Surviving the Political Divide

The Political Divide and Our Well-Being I was very intrigued with the For Us and Our CountryGabrielle Duebendorfer, ND instead of “but”. As a clinician Walking through our forest, freshly covered with snow, with my pup- I am very familiar with listenpy delighting in the fluff and me relishing the quiet, I feel a deep sense ing skills, but not so much of Well-Being. Everything is ok, peaceful, safe, and inspiring. This with expressing my differing article was basically written in my head during this walk. personal opinions as that is My walks haven’t always been that peaceful with my puppy. There not appropriate with patients. were a few weeks where she definitely exhibited 2-year old behavior I was delighted to experience and I had a very hard time controlling my own reactivity – almost like the difference of following a 2-year old in myself because she didn’t behave like I wanted her to! a reflection of what I heard It was two weeks of a very stressful time, promptly leading to a cold – with “and” instead of “but” as luckily not Covid. Once I figured out that her personality did not jive I found it left much more of an with my disciplinary approach, understood that opposition just caused opening for further conversamore of the same, and that she just needed something in her mouth, tion. In practicing with a red our walks have been quite delightful again – opening to Well-Being friend, I, a blue leaning liberbetween and beyond the two of us. al, was feeling safe enough I see this potential for an opening to Well-Being in our current divi- to pro-actively express how a sive political environment, which has really come to a hot point with voiced charged political genthis election. I hold this opening as important, because I see it causing eralization made me feel. It stress all the way down to my neighbors with no end in sight. It is im- actually made me and the portant from a medical perspective, because chronic stress elevates whole room more relaxed. stress hormones such as cortisol long-term, causing subtle but even- This brings me back to my dog and me. Layla is a very sweet puptually considerable damage to all body systems. If you are interest- py if I can read her right. It’s like a dance between listening and then ed in how adrenal dysfunction causes disease, read “When the Body responding in the most effective way. I can dance that dance when I Says No” by Dr. Gabor Mate. He gives a very intriguing and in-depth am reminding myself that she really just wants to please me and be description of how chronic stress due to – often unconscious - internal loved; that her puppyhood behavior and her personality is not out to divisiveness leads to different diseases. get me or make me mad, but to be respected by me while I maintain This current political divisiveness not only contributes to illness on my own boundaries. It can be like that in our relationships with people the individual level where it gets internalized, but it also causes dishar- of differing opinion as well as in the political arena. If we start buildmony in our personal relationships and how our country is being run. ing bridges based on constructive respectful listening while skillfully We have the perfect opposites here with half the country being pitted expressing our emotions and views, we all feel heard and can enjoy against the other – might there be a similarity to my situation with my a common sense of Well-Being. That might just pave the road for puppy? A basic misunderstanding and rejection of our “personalities” constructive cooperation on the local and national level. If you are or maybe better our values, which influence our behavior and actions? interested in participating in our upcoming (December 12th) one-onHow can half of the country be “right” and the other “wrong” with the one workshop, where red and blue pairs dialogue with each other with swing of an election? the intention of creating bridges rather than wedges, please feel free There are many people in Sandpoint and all over the country who to contact me at 208-290-5991. currently are engaged in building bridges, fostering respectful relationships, and encouraging seeing humanity of people across the divide. Skills that are needed to do this are also skills that can be applied to our internal divisiveness - so no effort wasted. A group of people in Sandpoint, who are concerned about the local divisiveness in our community that has evolved within the last few decades, has organized civil discourse trainings based on the Braver Angels (www. braverangels.org) approach. The Braver Angles mission statement describes themselves as a “citizens’ organization uniting red and blue Americans in a working alliance to depolarize America.” They focus on understanding others’ point of view rather than convincing them of theirs, looking for common ground and ways to work together, and practicing skills that bring us together. On the day after the election they facilitated a presentation (https:// www.youtube.com/watch?v=K0xFsqL3xiE) that, besides two excellent speakers and Q&A, involved three red and blue pairs, who either voted for Trump or Biden. It was so delightful to see them engaging in dialogue in a respectful Medical - Dental - Pediatrics and hopeful way. It gave me hope that perhaps the next four years Behavioral Health - VA can honor the whole country’s 267-1718 Bonners Ferry needs instead of those of just one party. That transformation does 265-6252 Ponderay have to start at home – right here! 265-2242 Sandpoint Pediatrics Our Civil Discourse group has 448-2321 Priest River had one basic skill training recently, where we learned how to 263-0450 VA really listen and speak in a way kaniksuhealthservices.org that doesn’t antagonize the othAround here, we take care of our own, help out er and yet express one’s differour neighbors, work hard, and pitch in where ing viewpoint on touchy topics. A brief 45 minute version and skills we ’ re needed. That’ s small town living. sheet can be found here: https:// But small town living does not have to mean braverangels.org/online/onsacrificing access to quality healthcare. At line-skills-training/. It is quite difficult, but feeling heard by somebody of an opposing perspective induces a relaxation response Kaniksu Health Services, our qualified care teams provide excellent healthcare for the residents of north Idaho. Together we ' re building a healthier that counters the high cortisol recommunity. sponse by stressful interactions. speaking skill of using “and”