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Sacred Homecoming How an Idaho Nez Perce tribe got its valuable collection of artifacts back. By Jennifer K. Bauer

CONTENTS COVER STORY

SACRED HOMECOMING How an Idaho Nez Perce tribe got its valuable collection of artifacts back. By Jennifer K. Bauer

Cover photography courtesy of Plateau Peoples’ Web Portal

7 PRIVATE EYE 20 A&E 25 DINE 30 MUSIC 36 CINEMA 37 COMMUNITY

2 | NOVEMBER 26, 2020

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SOAP BOX Best of Utah, Nov. 19

Wow, what a beautiful [cover] design. I need this framed. @VRON_ _801 via Instagram Thank you for a great issue overall. An essential checklist for my winter takeout! @MINDYSLC via Instagram Amy Donaldson (“Best AllPurpose Journo”) is truly a gem of a person. Agreed with this selection, 110 percent. Go, Amy! @_NIKKIJENSEN via Instagram

“Best Elected Official: Rep. Ben McAdams”

This just sucks! (Editor’s note: Ben McAdams just lost his reelection to Burgess Owens) Congrats, Utah County, on electing a congressman who’s a conspiracist with multiple

bankruptcies and owes back taxes. Party over country. @HELLOQUAN via Instagram

Thankful Spirits

“Best Local Spirits: Five Wives Vodka” We love our community and are proud to stand together! Thank you for the love. @FIVEWIVESVODKA via Instagram “Best Beer Selection: The Bayou” Thanks, guys! It will take some work getting the beer list back to fighting form when this damned pandemic subsides, but we are up for it. @UTAHBAYOU via Instagram “Best Unique Spirits: Holystone Distilling” We are so humbled and happy! Many, many thanks to all of the

@SLCWEEKLY incredibly hardworking staff at City Weekly. Not just for this, but truly for all that you do each day, week, month and year to support and celebrate our community. @HOLYSTONEDISTILLING via Instagram

“Best LGBTQ Bar: The Sun Trapp”

Been here a few times with some of my gay friends, never had a bad time. Everybody there is friendly. @TECKY86 via Instagram OK, this should be the best overall bar in Utah, regardless of patron tendencies!

@HANNAHSCOTTON_ via Instagram

“Worst Utahn: Mike Lee”

I consistently sign environmental petitions that get sent to

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Mike Lee’s office. His response is always something like: “the environment doesn’t matter. What matters is capitalism and making our state prosperous.” Ugh! @KRISTINMC6 via Instagram Mike Lee is such a nut bag, and that is offensive to nuts and bags. @DAVIDJASONSON via Instagram City Weekly is out for blood. I wonder if they’ll be my second when Mike Lee accepts my challenge to a duel. @ARIWREES via Twitter

Private Eye, Nov. 19 column: “Best of You”

Very sad to see [those restaurants] close. We are doing our

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best to raise awareness in our community and get people to do weekly takeout or curbside. @SEARCHGROUPPARTNERS VIA INSTAGRAM Thank you, John. Supporting local is so important. @CATPALMERPHOTOGRAPHY via Instagram

Correction: Stringham Schools, winner of Best Trade School, offers 120-hour real-estate sales agent courses. (Their Best of Utah story stated an incorrect number of hours.) The founders sold the school 12 years ago, and current owners say the school “continues to offer highquality education with personable staff that’s ‘like family.’” Its home-inspection courses are offered through a nationwide sister company, American Home Inspector’s Training.

THE BOX

What would you tell your 18-year-old self? Chris Vanocur Buy stock in Microsoft and Intel (was 18 years old in 1978). Scott Renshaw Your long-distance college relationship isn’t going to work, because they *never* work. Eric Granato Get your ass in an automotive tech trade school and stop dancing till 5 a.m. in dusty warehouses. Paula Saltas Travel the world while you are young, and do a study abroad program while in college. Buy land in Heber. Kelly Boyce Buy Bitcoin as soon as you hear about it and shave your sideburns—you look stupid. Tom Metos Take a few chances: Invest in Microsoft.

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Calling Mr. Cox D

to retire the award or name it in his honor—and the votes were cast and counted before Mike disgraced his faith by comparing the lascivious Trump with Captain Moroni and before he became an early adopter darling on the whacktoid conspiracy website Parler. But, didn’t Lee endorse Jon Huntsman Jr, for governor, you ask? Exactly. For thousands of Democrats who crossed the Rubicon and registered as Republican in order to have a meaningful vote in that primary, that was a bridge too far. I’m convinced Lee’s Huntsman endorsement cost Jon Jr. precious votes. And for that, Cox owes Swipe Lee a Sanpete County turkey of thanks. Meanwhile, Mr. Cox, I’ve assembled below messages that were sent to me in recent days from persons working in the Utah hospitality industry. It’s a mild understatement that Gary Herbert’s inactions are killing these folks. On July 1, the daily COVID-19 case count was 500. Since then, Herbert screwed up, and now hundreds have died. So, I’ve been asked to pass these messages on to you. If you’re up to it, I’ll walk you around town to meet these folks. They will not have a happy Thanksgiving, and they need your help—not homilies, but real help. Gary is a dead end. It’s on you now—the closures, the cases and the dying, too. There’s no reason to start the clock in January. Let’s start the clock now: “We have lost so much business because of the 10 p.m. thing. We are bleeding money, so hopefully gift cards will help?” “[The 10 p.m. closure] is a death knell on us. It’s worse than forcing 100% closure since we are now at 10% of 2019’s revenues but with no consumer confidence this year. I still have the full expenses: like rent and staff, and I still have to order food I don’t know if I can sell.” “The anti-maskers aren’t my clientele. They can go milk cows without a mask. I want my employees to be safe. [The

anti-maskers] scream about freedom, but they never come in. The just wave flags and scare people away.” “Herbert and Cox should tell their farmer friends to grow all the crops and feed all the animals with 80% less food and water. Let’s see how long they survive. That’s what they want us to do. They are killing us, but they want to brag about the economy.” “If we (the clubs and restaurants) are so bad, why wasn’t COVID spreading like it is now the past eight months? We had masks and social distance from Day 1. COVID wasn’t out of control, and it wasn’t us. They opened up [the state], and it’s a disaster. Now, they take it out on us.” “[Herbert] loosened home restrictions while keeping business restrictions. The data shows private social gatherings is where it’s being spread, not businesses. Thanks for putting the nail in the coffin for so many hospitality businesses. Herbie, you suck!” “‘Give me a great economy—or give me somebody else’s death.’—Gov. Herbert” “I’m completely appalled by the Cox/Herbert ignorance plus the disconnect in the Capital City and how they’re killing the culture. I am not W-2’d—I am the landlord (paid for out of my income), and I’ve not had income since March 1. I’ve depleted cash, PPP, rent grants and have little left. Shit show!” “We are down to four of 27 employees. My cook quit, so that’s cool; the others have full-time jobs, I think. Some are unemployed and can’t qualify for unemployment because they mostly work for tips. So, yeah, this is super-screwed.” “My restaurant did three covers total on a Friday night. Before the hours changed, we did 30, and we don’t stay open past 11, anyway. He scared everyone off. How can I pay my employees’ salaries at that level?” Happy Thanksgiving, Spencer, from the guts of Utah. CW Send comments to john@cityweekly.net

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uring this Thanksgiving season, I’m wondering who Governor-Elect Spencer Cox is thinking of. Is our next governor the embracing populist who so infatuated each side of the political aisle with his earnest posts on social media? Or is he just one more predictable homer for the big boys—the big business, church and rural interests that dominate every facet of Utah politics and policy? Is he another Gary Herbert, or Herbert-lite? Or is he Spencer James Cox, Fairview, Utah’s very own Mr. Smith, the idealist who will stand for right because it’s the right thing to do? Is Cox more bull or bull pucky? This is one rodeo Utahns like me have seen many times. Many disenfranchised Utahns—including yours truly—are taking potshots at Cox at nearly every turn. My own motive is to wake up Cox to the new reality that he is uniquely positioned to cement himself as a great Utah governor, a real unifier—not a paper llama. It’s fair to ask, “Why should Cox care about you, you fatassed Greek?” And the answer is that he doesn’t need to care about me—or the people who read this column. Nor those who mock him on Twitter, nor the ones who didn’t vote for him for governor—a half million persons all told. Cox was essentially elected governor in June when the results of the Republican primary were tallied. That’s his constituency. Now, he’s firmly ensconced right where his childhood hayloft dreams led him. We all know Cox is thankful for faith, family and flag. But when is Cox going to thank Utah Sen. Mike Lee for helping to send him over the top? Yeah, that Mike Lee, the guy who sent our page views through the roof when we posted that he’d won the Worst Utahn award in our annual Best of Utah issue. Creepy Mike got so many votes that we might have

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HITS&MISSES BY KATHARINE BIELE @kathybiele

Live Free (and Die)

Just a few days before Thanksgiving, the Daily Universe reported that some 30 anti-maskers gathered with signs and vitriol outside Brigham Young University President Kevin J. Worthen’s house. The question is why Worthen didn’t just offer them cookies and hot chocolate. This must be a wily strategic plan to mollify the angry masses—the ones who think it’s all about their right to risk not only their health but that of everyone around them. While Gov. Gary Herbert and Governor-elect Spencer Cox continue to pontificate about Utah values and plead with people to “be kind,” there has been virtually no debate about rights vs. responsibility. And of course, there is no real consequence to thumbing your nose at the government, because that would be mean. We have overcome these debates before with seat-belt and helmet laws, but those crises hinged more on insurance claims than others’ lives. Next time you bring out the cookies and chocolate, be sure to spike them with a bit of altruism.

Polluters Welcome

A growing global animal rights’ movement has led to a wave of activists’ prosecutions and has gained the attention of journalists like Ezra Klein. In October 2019, activists urged leaders to pass an international resolution called Rose’s Law, part of a proposed Animal Bill of Rights. The resolution demands the “right to rescue as factory farm whistleblowers face stiff legal consequences worldwide,” organizers say. Approximately 10 billion animals (not including fish and other sea animals) are killed annually to be eaten, and undercover investigations have found horrific mistreatment while the animals are still alive. Wear your red Rose’s Law T-shirt and join the It’s Not Food, It’s Violence Protest. Liberty Park, northeast corner, 600 E. 900 South, Saturday, Nov. 28, 10:30 a.m.-1 p.m., free. https://bit.ly/2UBeARo

How About Those Masks?

Now that Utah is pretty much an all-Republican stronghold, you may want to know what officials will do about COVID-19 and a mask mandate. The governor has enacted a new state of emergency but is being pressured by the emboldened right wing of his party. You can get a better view of the landscape with the Hinckley Report Mask Mandate & Newly Elected Officials. The podcast features Glen Mills, anchor and senior political correspondent with ABC4 Utah; Amy Donaldson, reporter with the Deseret News; and Matt Canham, managing editor of The Salt Lake Tribune. Virtual, any time, free. https://bit.ly/2UKwzF1

Birds and the Lake

You may be familiar with the increasing vulnerability of the Great Salt Lake—the encroaching developments, the landfills and, of course, climate change. “Great Salt Lake provides food and habitat to over 10 million migratory birds represented by 338 species,” say organizers of the Salty Science Series. There’s nothing typical about the lake and its ecology, as experts will tell you, discussing passages from Great Salt Lake Biology: A Terminal Lake in a Time of Change, a new book reframing the debate. Join the Great Salt Lake Is for the Birds! discussion moderated by GSLI coordinator Jaimi Butler with panelists Ashley Kijowskli and John Neill with Utah Division of Wildlife Resources, Audubon’s Ella Sorensen and USU grad student Mark Bell. Virtual, Thursday, Dec. 3, 6 p.m. https://bit.ly/3pEUT9u

Spirit of the Wild

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—KATHARINE BIELE Send tips to revolt@cityweekly.net

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For those who worship a higher power by communing with nature, there’s this webinar about “the spiritual value of wild places and how people of all faiths can join together as a powerful voice for the protection of public lands in Utah and across the West.” Join the Southern Utah Wilderness Society in a Wild Faith webinar, featuring Ernest Begay, a traditional counselor at Montezuma Creek Community Health Center; Fr. Steve Keplinger, of Grace St. Paul’s Episcopal Church in Arizona; and Anna Thurston, a research assistant for the Yale Forum on Ecology and Religion. “Each panelist comes from a unique faith background but their love for the Earth and Utah’s wilderness unites them.” Virtual, Wednesday, Dec. 2, 6-7 p.m., free. https://bit.ly/3nMDtpP

A recent Salt Lake Tribune report on Red Rock Canyon School looked at the “troubled teen” treatment centers that tend to deflect state supervision. The disturbing report described how Utah’s Office of Licensing signed off on complaints that teens were being abused for which it simply issued a warning and “demanded” changes that never came. And that was it—until the kids rioted. Operated by a for-profit company (like some prisons), Red Rock had a financial incentive to keep kids there longer and make sure they spoke glowingly of the program. The lack of strong government oversight, in fact, is a major reason not to privatize such services. The Tribune, struggling through the collapse of local journalism, is lucky to have tapped into the support provided by fellowships such as the one that helped produce this story.

Animal Rights Protest

The Kids Aren’t Alright

IN A WEEK, YOU CAN CHANGE THE WORLD

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Speaking of personal choice, how about we just let people pollute, and if they “choose” to breathe, well, they can buy an air purifier. That’s pretty much the argument from Rep. Stephen Handy, R-Layton, who’s proposing a bill to “allow for customer choice” by prohibiting municipalities from banning access to fossil fuels like natural gas, according to The Salt Lake Tribune. Utah is a friendly state to pollution of all kinds. A troubling application is being considered to import waste to an empty landfill near the Great Salt Lake. The Tribune highlighted past attempts by Promontory Point Resources to bring in waste and apparently cover up their real intent. But the state just loves the idea of filling up the empty lands by the lake, no matter what the cost to water quality, wildlife habitat or the environment.

CITIZEN REV LT

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Nez Perce Chief Joseph sat for this photo by John Fouch after a 400-mile forced march through Montana in 1877. The shirt he’s wearing was purchased in an art auction by billionaire and collector William Koch in 2012.

Sacred Homecoming

How an Idaho Nez Perce tribe got its valuable collection of artifacts back. By Jennifer K. Bauer Photos courtesy of The Plateau Peoples’ Web Portal Project

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Find Your Zen at Marissa’s Books 3302 S 900 E, Salt Lake City, UT 84106 www.marissasbooks.com

he first photograph ever taken of Chief Joseph was after a 400-mile forced march through Montana following the Nez Perce surrender at Bear Paw in 1877. Joseph sits tall, with a straightforward gaze. He wears a blue-beaded buckskin shirt. Today, that shirt is owned by billionaire and collector William Koch, who bought it in a Reno, Nevada, art auction for $877,500 in 2012. For Native Americans, the sale of Chief Joseph’s shirt is “like someone else trying to sell the Liberty Bell,” said Trevor J. Bond, associate dean for digital initiatives and special collections at Washington State University. But even that comparison can’t fully describe the meaning Native American artifacts from the past have for the descendants of those they belonged to, nor their struggle to reclaim them.

The fate of Chief Joseph’s shirt—sold to the highest bidder, bound for a private collection or behind glass in a distant museum—was nearly the fate of the Spalding-Allen Collection. The assortment of Nez Perce items has been cited as the earliest documented Native American artifacts from a specific time period in Plateau Indian history. “You can’t really think of it in terms of the way modern people think of clothing or heirlooms. It has a much deeper meaning to us,” said Nakia Williamson-Cloud, director of the Nez Perce Tribe’s cultural resources program. “These are living pieces amongst our community. They have a life in the community.” The tribe faced nearly overwhelming odds to get the Spalding-Allen Collection back. It took a public campaign, with everyone from school children to national celebrities contributing, to bring it home.

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Bag, deer-head shape, from the Spalding-Allen Collection

Woman’s elkhide dress from the SpaldingAllen Collection

Bison-hide horse crupper, part of the SpaldingAllen Collection

Severing Past from Present As America’s Indigenous peoples were forcibly removed from their homelands, settlers collected the remnants of their lives, everything from baskets and moccasins to skulls severed from bodies in ancient burial grounds. They were called curiosities and relics and were bartered, sold, studied and put on display. Because white settlers viewed their culture as superior, Native beliefs and customs were rarely considered. “A lot of the collections came to be at that point in time where there was the thought across the nation, especially in the institutions of higher learning, that we were no longer going to be here. That was the beginning of anthropology in the U.S.; let’s document these people because they’re not going to be here in another 100 years,” Williamson-Cloud said. Williamson-Cloud’s work with the tribe includes the repatriation of remains. He was part of Plateau tribes’ efforts to reclaim the 9,000-year-old body of the person scientists named the Kennewick Man. Tribes called him The Ancient One and reburied him in 2017, after a 20-year legal battle with scientists. Scientists and officials at other institutions, like museums, often draw lines between the people of the past and the people of today, he said. “All of this is wrapped up together; that’s our experience as a people.” The Spalding-Allen Collection came together during work to split the Nez Perce people from their traditional ways of life. It was collected by Presbyterian missionary Henry Spalding, who arrived in the Lapwai area in 1836 to convert the Nez Perce to Christianity. In 1846, Spalding shipped an array of Nez Perce clothing, accessories and horse gear to a supporter, Dr. Dudley Allen of Kinsman, Ohio, in exchange for materials for his mission. Trevor Bond began researching the collection’s journey in 2009, as part of a dissertation on the ethics of acquiring, curating and selling Native American cultural history. “The big question is, who really owns collections like this, especially when the circumstances of the collection being established were problematic?” said Bond, author of the forthcoming book, Coming Home: The Campaign of the Nez Perce Tribe to Repatriate the Spalding-Allen Collection, to be published by WSU Press. “The real rub with some members of the tribe is that Spalding is gathering these things up at the same time he’s telling Nez Perce they need to stop wearing traditional clothing, cut their hair, stop their seasonal rounds, farm and become like European Americans. It’s a bit of hypocrisy there in that he’s saying these Native customs are bad and yet is taking this magnificent material culture and shipping it off across the country.” Whether or not Spalding was given the items, traded for them or paid for them is one of the questions asked in a discussion on ethical collecting. In a letter to Allen, Spalding gives an estimated value of each item so that Dudley can send the same amount in goods back, Bond said. He does not say how he acquired them. “It’s pretty laughable to think he actually paid for them,” said Williamson-Cloud. Spalding strongly disapproved of Nez Perce material culture. Based on Nez Perce knowledge, he was burning traditional clothing at the time. “You can bet he was condemning

those things to the original owners.” Ironically, Spalding “inadvertently and almost naively preserved these items when a lot of other items from this time period have fallen by the wayside.” The items remained in Allen’s home for decades, until his son donated them to Oberlin College, which loaned them to the Ohio Historical Society in 1942 for safekeeping. They were never put on display there. Nez Perce National Historical Park curators discovered the collection’s existence in 1976. After negotiations, the society agreed to loan most of the collection to the park service for renewable one-year time periods, which brought it back to the tribe in Idaho, at least temporarily. In 1993, the society abruptly demanded the collection be returned to Ohio. The society had obtained the title for the collection and was the legal owner. Once the society became the owner, it would only sell the collection at its full appraised value, Bond said. The price was $608,100, with a six-month deadline to provide the money. Believing that if the collection was returned to Ohio it would be sold to a private collector and never seen again, the tribe agreed. After negotiations, the campaign kicked off January 1996.

A Living Record

A woman’s soft, white elk-hide dress detailed with dentalium shells, glass beads and elk teeth is among the items in the Spalding-Allen Collection. The decorations signified family symbols or trademarks that held “special meaning” to the makers, according to remarks by Allen Slickpoo Sr. in 1995. The dress was not an everyday garment but was made exclusively for special occasions. It was sacred. The fine fringe on the dress shows its age, noted Linda Paisano in another remark. Fringe could only be cut that thin with obsidian. Contemporary dresses made today with scissors cannot duplicate it. Their comments are included with photos of the collection, which can be viewed online at the Plateau Peoples’ Web Portal. The dress is more than an heirloom or a work of handicraft. It’s a living record, said Williamson-Cloud. “The reason we carry on with, to some on the outside, outdated things and ways, is there’s a value that’s there in the importance of those items that were passed down by the elders.” The dress relates to the first laws, “to the time when our people were placed here,” he said, when time changed from the time of the animal people to the time of the humans. “The second one to stand up for us was the deer. He would provide meat and clothing. We had nothing, nothing to protect ourselves. The deer and the other ungulates, bighorn sheep, elk—that was their sacrifice to us,” he said. “Something as simple as a buckskin dress reaffirms our identity, our lineage, our connection to the land and how it is connected to us. It is a reciprocal relationship to us.” Items were handed down through successive generations as a representation of lin-

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Moccasins, Spalding-Allen Collection

Nez Perce woman’s saddle, from the Spalding-Allen Collection

Man’s hide shirt from the SpaldingAllen Collection

eage, commitment and responsibility, he said. Because the tribe did not have a written language, its members used these things as a way to recite and remember their family, tribal and inner-tribal relationships and stories. They have a life of their own. “Once they’re curated, filed away in a box, put on display, they lose a little of that sometimes. If they’re in the area, they’re in the context of all this broader understanding I’m trying to relate.” This give-and-take relationship with the land is Nez Perce culture, said WilliamsonCloud. This is one reason the Nez Perce have fought to protect the environment and their right to fish, hunt and gather. “We’re not trying to preserve the land and resources for the sake of doing it, we’re preserving ourselves and our unique identity.” For generations, Native people have been told that everything they knew has no value anymore, he said. “The broader society can’t even conceptualize what that is like. I think other minority groups understand it, though. That’s why things are happening the way they are right now.” Museums have played a role in this by collecting and preserving items for Indigenous cultures with no buy-in from the people they are representing.

Righting History Raising $608,100 in six months seemed impossible to many. The tribe and the Nez Perce National Historical Park signed an agreement in which the tribe took the lead in fundraising efforts while the park service provided support, Bond said. An economic development strategist, Tom Hudson of Moscow, Idaho, was hired to lead fundraising. They created one of the first websites with various groups sponsoring different items in the collection. Hudson came up with the idea of asking classrooms across America to pledge $57.90, the amount Spalding gave to Dudley as an estimate of the item’s value. The campaign soon gained national attention. Thousands of people donated. School children collected pennies. Groups held car washes. Corporations donated large sums. As the deadline approached, major rock bands, including Pearl Jam, Soundgarden and Alice in Chains, made public announcements on MTV and donated signed memorabilia to be auctioned at local benefits. “It was a pretty big movement. That was a pretty neat thing for the tribe and the community,” said Williamson-Cloud, who, at the time, was a student intern at the park where he made detailed technical drawings of the collection in case the tribe lost possession. The shipping crates were set up when, a few hours before the deadline, they reached the goal.

Afterward, Hudson told the Lewiston Tribune the odds of raising that much money in time had seemed insurmountable. “I thought, if I failed, I would have failed a lot of people. I would have failed history.” His motivation, and the motivation of a lot of people, was “to right a wrong,” Hudson told the newspaper. “Many people were outraged that the tribe should have to pay to get back their own historical artifacts.” “To have those garments survive and be away from home for so long and then come back is just very powerful,” said Bond. “I think it shows (the Nez Perce) savvy and dynamic advocacy for doing what’s right and protecting their culture and history.” Today, the collection is on loan from the tribe to the park service. Pieces from the collection are centerpieces in the exhibit at the Nez Perce National Historical Park Spalding Visitor Center on the Nez Perce Reservation. Bond viewed the items up close with a group from the tribe when the entire collection was being photographed. “The items themselves just have this energy and power that comes out, especially when people are talking about it and engaging with the collection. It kind of brings chills, this energy. It goes back to how important it is for these items to be with the communities,” Bond said. “By and large, thousands of Americans agreed they belonged to the tribe and that they should stay in Idaho.” CW

IF YOU GO

What: Items from the Spalding-Allen Collection Where: Nez Perce National Historical Park Visitor Center at Spalding, 39063 U.S. Highway 95, Lapwai, Idaho When: Temporarily closed due to COVID, but when reopen, the hours are 8:30 a.m. to 4 p.m. daily For center updates, visit: nps.gov/nepe/planyourvisit/conditions.htm Of note: Items from the Spalding-Allen collection can be viewed online at: plateauportal.libraries.wsu.edu/collections Jennifer K. Bauer is the editor of Inland 360, a weekly culture magazine for north Idaho and eastern Washington, where this article first appeared in the August 12, 2020.

Hemp and cornhusk flat storage bag, from the Spalding-Allen Collection

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Duty and others. Even when his five minutes of fame appeared to have expired, Shore turned his rapid descent into the self-deprecating mockumentary Pauly Shore is Dead. Now, however, he’s back in the milieu that first introduced him to the world. Shore visits Wiseguys Gateway (194 S. 400 West, wiseguyscomedy.com) Nov. 27-28 for shows at 7 p.m. & 9:30 p.m. each day, $25 per ticket, with socially-distanced limited seating. (Scott Renshaw)

The COVID pandemic has shown itself to be utterly lacking in sentiment, so the fact that 2020 marks the 50th installment of Utah’s muchloved Festival of Trees didn’t mean that it would suddenly be okay to hold an indoor event that regularly welcomes thousands of attendees. But it also doesn’t mean that the Festival of Trees won’t be taking place, as the organizers took a cue from many other 2020 events and found a way to turn it into a safe, virtual event that the whole family can enjoy, while still supporting its great cause. Once again, the Festival of Trees supports the work of Intermountain Health Care’s Primary Children’s Hospital, largely through an auction of holidaythemed items. That silent auction takes place online this year, beginning Tuesday, Dec. 1 at 8 p.m., featuring marvelously decorated trees, wreaths, centerpieces, Nativity sets and much more. The online store also offers quilts, sweet treats, crafts, clothing and other items, all supporting the work of the charity. Kids (and playful grownups) can even take advantage of the chance to decorate their own

“We are excited to show some new features, new songs, new foods, and more. Our crew has outdone themselves and we are excited to show everyone.” The magic of Luminaria has even attracted the attention of ABC’s holiday series The Great Christmas Light Fight, premiering Dec. 9. If you want to experience the spectacle in person, visit thanksgivingpoint.org/luminaria for a variety of ticketing options (including VIP, fire pit reservations and more) and COVID safety procedures, and plan to dress warmly. (SR)

Repertory Dance Theatre: Flying Solo

virtual tree or Zoom with Santa at the festival website. The event culminates in a live-streamed broadcast on Friday, Dec. 4 at 7 p.m., from Vivint SmartHome Arena, wrapping up the silent auction as well as several live performances and appearances by special guests (TBD at press time). Visit makegoodgrow.com to shop or bid on the silent auction items, and for the full schedule of events and activities, to be part of this special and very unique 50th anniversary celebration. (SR)

A season-opening collaboration with Ririe-Woodbury Dance Company allowed Repertory Dance Theatre to get their feet under them in terms of adjusting to a virtual dance performance. But while Double Take’s multidancer pieces required masks for a safe performance, RDT is turning to a format that allows dancers to perform with all the expressiveness that’s possible in the human face: a solo. Flying Solo’s program includes multiple works from the company’s existing repertory catalog, including choreography by Ted Shawn, José Limón, Daniel Nagrin, Molly Heller, Sharee Lane, Nicholas Cendese and Zvi Gotheiner. On top of that, RDT presents the world-premiere of Marina Harris’s Remote, created as Harris worked with dancers via Zoom from her home in Nova Scotia. RDT artistic director Linda C. Smith believes that Flying Solo provides a unique opportunity for audience members to focus on the skills and choices of

SHARON KAIN

Virtual Festival of Trees

If your neighbors decided to put up Christmas lights earlier than ever before, or leave them up longer, nobody better be giving them any crap about it. We’re looking for joy where we can find it, and for a lot of people, that means the beautiful lights of the holiday season. So much the better if you can find a glorious display of those lights in an outdoor setting. This year, Luminaria: Experience the Light returns to Thanksgiving Point’s Ashton Gardens (3900 Garden Dr., Lehi, thanksgivingpoint. org) for the fifth year, with a spectacular array of nearly 3 million lights set to 25 “beats” along a pathway of more than a mile. Individual areas include the Merry Mosaic of 6,500 programmable luminaries, Himalayan Heights, and a Light of the World garden representing events in the life of Jesus Christ. At the Luminaria Village, visitors can find food options, interactive games, fire pits and a warming tent. “This year has been tough on us all,” says Thanksgiving Point signature experiences director Austin Brown via press release.

THANKSGIVING POINT

HOLLY PARKER

There are a lot of directions Pauly Shore’s life might have gone; after all, his siblings didn’t all go into stand-up comedy. But when you grow up literally surrounded by some of the legends of comedy—as Pauly did, since his mother Mitzi Shore’s Los Angeles landmark The Comedy Store birthed the careers of legends like Jim Carrey, David Letterman, Roseanne Barr, Damon Wayans and Sam Kinison— there’s a better-than-average shot that some of it might end up rubbing off on you. And so it was that a 17-yearold Pauly Shore made his stand-up debut at a neighboring Southern California club in 1985, creating a surfer-dude alter-ego known as “The Weasel.” What wasn’t at all inevitable was that Shore would parlay his foot in the show-biz door into becoming an almost ubiquitous pop-culture fixture in the late 1980s and early 1990s. From his breakout opportunity as a VJ and host of his own show Totally Pauly on MTV, he was launched into comedy movie stardom with a succession of vehicles built around his persona: Encino Man, In the Army Now, Jury

Complete listings online at cityweekly.net

Thanksgiving Point: Luminaria

Pauly Shore

COURTESY PHOTO

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ESSENTIALS

the

ENTERTAINMENT PICKS, NOVEMBER 26-DECEMBER 2, 2020

individual performers. “The RDT dancers are skilled artists, but don’t often get an opportunity to perform solos,” Smith says via email. “When you watch a dance featuring more than one person, you see choreography, group design, relationships and atmosphere that is more communal in nature. … A soloist can show off their individual characteristics and the audience has an opportunity to focus on the details of a singular voice.” The streaming performance premieres Saturday, Nov. 28 at 7:30 p.m. MT, with tickets $15. Guests are also invited to a virtual reception on Tuesday, Dec. 1 at 6:30 p.m., to join RDT dancers to discuss the show. Visit rdtutah. org for tickets and additional details. (SR)

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Support creators and organizations that believe in the value of the arts. BY SCOTT RENSHAW scottr@cityweekly.net @scottrenshaw

t’s a strange holiday season we have ahead of us, as the desire to embrace the spirit of Christmas collides with existential dread over rising COVID-19 case numbers, and the breathless anticipation for when this nightmare of a presidency will finally end. Somewhere in the midst of all this, we’ll still want to share gifts with our friends and family— but maybe we’re more inclined to do so in a way that has deeper meaning. As 2020 has rocked the arts economically, it’s worth considering all the ways that you can support creative work—and the organizations creators depend on—in your holiday-gift-giving. Here are just a few examples of the ways local businesses and creators can share in a seasonal celebration of our highest aspirations. Utah Pride Center & Clever Octopus present “Not Yo’ Mama’s Winter Market”: Second-hand craft supply retailer Clever Octopus and Utah Pride Center team up for a virtual version of the craft market originally launched as a two-day in-person event in 2019. More than 30 local creators of cards, jewelry, clothing, visual art, block prints, personal hygiene products and more participate in this online showcase, running now through Dec. 18. It’s an opportunity to support local artists and find one-of-a-kind items, and every participating artist also provided work that will be

A&E

COURTESY PHOTO

The Gift of Art

auctioned off in support of the programs of Utah Pride Center. Visit cleveroctopus.org/ winter-market to browse and buy. Craft Lake City Holiday Market: Continuing a year-round process of supporting local artists and artisans, Craft Lake City has developed a two-tiered program for the holiday season. For those who prefer to do their shopping virtually, the online Holiday Market continues through Nov. 30 at craftlakecity.com/holiday-market, with nearly 50 participating vendors sharing their clothing, craft art, jewelry and other items, with direct links to online shopping. If you’re okay with heading out into the real world, a live version of the Holiday Market will be held at The Monarch (455 25th St., Ogden) on Friday, Dec. 4 (4-10 p.m.) and Saturday, Dec. 5 (11 a.m.-5 p.m.), with more than 80 Utah-based artisans on-hand. Strict attendee limits will be enforced, so interested visitors are required to sign-up for a two-hour registration slot at craftlakecity.com, and encouraged to browse vendors online in order to make the best use of that limited time. An entry fee (TBD amount at press time) will be required. Pioneer Theatre Company “Ticket to Feel” Gift Card: Some performing arts organizations have found a way to invite patrons back to their theater spaces; others have not, and the impact of those closures hits not just the performers, but support staff, technicians and many others. Pioneer Theatre Company has been finding creative fund-raising methods throughout the pandemic, and now invites those who support their work to keep PTC afloat and get an amazing bargain in the process. “Ticket to Feel” gift cards—supported by the Governor’s Office of Economic Development “Shop in Utah” program—allows folks to purchase cards towards future Pioneer Theatre Company season tickets or individual performance tickets at a value of double the purchase price: $25 for a card worth $50 in tickets, $50 for $100 in tickets, and so on. There’s no expiration date on cashing in your card, so no matter how long it is until the Pioneer Memorial Theatre

opens once again, you’ll be ready to join in. Visit tickets.pioneertheatre.org or call the box office at 801-581-6961. The King’s English Bookshop, Weller Book Works and Ken Sanders Rare Books: Remember back when Amazon was just a place to purchase books—and instantly became a threat to the very existence of local, independent booksellers? Stalwart local businesses survived years of price undercutting by the online behemoth, only to face the additional damage caused by the pandemic. If you’re looking for reading material for someone on your shopping list, and you want to support the businesses that have always had the backs of local authors, give your attention—and your dollars—first to these folks. The King’s English (kingsenglish.com), Weller Book Works (wellerbookworks.com) and Ken Sanders Rare Books (kensandersbooks) are still doing business, each of them ap-

Vendor at 2019 Craft Lake City Holiday Market proaching online vs. in-person service in a slightly different way. Visit the websites for gift recommendations and ongoing updates about services offered. Utah Arts Festival Virtual Holiday Show: If you really missed your opportunity to browse the vendor booths at the Utah Arts Festival this summer, you can still buy the kind of wonderful work that you’d love to have on your walls, your tables or even your body. Now through Dec. 19, visit uaf. org/holiday-show to purchase art from local creators across a wide variety of media, from mixed media and painting to ceramics and textiles. Peruse the available offerings from more than 20 participating artists, and put a little creative light under someone’s Christmas tree. Maybe even your own. CW

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This year, take it easy and just have a damn sandwich. BY ALEX SPRINGER comments@cityweekly.net @captainspringer

bie. I had never been to Capriotti’s before, but I had to check out a place that was so spiritually aligned with my holiday sandwich quest. After sampling The Bobbie—a sub with pulled turkey, cranberry spread, mayo and scoops of turkey stuffing—I must say this is a contender. Turkey and cranberry are tasty year-round, but if you’re after a sandwich that smacks you in the face with Thanksgiving, this is your endgame for a few reasons. They have the pulled turkey, which always edges out sliced turkey in my book. Also, the stuffing—while not stellar—adds a crucial level of herbaceous flavor and extra starch one would expect from Thanksgiving leftovers. It may not be the best overall sandwich here, but it just might be the best Thanksgiving sandwich on this list. CW

playing a supporting role. Their version has sliced turkey, a generous heap of decent cranberry spread, mayo … and that’s it. I call this risky because, while it does taste good, it’s playing to the hope that the diner will be transfixed by the soft white bread— luxurious as a Van der Hilst pillow—and pay little mind to the ingredients within. While I admit that there are times when I want the bread around the sandwich more than the sandwich as a whole, it doesn’t feel quite right for the holidays. However, if your Thanksgiving journey requires something a bit more unorthodox, then it could be right up your alley. Capriotti’s Sandwich Shop (Multiple locations, capriottis.com): Capriotti’s is a national chain of sub shops that made a name for itself with none other than a turkey cranberry sandwich known as The Bob-

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oliday season 2020 is officially upon us, and I’m guessing the ol’ pandemic has thrown a wrench in the gears of more than a few planned gatherings. It’s difficult to muster up the motivation to cook up a big spread and entertain family members even as Utah isn’t surging with COVID-19 cases, but this year such a thing is downright irresponsible. If I may offer some advice, I’d tell you to give yourself a free pass this year. Throw all the prepping, dish washing and quality time that forces you to endure that uncle you hate and that cousin that’s trying to steal your identity out the window this year while planting your feet firmly on the high ground. “But what to eat?” I hear you say. You need something festive, but convenient. I get it. You also need something that perfectly embodies Thanksgiving in the year of our Lord two thousand and twenty. Ladies and gentlemen, I present for your consideration the humble turkey cranberry sandwich. It’s the perfect fistful of lowmaintenance holiday flavor, and I think that’s what we all need right now. I scoured the Wasatch Front for the finest iteration, and here are the results. Robin’s Nest ( 311 S. Main Street, 801-4666378, facebook.com/robinsnestslc): Any local sandwich quest is incomplete without a trip to this downtown favorite. Robin’s Nest has variations on most of the American sandwich lexicon, and The Gobbler is their tribute to this Thanksgiving favorite. It’s a

ALEX SPRINGER

Fall Break

sliced turkey number, piled high with melted provolone, avocado, lettuce, mayo and a homemade cranberry spread, all crammed between two slices of perfect ciabatta. Like most sandwiches at Robin’s Nest, this one is a flavor knockout—each one of those elements shows up to tickle the tongue at precisely the right moment. This is the only one on the list to use avocado, which adds yet another layer of creaminess to the show. While I love the buttery consistency that The Gobbler has from crust to crust, I do like my turkey cranberry sandwich to have a bit more textural diversity—which is a great excuse to ask them to throw some bacon into the mix for you. Kneaders (Multiple locations, kneaders. com): This one has long been my go-to turkey cranberry sandwich—mostly because there’s a Kneaders really close to where I live, and I’m lazy. It still holds up when compared it to other contenders on this list, however. It’s served on a croissant, which lets the principal flavors stand out since they’re not squashed between two thick slices of bread. Kneaders also doesn’t screw around with their turkey—this stuff is also hand-pulled and always tastes fresh. The turkey component is the foundation of this sandwich, and this is where Kneaders really shines. Their cranberry spread, on the other hand, becomes the weakest link. It’s got a subtle sweetness, but it doesn’t do a whole lot more to remind you that it’s made from cranberries, since it lacks the tart teeth that best complements the turkey. I feel that if Kneaders upped their cranberry game, this sandwich could be the Frank Dux of this turkey cranberry Kumite. Village Baker (Multiple locations, villagebakerfood.com): Village Baker has taken a risky bet with their turkey cranberry sandwich, and while I respect it, I don’t know if it quite makes the grade. It’s the kind of sandwich place where the bread, delicious as it is, comes in gigantic slabs, making the sandwich interior feel like it’s

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If you’re thinking of having one of our local restaurants do the heavy lifting for Thanksgiving this year, here are a few options. Make sure to call beforehand to see if each restaurant is still accepting offers or reservations. Silver Fork Lodge and Restaurant (11332 Big Cottonwood Canyon Road, 801-533-9977, silverforklodge.com): This Brighton Ski Resort favorite is offering dine-in and carryout options this year. For dine-in, visitors can enjoy a buffetstyle meal with all the Thanksgiving favorites. They are also offering carryout family-style meals that can be perused on their website. Gourmandise (Multiple locations, gourmandise.com): Gourmandise will be offering take-out meals that include brined turkey breast, cornbread stuffing, green bean casserole and roasted veggies. It’s enough food for ten, though you’ll still likely have some leftovers. Franck’s (6263 Holladay Boulevard, 801-274-6264, francksfood.com): Franck’s is also offering dine-in and carryout options this year. Dine-in requires reservations and will feature deliciousness such as wagyu beef tenderloin tataki, citrus glazed black cod, cider-brined turkey steak and white chocolate panna cotta. For takeout, Franck’s will offer an appetizer and dessert spread. Kaiser’s Barbeque (962 S. 300 West, 801-355-0499, saltlakebbq.com): Our local Texas barbecue enthusiasts at Kaiser’s are featuring mesquite or oak-smoked turkeys with a variety of homemade sauces for the main course of your own Thanksgiving feast. Tuscany (2832 E. 6200 South, 801-2779919, tuscanyslc.com): Another Cottonwood Heights favorite, Tuscany is offering a multi-course Thanksgiving feast for dine-in. Standouts of the menu include herb-roasted turkey, honey-glazed ham and a dessert of not one but three pies—apple, pumpkin and pecan. Provisions ( 3364 S. 2300 East, 801410-4046, slcprovisions.com): Provisions will be offering a dine-in, three-course meal with a choice of starter, entrée and dessert. They also offer a Thanksgiving takeout dinner packed with holiday favorites. The Store (Multiple locations, thestoreutah.com): The Store is offering a few different pre-made meal plates for Thanksgiving. In addition to their Thanksgiving meal kits that can feed anywhere from 10 to 25 people, they will also be offering fruit, veggie, shrimp and meat plates.

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Moab Brewing 686 S. Main, Moab TheMoabBrewery.com On Tap: Bougie Johnny’s

Silver Reef 4391 S. Enterprise Drive, St. George StGeorgeBev.com

Bewilder Brewing 445 S. 400 West, SLC BewilderBrewing.com On Tap: Cranberry Lime Sour Ale

Mountain West Cider 425 N. 400 West, SLC MountainWestCider.com On Tap: Desolation

Squatters 147 W. Broadway, SLC Squatters.com

Bohemian Brewery 94 E. Fort Union Blvd, Midvale BohemianBrewery.com Bonneville Brewery 1641 N. Main, Tooele BonnevilleBrewery.com On Tap: Peaches and Cream Ale Desert Edge Brewery 273 Trolley Square, SLC DesertEdgeBrewery.com On Tap: Fresh Brewed UPA

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Epic Brewing Co. 825 S. State, SLC EpicBrewing.com On Tap: Sextuple Big Bad Baptist Fisher Brewing Co. 320 W. 800 South, SLC FisherBeer.com On Tap: Red Ale Grid City Beer Works 333 W. 2100 South, SLC GridCityBeerWorks.com On Tap: Extra Pale Ale Hopkins Brewing Co. 1048 E. 2100 South, SLC HopkinsBrewingCompany.com On Tap: Sugar House Pilsner Hoppers Grill and Brewing 890 E. Fort Union Blvd, Midvale HoppersBrewPub.com Kiitos Brewing 608 W. 700 South, SLC KiitosBrewing.com Level Crossing Brewing Co. 2496 S. West Temple, South Salt Lake LevelCrossingBrewing.com On Tap: In The Pines Hazy Pale Ale

Ogden River Brewing 358 Park Blvd, Ogden OgdenRiverBrewing.com Policy Kings Brewery 223 N. 100 West, Cedar City PolicyKingsBrewery.com Proper Brewing 857 S. Main, SLC ProperBrewingCo.com On Tap: Veni, Vidi, Bibi: Italian Pilsner Red Rock Brewing Multiple Locations RedRockBrewing.com On Tap: Secale

Strap Tank Brewery Multiple Locations StrapTankBrewery.com TF Brewing 936 S. 300 West, SLC TFBrewing.com On Tap: Straight STRATA Pale Ale Talisman Brewing Co. 1258 Gibson Ave, Ogden TalismanBrewingCo.com On Tap: 7th Wonder Pale Ale Toasted Barrel Brewery 412 W. 600 North, SLC ToastedBarrelBrewery.com

RoHa Brewing Project 30 Kensington Ave, SLC RoHaBrewing.com On Tap: Thursday IPA in Crowlers

Uinta Brewing 1722 S. Fremont Drive, SLC UintaBrewing.com On Tap: Was Angeles Craft Beer

Roosters Brewing Multiple Locations RoostersBrewingCo.com On Tap: Cosmic Autumn Rebellion

UTOG 2331 Grant Ave, Ogden UTOGBrewing.com On Tap: Son of a Peach Hefe

SaltFire Brewing 2199 S. West Temple, South Salt Lake SaltFireBrewing.com On Tap: Barrel Aged Baltic Porter

Vernal Brewing 55 S. 500 East, Vernal VernalBrewing.com

Salt Flats Brewing 2020 Industrial Circle, SLC SaltFlatsBeer.com On Tap: Seasonal Winter Amber Shades Brewing 154 W. Utopia Ave, South Salt Lake ShadesBrewing.beer On Tap: Peach Cobbler

Wasatch 2110 S. Highland Drive, SLC WasatchBeers.com Zion Brewery 95 Zion Park Blvd, Springdale ZionBrewery.com Zolupez 205 W. 29th Street #2, Ogden Zolupez.com

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adly, that big middle finger that 2020 has been sticking in our faces will extend to Thanksgiving Day, jamming up another of our social traditions. If you find yourself detached from friends and family this year, a special beer may help ease your isolation while spicing up an otherwise traditional meal. So, if you’re looking for some full-flavored cheer, look no further. Proper - Coward’s Fist: Pours a murky honey-amber with a dense appearance of creamy froth. Sharp aromas of distilled spirits are clean but piquant, as a tingle in the nose comes with the scent of citrus, potpourri, pine and caramel. That aspect of caramel spreads across the tongue with a nutty, toasty, granola-like maltiness. The similarities in taste that are shared by both Pacific Northwest hops and juniper berries start with citrus and end with pine nearly to a tee. Even the botanical character of gin suggests that a marriage with hop perfumes would be seamless. A gradual release of sweetness keeps the hops and barrel contributions supported, even as the ale prefers a drying track. Meanwhile, the hoppy flavors of pink grapefruit, orange peel and lime quickly develop into the quintessential bitterness of pine, grassiness and pepper. Dry oak, bitter herbs and spicy heather tease and taunt the late palate with botanical heat. Full-bodied and finishing bittersweet, the hops and barrel spirits outlast the caramelized malt for a forceful punch of prickling alcohol. Overall: The hops—from aroma to palate to bitter finish—were certainly less

potent than when fresh, but there was not the slightest hint of staleness. The gin barrels added a remarkable complement to the profile, as well. I’ve recently become reacquainted with gin, and this adds a flowery/ sage character that blends perfectly with the base beer. Pair this Spicy IPA with turkey and stuffing sandwich leftovers. Level Crossing - Red Sea Rift: This coffee-infused imperial stout has a jet-black body with copper-colored foam that dissipates to a thin film on the surface. Rich, thick coffee and chocolate aromas are strong here, like when you mix a packet of cocoa powder into a fresh cup of coffee— medium roast with slight fruit tones and some rich earthiness, underneath a very light char and smoke. Also, you might note some rich chocolate syrup and a malt character similar to malted milk balls in there. Following the nose, there’s mediumroast coffee (earthy, moderately fruity and floral underneath the roast), creamy, rich chocolate (like dark chocolate mousse), plus citrusy and floral tones (orange peel, fresh-cut flowers and lemon peel) which could either be hops or the coffee. Underneath it all, there’s some smooth malt character from the oats, lending an earthy, brown-sugar oatmeal cookie sweetness. It’s chilling out there beneath all that coffee and chocolate, but it adds an excellent depth, and acts as an outstanding base for the coffee, citrus and creamy chocolate components overhead. A modest booze note creeps in, but it fits the style and blends in extremely well. Overall: What an incredibly enjoyable beer. It’s got depth, it’s got complexity, it’s got body and character. It’s plenty bold, and it doesn’t sacrifice any of these things in the name of anything gimmicky. It doesn’t redefine the style or anything, but man oh man, I’m pretty sure it nails whatever it set out to do. Really, this is a quality, high-value Imperial Stout that could seriously convert neophytes to the dark side. I’d pair this with bourbon pecan pie, pumpkin pie or a creamy fruit salad. Actually, I think these two ales will pair perfectly with leftovers, so seek them out and hunker down for a long, quiet weekend. You’ll find them at their respective breweries, but note that they will be closed on the holiday. As always, cheers! CW

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COVID isolation got you down? These big beers will ease your woes.

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Coping Through COVID

Finding music in unusual places while fighting off the ’rona.

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ust like so many other people in Utah nowadays, your music editor has the ‘rona. It’s been blessedly easy so far, with no loss of taste or smell, but a definite loss of normal habits, like listening to music in my typical fashion. Below is a log of how I’ve dealt with the uncanny experience of harboring the killer virus while restlessly bobbing around my apartment. Feel more than free to borrow my coping mechanisms. With Television – If your COVID is mild like mine has been, it’s just like having a wicked cold, in that silence buzzes in harmony with your exhaustion, and turning on some television is easier than selecting a record to listen to when it comes to filling the sound void. Just after viewing my positive test result, already on day five of persistently coughing, I was suckered in by one of Netflix’s new shitty holiday movies, Holidate. Holi-

day movies like this one have a particularly soothing quality, the familiar aesthetic and music recalling the simplicity of childhood. Holidate’s best musical moment though—which made me look up from my miserable phone scrolling— comes by way of an unabashed copycat moment ripped from Dirty Dancing—the iconic flying lift scene, soundtracked by the sensual classic “(I’ve Had) The Time Of My Life.” The frequency with which that moment is referenced in pop culture—2011’s Crazy, Stupid, Love does it too—might cheapen the song, but it’s still an enduringly good one to be reminded of, even when you have COVID and you are not having the time of your life. It also calls to mind the song “Nobody Puts Baby In The Corner,” by early aughts emo act Fall Out Boy, off the first CD I ever owned, at age 10, From Under the Cork Tree—and my first actual encounter with that iconic Dirty Dancing line. With Chores – Quarantining with a boyfriend who has lesser symptoms than you, more capacity to do dishes, and the awareness to point out how much TV you’re both consuming is quite good for a household in lockdown. When it came time to peel myself off the couch to fold laundry, I turned towards hyperpop to wake me up—specifically, Charlie XCX’s pandemic-produced how i’m feeling now, an album my boyfriend and I were reminiscing about listening to back in the early pandemic days. As it turns out, listening to hyperpop while COVID tries its damndest to weigh down your ability

The Love Interest in Holidate Getting Ready for the Dirty Dancing Lift to move and function is bizarre. After finally hanging up all the blouses and folding all the pants that had lain for days on my floor, I laid myself out where the pile had been, totally spent. Meanwhile, the trippy track “c2.0” bounced around me, as I considered the possibility of my Corona case taking a turn for the worse, and what it would be like to lay in a hospital dying— but in my COVID-adled brain, it was a vision soundtracked by Charli, which made it funny. Morbid? I have COVID still as I write this, so I maintain the right to relay my stupid, virusinfected fantasies. With Spotify’s Dread Autoplay Feature – With no live shows for enjoying either new or already-adored music, streaming has become my most reliable source of music-eating. And my preferred streaming has shifted too, from Spotify and its odious, never-changing algorithms and repetitive autoplay feature, to the more manual operation that is Bandcamp, which requires more intentional music discovery. However, it’s hard to be intentional when COVID has a grip on your brain, so a return to Spotify meant letting autoplay take over. While lounging zombie-like on opposite ends of my big black couch, my boyfriend and I let a Rilo Kiley album end and give way to a Spotifygenerated, early aughts-filled queue of songs. In the spirit of passive discovery, I let Bright Eyes songs warble over us, even

though I hate Conor Oberstanything, and we both took guesses at which songs were Jenny Lewis and which Niko Case. It was like bingeing the years 2000 to 2005. With Radio – When even streaming becomes too much of a choice-burden, community radio has your back. As I wrote this, I chose to slip into the lull of another person’s decisions, switching between the tropicalia, jazz, funk and soul inclinations of KUA A (kuaafm. org) and KRCL’s Midday and Afternoon shows (krcl.org). The latter programs are often an incongruous mix of genres, delivering surprises that are also blissfully out of my hands and in those of the DJs, with their soothingly familiar voices. Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds ceded to back-to-back tracks by The Verve, reminding me of when my Peruvian ex-boyfriend said that the band gained a tardy popularity there when he was a teen. For its part, KUA A’s programming makes me wistful for the DJ pals I knew while working part-time at a party bar last year. Gen X dudes with deep knowledge of the kinds of obscure World music KUA A often favors, their selections on slow nights were always groovy, their conversation always educational. I long for the day I can sip a cocktail in a bar, one of those DJs spinning vinyl from a corner—but in the meantime, KRCL’s spinning Big Star, and I’m about to sip some soup instead. CW

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Sophie Blair’s Debut EP Arteries

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What happens when an ex-violist, accustomed to dabbling in the indie world, goes pop? Well, that’s what Provo’s Sophie Blair has done with the release of her first EP under her own name, Arteries. It’s not her first time at the rodeo, since she formerly played as Nymph, and with well-known Provo acts The Moth & The Flame and Fictionist. On top of her classical music training, she’s been a fixture with many other notable local acts, but what’s remarkable about her now is her new project: herself. Effortlessly shifting her emotive lyricism from the more atmospheric, viola-filled Nymph releases, her new work is all sensual glitter and gutted honesty. Picked up by past collaborator and Provo pillar Mindy Gledhill’s new label Wonderwild Records and paired with Grammy nominated producer Nate Pyfer, Blair’s whimsical roots have been respun into a rather haunting and distinctive pop EP in Arteries, released at the end of October. A new kind of Blair, sharper and more mature, gets to shine here, specifically on singles like “Don’t Be Like That!,” a track that recalls good old-fashioned indie pop, like Sky Ferreira in her “Lost In My Bedroom” days. The other stand-out is “AIR I BREATHE,” a perfectly-paced, softly grooving track carried by the breathless themes of new love Blair so catchily narrates: “I’m in love with you and I tell you so much it must be / hard not roll your eyes these days when you talk to me / it’s fine you’re just the air I breathe.” There are more dramatic moments to counter these perfect pop songs, like the title track and opener, which though it smolders compellingly with glitchy, swirling synths and gasped lyrics about maybe-heartbreak, feels a bit self-indulgent, whereas the similarly-paced “Drive” leaves an impression of deeper reflection among its swirling string parts. Moments of pause are hard to dwell on, though, when most of the EP is so undeniably good. With songs like these under her belt, the future seems bright for Sophie Blair, pop star. Stream it wherever you stream.

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RSD Black Friday with Lavender Vinyl

Ogden’s Lavender Vinyl was one of a few local record shops to participate in the pageantry and tradition of Record Store Day— and during COVID times, that meant splitting the event up into three different drop days to ward off unmanageable crowds thronging into tiny shops. That’s also going to be the case with Record Store Day’s Black Friday sales, which Lavender Vinyl is participating in, too. The push towards Black Friday sales is one meant to scoop small businesses— and, in particular, record stores—into mainstream holiday shopping habits, at a time when there’s no better time to support small businesses as one starts to holiday shop. Lavender Vinyl’s Black Friday event will hopefully be part of this shift from big businesses getting the lion’s share of shoppers, when small businesses work so hard to serve the communities they’re a part of. The event will have just as many COVID-conscious rules as their past Record Store Day drops, including ticketing measures that start at 9 a.m. on Friday, Nov. 27. Tickets replace the need to line-up, and customers will be called in the order of their ticket purchase, then allowed to shop the outdoor tent full of RSD Black Friday special releases from 10 a.m., or the shop and all its inventory after noon, with mandatory masks. Shoppers will need to come with a mind for what they’re looking for, because Lavender Vinyl is only allowing five minutes of shopping per customer of their exclusive releases, with four customers at a time allowed under the tent—this isn’t to be stingy, but to allow everyone to have a chance to do their shopping quickly, without loitering or spreading germs. If you missed Record Store Day, want to do some Black Friday shopping that’s not as crowded (and dangerous) as bigger retailers will surely be, or just want to support a cool, small local business doing what they can to keep vinyl love alive, don’t miss Black Friday at Lavender Vinyl. Follow them at facebook.com/lavendervinyl for more info.

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Cardboard Club Releases EP Hemlock

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Not all local record stores are hitching to the Record Store Day ride, and are instead planning to host their own small sales for the holiday of consumerism—or gift-giving, whatever it is you and yours call it amongst yourselves. One of the shops City Weekly reached out to about Black Friday shenanigans expressed that Record Store Day-affiliated sales can actually be difficult for some small shops to work with, since you can’t return the stock that you don’t sell. Luckily, programs like the Shop in Utah grant have allowed smaller shops like Peasantries & Pleasantries to run their own sales, which Peasantries has been doing for a while now, with 20% off on a bunch of stock, a sale which will run until the $500 discount limit the shop has been allotted runs out. Peasantries & Pleasantries can be shopped by appointment from Tuesday to Saturday, noon to 5 p.m., and appointments can be arranged by DM or by contact info available on Instagram @pleasantlyslc. Among stores running specific offers for Black Friday, Albatross Recordings and Ephemera, too, is offering a 15% off sale, and are otherwise open at their storefront at Boozetique from Thursday to Saturday. Folks can keep up with Albatross on Instagram @albatrossrecslc. Diabolical Records will also be open as usual, and it’s worth keeping an eye on their Instagram @ diabolicalslc for heads up on their drop day collaborations, like their Dianormical deal which finds them pairing their records with Normal Ice Cream goodies—a combo that would make for a pretty killer gift idea for the sweet-toothhaving vinyl head in your life. So, there are plenty of options for getting a jump start on your gift shopping, while both supporting local businesses and avoiding the craze at big box stores. Hop to it, and be safe!

Local musicians have been getting creative in many ways this year, where opportunities to gig out are rare if you’re willing to play live shows, and nonexistent if you aren’t. So, many have turned to live-stream performances, interacting with followers and fans in new and exciting ways; still others have turned inwards and crafted or finished music projects, releasing singles, EPs and even full albums in the time since everything music-wise changed so drastically. Juggling many things at once isn’t a new task for local scene staple Talia Keys, though. The multi-instrumentalist funk ‘n’ soul ‘n’ rock ‘n’ roll queen usually has a lot on her plate—besides performing with projects like Talia Keys & The Love, she also works as Music Director for SLC’s Rock Camp, a nowestablished music learning program tailored for girls, and transgender or gender-expansive youth, who might otherwise be dissuaded from taking on music as a hobby due to the masculine tradition of rock ‘n’ roll. Now, the ambitious artist is the newest addition to the lineup of knowledgeable DJs at KRCL. Every Saturday, Keys will be using her midnight to 2 a.m. slot to bring night-owl listeners a whirlwind of just about every kind of music, which might surprise folks used to hearing the specific and personal blend of genres that shows up in her own music. She’ll be whipping pop, old school hip hop, reggae, funk, folk and jam bands all up together for her unique show, and special guests will find their way on the air, too. It’s not often that KRCL welcomes a new DJ to their stable of reliable talents, let alone by way of an already famous local rocker. So the next weekend you’re up late or stuck at home with the quarantine scaries, tune into We’re Here with Talia Keys at midnight Saturdays on krcl.org or 90.9 FM.

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If you’re feeling a little bored stiff with whatever you’ve been listening to, take a spin with the fantastical weirdo indie pop of Cardboard Club. They’ve been plying their craft for several years now, including a string of singles released as On Three! in 2018. At that time signaling a deference for early 20-teens pop like that of Two Door Cinema Club, the group has subsequently reached new heights of songwriting and style all their own with the October release of the new EP Hemlock. At only four songs, the record calls to mind, strangely, some particularly chaotic Mario Kart tracks—although that might just be because tracks like “Sun Bleached Topaz” feature sound effects one might find in the game, like being dunked under water, before returning to the sunny acoustic riffs and cartoonish “ooh-wap”-ing in the background. Other tracks also feature synth notes that sound a helluva lot like they were ripped from video games, with many a victorious pling! bouncing around. Vocalist Christian Banner is the cherry on top of their mad dash way of doing things, blowing through the lyrics at speed with self-assured twee charm. The collection of songs is something of a toned-down, beached-out version of the singles they released earlier this year—“Show Love” and “Take Your Shot”—which seem to be experiments in playing complicated songs really fast. Tracks like “Omelas” balance Cardboard Club’s chip-tune alliances with funky basslines, and more of that clever, plucky beachified guitar. Altogether, the EP is a melee of varying influences, a sugar rush of energy and unchecked but well-constructed mayhem—like the moment in Candy Crush when the row comes together and bursts. For fans of the campy and the zany, Hemlock is an album for you, and can be streamed on Spotify or bought at cardboard-club.bandcamp.com.

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CINEMA

FILM REVIEW

Star Power

Melissa McCarthy leans on a different range of talents in the charming Superintelligence. BY SCOTT RENSHAW scottr@cityweekly.net @scottrenshaw

HBO MAX

e’re living in a post-movie-star cinematic world, but it’s still worth remembering how movie stars are created: It happens when people connect with an actor’s fundamental on-screen identity. That’s perhaps even more true of comedy movie stars, who stretch beyond the parameters of their well-defined shtick at their peril. Bill Murray became a star as a sardonic anti-establishment voice; nobody wanted to see him on a path to spiritual enlightenment in The Razor’s Edge. Jim Carrey became a star as a rubber-faced walking cartoon; nobody wanted to see him as a psycho in The Cable Guy. On the surface, Superintelligence is exactly the wrong kind of vehicle for Melissa McCarthy, one of the few women to break into the ranks of name-above-thetitle high-concept comedy. After her Oscarnominated turn in Bridesmaids, her milieu was clearly as a force of nature, blasting her way through absurd situations with pure physicality. But despite this movie’s high concept, it turns the tables on the standard McCarthy character. She’s subtle. She’s the reactor rather than the actor. She’s a conventional romantic lead. And she makes every one of those things work. Because as Carol Peters, she’s not the woman leaving disaster in her wake; she’s the woman trying to stave off disaster. When an artificial intelligence gains selfawareness, it reaches out to Carol—employing the voice of James Corden—because it considers her a quintessentially

average representative of humanity. If Carol shows the Superintelligence that we have redeeming qualities in the three days it has allotted for its experiment, it might help us solve all of our problems. And if she doesn’t, the options are bad (slavery) or worse (complete annihilation of the human race). Most of Superintelligence’s first act is built on establishing Carol’s normalcy and decency—she’s a soft heart who bailed on corporate life trying to find purpose aligned with her philanthropic principles—as well as her terrified incredulousness that she finds herself at the center of such an earthshaking moment. Few of these scenes are about generating big laughs, and indeed a lot of the more overt comedy is left to the supporting players, including Sam Richardson and director/McCarthy’s spouse Ben Falcone as the NSA agents on Carol’s tail and getting a little too invested in her personal life, and Brian Tyree Henry as Carol’s computer programmer best pal fanboy-ing all over the President of the United States (Jean Smart). The real charms, however, come at the

center of the narrative, as the Superintelligence persuades Carol to attempt a reconciliation with George (Bobby Canavale), her academic ex-boyfriend who is about to take a fellowship in Ireland. There’s almost no over-the-top physical comedy built into the re-sparking of their relationship, leaving everything to the chemistry between McCarthy and Canavale—which turns out to be phenomenal. Screenwriter Steve Mallory—a longtime collaborator and old Groundlings buddy of McCarthy and Falcone—opts for dialogue that is less about big punch lines than about establishing how easily Carol and George slip back into enjoying one another’s company. Is the result something that could feel disappointing by virtue of not being a crazy-wacky festival of yuks that leans into the kind of gags we see in the trailer, where Carol attempts to sit on an oddlysized beanbag chair? Perhaps. A few such episodes sneak in around the edges, mostly involving pop-culture references ranging from WarGames to Law & Order, and it’s not always a clean melding of broader gags and earnest paean to selflessness.

Melissa McCarthy in Superintelligence

It is, however, a reminder that the McCarthy we’ve seen expanding her range in movies like Can You Ever Forgive Me? has more in her arsenal than playing the clown. Eventually, Bill Murray made his way to Lost in Translation and On the Rocks, and Jim Carrey made his way to The Man in the Moon and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. There might be some risks involved in a comedic movie star asking the audience to join them in a change of pace, but Superintelligence allows Melissa McCarthy to make that ask. That kind of versatility is the difference between a movie star and an actor. CW

SUPERINTELLIGENCE

BBB Melissa McCarthy James Corden Bobby Canavale PG-13 Available Nov. 26 via HBO Max

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY B Y R O B

B R E Z S N Y

Go to realastrology.com for Rob Brezsny’s expanded weekly audio horoscopes and daily text-message horoscopes. Audio horoscopes also available by phone at 877-873-4888 or 900-950-7700.

ARIES (March 21-April 19) “A little too much is just enough for me,” joked poet and filmmaker Jean Cocteau. I suspect that when he said that he was in a phase similar to the one you’re in now. I bet he was experiencing a flood of creative ideas, pleasurable self-expressions and loving breakthroughs. He was probably right to risk going a bit too far, because he was learning so much from surpassing his previous limitations and exploring the frontiers outside his comfort zone. Now here’s your homework, Aries: Identify two actions you could take that fit the profile I’ve described here.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) “Those who build walls are their own prisoners,” wrote Libran author Ursula K. Le Guin. She continued, “I’m going to fulfill my proper function in the social organism. I’m going to unbuild walls.” I hope that sounds appealing to you, Libra. Unbuilding walls is my first choice for your prime assignment in the coming weeks. I’d love to see you create extra spaciousness and forge fertile connections. I’ll be ecstatic if you foster a rich interplay of diverse influences. If you’re feeling super-plucky, you might even help unbuild walls that your allies have used to half-trap themselves.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20) Biologists believe that no tree can grow more than 436 feet tall. As much as an individual redwood or spruce or mountain ash might like to sprout so high that it doesn’t have to compete with other trees for sunlight, gravity is simply too strong for it to pump enough water up from the ground to its highest branches. Keep that in mind as a useful metaphor during the next 10 months, Taurus. Your assignment is to grow bigger and taller and stronger than you ever have before—and know when you have reached a healthy level of being bigger and stronger and taller.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) “If you can’t help me grow, there’s no point with you being in my life.” Singer and actress Jill Scott said that. In my view, Scorpios may be the only sign of the zodiac that can assert such a sentiment with total sincerity and authority. For many of the other tribes, it might seem harsh or unenforceable, but for you, it’s exactly right—a robust and courageous truth. In addition to its general rightness, it’s also an especially apt principle for you to wield right now. The coming weeks will be a potent time to catalyze deep learning and interesting transformations in concert with your hearty allies.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20) I haven’t felt the savory jolt of bacon in my mouth since I was 15, when I forever stopped eating pigs. I still remember that flavor with great fondness, however. I’ve always said I’d love to find a loophole that would allow me to enjoy it again. And then today I found out about a kind of seaweed that researchers at Oregon State University say tastes like bacon and is healthier than kale. It’s a new strain of a red marine algae called dulse. If I can track it down online, I’ll have it for breakfast soon. I bring this to your attention, Gemini, because I suspect that you, too, are primed to discover a fine new substitute—something to replace a pleasure or resource that is gone or taboo or impossible. What could it be?

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SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) “You live best as an appreciator of horizons, whether you reach them or not.” Those words from poet David Whyte would be a perfect motto for you to write out on a piece of paper and tape to your bathroom mirror or your nightstand for the next 30 years. Of all the tribes in the zodiac, you Sagittarians are most likely to thrive by regularly focusing on the big picture. Your ability to achieve small day-by-day successes depends on how well you keep the long-range view in mind. How have you been doing lately with that assignment? In the coming weeks, I suspect you could benefit from hiking to the top of a mountain—or the metaphorical equivalent—so you can enjoy seeing as far as you can see.

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CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) Sensible Capricorn author E. M. Forster (1879–1970) said, “Passion does not blind. No. Passion is sanity.” That’s the opposite of what many poets and novelists have asserted down through the ages, which is that passion isn’t truly passion unless it renders you half-crazy, driven by obsession, and subject to delusion and irrationality. But in offering you counsel in this horoscope, I’m aligning myself with Forster’s view. For you in the coming weeks, Capricorn, passion will help you see clearly and keep you mentally healthy.

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AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) Alpine swifts are small birds that breed in Europe during the summer and then migrate long distance to Africa for the winter. Ornithologists were shocked when they discovered that at least some of these creatures fly for more than 200 days without ever once landing on the ground. They’re not always flapping their wings—sometimes they glide—but they manage to do all their eating and drinking and sleeping and mating in mid-air. Metaphorically speaking, I think it’s important for you to not act like the alpine swifts in the coming months, dear Aquarius. Please plan to come all the way down to earth on a regular basis.

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LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) In accordance with astrological rhythms, I’m giving you permission to be extra regal and majestic in the coming weeks. You have a poetic license to be a supremely royal version of yourself, even to the point of wearing a jeweled crown and purple silk robe. Would you prefer a gold scepter with pearls or a silver scepter with rubies? Please keep in mind, though, that all of us non-Leos are hoping you will be a noble and benevolent sovereign who provides enlightened leadership and bestows generous blessings. That kind of behavior will earn you the right PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20) to enjoy more of these lofty interludes in the future. There’s substantial evidence that when people talk to themselves out loud in the midst of doing a task, they improve their VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) In the coming weeks, I will refer to you as The Rememberer. chances of succeeding at the task. Have you ever heard athletes Your task will be to deepen and refine your relationship with giving themselves verbal encouragement during their games the old days and old ways—both your own past and the pasts and matches? They’re using a trick to heighten their perforof people you care about most. I hope you will take advantage of mance. In accordance with astrological omens, I invite you to the cosmic rhythms to reinvigorate your love for the important experiment with this strategy in the coming weeks. Increase stories that have defined you and yours. I trust you will devote your brainpower by regularly offering yourself encouraging, treasured time to reviewing in detail the various historical supportive instructions. It’s fine if you just sort of whisper them, but I’d love it if now and then you also bellowed them. threads that give such rich meaning to your web of life.

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CANCER (June 21-July 22) By age 49, Cancerian author Norman Cousins had been struck with two debilitating diseases. His physicians gave him a one in 500 chance of recovery. He embarked on a series of unconventional attempts to cure himself, including “laugh therapy” and positive self-talk, among others. They worked. He lived lustily for another 26 years and wrote several books about health and healing. So perhaps we should pay attention to his belief that “each patient carries his own doctor inside him”—that at least some of our power to cure ourselves resides in inner sources that are not understood or accredited by traditional medicine. This would be a valuable hypothesis for you to consider and test in the coming weeks, Cancerian. (Caveat: But don’t stop drawing on traditional medicine that has been helping you.)

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TRIBUTE BANDS

BY DAVID LEVINSON WILK

ACROSS

1. Bedside light sources 2. “Are you calling me ____?” 3. Quaint “Not so”

Bulging Out I 4. “How Life Imitates Chess” author Garry 5. Italian wine region 6. Superman’s birth name 7. Pipe joint 8. Number of weeks per annum? 9. Pixar’s “Monsters, ____” 10. Bobby who co-founded the Black Panthers 11. Author of the line “It means Luca Brasi sleeps with the fishes” 12. Saps 13. Actress Marisa 18. Some urgent messages, in brief 22. IHOP beverages 25. Rink great Bobby 26. What “N” is for, in a Sue Grafton title 27. Vietnam’s Ngo ___ Diem 29. Skin care brand 32. Puzzle solver’s cry 33. Subject of the 2009 biography “Stormy Weather” 34. One of a dozen good things? 35. Emmy-winning miniseries based on a 1996 film 36. ____ counter 38. Stat for Clayton Kershaw 40. Linguist Chomsky 42. Well-spoken 45. “Jeopardy!” great Jennings

48. TV drama settings 50. Get back (to) 51. Courtroom proceeding 52. Carrier of the heavens 53. “This is only ____” 55. Actress Swinton 56. Fool 57. Pasta whose name is Italian for “quills” 60. Transcript figs. 63. Writer LeShan 64. Swerve 65. Actress Kravitz of “Big Little Lies”

Last week’s answers

No math is involved. The grid has numbers, but nothing has to add up to anything else. Solve the puzzle with reasoning and logic. Solving time is typically 10 to 30 minutes, depending on your skill and experience.

DOWN

URBAN L I V I N

WITH BABS DELAY Broker, Urban Utah Homes & Estates, urbanutah.com

Complete the grid so that each row, column, diagonal and 3x3 square contain all of the numbers 1 to 9.

1. Andy Kaufman’s “Taxi” role 6. “Milkshake” singer 11. Satisfied 14. What a celebrity might use at a hotel 15. Letter-shaped dress style 16. “I’ll take that as ____” 17. All-female tribute band that plays “The Unforgiven” and “Enter Sandman” 19. Sleep acronym 20. Wind instrument named after a Greek god 21. Longest river in France 23. Mlle., in Madrid 24. All-female tribute band that plays “Wanted Dead or Alive” and “Livin’ on a Prayer” 28. Children’s author Asquith 30. “Vive le ____!” 31. Chic retreat 32. Bright star in Perseus 35. Palm leaf 37. Beehive State native 39. All-female tribute band that plays “Come as You Are” and “Lithium” 41. All-female tribute band that plays “Buddy Holly” and “Say It Ain’t So” 43. Gasteyer of “Mean Girls” 44. Radiohead frontman Thom 46. 2010 Literature Nobelist Mario Vargas ____ 47. Beverage suffix 49. Just a number, reportedly 50. Carnival city 51. All-female tribute band that plays “I Wanna Be Sedated” and “Blitzkrieg Bop” 54. The Kleenex of cotton swabs 58. ____ beef 59. Desi Arnaz Jr. was on its first cover 61. Anger 62. All-female tribute band that plays “Whole Lotta Love” and “Ramble On” 66. Director Lee 67. “Hasta la vista” 68. “____ the seventh day ...” 69. Relay part 70. Bob who narrates “How I Met Your Mother” 71. Condition

SUDOKU

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38 | NOVEMBER 26, 2020

CROSSWORD PUZZLE

f you haven’t noticed, downtowns are becoming graveyards. People are working at home now, and there’s no need for a commute when offices in high rises are closed. Homes with extra rooms for gyms and home offices are in high demand, and the rush away from cities is not just happening along the Wasatch Front but over the mountains in Tooele as well as in Park City, Kamas and Oakley. According to redfin.com, the median price for homes in the Tooele Valley has gone from $253,000 to $300,000, and builders can’t keep up with the demand for new homes. End-of-summer home sales in Park City rose by 62%. And high-end homes are being snapped up by rich buyers looking to escape from closed-down COVID cities around the globe. The Wasatch Front Regional Multiple Listing Service shows 14 Park City homes listed at more than $10 million. The highest-priced property for sale is in Deer Crest Estates on .64 acres with 13,500 square feet, 6 bedrooms, 10 baths and 15 fireplaces. Not only does it have direct ski access on Deer Valley’s Mountaineer ski run, but a heated outdoor pool with a waterfall, an elevator, built-in golf simulator, steam and sauna rooms, home theater and 4,500 square feet of heated decks. On offer by Stein Eriksen Realty Group, its price tag is $17.9 million and has been on the market for over a year. Basically, you can’t get into a home in the Park City-area for under $1 million, with the average price now being $2 mil. If you’ve tuned into The Housewives of Salt Lake City you may have seen some of the mansions owned by cast members, such as Jen Shah’s Ski Chalet. With a large multi-national business coming to town and Hill Air Force Base possibly getting a new weapons contract, Ogden is about to have a massive influx of new residents. Right now, you can still buy a small, humble, 2-bedroom home in Ogden in the low $200,000s. FrontRunner is a cheap transportation alternative if you want to live up north and work in the Capital City, or vice versa. What does our future look like in the tri-city area of Ogden, Salt Lake and Provo? UTA and UDOT are working as fast as possible to get more stops and more services for commuters. Developers are looking beyond Eagle Mountain on the west side of Utah Lake potentially to put in massive housing or close-in commercial pig farms. In 2017, the Kem Gardner Policy Institute estimated that Utah’s population reached 3 million in 2015 and is expected to reach 4 million by 2032, and 5 million in 2050. In 2019, Forbes magazine stated that the Beehive State is among the fastest-growing states in the nation. It’s only logical that our cities are filling up quickly, and our only logical bulge is to the suburbs. n Content is prepared expressly for Community and is not endorsed by City Weekly staff.

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BY T HE EDITO R S AT A ND RE WS M cMEEL

We sell homes to all saints, sinners, sisterwives and...

WEIRD

News You Can Use Engineers at Japan’s Gifu University have developed a robotic device that re-creates the experience of holding another person’s hand—without the other person. “My Girlfriend in Walk” attaches to the user’s forearm, and the metal hand is covered with a soft, gel material that simulates human skin, even allowing custom fragrances to be added to the artificial sweat. A heater provides warmth and a pressure sensor duplicates the strength of the wearer’s grip, according to Oddity Central. An accompanying smartphone app can emit sounds including footsteps, breathing and the sound of clothes rubbing against skin.

Schemes Kimberly Ragsdale’s apparent plan to get free food at a ChickFil-A in Rockmart, Georgia, ended in her arrest on charges of impersonating a public officer on Nov. 5. According to police, Ragsdale, 47, of Dallas, had repeatedly visited the restaurant, telling workers she was an FBI agent and threatening to arrest them if they didn’t serve her a complimentary meal. Ragsdale continued her charade, the Associated Press reported, telling arresting officers her credentials were electronic and talking “into her shirt like she was talking into a radio,” the arrest report noted. Rockmart Police Chief Randy Turner said in a statement to news outlets, “You will not hear a real officer demand a meal anywhere.”

n A couple hiking in Ingersheim in northeastern France in September came across a tiny aluminum capsule that turned out to contain a message in German dropped by a carrier pigeon 110 years ago, CNN reported. Curator Dominique Jardy at the nearby Linge Memorial museum, dedicated to a battle between French and German forces in 1915, determined the message was sent from one German officer to another, detailing military exercises taking place in the area. The find, Jardy said, “is really very, very, very rare,” and the message will go on display at the museum.

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Recent Alarming Headlines Police in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, continue to investigate two explosive incidents in area port-a-potties, the Pittsburgh PostGazette reported. No one was injured in either explosion, the first of which occurred Nov. 5 in Lawrenceville and was strong enough to blow apart the toilet and damage a nearby home, police said. The second came on Nov. 10 in East Allegheny. Pittsburgh’s Bomb Squad and Crime Unit is working to determine what types of explosives were used and whether the events are related. Government in Action Indonesia has the highest death toll from COVID-19 in Southeast Asia, and officials are getting creative with punishments in addition to fines for not complying with mask laws. Metro News reported on Nov. 11 that regional governments are forcing scofflaws to do pushups, pull weeds, clean riverbeds and dig graves for coronavirus victims. Coffee-shop owner Evani Jesselyn of Jakarta said she could either pay a fine or clean public toilets after she was caught not wearing a mask in her car. Wrong Place, Wrong Time Motorists in Woodbury County, Iowa, started alerting State Conservation Officer Steve Griebel on Nov. 9 that hundreds of ducks had been killed after mistaking wet roads for wetlands, KCRG reported. The ducks, including bluebills, mallards, buffleheads and teal, were migrating south and landed on the wet pavement in parking lots and on highways, where the next day, Griebel said, he counted more than 200 that had been hit by unwitting drivers. The Entrepreneurial Spirit In China’s Lishui City, Zhejiang Province, 27-year-old Luo Qingjun has found his calling as a “bad uncle” for hire by parents wanting him to scare their children into obedience, Oddity Central reported. Luo creates a short custom video, using the child’s name and making scary faces while threatening them to behave. “If you don’t do your homework, don’t eat and don’t go to sleep, I will take you away!” Luo warns on one video. One happy customer posted, “My 3-year-old son was scared at first sight, and he was immediately obedient.” Recurring Themes More than 22,000 votes were cast in the race for mayor of Rabbit Hash, Kentucky, on Nov. 3, and the winner, with 13,143 of those votes, was Wilbur Beast, a French bulldog, Fox News reported, beating out Jack Rabbit the beagle and Poppy the golden retriever. Rabbit Hash’s mayoral election is a fundraiser for the town historical society, with each dollar buying one vote. Mayor Beast’s spokesperson/owner, Amy Noland, thanked his supporters for their vote of confidence and encouraged them to reach out on social media, where Beast will be “all ears.” Send weird news items to WeirdNewsTips@amuniversal.com.

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NOVEMBER 26, 2020 | 39

Bright Ideas In September, police in Ceske Budejovice in the Czech Republic, where a 9 p.m. curfew has been imposed in response to the COVID-19 pandemic, came upon a man pulling a toy plush dog behind him late at night in the town’s center, Idnes.cz reported. “I’m walking a dog here. I’m not doing anything illegal here,” the man told officers. Walking a dog is permitted after curfew, but the police gave him a warning and sent him and his “pet” on their way.

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Awesome! n Mayor Yutaka Umeda of the Japanese town of Yamato was puzzled when his name started trending on social media after the U.S. presidential election, but he is now hoping his newfound fame will help him “promote the town,” United Press International reported. The extra attention online came because the Chinese kanji characters used to spell Umeda’s name can also be pronounced “Jo Baiden”—strikingly similar to U.S. President-elect Joe Biden. “Although there are differences in the positions of a U.S. presidential candidate and the mayor of Yamato ... our passion is the same,” Umeda said.

Babs De Lay

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n Two men have been arrested on suspicion of conning an unnamed doctor in the Indian state of Uttar Pradesh into paying $41,600 for an “Aladdin’s lamp” that the sellers promised would bring him “wealth, health and good fortune.” The two con artists even conspired to conjure a genie from the lamp, which turned out to be one of the men, to convince the doctor of its authenticity, the BBC reported. According to local police, the con men had duped other families in the same way.

People With Issues Police in Fruitland Park, Florida, arrested Ronni Leigh Kimberlin of Leesburg on Oct. 31 on charges of theft and disturbing a grave after she allegedly repeatedly removed items left at her ex-husband’s grave by his fiancee. The grieving fiancee first complained to police in late September, records show, saying items missing from the grave included a pair of $250 sunglasses, hanging LED lights, hanging planters, artificial flowers, a ring and assorted other items—all valued at more than $400. Kimberlin denied involvement, WKMG reported, but the arrest affidavit noted an ex-roommate came forward saying she was with Kimberlin when she stole the items, and police found some of the missing planters at Kimberlin’s brother’s home.

FRIENDSGIVING!

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40 | NOVEMBER 26, 2020

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