Is this a call, 2017 edition

IS THIS A CALL?

A call often dawns like the growing light in the morning sky...

O

High and Glorious God,

enlighten the darkness of my heart, and give me true faith, certain hope and perfect charity, sense and knowledge, Lord, that I may carry out Your holy and true command.

Amen. ~Saint Francis of Assisi

Is This A Call?

As Veronica knelt in prayer in the adoration chapel, a nun in full habit whisked past her pew and the question entered her mind, “Would you live that life for Me?” [\

At the age of twelve or thirteen while Katherine was at Sunday Mass with her family, the words of the song “Here I am Lord” took on a personal meaning.

She sang them from her heart and they became like a secret promise to God. [\

One night at youth group the topic was the Gospel story of the “Rich Young Man” whom Jesus told to go and sell his belongings and give the money to the poor and to come follow Him. The young man in the Scripture went away sad.

He could not do it. Ruth went home from youth group that night and could not sleep. What Jesus said to that young man He seemed to be saying to her.

She wondered how she could respond to this. How do you sell your things at fourteen and give the money to the poor, she wondered. [\

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hese stories are true and each of these young ladies eventually became certain that God was calling her to the religious life. Each has chosen a community, entered, and progressed through the necessary years of formation, and has professed life‐long vows of poverty, chastity and obedience.

How do you know if God is calling you? What should you do if you have an experience that causes the question to rise up within you: Is this “a call”?

This booklet is meant to help you figure out the answer to these questions in your own life. Your vocation is a deeply personal question, between you and the God who created and loves you. No one can answer this question for you, but that does not mean that you have to figure it out on your own.

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God Created You With A Purpose in Mind God, our Creator, is first and foremost a Father. He is the Father who created me and you out of love. He had a purpose in mind when He called you into being and the mission He made you for is a mission which is part of His eternal plan.

How can you discover what God’s plan is for your life?

Discernment Flows From Relationship If you want to know God’s will, you must be in a relationship with God. The best starting point for a relationship with God is not, “Am I supposed to be a sister?” Imagine there was an attractive young man in your Chemistry 101 class on your first day of college, and you would love to get to know him better. Imagine if you introduced yourself to him by saying, “Am I supposed to marry you?” He might respond, “How about if we go out for coffee first?”

If our starting point for going deeper in our relationship with God is, “Am I supposed to marry you?” (i.e. become a sister), you can imagine God saying, “How about we spend a little time together?” Authentic discernment flows from relationship.

Love Comes First If you are wondering if you are supposed to become a sister, let’s put “supposed to” aside and talk about love. Love comes first. Do you know God loves you? Do you know it in your heart, in the core of your being?

The God who loves you wants only your good, your happiness, and your joy. Do you trust Him?

Developing A Daily Personal Prayer Time All of this points to beginning to take a daily personal prayer time if you are not doing so already. In order to grow in your relationship with God – Father, Son and Holy Spirit – you must spend time together. Prayer is being with God. Just as there are many different ways to be with your 4

other friends and family members, so it is with God. You can be with Him in the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass, in the reading of the Scriptures, by talking with Him in your own words, by “psalms and inspired songs,” by pondering, meditation and using your imagination, by journaling, or by being with Him in silence. Through spending time with God you will grow in friendship with Him. It is through growing in His friendship that you will be able to discern your life’s vocation. Very often this is a revelation which occurs little by little, step by step. Sometimes God chooses to reveal the whole plan at once in a single grace-filled “flash,” but more often the realization of a call dawns like growing light in the morning sky. Whether your vocation becomes clear instantaneously or slowly over time is up to God. As for our part, we must learn the art of listening. The two times we hear God the Father speak in the Gospels, at the Baptism of Jesus and at the Transfiguration, He is instructing us to listen to Jesus. “This is my beloved Son, listen to Him,” says God the Father to us.

The following are a few tips for growing in the discipline of listening, which is essential to growing in prayer: •

Listening requires an interior stillness. First we must be still externally (sitting in a comfortable position in a quiet place without distractions), and then slowly we can gain an inner tranquility and peace which enables us to listen to God.

•

Learn to deal simply with distractions. When you discover that your mind has wandered during prayer, turn your mind and heart back to God and think no more about it. When your mind wanders again, turn your gaze back to God again. Do not get discouraged; you will spend your life turning your mind and heart back to God when it wanders.

•

When using the Scriptures to pray, choose a passage, read it slowly, pausing frequently. Reading the inspired word of God is 5

not like reading anything else, even other good spiritual reading.

•

Reflect as you go through your day on what you see, hear, feel, think and desire. God speaks to us through the ordinary people, circumstances and events that make up our day.

•

Listen very attentively when participating in the Holy Mass.

The Mass is the highest form of prayer we have, it is unlike any other human experience and God frequently makes use of the priest, the prayers and the readings to speak to us personally.

Praying With Scripture: The Ignatian Method Step 1: Decide how long your prayer period will be and then be faithful to the amount of time you decide on. Find a quiet place to pray where you won’t be interrupted. Settle into a quiet, recollected mindset. Place yourself in the presence of God, perhaps with the sign of the cross and a prayer to the Holy Spirit.

Step 2: Ask for the grace that you seek. For example: “I pray for the grace to know and trust God as a loving Father.”

“I pray for the grace to know and believe in the love God has for me.”

“I pray for the grace to grow in a genuine trusting relationship with the God who loves me.”

“I pray for the grace to know what God wants me to do and for the courage to do it.”

Step 3: Read through the Scripture passage you selected to pray with, perhaps the Gospel read at daily Mass or a passage selected for help in discernment. Read the Scripture again to familiarize yourself with the passage and to create the scene in your mind’s eye.

Step 4: Use your imagination and place yourself in the scene. Let your imagination go and allow the story to unfold. Let the Lord speak directly to you using the Scriptures. Try to pray with the heart, not just the mind.

Repeat steps 3 and 4 for the amount of prayer time you decided upon.

Step 5: Have a heart-to-heart conversation with Our Lady, or Jesus, or the Father, or the Holy Spirit about whatever is coming up in your prayer.

Step 6: End your prayer time with an Our Father or another prayer.

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Step 7: After your prayer time is over, either immediately or later on, it is a good practice to review your prayer. This means thinking back over your prayer time and asking the question, “What happened during prayer?” “What were the feelings that stirred during prayer?” “Did I receive the grace I prayed for?” Many people find it helpful to write the results of their review of prayer in a journal. The prayer journal then becomes a very helpful aid in preparing for your meeting with your spiritual director.

These steps are based loosely on the steps for Ignatian Prayer written by Fr. John Wickham, SJ (1927-2010)

Accompaniment It is important when discerning a vocation to have a competent person as spiritual guide along the way. None of us is meant to be on this journey alone. Perhaps you know a priest whom you respect and trust, or maybe you know a religious sister you can speak with. One reason this is important is because some of the questions which arise during your discernment can be easily answered by simply asking. For example, Veronica became concerned early on in her discernment. She realized that even though she was feeling called to give her life entirely to God as a religious sister, she was still feeling attracted to the married life. She also remembered that ever since she was a small girl playing with her dolls, she had imagined herself becoming a mother someday. When the sister with whom Veronica was speaking regularly told her how normal her desires were, she began to realize that when God places a desire for one thing (religious life) in our hearts, He doesn’t remove other desires. The

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question is not so much, “Am I attracted to marriage and children,” as “Is God calling me to something else?” Having a religious sister as a guide during her discernment process helped Veronica realize that some of our desires are meant to be fulfilled and others will go unfulfilled, or will be fulfilled in a way she never dreamed of. In discernment we are trying to get at the deepest desires of our heart because it is God who placed them there.

Another reason accompaniment is important in the discernment process, and in growing in the spiritual life in general, is because when you have to articulate to someone else what’s going on inside, it often helps you understand yourself better and what God is doing inside of you. The person who is accompanying you becomes like a mirror reflecting a clear image of yourself back to you. And like looking in a mirror, you often see something that you didn’t know was there.

The Six-Month Discernment Challenge For a person who does feel those initial stirrings of the heart, that first whisper or tug that could perhaps be a call, time is needed to discern well.

It takes time in prayer, time thinking, time speaking and asking questions to proceed from a mere question, to clarity, to a decision. However, even though time is required for this process to unfold, it is not helpful to be in a vague, unending state of discernment. You might consider setting aside a fixed time for discerning whether you are called to religious life or not. If you are in high school or college, six months might be an adequate time. By setting a fixed time, it is not that you are testing God or placing a time limit on your availability to Him. It is so that you can fully enter into a time dedicated to praying and learning about the vocation and even take concrete steps like visiting one or more communities.

It is not helpful to be in a dating relationship and to try to discern religious life at the same time. Dating is for the purpose of discerning the vocation of marriage. Those who discern by being vaguely “open to God’s will,” discerning religious life while being open to dating too, often drag out their discernment and confuse themselves in the process.

(There’s a good chance of confusing the boyfriend as well). Moreover, our emotions are powerful, and if you are in a romantic relationship, you cannot be emotionally free to be truly open to religious life. If you have ever been in love, you know what I am talking about. If you date

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and discern religious life at the same time, get ready for an emotional roller-coaster and perhaps a bit more drama than hoped for!

If you set aside six months for discerning religious life, here are some ideas that could make your discernment time fruitful: • Pray specifically about your call, that is, talk to the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit from the heart about God’s plan for your life and your desires, hopes and fears.

• Participate frequently in the Holy Mass, adoration and the Sacrament of Reconciliation.

• Talk with your spiritual director. If your director is not a religious, it would be a good idea to find a religious sister to whom you could ask your specific questions.

• Read about religious life and discernment.

• Identify a few communities (3-5) that you are attracted to and make a step to reach out and contact the vocations director for the community.

• Be open to receiving the guidance given to you. Discernment is a two-way street; the community is discerning the will of God just as you are. They are asking, “Lord, are You sending us this person? Is she called here? Will she grow in holiness and become the saint she is meant to be by living this charism with us?” Perhaps the vocation director will ask you to take certain steps before entering or going further in your relationship with the community. Take this guidance seriously. She is trying to help you get where God is calling you.

• Visit communities that invite you to a “Come and See.” Some things you can only know by experience.

At the end of six months, you will most likely have a good sense of whether you should stop discerning religious life for now or continue discerning with a specific community with a view to entering.

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Our Blessed Mother Our Blessed Mother wants to help you discover God’s will for your life. If you ask for her assistance you will certainly receive it. Devotion to Our Lady is a secret to the spiritual life that all the saints have discovered. Begin a relationship with Our Lady today if you have not already! You will not be sorry!

Prayers to Our Lady Blessed be Your Purity Blessed be your purity, may it be blessed forever, for no less than God takes delight in such exalted beauty.

To you, heavenly princess, holy Virgin Mary I offer on this day my whole heart, life, and soul.

Look upon me with compassion; do not leave me, my Mother.

Consecration to the Blessed Virgin O Mary, my Queen and my Mother, I give myself entirely to you, and to show my devotion to you, I consecrate to you this day, my eyes, my ears, my mouth, my heart, my whole being without reserve.

Wherefore, good Mother, as I am your own, keep me and guard me as your property and possession. Amen.

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Commonly Asked Questions How do I know which community is best for me?

This is a matter of the heart, just like dating. You don’t try to date every boy – you date the one you’re attracted to. Pick out a few communities you feel attracted to and take one step at a time in your discernment of them. Walk through the doors as they open. Remember it is a mutual discernment: it has to be right for you and it has to be right for them too.

When you have found the right place, you’ll know it, you’ll feel at home.

What do I do if I have college debt?

Most communities require their candidates to be debt-free. It maybe necessary to work for a time to eliminate your financial debt. Also, there are organizations that were founded to help young people become debt-free so that they can enter religious life. (Mater Ecclesiae and Labouré Society) What if my parents do not approve?

Oftentimes parents struggle with their child’s decision to pursue a religious vocation. Your parents have their own journey to make with this discernment process. Most parents, even those who struggle at first, are content to see that their child is happy and at peace. Ultimately though, you are not responsible for your parents’ feelings.

Will I be able to see my family?

Yes, most communities allow for family visits. The customs for this vary from community to community.

What about this feeling of unworthiness?

It is not helpful to your growth in the spiritual life to get caught up on the question of worthiness. No one is worthy, period. God chooses as He wills. He alone is worthy. He is entitled to choose the weak and the lowly according to His own mysterious design.

What about sins of my past?

It is important to have had a conversion from the past life of sin and to have lived a virtuous life for an extended period of time in the world before attempting to enter religious life. Religious life can be compared to running a marathon. You don’t start out doing 26 miles, you start slow, you train, you work up to it.

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What if I enter and then later decide that it isn’t for me? Can I leave?

The choice for the religious life must be a free one. Every sister should be encouraged to continue to discern anew at every step. Is this what God wants? Is this what I want? Can I do this?

Often, profession of final vows doesn’t come until seven or more years in the community.

That gives you plenty of time to be certain.

If I give up marriage and children can I be truly happy?

The call to religious life requires the renunciation of marriage and children and this is a true sacrifice; however, the sister is not sacrificing being a spouse and mother. She is espoused to God and her maternal gift is meant to bear fruit in a spiritual motherhood. Ultimately, doing God’s will is the surest way to happiness, fulfillment, and peace.

What are the stages of becoming a sister?

The initial stages vary from community to community. Women’s religious communities have a one or two year novitiate which is the canonical beginning of the religious life. After the novitiate comes first profession of vows which are renewed over several years before making final profession of poverty, chastity and obedience.

What do sisters do every day?

Our way of life consists of three staples: prayer, community, and apostolate. The daily schedule will vary from community to community, but should always consist of Mass, Liturgy of the Hours (at least Morning Prayer, Evening Prayer and Night Prayer), meals together, work, study, and recreation.

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In His Will Is Your Peace Remember when you were little and wondered how tall you were going to be when you grew up—or what you would look like? Then you looked at your older sister, your mother, or your grandmother and you got a pretty good idea. And perhaps you know the experience of working hard at sports to reach the potential that your coach was certain you had within you, or studying hard to be the best student you could be. Some will be great athletes—but not all. Some will be great scholars—but not all. But all of us, yes, every single person, has within them the potential to be a great saint. It does not depend on gifts, talents, or genetics. It depends on God’s gift of grace and on your loving response. If you discover that God is calling you to be a religious sister, it is because this is the way He has marked out for you—for your joy, for your sanctification and for His glory. If He is calling you, be generous, say “Yes.” In His will is your peace.

This booklet made possible by the Serra Foundation.

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Scriptures to Pray with While Discerning Old Testament Abraham: Gen 12:1-4a Moses: Ex 3:10-12, 4:1, 10-12 Amos: Amos 7:14-15 Isaiah: Is 6:8 Jeremiah: Jer 1:4-8 Ezekiel: Ez 3:1-4 Kings: 1 Kings 10

New Testament Night in Prayer: Lk 6:12‐15 The Twelve: Mk 3:13‐15 Rich Young Man: Lk 18:15‐30 Requirements: Lk 9:57‐62 The Cross: Mt 16:25‐28 Temptation: Lk 4:1‐13 Martha & Mary: Lk 10:38‐42 Seek First: Lk 12:22‐31 What Matters: Phil 1: 9‐10 All Things Work for Good: Rom 8: 26‐31

Reading List Discerning The Will of God, by Fr. Timothy Gallagher, OMI When God Asks for an Undivided Heart, by Fr. Andrew Apostoli, CFR The Meaning of Vocation in the Words of Pope Paul II: Published by Scepter, 1997 Called To Be Holy, by Timothy Cardinal Dolan “And You are Christ’s”: The Charism of Virginity and the Celibate Life, by Fr. Thomas Dubay A Right to be Merry, by Mother Mary Francis, PCC

Resources Council of Major Superiors of Women Religious - CMSWR.org Mater Ecclesiae – fundforvocations.org Labouré Society – labouresociety.org Imagine Sisters – imaginesisters.org Books by Fr. Timothy Gallagher – frtimothygallagher.org/books

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Further Reading

DISCERNING

Religious Life SISTER CLARE MATTHIASS, CFR

A new book to help women move from discernment to decision

Available at vianneyvocations.com

As the Vocation Director for the Franciscan Sisters of the Renewal, Sister Clare Matthiass, CFR, has worked with hundreds of young women who felt called to religious life. Discerning Religious Life distills her wisdom into clear advice, especially for women who are struggling to discover their vocations. Filled with humorous anecdotes and poignant stories of her 20 years as a sister, Discerning Religious Life is easy to read and contains rock-solid guidance based on the wisdom of the saints. 220pp. $20

“Great wisdom.”

“I absolutely loved it!”

“What a gift!”

Cardinal Timothy Dolan

Sr. Peter Marie, OP Nashville Dominicans

Anne Brawley, Youth 2000 USA

“A VOCATION IS A RESPONSE TO A CALL, A CALL OF LOVE.” ~ POPE FRANCIS

Photos: Page 5: Carmelite Sisters of the Most Sacred Heart of Los Angeles; Page 7: Salesian Sisters of St. John Bosco; Page 9: Dominican Sisters of Hawthorne; Page 11: Poor Clare Missionary Sisters of the Blessed Sacrament; Page 12: Dominican Sisters of St. Cecilia, The Catholic Review; Page 13: The Sisters of Life; Back Cover: CFR Sisters and Missionaries of Charity, by Jeanine Roufs; Special thanks to Rosann Mucciolo for the original layout.

©2017 Sr. Clare Matthiass, CFR franciscansisterscfr.com

Special thanks to the Serra Foundation for donating copies of this booklete to be given out at Steubenville Conferences.

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