to offer the world?”

Why? When I looked around me, I saw so many guys not really understanding what being a man means in today’s world. Lacking in confidence. Confused. Not fulfilling their potential. Not understanding how modern women want to be treated. Worst of all, not being able to communicate these feelings or having a space in which to do so.

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CREATING A POWERFUL PERSONAL BRAND IN YOUR ONLINE BUSINESS CHANELLE SEGERIUS-BRUCE is an online entrepreneur who lives in South Africa and runs a very successful coaching business. She understands the true POWER OF BRANDING and shares here how to really build your brand in a busy and demanding online space.

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he ongoing priority to remember (even though it sounds obvious!) is the fact that in the online world, your prospective clients aren’t meeting you in person so it’s imperative your personal branding is strong enough for them to feel connected to you and feel they know you without meeting you.

In a hyper-connected world, we’re more distracted than ever before.

Think about it, when’s the last time somebody really listened to you? If you can hold space for people, make them feel heard and understood, genuinely, then you’ll create long-lasting relationships that will turn into people wanting to work with you when you put out an offer.

We all do business with people we know, like and trust and the best way to create that connection is to show up on video.

It’s the closest thing to speaking in-person.

Live streaming shows your personality, gives value and pulls back the curtain on your life and business to reveal the real ‘you’ behind the business.

Remember that people love a behind-thescenes peek..that’s why reality shows are so popular!

“Step up and be the person you envision yourself as a year from now”

So it’s not all about glossy branding pictures (which, as a professional photographer, I love by the way!) but about balance and real-life too.

Your aim is to be the brand that attracts who you want to work with, so show up as you. Don’t pretend to be somebody else or copy what others do but step into that next-level and embody the kind of business-owner you want to be with the personal brand you aspire to.

Your personal branding is what will attract new clients to you, help people to like and trust you in order to sell you and your services- it’s how you’ll stand out and be memorable.

Step up and be the person you envision yourself as a year from now.

“Share your quirks, your likes and dislikes because people will remember these things. When I shared that I gave up coffee for 6-months to tackle anxious feelings I was having and how much it helped, people remembered it for ages!”

If you think your life is “too boring for Instagram” then maybe it’s time to design your days, weeks and months a little more creatively!

Learn to see the beauty in the everyday. Document what you do and take people on a journey of your personal growth, business growth - throw in a few fun lifestyle pieces too.

What can you share that may seem insignificant to you but will actually stick in the minds of your followers?

More than ever people are craving human connection.

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Chanelle’s background is in the design departments of top international advertising agencies including Versace, D&G and Vogue, as well as for worldfamous photographer, Mario Testino. Her global wedding photography business ran in the UK for 10 years. She was highly published and also commissioned

by You & Your Wedding Magazine.

Having worked in the Caribbean for 2 years, Chanelle launched a social media marketing company and trained as a coach, moved back to South Africa in 2015 and built a 6-figure coaching business with an enviable lifestyle.

She coaches women across the globe to create entrepreneurial, freedom-based, business lifestyles. segeriusbrucecoaching.com

You can’t flick a switch and be a different person in your everyday life vs. your business persona. There’s no point either - there’s no hiding online! People will see straight through it.

Living on Brand If you’re all about freedom and creating a business that affords you more time off that you had in your 9-5, ask yourself are you really living it?

Are you doing what you set out to do in the first place?

Do you live on brand? What are your core values that you believe in and want to live by? Where are you not doing it and how can you improve?

Do this without judgment of yourself - or others for that matter. Nobody is perfect but examine what you do for the majority of the time and make sure it’s in alignment with what you stand for as a brand and as a person.

Build a brand, leave a legacy Your personal brand is what people say about you when you’re not in the room. It goes far beyond a logo and pretty colours.

So to stay in people’s minds, show up consistently, tell your story and demonstrate how you can help. Guide, teach, share and inspire through your content (writing, images and video) Get people emotionally involved in who you are and what you stand for and what you care about in this world.

Are you being genuine?

The word authenticity is banded about a lot these days. Think about how genuine you’re being with your communication, interactions?

That’s the power of your brand.

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Michelle Yeoman is an accredited executive Coach and former HR Director, with a 20-year career in global corporates, professional services, consulting engineering and pharmaceutical industries. She runs MY Coaching and Consulting Limited, offering coaching programmes, workshops, retreats and HR consultancy. She cares passionately about leaders achieving their potential and creating their ‘best self.’ mycoachconsult.com

BURNOUT - IT’S A REAL THING Be aware of the signs and how to prevent it

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ith Burnout now classified by the WHO as an ‘occupational phenomenon’, it’s crucial that people pay attention to their stress levels and seek to make changes at the first signs of negative effects.

everything I do in my life and business aligns with my values, self-care and burnout prevention.”

High achievers with a need to progress, who are reluctant to delegate or have perfectionist tendencies are most vulnerable to burnout.

But anyone who runs at a high speed for a long time is at risk - in any walk of life. Trying to stay on top of everything and presenting a façade depletes energy levels and the ability to cope and only perpetuates the problem with devastating consequences.

Pushing through overwhelm and exhaustion is not the answer. The answer lies in taking time to stop, reflect and change direction.

When you’re under pressure or in the depths of burnout, talking, exploring and coaching might feel like the last thing you want to do but taking positive steps to cut through it and find your clearest thinking can be the best way forward.

You can find solutions to the pressures and challenges you’re facing. You can rebuild your confidence and rediscover that inner drive. You can identify your true purpose and what you really want from life.

Burnout can leave you feeling isolated and detached so it’s important to consider your ‘whole’ life during this time to ensure recovery and promote prevention.

Changing direction can take many roads but the important thing is to identify what’s best for you to recover from burnout, feel healthy and well, live purposefully and feel fulfilled again.

Not knowing the signs, or ignoring them, can lead to huge impacts on your health and wellbeing, performance and productivity, and relationships.

After 20 years in HR and now running my “Even if you own business, I’ve experienced the impacts of burnout. approach your responsibilities At first it was brain fog and big dips in energy. I couldn’t get past 2.30pm with a positive without needing to rest and was struggling attitude, burnout to make the simplest of decisions. can get you” I felt disconnected, was increasingly withdrawn, fraught, tearful and anxious. My motivation waned and my confidence plummeted.

In the 12 months prior, I’d led an organisational change programme, trained to become an accredited coach, taken redundancy, moved, set up my business, launched a retreat and was doing major home renovation work.

I didn’t see it coming, I approached it all positively and thought I was coping well, but my body and mind thought otherwise.

People often think of burnout as being so mentally and physically exhausting that they can’t get out of bed and are completely debilitated. This isn’t always the case. I still took my children to school and just about kept up with my work.

But I felt like stress had poisoned my body. Eventually I succumbed to taking a break.

I had to take a step back, to reassess my values and purpose; enabling me to make real changes. I now ensure

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CHALLENGING YOUR INNER CRITIC

Beth Hope is an Accredited Executive Confidence Coach.

She also coaches in developing mindset and is MBTI Trained.

She helps people to build confidence to improve resilience, balance, find fulfillment and to make fundamental behavioural changes in their lives. andhope.co.uk

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hat inner critic inside our head. Ugh. So loud. So negative. Tearing us down so easily. Making us feel unworthy, not good enough, making us stew over the tiniest mistakes.

What do they look like? What tone of voice do they use?

Once you have them firmly in your mind, close your eyes, take a few deep breaths, then visualise sending them out of the room and then closing the door behind them.

Next look back at your key themes of the criticisms.

Write down the theme of what they said eg “Your work is never good enough” ‘Our inner Then mark out two columns below: one to critic can prove and one to disprove the statement. be our own Fill both columns with factual evidence constructive e.g. “I got a rating of Very Good in my criticism last review” needed to grow.

Really challenge that statement. Then Listen to it, looking at both columns, take the challenge it, evidence into account, and rebalance and change it’. reframe the statement positively

The worst part? We accept that voice as truth.

How often have you let it be destructive to your confidence, your decisions, your work? How often have you heard that voice - and challenged it?

‘Our inner critic can be our own constructive criticism needed to grow and prove what we can achieve when we face ourselves and rework our mindset. Listen to it, challenge it, change it’.

How to positively tune in to it Step one - listen to your inner critic. Being aware of anything is the first step to changing it.

“Although I sometimes feel like my work is not perfect, it is well received and I will notice the great feedback I get”

Write down some of these criticisms and thoughts.

What’s it saying? What does it want you to do? What key themes are there?

Do this every time your inner critic creeps in and eventually, it will be quieter.

Step two - visualise your inner critic. What’s their name?

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“As a Business Coach I have never coached a business!

I coach the people who own and run a business.”

MINDSET & MOTIVATION

DRIVING YOU AND YOUR BUSINESS

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usiness coaching will always involve business solutions and advice, but the real process always begins with the motivation and mindset of the business owner.

individual to discover for themselves what they are doing, or not doing, to themselves and to change it.

This is often achieved by changing some limiting beliefs and by creating some new, exciting and fresh external motivations.

Trying to get anyone to absorb knowledge and take action without the required mindset is pointless.

Motivation and Desire

The WE-OF-ME It all starts with having the right mindset, being motivated in the right way and believing in yourself. This is the key to success in both business and life.

Many people know exactly what they need to do, but simply aren’t doing it. Their subconscious mind and “inner-self” continues to get in their way.

What are the inner triggers and drivers that motivate us to do things that previously we haven’t wanted to do?

A big part of achieving our goals is to appreciate and recognise just how important it is for us to enjoy, embrace and be motivated by the actual process and the journey towards our goals, not just the attraction of the reward or goal itself.

If the activity required to get there isn’t very attractive or enjoyable, it is highly unlikely we will make it, irrespective of the prize that ultimately awaits us!

I call this the “WE-OF-ME” Reaching and understanding this powerful “subconscious saboteur’ helps the business owner or

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This is why many goals fail to be reached – it’s simply not an enjoyable journey. No business owner objects to hard work but the motivation factor can’t last if it’s all tough going.

Discovering the desirability factor of the tasks required to achieve your big goals, how interested and motivated you are to undertake the activity-based goals to get to the outcome-based goal they desire, is where the difference lies. This measured factor can then convert into a logical number…

“On a scale of 1-10, just how desirable is telemarketing to you in order to get more business and achieve your revenue goal for this year?”

With a clearly recognised and acknowledged low desirability number, you can then set about finding a way to motivate, incentivise or even change the action-based goals that are required for you reach your BIG GOALS.

Reward and Consequence People are generally motivated towards desires and away from fears; often referred to as ‘carrot and stick.’

The key is to understand how they are best motivated for the task in hand to reach the ‘carrot’

“Is this something that excites you enough to want to celebrate when you get there or is this something best served by reminding you of the implications of not achieving the outcome?”

Reward or consequence? Neither is right or wrong just helps to identify very best motivational tools for the person.

A great question to ask yourself when you are struggling to get excited or motivated about a particular goal is – ‘Am I feeling an away from or ‘towards’ type motivation?

A powerful formula for change - D x V +F > R

Dissatisfaction times the vision plus “Start by looking the first steps must be greater than at the levels of the resistance. dissatisfaction you are Let’s break this down. experiencing versus You are dissatisfied with where the resistance/ lack of you are. You have a clear internal motivation. vision of what you want.

This is usually where Let’s assume you know how the challenge lies; to get started and that you can and the magic undertake the first steps, but you still happens.” appear to have resistance around it.

Either you are not dissatisfied enough, or you have fears or a general lack of motivation in the form of resistance.

By raising the levels of dissatisfaction or by removing/ reducing the resistance, you can begin the change process. The most powerful way to unlock full potential is to access your ‘other” self in order to help you get out of your own way.

Once you can identify and lock away your internal saboteurs, you really can achieve your goals, aspirations and dreams through your very own drive, determination and motivation and continue to achieve way into the future.

Ian Dickson is an International Motivational Business Speaker, consultant and multi-award winning Business Performance Coach. His keynote speeches have been delivered across the UK and Ireland as well as Dubai, Cape Town, Bangkok, Kuala Lumpur, San Diego, Munich, New York and Los Angeles.

He speaks annually at The Business Show – Excel London (UK), Europe’s biggest business event and was the first ever civilian speaker and coach in the world’s most prestigious and renowned Royal Military Academy Sandhurst (RMAS) Iandickson.co.uk

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DEBUNKING THE FEAR OF THERAPY

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ur sense of self starts the moment we are born and provides a backdrop for how we approach our life and events along the way can either nurture selfesteem or damage it. When self-esteem is damaged, you can experience symptoms of stress, anxiety, panic attacks, disordered thinking, depression or unhealthy behaviours such as OCD or self -harm.

There is a common myth and fear around therapy which prevents people from seeking support when they need to. This is usually that once therapists have ‘got you’ in the chair, you will spend all your time crying and in distress.

Add to this fear a stern looking therapist with a clipboard sitting aside from you in judgement, secretly shocked and taking copious notes whilst you go into all the awful things that have happened.

Add to this the possibility that you may never have spoken about your feelings before and the fear is increasing…

When I first explored the concept of therapy for myself, I had no idea what to expect and the thought of sharing what was going on (especially as I wasn’t even clear what that was) filled me with a huge anxiety. (If this is one of the symptoms you are experiencing, this doesn’t help!)

your healing will always be the ability to build trust - and I find it always helps to have a cuppa on offer!

All sessions are done at your pace with the first one simply allowing you space to sit, to ask questions while collecting some background information.

When you start talking, it’s a crucial. You only talk about what you feel comfortable with and your therapist helps you to become curious so you can start exploring your thoughts, feelings, emotions and reactions.

My style is a mixture of traditional talk therapy and mindfulness-based practise which means I take you back through your timelines of life events. You learn to focus your busy thoughts on simply breathing – this encourages you to relax – you learn you can choose what you think and how you feel, and when you feel safe and present you can start to explore what has happened to you in the past without the fear of the emotions you experienced at the time becoming too painful or overwhelming.

To make real permanent change to you holistically, you need to address past events which cause present challenges– leading you to a fulfilled life.

Many therapists now use positive psychology and are future-focused. It is crucial to not only listen but to be a voice who questions and helps you see things from a different perspective. allowing you to release negative thinking.

It often gets emotional, that’s true but tears and release of emotions are part of the healing process. There is an incredible difference in feeling overwhelmed and lost in your emotion to being able to express yourself emotionally whilst being supported by your therapist.

It can be scary stepping on that bridge to recovery but if a part of you has already decided the other side could be better and you are finding it hard to cope, then it is time to make that step.

Remember, recovery is always possible.

The Therapists’ Couch The truth is, there is rarely, if ever, a couch on which you lie and stare at a high white ceiling! Many therapists offer warm, open, welcoming rooms with chairs placed to encourage two-way dialogue. The biggest impact on

Ali Moore is an accredited and awardwinning Therapist and Coach specialising in the science of self-esteem and self-worth.

She is the founder of the Reconnection Programme, Author of bestselling book Reconnect Your Life and Creator of Find Your Roar, one of the leading confidence workshops for women. An advanced member of the International Association for evidence-based Psychotherapists, Ali studies with the British Psychological Society in Clinical and Forensic Psychology and is a well-respected speaker in her field.

bemoore.uk

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WHO DO I NEED TO BE, TO DO WHAT I NEED TO DO?

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esearch from Harvard shows we operate on autopilot almost 50% of the time, meaning we can become over reliant on our habitual core strengths, using the same ‘tools’ all the time.

Choosing more appropriate strengths to use can feel uncomfortable and clunky at first. If you haven’t used this strength for some time, it can feel least ‘like you’ and you may be fearful of it if you’ve experienced it being ‘overdone’ by someone else or you haven’t used it before.

The challenge lies in understanding that a shift of strengths is required.

We rarely challenge how we do things until we hit a block.

Then, we may tell ourselves it’s because we don’t have those abilities or strengths. We may believe that success only comes to those with natural talent, motivation and ambition, holding ourselves back from what we are truly capable of.

But this simply isn’t the case. Top achievers in life always seek to draw out their ‘underdone’ strengths to improve them in order to perform and achieve. They take full responsibility for this, not an easy task but a necessary one.

I recently coached a copywriter who left her successful career to write her first novel. She felt a fraud, unable to say ‘I’m an author’ because she hasn’t been published yet.

In feeling a fraud, she wasn’t making things happen. She lacked confidence and was fearful of rejection.

In considering ‘who do I need to be, to be an author?’ she identified as confident, persuasive, methodical and flexible.

She then looked at ways to move towards being more confident and learning to be more persuasive, how to handle rejection to be more successful next time, what systems could help her to be more methodical, what she needed to do to be flexible – finding ways to be who she needed to be to do what she needed to do.

When stuck, she can ask ‘how does confident/persuasive need to show up for me today?’ Then she can behave differently to achieve that.

When was the last time you consciously worked on developing the ‘underdone’ areas in yourself?

This can prove challenging but the good news is that anyone can change and adapt – if they really want the end result enough.

To become who we need to be, we need to tap into the ‘underdone’ strengths and understand how to bring them into effective use.

1. Consider what strengths you need to achieve your goal? Examples are self confidence, ambitious, persuasive, quick to act, trusting, supportive, risk-taking, methodical, persevering, flexible, adaptable, analytical, tolerant…

2. What’s the reason for using this strength?

3. How will it help you to achieve your goal?

4. When or where will you use this strength?

5. How will this strength show up for you each day?

Now you can consider which ones of those are ‘underdone’ within you and you can work on strengthening these.

Asking yourself the question ‘who do I need to be, to do what I need to do?’ at the outset, can be the difference between failure and success.

We all have varying levels of strengths. Some that come more naturally to us and others are under-used. However, they can all be finely tuned to give us a varied and powerful toolkit of strengths to draw on when different goals and challenges in life and business appear.

Kate Southerby is a relationship intelligence and self-awareness expert, supporting entrepreneurs, businesses and corporate teams including Royal Marsden, Rothco & Publicis.

She is a speaker and a certified facilitator of TotalSDI, MBTI, Korn Ferry leadership styles & climate & Situational Leadership. iammecoaching.com

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Karen Kissane is a Business Coach and Mentor with a passion to help others realise their potential and achieve more in their life and business. She offers business, team and leadership coaching and training and is the founder of The Smart Woman’s Business Hub. Karen has mentored for The Cherie Blair Foundation for Women and is also a member of the Forbes Coaches Council. karenkissanecoaching.com

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TURNING KNOWLEDGE INTO BEHAVIOURS – the secret to success

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s a life and business coach, I’m fascinated [and slightly obsessed] with the question of why success comes more easily for some, yet others struggle to create the life they want.

sustainable plan so they quit and end up in a worse place than they were before, now also frustrated and disappointed.

Action always beats intention

People aren’t born successful, they become successful.

“You’ll never change your life until you change something you do daily. The secret of your success is found in your daily routine.”

- John C. Maxwell

So what is it that the 8% of people know that the rest of us don’t?

It’s quite simple. They are specific about what they want to achieve and they have a plan.

For example, saying you want to live a healthier life isn’t enough on its own. What kind of healthy? If you want to lose weight, how much weight?

Break it down into how much per week then it’s infinitely easier to take steps to make it happen.

Eliminate the vagueness and get really clear. Set realistic goals - if the bridge is too big to cross, it can go the other way. Your goal should stretch you but not be out of your reach.

No-one wants to fail at reaching their goals, not because they haven’t taken action, but because the goal was unachievable in the first place!

Based on that, success can be attributed to daily habits and understanding our own ‘map of the world’. By turning the knowledge we have into behaviours and building the confidence to take steps forward, it really is possible to design the life we want.

Several decades ago, researchers carried out a goalsetting study at Harvard Business School. Their cohort were students who were about to graduate and they wanted to analyse the effect goal-setting had on their future outcomes.

They asked the students one question.

Had they a written down goal and a plan for the future?

Only 3% answered yes to having a goal and a plan.

The study found that, in the future, this 3% group earned significantly more money than their counterparts.

The moral of the story is clear? Setting goals is crucial.

However, on its own, a goal isn’t enough. Anyone can set a goal, it’s what you do to take the action towards it that makes the difference in reaching it or not.

High achievers define timeframes Leaving a goal open ended is easy to wriggle out of. No date or time equals no urgency.

Ask yourself, specifically when do you want to achieve This? By 5pm next Friday? By the1st of next month?

Having a plan and taking action turns your knowledge into behaviour.

“By writing your goal down, you have a 33% stronger chance of turning your knowledge and ideas into long lasting behaviour.”

Whatever you want to achieve in life, the success comes from taking action. Those who do nothing, achieve nothing.

If you want to quit your 9-5 and own a business, you have to launch it.

If you want to have a best seller, you have to start writing.

If you want to be more visible, you have to put yourself out there.

The hard part isn’t in knowing what to do, it’s in actually doing it.

Only 8% of people stick to their New Years’ resolutions and, not only that, by the middle of January, most resolutions have been abandoned!

Why? Because people are motivated to achieve but they don’t know how to actually make it happen. They have no

When it comes to building a successful life and business, there are three things to have in place. If any one of these elements is missing, reaching your goal will be harder to come by.

1. STRATEGY 2. TAKE ACTION 3. RESILIENCE

Success is the sum of small efforts repeated day in, day out.

By personally committing to taking intelligent, consistent steps towards your goals every single day, you will make progress. It doesn’t matter how small the steps are, what matters is the implementation and turning your knowledge into long lasting behaviour that propels you forward.

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Find out your money personality at themoneywhisperer.co.uk

MONEY, MONEY, MONEY… How we do money is how we do everything.

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re you an emotional spender who buys things when you ‘feel’ like it, in order to quell those feelings in some way, even if it’s short term?

You shop, spend and buy - all with the sole purpose of improving your mood?

Is money to be enjoyed in the present or do you save diligently for the future, often at the expense of enjoying the here and now? Saving but not spending, shopping for the cheapest things (even though you could afford more) and struggling to outsource financially in your business or at home? Do you update a financial plan regularly or does the thought of one make you shudder…

How we react to money is a result of the messages we absorbed from family, friends and the media whilst growing up. This conditioning can result in taboos around money and how we operate around it. So, most of our adult attitudes towards money aren’t actually our own and it’s these attitudes and beliefs that create our ‘money story.’

Were you told ‘Working hard is the only way to earn money?’ Ever told yourself ‘I love what I do but it’s not about the money?’ Does your inner voice whisper ‘You can’t make more than you did at your job?’

These dangerous mindsets create a glass money ceiling that will stop you from earning, being financially successful and having a healthy relationship with money. Our life experiences play a key part in the development of our automatic habits (reactions) and attitudes (feelings and thoughts) towards money and dictate how our inner voice (subconscious) talks to us about money.

Uncovering your unique money personality empowers you to transform how you think and feel about money, about yourself, your business or career and even your relationships.

There are two symbiotic components to address in order to have a healthy relationship with money – the practical and the emotional.

Writing educational money and finance content at The Money Whisperer, I believed that providing clear, practical financial advice and education would help people become better at managing their money.

Growing from educator to mentor and now to

“Deep rooted money blocks will prevent you from taking logical steps to improve your finances”.

coach, I understand that the emotional issues run much deeper and need to be addressed first before the practical tools can have any meaningful impact.

What is your money personality?

Accumulator, Alchemist, Celebrity, Connector, Maverick, Nurturer or Romantic Your money personality is a combination of different money archetypes, some more dominant than others. No one trait is good or bad. However, over or underuse of any particular trait may indicate a need for more balance, deeper self-awareness and a new level of personal understanding.

Money Mindset Every opportunity we have with money is filtered or seen through the lens of our unique money personality. We can operate successfully with money when we draw on the strengths and reduce the self-sabotaging elements.

With money mindset work grounded in a powerful understanding of these personality elements, you can break these limiting beliefs and transform the way you view money. The ripple effect of that transformation will impact on all areas of your life and business.

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Emma Maslin is a Sacred Money Archetypes® certified money coach, personal finance mentor, bestselling author and founder of multi-award winning personal finance education website The Money Whisperer. She is also a qualified Chartered Accountant with a background in corporate finance.

Emma has written for HuffPost, This is Money and Metro and has featured in The Guardian, The Times, The Independent, Stylist and Red.

Rob Moore is a triple best-selling property author, public speaker, entrepreneur, and multi-million-pound property investor. robmoore.com

DO YOU EVER FEEL LIKE A FRAUD?

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hat you are going to be ‘found out’? That you don’t deserve it and will inevitably lose it all? That you are not good enough to maintain your current, or any lasting, success?

Do you ever think you’d better get out or give up, because it will all fall apart soon enough… That no matter how well you do, it’s never good enough? Do you often give up at things you are good at so you don’t have to live up to the pressure and expectation?

So ‘they’ have a label for all that, and it has become a ‘thing.’

‘Impostor syndrome’ (also known as impostor phenomenon, impostorism, fraud syndrome or the impostor experience) is a psychological complex where an individual doubts their accomplishments and has a persistent internalized fear of being exposed as a ‘fraud’. Despite external evidence of their competence, those experiencing this phenomenon remain convinced that they are frauds, and do not deserve all they have achieved.

People often feel like an ‘impostor’ and it’s interesting that this is not a mental disorder but almost has a label that sounds like it is.

The causes of this feeling include: l Low self-esteem and confidence. l Strong fear of failure, despite (m)any achievements. l Feelings of inadequacy. l Perfectionism paradox, where a desire for perfection leaves us dissatisfied with our actions or paralysed into inaction.

l High self-importance or unrealistic expectations that set up feelings of failure. l Potential for public criticism, punishment or shame for making mistakes. l Conditional worth or love, only gained through high achievement or success.

When I started investing in property, we had about five minutes to enjoy it before the 2008 recession. Investors and companies dropped like flies but we were young and lean (in terms of overheads) and although it was hard, it didn’t affect us as badly. We survived and became relevant almost by default. The upside being we learned a lot, kept overheads low and saved. But it created fears in us that it could happen to us next time, that we were lucky and that we didn’t deserve (and hadn’t earned) our elevated position. We found a downside to everything! But these ‘impostor’ emotions also served to keep us humble and hungry, and to remind us to plan well for future challenges and disruptions.

To further deal with and defeat your impostor feelings, try the following: l Manage your self-importance and expectations so that they are better balanced/more realistic. l Focus on giving value and helping others. l Make a list of 50–100 great things about you and why you deserve success. l Stop comparing yourself to others in an unbalanced manner. l Know that nothing you do or do

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not achieve defines who you are.

Get clear on your vision and legacy and how you want to be remembered. l If impostor syndrome gets loud, write it all down as personal therapy. l Know that nobody knows what you are thinking, feeling and fearing inside. l Practise owning, thanking and being grateful for your victories, successes and compliments. l Ask for help and share your feelings with professionals, friends, advisors and mentors. l Know that we are all struggling with self-worth, even your idols and huge celebrities. l

If you have impostor emotions, naming them as external ‘things’ can compartmentalise them and banish them as literal impostors that don’t have a space in your head. (Beware of labelling “People often feel them so much like an ‘imposter’ that you give and it’s interesting them an that this is not a identity and mental disorder start to take but almost sounds ownership of like it is.” them.)

Each time a fear of being found out rears its ugly head, think of all the things you will gain the more successful you are, and all the things you will lose by letting the impostor talk you out of your goals and self-worth.

THE POWER OF COMMUNICATION IN COACHING How to supercharge your skillset.

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o be the most effective coach and trainer I can be, I embed the powerful tools and techniques of Neuro Linguistic Programming in every training I deliver. To be an excellent coach, it is imperative to have excellent communication skills to be able to understand others. NLP helps you to deepen and develop these.

Seek first to understand.

When you understand your client, the work you do as a coach is life-changing. You may also hear someone who has trained in NLP say it has also been a life-changing experience. Training in NLP offers a very a powerful shift on a personal and professional level.

WHAT IS NLP?

Steve Payne, Coach, Master NLP Trainer, Founder of The Academy of Coaching and Training, International Executive Coach, Keynote Speaker, Co-author of My 31 Practices.

Neuro Linguistic Programming has been described as the ‘art and science of personal excellence’.

It’s all about the mind and the patterns that are programmed in and how we can change them taoct.uk for the better. It is a methodology for modelling steve.payne@taoct.uk excellence to obtain extraordinary results.

It deepens our ability to understand ourselves and others on a new level and to identify with who we really are, what we believe in and why.

It gives us opportunity to achieve the goals we set in life down in performance and thinking; when they limit us and and business when we free ourselves of unhelpful belief show up as unhelpful in our lives. systems.

You may have heard the term ‘self-limiting beliefs’ NLP is a set of tools and techniques for understanding This means anything we think that tells us we ‘can’t’ or we the patterns of thinking and behaviour that we all run are ‘bad’ at something or limit our thinking around what unconsciously. These patterns are embedded from a very we can achieve in that area. early age and are built from what we hear, see, feel and experience as a child and the belief system we have built We are all different, we think differently, we have around that and what we believe to be true in our worlds. different sets of values and beliefs, we interpret differently, we make meaning differently. We ‘map’ experience It also provides processes for identifying and changing differently. The client’s ‘map’ of the world is always the those patterns when they don’t serve us and when they produce negative behaviours as a result that slow us starting point.

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‘Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change’ HOW DO WE KNOW WHAT WE KNOW?

- Wayne Dyer

•See things from other people’s perspectives, creating stronger understanding; essential for conflict resolution, negotiation, managing others and building relationships.

NLP offers a simple yet powerful model of our Epistemology, that is, an understanding of how we know what we know. It explains how we create our maps (interpretations) of our world and experiences through our unique filters (the 5 senses) and that gives us clues as to where we might be making things more complex than necessary, thus creating barriers to success.

NLP also offers processes to ethically change our filters, to be able to really see things differently, gain a fresh perspective thus creating greater choice and freedom and changing our maps.

Imagine the power of being able to think differently about something that was holding you back or had always caused you angst.

If you change your map and way of thinking, you change your behaviour as a result

•Re-discover or connect with the source of their motivation to create action.

•Change limiting beliefs into empowering beliefs, essential for faster progress.

•Understand how language impacts behaviour and how behaviour impacts language. This makes a client more solution-focused and avoids ‘negative’ thinking. It changes focus from ‘why can’t I’? to ‘how can I’?

•Overcome debilitating self-doubt and ‘imposter syndrome’ to clear the space for growth.

•Exercise choice over their mindset and state. State being how we are in any given moment. Anxious, nervous, worried, confident, focused, excited, solution-focused.

•All performance is state-related. When a client can manage their own state, they will see better results.

HOW DOES IT ADD VALUE TO THE WORK OF COACHES?

ENHANCING COACHING

•Develop greater awareness.

‘Awareness is the mother of all skill sets’.

Sometimes all a client needs is greater ‘What I am awareness. When we become aware of I can aware of something, we tend to selfcontrol, what I correct. For example, if you become am unaware of aware you are unintentionally controls me’ shouting in a public place, you will automatically lower your voice. NLP - Sir John has many tools to deepen awareness.

Whitmore •Understand what is most important to them. This is essential for good decision-making.

•Align thoughts, words and action. Alignment and congruence are essential for success.

•Gain a 360-degree perspective on challenges they face. This creates options and can change limiting beliefs.

I’ve spent 30-years working in the field of communication and change, as a professional actor, entrepreneur, author, coach and motivational keynote speaker.

As well as designing and running Association for Coaching accredited training courses, I sit on the Training and Accreditation Panel for the Association for NLP (ANLP) which offers numerous opportunities to witness the immense benefits of NLP in people’s lives.

Over many years, I have not found anything as powerful as NLP that brings together such an effective set of communication skills and processes for powerful and rapid change.

The Association for Coaching Accredited Certificate in Coach Training (ACCT) course is unique as it includes an ANLP accredited NLP Diploma certification as part of it. Find out more here.

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YOUR BODY & YOUR BUSINESS Self-Care & Success go hand in hand

You have been gifted a human body.

A magnificent, ever-changing, selfcorrecting natural wonder that makes your life possible.

As a recreational competitive athlete and business owner, I have consistently prioritised my physical and mental performance since my 20’s. It’s a way of life that embraces my business too.

Cycling is my passion and I compete in cyclocross races, time trials and closed-circuit road races. At 48, I race alongside younger athletes yet I still perform well, am fitter and feel amazing for it.

But it’s the active and consistent self-care which allows me to combine hours of training, run my business , maintain my mental acuity - and preserve my sanity!

There is a direct correlation between your health and your profit line.

The functioning of your body at a cellular level affects your performance, behaviours and responses.

“Self-care is the practice of taking actions to protect or improve your physical and mental health, self-awareness, social & spiritual wellbeing and emotional balance”.

Your body produces hormones and brain chemicals which help you focus, elevate your mood, enhance your thought processes, heighten your memory and concentration, boost your confidence and build mental resilience.

When these chemicals are at peak, you make better, sharper decisions, build stronger relationships, break through mental and emotional blocks, develop new skills, respond calmly and swiftly to problems and move forwards to grow your business with confidence.

When all elements of your body and mind work together in harmony, that’s when you are in flow, performing at your peak and are the most productive, focused, creative and successful you can be.

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Yet if stress and exhaustion builds, peak performance reduces and problems arise so maintaining the balance is key.

‘Your body doesn’t care about your bottom line, it cares about your survival’.

Stress and overwhelm will always be your body’s priority at the expense of everything else including reproduction, mental health, cognitive function, digestion and energy. When we do not implement self-care routines or take active steps to choose stress-lowering lifestyle choices, the body literally robs Peter to pay Paul. It “steals” chemicals from your brain, organs and nervous system to produce stress hormones. So suddenly your mood plummets, thought processes are skewed, memory is impaired and concentration is lost. The impact on your business can be huge.

in protein, they also sustain your appetite and help to reduce dips in concentration and energy. Green juices and smoothies are rich in chlorophyll which helps to oxygenate the blood and keep the mind alert.

If you are a sugar and/or carb addict and often suffer brain fog, energy dips and have difficulty concentrating then I would encourage you to commit to reducing your intake. You will be surprised at the difference it makes to cut out refined sugar altogether but it’s not easy. Try ditching your evening carbohydrates and avoiding sugar after dinner and see if that helps with your sleep and energy levels the following morning.

Your body is a complex, perfectly engineered machine. One tiny malfunction affects the whole machine. It may be self-correcting, but it still needs your support. Your body will respond accordingly and thank you for it.

So will your business.

The Self-Care Solution Regular, structured and consistent self-care is imperative to combat imbalance and sometimes requires vulnerability and courage especially when it comes to your emotional wellbeing. It’s not just massages, weekend breaks and spa days. It is essential to consider practices which respect and recognise that your body is a gift that needs constant attention for it to continue to make success possible.

Practices such as weekly food prep when you’re time poor in the evenings, or restricting caffeine and alcohol during busy working weeks so you don’t burn out, or a daily sleep hygiene routine that eliminates blue light and screen time for example. Start with just one thing that feels manageable and stick to it. If you start with too many practices at once you will find it impossible to create new habits.

When I first started my self-care journey, I started with water. I went from drinking no water at all, to at least 2 litres of water every day. It became a habit and it changed my life. Try it for yourself every day. And see how much more productive you can be in your business as a result of that one simple change alone.

Certain foods eaten daily can enhance the production of an army of magical stress-busting, memory enhancing, energyreleasing, confidence-boosting and brain-sharpening powerhouse chemicals that will allow you to live your best life and run a successful business. Eggs and nuts for example contain nutrients and fats which support memory and cognitive function. Rich

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Gwen is a qualified Nutritionist and Fitness Instructor and founder of Biting Fit - a nutrition, fitness and wellbeing business. With over a decade of leadership experience she coaches Nutritionists and wellbeing coaches to grow their businesses online.

She is a recreational athlete and British Cycling competitive cyclist. bitingfit.co.uk

THE ILLUSION OF YOUR THINKING Is feeling uncomfortable such a big deal?

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hat awkward feeling, which discourages us from moving forwards, is part of our human experience yet has nothing do with who we really are or what we are capable of.

‘Endorsing’ the insecure thoughts just feeds them further so, instead of fuelling them, gently shift your perspective and open up a space for more wisdom, common sense and reality to emerge.

Try to really see that you are just caught up in your ‘thinking’ and are just experiencing an insecure thought and that this can, and will, change.

Feelings of discomfort can often derail our endeavours and can keep us limited within the boundaries of what we think feels ‘comfortable’. However, this is a totally subjective and individual experience. Our concepts of ‘comfortable’ are founded on changeable, fluid thoughts which ebb and flow and shift.

Feelings of discomfort are often rooted in fearful and insecure thinking and learning to see through the illusion of insecure thinking is the key to smashing through that discomfort- and moving way beyond it.

A different relationship with feeling ‘uncomfortable’ It’s not so much about making the insecure thoughts disappear or changing them into different ones (although this will happen as a by product of this understanding) but it has everything to do with forming a new relationship with our fears and self-doubts.

It’s about wising-up to their illusory, transient nature so that when you see them as ‘less of a big deal’, you can feel ‘uncomfortable’ and know it’s still OK to move forward, without risking your wellbeing.

Your insecure thinking is not the truth Insecure thoughts come and go like the wind and change over time. We all have stories that make up our view of who we are.

All events in life are neutral and hold no ‘truth’ until we add in our stories and unique thinking into the mix, creating our experience.

We can all think of something that used to freak us out but then during a real experience with it, we have discovered it’s actually not real. For example, a while ago I had some insecure thinking about doing live videos. It felt so uncomfortable… but I gave it a go and something interesting happened.

Firstly, I survived to tell the tale! Secondly, I actually received some great feedback and encouragement to do more; so now my experience tells me that my insecure thinking wasn’t an actual reality.

Start to understand that your insecure thoughts are not a truth. Ask yourself what stories have you made ‘truths’ and how are these holding you back?

Embracing Self Doubt Natalie King is an Ashridge Accredited Coach, speaker and experienced facilitator with over 15 years coaching experience. Natalie is dedicated to helping individuals to drop their stories and embrace life more fully and is a passionate advocate for mental health.

From a place of chaotic thinking, you are more likely to experience self-doubt than from moments of calm and clarity so if you find yourself caught in the grip of self-doubt, there is a good chance that your level of clarity has dropped and your thinking is less aligned with reality. Be aware of this. What if you embraced self-doubt as an invitation to examine your state of mind rather than embracing your insecure thoughts?

thisonepreciouslife.co.uk

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Bonita is a qualified Professional Personal Performance Coach, a trained NLP, Hypnotherapy and Kinetic Shift Practitioner.

She specialises in treating anxiety, stress, trauma & PTSD. She offers corporate training in Confidence and Resilience and works internationally. future-edgecoaching.co.uk

FREEDOM FROM TRAUMA

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n my previous teaching career as a Deputy Head Teacher, I encountered increasing numbers of stressed and anxious staff and I wanted to understand what this really was. I discovered many had been traumatised by incidences and child protection issues and they were often at breaking point.

Kinetic Shift and Quick Induction Hypnotherapy

The desire to help them led to a new understanding of how trauma affects how people think, feel and perform. I realised more and more people were suffering with PTSD and were held back by events from their childhood, work environment or family situations.

I’d also recovered from my own trauma and was very aware of the effect trauma had on my mindset and body.

I trained in coaching, NLP and kinetic shift therapy and work to help people to recover from trauma and improve their futures.

It works by creating links from the past – using past strengths, past achievements, finding exactly when things started to feel different and exploring any thoughts or feelings with significant meanings in order to discover the impact; then identifying what you need to hold onto and what you need to get rid of - and why.

These models of therapy and coaching identify and treat the “trigger”, and this is the key to making a significant difference to the speed of improvement. These tools were game changers for me and, more importantly, for the people I help.

How does it work?

After the trauma or anxiety has been dealt with, there are daily coping/ maintenance techniques and tools to use. These help you to become free, release and separate the past trauma from the present and look to a new future.

How does trauma present?

Trauma or a flashback is any significant singular event or occurrence that causes a mental, emotional or physical manifestation in the body. It’s a reminder of the past event and these effects are the body’s defence system kicking in.

They are often unpleasant and distressing to experience; increased heart rate, sweaty palms, feelings of panic and the real belief that something is happening. These symptoms can be brief but very intense and a person can sometimes forget where they are or revisit the traumatic event mentally and emotionally.

Significant events or trauma affects confidence and resilience, even many years later. We are often unaware of the trauma or event as it’s been buried as a coping strategy but shows up when resilience and confidence dip.

With anxiety, stress, PTSD or Complex PTSD, working with a counsellor or CBT therapist can be successful; but what’s often missing is the next steps for the future and how to make them.

“Once the feelings associated with a specific trauma are reduced, the relief is immense.”

By combining the therapies with coaching skills, success on all levels can be achieved. PTSD, anxiety and stress can be successfully treated, and you can lead a very happy life thereafter.

The secret ingredient is simply the desire to get rid of the past and not to allow yourself to be defined by it.

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ALL STRATEGY AND NO SOUL? Energy mastery for business growth.

K

irtsy Kianifard runs a multiple awardwinning EcoSpa in her home town of Brighton and Hove, a training school for wellness practitioners and an international coaching practice in which she coaches other wellness entrepreneurs to thrive and grow their own businesses.

My clients all told me they loved my therapy work, but I wasn’t really sure what ‘my work’ actually was as it didn’t seem to ‘fit’ any boxes.

When I was with my clients, I was totally in the zone; tapped into something very different - full alignment. No doubting, no second guessing. But when I was out of the room and it came to my business, I realised I was all strategy and no soul!

The penny dropped! I wasn’t aligning my energy work with my business strategy.

I made a 360 and applied everything I knew about energy mastery to reprogram the beliefs that were keeping me stuck; meditation, journaling, future scripting and mindful visualisation and BOOM, it all started to change.

It’s an easy mistake to separate business growth from personal growth, thinking if you do the ‘right’ things (ie strategy) it will produce the right results. But growing a business is personal growth and when you work on your energetic bandwidth, it all changes.

Everything is energy and, like transmission capacity of a computer, we need a strong bandwidth in order to hold greater success, money, responsibility and creativity.

Without working on this, we find ourselves reaching a certain level of success, then burning out or heading into self-sabotage as we lack the capacity needed to sustain a steady trajectory of growth.

She has mastered her energy to build her success but it wasn’t always this way...

“In the early days, I was a slave to my passion, I was last on every list and so overwhelmed by the desperation to ‘make it’ that my exhaustion was like my irritating sidekick.

I compared myself to everyone, doubted everything and this led to procrastination, excuses, low energy and going nowhere fast.

I sacrificed everything for the needs of my clients. I was dedicated to them. But there “Business growth was nothing left in me and my spark was is personal growth fading fast. How could I serve them well and when you work when I was so depleted?

on your energetic bandwidth, it all changes”

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I created the seven energetic principles of business success to help wellness entrepreneurs to focus on their energy mastery.

1. Living on Purpose - Your business must be in alignment with your bigger mission. What are your core values and how do these fuel your why? Not knowing your big why can lead to a disconnect between you and your offer. If you don’t love what you are selling, how can you expect anyone else to?

2. Position of Guidance - Are you trying to steal the light from your client? Do you want to be the one they are indebted to for their transformation? Make sure that hero is your client, not you. Positioning yourself as the guide in your clients story builds the know, like and trust factor that fuels the longevity of your business and the sustained empowerment of your client.

3. Limitless Mindset - The only limit to your potential is YOU. The creative opportunities that lies before you in your business are infinite so investing in your mindset will maximise your greatest asset (which is also you btw).

4. Commitment to Highest Service - Where does your unique skill set and your passion collide? How can you harness these to be of the highest service to your clients?

Mediocre practice leads to a mediocre business (at best), so dare to dream and let your clients see you at your most potent.

5. Balanced Energetic Exchange - Your prices should be in alignment with the transformation you offer. We all know that sustained change takes time and commitment from both sides. Focusing on the transformation you offer (born from step one) rather than the modalities you use to achieve these, allows you to fully step into your power and own your worth.

6. Willingness to Receive - Being able to close the loop and continue to give back to yourself will increase your energetic bandwidth and therefore enable you to hold much success. Missing this piece of the puzzle is a surefire way to reach burnout, fatigue or worse still, total stagnation. Lead by example and double down on your devotion to self. Â 7. Detachment to Outcome - Attachment and neediness repel. Taking the aligned action necessary to reach your desired outcome and then releasing attachment to the result allows for space for new opportunities and sparks of creativity to flow. Â These principles can be applied to all aspects of life and business to bridge the gap between your personal development and business growth.

kirstykianifard.com

Kirsty Kianifard is a multi-award winning Business owner and growth Coach with a mission to scale the impact of the wellness world.

Founder of an Organic Spa and Wellbeing Training School, Kirsty coaches other wellness entrepreneurs to master their message, uplevel their income and create freedom in their life and business.

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. . . h c ou c e h t on Coach

RECOGNISING TOXIC & UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS Why did you choose coaching as a career?

wi th

JOHN KENNY

7 years ago, I worked with a coach during a time where I was counselling clients and helping them - but my own life was still a mess.

Coaching showed me that I could change my life if I changed my story that I was following and create a new one. I had grown up in an environment that led me to believe I was would never amount to anything; that relationships were unreliable and unsustainable and I was better off on my own. Understanding myself more completely has enabled me to leave these old beliefs behind, choose new ones and make a different life for myself. Over the years, it has become my passion to help others through coaching.

What is Interpersonal Relationship Coaching?

John Kenny is a Transformational Relationship Coach, Founder of Interpersonal Relationship Coaching (IRC), Author of The P.E.O.P.L.E. Programme, Author and Public Speaker.

A fusion of Coaching, Counselling and Hypnotherapy.

It means looking at the journey you’ve had, the story you tell yourself about relationships and life and most importantly about yourself - what perceptions you hold, what beliefs you carry and the meanings that you give to these in your situations.

These can be transformed into more positive thoughts and beliefs and my main focus is in helping people to confidently manage toxic/unhealthy relationships and overcome their personal blocks.

johnkennycoaching.com

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What is a toxic/unhealthy relationship?

As we grow up, we learn about relationships, how we fit into them and what parts of us we can and cannot show to feel loved, cared for and accepted.

If we have an unhealthy example, we may believe that we need to please in order to gain acceptance or to avoid loss/pain and, as a result, we will continue to (unwittingly) attract relationships where we fulfil this belief.

We develop a ‘window of comfort’ and anything outside of this leaves us trying to do anything we can to get us back into it. If this means a need to please, then you will fulfil that unhealthy ‘need’ in order to feel ‘comfortable’ again.

An extreme of this behaviour is a term that is banded around a lot, narcissism.

Not everyone who manipulates, needs to always be right, won’t accept responsibility for their actions or becomes emotionally or physically abusive is a narcissist, but they have certainly developed a maladaptive way of relating, better described as narcissistic tendencies.

People like this have an extremely narrow ‘window of comfort’ and will do whatever it takes to get them back into the space where they feel safest. If that means they need to manipulate, lie, scream and shout and make demands (a need to be heard) that is exactly what they will do. They often use emotional blackmail to look for proof that others care enough about them.

When these elements are present, but not restricted to, this is a toxic or unhealthy relationship.

What is the biggest block to people getting help?

People are unaware of the problem or they make excuses.

They get stuck in their patterns, going from day to day, fulfilling the needs from the past, oblivious to the impact it’s having.

Then there is change itself which can be difficult due to the tendency to want to be ‘safe’ - our brain likes what it knows.

I work with the resistance that presents when people want to make change and do something better for themselves.

They find it incredibly hard to break away from their old beliefs and perceptions of self and life.

Also, some people want the people around them to change. (I cover this in my book about how hard or near impossible this task is)

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But if you haven’t changed yourself then you won’t feel comfortable even if they do change, as they then stop meeting your ‘needs’.

What is the biggest lesson you have learned about your work and yourself?

Professionally, I have learned that it is all about the people around you. There’s lots I can do myself in my business and, ultimately, it’s only me that can make it happen, but having good, honest, reliable and supportive people around you is crucial.

On a personal level, it’s keeping on top of my old selfsabotaging behaviours; when I know there are times I am procrastinating and trying to fulfil my old negative beliefs.

Do you have a favourite quote or words of wisdom?

“People are unaware of the problem or they make excuses”.

One of my favourite quotes is by Homer Simpson! In one episode he says, ‘just because I understand, it doesn’t mean I care!’.

We want people to do what we expect them to do. If they understand what we are going through or what causes our problems, we expect them to care about it but if it doesn’t mean enough to them, they understand but won’t care enough to do anything.

Once we accept this then our life is so much easier and we can look to ourselves and others who do care enough.

NEW DOCUMENTARY COMING SOON! ‘Forget Me Not - For The Child You Left Behind’ Available on Amazon Video On Demand.

SEE WEBSITE FOR UPDATES.

BRING BALANCE TO YOUR LIFE AND BOOST YOUR ENERGY

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THE 3 ENERGY RESERVES

n a society hooked on being busy, how do you bring balance to your life and boost your energy reserves?

Physical Energy – fuels our ability to move around and powers our physiology Mental energy – powers our thinking and ideas and the internal processing of the mind Emotional Energy – fuels our feelings and contributes to our state of being Common symptoms of low reserves in these areas are; Physical – tiredness, insomnia, headaches, loss of appetite, no energy, stiffness, aches or pains.

Mental – loss of concentration, foggy head, forgetfulness Emotional – irritability, mood swings, low motivation Do any of these seem familiar? Sometimes you are not consciously aware of exactly what is draining or even boosting your physical, mental and emotional energy.

Becoming more self-aware is the first step to noticing when things are out of balance.

Keep a weekly diary of events, how you feel, what’s going on and notice what patterns may emerge. Watch for situations, people or activities that trigger either a drain or a boost in your energy.

With work and personal lives being more intertwined than ever, there are ever increasing cases of stress - related illness and burnout. The Mental Health Foundation found that in 2018, 74% of UK adults had felt so stressed at some point in the year that they felt overwhelmed or unable to cope.

Are we paying enough attention to our energy?

Squeezing that extra bit of effort out, working those extra few hours to get something finished? Believing if we just get past this crisis it will all be ok?

In the frantic pace of day to day life, the vital warning signs that we are running on empty are often missed or ignored.

It’s a quick fix to just grab yet another coffee or energy drink but that isn’t sustainable in the long run.

We need to pay attention to topping up our wellbeing energy reserves regularly so that when faced with tough times, we have the resilience to recover more quickly and perform at our best.

PHYSICAL

EMOTIONAL WELLBEING ENERGY

MENTAL

TOP ENERGY BOOSTING TIPS One of the biggest areas is in building in positive habits with the aim of them becoming automatic in your subconscious so you don’t even have to think about them.

Sleep and exercise are still one of the most important contributing factors to physical emotional and mental wellbeing.

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Evelyn is a qualified executive coach and mindfulness expert who is passionate about helping professionals stretch themselves without burning out. With a public sector background of over 20 years, she is experienced is in leading teams through high profile organisational change.

Her private group wellbeing workshops are delivered to corporates and individuals.

Evelyn has been featured on local radio and regularly speaks at charity events. wellnessforsuccess.com

MINDFULNESS It is a word you hear a lot these days but what does it actually mean?

It’s simply about spending more time in the present moment and connecting with yourself in that single space.

Taking yourself out of the stressful time and shifting focus from the stress to the peace of your own mind.

Practising mindfulness is incredibly beneficial for your emotional energy and ability to focus.

positive, no matter how big or small. Take time to be kind to someone every day, whether you know them or not.

Take a moment to smile or speak or make a gesture of consideration.

MINDFUL BREAKS Taking regular breaks boosts mental energy - but how many of us just work solidly for hours sometimes without a break? Our brains need frequent rest breaks during the day to process learning and memories.

A simple mindful exercise to immediately help overwhelm or stress: Stop what you are doing, close your laptop or put on the screen saver Rest your hands on your lap and uncross your legs.

Start by taking a few slow deep breaths in and out.

Look around your environment and pick something to focus your attention on.

Really pay attention to what you are looking at. Notice the detail intensely What do you see, notice, feel, observe?

Bring your awareness to your body and notice from your feet up to your neck shoulders arms and head if there is any tension or tightness Stand up, stretch or roll your shoulders or ankles.

Take 3 deep breaths and then resume.

Rest doesn’t always mean having a nap! It means consciously moving your mind away from concentrated focus. Get outside, switch on some music, practise the mindful exercise or meditate.

CONNECTION Connecting with others, share thoughts and concerns to gain perspective.

This reminds us we don’t have to carry our emotional burdens by ourselves. Make time to catch up with friends or do something just for fun. If you spend a lot of time working on your own at home, make time to connect with other people, find a co-working space or join an online mentor group of entrepreneurs for support.

GRATITUDE AND KINDNESS Practising gratitude and kindness raises serotonin levels which helps us feel good. Keep a daily gratitude journal.

Write down at least 3 things from the day that were

29

‘Remember - always take care of YOU first’

Dhiya Arora holds a BSc in Psychology & Business, is an ACT Coach, NLP Master Practitioner, and has multiple qualifications in dance. idhiya.com

THE PHILOSOPHY OF

DANCING WITH PURPOSE

T

he muscles in our body have memory, just like our mind. This incredibly intricate, bilateral relationship demonstrates the brilliance of the Mind-Body connection.

It’s very effective to coach when the unconscious mind is already open and receptive. Coaching in a dance studio challenges the mind (as the setting is atypical) and gives the client physical ‘space to think.’

Ideas can be taken to the floor to physically explore situations and thoughts, often using music. This helps to physically recognise where they are versus where they want to be and helps guide me - as their coach - to support them; making the whole coaching process a tactile experience.

In a digital age, we can find our physical expression managed into controlled environments such as a yoga class or the gym; so it’s important to remember to incorporate the understanding of state and movement into our daily interactions through a sense of somatic play.

Physical alienation leads to apathy, but emotional expression encourages empathy which helps us make sense of our ideas, remain open to those of others and encourages us to make decisions through both mind and body thus creating greater congruency within.

Neurolinguistic-Programming (NLP) presupposes that the mind and body are one linked system; meaning there is a cause-effect relationship between the two.

What the mind gives attention to, the body experiences and feeds back to the mind, which then decides what action to take; unless the body has instinctively reacted to the stimulus it faces - fight or flight.

Dancers, performers, acrobats, athletes, surgeons and those in physically demanding roles understand this mindbody relationship as they cultivate a strong physical sense or movement dexterity by learning through physicality.

Successful people invest time training their sensory awareness and co-ordination to help them perform their goals and/or personal objectives, moving between intention and action with mental prowess. (Think Usain Bolt pacing the track before a 100m race.)

“Yato Hasta Tato Drishti, Yato Drishti Tato Mana, Yato Mana Tato Bhava, Yato Bhava Tato Ras.” ~ Natya Shastra (Indian Treaties of Dramatic Arts) “ Where the hands go, the eyes must follow, where the eyes go, the mind must follow, where the mind goes the (mental) state must follow and where the mental state goes the emotion will arise.”

Active in the dance industry as a teacher, performer and presenter, Dhiya promotes the philosophy of Dancing with Purpose.

As a classically trained Kathak dancer, this Sanskrit proverb encourages me to deliver immersive, believable expression on stage, infused with emotion and spiritualism and to dance with purpose; for the movement to carry a greater intention or purpose and to literally ‘move’ an audience.

People are emotionally open and often vulnerable whilst learning dance and great teachers hold this space to encourage a deeper kinaesthetic exploration of the self.

30

THE POWER OF THE PODCAST

P

odcasts are hugely on the rise. With more than 700,000 active podcasts currently and over 70 million people tuning in every week to listen to them, the numbers are rising every day.

Having a podcast immediately makes you part of the media and you have a good reason to contact those big names in your industry and ask them to be on your show. I’ve lost count of the number of opportunities I’ve had because of my podcast. You’ll meet some incredible people when you start your podcast, grow your business and increase your credibility.

Why should I start a podcast?

As we build our businesses online, we are in an increasing ‘pay to play’ environment and often need to pay for Facebook ads and marketing to just get in front of the people we want to attract.

Key points to consider before starting your own show: Sound quality is everything. Listeners will switch off if the sound is dodgy so you definitely need to invest in a good mic. You can get started with a set of earbuds with an inbuilt mic but I wouldn’t recommend this if your podcast is promoting your business.

The Blue Yeti is a good option to get started with as well as a set of noise cancelling headphones. You can get a good set for around £30 online.

The biggest thing you need to consider though when starting your podcast, even above equipment, is the listener.

Who they are? What do they want to hear from you? What keeps them up at night? Where they are listening to you? What are they too afraid to tell the people in their lives about but want some support on?

Considering your ideal listener at the heart of your show above all else will ensure you create a podcast perfectly suited to them. Not the one you would fancy creating, but the one that has the capacity to change perceptions, educate and change lives.

Podcasting offers a valuable alternative to this. You can produce a podcast inexpensively and you 100% own the content.

Guess what happens when a new listener finds your show? It’s like Netflix! They binge listen to a few episodes at once and then the magic happens… they share what they like, effectively promoting your show for free and the awareness builds.

Yes, video is king - and that’s not about to change - but there’s something incredibly powerful about a podcast.

As a host, you get to build up that elusive ‘know, like and trust’ factor very quickly so podcasting proves a brilliant way to grow your business.

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Lynsay Anne has over 20 years experience in business and coaching and holds a Masters in Coaching & Mentoring as well as Workplace Psychology qualifications. She helps entrepreneurs to start and grow their podcasts. Lynsay is the host of the Choose Courage podcast and is on a mission to help women to have a bigger impact on the world and have their messages heard through podcasting. lynsayanne.com

. d e ir p s n I e B . n te is L . d Rea Life Leverage Rob Moore

Head Strong Dave Asprey

How to get more done in less time, outsource everything & create your ideal mobile lifestyle.

A revolutionary plan to upgrade your brainpower in two weeks or less.

Outliers Malcolm Gladwell

The Big Leap Gay Hendricks Conquer Your Hidden Fear and Take Life to the Next Level.

The story of success is far more surprising, and inspiring, than we ever imagined.

Playing BIG Tara Mohr

The 5 Love Languages for Men Gary Chapman

The Prosperous Coach Steve Chandler & Rich Litvin

Bringing you’re A-game to your relationships.

Increase Income and Impact for You and Your Clients.

Language as a Window into Human Nature.

Whatever you Think - Think the Opposite Paul Arden

The Motivation Manifesto Brendan Buchard

Eat Yourself Healthy Dr Megan Rossi

Giving you the confidence to take bigger risks and enjoy your work.

A pulsing, articulate, ferocious call to claim our personal power.

Burnout - The Secret to Solving the Stress Cycle Emily & Amelia Nagoski

A practical guide for brilliant women like you.

Why women experience burnout differently.

The Stuff of Thought Steven Pinker

An easy-to-digest guide to health and happiness from the inside out.

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The Disruptive Entrepreneur Rob Moore

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How to take bold action in your life and work, despite the little voice in your head that says, “Who do you think you are? You can’t do THAT!”

Entrepreneur, investor and businessman - expect a mix of disruptive content and a totally unique concept in the world of the entrepreneur.

The success antidote for women, sharing stories and takeaways to help you in career, finances and personal life.

32

Ram Dass Here and Now

The Ultimate Health Podcast

Sharing his heartcentred wisdom in each episode, featuring excerpted lectures given throughout the last 40 years.

The Reboot Podcast Jerry Colonna

Take your health to the next level. Guest interviews with worldclass experts in the health & wellness community.

Entrepreneurs, CEO’s, and Startup Leaders discuss the emotional and psychological challenges they face.

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Helping you to develop your sales skills and build confidence to grow your business. teresabrookscoaching.com

Lynsey Gould

Alison Coates

Podcasting & Business Coach

Consulting & Emotional Intelligence Coach Inspiring Performance through emotional intelligence coaching focused on building awareness.

Helping you to start and grow your podcast to scale your business.

coaching@alisonjcoates.com

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Karen Kissane

Suzy Ashworth

Life Coach, Business Coach and Mentor

Mindset and Business coach

ICF Accredited Life & Business coaching for ambitious people. karenkissanecoaching.com info@karenkissanecoaching.com

Inspiring events & retreats. suzyashworth.com

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Chanelle Segerius-Bruce

Executive Business Coach, AC & ANLP Accredited NLP Coach and Training Provider

Business Mentor and Mindset Coach

Delivering quality training for coaches to build successful businesses.

Helping women to grow successful businesses.

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Business Coach,

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International Business Speaker and Multi Award Winning Business Coach

Business Coach & Online Branding Specialist Helping entrepreneurs build a strong online brand. segeriusbrucecoaching.com

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Helping Entrepreneurs

to product, food start-ups

& Business owners to grow,

& SME’s.

profit and scale.

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Matthew Radley

Michelle Yeoman

Tom Kent

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Supporting business owners to take action and achieve.

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Mindset Strategist, NLP Master Coach & Hypnotherapist Heal your emotional baggage & strengthen your mind for happiness.

WELLNESS

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Dhiya Arora

Issy Harvey

Emma Maslin

Executive Confidence Coach

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Certified Money Coach &

Building authentic confidence for

NLP Master Practitioner

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& Lifestyle Development.

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Natalie King

Modern Man Coach, NLP Master Coach, Hypnotherapist

Transformational Coach, Trainer & Speaker

Helping men to manage divorce and mid-life crisis.

Helping individuals to reduce stress, gain clarity and unleash potential.

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Louise Lewis

Energy Practitioner, EFT, Matrix Re-imprinting and Kinesiology

ICF Certified Performance Coach for confidence, resilience & wellbeing in individuals and teams

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David Kaufman

Kirsty Kianiford

Career & Wellness Coach

Peak Lifestyle Coach, NLP Trainer & Nutrition specialist

Helping you to clients reach the next level in your career & achieve balance in your life.

Helping you achieve peak lifestyle to reach full potential.

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Wellness Business Growth Coach

Coaching wellness entrepreneurs to grow a thriving business.

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Workshops, training and team development. vibrantchange.co.uk Issy@vibrantchange.co.uk

Personal Finance Mentor Empowering a positive relationship with money. themoneywhisperer.co.uk

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Esther Wane

Transformational Speaker, Coach & Personal Growth Facilitator

Accredited Strengths Coach, Creative Coach & Storyteller

Empowering you to realise your greatness. jonathanwgreen.co.uk

Lucy Power

Therapeutic Coach Helping you identify, understand and resolve trauma defences that keep you stuck. lucypowerworld.com lucy@lucypowerworld.com

Gwen Warren

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Evelyn Kaluza

Executive Wellness Coach and Mindfulness Expert Wellbeing workshops for corporates and individuals.

Helping you to manage stress and reconnect. wellnessforsuccess.com

Julie New

Online Health Business Coach

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Helping nutritionists and wellbeing coaches to grow their online business.

Helping you to recover from difficult times and to thrive not just survive.

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MENTORS

Robert Terry Helping Entrepreneurs build

CONSULTANTS

bigger and better business

Croz Crossley Mindset Master for Business & Personal Growth

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robert@thehumbleentrepreneur.o.uk

sarah@26twelve.co.uk

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Jonathan Wall

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Hannah Martin

PR Expert, Mentor & Author

Online Website & Marketing Consultant Helping businesses to build

TEDx speaker Coach, Business & Marketing Strategist

& grow their websites.

Helping you to master speaking in a compelling way.

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Cathy Wassall Lead Generation Strategist

THERAPISTS

Partnering with ambitious professional women to help them to build profitable businesses.

Rob Moore Podcaster, Author, Property Investor

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Marketing Consultant

effusivemarketing.com Mike@effusivemarketing.com

Business Mentor

Mentoring & Training entrepreneurs to build businesses and wealth.

Michael Kalisperas Specialist in full agency, lead generation and automation systems for businesses.

Sarah Jayne Cave

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UK’s No.1 Fear Strategist Helping you to transform your deepest fears and phobias into your greatest strengths.

KeithBlakemoreNoble.com keith@KeithBlakemoreNoble.com

Jessica Alex

Teaching you mindset success for life & business.

Copywriter, Qualified psychotherapist, Hypnotherapist

Delivering stand out PR.

and NLP Practitioner.

Founder of Talented Ladies Club.

natalietrice.co.uk

talentedladiesclub.com

Marketing Consultant

Communications Consultant

Ruth Elkins

Mary Anna Wright

Creating and implementing successful marketing strategies for entrepreneurs and small businesses

PR, Media, creative content & copywriting.

Coach supervision for ICF credentials.

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ruthelkins.com mail@ruthelkins.com

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Daniele Sorace

Bonita Ackerman du Preez

John Kenny

Transformational Relationship Coach, Author & Speaker Helping you to manage Toxic Relationships & overcome personal blocks to Success. johnkennycoaching.com

Life Coach, mBIT Coach, Trainer, NLP Master Practitioner & Hypnotherapist

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Leadership Coach & Mentor to Coaches

Anxiety & Stress Management Therapist and Coach Specialising in the treatment of trauma, PTSD, anxiety, stress, fears and phobias.. future-edgecoaching.co.uk

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