Bar•Bat Mitzvah Fall/Winter 2017

The Cleveland Jewish News

Mitzvah Bar•Bat

BARBATMAGAZINE.COM

FALL • WINTER 2017

Defining Moment

From stories of Clevelanders’ b’nai mitzvah to helpful party planning insight, everything you need to know about this special simcha is inside

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Mitzvah Bar•Bat

Fall•Winter 2017

Contents

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The Cleveland Jewish News

Mitzvah Bar•Bat

BARBATMAGAZINE.COM

16

FALL • WINTER 2017

Defining Moment

From stories of Clevelanders’ b’nai mitzvah to helpful party planning insight, everything you need to know about this special simcha is inside

Cover photo courtesy of New Image Photography

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6

Better late than never

Editor Michael C. Butz discusses the beauty of second chances, especially as they relate to b’nai mitzvah

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Looking Back

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22

Ask A Pro

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Savvy site selections

Planning tips from Northeast Ohio professionals about catering, stationery, floral, entertainment, photography and synagogues

Locations across Northeast Ohio offer b’nai mitzvah celebrations planning help and plenty of options for fun

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Planning perfection

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Marking the occasion

Northeast Ohioans recall their bar or bat mitzvah – and the preparation that led up to the big day

Party professionals say that it all comes down to a cohesive plan

Giving meaningful gifts can add to b’nai mitzvah memories

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Coming of age

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Entertainment establishments

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Bar•Bat Mitzvah Planner

For two groups of Clevelanders who celebrated their b’nai mitzvah as adults, it’s been better late than never

Northeast Ohio is home to venues that offer numerous options for amusement and enjoyment

Map out planning for your son or daughter’s bar or bat mitzvah with the help of this handy planner

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Banking on the future

Monetary b’nai mitzvah gifts offer children the opportunity to learn about saving and spending

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BETTER LATE THAN NEVER L

Mitzvah Bar•Bat

President & CEO Kevin S. Adelstein Vice President of Sales Adam Mandell

ife sometimes gives you a second chance. Anyone who’s maybe said the wrong thing at the wrong time or perhaps failed to accomplish an important goal can likely appreciate the general truth behind that old adage – and thankfully, it applies to situations and events more consequential than minor missteps or the occasional foot-in-mouth folly.

Take, for example, the second chances received in the wake of the hurricanes that ravaged parts of the southern U.S. As harrowing stories of life and property lost dominated headlines, filled our social media timelines and overtook newscasts, heartwarming accounts of kindness and generosity also trickled in.

Among them was a story about a bar mitzvah in Houston nearly canceled by Hurricane Harvey.

Adam Buchsbaum thought his bar mitzvah was washed because Harvey forced his temple, Congregation Beth Israel, to close, according to The Forward.

The family went to another synagogue, Congregation Beth Yeshurun, to support a friend of Adam’s who was also having a bar mitzvah that day. It turned out there were two services going on, and thanks to a congregant they met, Adam’s became the third. In the new minyan, he was able to read his Torah portion, his parents were given aliyot and congregants threw candy at the young man.

“This just shows that no matter what shul you go to, we are all one family, we are all Israel … and we take care of each other,” the congregant reportedly said to those gathered, referring to the importance of carrying on with tradition despite the circumstances, according to The Forward.

Undoubtedly, the Buchsbaum family was thankful for its second chance that day.

As I read our feature story for this issue of Bar•Bat Mitzvah, I couldn’t help but feel a parallel

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Bar•Bat Mitzvah // Fall•Winter 2017

existed between that second chance in Houston and some taking place here in Northeast Ohio.

In her story on Page 16, Alyssa Schmitt reports on adult b’nai mitzvah classes at Park Synagogue East in Pepper Pike and Judson Park in Cleveland Heights, which of course aren’t the only local institutions to host such classes. In fact, earlier this year, our sister publication, the Cleveland Jewish News, reported on adult b’nai mitzvah classes at The Temple-Tifereth Israel in Beachwood and B’nai Jeshurun Congregation in Pepper Pike. (Visit bit.ly/2yv6gIL to read that story.)

As Schmitt’s story suggests, those who have their bar or bat mitzvah later in life often do so because they were unable to when they came of age; had the opportunity to do so but chose not to; or are Jews by choice.

Whatever the case may be, adult b’nai mitzvah classes offer them a second chance to take part in this meaningful milestone. Further, adult b’nai mitzvah participants likely have an appreciation for and understanding of what they missed, making the ceremony – and the learning and bonding that take place in the preceding months – all the more special.

Also in this issue, you’ll find all the expert insight and useful advice from local businesses you’ve come to expect from Bar•Bat Mitzvah – which should prove helpful whether this is your first time planning a bar or bat mitzvah or your second (or third).

Editor Michael C. Butz mbutz@cjn.org Senior Designer Stephen Valentine CJN Managing Editor Bob Jacob Controller Tracy DiDomenico Digital Marketing Manager Rebecca Fellenbaum Events Manager Gina Lloyd Editorial Ed Carroll Amanda Koehn Becky Raspe Alyssa Schmitt Custom Publishing Manager Paul Bram Sales & Marketing Manager Andy Isaacs Advertising Marcia Bakst Marilyn Evans Ron Greenbaum Adam Jacob Nell V. Kirman Sherry Tilson Design Lillian Messner Jessica Simon Digital Content Producer Abbie Murphy Business & Circulation Diane Adams Tammie Crawford Abby Royer Yoda Newton Editorial Intern Alec Slovenec Subscriber Services 216-342-5185/circulation@cjn.org Display Advertising 216-342-5191 adsales@cjn.org

VOL. 141 NO. 50 CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS (ISSN-00098825) is published weekly with additional issues in January, March, May, June, August, October, November and December by The Cleveland Jewish Publication Company at 23880 Commerce Park, Suite 1, Cleveland, OH 44122-5380. Single copy $1.25. Periodicals Postage paid at Cleveland, OH., and additional mailing offices. POSTMASTER and additional mailing offices. Send address changes to the Cleveland Jewish News, 23880 Commerce Park, Suite 1, Cleveland, OH 44122-5380

LOOKING BACK

Northeast Ohioans recall their bar or bat mitzvah – and the preparation that led up to the big day

ALVIE MARKOWITZ

Co-owner, Jack’s Deli and Restaurant

Alvie Markowitz Alvie Markowitz, then 13, lights the candles at his 1970 bar mitzvah.

By Amanda Koehn

A

lvie Markowitz’s Dec. 27, 1970 bar mitzvah came at a busy time in his family’s life. One of his older brothers had just gotten married, the other would marry soon after the bar mitzvah and Markowitz had just celebrated his 13th birthday weeks before.

However, the abundance of lifecycle engagements didn’t prevent his extended family from showing up for

the bar mitzvah at the former Marmaresher Jewish Center in Cleveland Heights and the party that followed. Markowitz

Alvie Markowitz with his parents, Jack and Lili Markowitz, and younger cousin Leah Mandel at the party portion of his bar mitzvah at the then-Academy Party Center in Cleveland Heights.

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Bar•Bat Mitzvah // Fall•Winter 2017

says he had between 150 and 200 guests, most of whom were family. Consequently, only about four or five friends attended.

“Not too many because our family was so huge,” he says.

“You didn’t invite the whole class.”

Growing up attending the Orthodox synagogue whose congregation consisted largely of Holocaust survivors and their families, Markowitz says the learning portion of bar mitzvah preparation was intense. He says he was a little nervous for the day, but seeing his two brothers go through it and his father’s comfort with public speaking helped him take it in stride.

“Usually, in my family, we like to stand up in front of microphones,” he says.

Markowitz says his family identified as Modern Orthodox and defined that as being Orthodox “in a way of praying,” yet they typically drove to synagogue during Shabbat (but not on the High Holy Days).

However, he says his rabbi, Rabbi Jules Lipschutz, requested that the night before the bar mitzvah, Markowitz sleep at his aunt’s home, which was closer to the synagogue, because he didn’t want him being driven there the next morning.

After the religious portion, Markowitz, had lunch at the rabbi’s home, and then the party began. He remembers a band played orchestra-style

music and that dinner included roasted half-chicken. He also remembers that every man in his family wore brown tuxedos, and that at some point, someone might’ve handed him a glass of whiskey to drink.

Moreover, he didn’t mind that it was mostly family – some of his cousins were his best friends, and the family was close knit.

“It was a lot of years ago, but it was a lot of fun,” he says.

He says although his parents, Jack and Lili Markowitz, who were Holocaust survivors, had already seen his brothers go through the bar mitzvah process, his was nonetheless special to them.

“They were very proud of the fact that they were on their third bar mitzvah – their third son – and they were proud to see me become a man,” he says.

Markowitz, his brother, Harry, and father later founded Jack’s Deli and Restaurant in University Heights, and Markowitz is now co-owner. The Marmaresher Jewish Center later moved and became Green Road Synagogue in Beachwood. His father died in 2002.

Although Markowitz is no longer Modern Orthodox – he now belongs to both B’nai Jeshurun Congregation, a Conservative synagogue in Pepper Pike, and the Temple Israel Ner Tamid, a reform synagogue in Mayfield Heights – he says learning for the bar mitzvah in the “Orthodox way” helped him become active in Jewish life as he grew up.

“It gave me the whole basis for my Judaism today,” he says.

BM

Sedgewicke Studio Above: Kenny Kurland with his father Corky Kurland, sister Susan Kurland (Rapkin), and mother Gloria Kurland at his 1976 bar mitzvah.

Left: Kenny Kurland with the dry ice machine at his bar mitzvah party.

KENNY KURLAND

Co-owner, Corky & Lenny’s

By Amanda Koehn

A

s Kenny Kurland reflects on his Dec. 11, 1976 bar mitzvah, memories of a day he hasn’t thought about in some time slowly come back to him – and as he pages through his bar mitzvah photo album at his mother’s Beachwood home with his wife, Amanda, one can hear in his voice a sense of pride and satisfaction with the experience.

“My parents really worked hard to throw me a beautiful affair,” he says. “I remember being very excited about it.”

Mixed with Kurland’s excitement, however, was a sense of nervousness about reciting his haftorah. His family belonged to Green Road Synagogue, an Orthodox shul in Beachwood, but his family considered themselves Conservative. Thus, both Rabbi Melvin Granatstein, now rabbi emeritus at Green Road Synagogue, and Rabbi

Michael Hecht, the late rabbi of the former Beth Am Congregation in Cleveland Heights and B’nai Jeshurun Congregation in Pepper Pike, were involved with his preparations and in attendance.

Kurland persisted despite his nerves, and after the service, his parents told him he was “flawless.”

He says the day was especially significant because three of his four grandparents witnessed it. (His paternal grand-

10 Bar•Bat Mitzvah // Fall•Winter 2017

father died before Kurland was born.) Kurland, who was then 13, even wore his maternal grandfather’s tallit. He also says he was fortunate to have a candle lighting ceremony as part of the day.

Then came the much-anticipated party. Kurland, who wore a light brown suit and darker brown bow tie – as well as a seemingly ever-present smile, judging from the photos – says he remembers dancing and “running around” all night with friends.

Despite the fact he now co-owns Corky & Lenny’s – a deli in Woodmere started by his late father, Sanford “Corky” Kurland – and “unfortunately” really likes Jewish food, Kurland says he doesn’t remember what was served at the bar mitzvah.

However, he adds, “if I know my parents, it was probably a

chicken dish, or beef dish of some sort.”

He does, however, remember there was a smoking dry ice machine he had fun messing around with, and the festivities went later into the night than the other bar mitzvahs he had been to. He also says he can probably name everybody who attended.

“I’m still friends with a lot of these people today,” he says.

Now a member of B’nai Jeshurun, Kurland says although he’s not very religious, going through the bar mitzvah process helped him connect to and become active in the Jewish world throughout his life. He says he’s always been interested in Yiddish, and of course the Jewish deli business.

“I like the customs and what it’s about,” he said. “It’s always been in my heart.” BM

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RENEE (WALTER) HIGER

Executive director, Temple Emanu El

By Amanda Koehn

R

enee Higer remembers preparing for her May 5, 1979 bat mitzvah as vastly different from the way students prepare today. For starters, she recalled her haftorah from quick memorization and rote rehearsal, whereas students today at Temple Emanu El in Orange, where she is now executive director, often understand the Hebrew words and start learning earlier.

Higer, however, may have been at a disadvantage from the start – her tutor and cantor at Congregation Beth Am, then in Cleveland Heights, both thought they had assigned her the haftorah, when in reality neither had – and by the time they realized it, she only had a month to learn it. Thanks to listening to the Torah portion on a cassette tape, though, everything went smoothly, and Higer has fond memories of the occasion.

“I remember looking out at my parents and brother and sister and feeling like it was this really positive, happy experience,” she says. “For me, school was pretty tough – I had some learning issues – and so I remember just feeling really accomplished.”

Overall, as someone who was family-oriented, Higer was simply happy to have an event at which her entire family was present.

“I grew up in a very Jewish household, and we clearly knew that Judaism was important to us,” she says.

However, that close family relationship didn’t prevent Higer, who was then 13, from engaging in a little mischief with her friends during the party, which took place at a now-remodeled and renamed hotel on Chagrin Boulevard

in Beachwood. One of her best memories from the day – other than the red-and-whitecheckered tablecloths that matched her invitations – was that she and her friends took a tray of partially full wine glasses people neglected to finish and drank them in the hotel’s arcade room.

“It was this funny thing – we were drinking the rest of everyone else’s wine,” she says, explaining they each probably had only a few sips.

Much has changed, however, Higer says. Her former Conservative synagogue merged with B’nai Jeshurun Congregation in Pepper Pike in 1999, and Rabbi Michael Hecht, who performed her bat mitzvah, died earlier this year. Also, religious schools today typically offer more options for training for bar and bat mitzvahs that focus on individuals’ interest in Jewish life rather than uniform standards, she says. Thus, they better prepare students for the special day in a way that is meaningful to them and reflects their knowledge.

She says her daughter, Codie Higer, who is now 23 and had her bat mitzvah at Temple Emanu El in 2007, could chant her haftorah and knew what it meant, and her learning experiences made

12 Bar•Bat Mitzvah // Fall•Winter 2017

I remember looking out at my parents and brother and sister and feeling like it was this really positive, happy experience. For me, school was pretty tough – I had some learning issues – and so I remember just feeling really accomplished. the event significant for her.

Additionally, she says many religious learning programs today “are not your mother’s religious schools,” and better keep students interested in learning.

“Most of our kids continue on after bar or bat mitzvah, and I think it is because of the type of program we are able to do now, (which) is more focused on appropriate developmental learning.” BM

Joseph L. Pollack

Renee Higer, Executive Director of Temple Emanu El in Orange, with her daughter, Codie Higer, around the time of Codie’s bat mitzvah in 2007.

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COMING OF AGE For two groups of Clevelanders who celebrated their b’nai mitzvah as adults, it’s been better late than never

By Alyssa Schmitt

E

ugenia Vainberg grew up in Russia during a time when practicing Judaism would result in persecution. When she came of age, a bat mitzvah was out of the question. For a majority of Vainberg’s life, the thought of having one was far from mind – until, that is, she met Eileen Kollins at Judson Park, a retirement community in Cleveland Heights.

Kollins, a Judson volunteer, hosts Shabbat dinners twice a month at the facility, and one evening in 2015, she delved a little more deeply than usual into the lives of the retirees who

joined her. She asked whether anyone in the group had been unable to celebrate his or her bar or bat mitzvah during their childhood. A few in the group nodded their heads, and Kollins

16 Bar•Bat Mitzvah // Fall•Winter 2017

asked whether they would want to. For those who answered yes, she offered to create a b’nai mitzvah class.

“Some people said, ‘I would think about it,’ (and) the people

who said that (eventually) joined the group,” says Vainberg, who attends The Temple-Tifereth Israel in Beachwood. “But for me, it was not a question of choice, I immediately joined the group.”

The class lasted for about a year, with weekly sessions in which the attendees studied with Kollins, who also was denied the opportunity to have her own bat mitzvah.

“All five of them stuck with it through the whole year,” Kollins

Judson Park

says. “It became a very important thing for them, and we did a lot of talking about a variety of things in addition to our study.”

On June 11, 2016, Vainberg, then 89, along with four other Judson residents, read from the Torah. For the three other women in the class, it was about celebrating something they were never encouraged to do when they were younger. For Vainberg, it also meant she achieved her independence.

“It meant that I am free, that I am in the country of free people,” she says. “It has meant everything to me. ... It was very difficult to express the feeling during the ceremony, how happy I was, how happy my daughter was.”

In the same group was Allan Peskin, 84, who, coincidently, was Kollins’ Sunday school teacher at The Temple-Tifereth Israel in the 1950s. As a teacher, he had asked her to do many projects, so when she asked him to participate, he couldn’t say no.

Above: Judson Park residents Carolyn Peskin, from left, Rose Rubin, Paula Ockner, Eugenia Vainberg and Allan Peskin at the end of their b’nai mitzvah. Longtime Judson Park volunteer Eileen Kollins, standing, led their study sessions over the course of 11 months. Below: Peskin speaks as sisters Cece and Hannah Ross, standing alongside Kollins, look on during the b’nai mitzvah ceremony. The sisters and their mother, Carol, all from Strongsville, helped teach the retirees Hebrew.

Judson Park Fall•Winter 2017 // Bar•Bat Mitzvah 17

It meant that I am free, that I am in the country of free people. It has meant everything to me. ... It was very difficult to express the feeling during the ceremony, how happy I was, how happy my daughter was.

Eugenia Vainberg, who at 89 had her bat mitzvah at Judson Park Peskin’s family was living in Cumberland, Md., around the time he would be celebrating his bar mitzvah. The tradition itself was nonexistent in Peskin’s family with his father, uncle and brother exempting themselves from the occasion.

“There was only one temple (in Cumberland,)” he says. “It was a very reformed congregation

and very small, so nobody was bar mitzvah.”

He sees himself as a sort of pioneer in his family by participating in Kollins’ program. He says he didn’t see any changes in his life after the ceremony but he enjoys the little bit of Hebrew he learned.

“I read Hebrew a little easier,” he says. “I was pleased to

be able to do it. ... It was about time.”

B’NOT MITZVAH AT PARK At about the same time Peskin and Vainberg celebrated their bar and bat mitzvah, a group of about 20 women at Park Synagogue East in Pepper Pike enjoyed their own bat mitzvah with associate Rabbi Sharon Young Marcus, who holds an adult bat mitzvah class every three to four years for women who are interested.

“When I got to Park Synagogue 18 years ago, there were a lot of women who had grown up traditional and had not had an opportunity for a bat mitzvah,” Marcus says. “That’s why we started. ... We were kind

of catching up the women to the men.”

Many women who participated in her most recent class did so for reasons other than they weren’t afforded the opportunity earlier in life.

Some, like Miranda Borden, converted to Judaism later in life, while others did it because they wanted to time it up with their child’s bar or bat mitzvah.

Yet others, like Debbie Friedman, wanted to reinvigorate their Jewish life.

Borden, 49, converted to Judaism in 1999, a few years after marrying her husband, who also is Jewish. They were active at their synagogue in New York, but after moving to Shaker Heights, their family began to grow – and time to attend shul was sparse.

Park Synagogue About 20 ladies participated in Park Synagogue’s 2016 bat mitzvah program, which was taught by Rabbi Sharon Young Marcus.

18 Bar•Bat Mitzvah // Fall•Winter 2017

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“I wasn’t that available to show up,” she says. “ Once my kids were older, I could actually take a class, it was doable.”

For Borden, joining the class was about strengthening her Jewish dedication but also about connecting to community, something she says she didn’t have. Whereas before she went to services for the High Holy Days, she now finds herself in attendance at least twice a month.

“I go to services more now,” she says. “I know people there now who are always there. And I have female friends there who wave to me and sit together and chat afterwards. ... It made me feel like the synagogue was my place, too, and the Torah was mine, too. So, I had a sense of ownership of it, whereas I think I was more of an observer (before.)”

Not only did she gain a new sense of belonging, but she felt more confident in herself. At the beginning of the class, she says she didn’t want to read the Torah.

“When I contacted Sharon about the class, I was like, ‘I don’t really want to chant Torah, I may just want to go to the class and not chant Torah,’ because I just had no confidence and that wasn’t something I could do,” she says. “I don’t like to get up in front of people and do stuff. ... It turned out by the end I was like, ‘Give me the longest one.’”

Friedman, 59, never thought she would be bat mitzvah.

Growing up, she saw the dedication her father had for the religion as he prayed multiple times a day. She says her mother was proud of being Jewish but she was traditional, so Friedman was confirmed. At the time, it didn’t mean anything to her.

Her Jewish identity didn’t start to sprout until she began studying mindfulness. She says she examined her spirituality and started becoming more focused on it. Then, in 2011, Rabbi

Debbie Friedman Above: Debbie Friedman with, from left, her sons Scott and Kevin and her husband Steve following her bat mitzvah at Park Synagogue East in Pepper Pike. Below: Friedman takes the mic during her bat mitvah party at her house in Pepper Pike to do the blessing over the bread prior to eating.

Joshua Skoff of Park Synagogue called her to go to Israel, where her Judaism blossomed.

“My Jewish journey just opened up,” she says. “It came so easy to me, where it was a challenge before. It was part of just the challenges of seeing it but not living it. ... The desire was so grand, and so beautiful – it was an amazing experience.”

After returning from Israel, she signed up for Marcus’ bat mitzvah class but dropped out.

She still didn’t think she would have a bat mitzvah. In fact, she was fearful she would never be able to complete the class – but her desire to do so was stronger.

Then, in May 2016, she read from the Torah for the first and only time, and now her synagogue has become her second home.

“When I finally did decide (to become a bat mitzvah), I was a true scholar,” she says. “Being a bat mitzvah, it takes you inside.

It’s just an inner way of really feeling and expressing how proud I am to be Jewish.” BM

20 Bar•Bat Mitzvah // Fall•Winter 2017

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24 Bar•Bat Mitzvah // Fall•Winter 2017

WHAT TRENDS ARE YOU SEEING? I’m seeing a lot of people who want to craft their event around a theme or certain style. People are moving to smaller plates or hors d’oeuvre-style dining so their guests can nosh and mingle – as opposed to being confined to a table whereas many other events are just looking for a high-quality sitdown menu. ... A lot of people eat with their eyes. The way the food looks is very important.

I also see a trend in making things look abundant and beautiful. ... You want to be able

to move people through the process – create a flow with the dining. You want to be efficient and effective when serving a large group. Doing that, people will remember what it felt like to be there. We take into consideration all aspects of the event – there is a thread that goes through the event, and the caterer is often that thread. ... When we throw a larger party, it’s important that the timing is on point. Often times, the most unpredictable aspects of a party relate to the food.

WHEN SHOULD PEOPLE START PLANNING? I think that the sooner we come into the process, the better.

We can provide insight and we can help the customer along in the process. Not only would we provide food, we have access to rentals and other event planning professionals that could turn into creating an extraordinary result. Caterers should be able to connect their clients to other people within the industry. So, by involving us as soon as possible, we can help the process move along. BM

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ENTERTAINMENT

Rock the House Entertainment

MATT RADICELLI

CEO/FOUNDER | ROCK THE HOUSE | CLEVELAND WHAT’S THE MOST IMPORTANT THING TO GET RIGHT? Choosing an entertainment company that fits well with your family’s style and listens to what you want (is important). All parties are not created equal because all young adults are not created equal.

Families, especially in Jewish communities, have been to dozens of parties. They know what style they are looking for. They also have to take into account the guest of honor’s style – the young adult. You want everyone to enjoy themselves.

WHAT’S OFTEN OVERLOOKED? We as a company believe that some families, especially after their first child’s party is out of the way, they rubber stamp the planning of the event and they don’t give a lot

of thought into the planning process. We still want to hear a family’s opinion – if the family isn’t on the exact page as us on the first day of planning, we want to get there. Also, people use the phrase “kids’ party” interchangeably as an “everybody party.” Families need to be honest with each other and figure out who the party is actually for. It’s either a kids’ party, an everybody party or a kids’ party with adults, too.

WHAT ELSE SHOULD PARENTS CONSIDER? They should consider that every party should not be the same but they should be comfortable with the idea that many parties can have the same elements because of tradition. Two hundred families come through our door every year saying they want a party different from their neighbor, but what happens is the same elements are tried and

26 Bar•Bat Mitzvah // Fall•Winter 2017

true at all of these parties. We want to make sure we do these similar items for every family and make sure the family’s preferences are woven into the party.

talized. The parents are choosing to put a little more investment on the dance floor but they’re also protecting their investment by adding things to do besides dancing.

WHAT TRENDS ARE YOU SEEING?

WHEN SHOULD PEOPLE START PLANNING?

There is a term called ‘extra entertainment,’ meaning the other stuff added to a party.

About 10 years ago, the photo booth exploded and it’s still the No. 1 best-selling item. Photo booths aren’t going anywhere but they are greatly enhanced.

You can do an animated GIF and Snapchat-style filters and you can post them to your social media right there. Everything is happening but it’s to the next level. There is also HQ video. For reflections videos, you see these giant LED photo walls, and you can show those videos and photo booth pictures there. The dance floor has also been revi-

We believe that most commonly, people get their dates sometimes between 18 to 24 months out – and it’s good to start looking right then. Our average booking window is 20 months. Once per year, there is a showcase here in Cleveland that is specific to bar/bat mitzvahs called PartyPalooza. There will be about 75 vendors and it’s basically a way for families to see what the latest and greatest opportunities are. These are all things a family needs in order to plan a party. More often than not, these families need to secure their date ASAP in order to get their first choice. BM

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CORINNE CALAMANTE

HEAD FLORAL DESIGNER | GALI’S FLORIST AND GARDEN CENTER | BEACHWOOD WHAT’S THE MOST IMPORTANT THING TO GET RIGHT? As far as the floral design, it’s important for the flowers to reflect the child. The colors are important, the type and the design. It really depends on what they want the flowers to say. You need to make sure the florist is up to date on what the family wants – like traditional arrangements versus nontraditional. Everyone has their style, and everyone has their Pinterest board ready. If there is a special flower that is significant, we can do flowers year-round now, especially when they didn’t used to be available. The flowers can pattern the look they are going for, and again, convey that idea.

You can have flowers adorn everything or keep it simple.

WHAT’S OFTEN OVERLOOKED? People tend to overlook how much flowers play a part in the party and ceremony. They don’t realize how important flowers are in terms of centerpieces and recognition of someone. They can even be placed in the bathrooms. Even giving someone important to you a flower on that special day of yours is often overlooked and can be a great touch.

week, or even sometimes they give me everything they need beforehand and don’t come back until it’s finished. If it’s booked a year ahead of time, it really depends on the individual.

You should be clear with the family and florist in terms of how involved you want to be in the floral planning.

WHAT TRENDS ARE YOU SEEING? People are going with bigger parties. Things are becoming a lot more elaborate and flowers are becoming a larger part of the festivities. There are a lot of different styles right now – like fall colors paired with a softer palette, like pastels. You’re seeing a lot of earth tones, like succulents, natural elements and even the use of twigs. ... As for centerpieces, you can do one large piece. It’s really popular to design them so that every centerpiece is different. One can be taller and the other, fuller and lower to the ground. We’re even seeing a blade of grass acting almost like a placemat on the table where you can build flowers on top.

WHAT ELSE SHOULD PARENTS CONSIDER? It always comes back to how important flowers truly are. It could be as elaborate or as simple as someone wants. You need to convey exactly what they want and to be as specific as possible so everyone is on the same page. There are customers who want to be in contact every

28 Bar•Bat Mitzvah // Fall•Winter 2017

FLORAL WHEN SHOULD PEOPLE START PLANNING? It’s good to at least touch base eight months to a year in advance. Some people contact us a month beforehand – and that’s not really the best way to go. Even if you come and talk to us before anything has really been set, you can then come back with ideas you have seen and like later. We can then meet with the client and go over – and more or less then finalize – the number of pieces. But at least, have a sense of the idea that you want to build off of so the florist can start somewhere.

We want to help as much as we can. BM

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Fall•Winter 2017 // Bar•Bat Mitzvah 29

Kim Ponsky Photography

PHOTOGRAPHY KIM PONSKY

OWNER | KIM PONSKY PHOTOGRAPHY | BEACHWOOD

WHAT’S THE MOST IMPORTANT THING TO GET RIGHT? I think you need to start by making sure the photographer understands your goals at the end of the day. It’s not as simple as whether or not they captured the mitzvah. It’s also important to make sure you and the photographer’s styles match. It’s important for the photographer to understand the significance of the event to you. Are you looking to show a really great party or are you trying to have beautiful portraits from the service? When someone gets what you’re going for, it can make all of the difference.

WHAT’S OFTEN OVERLOOKED? I think the ability to have images that you can look back at – the sentimental and timeless importance of a bar or bat mitzvah.

Often, a lot of the attention is placed on the party and the rite of passage, and what this means for the person in terms of Judaism is not the focus.

But that’s what you’re going to look back on in 20 years – the achievement. Having a Jewish photographer is great because they understand that.

WHAT ELSE SHOULD PARENTS CONSIDER? I think it’s important that they

30 Bar•Bat Mitzvah // Fall•Winter 2017

like the photographer in terms of their personality and if they will be a pleasure to work with.

You don’t want to have to deal with an unpleasant personality – you want (the photographer) to be able to make your life easier and to complement your day. Also, you need to look at how professional and amiable the person is. It’s also important that you’re not a cookie-cutter client. Somebody might do a lot of bar and bat mitzvah photography, so from event to event, it might start looking very cookie cutter. Pairing an experienced photographer with a unique client – that can make the images more special and unique to you.

WHAT TRENDS ARE YOU SEEING? As for trends, that’s tricky. My experience is a that of portrait photography. When I photograph bar and bat mitzvahs, I approach it as a portrait. I am capturing the essence of the event. I don’t want to disrupt the event and we strongly recommend not photographing at the service itself. It’s a big deal and the kid would be distracted.

I want to give the clients the best photos I can give them. I photograph mostly during the rehearsal, and we’re able to get better portraits and it’s not an added stress or anxiety trigger.

During the party, the trend is really to be a fly on the wall. We want pictures, but it’s mostly candid. It’s capturing that kind of moment and capturing all of the details of the event.

WHEN SHOULD PEOPLE START PLANNING? Honestly, if your photography is important to you, there is no reason not to book the photographer at the same time as the venue, entertainment and date. Photographers that do events could be booked up to two years (in advance), and from a strategic standpoint, you should lock it in. Things change, schedules change but it’s never a bad idea to think ahead. It also helps with budgeting to know what you’re looking at. Even making calls to photographers in advance can really help to budget and allocate funds. If your photos are a large aspect, you want to lock those services in ASAP. BM

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option available. Guests take their photos through an interactive mirror that prompts them to do various actions, sign their pictures when they’re done, and even print and share their pictures!

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STATIONERY

AMY WAIN

OWNER | THE A.L. WAIN CO. | SHAKER HEIGHTS WHAT’S THE MOST IMPORTANT THING TO GET RIGHT? What I remind my clients is that the invitation is really for the service and it should reflect that and not the party theme. It’s all right to have the party’s color incorporated into the invite but to save the logos and whimsical fun for the party itself. The invite should reflect the seriousness of the temple service. Some opt to have a separate party card and they can incorporate those elements there.

WHAT’S OFTEN OVERLOOKED? From my point of view, people don’t always realize how many invites they need. They come to me and say they’re thinking of inviting 200 people – but they should be organized with lists and see how many children there will be and who exactly they are inviting. Also, a lot of people want to use their Hebrew names and wording but some don’t know exactly what it is – so come with the exact wording prepared. I can’t stress being prepared enough.

WHAT ELSE SHOULD PARENTS CONSIDER? The invite can be any style or any printing type – it doesn’t really matter. But it should be clear, easy to read and it should reflect who the kid is – but not be too whimsical. Know what you’d like to include on the invite. There are so many possibilities for the design.

Amy Wain

WHAT TRENDS ARE YOU SEEING? All invites are using some sort of foil stamping, where the name might be in a gold or silver foil. On the other end, there are people coming to me who might not want something too expensive, so I’m seeing them do reply cards online like a wedding would do. And then all of the other information would be on the website. That way, they are not paying so much for the printing of additional envelopes as they used to. I usually have to go through a printing primer with my customers and sort of explain the range of customization – because you can really do anything now.

32 Bar•Bat Mitzvah // Fall•Winter 2017

WHEN SHOULD PEOPLE START PLANNING? I think that a good marker is about six months ahead. They should meet with someone because if they want to mail them two months ahead, it gives them time to get their lists and information together. There is usually a bit of back and forth before the invites get to the printer stage. It’s really good to

have the additional time in case there is an error – so it can go back before it’s printed. It takes some time for the process, so the six months gives everyone involved plenty of time. It’s the sweet spot, especially since (parents) have the date two or three years in advance. That helps. BM Publisher’s note: Amy Wain is the daughter of Norman Wain, a past board chair of the Cleveland Jewish Publication Co.

Suburban Temple-Kol Ami

SYNAGOGUE BRETT SHANKMAN

EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR | SUBURBAN TEMPLE-KOL AMI | BEACHWOOD

RABBI ALLISON B. VANN

SPIRITUAL LEADER | SUBURBAN TEMPLE-KOL AMI | BEACHWOOD WHAT’S THE MOST IMPORTANT THING TO GET RIGHT? BS: Everything is important – but really, it’s the ceremony. Focus on the ceremony and everything that comes along with it. The ceremony should be the focal point, the center of the whole party. For your planning, there should be close communication with rabbinic leadership to ensure the honors that are being given to family or friends are done in a timely manner and that everyone is comfortable and the expectations for the synagogue in terms of programming setups, like Yiddish pieces, are arranged and discussed. So, that way, the day of or the weekend prior to the ceremony, everyone is prepared and knows exactly what is happening and what to expect.

WHAT’S OFTEN OVERLOOKED? BS: Families will always make and adjust the numbers of the anticipated guests, a change in who will be participating in the ceremony and order of the participation. Some should make sure that the parents are in communication with the synagogue for these changes. It’s double and triple checking that

34 Bar•Bat Mitzvah // Fall•Winter 2017

all the parts are moving in the right direction so the ceremony can proceed without issues the day of.

WHAT ELSE SHOULD PARENTS CONSIDER? BS: Parents need to first and foremost consider and think about their child in regard to what the ceremony means to them and their entry into Jewish adulthood. This ceremony is very important to them and their family. Considering that, the parents should make sure their expectations (and) the child’s expectations are in line with each other for the ceremony to succeed as it’s designed to.

WHAT TRENDS ARE YOU SEEING? AV: Families usually have to follow the congregational process. There has been a movement throughout Reform Judaism for bar or bat mitzvahs to not be a stand-alone event and just one aspect of the child’s life.

Everything we do is looking at that – what can (we) do to involve the whole family. For example, we have our fifth graders host the congregation and lead a service and even

practice with family programs at home. In that way, the bar or bat mitzvah process is part of the life journey and not just an event.

We ensure that every child does what is right for them, and so in that way, the service is individualized – so we don’t ask the child to be more or less what they are. Every child is capable of having a bar mitzvah, no matter their style or needs. If the child has a special need, those needs are met. Working with the child with who and what and where they are, every child can feel comfortable and connected to Judaism. It’s about their spiritual journey.

WHEN SHOULD PEOPLE START PLANNING? BS: We try to begin the formal process about 14 months ahead of the date of the ceremony. So, those initial conversations with the clergy, the tutor that is teaching the child their Torah portion and the administrative side of the ceremony within the synagogue should start as early as possible. Certainly within a few months of the event, most of the details should be resolved and all that should be left last minute is finishing touches. BM

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Fall•Winter 2017 // Bar•Bat Mitzvah 35

Metropolitan at The 9

Planning perfection

Party professionals say that it all comes down to a cohesive plan

By Becky Raspe

W

hen a child is born, parents can often narrow down the date of their young one’s bar or bat mitzvah – technically, perhaps, giving them the ability to get a good head start on planning. But years later, as the date of the celebration draws near, that planning process can get a bit hectic. There are entertainers to contact, venues with which to coordinate, menus to design, and of course, a pre-teen to prepare for one of the most meaningful events of his or her life.

Carly Krusoe, events manager at Metropolitan at The 9 in downtown Cleveland; Sarah Zoker, general manager, and Jessica Neeson, event planner at La Centre Conference and Banquet Facility in Westlake; and Kristen Adams, catering sales and service manager at The Kimpton Schofield Hotel in downtown Cleveland, all say a good party comes down to those in charge, and parents don’t have to sweat the small stuff if their plan is cohesive and inclusive.

Consider the big picture In order to begin the party planning process in a stress-free way, parents should nail down all aspects of the party well before the date.

“I would say you need to get everything done ahead of time, but not too early because plans can change,” Krusoe says. “Nail down your venue first, then the vendors, and then you can start focusing on food and beverage.

The key is to stay organized throughout this process.”

36 Bar•Bat Mitzvah // Fall•Winter 2017

Krusoe recommends parents keep separate folders for every aspect of the party, including ideas, contact information and potential backups if plans fall through.

“That way, if someone like me calls and needs information, they have everything in one place and they don’t have to scramble,” she says.

Adams suggests families could even hire an event planner if the planning process feels stressful for them. That way, they can consult and make choices on the things that matter for the party without the running around.

“These are professionals who have seen it all,” she says.

“A good one will make you feel at ease as the planning process moves forward. You and your planner should share a checklist.

Agree on a maximum budget and share (it) with the planner so you can get the best bang for your buck.”

Smaller details matter, too After the larger aspects of the party and ceremony have been nailed down, there’s still a lot of work to do. Each party has layers – each more detailed than the next. Zoker recommends parents don’t miss these details, but at the same time, she suggests they leave the worrying to their hired professionals.

Otherwise, they may not be able to enjoy the day.

“The venue can help schedule and execute things from beginning to end,” she says. “(Planning the party) can be exhausting, and you don’t want to overlook something. By having the venue help plan, all a parent has to do at the venue is greet everyone. That’s a big part of it – people have an event and they don’t get the chance to enjoy it because they are so busy.”

Details that can potentially be missed include parking considerations, seating arrange-

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ments, the possibility of the venue having other events the same day, sound system checks, lighting, coat checks and even making sure the save-the-dates are sent out on time.

“Sometimes families forget to tell us about the items they are bringing to the party,” Krusoe says. “Sometimes, dietary restrictions are overlooked because it’s the last thing on their mind. It’s mostly the small things that get overlooked. It’s always presumed that the venue will have everything ready – but those small things can really pile up.”

Add flavor to the party All four professionals note that bar and bat mitzvah parties are getting more and more creative. They’re seeing interesting color choices, unique set ups, photo booths and even special menu items that weren’t on anyone’s radar years ago.

Adams says parties at The Kimpton Schofield Hotel have had healthier food options, multiple stations with different types of cuisine, more intimate settings and feature more family-driven activities that people of all ages can enjoy.

Zoker says La Centre Conference and Banquet Facility is hosting a lot of themed parties.

“Each party has a lot of entertainers, too, and they are all super tech savvy,” she says. “We have companies that come in that can supply gaming stations.

It’s really good to think outside of the box. Whatever the theme is, it’s possible that the venue can get what they want.”

Neeson adds that despite these latest trends, parties still cater to those sweet-toothed and kid-at-heart guests with dessert bars, colorful attractions and ice sculptures.

Final pieces of advice All in all, a successful partyplanning experience goes back

Kimpton Schofield Hotel

La Centre Conference and Banquet Facility to making sure parents start early – and are realistic about their plans, Adams says. If parents feel nervous, she suggests they meet with event planners in an effort to get comfortable with using one.

“Interview a few (planners), if possible, to really get a feel,” she says. “I always go with the ‘three bids’ process. You can even create a checklist for both you and your planner. Discuss these checklists with your plan-

38 Bar•Bat Mitzvah // Fall•Winter 2017

ner and have them fine tune it for you based on what makes the most sense for you, the venue and logistics.”

Neeson says, “First and foremost, have fun with it. Have a solid plan to keep yourself and those you hired on track.

For a bar or bat mitzvah, six months (ahead) is a good time frame to start planning. Even by starting the planning a year out is good because you can reserve space early and

you won’t be competing with other families.”

Krusoe says she can’t stress enough the notion of staying organized from beginning to end – and to not stray too far from their plans.

“Just know that it’s going to come together with the people who are helping you,” she says.

“Don’t put too much pressure on yourself – especially when you’re hiring others for a reason.”

BM

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ENTERTAINMENT ESTABLISHMENTS

Northeast Ohio is home to venues that offer numerous options for amusement and enjoyment

By Ed Carroll

A

bar or bat mitzvah is a special moment in a young person’s life, and the party afterward is a big part of that memorable day. While party halls and event rooms are nice and perfectly acceptable locations to host a simcha, Northeast Ohio is home to a number of unique venues suitable for the occasion. Experts from Rollhouse Entertainment in Solon, Punch Bowl Social in Cleveland and United Skates of America in Wickliffe discuss what makes their venues special and how they can help make an already memorable event unforgettable.

SKATE ON BY

Some venues key in on social activity, like United Skates of America, which features roller skating but also has a laser tag arena and an arcade where guests can win prizes. Dana Rajk, sales manager at United Skates of America, says her company wants to make every aspect of the experience special for the celebrant and his or her family, adding that representatives will go through every detail with families to make sure it’s satisfactory.

“We’re so flexible. They can put things where they want them, tell us what time they want the food served, and we have great hosts and hostesses

40 Bar•Bat Mitzvah // Fall•Winter 2017

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Fall•Winter 2017 // Bar•Bat Mitzvah 41

(to help during the party),” she says. “I think it’s a great place to have an event, we do … all different kind of events. It’s so much fun when people come here and we make them happy and see the smiles on their faces.”

Rajk says United Skates can provide different themes for its parties or the host can customize the theme, including the music.

Although United Skates has a variety of music from which to choose, partygoers sometimes bring their own playlist or even their own DJ – though United Skates has a house DJ, too, if needed. The café isn’t kosher, but outside food is permitted, if that’s what the host wants.

“We’re very customer serviceoriented and we want to make sure they have a great time,” Rajk says. “We’re very accommodating of our guests. We want them to have an experience all their own that they’ll remember forever.”

United Skates of America

Party with a punch Punch Bowl Social, in the Flats East Bank development in downtown Cleveland, almost overwhelms one with entertainment options, including novelty bowling lanes, arcade games, traditional-style games such as darts, billiards, marbles and cornhole, a super-sized foosball table, a photo booth and private karaoke rooms. Victoria Richards, sales manager at Punch Bowl Social, says even more activities can be brought in if requested, including specialty items in gaming and an ice cream cart.

“We do have a wide range of activities, and I think the benefit (of having an event at Punch Bowl Social) and what sets us apart is how we work to make sure each event is a unique experience,” says Richards. “We work with the clients to make sure their expectations are met.”

Richards says besides the variety of activities, what sets Punch Bowl Social apart from more traditional venues is its ability to cater to multiple age ranges at once.

Punch Bowl Social “We customize (the event) to their needs and we do it very well,” she says.

Richards adds that they will make custom cocktails, punches or non-alcoholic punches specifically for the event to serve to

42 Bar•Bat Mitzvah // Fall•Winter 2017

guests, which is another aspect that she feels makes an event at Punch Bowl Social unique. The kitchen is not kosher, but they will outsource kosher catering or work with kosher caterers if the host wants to bring in their own.

However, Punch Bowl Social’s sodas are kosher, Richards says, as are a lot of its bar offerings.

“In general, I would say that if we’re blessed with their business, we’ll work to make sure their event integrity is intact,” she says.

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Rolling into fun

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Rollhouse Entertainment

Rollhouse Entertainment 44 Bar•Bat Mitzvah // Fall•Winter 2017

You might be familiar with Rollhouse Entertainment even if you don’t recognize the name. Formerly known as Freeway Lanes of Solon, Rollhouse Entertainment Solon still features bowling, but a recent renovation also added a two-story laser tag arena, a 90-player game room and a new Ninja Warrior obstacle course, says Glenn Gable, owner and CEO. What sets Rollhouse apart from the standard event hall, Gable says, is the variety of offerings it provides.

“We have a lot of things that are unique entertainment options,” he says. “We back that up with good food and (a) really good bar for adults.”

The kitchen at Rollhouse is not kosher, but hosts can bring in kosher food for a plate charge, says Gable, adding his business features activities for guests of all ages.

“Video games are fun to play for the adults, as is laser tag and our laser maze,” he says, adding that the only thing adults likely won’t take part in is the Ninja Warrior course, which poses physically strenuous challenges to those who try to complete it. Gable admits he hasn’t even attempted the course, though he’s tried similar courses at other establishments.

“As you get older, it gets harder,” he quips.

Gable also says Rollhouse will make sure the guest of honor is in the spotlight the entire party. Rollhouse’s inhouse video system allows for memory videos or any other video to be played throughout the entire venue.

“The No. 1 thing is the ceremony that goes into (the event at Rollhouse),” he says.

“We’ll be able to set up a really nice spotlighted area so the kid knows (he or she) is the center of attention.” BM

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Savvy site selections

Locations across Northeast Ohio offer b’nai mitzvah celebrations planning help and plenty of options for fun

By Alyssa Schmitt

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lanning an unforgettable bar or bat mitzvah can be challenging on many levels, from preparing themed decorations to finding a caterer and creating a seating chart. With the right location, though, these tasks can almost disappear – with help from the venue.

party, Music Box Supper Club in Cleveland can help them get in the groove. Its spectacular view of the Cuyahoga River through wall-sized windows on both floors is just one of the perks guests will likely enjoy while celebrating their major milestone.

Mike Miller, the venue’s managing partner, boasts the

club’s ability to change shape so no two parties are ever the same.

“We can really transform the space,” he says. “We have a lot of nooks and crannies, if you would, that we can turn into photo booths or game-playing areas. We have the ability to transform the space so we can

Greater Cleveland is home to many great venues. The first step in choosing the right fit is deciding what is needed from the location, whether it’s a jamming dance floor, intimate dinner or a place to play.

Music to one’s ears If the guest of honor is looking to rock out during his or her

Music Box Supper Club sits right on the Cuyahoga River creating an unforgettable view from its decks. Guests can plan a bar or bat mitzvah overlooking the river and if weather gets in the way, a tent can be set up to cover the party.

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Music Box Supper Club

Top: The Music Box Supper Club’s concert-level sound system can help get every guest in the mood for dancing.

Below: The Stern Room at Mitchell’s Fish Market can accommodate up to 40 guests for any celebration. With a chef and planner on site, the venue can help plan the event and see it through the end of the night.

really deliver the type of event they’re looking for.”

There are six spaces available to rent in the building that can be customized to the family’s desire using design software the family can experiment with to assemble a floor plan fitted to their party.

“They can play with how the layout can look,” Miller says.

“That can be a fun activity, really be a part of the real planning of where you put the food, where you might have the games, where you might have a photo booth.”

The Music Box wouldn’t live up to its name if it wasn’t for its sound system and sound engineers, who guide the celebration from start to finish while making sure guests are on their feet dancing.

“Our sound system is built into our space,” Miller says. “It’s for concert-level sound. A major part of your experience is the

music. … We have a full sound system on both floors – it becomes an integrative part.”

Cornering the market Those looking for a more intimate celebration can explore the many rooms of Mitchell’s Fish Market in Woodmere, which promises a unique celebration.

“First of all, we 100 percent understand that no bar or bat mitzvah is the same as the previous one,” says Allison Whalen, Mitchell’s Fish Market’s Woodmere general manager.

“We completely understand that each one of these celebrations is unique – and we treat it as such.”

When setting the table, no detail is overlooked in the three rooms available to rent: the Captain’s Quarters, Coastal Room and Stern Room. With a personal event sales manager and chef both on site, the stresses of decorating, catering and other party

Joe Vaughn / Mitchell’s Fish Market 48 Bar•Bat Mitzvah // Fall•Winter 2017

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planning details are handled by the restaurant’s staff.

“Everything that we do is detail-oriented,” Whalen says.

“All planning happens here on site, so it’s nice because it’s a one-stop shop for clients who are looking to plan something that’s truly as important as a bar or bat mitzvah.”

Finding space to fit a band or DJ in one of the rooms can be tight, but Whalen explains that they’ve done it before and can make it happen again.

“We have, in the past, had small entertainment groups,” she says, referring to a keyboardistsinger duo. “Because it is more of an intimate setting, things like a band or a DJ are a little bit more of a unique situation, not necessarily the norm, but we definitely worked with guests in the past on it.”

Earning their stripes Parties that want to keep the games going all night can soon check out Pinstripes, which is scheduled to open in May 2018 at the Pinecrest development in Orange Village. Although the building isn’t finished, clients can start planning with a Pinstripes event sales manager for a party.

Sarah Bessler, a senior event sales manager at Pinstripes in Oak Brook, Ill., acknowledges no bar or bat mitzvah is ever the same as each one represents the guest of honor. Because of the easy customization of each area in the venue, the team at Pinstripes can make each event a once-in-a-lifetime experience.

“Pinstripes is truly a blank canvas,” Bessler says. “Through our many options of customization and flexibility, personalities, themes and flavor can really be captured in our space. As an event manager, we help guide our clients every step of the way to ensure their vision goals are exceeded – and the wow factor is achieved and remembered.”

It likely will be hard to get bored at the venue, which

will have outdoor fire pits, bocce courts and a bowling alley to keep guests of all ages entertained the entire night.

Its family-style service provides a unique experience for guests to indulge in a five-course meal. “(They’ll) never have to determine whether they’d prefer chicken or fish because, with us, they can have both,” Bessler says. BM

Top: The Coastal Room is Mitchell’s Fish Market’s largest room.

It can accommodate a maximum capacity of 55 guests and allows space to plan a great celebration.

Middle: Opening in May 2018 at Pinecrest in Orange Village, Pinstripes will look similar to its location in Northbrook, Ill., and will offer a wide range of entertainment options, from bocce and bowling, along with made-from-scratch meals for guests to enjoy.

Bottom: Like its Northbrook, Ill., location, the Pinstripes opening in May 2018 in Orange Village will be ready to celebrate a teen’s simcha, with an event sales manager ready to help families plan an unforgettable celebration.

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50 Bar•Bat Mitzvah // Fall•Winter 2017

Joe Vaughn / Mitchell’s Fish Market

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Marking the occasion

Giving meaningful gifts can add to b’nai mitzvah memories

Robert & Gabriel Jewelers

By Alec Slovenec

A

t a loss on what to get someone for his or her bar or bat mitzvah? You likely aren’t alone.

Buying the right gift may feel difficult and overwhelming, in part because there are many quality options available – especially from local businesses throughout Northeast Ohio.

For those in need of a little gift-giving direction, Thomas Lockshin, executive director of Israel Bonds for Ohio and Kentucky, and Ann Swope, administrative assistant for Robert & Gabriel Jewelers in Lyndhurst, provide some insight.

Israel bonds are a common gift, especially coming from family friends and relatives of the child, Lockshin says, explaining the bonds make a meaningful gift for a child’s bar or bat mitzvah. While perhaps not as flashy as, say, a video game, the bonds provide a practical and useful opportunity to secure money for the child’s future.

“It’s a gift of substance,” he says.

Mazel Tov Bonds start at $100 and can be increased in increments of $10, says Lockshin, adding they’re the most popular gift option. There are also eMitzvah Bonds, which start at $36 and can be increased by increments of $18 – and are available online.

“We provide a beautiful gift announcement for free with purchase of any bond that’s being given as a gift,” says Lockshin, whose office is in Beachwood.

Both types of bonds mature at five years and grow at an annual rate of 3.15 percent. A child who receives a $100 Mazel Tov bond at age 13 will be able to withdraw $116.78 at age 18.

Aside from the dollar value, purchasing Israel bonds allows

52 Bar•Bat Mitzvah // Fall•Winter 2017

a child having a bar or bat mitzvah to support Israel.

“It’s an investment and it supports every aspect of Israel’s economy,” Lockshin says. “It’s an enhancement of that support of Israel. It’s something they can feel really good about.”

For those looking to give a more tangible gift, jewelry is a time-honored option. Robert & Gabriel Jewelers offers a variety of jewelry for boys and girls, including bracelets, necklaces, watches and Judaica.

Kiddush cups, with options ranging from traditional to contemporary, are some of the most popular items, Swope says, adding customers often engrave them – and some even leave room for the child to have his or her future children’s names engraved.

“People are starting a new tradition so that they have something for the rest of their life,” she says.

For bat mitzvahs, Swope says necklaces are the most popular gifts, with earrings,

Lockshin rings and jewelry boxes not far behind. For boys, watches are always a hit, as well as signet rings, she says. Also, many of Robert & Gabriel Jeweler’s popular b’nai mitzvah items include Judaic symbols, like the Star of David and chai.

Also, many families purchase sterling silver jewelry for children – and sometimes gold.

“Since this is a transition into adulthood, the families tend to transition their items into something of better quality,” Swope says, adding that based on her experience, parents often spend $500 or less on their children, and friends of the family spend about $100. BM

Bar/Bat Mitzvah of ______________________________________ Date _________________________________________ Caterer ______________________________________ Venue Location _______________________________ Party Planner/Decorator _______________________ DaTe

2-3 years before _________ Contact synagogue to set date

_________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________

1 year before Begin formal bar/bat mitzvah lessons Discuss community or mitzvah project Determine budget If the ceremony will be in Israel, find travel agent who can arrange location and rabbi Find vendors: videographer/photographer, party planner, caterers, DJ, band, florist, venues Contact hotels and decide where to book blocks of rooms Create list of out-of-towners to be invited Send save-the-date reminders

10 months before _________ Have bar/bat mitzvah child meet party planner, if using one, to give input on decorations 8 months before _________ Create guest list with complete addresses 7 months before _________ Begin to look at invitations _________ Decide on wording for invitations _________ Decide arrangements to transport kids to and from party

_________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________

6 months before Order invitations, thank-you notes Create maps, directions sheets Pick calligraphy style for envelopes Order yarmulkes Find child’s tallit Begin to plan menu

4 months before _________ Weigh invitation at post office _________ Choose and purchase postage stamps

DJ/Band/entertainment _______________________ Photographer ________________________________ Videographer ________________________________ Hotel Block __________________________________ DaTe

3 months before _________ Take invitations to calligrapher, print mailing labels _________ Discuss valet _________ Decide on hotel room gift bags for out-of-town guests _________ Select clothing for family members _________ Finalize menu _________ Decide on centerpieces and sign-in board 2 months before _________ Mail out-of-town invitations _________ Make hair appointments for family for the week before the event 6 weeks before _________ Mail in-town invitations

_________ _________ _________ _________ _________

4 weeks before Reconfirm with service providers Put together seating plan Have child practice speech out loud Set up rehearsal time with synagogue Put together gift baskets for out-of-town guests

3 weeks before _________ Work with caterer on floor plan and plan agenda for the event 2 Tuesdays before _________ Order any necessary kosher dinners 2 Wednesdays before _________ Assign tables _________ Personalize gift bags, if desired Weekend before _________ Finalize guest count/seating as best you can Monday before _________ Finalize seating cards Day before _________ Deliver gift bags to hotels

LET BAR•BAT MITZVAH HELP YOU START PLANNING! VISIT CJN.ORG/BARBATPLANNER TO DOWNLOAD A PLANNER THAT INCLUDES A TIMELINE, CHECKLIST AND BUDGET. Fall•Winter 2017 // Bar•Bat Mitzvah 53

BANKING ON THE FUTURE Monetary b’nai mitzvah gifts offer children the opportunity to learn about saving and spending

By Ed Carroll

T

he bar or bat mitzvah may be over, but the decisions don’t necessarily end there. Children who receive large sums of money for their bar or bat mitzvah are faced with decisions regarding what to do with it, which may end up being the first major financial decision of their lives. Needless to say, there are many options for them – and their parents – to consider.

David Mikolay, vice president and Akron-Canton market regional manager at CFBank, says one thing to remember is that “saving is good” when trying to decide whether the money should go into a savings account or something more long-term, such as a CD (certificate of deposit).

“Any way to save is good,” says Mikolay, whose office is in Fairlawn. “Saving is good regardless (of the method used). If it’s going to be an account where you need access (to the money), it’s going to be a savings account. If it’s a lump sum of money you’re just putting away, it’s going to be a CD.” However, there are options outside of savings accounts and CDs. Karen S. Cohen, a certified public accountant and trust officer at Home Savings Premier Wealth Management in Canfield, says her favorite savings vehicle is a Sec. 529-qualified state tuition plan.

“A 529 plan is often set up by a grandparent or a parent to save for a child’s education, but a child can fund his or her own account with money received as a gift,” Cohen says. “What makes a 529 plan more attractive than a savings account or certificate of deposit is that, in the worst-case scenario, the tax on the earnings in the plan is deferred, and in the optimal situation, the earnings are never taxed. Encouraging a child to put money into a 529 plan is a way for parents to impart their values to the child about the importance of education, as well as the importance of making saving a life-long habit.”

Cohen says parents should not wait until their children are 12 or 13 to have the first discussion about saving and spending, but when the time comes, she encourages parents to include their children in the discussion regarding what to do with the money.

54 Bar•Bat Mitzvah // Fall•Winter 2017

Cohen

Mikolay

“I do think a parent should be somewhat firm about sticking to the plan once it is agreed upon with the child,” she says. “I also think the child should have freedom in choosing how (he or she) should spend the money that is designated for spending now. Even bad choices made with a relatively small amount of money can provide good life lessons.”

Mikolay says he often works with parents who, in general, don’t discuss money. When they eventually do so, perhaps for a bar or bat mitzvah, it’s been his experience that different approaches work for different people.

“Money isn’t the only thing in life but it is an important aspect in life,” he says. “I have dealt with families for about 15 years now. … I think (the decision about how much to save and how much to spend) is up to the individual. I’d portion out

a little bit for fun – they get the idea that they can use it and have their fun, but put a portion away for saving.”

Cohen agrees that the child should get to spend some of the money.

“I don’t think saving every dime enhances the life lesson about saving,” she says. “If saving is painful and requires too much sacrifice, it won’t be a lesson taken to heart for a lifetime.”

She compared saving to a Halloween treat bag.

“If you take the bag completely away from the child to save it and the child does not get to enjoy any of it now, or tomorrow, or this week, the lesson is not going to be met with much enthusiasm or success,” she says.

“If a child is going to learn to balance immediate consumption with self-discipline and systematic, incremental achievement, perhaps there needs to be a little spending involved.” BM

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