City Weekly March 19, 2020

CITYWEEKLY.NET MARCH 19, 2020 | VOL. 36 N0. 43

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CWCONTENTS COVER STORY LEAN, MEAN AND SELF-QUARANTINED

We now interrupt our regularly scheduled paper to provide some socially distant content.

Cover illustration by Derek Carlisle

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CONTRIBUTOR

4 LETTERS 6 OPINION 20 A&E 23 DINE 28 MUSIC 36 CINEMA 38 COMMUNITY

YOU!

That’s right, you are our distinguished contributor this week, dear reader. Neither snow nor rain nor novel viruses stopped you from picking up this issue—and for that we are thankful. Remember that mutual aid is the name of the game during the following weeks.

Check on your neighbors if you can, offer to make food runs and remember we are all human.

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CITYWEEKLY

NEWS

Local business leaders discuss COVID-19 impact. facebook.com/slcweekly

Your online guide to more than 2,000 bars and restaurants • Up-to-the-minute articles and blogs at cityweekly.net

MUSIC

Distract yourself by taking a dive into our Local Music Issue.

Twitter: @cityweekly • Deals at cityweeklystore.com

STAY INFORMED! Want to know the latest on coronavirus? Get off Facebook and check out these three online resources: Centers for Disease Control: cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019 World Health Organization: who.int/emergencies/diseases/novel-coronavirus-2019 Utah Coronavirus Task Force: coronavirus.utah.gov

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Cover story, Feb. March 5, “China Girl”

Fascinating story. Many of us in the adoption community can relate as parents—and on behalf of our beloved adopted children.

JULIANNA VERBOORT Via cityweekly.net I’m dad to a little girl we brought home from China five years ago this month. Due to a medical condition and the cost of care over there, we have accepted the claim that she was left to be found, but the possibility that she too may have been taken from her bio family is something that does haunt me. Regardless of the circumstances, I hope someday to find them to let them know she is OK. I’m grateful that Maeson and her bio family have been able to reconnect again and share whatever they can in these too short lives. Thanks for sharing their story.

KERRY O’CONNOR Via cityweekly.net

News, March 5, “Coronavirus Panic Hits SLC”

I don’t see the point in referring to “planning ahead” as “panic,” but the media’s gotta keep up the fervor.

JONATHAN SULLIVAN Via Facebook No one, including [Gov. Herbert] “planned ahead.” The right wing does business as

COMMENTS@CITYWEEKLY.NET

@SLCWEEKLY

usual. Wait until it’s a problem, then try to Band-Aid a gaping wound.

JAKE WILLARD Via Facebook Stakeholders my ass. The LDS Church hierarchy? Who? CITIZEN KATE Via Twitter This is the equivalent of a red blinking light used to distract the masses from what’s really important.

ADAM JAMES Via Instagram Please remember that when/if you get quarantined, you can still drink tap water.

Don’t use this as an excuse to fill the landfill with water bottles!

JO DISA STARKS Via Facebook Right? It’s called investing in good water filters. I got one in my fridge, a portable one and a colloidal silver. Gosh, you can even get special filters hooked to your sink and showers. Add up all the plastic you buy in a year—there’s your filters.

BRITZ SMITH Via Facebook It’s OK, Gov. Herbert. Dr. Mike Pence is on it.

LIZZ KOPTA Via Facebook

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Silly boomers.

KEVIN KIRK Via Facebook They’re the ones at risk; they should be nervous.

BRYAN ORVIS Via Facebook

Private Eye, March 5, “Do Tell”

It’s the ONLY way Utah can make money.

FRED A. SCHMAUCH Via Twitter

All Is Well?

Government leaders, business marketing departments, defense attorneys, churches, 4th of July country singers, stock market opening bell ringers and happy hand clappers, military commanders, doctors and used car salespersons all have a job to do. Their job is to lie and say all is well.

Culture critics and political party platforms, labor unions, prosecutors, prophets, universities and active citizens, newspapers, peace marchers, hospitals and consumer bureaus also have a job to do. Their job is to tell the truth and say all is not well. At a time like this, we need less of the former, and more of the latter.

At the end of the current legislative session, the Speaker of the House said, “No state in the country is better prepared.” The President of the Utah Senate said, “We’ve got the best health care system in the country.” I.e., The

new coronavirus is no problem, folks. We are super-cool and super-perfect here in Utah.

But I wonder if today’s political bragging will end up being like Gov. Mike Leavitt’s boasting of a “world class” education system back in the 1990s. A little bit oversold, maybe?

We’ll find out.

KIMBALL SHINKOSKEY, Woods Cross

Paging Dr. Bone Spurs

Tom Tomorrow (is that his real name?) always gives me a good chuckle.

Dr. Bone Spurs (is that his real name?) and the rest of the Trump Disintegration obviously got their medical degrees from Trump University. The tie-dyed orangutan was three years late declaring a national emergency—it should have happened in January 2017.

ALAN E. WRIGHT* Salt Lake City *PS: That is my real name.

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Contributors KATHARINE BIELE, ROB BREZSNY, BABS DE LAY, SPENCER HOLT, MARYANN JOHANSON, CRAIG D. LINDSEY, NICK MCGREGOR, PARKER S. MORTENSEN, DAVID RIEDEL, MIKE RIEDEL, JOHN SALTAS, ALEX SPRINGER, RICKY VIGIL

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PRIVATE EY Burgers and Beer I was born between a café and a bar. Most kids who grew up in Bingham Canyon also grew up around a bar or café, since there were so many of them. Thus, I’ve never been bothered being around beer, booze or food. Indeed, my first job was cleaning the Moonlight Garden tavern, just feet from our kitchen, on Saturdays. I was 12 years old, and still remember the special reek of miner piss, beer and cigarettes.

It was a short career. I was also 12 when I lost my job at the Moonlight. In 1967, union miners walked off the job, and for the next nine months or so, they stood at picket lines just yards from the Moonlight’s front door. My dad was a company man. The strikers were his buddies, so he made me quit so that someone else might make the $5 a day I was paid. Those guys were in bad shape. Until today, I think that was the toughest period of my life—watching the suffering of people who only wanted to make a living.

With so many men out of work, car sales dipped, as did home sales, movie theater tickets bought, ice cream purchases and on and on. At the time, Kennecott was probably Utah’s biggest employer, and the impact was felt statewide.

I now think coming to grips with what happened then, helped Utah migrate to a new type of economy. One driven by services, schools and hospitality.

Yet, 50 years on, here we are: Schools, services and hospitality are basically shut down statewide due to the coronavirus outbreak—and the real havoc is yet to come.

Comparing 1967 to now, I’d rather have one voice instead of the millions on social media. There is so much garbage and posing going on that none of us can tell the good news

B Y J O H N S A LTA S @johnsaltas

from the bad. Nor can we seem to get on the same messaging page.

Last weekend should have been the busiest of the year for Utah’s hospitality industry, but St. Patrick’s Day fell harder than a drunk leprechaun from the Blarney Stone.

Club and restaurant owners, aware of what was already happening in other cities braced for the worst: that Utah might also impose closures on their industry. What came though, was a fiasco.

On Sunday, word got out, apparently attributed to the Salt Lake County Health Department, that for the short term, clubs and restaurants would not close if they practiced social distancing, so merchants made their weekly purchases. On Monday, during a meeting led by Gov. Gary Herbert and Salt Lake City Mayor Erin Mendenall, it was suddenly tweeted that Salt Lake County Mayor Jenny Wilson’s office would enact a 30-day closure to take effect that night.

Left unprepared, and with stores of food that would rot, GR Kitchen in Fort Union and Kimi’s Chop House in Sugar House opened their shelves and gave food to their soon-tobe laid off employees. Others likely did similar, and God bless everyone who did. They could have done so with the same teary eyes but without the desperation that comes with uncertainty.

Meanwhile, local governments were not very helpful except to cite “we’re all in this together” emails and tweets.

Yeah, uh-huh. On cue restaurants and clubs were notified that they should seek low-interest government loans.

“What the fuck?” asked one local club owner. “They shut us down and then offer us a loan? While they bail out cruise ships? My people are hurting!” Yes, they are, just like 1967, and like ’67, it will ripple down.

The hospitality industry directly employs thousands of Utahns, and indirectly affects tens of thousands more,

such as cleaners, supply companies, soft drink and beer distributors, food distributors, security personnel and so on. There’s lost parking revenue. Same with private lot owners. There are going to be permanent closures. It will affect the wallets of all of us. It affects City Weekly, too. “Bigly,” as our president might so perfectly put it.

For more than three decades, this newspaper has supported all facets of Utah’s hospitality industry. We’ve helped change laws that make Utah a better place to live.

We’ve helped change laws that brought more life and diversity downtown. Would tech have arrived if Utah was still a dreary place to attract talent? No, and we moved that needle. During this time, we’ve kept Utahns enlightened and informed. It hurts us to know that so many of our friends in the industry are in pain right now. We’ve seen the tears. It also hurts to no end to know that any next issue could be our last. That’s our reality; if they die, we die.

I can’t imagine even an invigorated Salt Lake Tribune doing what we do. They just don’t. I shudder to think, frankly.

So, we’ll keep trying. You can support the hospitality industry now by taking a meal home from those places that are doing their best to adapt to take-out and curbside service. You can buy gift certificates now that can be redeemed later. You can save up and spend like a drunken cowboy at the state fair when this ends. Our biased and favorite solution is the City Weekly Store, where you can get huge discounts to many of your favorite clubs, restaurants and retailers. Shopping there is a boon for City Weekly and our merchant partners. Find more at cityweeklystore.com.

This will end, as did the nine-month long strike of ’67. I choose to think we will become somehow better for it; that Utah will continue to evolve; that our friends and neighbors will grow together again; and that some kid in a garage invents the next big thing: Free burgers and beer forever. CW

HITS&MISSES

BY KATHARINE BIELE @kathybiele

Useless Legislature

Why, you ask? Why, indeed.

The Legislature refused to pass bills that just made sense, but apparently struck at the heart of their ideological sensibilities. Let’s start with the most in-your-face slap at women—the Equal Rights Amendment, despite 70% of Utahns approving it. You know, lawmakers don’t really care if legislation is meaningless. Take their full-on abortion ban law. It wouldn’t go into effect unless the U.S. Supreme Court undermined Roe v. Wade. The ERA is similar. Already the requisite 38 states have approved the amendment, and yet it faces massive legal hurdles before being ratified. Still, they managed to pass several anti-female laws this session besides that Just Say No to Abortion Bill. They’re also requiring women to decide whether to bury or cremate their fetal remains because, they firmly believe, women aren’t intelligent enough to know what they want. That is, unless they are in the Nevada Legislature where a majority finally rules.

Arent’s Swan Song

We hope you’re not planning a big outing because, you know, the pandemic. COVID-19 is taking its toll—not on people so much as events in our state. Our advice is to check the listings before you go, especially if you’re planning to attend large gatherings. They probably won’t be happening. Meanwhile, here is a taste of what the virus has wrought in Utah.

PROTEST, SAY WHAT?

However, if you thrive on the unknown and love to take risks there’s a special event just for you. Of course, you will need to realize that the risk you’re taking is not for yourself. Nope, you’re putting everyone else’s health in danger, too. Protest to Protest Herbie’s Large Gathering Policy is a curious outing sponsored by The Mormon Chronicle, which contends it “debunks falsehoods from both the enemies of the Church as well as apologists. Though the truth is often times uncomfortable, the Savior said it will set us free. The truth, no matter how uncomfortable, leads to Christ.”

Avoiding COVID-19 apparently is one of those uncomfortable “truths.” In other words, they think “government and media thrive on fear and manipulate numbers and facts to make things appear much worse than they actually are.” If you decide to go, maybe you’ll be lucky enough to be in a crowd of two or three.

Utah State Capitol, 350. N. State, Saturday, March 21, 2-4 p.m., free—as in Live Free or Die, bit.ly/39LPWDn

MAKE SURE HER HEART DOESN’T GO ON

Send tips to revolt@cityweekly.net

It’s a great spring

MARCH 19, 2020 | 7

—KATHARINE BIELE

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As long as everyone’s feeling like they’re in some Stephen King novel, here’s a chance to act out for Satan. Oops, it’s against Satan, according to the event Boycott Celine Dion. What? You didn’t know? She’s “after our children,” proclaims the boycott organizer. Why, you ask, is the 51-year-old singer such a dangerous vixen? A Catholic priest and exorcist didn’t like her commercial. She recently launched her gender-neutral line through an enticing commercial that depicts Dion running from authorities in a hospital after she magically changed the clothes of the babies in the nursery to a more unisex look from their regular pink and blue outfits. The new garments include black stars and the words “new order,” a Yahoo! Lifestyle story said. It’s that gender-neutral thing, and some people not only don’t like it, they hate and fear it. Vivint SmartHome Arena, 301 W. South Temple, Thursday, March 26, 5-10 p.m., free (and you might get to hear her if you don’t make too much noise), bit. ly/3aP1hCS

Rather than spend too much time denigrating the Legislature, let’s talk about a few important bills that passed. First, school breakfast. It was on-again-off-again, as legislators defeated and then revived the Start Smart program for students in need. This bill was pregnant with ideological rationale—from parental responsibility to distrust of the federal dollar—and yet rather than let kids starve, lawmakers passed it. Second comes Rep. Patrice Arent’s death knell for the straightticket ballot. This bill sends the signal that voters can be trusted to choose candidates among various parties. It might have been a gift to the retiring Arent, according to the Trib, but it was a gift for voters, too. And one last bill: Cultural Stewardship Amendments finally puts some teeth in enforcement of vandalism of pictographs and other archeological gems. See, they’re not all bad.

CANCELED!

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On to the idiots who decided driving while texting was just a great idea. Absolutely, they would not outlaw the use of cell phones, although the official line was, gee whiz, there wasn’t enough time. But wait. What about drinking and driving? That was such a priority that the Legislature dropped the legal limit for Blood Alcohol Content to .05% in 2018. As far back as 2009, the National Safety Council called on legislatures to ban the use of cell phones while driving because, wait for it, studies show it’s as dangerous as driving drunk. And yet, we live in Utah where the Word of Wisdom trumps good sense. What are the counter-arguments? It’s a personal choice and it’s too hard to enforce. But three of every four Utahns say make it the law, according to The Salt Lake Tribune. Apparently, they are not our lawmakers.

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—Enrique Limón, editor

dime and put together this special issue filled with fun ways to kill time while self-quarantining.

Like most newsrooms around town—and around the country—we can’t just dim the lights and call it a month.

Cry us a river! But seriously, especially in times like this, a journalist’s job is never done. So, if you see FOX 13’s Ben Winslow up and about, give him an air high five. Now would also be the time to pledge your support to listenersupported KCPW, KRCL, KUER or show your love to locally made podcasts. Share The Salt Lake Tribune’s boffo cartoonist Pat Bagley’s poignant panels on your social media. Or stand outside the Main Street-facing windows of KUTV Channel 2’s studio carrying a sign emblazoned with the message “Kan’t Get Enough of Koelbel!”

Oh, and please forgive any typos. By the time this issue went to press, our small but mighty in-office editorial department whittled down to a one-man operation (yours truly). I suspect decades spent eating lead-laced Mexican candy has somehow made me at least temporarily immune. Stay safe out there, kids. Remember to check in on each other and to practice kindness. Oh, and cover your damn cough.

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W

e make plans and God laughs, the old adage goes. Boy, oh boy, that has never rung truer than in the past few days. Unless you’ve been living under a Purell-soaked rock, you’ll know it’s fullblown coronavirus pandemonium out there, with misinformation spreading quicker than the virus itself, and otherwise law-abiding citizens reverting to their most primal selves by punching grannies in the face over the last antibacterial soap pump on the grocery store shelf.

Touching on that last bit (not the granny KO but the other one), please refer to the Centers for Disease Control, cdc.gov, and Utah’s special COVID-19 taskforce, coronavirus.utah.gov, for verified, up-to-date information and resources.

Since our inception, one of City Weekly’s mainstays has always been highlighting events happening around town.

That all changed this week. Leading up to this issue’s publication, Salt Lake County declared a public health emergency, and venues—including prominent restaurants, bars, movie theaters and galleries—shuttered or severely reduced their hours, leaving performing artists, baristas, servers and other pillars of everyday life drowning in uncertainty (and loss of income).

There’s no two ways about it: This fucking sucks. Hoping to provide an iota of distraction while that bidet attachment arrives at your door, we decided to turn on a

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First, a primer. Wash your hands for 20 seconds before picking up this issue—as well as halfway through and after finishing, just in case—with warm water. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention suggest you self-time by humming “Happy Birthday” twice. Need a more Utah-centric tune? Do it to this:

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RADAR: ON! 10 local acts to get behind now.

irst things first—picking 10 artists to watch in a city as stuffed to the gills with talent as Salt Lake City is a tall order. This list could easily be expanded and endlessly debated, incorporating the new talent that pops up in our fair metropolis all the time and the old standbys stretching their creative legs in surprising new ways. But for now, this brief compendium provides a peek into our thriving music community. In it, you’ll find a mix of fresh fast risers, hidden gems waiting to launch and old-school favorites on a new tip.

These are our 10 Salt Lake City acts to watch. Maybe we’ll even figure out a way to get a few of them to collaborate dream teamstyle in the future. Without further ado …

1. Marina Marqueza. To some listeners, this Japanese-Venezuelan electro-pop artist might be new. Sure, her self-produced debut album, Orbit Pluto, just came out last year. But Marqueza’s been around for some time, channeling her synth-driven, R&B-inspired influences into heart-stopping performances on the Craft Lake City stage and at other one-off local events. (Before she ever released an album, City Weekly even nominated her for a Best Pop Artist in Utah award). With fresh press from outlets like Remezcla and a message of healing, love and support for immigrant and queer/trans communities, Marqueza has a bright future ahead of her—especially as she spreads the message of SLC’s diversity and inclusion to a burgeoning international audience.

2. The Violet Temper. For a duo, Lindsey Heath and Cache Tolman make an unholy racket, combining everything from avantjazz to heavy metal alternative rock into a new sound the two call “doom shoegaze.” Don’t let that complicated description turn you off, however; if you like music with a pulsating heart, mindblowing chops and stylistic nods to everyone from The Smiths to Swans to Smashing Pumpkins you’ll love The Violet Temper. After an album release show in late 2018 and subsequent follow-up performances, TVT are taking a moment to regroup. Hopefully, that means they’ll be back this spring and summer spreading their astral vibes once more.

3. Branson Anderson. Although he hails from Logandale, Nev., a sleepy desert town founded in the 1860s and now known as the home of the Clark County Fair and Rodeo, Anderson now calls Utah home, living in a camp trailer and digging into life as a sort of modern-day Dust Bowl troubadour. Avoiding traditional song structures in favor of a talking-blues style reminiscent of Bob Dylan, Johnny Cash, Robert Johnson and Jack White, Anderson’s 2017 debut album, Graydog, and his forthcoming follow-up, Applecore, Baltimore, were both produced by Utah folk-blues icon Joshua James. Opening stints for outlaw country artists like Corb Lund and Charlie Parr have given Anderson the opportunity to hone his timing and delivery.

4. Ol’ Fashion Depot. These nü-blues prodigies were unofficially passed the Salt Lake City torch when harmonica master Tony Holiday decamped for Memphis. If Ol’ Fashion Depot’s recent blizzard of tour dates is any indication, their live show should be tight as a drum. But it’s the psychedelic sensibility that J-Rad Cooley, Josh Karrick, Josh Fox and Burny bring to their Midnight Sessions (three of which are available on Bandcamp) that set this quartet apart. Part revivalists honoring blues tradition, part futurists barreling into a brave new world and part shapeshifters who both represent Salt Lake City and stand alone, Ol’ Fashion Depot are a force of Mountain West nature. If you like jazz, blues, rock ’n’ roll and soul, don’t miss any of this band’s upcoming gigs.

5. Swarmer. Desert music never sounded so good. Hearkening back to the good ol’ days of Kyuss—the sun-drenched stoner band that preceded Queens of the Stone Age—Swarmer pieces together different permutations of rock and metal into a singular blend. Its four band members have done time in past bands like Accidente, Bird Eater, Cherubin, Day of Less, Drowning By Numbers, Form of Rocket, Gaza, Laughter, Motherkilljoy, Pilot This Plane Down and Team Dead—and all those influences are evident on One Pound, Swarmer’s debut EP. Out now, it combines the ferocious roar of heavy metal with the spacey breakdowns of psychedelia.

6. Amin “Shahzad” Adibnazari. Although Salt Lake City has a small but thriving Iranian-American community—most notably represented by former Congressional candidate and current Salt Lake County Councilwoman Shireen Ghorbani—Amin “Shahzad” Adibnazari might be the first Iranian-American rapper to come out of the Beehive State. With a unique cultural background and experience working alongside producers and sound engineers from Capitol Records and Sterling Sound, Shahzad’s single “On My Own,” for example, combines the passion of an underrepresented background with a razor-sharp lyrical tongue honed by poetry studies and ready to lay waste to weaker MCs. Following the positive blueprint laid out by MC predecessors like Black Thought, Mos Def and Lupe Fiasco, Shahzad writes in search of freedom and peace from the struggles he’s experienced. No matter where you’re from, that’s a universal human perspective.

7. Baby Gurl. It’s been a minute since Jordan Fairbanks and Chris Wadsworth released new music as Baby Gurl, their anarchic twopiece noise-rock outfit that in 2016 won City Weekly’s runner-up award for Best Live Act in Utah. However, the terrific twosome have played a handful of shows that got longtime fans fired up for their particular brand of gleeful, gender-fluid jams (see

BY NICK McGREGOR

past favorites like “Gay for Gallops,” “Tuna in the Key of Pussy” and “Acoustic Wheel Chair Song,” along with Baby Gurl’s cult favorite split EP with Gaytheist. Yes, you’ll most likely find them in a middle of most lineups, but could further top-tier gigs be on the way for the duo? If Fairbanks and Wadsworth, who call themselves fellow Farts-a-Lots on Facebook have any say in the matter, we probably won’t know until the night before it happens. But that will make the next big Baby Gurl moment that much more special.

8. Mindy Gledhill. Talk about a riveting story: When Mindy Gledhill reached out to City Weekly to talk about her album Rabbit Hole, she didn’t shy away from the way her music directly addresses her break with The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Once an LDS-approved recording artist famous for her sunny folk-pop, Gledhill’s tunes now hit both slick R&B production notes and wrenchingly emotional lyrical perspectives. As an outspoken ex-Mormon unafraid to address Utah’s patriarchal religious culture, she’s now attracting the biggest crowds of her career, selling out shows in New York, Boston, San Francisco and other major markets.

9. gLife. George McDonald is a hip-hop lifer, spending the last decade on the road after cultivating a rabid local fanbase in and around town. The prolific MC blends streetwise rhyming à la La Coka Nostra, Jedi Mind Tricks and Eminem with a melodic singing style that recalls Nelly, Eamon and Bone Thugs-n-Harmony.

But it’s his electro-flavored beats that really stand out, turning your typical gLife song into a sonic feast for the ears.

10. Ritt Momney. Forget the fact that their band name riffs hilariously on ol’ Mittens, Utah’s junior U.S. senator and an eternally dull thorn in Donald Trump’s side. Ritt Momney has bigger goals in mind than just novelty status here in their hometown. With frontman Jack Rutter laying down enough confessional indierock gems to transform their full-length “Her and All of My Friends” into an instant classic and Auden Winchester, Noah Hamula and Jonas Torgersen providing pitch-perfect backing instrumentation, the future looks bright for these young musicians. They understand the power of transcending genre, mixing psychedelic synth-rock and bedroom pop but not being afraid of jumping into new territory. A heartfelt delivery and a keen eye for details helpe Ritt Momney stand out.

Consider streaming all of these artists (and others that might have just popped into your radar) now. Give them a follow on social media, see if they have any merch for sale on their websites, and once self-quarantine measures end—and our glorious venues are up and running again—catch them live.

10 THINGS TO DO WHILE SELFQUARANTINING Spread the love while that asymmetrical haircut grows out.

Desperate times call for desperate measures. Feel free to cut us up and use these pages as toilet paper.

1. Dust off that Flowbee you have collecting dust in your garage, connect that bad boy to your vacuum and give yourself a haircut. (Worst case scenario: It’ll grow back in 14 days.)

2. Not stockpile toilet paper like a jackass.

Mmm ... doesn’t that feel swell?

It’s the beauty of post-consumer waste recycled paper.

4. Purchase gift cards to your favorite shops, restaurants and cultural organizations. Leave one in your mailbox addressed to your mail carrier.

6. Related to the above, seek out your favorite local drag performers and virtually tip them.

7. Care for the elderly, as they are the most vulnerable.

Many order home delivery of groceries due to mobility issues, and have not been able to find toilet paper or hand sanitizer. Have some extra? Hook them up.

8. Call your Mom and tell her you love her. Have a grudge with a family member? Do your best to let it go.

You Got This!

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5. Rely on the kindness of strangers. Local authorities have said unemployment benefits will be extended to those who have experienced reduced hours during the current health scare. The process could take a while.

Share your Cash App or Venmo handle on your social channels. No shame in that game.

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3. Order takeout or home delivery from a neighborhood eatery you’ve never tried before. If you can, be generous with your tip.

All done? OK, now you can Netflix your life away.

MARCH 19, 2020 | 13

10. Call your legislators! Reproductive rights, LGBTQ+ rights, clean air issues and a slew of other topics that affect your everyday life were just decided on during the past legislative session. Find your representative through sites like results.org , and let them know what issues speak to you and your neighbors.

| CITY WEEKLY |

9. You know those Little Free Libraries? Using a plastic storage box, set up a similar operation outside your home but with non-perishable food items for anyone who might need them. Pick one up, leave one behind.

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| NEWS | A&E | DINING | CINEMA | MUSIC |

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14 | MARCH 19, 2020

STAY UP TO DATE ON COVID-19 FROM THE MAYOR’S OFFICE

https://www.slc.gov/mayor/covid-19/

FOR BUSINESS:

Please take our Business Impact Survey https://www.slc.gov/ed/covid19/

MESSAGE FROM SLC MAYOR ERIN MENDENHALL This is a defining moment for our community, and the world at large. The way that we meet and work through the issues facing us during this pandemic is fundamental to our city’s ability to thrive for generations to come. It is in our character as Salt Lakers to collaborate, innovate and face challenges like these united.

We will get through this together.

Erin Mendenhall

WE’RE HERE FOR YOU

199.6 million years ago (or 6,000 depending on your beliefs) Blond, God-fearing dinosaurs roam the land. Notable local species include Green Jellodactyl, Weak-beeratops and Poligamysaurus rex

July 1847 Following a cross-country exodus, Brigham Young realizes he’s hella tired, says “Guess this place will do” (or something) on Native American land and modern SLC is born, baby!

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March 1934 Orrin Hatch is born on planet Kolob, shrouded in a cloak made out of sacred undergarments and sent to Earth by parents Jor-El and Lara.

(2 Nephi 26:33)

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February 1870 Decades before reaching statehood, women’s suffrage is granted. The move is remembered as the pinnacle of women’s rights in Utah.

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MARCH 19, 2020 | 15

February 2002 SLC hosts the Winter Olympics and our City Guide is born. Clad in red, white and blue, R. Kelly is the centerpiece of the Games’ opening ceremonies five days after the release of a controversial wet-and-wild sex tape allegedly starring the R&B star. Dafuq. Were Donny & Marie unavailable?

16 | MARCH 19, 2020

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Usually an ad would be filling up this space. Leading up to the publication of this issue, several advertisers understandably pulled out.

City Weekly is an independently owned and operated business. As much as it would have represented a severe economic blow, we could have chosen not to publish this week’s issue. Instead, we chose to turn on a dime and put on our bravest—and as evidenced by some of this week’s content, silliest—face.

Fighting for the underdog, championing Salt Lake City’s diverse arts scene and highlighting events happening around town, have been City Weekly’s mainstays since our inception. Many of those art institutions are temporarily shuttered and most events canceled. Still, now more than ever, we are committed to our community and the people and movements behind it that make it tick.

Finally, consider donating to Press Backers (pressbackers.com). Every dollar goes toward supporting our day-to-day operations.

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Call the advertisers you do see in this issue and thank them for supporting independent media in Utah. Once self-quarantine measures end, patronize them with your business.

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Want to help? Here are three ways you can aid in sustaining our mission: Pick us up or read us online at cityweekly.net. If there are any articles in particular that catch your attention, ‘Like’ them and share them on social media.

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MARCH 19, 2020 | 17

Your independent news source since 1984.

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18 | MARCH 19, 2020

For the Love of Green Jell-O

Have a couple of gelatin boxes in your cupboard?

These 5 Utah notables share their prized recipes.

Ann Cannon, Salt Lake Tribune advice columnist Patti’s Blueberry Mold 2 packages (3 ounces each) raspberry flavored gelatin 2 cups boiling water 1 package cream cheese (3 ounces) 1 8-ounce can crushed pineapple with juice 1 15-ounce can blueberries with juice 1 pint whipping cream, whipped 2 bananas, sliced

I feel healthier already!

Dissolve gelatin in boiling water. Add cream cheese, pineapple with juice and blueberries with juice. Fold in ½ cup whipped cream. Pour into a six-cup ring mold and chill until set.

Unmold and fill center with ½ pint sweetened whipped cream and sliced bananas.

Arlene Bascom, Founder, Latter-Day Woman Magazine Mostly Fruit Jell-O Salad 1 package (6 ounces) raspberry Jell-O 1 ¼ cup boiling water 1 package (10 ounces) frozen raspberries and juice 1 cup crushed pineapple, drained 2 bananas, diced 1 cup walnuts, chopped Combine Jell-O and boiling water and stir until dissolved. Add all the fruits and the nuts, and refrigerate until firm.

Yield: About 8 servings

Julie Ulrich, banquet manager (retired), The Lion House, SLC's Pear Whip Salad 1 large Black Cherry Jell-O 1 large can pears-reserve liquid 1 cup whipped cream Using the liquid from the pears and enough water to make 2 cups, dissolve Jell-O and set it.

Mash the pears.

Whip the cream (do not sweeten).

When the Jell-O is set, use two forks and shred it.

Stir in the pears and then fold in the whipped cream. Refrigerate until ready to serve.

Gail Miller, owner, Utah Jazz Jazzy Jell-O Salad 1 regular container of Cool Whip 1 container 16-ounce cottage cheese 1 can of crushed pineapple (drained) 1 6-ounce package of lime Jell-O (can also use pistachio pudding) Mix all of this together and then set in the fridge for 30 minutes to an hour. Enjoy!

Gloria Bagley, past Relief Society president Cran-Raspberry Jell-O Salad In a 9-by-13 dish, dissolve 1 large package (6 ounces) raspberry Jell-O in 2 cups boiling water. Blend until Jell-O is dissolved.

Add 1 cup cold water; 1 can whole cranberry sauce Blend together until cranberry sauce is broken up.

Add 1 10-ounce package frozen raspberries and 1 large apple, peeled and diced. Refrigerate until set, then spread on the following topping: 8-ounce package cream cheese, softened 8-ounce container Cool Whip. (Thaw frozen Cool Whip for five hours in refrigerator so it will be the right consistency to blend with the softened cream cheese.)

Beat cream cheese until smooth. Fold in Cool Whip. Spread on top of set Jell-O.

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MARCH 19, 2020 | 19

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20 | MARCH 19, 2020

SARAH ARNOFF/FILE

SARAH ARNOFF/FILE

TODD COLLINS

SARAH ARNOFF/FILE

ESSENTIALS

the

Editor’s note: Due to coronavirus, most A&E events have been canceled or postponed. Instead of skipping this section this week, we chose to highlight some local art makers. Please support them (and others) in any way you can.

Madazon Can-Can

Clovis Lark

Kevin Alberts

Sarah Shippobotham

“Ain’t too much sadder than the tears of a clown,” Smokey Robinson professed back in 1967. Still, Can-Can, a staple of stages across the city—from regular gigs at Prohibition to Jason CoZmo’s Viva La Diva show—looks ahead.

This week, Can-Can was set to participate in Get You a Babe Who Can #DoBoth, a burlesquemeets-TedX event that got canceled along with the state’s first-ever Burlesque Festival.

Can-Can, who collaborated on bringing #DoBoth to Salt Lake City after meeting co-organizer and fellow performer HoneyTree EvilEye at a national burlesque convention, longed to discuss clowning as a form of connection. For Can-Can, clowns have a historic legacy of being “truth-tellers”—a vital trait when addressing taboo subjects.

“People do assume that I’m 100% familyfriendly as a clown,” they say, “but … it has a bent about human sexuality. Everybody’s like, ‘We’re terrified of clowns.’ But we’re also terrified of sex.

Let’s discuss these two things together.”

Those familiar with Can-Can’s work might have been among the lucky few who attended their one-person show, Genit-Hell Yeah, last fall at SLCC’s Black Box Theatre. Starting with a self-birth—and employing miming, burlesque and drag—the interactive staging made good on its promise to “play with everything you knew about gender, sex and being human.”

Elaborating on their burlesque side, Can-Can says the greatest hurdle fellow performers face in ever-puritanical Utah is misconceptions regarding the art’s titillating nature. “This is also theater,” they say. “This is also education; this is also political; this is expression; this is freedom.”

Find Can-Can on social media, and while you’re at it, order an original art print, personalized poem or custom set of pasties. (Enrique Limón/Scott Renshaw)

Before every Utah Symphony performance, Lark places the score on the conductor’s podium. The more fascinating part of his job is the process of determining specifically which score ends up on that podium.

The Midwest native spent time in culinary school and working in restaurants before returning to his interest in music with a job as librarian for the Indiana University Conservatory in 1992.

The job involves multiple steps as the symphony plans performances several months down the road. Generally, the artistic director provides the basic program, and Lark begins the process of finding the needed scores for each scheduled piece, with many intermediary steps: Is the composer contemporary enough that the work is still under copyright, requiring payment of royalties?

For pieces that are in the public domain, which of the many existing versions is best? If the symphony library does have a copy of a specific piece, is it even the version that the conductor wants to work from?

Once the desired version is obtained, Lark works with the conductor and concertmaster on specific notations for the performance of each part. “Just like a player getting their technique, intonation, everything spot-on,” he says, “I’m doing this from the paper end before it even hits the stage.”

“I knew somehow in the back of my head, someone had to do the work to get things on stage, but you never knew exactly what it was,” he adds. “I discovered there was an area of this job which I cared a great deal about: Making a piece absolutely understandable and correct, which is a critical component of a great performance.” (Scott Renshaw)

A native of suburban Detroit, Alberts—a full-time employee of the University of Utah’s costume shop—recalls participating in the drama club in high school, but “I didn’t know that being a costume designer was a job. I don’t think I knew where costumes came from.” It was only when he began working with a community theater that he started learning firsthand. “They needed someone to do costumes, and I went, ‘Well, how hard can it be?’” Alberts says. “It was a little harder than I thought.”

College study in theater led him to the University of Utah for grad school, where he eventually returned after stints working in Chicago and New York. In addition to working for Pioneer Theatre Co. and other Salt Lake City-based companies, he has designed for the Utah Shakespeare Festival since 2002.

The process of designing a show begins with meetings with a director, but the specifics of that process differ greatly depending on the collaborator, he notes. Every production is unique, with its own unique dynamics—for example, the challenge of keeping your own ideas fresh when you’re working on a well-known show where there might have been hundreds of previous productions, or even a movie version.

“People ask, ‘What’s the hardest show, and what’s the biggest show,’ and they’re not necessarily the same thing,” Alberts says. “Les Misérables is probably the biggest thing we’ve ever done, but … it’s a whole bunch of dirty rags, so you’re not overwhelmed by the size of it.

Beauty and the Beast was the hardest thing we’ve ever done, because you have to make somebody be a teapot, and a clock, and a candlestick. It’s all stuff we had never done, so the learning curve was tremendous.” (Scott Renshaw)

If you’ve attended a theatrical production in the Salt Lake Valley in the past 20 years that included an accent, you’ve probably heard Shippobotham’s work. Since joining the University of Utah drama department in 1998, and subsequently spending more than 15 years as head of the Actor Training Program there, she has worked with actors on the finer points of convincing an audience that they’re from somewhere else.

A native of Cardiff, Wales, who studied at the Central School of Speech and Drama, Shippobotham became particularly attuned to variations in regional speech after moving to England at the age of 11, then returning to visit Wales. “I have this vivid memory of going back to Cardiff after we left, and suddenly hearing everybody speaking differently,” she says. “My ears just went, ‘What?’”

For Shippobotham, teaching an accent begins with learning it herself—attempting to find authentic speakers of that accent, often via online clips, to observe how faces look when they speak and to learn what she calls the “mathematical changes”—variations on pronouncing specific vowels or consonants that might take the word “like” into the Cockney “loik” or Irish “lake.”

But as an actor herself, Shippobotham also finds it important to teach not just a formula, but a way to make the accent a natural part of a performance. “The intangible part of dialect coaching is the tune and the rhythm,” she says.

“It becomes too paint-by-numbers if I say, ‘You have to go up here and down here.’ ... Does it feel authentic? Does it sound like you spoke like that before you hit the stage? Do you feel free to create in the accent, as opposed to I-have-to-get-itright?” (Scott Renshaw)

Clown/Burlesque Performer

Symphony Librarian

Costume Designer

Dialect/Accent Coach

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Love Wine?

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Perfect for serious collectors in a rugged environment

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$1,800.00 Contact (801)201-2797

MARCH 19, 2020 | 21

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Brand new Wine-Mate cooling unit Extra thick locking wood doors & insulation Digital temperture control Metal Shelving 440 bottle capacity

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TAKASHI & POST OFFICE PLACE WILL BE CLOSED FROM MARCH 17TH THROUGH AT LEAST MARCH 23RD, AS WE ASSESS COMMUNIT Y NEEDS, WE WILL CONSIDER OFFERING CURBSIDE TAKEOUT. YOU MAY FIND UPDATES ON OUR INSTAGRAM ACCOUNTS. IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS OR CONCERNS, PLEASE COMMENT ON OUR SOCIAL MEDIA OR FEEL FREE TO LEAVE US A VOICEMAIL AT 801-519-9595. YOUR COMMENTS WILL HELP US MEET YOUR NEEDS GOING FORWARD.

L U N C H • D I N N E R • C O C K TA I L S

18 WEST MARKET STREET • 801.519.9595

22 | MARCH 19, 2020

Serving American Comfort Food Since 1930 -CREEKSIDE PATIO-89 YEARS AND GOING STRONG-BREAKFAST SERVED DAILY UNTIL 4PM-DELICIOUS MIMOSAS & BLOODY MARY’S-LIVE MUSIC ON THE PATIO-SCHEDULE AT RUTHSDINER.COM“In a perfect world, every town would have a diner just like Ruth’s” -CityWeekly

IRON MILLS, IND ED W S, T F A ET CR BASK ORK EW FENC D ART R & YA

IRON TED T BIRDH RELLISES , OU CAGE SES, ORNA S & MENT S

“Like having dinner at Mom’s in the mountains” -Cincinnati Enquirer

CRAF

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@TAKASHI_SLC | @ POSTSLC

AS SEEN ON “ DINERS, DRIVE-INS AND DIVES”

TEXAS ORIGINAL RECIPES 100% Wood Smoked Bar-B-Que Tue-Wed 7-3pm | Thu-Sat 7-7pm 962 S. 300 West, Salt Lake City

4160 EMIGRATION CANYON ROAD | 801 582-5807 | WWW.RUTHSDINER.COM

ALEX SPRINGER

BY ALEX SPRINGER comments@cityweekly.net @captainspringer

O

AT A GLANCE: Open: Mon.-Thurs., 11 a.m.-10 p.m.;

Fri.-Sat., 11 a.m.-11 p.m.; Sun. 11 a.m.-8 p.m.

Best bet: Lobster rolls from Colossal Lobster Cant’ miss: Try some hot chicken and ramen, you cowards

MARCH 19, 2020 | 23

er, focused menus that center around a particular dish or type of food. For example, Blaze of Thunder serves up Nashville hot chicken sandwiches and Raining Ramen offers a variety of the popular Japanese noodle soup.

Upon entering Hall Pass for the first time, the dizzy-

| CITY WEEKLY |

The entire concept is anchored by a restaurant called SkinnyFATS (skinnyfats.com) a trendy Las Vegas-based eatery that has been making a name for itself in the fast-casual circuit. At the moment, Hall Pass includes eight concepts including a SkinnyFATS location. Each features small-

ver the past few months, The Gateway has become an example of taking risky life choices and seeing how they pay off. Nothing embodies this devil-may-care attitude quite like the types of restaurants that have taken up residence at the downtown shopping center. As fascinating as these new eateries have been to observe, the jury is still out on their overall staying power. The Gateway is having a moment, and only time will tell how that moment plays out. For a first-hand look at its sleek new stable of eateries, my family and I went to Hall Pass (153 S. Rio Grande St., Ste. 107, 801-415-9886, hallpassslc.com), which has built up some solid buzz for itself as Utah’s very first food hall, which is a lot like a neighborhood food truck night without the lingering smell of exhaust in the air.

there’s no griping with the quality of ingredients. Toward the end of the bowl, however, the liberal dose of teriyaki sauce starts to overwhelm the whole dish.

Though Blaze’s mac and cheese was good enough for me to steal a few bites—creamy and melty with just the right amount of salt to keep things grounded—it’s surprising that Hall Pass isn’t a bit more family-friendly.

Building on its buzz, now would be a good time for its eateries to expand their menus and offer a few more options for the budding gourmand. The cool thing about Hall Pass is that it’s constantly evolving, so chances are it’s in the cards.

It’s the kind of place that warrants repeat visits for several different reasons, but I’m very much looking forward to seeing how this place uses its platform to expand and bring new and exciting flavors to the downtown area. CW

| MUSIC | CINEMA | DINING | A&E | NEWS |

Variety is the spice at The Gateway’s Hall Pass.

I’ve been trying to get my daughter into lobster rolls, but it’ll surely take her some time to warm up to the idea. When she’s ready to take that journey, I wouldn’t hesitate to bring her back. Salt Lake has only recently been introduced to these coastal favorites, and our smattering of lobster rollers have set the bar pretty damn high. That said, I’d wager any lobster roll aficionado would be happy with the offerings that Colossal is throwing down.

Visually, this is a textbook presentation. A toasted, buttery bun overstuffed with perfectly cooked lobster, claw meat poking out of each end much like a Christmas present.

The meat and mayo ratio is spot on, and there’s just enough citrus flavor to make everything stand up and sing.

SkinnyFATS’ More Cow Bowl is a good representation of what they’re trying to do—the menu is supposed to be half healthy, half not so much.

Our choice came from the latter side of the menu, but I appreciated the plethora of veggies that were partying with the teriyaki-bathed filet mignon. At the end of the day, this is a rice bowl like unto other fast-casual offerings, but it does start off stronger than its food pile cousins. The filet is tasty, and the veggies add a pop of freshness, so

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

See You in Hall

ing architecture evokes a very Vegas feel—it’s very easy to become lost as you navigate the maze-like food hall. Not that getting lost here is a bad thing. Exploring its nooks and crannies offers plenty of time to plan out the perfect menu. When we visited, I had a serious hankering for a lobster roll, so we did the rounds and ended up at Colossal Lobster. They serve up both Maine and Connecticut lobster rolls ($15)—the Connecticut variety serves its lobster warmed up and slathered in clarified butter while the Maine selection is cool and mayo-based.

Once you’ve placed an order, you get a restaurant-specific pager that’ll go off when it’s ready. While waiting for the lobster-y goodness that was in store, we also decided to try out something from SkinnyFATS’s pun-laden menu. Their More Cow Bowl ($12.95) consists of teriyaki filet mignon, cauliflower, Portobello mushrooms and peppers atop a layer of egg fried rice. Next on the list was to find something for our two-year-old, which was actually a bit of a struggle. The side mac and cheese ($4) from Blaze of Thunder ended up being the best option.

When our respective pagers went off, we collected our bounty and snagged a spot near the entrance.

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Sehr Gut !

BACK BURNER

BY ALEX SPRINGER @captainspringer

Food events and restaurant openings have gotten a teensy bit harder to cover as of late—something about a national pandemic? All the same, our local eateries need your love and many of them are offering takeout-only options. To help them stay afloat—and to keep your social isolation plans intact—consider inviting some comfort food from a few of these local restaurants into your homes over the next few weeks.

Old world flavor in the heart of Salt Lake

Thai Archer

The lunch special combination is your best bet here.

Choose any two items from a 15-item list and you get a salad, spring roll, cheese wonton, pork dumpling and rice for $8.99.

1429 S. 1100 East, 801-953-1279, thaiarcher.net

20 W. 200 S. SLC | (801) 355-3891

siegfriedsdelicatessen.com

ALL YOU CAN EAT KOREAN BBQ

Korean BBQ and Sushi

Lunch: $13.95 Dinner: $17.95 +$5 per sushi roll

15% OFF ALL SUSHI ROLLS

Full Bar

M-Th: 11am-9:30pm F-Sa: 11am-10:30pm Su: 3:30pm-9pm

@so_grill_korean_bbq • sogrillsushi.com • 801.566.0721

Grab the bull

Bruges Waffles and Frites You can never go wrong with a Machine Gun sandwich—spicy lamb sausage, creamy Andalouse dressing and fistfuls of fries.

2314 S. Highland Drive, 801-486-9999, brugeswaffles.com

DELIVERY

Gift Cards AvailABLE!

AND TAKEOUT

SLC’s newest Dtwn Mexican Restaurant!

Sauce Boss Chicken fried chicken with a wedge of cornbread and some mashed potatoes for the win.

877 E. 12300 South, 385-434-2433, saucebosssouthernkitchen.com Arempas The arepa peluda with shredded beef and cheese mixes seasoned beef with cool avocado.

350 S. State, 385-301-8905, arempas.com

by the horns

• Private Events • Catering

Les Madeleines The kouign amann is worthy of your attention for breakfast, lunch or dinner.

216 E. 500 South, 801-355-2294, lesmadeleines.com

ital ianv il l agesl c.com A

U TA H

ORIGINAL

SINCE

1968

5370 S. 900 E. MURRAY, UT 801.266.4182 MON-THU 11A-11P FRI-SAT 11A-12A SUN 3P-10P

Proper Burger Make friends with the Johnny Utah for a pastrami thrill-seeking adventure.

865 S. Main, 801-906-8604, properburgerslc.com

109 W 9000 S Sandy, UT. 84070

@OFFICIALTOROTORO 801.532.4272

Afghan Kitchen Any of their kabobs make great carry-out meals in a hurry. Spicy, flavorful and filling.

3142 S. Main, 385-229-4155, afghan-kitchen.com

55 W 100 S ( old CaffÉ Molise location, next to Convention Center and Marriott )

• Wedding Receptions • More!

Celebrat i

26

ng

24 | MARCH 19, 2020

the

year

s!

Pat’s Barbecue Any of the traditional offerings are great, but the smoked turkey Philly keeps particularly nice for delivery.

155 W. Commonwealth Ave., 801-484-5963, patsbbq.com The Copper Onion Whether in-store or at home, the Wagyu beef stroganoff is a knockout.

111 E. Broadway, Ste. 170, 801-355-3282, thecopperonion.com Baking Hive I could think of several worse alternatives than holing up inside with a bag of Caramel Jaguar Bars.

3362 S. 2300 East, 801-419-0187

ninth & ninth

Utah’s newest brewery, Grid City Beer Works, offers options that set them apart.

BY MIKE RIEDEL comments@cityweekly.net @utahbeer

C

smaller versions of IPAs. This 4.6 % pale, however, keeps true to its roots, drawing a noticeable line.

Grid City Beer Works - English Brown Ale: This ale has a warm and inviting appearance—more of a deep burnt red than brown, flaunting its darker shades. The aroma, on the other hand, is all brown ale, with roasted chestnuts and walnuts ground up and slathered on toasted white bread. A vague spice gives it a robust tingle.

Lightly toasted pumpernickel bread leads off the sip, while a bite of sweet toffee with crushed nuts and a light-handed drizzle of chocolate gives this English ale a centered decadence. The nuttiness lingers on, handin-hand with a slightly spicy and woody finish.

Overall: A delicious, nutty, focused brown ale with a teeter-tottering of sweet and bitter. This 4.2% ale was probably my favorite of Grid City’s debut beers.

The best part of these beers is that you will always get to try them three different ways: gassed with classic carbon dioxide, nitrogen and on cask via traditional handpumped beer engines. All of the aforementioned beers were reviewed with the standard CO2; the nitro and cask versions will undoubtedly come across as tasting different. You’d be surprised by how bitter carbon dioxide can be. This triple-gassing option will be available every day for all of Grid City’s core beers, and I think that’s pretty damn cool. As always cheers— and stay safe out there. CW

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

oronavirus be damned! Utah’s first debut brewery of 2020 is here. Grid City Beer Works (333 S. 2100 South, South Salt Lake, gridcitybeerworks.com) went on line in mid-February, and head brewer Jeremy Gross has been busy brewing up a storm for their soft opening this week. Luckily, I got the opportunity to sample what’s to come. I think you’ll be impressed.

Grid City Beer Works - Honey Cream Ale: This one is loaded with local honey— and you can definitely taste it. At a glance, it has a darkened gold hue with a small puffy cap of white froth. Aroma is dry and bready with an herbal grass tone. Pilsnertype malts and hops make it unique through and through; it doesn’t take much whiffing to grab the nose. There’s a pilsner-like taste, too, and I sense a theme here: The malts are forward and set with a dry, bready quick-

ness. A healthy dose of honey sweetness creeps through just past midway, along with a tiny bit of hops. Gradually it gets less pale and dry, adding more intertwined sweetness to help balance out the finish. Quite subtle with some dry, yeasty wood-ish notes floating around in there, too.

Overall: It’s much more subtle and tender after it’s warmed up a bit—smooth and easy, with just enough body and flavor to keep it interesting. If you’re a fan of honey ales, this 5% beer may go straight to the top of your list.

Grid City Beer Works - Pale Ale: The clear bright copper/amber colored beer pours with a finger of off-white head that recedes slowly but visibly. The nose includes a noticeable, well-rounded caramel malt background, complemented by some almost fruity aromas that include pine needles and citric grapefruit from the hops.

The flavors are much as expected from the nose, with the pine and grapefruit from the hops as well as a noticeable caramel sweetness from the malt backbone. The malt and its sweetness are in a very nice balance with the bitterness, in that neither conceals the other and each keeps the other from becoming unpleasant. The fairly long finish begins as the caramel sweetness briefly allows the pine and grapefruit to become more prominent Overall: The current drinking culture seems to demand that pale ales become

MIKE RIEDEL

On the Grid

BEER NERD

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MARCH 19, 2020 | 25

7277 S PLAZA CENTER DRIVE WEST JORDAN

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As a lover of curry, I was expecting to enjoy Mali Thai simply on principle. As it turns out, they’ve got plenty of other interesting features to offer—and they’re not afraid to singe your mouth with a liberal use of Thai chiles. Mainstays like yellow curry or Thai basil chicken are typically available all week, but they also cycle in a few other dishes available only on certain days. The ready-made menu makes Mali Thai’s fast-casual approach work; whether you’re after a long lunch or popping in for a quick takeout order, your food is ready before you cash out. In order to get the most out of your visit, the two item combo ($9.95, pictured), including a huge helping of rice and an egg roll, is the way to go. One of my selections has to be curry—their yellow and massaman varieties are both solid. The Thai basil chicken and red curry with bamboo shoots are fireballs that expertly capture the heat and flavor of their spicy chiles.

The fire of the dishes complements any of the tamer options, jacking up the flavors of even mild-mannered yellow curry.

238 S. Main, 801-364-0164

CALL (385) 988-3429 FOR TAKE-OUT & CURBSIDE

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Ask about Catering! low-carb and gluten free options along with a kid-friendly mini menu

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Feat. buffets and rooms with a view to mom-and-pop joints, chic cuisine and some of our dining critic’s faves.

Pho 33

The namesake pho here is characteristically deep russet in color, with flecks of finely chopped green onions and cilantro and a fist-sized chunk of oxtail that sits like an uncharted island within a sea of heady broth. The tripe is sliced so thinly that it becomes virtually indistinguishable from the noodles. The potstickers are juicy and flavorful, once again proving that Pho 33 knows its beef. Pho 33’s variety is hard to beat, and it’s a great place to dive into a dish that’s become a trendy lunchtime staple.7640 S. State, Midvale, 801-889-4090, pho33utah.com

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The concept behind this upscale Asian eatery is Shanghai in the 1930s: all Art Deco and Victorian, with imported Asian screens, an ebony fireplace, private dining rooms reminiscent of Orient Express sleeper cars—in other words, it’s an eye-popping restaurant filled with a collection of Asian artifacts from around the world. The food here elegantly matches the lofty ambience. Make a light meal out of selections from the appetizer and salad menus, such as the Bincho albacore sashimi with blood-orange ponzu. More substantial entrées include koji pork short rib, Diver Scallop and caramelized Japanese eggplant. If you’re in the mood for romance, request the table known affectionately as “the love shack.” 577 Main, Park City, 435-6150300, wahso.com

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Wahso

CALL 385-301-8905 FOR PICK-UP OR DELIVERY WITH

Whenever a new location opens, customers been rave about Pizzeria Limone’s menu of Neapolitan pizza with a twist, premium gelato and fresh salads. Try artisan pies such as the Viola with blackberries, ParmigianoReggiano, prosciutto, house marinara and fresh mozzarella; the caprese with fresh and aged mozzarella, fresh red onions and garlic, balsamic and tomatoes; or a classic Margherita. Salad options include the Tre Sorelle with pear and pistachios, Italiano with pepperoncinis, Caesar and caprese. All of the salads come with crosta, which is crispy, chewy pizza crust served with olive oil and Parmesan. There is also a great selection of European sparkling waters and sodas. Try the fantastic limone, raspberry, vanilla or chocolate gelato for dessert. Multiple locations, pizzerialimone.net

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Pizzeria Limone

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350 STATE ST. SALT LAKE CITY, UT 84114

This Main Street attraction in Utah’s recreation capital offers a great chance to fuel up for a day outside or even refuel after a hot summer outing around Moab and Arches National Park. No, we’re not talking about refueling that car or four-wheeler. Moab Garage Co. offers customers creative spins on coffee and even ice cream. Started by Salt Lake City natives Erin and Ryan Bird, the spacious restaurant has a wide selection of craft coffee and espresso options along with a flavorful and entertaining way to make ice cream with liquid nitrogen. It really is an edible science experiment. The place also has beer options at its back bar known as The Parlor and is open on weekends until 10 p.m. Be sure to stop by one of Moab’s newest hip establishments in the city’s ever-evolving hospitality landscape. 78 N. Main, Moab, 435-554-8467

BAND PROFILE 4760 S 900 E. SLC 801-590-9940 | FACEBOOK.COM/THE ROYALSLC WWW.THEROYAL.COM

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Mates for Life

First Daze’s indie pop was born from one deep friendship.

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28 | MARCH 19, 2020

MUSIC

PARKER S. MORTENSEN comments@cityweekly.net @_coldbloom

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A

lthough First Daze is now a successful indie pop rock trio, for years it was only a duo. Co-vocalists and guitarists Taylor Lines and Gui Peláez founded the band in 2013, and their deep friendship always will define the band’s focus on harmony over technical skill. From sandwich shops to actual venues, this local act has seen and done a lot on their way to feeling and becoming legitimate.

Long before Benjamin Thornton joined as drummer in 2017, Lines and Peláez were roommates, bandmates, best friends—separate, but always connected. Both started playing guitar around the age of 10, but they didn’t become close friends until the end of high school. Each was feeling the dog days of senior year, and became interested in forging stronger friendships. That’s when they also realized they were both musicians. A partnership built on jams in Palaez’s bedroom was formed, which has faced challenges that have since only proven their love for each other.

“I feel like we made a dedication to be really communicative and to not hold stuff in,” Peláez says. “I lost a lot of friends growing up, and I’m really grateful for Taylor, and that our friendship has just gotten stronger. When you have a partnership like music that builds you up together, you realize there are a lot of things that go behind a good friendship. They do take work. You have to talk to each other.”

“It’s not like we don’t bicker—we definitely do,” Lines adds. “We bicker about the small things, and we are upfront with each other when it comes to the big things. You can fight all day when it comes to the capo, but you gotta come together when it comes to the overarching song you’re trying to create.”

The friends found an early start in coffee shops and restaurants.

They braved an audition to play publically at the first-ever Even Stevens’ opening, a low-stakes gig that would prove to be a staple venue early on. “You learn so quickly that nobody gives a shit— they’re just trying to eat a sandwich,” Lines says with a laugh. “But in your cute little 19-year old mind, it’s so important.”

“We were so ridiculous,” Palaez says. “We’d spend hours deciding what to wear in front of people who were just trying to eat brunch.”

First Daze’s Gui Peláez, Benjamin Thornton and Taylor Lines Playing coffee shops and restaurants meant they learned quickly. A set at Even Stevens’ brunch ran for two hours straight, and the revolving-door crowd required learning a bevy of covers. The two learned to lean on harmonizing to make their performances more interesting, and as they began to make music together, that tendency toward harmony bled in and became a cornerstone of their original sound. Their initial EP, On a Roll, feels most pronounced in its moments of harmony. The track “Fat Cats,” with its lilting melody, is a great example of how the music is centered around Peláez’ and Lines’ equally-present voices.

It wasn’t until they played Kilby Court that the band took off.

“I remember telling Taylor that I would be happy with this shortlived career that we’ve had so far if we could just play Kilby,” Peláez says. “I don’t want anything more.” Then one day in 2015, two years after they began, they did. It helped launch them into the local circuit: “Just getting a gig at Kilby like that does so much for helping local acts get together,” Gui says. “They did that for us for sure. I’m so thankful.”

Since then, the two have played almost every venue in town, recorded their music and have gained a drummer in Thornton, whose ability to interpret Peláez’ and Lines’ (self-admittedly vague) creative direction has made him an invaluable part of the band for three years now, certainly helping First Daze fill out their sound. “He plays drums based on what he’s feeling and what the vibe of the song is, which is exactly what we needed,” Peláez says.

The most important change might have occurred when the two ended a bad habit of apologizing onstage for minor flubs. Once they noticed how much they were doing it, and especially when they noticed how common apologizing was for women in general as well as in the scene is, they stopped. “I genuinely believe that the day we stopped apologizing was one of the bigger days,” Peláez says. “We took ourselves more seriously. We acknowledged that this is what we want to do, and it changed the game. We started booking more stuff—we put more work in.”

That work has resulted in important gigs, like a scheduled one at Publik Coffee Roasters, which, you guessed it, was canceled due to recent health concerns. The event, meant to raise endometriosis awareness, was set to benefit community member Sylvia Cardenas, who suffers from the disease.

“Her medical costs are ridiculous,” Lines says. “No one should have an uphill battle to get the treatment they need for a disease that isn’t taken seriously.” Folks wanting to help out Cardenas can find her page on GoFundMe. You can also check out endo_SLC on Facebook for rescheduling information. CW

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Highland: 3928 South Highland Dr • State: 8136 South State St 2 0 1 3 - 2 019

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And the Bands Played On?

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BY ERIN MOORE music@cityweekly.net @errrands_

A

Destroyer, Nap Eyes

30 | MARCH 19, 2020

Pre-orders of their upcoming record and T-shirts are available at napeyes.com for those who still want to support.

THURSDAY 3/19

The Tissues, Sculpture Club, The Mercy

The Tissues postponed to a later date. If your show is cancelled, all refunds will be issued automatically from 24tix.com. Otherwise, you will receive details in your purchaser email for the new make-up date …”

Seat COVID-19 health concerns The Tissues are another band that have have shaken up the local canceled their entire tour, and in particular THIRD SPACE STUDIOS music scene. Here’s the latest because the singer of this LA-based post- THURSDAY 3/19 punk outfit, Kristine Nevrose, actually on concert cancelations and The March Divide, Down River, daylights as a nurse, and didn’t feel comrescheduling. fortable going around the country picking Swetzer, Fired Pilots

| CITY WEEKLY |

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COMPLETE LISTINGS ONLINE AT CITYWEEKLY.NET

h, what a time to be alive! (As long as you stay inside and socially isolate.)

This weekly space, usually focusing on local music buzz, is all about the absence of buzz in the wake of coronavirus. What started out as a distant problem abroad, is now here in Utah, with our local venues doing their part to mitigate the exposure of Salt Lakers by closing shop and canceling or rescheduling shows. Here’s a list of things that have been canceled since we initially planned our March 19 issue, and a few from last week’s Live Picks as well.

SHOWS AT URBAN LOUNGE As you probably know by now, Tuesday’s long-awaited Destroyer set, following the release of his latest album, Have We Met, was canceled. The 13th album in his large ouvre was critically lauded, an ultra synthinfused take on his typical avant style.

After postponing dates in Seattle and Vancouver, the rest of the dates on the tour, including SLC, have been canceled to protect fans. No rescheduled date for SLC has yet to be announced, and for their part, openers Nap Eyes have also been forced to cancel their own headlining tour that was to follow these supporting dates.

up germs to bring back to her elderly and immunocompromised patients. While April dates in California are still on, no definite plans for rescheduling are in place for a full tour, so fans will have to sit tight.

However, Sculpture Club and The Mercy Seat (a very new band), are both worth keeping an eye out for locally when this is all over.

WEDNESDAY 3/25

Dan Deacon, Ed Schrader’s Music Beat, Cool Banana

If you were planning on going to enjoy the bombastic electronic wizardry of Dan Deacon, lucky for you, you’ll likely get to see it at another point. While dates are yet to be announced, rest assured, Dan Deacon and his team are working to get back on the road soon. Ed Schrader’s Music Beat is also rescheduling dates, though whether Deacon will be with them remains to be seen. Be comforted, though, that at least their fantastic local opener, Cool Banana, plays local shows often and will hopefully hop back on the circuit as soon as this is all over.

Urban Lounge’s statement per their Facebook page:

“Due to growing Coronavirus concerns and the State of Utah’s crowd advisory warnings, we are working through canceling all shows through March 31. All shows in this timeframe are either cancelled or

The pop-oriented solo project of Jared Putnam, The March Divide, will not be making an appearance at Third Space Studios. His tour, which was to run through April 14, will no longer occur, and he had this to say on the matter on a Facebook post about the decision: “The financial impact of this decision will be very real for me. But it feels incredibly irresponsible for me to spend the next twenty three days going city to city, encouraging social gathering, while the CDC is urging social distancing. As a rule, I never cancel anything, even when I should.

But in the spirit of doing the right thing, I don’t want to catch this thing, think it’s a cold, and spread it all over the Western United States. Even as I write this, stare at it, and struggle to make myself post it, I got a message from someone on one of the upcoming shows who has to cancel, because they possibly have been exposed to the virus. That kinda puts the nail in the coffin, for me. Let’s all just get through this. I look forward to getting back out there, the very moment it’s okay to do it.”

Fans can still catch a set by Putnam, though, if they tune into the American Highways’ “Live Music from the Quarantine Series,” which runs through Saturday, March 21. Putnam will be playing on that last date, starting at 7:45 p.m.

EST. The virtual event is stacked with artists who’ve had to cancel tours, and details can be found at americanahighways.org or at facebook.com/americanahighways.org

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MARCH 19, 2020 | 31

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WE’LL SEE YOU WHEN WE RE-OPEN!

JUST IN CASE

LINDA TULETT

LIVE e s m t he S o C e un! r e H Jackie Green and Anders Osborne under events. Be sure to donate on their website, too, where proceeds will go to the artists like The March Divide who have had to cancel shows, and thus their livelihoods.

Also be sure to keep an eye out for locals Down River, Swetzer and Fired Pilot when things are back to normal.

Third Space Studios has not released any statement about canceling all or any shows, but have canceled some other events at their multi-use space.

32 | MARCH 19, 2020

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THE COMMONWEALTH ROOM / THE STATE ROOM SUNDAY 3/22

Anders Osborne and Jackie Greene, Michelle Moonshine

And the patio will open

The Commonwealth Room is joining its parent venue, The State Room, in canceling all shows until the end of March, at which point we can only hope it’s safe to go to shows again. Sunday would have found the folksy-bluesy extraordinaires Anders Osborne and Jackie Green, who are prolific in their music world to say the least. Instead, this is one show that’s managed to be swiftly rescheduled, and fans can now plan to catch this set on Tuesday, Aug. 4, at the end of a long summer far, far away from what we’re going through now. Any previously purchased tickets will be honored for that date. In the meantime, look out for one of the many frequent shows played by Michelle Moonshine, who is frequently playing out all over town.

Part of The Commonwealth Room’s Statement below: CHECK OUR SOCIAL MEDIA FOR CURRENT UPDATES AND WE’LL KEEP YOUR BARSTOOL READY FOR YA!

3200 E BIG COTTONWOOD ROAD 801.733.5567 | THEHOGWALLOW.COM

“The health and safety of our patrons, artists and employees is our top priority. Effective immediately, all shows at The State Room and The Commonwealth Room are postponed through March …

Please frequently check tsrpresents.com for individual show status. If a show’s status is listed as ‘canceled,’ we will notify buyers and all tickets for that specific show will be refunded at the point of purchase. If a show’s status is listed as ‘post-

poned,’ we are working hard on securing a new date, keep your tickets handy!”

THE DEPOT WED 3/18

The Young Dubliners

Once frequent visitors to SLC’s gonebut-not-forgotten Zephyr Club—the kind of bar-venue that SLC still truly is lacking—The Young Dubliners were coming back for another taste of SLC verve and vigor at The Depot when all this viral madness struck. Fans of their distinctive punk-infused Irish folk music will be glad to know that this show is not canceled, but postponed, though dates have yet to be released.

FRIDAY 3/20

Ultimate ’80s Party feat. Tiffany

This is the second time this ’80s extravaganza featuring the one and only Tiffany will have been rescheduled for a later date. Originally scheduled for Jan 18, it was rescheduled to March 20, but now an indefinite third date move hangs in the air.

Here’s to hoping that the third time’s the charm for getting to hear “I Think We’re Alone Now” live and in person.

The Depot has not issued any official statement on the effect of the coronavirus on their shows, but encourages fans to go to thedepotslc.com to keep up to date on changes to show dates, and to watch for emails about refunds or rescheduling.

So far, all shows are postponed, and not canceled.

BROADWAY AT THE ECCLES Wilco

Here’s to the fact that Wilco are a strapping band who will in all likelihood tour in the future, but as for their performance last Monday, that was cancelled due to— you get it at this point—COVID-19. They’ve been touring the US in support of their late 2019-released album Ode to Joy, and while a new date has not been set for this single-act show, here’s to hoping there is one in the future.

Continued on p. 34

4

$

SHOT

&

A BEER

Will return in a month!

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And you better be ready to PARTY when the State let's clubs re-open!

32 EXCHANGE PLACE | 801-322-3200 | TWISTSLC.COM |

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MARCH 19, 2020 | 33

AWESOME

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but still

Check social media for current updates and remember to support local business.

We’re all in this together... see ya soon!

closed

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Temporarily

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34 | MARCH 19, 2020

TWILITE LOUNGE

ERIN MOORE

BAR FLY

Voted Best Thrift / Consignment Store for 5 years

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I’ve put off covering Twilite Lounge in BarFly for a bit—which is funny, because it’s the bar I’m actually at most often. It seemed prudent to wait until the right moment to honor the place I like to call “my living room.” I know and have known it—and its bartenders and other regulars—better than that of any other bar in the city, for as long as I’ve been going out on the town. When I first started coming, I used to get my drink and immediately put on the same song (The Modern Lovers’ “Hippie Johnny”) because a boy I liked showed it to me once and it was some weird, obsessive homage to him and our love. Now I’m older, and don’t troll the jukebox as much (though it’s free, and the best in the city), but engage in other regular behaviors, like literally reserving my Wednesday and Sunday evenings for the lounge nights here. I also always make sure to chat with my friend at her place at the end of the bar—a spot she occupies so often she’s given herself the moniker “Girl At The Bar.” On the night of this writing, I sought refuge on an unusual night, a Tuesday, as the results of the most recent Democratic primaries rolled in and reduced me to tears, and as my sister and her 21-year old friends took up all the breathing room in my tiny apartment. I knew Twilite would be quiet on a Tuesday, and I also knew the location of the single outlet for me to plug in, so there I went—with a soda water and tequila by my side and a self-promised Pub Beer or Tall Oly on my mind for the near future. As many best times and worst times as I’ve had here, I’ve more than anything just had times that feel like home. (Erin Moore) 347 E. 200 South, 801-532-9400

Continued from p. 32

Part of The Broadway At The Eccles’s statement:

Salt Lake County Mayor Jenny Wilson has issued an order to cancel or postpone gatherings of 100 persons or more until March 31 … We appreciate the leadership of our public officials and will continue to monitor the situation as it evolves to ensure the health and well-being of our audience, staff, cast and crew before anything else. Our team will automatically be refunding your money (except shipping, if applicable). It should post to your account within 7-10 business days … At this time, all performances for the remaining shows in Broadway At The Eccles’s season are expected to go on as scheduled. Should anything change, we will send an update to all impacted ticket holders.

If this just breaks your heart, and leaves a hole in your music-listening life, there are ways to keep listening to, discovering and enjoying music—local and international alike.

Check out last week’s Local Music Issue in all its digital glory at cityweekly.net, which is chock-full of local bands to follow (with links to their Bandcamp—where you can purchase albums and tracks and directly support the artists— and Spotify pages). If you want to support acts that are stranded out on the road, as many are currently, follow and donate to the Sweet Relief Musicians Fund on Instagram (@sweetreliefmusicansfund), where they have set up a specific COVID-19 fund. Oh, and keep a lookout for our Live Picks section next week, where we’ll highlight some shows coming up in the spring months that are (hopefully) postquarantine. CW

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Following the Sonic wave, we rank the best (and worst) cinematic video game adaptations.

BY DAVID RIEDEL comments@cityweekly.net @daveseesmovies

I

’m not sure on which planet I’m living.

Sonic the Hedgehog has not only made a shit-ton of money—even with ol’ gravel voice himself, Harrison Ford, nipping at Sonic’s high top-clad heels in Call of the Curmudgeon—but has a certified “Fresh” ranking on Rotten Tomatoes. Sure, Rotten Tomatoes is no arbiter of taste—Revenge of the Sith clocks in at 80%, surely a sign that Satan is RT’s webmaster. But amid the myriad video games that have become movies, Sonic seems to at least be tolerable, despite starring James Marsden.

Therefore, and given the ample extra time we all now have, I think it’s a perfect time to reflect upon the best and, yes, worst video game-to-movie adaptations of all time. Note: This list is highly subjective. If it were objective, director Uwe Boll would secure all five worst rankings. But that’s just cruel and boring. Let’s start with five good flicks in no particular order (don’t @ me). Important caveat: In addition to being a subjective list, “good” here means “not a dumpster fire.” Stream away.

GOOD

Resident Evil

The first of the roughly 1 million RE adaptations is possibly the creepiest (I use “possibly” because I’ve only seen one other), and its whole what’s-going-on-OMG-THEUNDEAD vibe is on point. Milla Jovovich, as Alice, uses her natural frostiness to lead a group of people into a genetic research facility called The Hive, where a rogue employee has unleashed a virus that turns anyone into a zombie (or something else equally undead and horrible). Aside from zombies, Alice and the crew battle the Red Queen, an artificial intelligence that runs

36 | MARCH 19, 2020

Pokémon Detective Pikachu

Insurance adjuster Tim (Justice Smith) and Pikachu (voiced by Ryan Reynolds) team up to solve a crime. Or at least I think that’s what happens. I watched this movie on demand not long ago and I’m still not sure what I saw, though I have to admit I wasn’t bored (that goes a long way). Part of the reason I was confused is because my older kid is super into Pokémon and this movie doesn’t match up with the stuff he’s reading (or that I read to him). But Ryan Reynolds as Pikachu? Sold.

The special effects don’t hold up and the story is for the birds, but that makes it on par with other adaptations of its time.

Credit Angelina Jolie for playing Croft with just enough of a raised eyebrow to make it look as if she knew Tomb Raider was kind of dumb, but not so dumb we couldn’t have fun with it. And this is weird: Daniel Craig, before anyone really knew who he was, plays an American. Come because you like the game, stay because it’s fun watching Jolie jump from a chandelier and not seem to be bothered by that piece of hair always falling in her face.

BAD

Back in 1995 when video game adaptations were a novelty, we all thought this flick was crud because we had little to compare it to. Flash forward to now and Mortal Kombat looks like high art. If you’re not familiar with the game, that’s just as well, because this PG-13 kid’s movie dispenses with the game’s super graphic violence. The plot?

A bunch of good guys battle bad guys in an effort to save the world. It’s as simple as can be, and it’s nice to see Veronica Vaughn from Billy Madison kick the crap out of some people. This is also about the last time Christopher Lambert was relevant in any kind of cinematic setting.

Street Fighter

Again, “good” being relative, Street Fighter features Jean-Claude Van Damme doing his JCVD thing before he stopped taking himself too seriously. It also features Raul Julia in his final film role. You can see how ill he was each time he shows up on screen, but that doesn’t stop him from sending chills down your spine when he tells Ming-Na that the most important day of her life—when her father was killed—was just another Tuesday for him. That’s power.

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the Hive and is determined to kill them.

Best scene: The lasers. Oh God, the lasers.

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Super Mario Bros.

It should come as no surprise that Super Mario Bros. makes the bad list, mostly because it runs so far afield from anything resembling the game on which it’s ostensibly based.

Instead of feeling like a magical-yahoo dream world of pipes and mushrooms, the movie resembles what it must feel like to live in a sewer.

Plus, it makes as much sense as Van Halen replacing David Lee Roth with Sammy Hagar. At least leads Bob Hoskins (Mario), John Leguizamo (Luigi), and Samantha Mathis (Princess Daisy) give it their all.

Most compelling, though, is that producer Roland Joffé directed The Killing Fields and The Mission. No, his career was never quite the same after this.

Assassin’s Creed

How do you make Michael Fassbinder boring? Give him this script and tell him to recite all his lines as if he’s waiting for the Kaopectate to kick in. I can’t remember the last time I saw a video game adaptation simultaneously this self-important, grandiose and dull. Plus, the $125 million budget must not have gone toward the special ef-

fects or production design, because everything looks like it was shot in my backyard and edited with Avid’s 1989 software package. And just look at this wasted cast: Marion Cotillard, Jeremy Irons, Brendan Gleeson, Charlotte Rampling, Michael K. Williams. You don’t even have to see Assassin’s Creed to feel cheated. The stats should be enough. The story? Who cares.

Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time

Before Jake Gyllenhaal realized he’s a character actor in a leading man’s body, he was cast in this big-budget snoozefest. He’s a prince! He’s Persian! He’s white? OK, sure. Gemma Arterton, as Princess Tamina, delivers each line as if she can’t quite believe these are her lines, and for a Jerry Bruckheimer production, the special effects are decidedly average.

You can’t win them all, I guess. Even Ben Kingsley and Alfred Molina look clueless, no easy feat. I feel asleep in the theater watching this movie, and it’s so, so, so loud. That should tell you everything.

Need for Speed

You know, I don’t hate this movie like other critics hate it, but for a street racing movie, it certainly drags (ha). The stunts in an episode of “The Dukes of Hazzard” are better than anything in Need for Speed, and NfS is longer than two hours. What?!!

As much as I enjoy hearing that raspy-ass voice come out of a guy who looks like Aaron Paul, I don’t need to hear it for that long. And why does anyone talk this much in a movie that’s all about the stunts? OK, I kind of hate it.

Tomb Raider (2018)

Chalk this up to a well-intentioned misfire. Though the stunts are more harrowing and (arguably) more realistic, this reboot is largely devoid of the humor in Angelina Jolie’s first go-around as Lara Croft (the less written about the second, the better). That makes this big-screen version of the video game kind of stiff, even if lead Lara Croft is played by Oscarwinner Alicia Vikander. Note to the execs: Gritty doesn’t always mean better. What worked for Batman (the Dark Knight series) hasn’t worked for just about every other comic book or video game adaptation. Take notes, people. CW

All film screenings are subject to change due to coronavirus prevention measures. Please check with movie theaters directly before heading out.

HOPE GAP [not yet reviewed] A couple’s visit with their son takes a dramatic turn when the father (Bill Nighy) tells him he plans on leaving his mother (Annette Bening). Opens March 20 at Broadway Centre Cinemas.

(PG-13)—Scott Renshaw A QUIET PLACE PART II [not yet reviewed] Emily Blunt returns to continue protecting her family from aliens, and from other threats in their ravaged world. Opens March 20 at theaters valleywide. (PG-13)

SPECIAL SCREENINGS HUMAN NATURE At Main Library, March 24, 7 p.m. (NR)

CURRENT RELEASES

DOWN

1. Requests 2. Nothing out of the ordinary 3. Southern California city 4. Big Super Bowl purchase 5. “____-Ho” (“Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs” song) 6. Out 7. Space oddity, briefly 8. Wynton who was the first jazz musician to win a Pulitzer Prize 9. Kind of bargain 10. John B, in a Beach Boys hit 11. Solarium 12. Elite list 13. Costar of Bea, Betty, and Rue 21. Caution in a school zone 23. Rankle 26. Get millions of hits, say 29. Really binges (on) 31. One-named singer with the 2014 hit “Chandelier” 34. “Rugrats” dad 36. “Monsters, ____” 39. Online feed letters 40. Pricey hors d’oeuvre 41. “____ Kapital” 42. “Popeye” cartoonist 43. 1979 Steve Martin comedy 44. View, as the future

47. “The Barber of Seville” composer 48. Heist of a sort 49. First-aid equipment 51. Mont. neighbor 53. Cut (off) 54. Big ____ (the drug industry) 57. Lit 59. “Greatness is ____ leading towards the unknown”: Charles de Gaulle 62. “Right away, boss!”

64. ____ nitrate 67. Words with discount or disadvantage

Last week’s answers

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MARCH 19, 2020 | 37

SWALLOW BB Writer-director Carlo Mirabella-Davis co-opts a slick postwar aesthetic for this slice of housewife horror that would have been radical in the 1950s, but not today. When she isn’t vacuuming the modernist glass box she shares with her piece-of-shit husband—in a vintage-y fullswing skirt, no less—lonely Hunter (Haley Bennett) is gulping down marbles, paper clips and other dangerous nonfood objects. The feminist metaphor is overstretched and depressingly stale; Hunter is dealing with real trauma, which only begins with her horrible husband and his toxic parents, but her isolation feels less like an authentic part of spousal abuse and more like a man’s spin on a woman’s trauma. Bennett’s performance is both terrific and terrifyingly dedicated. But instead of becoming scary, Swallow remains shallow. (R)—MAJ

1. Singer at Barack’s 2009 inauguration ceremony 7. Strike callers 11. Scand. land 14. Does crosswords, say 15. Decline 16. Hesitant sounds 17. Comedian Nanjiani who once joked that Microsoft spell check thinks his first name should be “camel” 18. Black-and-white treat 19. “Wayne’s World” catchword 20. Stick-in-the-mud types 22. Actress Ronan who has told people her first name rhymes with “inertia” 24. Dorsal ____ 25. Hägar’s wife, in the comics 27. Move stealthily 28. Not fooled by 30. Amenities at some hotels 32. 1980s-’90s German leader Helmut 33. Marsh flora 35. IV + IV 37. Usual victim of Bart’s prank calls 38. Actress/singer Barbra who once told Tim Cook to reprogram Siri to change the second “s” in her last name to a soft s 42. 7-Down crew 45. 1922-91 initials 46. Bready bunch?

50. Mull (over) 52. Resell, as concert tickets 55. Bar in a bathroom 56. “Peace out!”

58. Warm welcome?

60. First show to win 50 Emmys, in brief 61. Actor Chiwetel who said, growing up, people asked him what he was “so edgy for” 63. Do a certain hybrid winter sport 65. ____-X 66. Woman who took a “roll in ze hay” in “Young Frankenstein” 68. Actress Rebecca who has said her last name is pronounced “like the lettuce” 69. Works in a museum 70. Hoot 71. Is forbidden to 72. MGM rival of the ‘30s 73. Blues singer James 74. Lines screenwriters didn’t write

EMMA. BBB.5 Before smartphones and Instagram, there were influencers— and they could be as shallow, overconfident and pejorative as they are today. This new adaptation of Jane Austen’s novel brings that sort of modern frisson to the tale of a rich young woman (Anya Taylor-Joy) who amuses herself by interfering in the romantic lives of those around her. Taylor-Joy’s Emma is a queen bee with more sting than previous depictions of the character; there’s real bite, too, in Johnny Flynn’s Mr. Knightley, the family friend who acts (reluctantly) as Emma’s conscience. A recurring visual motif by director Autumn de Wilde, of schoolgirls in blood-red cloaks fluttering through Emma’s village of Highbury, is a vivid splash of color amid the soft hues of the movie’s palette, evoking The Handmaid’s Tale in this story’s suggestion of women’s highest achievements as marriage and baby-making. Yes, there’s light entertainment to be had here, including Bill Nighy being Bill Nighy as Emma’s widower father.

But Austen’s wisdom about men, women, life and love takes on a sly, penetrating zing. While comedy of manners might seem like fluff and nonsense, it was—and remains—deadly serious, too.

(PG)—MaryAnn Johanson

ONWARD BB A familiar Pixar premise—“What if [fill-in-the-blank] had feelings?”—almost never provides a compelling reason for why this story needed to be told in this setting. Elven brothers Ian (Tom Holland) and Barley (Chris Pratt) begin a quest to complete a spell that will bring their late father back to life for a single day. What follows is vintage mismatched-buddy comedy, and while neither role is a stretch for the respective voice actors, their chemistry carries the story a fairly long way. But it’s not easy otherwise to connect to this milieu, as the creative team fails to establish the unique normalcy of fantasy creatures in the modern world. (PG)—SR

ACROSS

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THE ASSISTANT BBB.5 Yes, it’s partly a #MeToo story with a thinly-disguised swipe at Harvey Weinstein—but writer-director Kitty Green has actually tackled something thornier. It’s structured as a single working day in the life of Jane (Julia Garner), just five weeks into her job as assistant to a film production company chairman when she begins to suspect he might be a sexual predator. That component of the story takes a while to emerge, leaving deceptively mundane events that establish the environment as one predicated on who has power—on display most horrifyingly when Jane tries to report her suspicions to human resources. Garner delivers a terrific, subtle performance, even though Jane never gets a big showpiece scene as either victim or hero. The Assistant explores the kind of manipulation that makes good people keep their heads down and their mouths shut. (R)—Scott Renshaw

I STILL BELIEVE BB.5 Andrew and Jon Ervin’s new faith-based drama I Still Believe is based on the story of real-life Christian singer/songwriter Jeremy Camp (KJ Apa) falling in love at his Bible college with Melissa LynnHenning (Britt Robertson), who develops ovarian cancer. Yes, it’s Love Story but with God stuff; the Erwin boys are practically shameless in presenting this tale of figurative and literal star-crossed lovers who must keep their love alive before one of them has to meet their maker. Apa and Robertson do make a couple whose creamy, sparkling good looks are much better suited for a wide screen than Hallmark Channel, constantly letting people know they are available to star in future Nicholas Sparks adaptations. In its own maudlin yet comforting way, I Still Believe reminds us that Christians are people too. And a lot of them aren’t tools! (PG)—Craig D. Lindsey

ROMIJN

BY DAVID LEVINSON WILK

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THE WOMAN WHO LOVES GIRAFFES At Park City Film Series, March 20-21, 8 p.m. & March 22, 6 p.m.

(NR)

THE INVISIBLE MAN BBB.5 A horror film might deliver a solid metaphorical exploration of a hotbutton issue, but to get an audience to pay attention, it also needs to deliver the genre goods. Writer-director Leigh Whannell follows Cecilia (Elisabeth Moss), who is told that her abusive ex-boyfriend, optics technology entrepreneur Adrian (Oliver Jackson-Cohen), has committed suicide—but she begins to believe that he’s stalking her invisibly. There’s potent material here exploring PTSD, gaslighting and victim-blaming, and Moss makes it all resonate with a ferocious performance. But it never feels like a lecture thanks to Whannell’s thrilling direction, which makes remarkable use of the empty parts of his framing and ominous off-screen space. If the final act’s overt violence proves less engrossing than the slow build-up, it nonetheless asks you to look the horror of such abuse right in its very-visible face. (R)—SR

© 2020

No math is involved. The grid has numbers, but nothing has to add up to anything else. Solve the puzzle with reasoning and logic. Solving time is typically 10 to 30 minutes, depending on your skill and experience.

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THE HUNT BB The much-publicized premise is basically true: Wealthy liberals drug and kidnap a bunch of conservatives, and let them loose to chase them down for sport. The back-story is only slightly more complicated, as director Craig Zobel and screenwriters Damon Lindelof and Nick Cuse (The Leftovers) draw virtually every one of their characters as a cartoon of either fuming MAGAs or platitude-spewing snowflakes, vaguely connected by some notion of an unnecessary war instigated by confirmation bias. The one exception—audience surrogate Crystal (Betty Gilpin)—seems intended to represent all the “normal Americans” caught between Both Sides extremists, but even she is left as a type rather than a person. Everything that’s kind of gruesomely startling about the kickoff of “the hunt” itself, including familiar faces making surprisingly early exits, is buried in an allegory that’s only really fun when it’s just-plain-gory. (R)—SR

Complete the grid so that each row, column, diagonal and 3x3 square contain all of the numbers 1 to 9.

CINEMA CLIPS

38 | MARCH 19, 2020

B R E Z S N Y

Go to realastrology.com for Rob Brezsny’s expanded weekly audio horoscopes and daily text-message horoscopes.

Audio horoscopes also available by phone at 877-873-4888 or 900-950-7700.

We interrupt your regularly scheduled horoscopes to offer insights about the virus-driven turning point that the whole world is now experiencing.

As you’ve probably guessed, all of us are being invited to reevaluate everything we think we know about what it means to be human. I refer to this unprecedented juncture as The Tumultuous Upgrade or The Disruptive Cure. It’s fraught with danger and potential opportunities, crisis and possible breakthroughs.

And while the coronavirus is the main driving force, it won’t be the only factor. We must be ready for more Rough, Tough Healings disguised as Bumpy Challenges in the coming months.

Here’s the astrological lowdown: Throughout 2020, there’s a rare confluence of three planets in Capricorn: Pluto, Saturn and Jupiter. They are synergizing each other’s impacts in ways that confound and rattle us. In the best-case scenario, they’ll also energize us to initiate brave transformations in our own personal lives, as well as in our communities.

Below is a profile of each planet’s meaning.

When we are in intense and intimate relationship with Pluto—as we are now—we’re invited to dive down deeper: to see life from the soul’s perspective rather than from the ego’s; to seek wealth and meaning not as they’re defined by the material world but as they’re understood by the part of us that’s eternal. Descending into the mysterious Plutonian depths can be disruptive to our conscious beliefs and intentions, but might ultimately be profoundly regenerative.

When we are in intense and intimate relationship with Saturn, we’re invited to get more serious and focused; to register the fact that we don’t have unlimited time and energy, but must firmly decide what’s important and what’s not. We’re asked to be ruthlessly honest about the roles that are most likely to bring out the best in us.

When we are in intense and intimate relationship with Jupiter, we’re invited to risk growth and expansion; to take proactive responsibility for seeking the rich experiences that our souls long for; to aggressively enhance our lust for life.

Now I invite you to meditate on the potent mix of Plutonian, Saturnian and Jupiterian energies. I encourage you to respond to the convulsion by deepening your understanding of how profoundly interconnected we all are and upgrading the way you take care of yourself, the people you love and our natural world.

In the horoscopes below, I suggest personal shifts that will be available to you during this once-in-a-lifetime blend of planetary energies.

ARIES (March 21-April 19) Possible crises in the coming months: 1. Your power spot might be challenged or compromised. 2. Your master plan might unravel. 3.

There could be disruptions in your ability to wield your influence.

Potential opportunities: 1. You’ll be motivated to find an even more suitable power spot. 2. A revised master plan will coalesce. 3. You’ll be resourceful as you discover novel ways to wield your influence.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20) Possible crises in the coming months: 1. Your vision of the big picture of your life might dissipate. 2. Old reliable approaches to learning crucial lessons and expanding your mind could lose their effectiveness. Potential opportunities: 1. You’ll be inspired to develop an updated vision of the big picture of your life. 2. Creative new strategies for learning and expanding your mind will invigorate your personal growth.

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GEMINI (May 21-June 20) Possible crises in the coming months: 1. There might be breakdowns in communication with people you care about. 2. Contracts and agreements could fray. 3. Sexual challenges might complicate love. Potential opportunities: 1. You’ll be inspired to reinvent the ways you communicate and connect. 2. Your willingness to revise agreements and contracts could make them work better for all concerned. 3. Sexual healing will be available.

CANCER (June 21-July 22) Possible crises in the coming months: 1. Friends and associates could change in ways that are uncomfortable for you. 2. Images

and expectations that people have of you might not match your own images and expectations. Potential opportunities: 1. If you’re intelligent and compassionate as you deal with the transformations in your friends and associates, your relationships could be rejuvenated. 2. You might become braver and more forceful in expressing who you are and what you want.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) Possible crises in the coming months: 1. Your job might not suit you as well as you wish. 2. A health issue could demand more of your attention than you’d like. Potential opportunities: 1. You’ll take innovative action to make your job work better for you. 2. In your efforts to solve a specific health issue, you’ll upgrade your entire approach to staying healthy long-term.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) Possible crises in the coming months: 1. Love might feel confusing or unpredictable. 2. You might come up against a block to your creativity. Potential opportunities: 1. You’ll be energized to generate new understandings about how to ensure that love works well for you. 2. Your frustration with a creative block will motivate you to uncover previously hidden keys to accessing creative inspiration.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) Possible crises in the coming months: 1. You might experience disturbances in your relationships with home and family. 2. You might falter in your ability to maintain a strong foundation. Potential opportunities: 1. Domestic disorder could inspire you to reinvent your approach to home and family, changing your life for the better.

2. Responding to a downturn in your stability and security, you’ll build a much stronger foundation.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) Possible crises in the coming months: 1. There might be carelessness or a lack of skill in the ways you and your associates communicate and cultivate connectivity. 2. You might have problems blending elements that really need to be blended. Potential opportunities: 1. You’ll resolve to communicate and cultivate connectivity with a renewed panache and vigor. 2. You’ll dream up fresh approaches to blending elements that need to be blended.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) Possible crises in the coming months: 1. Money might be problematic.

2. Your personal integrity might undergo a challenge. 3. You could get lax about translating your noble ideas into practical actions.

Potential opportunities: 1. You’ll find inventive solutions for boosting your wealth. 2. You’ll take steps to ensure your ethical code is impeccable. 3. You’ll renew your commitment to translating your noble ideals into practical action.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) Possible predicament during the coming months: You might have an identity crisis. Who are you, anyway? What do you really want?

What are your true intentions? Potential opportunity: You’ll purge self-doubts and fuzzy self-images. You’ll rise up with a fierce determination to define yourself with clarity and intensity and creativity.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) Possible crises in the coming months: 1. You’ll be at risk for botched endings. 2. You might be tempted to avoid solving long-term problems whose time is up. Potential opportunities: 1. You’ll make sure all endings are as graceful and complete as possible. 2. You’ll dive in and finally resolve long-term problems whose time is up.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20) Possible crises in the coming months: 1. Due to worries about your self-worth, you might not accept the help and support that are available. 2. Due to worries about your self-worth, you might fail to bravely take advantage of chances to reach a new level of success.

Potential opportunities: 1. You’ll take dramatic action to enhance your sense of self-worth, empowering you to welcome the help and support you’re offered and take advantage of chances to reach a new level of success.

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Green Play

I’ve written about self-made local millionaire Dell Loy Hansen before. He’s the guy who owns the RSL soccer team, and is president of Wasatch Property Management Inc. His portfolio includes the radio station that airs my favorite morning talk program, “Radio From Hell,” and about a trillion apartment buildings. His bio on Real’s website states that his property management company employs 600 people, manages 12,000 apartment buildings, five condo buildings and 20 commercial buildings worth a combined $1.2 billion. But wait. He also owns a dozen venture companies in three states that include recycling and waste disposal, plastic injection and molding, a wood mill and a golf course. He also owns a $1.3 million one-of-a-kind 1894 U.S. dime that he bought last year at an auction. And think, he started with just a few rental properties.

Hansen’s been leading the pack recently with groundbreaking ways to help save our planet through virtual power plants, solar energy, lithium batteries, etc. One local apartment project, “Soleil Lofts” in Herriman, has 600 units that function not just as housing but as a renewable backup for the local power. The $125-million project is setting a standard with what to date might be the biggest solar power plant in a residential project in this country. Because of the savings on power, rents are less than the going rate (say $1,400 for two bedrooms for an average Salt Lake apartment in a new downtown high rise versus $1,200 at Soleil.

Bigger news? The entire RSL stadium is powered by the sun, too. You might have noticed on your way to a game that carports in the parking lot have metal roofing with solar panels. This is the largest array of privately owned solar panels in the state. Up until now, the installation generated 73% of the total power needs for the stadium, but Dell Loy, Auric Solar and Rocky Mountain Power are working to make the entire stadium 100% net-zero.

It’s hard to imagine how much power electronic billboards, signage and lighting costs for the 50+ events held each year at the stadium, but it’s got to be millions of kilowatt hours.

With a TRAX station just outside the stadium, this space in Sandy is a green dot on the map of earth-friendly areas in the state. Other stadiums are following the net-zero movement, like the newer San Francisco 49ers Levi Field, which has 49 solar rooftop panels. Brazil built one for the 2104 World Cup. The Phillie Eagles generate all their own electricity onsite; the Sounders and Seahawks play in an EnergyStar rated stadium; and the Patriots not only have solar panels but wind energy systems to power their venue shopping center next door. Other stadiums are getting greener and greener not just to save the planet but to save the big bucks of energy consumption. n Content is prepared expressly for Community and is not endorsed by City Weekly staff.

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WEIRD

Unclear on the Concept For two whole years, Caelie Wilkes nurtured a lovely green succulent in her kitchen window.

She watered it, wiped dust off its leaves and forbade anyone else from caring for it. “It was full, beautiful coloring, just an overall perfect plant,” Wilkes wrote in a Facebook post from Feb. 28. Recently, Upworthy reported, she decided it was time to transplant it into a pretty new pot. So imagine her dismay when she pulled up the succulent and realized it was plastic, rooted in Styrofoam with sand glued to the top. “How did I not know this?” she wondered. “I feel like these last two years have been a lie.” Wilkes suffered some ridicule on social media, but her local Home Depot reached out with some real, living succulents that Wilkes can shower with love and attention.

Bright Idea An innovative jewel thief in Melbourne, Australia, was caught on camera using a fishing rod to burgle a Versace necklace from a store window on Feb. 24. ABC News reports the thief carefully broke a hole in the window to avoid setting off the alarm, then spent almost three hours trying to hook the costume jewelry necklace, worth about $800. He worked with two differentsized rods before finally snagging the necklace. Store owner Steven Adigrati called the heist “outrageous and courageous,” although he suspected the thief was unaware that the piece was relatively inexpensive. “This particular necklace looks a lot more expensive than what it is ... gold, bright, iconic Medusa head,” he explained. Police are still searching for the fisherman.

A Dream Come True Residents of Settecani, a small village in Italy, were startled on March 4 when their kitchen and bathroom taps began dispensing red wine rather than water, United Press International

n Keith Redl of Dawson Creek, British Columbia, was more than a little annoyed when the prize his 8-year-old grandson won in a raffle turned out to be $200 worth of cannabis products and accessories: chocolate edibles, vanilla chai and other products, along with a pipe and lighter. At a fundraiser for youth hockey in early March, Redl told CTV, the boy’s father had given him $10 worth of tickets to bid on whichever prizes he liked. The little boy thought he was bidding on chocolate. “My grandson thought he had won a great prize,” Redl said, but when he was told he couldn’t have any of it, “He was mad ... How do you explain that to a kid?”

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EW EW EW! A mother in Saint-Malo, France, filed a complaint with police on Feb. 25 against Danone, the manufacturer of powdered baby formula. Police told AFP the woman’s 3-month-old daughter became ill in November with a high temperature, and the mother took her to the emergency room. “Several days later,” authorities said, “[the baby] vomited a worm about 6 to 7 centimeters long” — about the length of an adult index finger. In the report, the mother said the worm had been examined at a hospital and was determined to be of a parasitic type. She decided to take action after learning of two other cases, one in central France where living larvae were found in a container of the same brand of formula. A spokesperson from Danone told a news conference that without the containers, “several hypotheses could explain the presence of an insect,” but the formula is never exposed to air in its production chain.

Latest Religious Messages Self-described Christian prophet Cindy Jacobs declared the coronavirus against the law on March 4: “We say, in the name of Jesus, ‘Virus, you are illegal. This is God’s Earth.’” Dead State reported that Jacobs went on to tell an enthusiastic group of supporters, “I don’t know if everybody will get healed,” but “We’re going to decree that the coronavirus will cease worldwide.”

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The Foreign Press The ancient legend about St. Patrick driving Ireland’s snakes into the sea could only be salt in the wound of a 22-year-old man from Dublin, who appears to be the first person in Ireland to suffer a venomous snake bite, The Irish Post reported on Feb. 29. The man’s pet puff adder bit him, prompting a visit to Connolly Hospital, where doctors consulted with experts from the National Reptile Zoo. James Hennessy, zoo director, explained that “puff adder venom is pretty nasty. It’s going to start digesting and disintegrating all around the area of the bite, and that will continue up the limb as well. It will then cause massive internal issues as well, if not treated.” (FYI, scientists say it was probably the Ice Age that kept snakes out of Ireland.)

Awesome!

Ohio college student Mendl Weinstock, 21, kidded his sister, Riva, five years ago that when she gets married, he will bring a llama to the wedding as his plus-one. So when Riva tied the knot on March 1, Mendl made good on his promise, showing up with a rented llama named Shockey, wearing a custom-made tuxedo.

Riva was unamused, but conceded to CNN: “When my brother puts his mind to something, he gets it done.” Mendl spent $400 to rent the llama but said it was worth every penny. Shockey spent about 30 minutes taking photos with amused guests outside the venue, but friends who were in on the joke seated two inflatable llamas at one of the tables inside. Riva said she’ll get her revenge: “He should sleep with one eye open.”

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The Litigious Society Chuck E. Cheese may be “where a kid can be a kid,” but for one Portland, Oregon, patron, it’s where a woman can get her long hair caught in a ticket machine. Ashreana Scott is suing Chuck E. Cheese’s parent company for $1,000 after alleging her hair was tangled for 20 minutes in a machine that counts tickets for prize redemption, The Oregonian reported. In the lawsuit, Scott said the Dec. 8 incident caused injuries, discomfort and headaches, and she wants a jury trial and a sign posted near the machine to warn others. A manager at the restaurant declined to comment on the lawsuit, but said the machines already have warning signs.

reported. Locals quickly identified the wine as Lambrusco Grasparossa, which is produced at a nearby winery, and officials there found a leak that sent wine from a silo into water pipes. Some quick-thinking residents said they bottled as much of the tap wine as they could before the problem was resolved.

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SUMMONS BY PUBLICATION IN THE SALT LAKE CITY DEPT. OF THE THIRD JUDICIAL DISTRICT COURT, SALT LAKE COUNTY, STATE OF UTAH. CASE NO. 209903680, JUDGE VERNICE TREASE. CASCADE COLLECTIONS LLC,PLAINTIFF V. Brenda Montalvo, DEFENDANT. THE STATE OF UTAH TO Brenda Montalvo: You are summoned and required to answer the complaint that is on file with the court. Within 21 days after the last date of publication of this summons, you must file your written answer with the clerk of the court at the following address: 450 S State St., Salt Lake City, UT 84114, and you must mail or deliver a copy to plaintiff’s attorney Chad C. Rasmussen at 2230 N University Pkwy., Ste. 7E, Provo, UT 84604. If you fail to do so, judgment by default will be taken against you for the relief demanded in the complaint. This lawsuit is an attempt to collect a debt of $600.00. /s/ Chad C. Rasmussen

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