FOMO Issue 13

FOMO ISSUE #13

where the wild things are

THE THE BEST BEST OF OF THE THE VILLAGE VILLAGE

“Motherhood is an extreme sport... That’s why we ha ve to wear workout clothes every da y.”

I remember a July holiday a few years ago after a term when my littlest boy had been bullied relentlessly at school.

He took an autonomous decision to take up boxing and requested – firmly – that I find him a boxing coach.

That holiday, while all his friends played Minecraft or went on playdates with the bully (for that is the jungle that is primary school), he went to a basement gym in Sea Point and learnt to box with the wonderful Shepherd Sithole (065 903 8845).

He sweated through those sessions.

Shepherd makes his sessions fun, but they are extremely hard work too.

On the first day back at school, my kid asked the bully, “What did you do during the holidays?” Whether the kid answered him or not, I don’t know, but he continued, “I went to the gym and learned to box. If you ever touch me or try to bully me again, I will knock you out. I’ve discussed it with my parents, and they agree.”

Suffice to say that child never laid a finger on him again.

building my children into the people they are beginning to be. Wonderful adults are much needed in a child’s life.

As parents we can’t stop awful things happening to our children. We can neither protect them from – nor really prepare them for – the shambles of it all. But we (and other good people) CAN catch them. Collectively, the good humans can patch our youngsters up after the wrecking ball of life smashes into or even badly grazes them, as it inevitably will. Just as our children will encounter bullies (and worse), they will also encounter role models, willing arms, and adult human rocks to cling to. I’m so proud that through this Village we are a fierce and loving army of 45 000 for ALL our children. Keep ducking and diving, keep your left hook at the ready, but your arms outstretched too, fellow warriors. It takes a Village.

With love,

And, nerdy chess geek that my boy remains, equipped with a useful left hook and robust self-confidence, neither has any other bully dared to since.

I can’t say thank you enough to Sherps for these gifts. Or recommend him enough.

But he is only one of the many exceptional people who have played crucial parts in

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Vanessa T

h monis  1658 posts th...  46 345 comments  45 440 members  182 572 likes & comments

FOMO #13

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SHOUTOUT

T O REAL DADS

This heartfelt post from Villager Melanie drew an outpouring of love and praise for all the awesome men out there who have stepped up to fatherhood and the true meaning of family

“I feel this. I was 12 when my mom met my dad. He walked me down the aisle at my wedding. My little brother is my little brother. Not half. People don't get it. But he stepped up.” – Chané Wolmarans “This is so beautiful, Mel. Love is thicker than blood.” – Janet Beverley

“The person doesn’t need your blood to be your family. It’s who showed up, stayed and is present!” – Lynda Turner Coulentianos

“In our culture there is no half, step, adopted, once-removed etc... it eliminates a lot of unnecessary drama and ensures everyone feels like a full part of the family...” – Ayanda Sisulu “Blood only makes you related.

Genetically. Family is a whole other story.”

– Alexa Groenewald

“Your post is 100%. I never saw my stepdad as anything other than my real dad. As wonderful as any father could be.” – Francesca Paine Ashburner

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FOMO #13

V IL LAG E R EC O M

M EN D ED

‘How can I get rid of dark circles under my eyes?’

Marlene Van Rooyen reckons she looks like a raccoon and asked for your help.

Here are your tried-andtested recommendations:

44 WAYS WAYS you can hel p your

teen deal with s tress

• Karus Prickly Pear Seed Oil • Iron supplements • Jade roller • Bobbi Brown Under Eye Concealer • Mesoestetic Periocular Peel followed by eye micro-needling

As parents we have an important role to play in helping our children cope when they’re feeling under pressure. These useful tips from the American Psychological Association will help you teach your teen healthy stress-management skills.

1

Model healthy coping. Share your experiences with your teen – explain how you have thought about and dealt with your own stressful situations.

2

Let your teens be problem-solvers. We all want to swoop in and sort things out when we see our children are stressing.

However, try give your teen time to examine their low-stakes problems (step in when they’re biggies) and think about solutions, then talk through these solutions with them. This way they’ll learning healthy coping skills and gain confidence that they can deal with stressors and setbacks.

BREAKING NEWS

3

Promote media literacy. Today’s teens spend a lot of time online and are exposed to questionable content, cyberbullying and immense peer pressure.

Take the time to teach your child to be digitally savvy consumers, and limit screen time.

Schengen visa applications to move online in 2025.

Anyone who knows the stress of the dreaded process will be doing cartwheels!

4

Combat negative thinking. It is easy for teens to fall into the trap of negative thinking. “My hair is horrible” or “I’m useless at maths”. Next time you hear your child putting themselves down, don’t just disagree. Instead, engage with them about whether they really think what they are saying is true, and highlight positive experiences or the times they have tried and improved. Learning to frame things positively will help them develop resilience to stress.

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FOMO #13

FAB NEW READS Winter weekends and cold nights are made for curling up with a good book. We know you’ll love these.

FOR LAZY WEEKENDS

It’s 1958 and It-girl Vivienne George escapes to the lush rainforest of tropical North Queensland where she spends her days swimming in the beautiful Lake Evelyn. But when she learns how a drowning spawned a curse that has plagued the girls of the town ever since, things start to unravel.

The Girls of Lake Evelyn by Averil Kenny (R340, Bonnier) FOR WELLNESS SEEKERS

You might know Jessie Inchaspé from her popular Instagram account @glucosegoddess. This book offers science-based hacks on how to reduce glucose in your system to help you lose weight, stop cravings and up your energy.

The Glucose Revolution by Jessie Inchaspé (R31, Octopus) FOR WINTER NIGHTS

This is a powerful, moving read inspired by real events.

Set in Alabama in 1973, Civil Townsend’s world is forever changed when she becomes a nurse at the Montgomery Family Planning Clinic.

Take My Hand by Dolen Perkins-Valdez (R355, Orion)

FOR COUPLES

By sharing his own story and experience, Matthew Fray offers advice on how to save your relationship and avoid divorce.

This Is How Your Marriage Ends by Matthew Fray (R36, Profile) FOR SHEILA O’FLANAGAN FANS

Eden faces an impossible choice after her husband, Andy, dies and she meets someone from her past.

Does she risk her and her daughter’s relationship with Andy’s family or pursue the prospect of renewed happiness?

What Eden Did Next by Sheila O’Flanagan (R355, Headline) FOR HOPELESS ROMANTICS

This new novel from the author of the best-seller, The Flat Share, is refreshing, clever and deliciously romantic. Three women have romantic rendezvous set for Valentine’s Day, but their dates never pitch…

The No-Show by Beth O’Leary (R355, Quercus) Alt School Options

Crimson Global Academy

Experienced teachers, internationally recognised course work and curricula plus a range of extra curricular activities, including arts and technology, are some of the standout qualities of this online high school. Highly experienced teachers, real time classes and engaging learning methods and a focus on online socialisation with fellow students are part of the Crimson experience. Click here for more.

“Parenting is soup and I am a fork.”

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FOMO #13

PERFECTLY GIFTED!

When Villager Tracey Burnett put a call out asking for ideas on what to add to her “18 gifts” box for her son’s 18th birthday, you sent through so many fab suggestions.

Tracey posted her final gift list – we love it! We’ve no doubt lots of us will be stealing this idea, Tracey!

1 18 x Hot Chocolate (for comfort) 1.

2 18 x Condoms (so you’re always safe) 2.

3 18 x Sweets (cause you’re always sweet) 3.

4 18 x Pens (so you can start writing your book) 4.

5 18 x Kit Kats (for when you need a break) 5.

6 18 x Lollipops (for when life sucks) 6.

7 18 x Marbles (for when you lose your marbles) 7.

8 18 x Regmaakers (for a big night out) 8.

9 18 x Gum (to freshen your breath) 9.

10 10. 18 x Panado (for the morning after the night before) 11 18 x Plasters (to mend a broken heart) 11.

12 12. R180 (for a meal) 13 $18 (for our trip to the USA) 13.

14 14. R18 (for when you need a snack) 15 15. 18 x Pick-Up lines (to help with the love life) 16 16. 18 x Lotto Tickets (hopefully it’s your lucky day) 17 18 x Vouchers for hugs (ror when you’re 17. feeling blue) 18 18. 18 x Photos of each birthday (how you made it to 18)

V IL LAG E R EC O M

M EN D ED

‘Where can I download worksheets and past exam papers?’

Here’s what you recommended when Ansu Flügel asked for help for her son’s exam prep:

“E-classroom. co.za is excellent. I use it all the time for worksheets and past exam papers. It has all the memos as well. Annual subscription is very reasonable.

They follow the CAPS syllabus.”

– Christy Wheeler

“Tom Newby School posts past exam papers online.” – Nadine Coral Visser

“Study Champ also has worksheets and test papers you can use to practise. All exercises are designed by teachers.”

– Lisa Mansfield

“I recommend worksheetcloud. com.”

– Ayanda Sisulu 07

FOMO #13

VINTAGE KASHAN Ivory

Epiphany Rugs addresses the changing retail landscape and the growing demand for mid-range, cost-effective rugs in South Africa.

PIMP YOUR

BAKED POTATO Baked potatoes are the best winter comfort food – and they’re budget-friendly too To cook, prick large potatoes then place directly on your oven rack and cook for around one hour at 200°C. You could do them in your airfryer too – they’ll take around 40 minutes. Try these delish fillings:

Tuna + mayo + lime zest + coriander

Sour cheese + grated cheddar cheese + spring onions

Baked beans + bacon

Black olives + mozzarella + red pepper + chopped tinned tomatoes

Mince + chilli + black beans

Epiphany Rugs

Known for their magnificent custom designed and imported exotic rugs, Cape Town decor icon Gonsenhauser has developed their off-the-peg range of Epiphany Rugs for the home decor and interiors market. From that neutral rug that you know your home needs or on trend patterns to brighten up any space -simply choose your shape, size and pattern and your rug will soon be on its way to you – also listed on PayJustNow, where you get three months, interest-free to pay. Click here to shop.

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FOMO #13

N OT E TO SELF

V IL LAG E R EC O M

M EN D ED

‘How can I teach my kid how to study when they're really bad at it’

It isn’t just us adults who are able to impart wisdom to teens.

Sometimes, if we open our hearts and minds enough, they can teach us valuable lessons too… Thank you to this anonymous Villager who shared her experience and gave us a gentle reminder nudge.

Dear Village,

Concentration isn’t a problem when it comes to Minecraft, but schoolwork? Not so much. Here are your top suggestions: “Mindmapping really helped me. I did them by hand, but here’s an option where you can use special software. If he’s into computers, this could be the perfect solution… at least one of them: mindmapping.com.” – Darryl Egnal “One of my son's friends went on a course that taught him how to study better. It’s called elevatecoach.info.”

– Andrea Dixon

Today I learned a lesson from a teenager.

I stood in the queue in the grocery store awaiting my turn. I glanced at the teen cashier behind the register and my overly critical mind wished that said teen would push back the lanky hair that was almost entirely obscuring their face. I may have rolled my eyes, internally of course.

When it was my turn to be served, I was greeted politely and began to unpack my trolley and more closely observe the cashier. They were new to the job and so nervous and soft-spoken that the enquiries about how my day had been and what plans I had for the weekend, pulled a little at my heartstrings.

I noticed that the name on the name tag and my pre-conceived idea of this teen's gender did not correlate. I also noticed, as they nervously observed my purchases and made product suggestions that they thought I would enjoy, the cut marks on their upper arms where their shirtsleeves occasionally moved up.

I began to realise that the more I chatted and smiled, the more I saw of the lovely person hiding behind that curtain of hair. More importantly, I noticed how I had, at first glance, judged a sweet and fragile teen without even a second thought.

Today I learned the value and importance of treating all the people I encounter with courage, humility and respect. Today I Learned this from a teenager because this is how they treated me.

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“Kip McGrath Tutoring Centre Constantia does a study skills course – 10 hours and very thorough.”

– Lilly Hayward

“My son uses Quizlet and it works for him.” – Marisa Wilson “Life Coach Shannon Schutte in Cape Town specialises in this field.”

– Gail Biernacki

“I am a teacher and find tutor2u excellent.” – Linda Wilson

E DU B O O S T Based in Cape Town, this

Alt School Options

independent school caters for kids who are stressed by the structures of an unforgiving one-size-fits-all school system. They focus on a nurturing and inclusive environment with a strong focus on creating an individualised experience based on each child’s specific needs.

Click here for more.

T E N E O Flexibility, accountability, parental

monitoring and live lessons are just some of the elements that make this Teneo an obvious option for children and families on the move, those who want to drive their own schooling experience and who want an online education option with high levels of accountability. Live lessons in a structured environment (choose from SA School and International school curricula) plus a pool of over 450 teachers ensures a quality online learning experience.

Click here for more.

FOMO #13

BURNING QUESTION One thing’s for sure – you’ve all got a great sense of humour! Thanks for the post, Taryn Dekel, and making us smile (and hold our noses!)

king a e p s e r ll you’ e t n a c We rience! e p x e from

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FOMO #13

V IL LAG E R EC O M

M EN D ED

"Any tips for taming long, thick, frizzy hair?"

• “My teens love their curls (long, thick hair).

They only use nourishing sulphate/paraben/ silicone-free products, and we do a Botox treatment 2 to 3 times per year to keep it manageable and healthy. Botox doesn’t take away the curl or volume, but does help with the frizz/tangles.” – Lamees Achmat • “There is a great product called Kinky muk Curl Amplifier – it takes away the frizz.”

– Hayley Scott-Papayannis

• “I do not like a Brazilian as it makes my hair very straight with no volume and no ability to make soft curls. I now use Botox and it removes frizz while still allowing soft controlled waves.” – Lisa D’Oliviera • “I used to have very frizzy hair and now I mostly have curls. I follow the Curly Girl Alt School Options

method – those parts that work for me: no sulphates; no drying alcohols; no brushing; apply curl cream to very wet hair and ‘plop’ it up in a t-shirt to absorb extra water before air drying; and deep condition at least 3 times a month.

• I mainly use IntrinsiCurly Me and Cantu products and only need to wash about once every 5 days.”

– Brigitte Williams

55 FUN FUN popcorn s easonings

Think Digital Academy

Popcorn is the healthiest, yummiest, cheapest snack ever – especially if you make it the oldfashioned way in a pot! Take yours to the next level with these homemade seasonings.

To help the seasoning stick to the popcorn, spray it lightly with olive oil.

For children on the move, prefer the flexibility of online learning and who want the option of uninterrupted learning at their own pace.

• British International, American GED, SA CAPS • Weekly deliverables and reports • Online tutor support and coaching hubs • Student forum for interaction • Coding & robotics courses Click here for more

• Dorito: garlic powder + onion powder + cumin + paprika + chilli powder + salt • Coconut curry: desiccated coconut + curry powder + salt • Cinnabon: cinnamon + icing sugar + salt • Gingerbread: cinnamon + icing sugar + ground ginger + ground cloves • Chilli Choc: cocoa powder + icing sugar + cayenne pepper + cinnamon + salt

“A teenager is always too tired to hold a dishcloth but never to tired to hold a phone.”

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FOMO #13