City Weekly September 12, 2019

C I T Y W E E K LY . N E T

S E P T. 1 2 , 2 0 1 9 | V O L . 3 6

ELIMINATION ROUND

N0. 16

Democrats have cut the field in half. Who’s left to give Donald Trump a run for his money?*

*No one knows how much money Donald Trump really has since he won’t release his tax returns.

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2 | SEPTEMBER 12, 2019

CWCONTENTS COVER STORY THEN THERE WERE 10

Gone are a bunch of presidential candidates you’ve never heard of and a couple you probably know.

Cover illustration by Jonathan Hill

12

CONTRIBUTOR

4 LETTERS 6 OPINION 10 NEWS 16 A&E 22 DINE 26 MUSIC 36 CINEMA 37 COMMUNITY

NICOLE MCNULTY

News, p. 10 After rambling in her van, the freelance journalist now calls Utah home. Her interests include the great outdoors, actions sports, human rights and community activism.

For this week’s issue, she chats with a Utah County vet on his thoughts of Syria’s decentralized government model.

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SOAP BOX @SLCWEEKLY @SLCWEEKLY @CITYWEEKLY

Cover story, Aug. 29, “Unfair Acts”

Hear, hear! BYU and the LDS church need to be named, shamed and held accountable for their policies. Let the school and its athletics program whither on the vine. And the rivalry with the U hardly qualifies as a rivalry anymore with nine consecutive losses for BYU. VICTOR GOLD Via Facebook There are so many things in this article that are just plain wrong it makes my head spin. While BYU is openly bigoted, the shame is that the schools who do business with them, especially those that have “strict” anti discrimination policies are the biggest hypocrites of all.

ED THATSME Via Facebook Because the Utes will whoop their ass! Sorry I’ll go ahead and read it now.

Impulse control, folks.

Let’s work on it together.

ROMANS BUHMBAHKS Via Facebook Call it the Audit Bowl.

MARQUES SHAW Via Facebook

Opinion, Aug. 29, “All Hands on Deck: GOP sheep wearing MAGA hats can’t stall the country’s precipitous slide from grace”

Stall? They’re greasing the skid.

MIKE CORONELLA Via Facebook

Those people wearing those hats are causing this country’s fall from grace.

Are you kidding me?

DIANE ARMSTRONG Via Facebook Playing with the analogy. We’ve been boarded by pirates who have run us aground. We’re taking on water, the decks are awash. We’ve manned the pumps. It’s not clear if we’re making progress.

Our officers have different plans to get us afloat and off the reef. The hull is sound ...

DENNIS READ HANKS Via Twitter The job of the demagogue is to make the enemy a friend and the friend an enemy.

ED THATSME Via Facebook

News, Aug. 29, “Second Coming: How a gay kid who loves Disney princesses became Utah’s most divisive drag queen”

The death threats and rage are too much. She obviously thrives off being a contrarian. I’m glad liberals created a world for her that dressing as a woman isn’t the most controversial

thing about her.

BRETT COFFIN Via Facebook

Online news post, Sept.

3, “Olympic Grind: Gov. Herbert teams with skateboarding legend Tony Hawk in honor of new skatepark”

Yeah. Skateboarding. That’s some real Tour de France level shit right there.

JARED LEE Via Facebook Paid to play in the air.

Competitive eaters are better athletes AMANDA ROTH ROSE Via Twitter Who better to know about defying reason than Herbie? Well, maybe the Legislature.

DENNIS READ HANKS Via Twitter It may defy your understanding, governor, but it doesn’t defy reason.

BRYAN LEITR Via Facebook

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OPINION

A Single-Use Throw-Away World

To say the least, Utahns have had a historic dislike—and distrust—of the United Nations. Over the years, a number of church leaders have expressed hostility to the organization and its goals. In 1947, David O. McKay—who later became the ninth president of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints—expressed a dim view of the fledgling organization, stating, “... unless the spirit of Christianity permeates the deliberations of the United Nations, dire tragedies await humanity.”

While McKay’s hostility softened over time, Utah’s faithful have never claimed to be the U.N.’s best supporters. In fact, in 2001 the LaVerkin (Washington County) Town Council actually declared its town a “U.N. Free Zone,” making it illegal for any U.N. personnel or facilities to be located within the city limits, outlawing any U.N.-funded programs or sponsored activities, making it a crime for the townsfolk to serve the United Nations in any capacity and restricting the city from investing in anything related to the global organization. (Oh, yes, folks, it meant that any child found trick-or-treating for UNICEF could have faced harsh fines and prison time.)

Predictably, the law was rescinded because it trampled free speech, rights of assembly, and other fundamentals of the U.S. Constitution. But, the anti-U.N. sentiment was not dead; only a few years later, a bill was put before the Utah Legislature denouncing the U.N. and declaring that Utah was not a part of it. The bill failed. (Just a note for you history buffs: The town was named LaVerkin in order to rhyme with the local pronunciation of Hurricane—Her-kin.)

BY MICHAEL S. ROBINSON SR. Ezra Taft Benson, 13th president of the LDS church, was known for his McCarthy-esque anti-communist rants. He was also a rabid believer in world conspiracies, warned of the danger of giving authority to a world organization and asserted that a non-American military force would not facilitate world peace. Remarkably, his words, as it turns out, were suitably prophetic; the ideal of world peace is even further away than it was when Benson said it.

But now it’s 2019, and Salt Lake City recently hosted the first major U.N. conference to ever be held outside its New York headquarters. (LaVerkinites were nowhere to be found.) Even more ominous was the name of the event, the 68th Annual Civil Society Conference, and its purpose— to discuss sustainability in our essentially out-of-control world. Indeed, on the schedule were considerations of renewable energy, adequate food supplies, poverty, clean water, health, infrastructure, transport, education, migration, violence and gender equality. Not to be missed was the subject of overpopulation. The world went from 6 billion people to 7 billion between 1999 and 2011. In the past eight years, it has reached 7.7 billion. Surely the statistics make it clear: The world cannot sustain that level of population growth. Yet, Utah’s baby factories keep popping ’em out.

Any talk of responsible procreation is viewed, in our state, as an assault on one of Mormonism’s most fundamental doctrines. The LDS church has always preached that members need to provide bodies for the yet-unborn, and that, when all those little spirits have obtained mortality, the earth will have fulfilled its purpose, preparing for the final battle between good and evil and the return of Jesus as the Earth’s ruler and king.

Needless to say, that is the reason why Utah’s birth rate is America’s highest, and gives a very credible explanation of why Utah’s Mormons seem to subscribe to Trump’s

maniacal disregard for the environment. The reality is, a high percentage of our population believes in a single-use, disposable world. (Since the world’s going to end very soon, the notion that we should be good stewards of our planet is patently irrelevant.) It certainly isn’t the first time that religion has steered people away from their deepest human responsibilities.

The U.N. meeting, which ended on Aug. 28, caused such a furor within the community, that dozens of long-hibernating anti-U.N. bears stormed from their dens. Predictably, the rhetoric of critics has increased in volume, and new websites have emerged decrying the evils of the U.N.— particularly its indictment of personal entitlement and how such entitlement endangers the welfare of the world populations.

For Utah’s Mormon elect, anticipating their own godhood and worlds of their own, the idea of sharing and conserving resources is entirely repugnant—and unnecessary. For them the U.N. really is a foreign, evil power, for it aims to remedy some of the inequality that curses our world and leaves so many people in the strangling grip of poverties—medical, nutritional, educational and social.

While the U.N. doesn’t have all the answers, it has certainly identified the sustainability issues for the world’s burgeoning population. Humankind cannot keep going like it has, nor can Utah’s religious-faithful count on the caveat that “the end is nigh.” It’s time for the Bible-toting nay-sayers to understand that it’s everyone’s responsibility to protect what we have—for our generation and generations to come.

It’s a wonderful world, and it’s everyone’s job to keep it that way. CW

The author is a former Vietnam-era Army assistant public information officer. He resides in Riverton with his wife, Carol, and one mongrel dog. Send feedback to comments@cityweekly.net

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If you live in the Park City area, you won’t want to miss Park City Engagement Matters: Connecting With Your State Reps. In fact, you might want to hear them out even if you’re not from the area. Find out what they really care about and how to interact with them— and any legislator—so that you can have a voice. Sen. Allen Christensen, R-North Ogden; Sen. Ron Winterton, R-Roosevelt; Rep. Brian King, D-Salt Lake City; Rep. Tim Quinn, R-Heber; and Rep. Logan Wilde, R-Croydon, will be there. Tax reform, health care, firearms safety are all issues that are on the table for the upcoming legislative session. You might not be a paid lobbyist, but community activism matters, and here is a way to find out how to highlight your concerns.

Park City Library, Community Room, 1255 Park Ave., Thursday, Sept. 12, 6 p.m., free, bit.ly/2lZfyZu.

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The Amazon is on fire, the Bahamas and the Southeast coast are awash with Hurricane Dorian, June was the hottest June ever, and now what? You have to wonder how there are any climate deniers left on the globe. Wonder no more. It’s probably politics as usual. Take a stand and join the student-led movement Act Now on Climate Change during the Climate Strike SLC. They gather every Friday at the front of the Capitol to draw awareness to the catastrophic effects of climate change. Don’t let them stand alone. State Capitol, 350 N. State, Friday, Sept. 13, 10 a.m.-2 p.m., free, bit.ly/2knImuv.

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There’s a lot of talk about equality, but what is really being done to reach the goal, and is it attainable? In the second of a three-part series Equality is Not Enough, you hear from Wesley Morris, a critic-at-large at The New York Times and a staff writer at The New York Times Magazine. While it looks like there’s too much work to be done to address inequality, “We can start by including more voices in the conversations,” the event’s website says. “We can unpack and disrupt traditional ways of thinking. We can challenge institutions and devise new ways of viewing our world. And we can cultivate opportunities that enable all of us to thrive.”

S.J. Quinney College of Law, University of Utah, 383 S. University St., Wednesday, Sept. 18, 7-8:30 p.m., $15, bit.ly/UWSL-speaker-series.

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HITS&MISSES

BY KATHARINE BIELE @kathybiele

Religious Pushback

For those who remember 1960, you undoubtedly remember John F. Kennedy. But did you know the pushback and criticism he endured as a candidate because of his religion? JFK was Catholic, and that sent up red flags. Would he answer to the Vatican? The last time religious prejudice was brought up in a campaign was in 1928 during the stunningly failed candidacy of New York Gov. Al Smith. But Kennedy dealt with it openly, reciting his “I am not the Catholic candidate for president” speech.

Sen. Mitt Romney dealt with similar questions about his religion—The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Yes he lost, but it was likely due more to his lack of support among young people and minorities. Now, along comes Rocky Anderson, former Salt Lake City mayor and provocateur, saying state Sen. Luz Escamilla is unfit for the office of mayor because of her Mormon affiliation. Well, not exactly.

He questioned her independence, seeing how some legislative votes aligned with church policy. Given that 90% of state legislators are Mormon, Escamilla probably wasn’t alone. Rocky questioned “whether the public interest is going to be betrayed, yet again, by a Utah politician beholden to special interests, including the Mormon church.” He wasn’t wrong to question, but he should know circumstantial evidence when he sees it. Does Escamilla walk in lockstep with the church? It’s a fair question that only the voters can decide. Salt Lake Tribune columnist Michelle Quist, a conservative, Mormon attorney, decided to ride to Escamilla’s defense, stoking Rocky’s fire and brimstone. The LDS church can take it. They know how to play the game. But the big question is where Escamilla is on this. She has been all but silent. Now it’s time for her to speak out.

Be like JFK. Or end up like Al Smith.

An Inland Miss

Does anyone doubt that the inland port is a done deal, no matter the facts, the politics or the rationale? What is particularly stunning is how tone-deaf the IP elite can be. Jack Hedge came to oversee the port during a protest, the Trib noted. And he said, oh yeah, his biggest job would be to build trust with the community. So what did he do? Oh, he’s a busy and important man—lots of phone calls, meetings and interviews. Those would be with people other than critics. He has effectively rebuffed Dorothy Owen, chairwoman of the Westpointe Community Council, and Deeda Seed of the Center for Biological Diversity. But he’ll get to them, some day.

Meanwhile, while the port fight goes on, there are plans for another large-scale development in the fragile Northwest Quadrant, according to the Salt Lake County agenda. Open space just screams to be filled.

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NEWS Building a Democracy

COURTESY PHOTO

Local War on Terror vet weighs in on Syria’s decentralized government model.

BY NICOLE McNULTY comments@cityweekly.net @nicole_mcnulty

L

ight streams through a glassless window in a stone-walled house while Porter Goodman surveys the articles once belonging to a family. With him in the small Syrian home encircled by an orchard is fellow American Levi Shirley. Shirley makes a wrong move.

The concussive force of expanding gas ruptures the room and sends both men hurtling through the air. While Goodman comes-to, naked on an Iraqi operating table, Shirley isn’t so lucky—another unfortunate casualty of a grisly war.

Goodman is in a daze with shrapnel wounds stretching from the back of his legs to his waist; his injuries only become excruciating when he tries to move. The men around Goodman, due to an intelligence mix-up, inform him he was a passenger of a vehicle which ran over a mine.

In actuality, Shirley triggered an improvised explosive device inside the house.

Shirley convinced Goodman to accompany him to investigate the abandoned residence for souvenirs to trade with the U.S. Special Forces for MREs (Meals Ready to Eat). While these two were interacting with U.S. forces, their presence was not sanctioned by the U.S. government—they were volunteer fighters for the Syrian Democratic Forces (SDF).

Previously known as the YPG (People’s Protection Units), the SDF has been the U.S.’ ally in the fight against ISIS in Syria and has attracted many foreign nationals. The group comprised of mostly Kurdish fighters, both men and women, has gained international legitimacy stemming from its success in combating ISIS and its ability to provide localized governance in Rojava, the autonomous Kurdish region in northern Syria.

Joining the SDF in 2016 at age 28 was not Goodman’s first experience in war, though it was his first experience in direct combat. In 2005, at the ripe age of 17, Goodman joined the Army. This is a family tradition in the Utahn Goodman household: Out of five children, four served in the military, plus their father. All completed short stints in the armed forces in order to pay for their respective Latterday Saint missions and subsequent col-

Porter Goodman, second from right, believes the new form of democracy being implemented by the Kurds is the “democratic confederalist revolution.” lege tuitions. After being stationed in upstate New York, Goodman’s unit—the 10th Mountain Division—deployed to Iraq in 2006 for a 15-month tour. While there, he served on a recovery team. Anytime a vehicle or other was destroyed off-base they would retrieve it. Although never in a fire fight, he and his team were hit by IEDs. Without that Army experience, Goodman says, he wouldn’t have joined the SDF. “Since I deployed in Iraq, I’ve always had an interest in what’s going on in the region,” Goodman tells City Weekly in his newly furnished townhome tucked against the Provo mountains. “Anyone who’s deployed to Iraq knows that the Kurds in Iraq are our friends. They have our backs.”

After leaving the Army, Goodman, not the stereotypical straight-A student, bounced from college to college, eventually received a degree and became a software developer. He had his finger on the pulse of the Middle East and became enamored with the cause of the SDF. Not only were they pushing for absolute gender equality and protecting persecuted peoples, they were also implementing a new form of localized governance—the first successful democratic experiment of its kind in the Middle East in arguably decades.

He found the YPG’s website, informed them of his experience and filled out a questionnaire designed to rule out bloodlusters. The group’s response was in the form of an invitation to join them in Syria.

At the time, Goodman’s relationship was fizzling out and it dawned on him that it was well within his power to travel 7,000 miles to join a foreign army. He didn’t think his family would be understanding, though, and informed them he had accepted a job in Connecticut. His family and friends threw him a goodbye party.

“My thinking was, I didn’t want to just disappear,” Goodman says. “I wanted them to be able to say goodbye.”

Upon arriving in Syria, Goodman performed civilian duties in Qamishli on the border with Turkey. For the first

three-and-a-half months, he helped with translation, taught children how to use computers and do basic math.

“I was playing a consulting role,” he says. “I was basically just going around doing random crap.”

He then heard about a frontline medical unit comprised of Westerners and elected to join. The Kurds, he says, do not have many skilled medical personnel in their militaries, and therefore his admittedly outdated civilian EMT training provided by the Army 10 years prior was a sufficient qualification.

In the field, he treated many Kurdish fighters and civilians along with a few ISIS fighters. Even though he and the fighters held starkly opposing worldviews, he still respected them as human.

“I didn’t ever want it to become personal,” Goodman says. “I am against what they are for and I will fight to stop them from achieving what they want to accomplish.”

And what exactly was he fighting for?

He believes the new form of democracy being implemented by the Kurds in Rojava is the “democratic confederalist revolution.”

He believes the new form of democracy being implemented by the Kurds in Rojava, known as democratic confederalism, is revolutionary.

To Goodman, this local governance is helping to solve some of the most entrenched issues in the Middle East: corruption, oppression of women, sectarian strife and the oppression of religious minorities. In this granular system, each group or region is allowed to govern how they best see fit and design laws, public services and communication networks in ways that function for each of them.

Goodman says this works for two reasons: First, the Middle East, prior to the WWI Sykes-Picot Agreement—which imposed arbitrary state lines drawn by European imperialists—functioned on a tribal basis. Secondly, a decentralized government means less room for corruption. The society basically “ignores

the state,” Goodman says.

At the core of democratic confederalism, according to Goodman, is all the power being at the community level.

The Kurdish people are one of the largest stateless groups in the world and instead of trying to fight for independence from the intransigent Bashar al-Assad regime, they took a pragmatic approach: to ignore the president they didn’t vote for and design a society which works well for the inhabitants, Kurdish or not, Goodman says. Rojava was once comprised of three cantons: Afrin in the West and Kobani and Cizere in the East. In February of 2018, though, Turkish forces at the insistence of President Recep Tayyip Erdogan invaded the Afrin Canton and expelled more than 100,000 Kurdish people.

Goodman, although back stateside, still holds strong opinions on the future of the region. One of these is that it is extremely detrimental to not only the Kurdish democratic cause, but the safety of the Kurdish people for the U.S. to pull troops out of the region. President Donald Trump announced earlier this year that he plans to reduce the number of U.S. troops in Syria from 2,000 to 200, all while keeping their mission intact. According to Goodman, this will be a direct threat to the democracybuilding the Kurdish people have engaged in, and will also leave them unprotected from Turkish incursions.

President Trump is framing U.S. troops remaining in Syria as an intractable war akin to the U.S. involvement in Iraq, but a main difference is that the U.S. is not planting seeds of democracy, the U.S. is merely helping the Kurds succeed on a mission which they began themselves, Goodman says.

“Democracy building that someone else is doing for themselves. How refreshing is that?” Goodman says. “And we’re already there to support that, we’re in position. We don’t have to mobilize anything to help them succeed, all we have to do is stay on the ground.” CW

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SEPTEMBER 12, 2019 | 11

elmut “Rick” Goeller was born in Offenbacham Main, Germany to George and Herta Goeller (Schmidt) on September 24, 1948. He was their first-born and definitely their most mischievous child. The family (4 of them at that time) moved from Germany to Utah, coming through Ellis Island, on January 27, 1954. The Goeller Family always thrived in Utah, Rick especially, being an incredible entrepreneur, devoted father of 4, loving husband, dedicated grandfather of 6 and all around unforgettable friend and family member.

Professionally, Rick formed the Soundtrack in the early 1970s and then Car Concepts in October 1983 thereby elevating the car audio industry forever. He had a contagious sense of pride, passion and innovation.

He was self-educated and one of the most intelligent and hilarious people you’d ever meet. He was quite blunt and his words often cut to the bone.

Many were afraid to enter his office but for every grouchy moment, he had a generous, amazing moment to match and the size of his heart was incomparable.

Rick had a very competitive nature and was extremely athletic. His slam shots while playing tennis were to be feared. Besides sports, he had many talents and loves in his life. He built the world’s best blanket huts and loved snuggling with his kids and grandkids in them and telling them the most original, strange and spooky stories. He made the best hot dogs with cheese whiz. He played for hours and hours with his family in hisbeloved backyard swimming pool.

He cherished the simple things in life and always called his family out to “Come, look at the snow falling!” He would pull over for a beautiful sunset and he would often pause mid-conversation just to listen to the sound of the trees in the wind. His favorite fruits were Starbursts and his favorite places/ activities were date nights in Wendover, family time in Bear Lake and riding his bike along the boardwalk in San Diego.

San Diego was where he had his final wish fulfilled and was able to put his feet in the ocean one last time on August 12, 2019, the night before he passed away. Ironically, he probably chose to pass on the 13th with his deep love for all things horror-related, especially Stephen King.

Rick was taken horribly, unfairly, and painfully by late stage pancreatic cancer. He survived 5 months longer than every doctor thought, thanks to his incredible caretakers, namely - his loving wife, Robyn who he was with for the past 37 years. Robyn would like all of those families who are going through this atrocious battle to know her heart is with you and our family is always available for support.

Rick is preceded in death by his mother and father, George and Herta, step-mother, Gerarda Goeller as well as his siblings, Marion, Norma and Norbert Goeller. Rick is survived by his “little woman”, Robyn; his children: Ryan (Andrea), Lindsay “Lindy Sue”, Alexx “Ali McGraw”, Jessica “Jack”, his grandchildren: Miah “Miah Bird”, Gracie “Baby Grace”, Makenzie “Kooper”, Mazie “Beautiful Girl”, Evelyn “Evy”, Aksel “Aks Man” and Betty White; his sibling: Joanne (Gary), his nieces: Noel “Noey” (Chet), Heather (David), his nephew: Jacob and his great nieces, who are really going to miss their bubble prince: Marion and Bailey.

Auf Wiedersehen, you handsome man.

A celebration of life will be held Friday, September 13, 2019 at Rick’s legendary favorite bar – The Highlander. The event will be Open House style from 5 – 9 PM. Please wear purple in honor of Rick’s favorite color. In lieu of flowers, please consider donating to the cancer-fighting organization of your choice. Stay strong and be well.

ELECTION 2020: Then There Were 10

12 | SEPTEMBER 12, 2019

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Gone are a bunch of presidential candidates you’ve never heard of and a couple you probably know. We size up the Democrats who’ve qualified for Thursday night’s debate.

T

he culling has begun. Jay Inslee is out. So are Kirsten Gillibrand, Mike Gravel and John Hickenlooper.

And the next debate for the 2020 Democratic presidential primary is one night only. Meaning Thursday night’s debate meant racking up more than 130,000 individual donors and getting 2% support in at least four qualifying polls. That means you won’t see Tom Steyer, Tulsi Gabbard or Marianne Williamson on the debate stage.

Under the shadow of Donald Trump’s presidency, plenty of Democrats feel that absolutely nothing is more important than winning the election. If you thought Trump’s done damage now, they say, what could he do with four more years of tweets, tariffs and Supreme Court picks?

Nothing, these Democrats argue, is more important than picking someone who’s “electable.”

And yet, at the same time, Trump’s election has made the very notion of “electability” seem like a farce. Trump got elected. We’re clearly living in a magical realist age of the absurd and fantastical. Anything is possible.

Maybe electability isn’t about being boring, moderate and middle of the road. Maybe the voters aren’t looking for another dull technocrat. After all, nobody wants to end up as the Democratic version of Jeb. And so suddenly a lot of the Democratic candidates aren’t afraid of being called liberal—or even “socialist.”

Back in 2008, Barack Obama wasn’t even willing to endorse same-sex marriage. But today? You have Democrats calling for the government to provide reparations for slavery. Candidates aren’t just talking about universal health care—they’re talking about canceling college debt and expanding the Supreme Court.

There are candidates for Obama liberals who listen to Pod Save America, candidates for the crass dirtbag leftists who listen to the Chapo Trap House podcast and even, chillingly, candidates for the Democrats who don’t listen to podcasts at all.

BY WILSON CRISCIONE, JOSH KELETY, DANIEL WALTERS AND SAMANTHA WOHLFEIL | COMMENTS@CITYWEEKLY.NET PHOTOS BY GAGE SKIDMORE

Here’s the good news for you Democrats: This year, there are enough contenders that, if one of your favorites isn’t chosen and Trump is re-elected, you can always adopt the mantra, “Bernie, Pete, Amy, Joe, Cory or Elizabeth would have won!”

Want to know which candidate is most likely to maim you with a binder? Read on.

Joe Biden, 76

Résumé: Before serving as vice president under former two-term President Barack Obama, Biden was a long-time U.S. senator representing Delaware from 1973 to 2009. (He also ran for president twice.)

Notable moments of his senatorial tenure include voting for the U.S. invasion of Iraq, pushing for tough-on-crime measures like mandatory sentencing laws, and getting the 1994 Violence Against Women Act passed.

Polling: Since entering the Democratic primary, Biden has led the pack of candidates in the polls, currently holding at around 30%.

Talking points: His campaign has been bullish on one message: Biden is best equipped to prevent President Donald Trump from getting re-elected. While his chief competitors in the race, Bernie Sanders and Elizabeth Warren, jockey for the fiery progessive wing of the Democratic Party, Biden proudly positions himself as a legacy centrist

who can unite the country.

Best known for: Being personable, empathetic, folksy and utterly embodying the “Uncle Joe” nickname. But this trait has gotten him into trouble, such as recently taking a beating in the press for being too casual and touchy with women.

Trivia: Biden was just 29 when he won his first campaign for U.S. Senate but turned 30 by the time he was sworn in—the legal minimum age for the office.

What he’d order at a bagel shop: He’d probably ask if they serve pasta before zipping off to the closest Italian joint. (His favorite food is reportedly angel hair pasta.)

Side by side: Biden and Trump are both aging white men who rose to prominence in the political and social context of the ’80s and ’90s, making them cultural dinosaurs in the eyes of millenials and the media. Trump, however, openly embraces authoritarianism and polarization, while Biden maintains a firm belief in an idealized West Wing-esque vision of American democracy where centrist bipartisanship is still a thing. (Josh Kelety)

Cory Booker, 50

Résumé: With roots in New Jersey, Booker worked as a tenant organizer and founded a nonprofit legal clinic for low-income families in Newark before getting elected to the City Council in 1998.

After unsuccessfully running for mayor in 2002, he ran again in

Pete Buttigieg, 37

Julian Castro, 44

Résumé: Born in Texas, Castro was first elected to the San Antonio City Council in 2001 at age 26. After 2005, he eventually was elected mayor in 2009 and served until 2013, during which he instituted a universal pre-K program. In 2014, he joined former President Barack Obama’s cabinet as secretary of Housing and Urban Development.

Polling: Despite some splashy moments in the recent televised Democratic debates, Castro is near the bottom of the pack in national polls with less than 1%.

Talking points: Castro made a name for himself with a specific and bold immigration reform proposal that challenges Trump’s anti-immigration policies. That plan includes policy points like decriminalizing illegal border crossings and limiting the federal government’s ability to arrest and deport undocumented immigrants.

Best known for: Skewering fellow Democratic presidential contender Beto O’Rourke for not doing his “homework” on federal immigration law during a June debate.

Trivia: He has a twin brother, Joaquin—he is also a politician—and while he was on a decorated barge at a 2012 parade in San Antonio, onlookers reportedly mistook him for Julián.

What he’d be like on a date: Charming, eloquent, intelligent, but slightly unnerving because it would be hard to tell if it was actually him or Joaquin serving as a standin—at least initially.

Side by side: They’re basically polar opposites. Castro is Latino, has prior experience in government, and wants to reverse Trump’s current crackdown on undocumented immigrants through a plan that would, among many things, increase the number of refugees that the U.S. admits annually. Trump, meanwhile, has unabashedly described Latino immigration as an “invasion.” (JK)

Kamala Harris, 54

Amy Klobuchar, 59

Résumé: Klobuchar rose from being a corporate lawyer, to a county attorney in Minnesota, to a U.S. senator from Minnesota.

Polling: Pretty dire.

Klobuchar polled at only 0.8% in the last Real Clear

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Politics polls.

Talking points: In the Senate, she’s pushed for funds for more rape kit testing and several bills aimed at combating sex trafficking. For Minnesota, she’s a liberal, but compared to the rest of the Democratic presidential field, she’s downright moderate. She’s one of the few Democratic presidential contenders to avoid endorsing Medicare for All, a stance that’s likely hurting her in the primary, but could help her in the general election. She’s a strong-willed Democratic woman who won’t ignore the Midwestern states. In 2018, according to the Minneapolis Star Tribune, she won 1,250 of the 3,000 Minnesota precincts won by Trump in 2016.

Best known for: Binders thrown by women. Klobuchar’s former staffers share horror stories about her management style, including sabotaging staffers looking for other jobs. And that’s for staffers she likes. Others detailed late-night insulting emails, and one incident where she threw a binder angrily and hit some poor sap.

Trivia: While running for Senate in 2006, Klobuchar claimed she raised $17,000 from ex-boyfriends, not traditionally a powerful donor base.

How she probably orders bagels: “Just bring me something halfway decent for once in your life, but I swear if just one sesame is out of place, you’ll never sell bagels in this town again.”

Side by side: One Washington Post columnist called her “Trump’s Worst Nightmare.” All of Klobuchar’s dirt (she was mean to staff members) suddenly pales in comparison to the long string of Donald Trump scandals, which includes, just to pick one example, the time he withdrew the health insurance supporting his nephew’s infant child, suffering from cerebral palsy, because of a family dispute. On the other hand, there was that report that Klobuchar ate salad with a comb. A comb! (Daniel Walters)

Résumé: One of California’s two U.S. senators since 2017, Harris previously served as the state’s attorney general (2011 to 2017) and before that she was the district attorney for San Francisco (2004 to 2011).

Polling: Among eight polls conducted in August, Harris trended fourth among Democrats, gathering an average of 7 points and trailing Bernie Sanders, Elizabeth Warren and Joe Biden.

Talking points: Harris plans to push for Medicare for All and says that her first move as president would be to reverse tax breaks on wealthy companies and offer tax cred-

its of up to $6,000 for working families each year. She’d also push for criminal justice system reform, including abolishing the death penalty, legalizing marijuana, changing the way drug offenses are handled and ending cash bail—things she failed to support as California’s AG. Best known for: The media spotlight focused intensely on Harris in mid-2017 when she put her prosecutor skills to use, grilling Rod Rosenstein and Jeff Sessions about the firing of former FBI Director James Comey. She was shut down repeatedly by Sens. John McCain and Richard Burr who asked her to be more respectful, sparking a debate about whether a male congressman asking the same questions would’ve garnered the same reaction.

Trivia: Her name comes from the Sanskrit for “lotus.”

If she got a vanity license plate: TRUTHSKR Side by side: Trump has railed against immigrants, making moves to stem legal and illegal immigration, and soon after taking office implemented travel restrictions Harris coined as the “Muslim Ban.” Harris is the daughter of immigrants from India and Jamaica, and says she would reinstate protections for “Dreamers,” put protection in place for their parents, and create a pathway to citizenship for 11 million immigrants already here. (SM)

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Résumé: Buttigieg has served as mayor of South Bend, Ind., since 2012. He was elected at 29, making him the youngest mayor in the country to ever serve a city of 100,000 or more.

A graduate of Harvard and an Oxford Rhodes Scholar, he served as a U.S. Navy Reserve intelligence officer from 2009 to 2017, deploying to Afghanistan in 2014.

Polling: Buttigieg is trending fifth among Democratic contenders in eight polls conducted in August, averaging 4.6 points.

Talking points: As a millennial, Buttigieg says he recognizes there is no stopping the clock and turning it back, but only moving forward. He plans to address job-loss impacts from automation, make system-wide changes to the transportation and energy sectors to combat climate change and crack down on gun violence by banning military-style weapons and investing in the prevention of extremism and domestic terrorism.

Best known for: He’s quickly becoming known for his calm and eloquent answers, both during debates and to hecklers on the campaign trail, with some comparing him to Barack Obama.

Trivia: If elected, Buttigieg would be the youngest president ever and the first to be openly gay.

Likely first-date spot: Pete would take you to the Iowa State Fair, where you’d chow down on every fried thing imaginable, blissfully forgetting those first-date jitters when your fingers brush while reaching for the same pork chop on a stick.

Side by side: Although Buttigieg has no state or federal

level political experience, he still has more years of government experience than Trump, whose only foray into politics has been in the highest office. While Trump took the U.S. out of the Paris Climate Accord, Buttigieg plans to launch a Clean Energy Victory Plan on his first day in office.

(Samantha Wohlfeil)

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2006 and won, serving until 2013, then jumped into a special election for U.S. Senate. He was re-elected in 2014 and has held the seat since.

Polling: Unfortunately for Booker, he’s struggled to make a dent in national polls, consistently notching below five points over the last few months in the crowded field.

Talking points: Booker bills himself as a progressive and a pragmatist who will work within the system and won’t let the perfect get in the way of the good. He touts his focus on criminal justice reform issues, such as his successful bipartisan federal criminal justice reform bill, the First Step Act. In an indication of how he’d handle lofty progressive policy goals, he’s maintained his support for Medicare for All while also indicating that he’s open to keeping private insurance.

Best known for: Booker has espoused a “radical love” for all Americans as a foundational philosophy of his campaign and a broader positive strategy to unify a polarized nation around remedying injustice. But this hasn’t stopped him from taking aggressive shots at Donald Trump or his Democratic rival, Joe Biden.

Trivia: Booker started out as a vegetarian in the ’90s before going full-on vegan in 2014.

Favorite hashtag: He’d mistakenly use #instagood as a stand-in for positive, feel-good righteous, justice vibes when reposting any content referring to the incident where he carried a woman from a burning house in Newark.

Side by side: While Trump eventually signed Booker’s First Step Act into law and has some connections to New Jersey through past real estate plays, that’s where his similarities with Booker end. Trump is increasingly doubling down on white identity politics to replicate his successful 2016 campaign while Booker has said that Trump is “responsible” for the mass shooting in El Paso because he is “stoking fears and hatred and bigotry.” (JK)

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Beto O’Rourke, 46

Résumé: Born in El Paso, Texas, O’Rourke co-founded an internet services and software company before he became an El Paso City Council member from 2005 until 2011. From there, he won a congressional seat representing Texas’ 16th District until 2019. But you probably know him from his unsuccessful bid to unseat Ted Cruz in the U.S. Senate last year.

Polling: 2.1% Talking points: O’Rourke has had trouble separating himself from other candidates, as he’s not quite as far left as Sanders or Warren but not quite as popular as someone like Biden. But since last month’s shooting in El Paso, an exasperated O’Rourke has become fiery—lambasting Trump for racist rhetoric and clearly stating that his intention was for Americans who own AR-15s and AK-47s to sell them to the government.

Best known for: It’s been said that O’Rourke has youth pastor energy. He wants to sell you on his liberal ideas, but he wants to be cool and relatable about it.

Trivia: O’Rourke was once in a punk band called Foss. He was also arrested twice in the ’90s—once on suspicion of burglary, and once for a DUI. What he’d be like on a date: For a while, he’d listen to you, make you feel heard. But then you notice he keeps glancing down at the table, nervously. Don’t do it, you say. But O’Rourke can’t resist. Before you know it, he’s clearing off the food, rolling up his sleeves and shouting about how he will unite the people. You realize that you’ll never be enough.

Because his first love, always, will be the table beneath his feet.

Side by side: His stance on immigration is in sharp contrast with Trump. While Trump wants to build the wall, O’Rourke wants to tear the wall down that separates his hometown of El Paso from the Mexico border. He’s against separating children from their families, and he would provide a pathway to citizenship for undocumented immigrants. (Wilson Criscione)

Bernie Sanders, 77

Résumé: Sanders was elected to Congress as an independent in 1991, serving in the House as a representative of Vermont. He became a senator in 2007 and has remained one ever since.

Polling: 16.3% Talking points: Sanders wants a “political revolution.” And if within five minutes of hearing Sanders talk, you don’t know that Sanders wants to break up Wall Street, provide Medicare for All, and fight for the interests of workers instead of the big bad 1%, then something is seriously wrong. He also wants to cancel all student debt and he supports the Green New Deal, calling climate change a “global emergency.”

Best known for: He ran an unexpectedly formidable campaign for president in 2016 in which the term “Bernie Bros” became a thing, a nice bird landed on his podium during a Portland rally and he seriously threatened Hillary Clinton in the primary (except it wasn’t really that close).

Trivia: Sanders was elected mayor of Burlington, Vt., in 1981 by a margin of 10 votes.

Fake trivia: When he’s not running for president, Sanders is busy creating and starring in the HBO comedy television series Curb Your Enthusiasm under the pseudonym Larry David.

Side by side: The staunch Bernie supporters remain convinced he would have beaten Trump in 2016, had he won the primary. And the current head-to-head polls have him ahead of Trump by an average of 6 points. But this isn’t 2016, polls aren’t always reliable, and who knows if the country is ready to vote a democratic socialist into office. (WC)

Elizabeth Warren, 70

Résumé: As a former teacher and law professor, Warren won a seat on the U.S. Senate in 2012, becoming the first female senator from Massachusetts.

Polling: 17.1% Talking points: She shares many views with Bernie Sanders—ending corruption in Washington, D.C., and raising wages, for instance—but with one key distinction: She says she remains a capitalist. She pushes detailed policy platforms, including signing on to the Green New Deal resolution in February and embracing the climate change plan of Gov. Jay Inslee. She has her own thorough plan to cancel student loan debt by taxing the rich.

Best known for: Mocked as “Pocahontas” by Trump, Warren thought it would be a good idea to prove her Native American heritage by taking a DNA test last year. The test showed she had Native American heritage six to 10 generations ago, but the move has been widely panned as insensitive to Native tribes and people of color.

Trivia: Warren was a registered Repbulican until the mid-1990s.

What she’d be like on a date: Already knowing what she’d order before she gets to the restaurant, Warren would use that extra time not spent looking at the menu to explain why cheeseburgers are exactly what the fossil fuel industry wants you to talk about.

Side by side: The Trump world is reportedly anxious about Warren now that she’s bounced back from the DNA test debacle.

But many Democrats still see other candidates having an easier time taking down Trump than Warren.

(WC)

Andrew Yang, 44

Résumé: Yang graduated from Brown and Columbia and worked as an attorney before working in philanthropy and health-care startups, then running a grad school test prep company.

In 2009 he started Venture for America to train and help the next generation of entrepreneurs so they had a better chance at revitalizing American cities and creating jobs.

Polling: Yang trended sixth among top Democrats in eight polls conducted in August, averaging 2.6 points.

Talking points: He is also pushing for Medicare for All and believes in capitalism that puts human beings before money. Many of his solutions, such as those to address climate change, are centered in an economic approach that makes it more feasible for people to afford.

Best known for: His main policy is centered on creating a universal basic income called the Freedom Dividend, under which every American over 18 would get $1,000 a month. The policy is meant to counterbalance the loss of jobs as automation continues to grow.

Trivia: His campaign slogan, featured on hats as “MATH,” stands for “Make America Think Harder.”

Most likely to become a meme: The internet “Yang Gang” has slapped his likeness and ideas on all sorts of memes, from “Do you even lift people out of poverty, bro?” to a take on the Ancient Aliens Guy: “I’m not saying the robots took all of our jobs, but the robots took all of our jobs.”

Side by side: Yang and Trump are both businessmen, but while Trump’s ventures famously feature his name and aim for personal family gain, Yang’s work has tended to support the work of others and spreading the wealth. Yang appeals to many libertarians and conservatives who might have become disaffected with Trump. (SW) CW The next Democratic debate is Thursday, Sept. 12, starting at 6 pm local time and airing on ABC Channel 4 and Univision Channel 32. George Stephanopoulos, David Muir, Linsey Davis and Jorge Ramos will moderate. A version of this article first appeared in the Inlander, a weekly based in Spokane, Wash.

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Salt Lake Acting Co.: Death of a Driver The question of how to do the most good is strikingly relevant these days. Salt Lake Acting Co.’s Death of a Driver, by Will Snider, complicates narratives of “doing good” abroad.

The company’s season-opening production— which was developed in SLAC’s 2018 Playwrights’ Lab—tells the story of Sarah (Cassandra Stokes-Wylie), an American engineer who is working on a road in Kenya that will shape the country’s future. She quickly develops a friendship with her charismatic driver, Kennedy (Patrick J. Ssenjovu), but it’s only later that she begins to question that alliance, after he is thrown in prison in connection with a local election.

Anyone with an interest in works that challenge, entertain, and/or galvanize would be drawn to SLAC productions. “We’re a safe haven for anyone with an open mind and a love for exciting new theater they can’t see anywhere else in the state,” Cynthia Fleming, SLAC’s executive artistic director, says.

“It’s a gripping story about two people from two completely different worlds,” Fleming says about Death of a Driver. “The best way to describe the play is Hitchcockian in its twists and turns. You don’t know what, or who, to believe or what to expect.”

She adds, “It’s a beautifully-crafted play, which masterfully manages to span the course of a friendship over 20 years—all within 80 minutes!”

Fresh from an off-Broadway premiere, the show intends to challenge audiences with the question, “What is good, anyway?” (Casey Koldewyn) Death of a Driver @ Salt Lake Acting Co., 168 W. 500 North, 801-363-7522, through Oct. 20, Wednesday–Saturday, 7:30 p.m.; Sunday 1 & 6 p.m., $15-$46, saltlakeactingcompany.org

Complete listings online at cityweekly.net

FRIDAY 9/13

Gangrene Comedy Film Festival OK, here we go: “A-one, and a-two ...” OK, most readers likely won’t recall that famous countdown recited by bandleader Lawrence Welk in the introduction to his mega-popular weekly variety show that served as a television staple from 1955-82.

Fortunately, it doesn’t matter. While the Gangrene Comedy Film Festival—now in its 19th year—celebrates the spirit of the “wunnerful” Mr. Welk (comedian Bob Bedore’s interpretation is pictured) with music from a 16-piece big band, we’re not quite sure how he would perceive this weird, wacky collection of film shorts and live performers. The festivities have over the years included such oddities as masked lucha libre Mexican wrestlers, a motorcycle daredevil, a rock ’n’ roll band that pays homage to Bigfoot, as well as spacemen, little people kissing up to Kiss and lots of live chickens.

So what’s this have to do with Welk? Suffice it to say the silliness is systematic, and offered with due reverence—kind of—to an old-school showman. After all, this so-called variety show “gangster,” as the organizers refer to him, was all about entertainment—and that’s the intention here, even though it does tend to veer toward the weird and wacky. “The Gangrene Film Festival combines live music, stage antics and short comedy films in a laugh-a-minute event the entire family will enjoy,” Gangrene spokesperson Brad Farmer says. “It’s the perfect way to end the summer!”

That’s charm the Gangrene Comedy Film Festival offers while taking frivolity to an extreme.

And you needn’t lose a limb—a-one, or a-two—to enjoy it. (Lee Zimmerman) Gangrene Comedy Film Festival @ Ed Kenley Amphitheater, 403 N. Wasatch Drive, Layton, 801-546-8575, Sept. 13, 7 p.m., $15, $5 children 3-12, under 3 free, facebook.com/gangrenefilmfestival

KATHRYN FERRIELLO

CRAIG NYBO

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THURSDAY 9/12

ENTERTAINMENT PICKS, SEPT. 12-18, 2019

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FRIDAY 9/13

SATURDAY 9/14

From viral sensation to 2019 Emmy Award nominee for Outstanding Short Form Variety Series, Randy Rainbow truly has found the pot of gold at the end of his name. Instead of getting online, fans can experience his humorous bits in person this week.

Proficient in comedy, writing and singing, Rainbow is best known for his musical political spoofs on YouTube in The Randy Rainbow Show.

Between digital avenues and 350,000 subscribers on YouTube, his satire slants heavily to current news and politics, but also includes parodies of pop culture topics.

Launching his channel from an apartment in 2010 with little more than a camcorder and numerous tutorials under his trademark pink eye glasses, Rainbow broke out with the hit “Randy Rainbow is Dating Mel Gibson.” In 2016, his campy takes on the election and Donald Trump increased his fan base from New York City to Hollywood, earning mainstream attention from his idols.

With more than a million subscribers on Facebook, it takes less than a minute to discover just how much a difference Rainbow’s brand of humor is affecting the public’s viewpoint of the current state of America. Among his Facebook comments: “I get positively giddy whenever you post a new video,” Milla Windham Green says; “You have saved so many of us from utter despair. You are a national treasure!” another commenter, Jude Treleven, adds.

Through a live tour and his viral efforts, Rainbow hopes to expand even further with a weekly television show. But for now, get a ticket to see him live before he walks his first Emmys red carpet. (Colette A. Finney) Randy Rainbow @ Kingsbury Hall, 1395 Presidents Circle, 801-581-7100, Sept. 13, 8 p.m., tickets start at $35, children under 6 not permitted, tickets.utah.edu

In its fifth year, with an expected attendance of more than 40,000 visitors, Festa Italiana knows what attracts a crowd. Fifteen different participating restaurants, Italian cars and a full entertainment lineup are sure to entice guests to a two-day event that couples Italian and ItalianAmerican cultures.

Activities like dancing, sampling gelato and specialty wines are available. A variety of music plays during the day including Austin Giorgio of NBC’s The Voice. As always, their pasta and pizza-eating contests are held for those committed to eating as a sport.

Nick Fuoco, director of the festival, wants to usher in a new way to think about Italian traditions that have long settled into the fabric of Utah as a whole. “You get to try the flavors, the sound and bites of Italy, all over the course of a weekend,” Fuoco says. “This isn’t a spaghetti and meatball festival.”

Festa Italiana can’t be replicated without acknowledging the heritage that started the proud culture here in SLC—a community built on love and belonging, creating a festival it proudly invites you to visit. Proceeds are shared with the Catholic Community Services in support of the homeless and refugees.

It’s no secret the heart of Italian culture encourages us to elevate to a blissful, more passionate self—so why is it romantic to dig in a shiny dish of penne alla vodka? Fuoco says that plate of pasta is all about having a carefree, memorable time, spent together at the table— and of course, at the festival as well. (Miacel Spotted Elk) Festa Italiana @ The Gateway, 400 W. 100 South, Sept. 14-15, noon-7 p.m., free, festaitalianaslc.com

Randy Rainbow

Festa Italiana

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A&E

THEATER

Curtains Up

A look at what the 2019-20 season has in store on local theater stages.

BY SCOTT RENSHAW scottr@cityweekly.net @scottrenshaw

CAROL ROSEGG

W

ith Labor Day in the rearview mirror, it’s time to face facts: Summer is almost over. But along with a change in the weather comes a change in the arts offerings, as local performing arts companies beckon prospective audience members indoors for their new seasons.

Here’s a roundup of what some of Utah’s major theater organizations are serving up, from the latest brand-new locally-created plays to award-winning musicals from the Broadway stage.

Pioneer Theatre Co.: Salt Lake gets the honor of a pre-Broadway premiere when the new biographical musical Cagney (Sept. 20-Oct. 5) comes to town with co-songwriter/star Robert Creighton. The controversy over “fake news” gets a dramatic going-over in The Lifespan of a Fact (Nov. 1-16). The holiday season brings the hilarious meta-murder-mystery The Play That Goes Wrong (Dec. 6-21). Mary Stuart (Jan. 10-25) chronicles the conflict between two possible queens of England, followed by the beloved Lynn Ahrens/Stephen Flaherty musical Once On This Island (Feb. 21-March 6) and a portrait of the artist as badly-behaved man in Ass (March 27-April 11). The season wraps up with a musical about Elizabethan playwrights attempting to write the very first musical in Something Rotten! (May 8-23). pioneertheatre.org Broadway at the Eccles: Touring productions coming to the Eccles Theater kick off with the often-controversial Vietnamera adaptation of Madama Butterfly in Miss Saigon (Oct. 15-20). The classic tale of a little boy and his love for a Red Ryder BB gun lights up the holidays with A Christmas Story: The Musical (Dec. 3-8). Tev ye and his love for tradition is celebrated again in Fiddler on the Roof (Jan. 21-26). The 2017 Tony Award-winning Best Musical Dear Evan Hansen, from the songwriting team behind La La Land, arrives March 4-14. A spectacular stage version of Disney’s hit musical Frozen follows April 15-May 3, and another family-friendly stage version of an animated film with Anastasia (June 9-14). broadwayattheeccles.com Salt Lake Acting Co.: An American engineer and her Kenyan driver begin a friendship complicated by political turmoil in Death of a Driver (Sept. 11-Oct. 20; see p. 16). A 12-year-old girl’s coming of age mixes with dangerous and magical stories in Form of a Girl Unknown (Oct. 16-Nov. 17).

The company’s annual kid-friendly holiday production features a musical adaptation

of the beloved Pete the Cat book series (Dec. 6-30). Lucas Hnath dares to craft a comedic sequel to one of theater’s greatest plays in A Doll’s House, Part 2 (Feb. 5-March 8). Sarah Ruhl’s How to Transcend a Happy Marriage (April 8-May 10) dives into a New Year’s Eve dinner party that goes completely off the rails. And, of course, the season concludes with the traditional assault on local conservative sensibilities, Saturday’s Voyeur (June 17-Aug. 23). saltlakeactingcompany.org Plan-B Theatre Co.: Ho-hum, it’s just another full season of world-premiere productions by Utah writers for Plan-B. Camille Washington—from Ogden’s Good Company Theatre—crafts a psychological thriller about three characters in a mental hospital in Oda Might (Nov. 7-17). A truly unique musical comedy involving performers from Puppets in the City debuts with Jenny Kokai’s Singing to the Brine Shrimp (Feb. 13-23). Jennifer Nii explores the lives of three real-life Utah women from the Bassett family—including their infamous association with Butch Cassidy’s Wild Bunch—in The Audacity (March 26-April 5). planbtheatre.org Pygmalion Theatre Co.: The local company dedicated to women’s voices and women’s stories goes all-in on its mission with three plays by female playwrights. Utah’s own Julie Jensen is showcased in her story of the friendship between two pioneer-era Mormon women in Two-Headed (Nov. 8-23).

Sheila Cowley’s Flying (Feb. 14-29) tells the tale of a woman returning to “normalcy” after flying military planes during World War II. Body Awareness (May 1-16), by Annie Baker, digs into the lines between “art” and pornography. pygmalionproductions.org Hale Center Theater: Just in time for the new animated film version, the musical The Addams Family (Sept. 9-Nov. 16) graces the Hale Center Theater’s Sandy stage. The lesser-known musical version of a familiar

Robert Creighton in Cagney

dark romance appears in Yeston & Kopit’s Phantom (Sept. 23-Nov. 9). Holiday offerings include the fanciful lessons of Dr. Seuss in Seussical (Nov. 25-Jan. 18) and the traditional production of A Christmas Carol (Nov. 30-Dec. 26). The musical romantic drama Bright Star (Jan. 20-May 2) offers the original songs by Edie Brickell and Steve Martin, while the stage version of Strictly Ballroom (Feb. 5-April 11) presents a distinctly different musical sensibility. Spring also features the much loved theatrical story of a certain magical nanny in Mary Poppins (April 29-July 11).

An Other Theater Co.: The risk-taking Utah County-based company brings more challenging productions following the already-running season premiere The Moors.

John Patrick Shanley’s Pulitzer Prize and Tony Award-winning Doubt (Nov. 1-23) presents the complex story of a Catholic parish torn apart over suspicion. David Sedaris’ comedic memoir about working as a department store elf comes for Christmas in The Santaland Diaries (Dec. 6-21). Freshman roommates at BYU share a secret in Chelsea Hickman’s Safe (Jan. 24-Feb. 15). An improbable double-feature of one-act plays—Trifles and A Number—mixes an early 1900s murder mystery with a story of cloned offspring.

Concluding the season are works by celebrated playwrights David Lindsay-Abaire (Good People, May 15-June 6) and Larry Kramer (The Normal Heart, July 10-Aug. 1). anothertheatercompany.com Several smaller theater companies haven’t released complete season calendars, but keep your eyes out for Ogden’s Good Company Theatre (goodcotheatre.com), Wasatch Theatre Co. (wasatchtheatre.org), The Sting & Honey Co. (stingandhoney.org) and Sackerson Theatre Co. (sackerson.org). CW

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Abstract works by Anne Fudyma, filled with shifting lines and shapes capturing a bubbling up from the subconscious, are presented in Synchronistic Space in the Projects Gallery at the Utah Museum of Contemporary Art (20 S. West Temple, 801-328-4201, utahmoca.org), through Oct. 12.

PERFORMANCE

THEATER

The Utah Symphony: ¡Celebración Sinfónica!

Abravanel Hall, 123 W. South Temple, Sept. 16, 7:30 p.m., artsaltlake.org The Utah Symphony: The Planets Abravanel Hall 123 W. South Temple, Sept. 13-14, 7:30 p.m., artsaltlake.org

9th West Farmers Market Jordan Park, 1000 S. 900 West, Sundays through Oct. 13, 10 a.m.2 p.m., 9thwestfarmersmarket.org Big Cottonwood Canyon Market Brighton Resort, 8302 S. Brighton Loop Road, every Sunday, 10 a.m., bccflea.com Downtown Farmers Market Pioneer Park, 350 W. 300 South, Saturdays through Oct. 19, 8 a.m.-2 p.m., slcfarmersmarket.org Fleet Nights, Little City, 855 S. 400 West, every Saturday, 4 p.m., littlecityinc.com New Roots of Utah Neighborhood Farm Stand Valley Regional Park, 4013 S. 700 West, Saturdays through mid-October, 1-3 p.m., slco.org Park Silly Sunday Market Main Street, Park City, Sundays through Sept. 22, 10 a.m.-5 p.m., parksillysundaymarket.com Tuesday Farmers Market Pioneer Park, 350 W. 300 South, Tuesdays, through Sept. 14, 4 p.m.dusk, slcfarmersmarket.org Wheeler Sunday Market Wheeler Farm, 6351 S. 900 East, Murray, Sundays through Oct. 27, 9 a.m.-2 p.m., slco.org/wheeler-farm

SEPTEMBER 12, 2019 | 19

CLASSICAL & SYMPHONY

FARMERS MARKETS

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Repertory Dance Theatre: Brine-5 Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. 300 South, Sept. 19-21, 7:30 p.m., artsaltlake.org

SPECIAL EVENTS

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DANCE

John Deming Wiseguys Ogden, 269 25th Street, Sept. 13, 8 p.m., wiseguyscomedy.com Laughing Stock Improv Comedy The Off Broadway Theatre, 272 S. Main, through Oct. 12, Fridays & Saturdays, 10 p.m., theobt.org Open Mic Wiseguys SLC, 194 S. 400 West, Wednesdays, 7 p.m., wiseguyscomedy.com Ogden Laughs Improv Festival The Ziegfeld Theater, 3934 Washington Blvd., Ogden, Sept. 13-14, 7:30 p.m., theziegfeldtheater.com Orny Adams Wiseguys West Jordan, 3763 W. Center Park Drive, West Jordan, Sept. 13-14, 7 p.m. & 9:30 p.m., wiseguyscomedy.com Randy Rainbow Kingsbury Hall, 1395 E. Presidents Circle, Sept. 13, 8 p.m., tickets.utah.edu (see p. 16) Sean Patton Wiseguys SLC, 194 S. 400 W., Sept. 13-14, 7 & 9:30 p.m., wiseguyscomedy.com

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The Adams Family Hale Centre Theatre, 9900 S. Monroe St., Sandy, through Nov. 16, showtimes vary, hct.org Addams Family Reunion Desert Star Theatre, 4861 S. State, Murray, through Nov. 9, desertstar.biz Charley’s Aunt Hale Center Theater, 225 W. 400 North, Orem, through Sept. 14, 7:30 p.m., haletheater.org Death of a Driver Salt Lake Acting Co., 168 W. 500 North, through Oct. 20, dates and times vary, saltlakeactingcompany.org (see p. 16) Happy Days Eccles Theater, 131 S. Main, through Sept. 21, times vary, artsaltlake.org Matilda The Musical Egyptian Theatre, 328 Main, Park City, through Sept. 15, dates and times vary, parkcityshows.com A Midsummer Night’s Dream Utah Children’s Theatre, 3605 S. State, through Sept. 28, Saturdays, 10:30 a.m., uctheatre.org The Moors An Other Theater Co., 1200 Towne Centre Blvd., Provo, through Sept. 28, Friday & Saturday, 7:30 p.m., anothertheatercompany.com New World Shakespeare: Much Ado About Nothing Wasatch Theatre Co. Black Box, 124 S. 400 West, through Sept. 15, dates and times vary, newworldshakespeare.com Saturday’s Voyeur Salt Lake Acting Co., 168 W. 500 North, through Sept. 15, dates and times vary, saltlakeactingcompany.org A Wall Apart The Grand Theatre, 1575 S. State, through Sept. 7, times vary, grandtheatrecompany.com

COMEDY & IMPROV

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moreESSENTIALS FESTIVALS & FAIRS

33rd Annual Festival of India Sri Sri Radha Krishna Temple, 8628 S. Main, Spanish Fork, Sept. 14, 5 p.m., utahkrishnas.org 9th and 9th Street Festival 900 E. 900 South, Sept. 14, 10 a.m., 9thand9thstreetfestival.com Festa Italiana The Gateway, 400 W. 100 South, Sept. 14-15, noon, shopthegateway.com (see p. 16) Gangrene Film Festival Ed Kenley Amphitheater, 403 N. Wasatch Drive, Layton, Sept. 13, 7 p.m., gangrenefilmfestival.com (see p. 16) Living Traditions Garden Party International Peace Gardens, 1060 S. 900 West, Sept. 14, noon, livingtraditionsfestival.com Logan Pride Willow Park, 450 W. 700 South, Logan, Sept. 14, noon, loganpride.org Oktoberfest Snowbird Resort, Highway 210 Little Cottonwood Canyon, Snowbird, through Oct. 20, snowbird.com Timpanogos Storytelling Festival Utah State Fairpark, 155 N. 1000 West, through Sept. 15, times vary, utahstatefair.org

LGBTQ

1 to 5 Club: Radical Reading Group Utah Pride Center, 1380 S. Main, third Mondays, 7:30-9 p.m., utahpridecenter.org Beyond a Night of Music Encircle Salt Lake, 331 S. 600 East, Thursdays, 6:30-8 p.m., encircletogether.org Men’s Sack Lunch Group Utah Pride Center, 1380 S. Main, Wednesdays, noon-1:30 p.m., utahpridecenter.org TransAction Weekly Meeting Utah Pride Center, 1380 S. Main, Sundays, 2-3:30 p.m., utahpridecenter.org Utah LGBTQ+ Chamber of Commerce Breakfast Utah Pride Center, 1380 S. Main, third Thursdays, 7:30-9 a.m., utahgaychamber.com

LITERATURE AUTHOR APPEARANCES

Dan O’Brien and Natalie Young Main Library, 210 E. 400 South, Sept. 18, 7 p.m., utahhumanities.org Eli Knapp: The Delightful Horror of Family Birding Tracy Aviary, 589 E. 1300 South, Sept. 18, 7 p.m., kingsenglish.com Jennifer Adams: The Sleeping Beauty: My First Ballet Book The King’s English Bookshop, 1511 S. 1500 East, Sept. 14, 11 a.m., kingsenglish.com Kurt Repanshek: Re-Bisoning the West: Restoring an American Icon to the Landscape Natural History Museum of Utah, 301 Wakara Way, Sept. 15, 1 p.m., nhmu.utah.edu Lisa Michele Church: Historic Apartment Buildings of Salt Lake City The King’s English Bookshop, 1511 S. 1500 East, Sept. 14, 2 p.m., kingsenglish.com Randall Munroe Libby Gardner Hall, 1375 Presidents Circle, Sept. 14, 7 p.m., wellerbookworks.com Sarah Eden Orem City Library, 58 N. State, Orem, Sept. 17, 7 p.m., utahhumanities.org

TALKS & LECTURES

Shakespeare, Our Contemporary: Edgy Modern Relevance in Wolves of Sherwood The Castle Amphitheater, 1300 E. Center St., Provo, Sept. 13, 6:30 p.m., utahhumanities.org

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Ethics for a Connected World: Three Cases that Impact You University of Utah S.J. Quinney College of Law, 383 S. University St., Sept. 12, 6 p.m., law.utah.edu Marmalade Town Hall Series: Homelessness and Mental Health Marmalade Library, 280 W. 500 North, Sept. 12, 7 p.m., events.slcpl.org

VISUAL ART GALLERIES & MUSEUMS

45th Annual Statewide Competition Bountiful Davis Art Center, 90 N. Main, Bountiful, through Sept. 14, bdac.org Abstraction Is Just a Word, But I Use It UMOCA, 20 S. West Temple, through Jan. 4, utahmoca.org Amidst: Kathy Puzey, Amanda Lee and Holland Larsen Alice Gallery, 617 E. South Temple, Sept. 13 -Nov. 1, artsandmuseums.utah.gov Anne Fudyma: Synchronistic Space UMOCA, 20 S. West Temple, through Oct. 12, 11 a.m.6 p.m., utahmoca.org (see p. 20) [DIS]PLACED Downtown Artist Collective, 258 E. 100 South, through Sept. 15, downtownartistcollective.com Emily Robison: Collections A Gallery, 1321 S. 2100 East, through Oct. 4, 10 a.m.-6 p.m., agalleryonline.com Garden of Quilts Thanksgiving Point, 3003 N. Thanksgiving Way, Lehi, Sept. 12-14, thanksgivingpoint.org I, your glass Finch Lane Gallery, 1340 E. 100 South, through Sept. 20, saltlakearts.org League of Reluctant Bicyclists UMOCA, 20 S. West Temple, through Nov. 2, utahmoca.org Madison Donnelly: Bathhouse UMOCA, 20 S. West Temple, through Sept. 14, utahmoca.org The Medium is the Message Marmalade Branch, 280 W. 500 North, through Oct. 4, events.slcpl.org Power Couples Utah Museum of Fine Art, 410 Campus Center Drive, through Dec. 8, umfa.utah.edu Portraits of Courage: Shane Sato Main Library, 210 E. 400 South, through Sept. 20, utahhumanities.org Remembrances: WWI & WWII Art at the Main, Main Library, 210 E. 400 South, through Sept. 14, artatthemain.com Role Call: Fearless Females in Utah History Main Library, 210 E. 400 South, through Oct. 21, events.slcpl.org Ryan Lauderdale: Glazed Atrium UMOCA, 20 S. West Temple, through Nov. 2, utahmoca.org Spencer Finch: Great Salt Lake and Vicinity Utah Museum of Fine Arts, 410 S. Campus Center Drive, through Nov. 28, umfa.utah.edu Skate Deck Challenge Urban Arts Gallery, 116 S. Rio Grande St., through Sept. 29, urbanartsgallery.org Time + Materials Rio Gallery, 300 S. Rio Grande St., Aug. 30, artsandmuseums.utah.gov Ummah Utah Museum of Fine Arts, 410 Campus Center Drive, through Dec. 15, umma.utah.edu Untold Aftermath Finch Lane Gallery, 1340 E. 100 South, through Sept. 20, saltlakearts.org Yellowstone: Invisible Boundries Natural History Museum of Utah, 301 Wakara Way, through Sept. 15, nhmu.utah.edu Vaha’a Oe Ongo Fonua / Between Two Shores Art Access Gallery, 230 S. 500 West, Ste. 125, through Sept. 13, accessart.org

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SEPTEMBER 12, 2019 | 21

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BY ALEX SPRINGER comments@cityweekly.net @captainspringer

W

hen shopping malls began taking over the nation’s commercial areas in the 1980s, the inclusion of a food court offered shoppers a way to spend all day in their air-conditioned embrace.

Much like the invention of the all-youcan-eat buffet along the Las Vegas casino circuit, furnishing a spot where shoppers could get a quick bite to eat and then head back to the retail races was a great way to maximize profits. Although the inclusion of a food court was more a fiscal than a cultural decision, those malls had a big impact on how Americans view food on the go.

With all that shopping and entertainment within walking distance, the mall food court became the all-American version of tagine hawkers in Marrakesh or stir-fry vendors in Bangkok.

While traditional street-food culture followed its torchbearers from Mexico, Brazil, China and Singapore as they established their own communities in cities like New York, Chicago and Los Angeles, widespread mall culture left an open door for fast-food corporations to fill that street culture niche. It’s a legacy that we still see today as our major shopping centers come equipped with their own dedicated eateries. I’m not saying that our distinctly American take on street food is a bad thing—have you ever had a piping hot, foldable slice of Costco pizza?—but there is something lopsided about letting fast-food heavy hitters have the only seat at the table.

During a recent trip to City Creek Center (50 S. Main, shopcitycreekcenter.com),

DEREK CARLISLE

Exploring the local flavor that calls City Creek home.

sine lends itself well to the “fast casual” paradigm, and the sheer combination potential warrants repeat visits. The plate meal ($8.99, pictured) lets you choose two entrees from a tantalizing list of paneer, vegetable kofta or chicken tikka and then two traditional sauces like curry, makhani or tikka masala. It’s hard to suggest just one option when they’re all so good, but that makhani sauce could make a leather boot taste good.

Lastly, no trip to City Creek would be complete without ordering the City Creek roll ($9.35) from Tibet Bowl & Sushi. This roll is a great way to commemorate our gigantic shopping center, not to mention the fact that it gets doused with oil and immolated on a cast-iron skillet while you watch.

The presentation factor here is fantastic, but once you free this roll from its tinfoil casing, all that fresh sushi flavor gets jacked up by the subtle smokiness.

Since City Creek has opened, I’ve noticed a distinct uptick in the amount of local talent in our mall food courts. The Shops at South Town welcomed the team behind local food truck Special Courses to its food court, and Fashion Place’s remodel included space for places like Arancini Snack, which is also locally-owned. It’s a trend we’re starting to see on an even larger scale with projects like the Salt Lake International Airport expansion, which actively sought out local restaurateurs to set up shop in its upcoming dining areas.

Although I doubt Salt Lake City will be developing a Singapore-level street-food scene any time soon, it’s definitely been fascinating to see how our local restaurants have made mall shopping a more diverse culinary experience. Next time you’re doing some hardcore shopping, skip the familiar faces and see just how well curry can complement a new pair of shoes. CW

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22 | SEPTEMBER 12, 2019

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Mall in the Family

Salt Lake’s own little hub of rampant consumerism, I couldn’t help but notice that the fast-food all-stars’ hold on the food court was disrupted by a few plucky local joints. Yes, McDonald’s, Chick-fil-A and mall pizza powerhouse Sbarro maintain a strong presence, but City Creek has also welcomed local restaurants into its glittering ranks.

The most striking contrast about sidestepping the big guys for some local flavor is that places like Taste of Red Iguana (rediguana.com), Tibet Bowl & Sushi, Bocata (bocatasandwich.com) and Zimbu (zimbuslc.com) were inspired by the street-food culture of their respective cuisines—plus, they’re among the only ways to deviate from the food court’s trademark burger and pizza fare. Although it’s easy to be taken in by the familiar lull of the fastfood giants, it’s well worth trying out a few of these local gems while you’re maxing out the credit cards.

As a sister location to one of Salt Lake’s most popular Mexican restaurants, Taste of Red Iguana offers daily specials taken from its predecessor’s menu. The enchiladas suizas ($8.59) are always a safe bet.

Two chicken enchiladas topped with Red Iguana’s famous mole poblano packs all of the richness and depth that the Cardenas family’s traditional moles are known for.

You’d also be hard pressed to find a better home for your tortilla chips than their house-made salsa—the flavors of tomato, onion and cilantro are balanced with just the right amount of heat.

If you’re after a sandwich, the bocadillos at Bocata are perfect alternatives to the ubiquitous panini. The first thing I noticed as I looked over the menu was the brick oven that the Bocata staff uses to bake their bread. It goes in flat like pizza dough, and rises just enough to get sliced in half and stuffed with grilled chicken or roasted pork. The BLT with egg ($8.50) is a textured take on a classic that adds just a touch of sophistication with its arugula and organic egg. You get everything you’d hope for from a traditional BLT, but the luxurious egg yolk evokes a breakfast vibe that becomes far greater than the sum of its parts.

Zimbu’s menu of Indian and Nepali cui-

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Festa Italiana

If you’ve ever seriously considered how much pasta you can actually eat, the Festa Italiana is where you can figure it all out. Throughout its five-year run, Festa Italiana has become a local favorite for traditional Italian food—lots of it—and celebrating all things Italy. In addition to all the lovely things to eat and drink, Festa Italiana hosts live music and performances from international artists such as Vincenzo Bencini, Luca DePaolis and the Italian pop stars Etnosound. This year’s event takes place at the Gateway (18 N. Rio Grande St.) on Saturday, Sept.

14, from noon to 10 p.m. and on Sunday, Sept. 15, from noon to 7 p.m. Admission is free, and more details can be found at festaitalianaslc.com; see p. 16 for more info)

ninth & ninth

SLC VegFest

Those after a more plant-based food festival this weekend will want to check out SLC VegFest for some tasty eats and education. The purpose of SLC VegFest is to raise awareness for the benefits of a plant-based diet while showing us how delicious it all can be. With cooking exhibitions and food from local eateries like House of Tibet and Monkeywrench on hand to demonstrate the diversity and variety of plant-based food and a wide range of cruelty-free shopping, SLC VegFest promises to be a tasty and guilt-free way to spend a Saturday.

The event takes place at Library Square (210 E. 400 South) on Saturday, Sept. 14, from noon to 8 p.m. It’s free to attend, and more information can be found at slcveg.com.

Pasta-da!

Happy kids make happy moms and dads.

Tin Angel Closes

Although downtown belle Tin Angel snagged a spot inside the new Eccles Theater (131 S. Main), owners Kestrel and Jerry Liedtke decided to shutter the restaurant’s previous location on 400 South. I remember this location well because it was one of my earliest entry points into the more hip, locally-owned side of our restaurant scene, and it’s sad to see them close their little part of the community. On the flip side, I’m glad the Liedtkes continue to offer their culinary perspective for the theater crowd, and we hope that relationship continues to keep people from going to the nearby Cheesecake Factory. italianvillageslc.com

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while still remaining extremely drinkable.

Although Heber Valley Brewing debuted with low-point beers, they won’t be limited to that in the future. The brewpub currently operates as a tavern (sorry, no kiddos) and also has a package agency (bottle/can shop). Once the brewery has a few miles under it, high-point beers will be making their way into cans or bottles. Jones says the first of the high-point beers will be a Belgian-style Tripel that will be split two ways—as a traditional offering, and a barrel-aged version. Trust me, when those get closer to production, you’ll see them here.

As always, cheers! CW

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Award Winning Donuts

down the sides of the glass. The aroma is mostly grapefruit peel, with some floral spices. Once on the tongue, you’re met with tropical citrus and papaya notes that primarily emanate from the Citra, Mosaic and El Dorado hop bill. It’s very floral and juicy, with a mouthfeel that is soft with minimal bitterness. This beer is a well-done New England style pale ale.

HVBC IPA: For a session style IPA, this is really good. There is a lot more flavor here than some session beers usually have, and the flavor that is present is more pleasant than most. There are notes of grapefruit laced with crisp piney hops. It works well

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few weeks ago, in City Weekly’s Beer Issue, I had the pleasure to introduce you to Utah’s newest brewhouse: Strap Tank in Lehi. Amazingly, Strap Tank’s reign as the new kids on the block is already over, as the new newness in Utah brewing takes its place on the beer stage. Heber Valley Brewing Co. launched in August in a low profile brewhouse on the northern end of downtown Heber (500 N. Main, hebervalleybrewing.com). The quaint brewpub operates on a small scale, producing beers in 3.5 and 7 barrel batches.

Head brewer Clint Jones has a sharp palate, and has hit the floor running with some solid debut beers. Here’s a small sample of what you can expect.

Cöld Fusion Kölsch: This German-style beer pours a bronze color with a frothy white head. The aroma is a bit floral with

yeasty spices and fresh bread notes. You’ll find some flowery essence on the front end of the palate with some interesting spices in the middle—maybe cardamom or orange rind. Cracker and bread crust bring it all home, providing the simple toasted notes typical of the style.

W.O.W. Wit: This beer has a hazy, strawcolored appearance with two fingers of white foam dissipating into a quarter-finger of tight, creamy lacing—a really nicelooking beer. The front of the tongue has big cracker-y notes from the yeast, giving way to the coriander and orange peel in the middle. A slight citrus bitterness emerges on the back end, like a ripe grapefruit, with a semi-dry finish, making for a good example of the style.

Lone Pine Pale Ale: It pours hazy chestnut with two fingers of tan-tinged white foam. This beer has a pine nose that is strongly influenced by spruce tips. The bitterness is at a good, firm level, particularly in the flavor, where it adds some big pine with some citrus undertones. A light sweetness vaguely suggesting honey and caramel comes next to round out the bitterness. The finish is leafy and sappy, with definite evergreen notes lingering on the tongue. This has a nice, spicy palate for those who like a little something extra from their pale ales.

Hazy IPA: It pours a hazy golden yellow color with orange highlights; the single finger of foam leaves streaks of white lace

MIKE RIEDEL

BEER NERD

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Pulled Together

A little initial friction didn’t prevent the members of Gravity Castle from finding a creative collaboration.

MUSIC COURTESY GRAVITY CASTLE

ARTIST PROFILE

BY ERIN MOORE music@cityweekly.net @errrands_

U

tah County is known for many things as far as music goes. It’s flush with musical talent and folks with a particularly “Utah” kind of ambition—folks who often fall on the folk music side of things. However, artists like Provobased duo Gravity Castle prove that there are exceptions to that norm.

Although members Oliver Kersey and Gabriel Gledhill have backgrounds in indie rock, they’ve turned to making in-theweeds, complex music more aligned with EDM, despite the fact that that’s not really the sound du jour in their neck of the woods. But with dynamic pasts and varied creative approaches on their side, the two couldn’t resist diving into something new and fresh, exploring their respective potentials in the process. The results so far have come in the form of two 2019 EPs, both with clean production and an approachability that hints at something glimmering in their future.

Gravity Castle (facebook.com/gravitycastlemusic) came to exist after the dissolution of a former band—the more indie-rock-leaning group Salt Valley—and after Kersey and Gledhill realized that their respective careers in music had left them with all the gear and experience to do something more technical. Kersey, who’d been working on his music production skills for a few years at that point, felt like it was finally time to give producing an EDM project a real college try. “I had some good producer friends and I always wanted to go towards this electronic route and I wasn’t able to till I was able to produce on my own,” he explains. “It’s hard when it’s all up in your head, unless you know how to actually put pen to paper, so to speak.”

It wasn’t just this aspect of Kersey’s creative process that made the realization of an EDM project for the pair take a little while. Although Kersey and Gledhill had known each other for quite some time because of mutual friends—specifically, friends of Kersey’s then-fiancee—the two didn’t immediately take to one another.

Kersey admits to not really liking Gledhill when they first met, but it was when starting up the group that would become Salt Valley that another member recommended a good bassist to him—Gledhill—that things changed.

Now, they both lament the mild friction that kept their musical trajectories apart for so long. Gledhill says, “When we were finally brought together musically, we wondered why we had waited so long, and now always wonder hypothetically where we would be now if we started this journey together four years earlier!”

What they have so far is those two EPs, Beginnings and Introspection, the latter being one they worked on for the past six months.

They contain all the bold snap and smooth sensuousness that always prop up the best of EDM music, with “Stay” and “Roots” being the truly emotive standouts on Introspection, and Beginnings’s “I’m Sorry” being the kind of head-in-the-clouds electro pop that keeps them from feeling like a moody act.

Gabriel Gledhill, left, and Oliver Kersey of Gravity Castle Moving into the broad territory of EDM to craft these songs has been the result of a long, long time making and listening to music for both of them. While Gledhill describes Kersey as a kind of “independent acoustic guitarist,” Gledhill’s background is classical; he played violin in his high school orchestra, and according to Kersey at least, he’s got chops with guitar, cello and keys as well. Their influences vary, too, but move in similarly alternative realms. “I’m 29, so my love for music starts with Coldplay’s first album—that type of genre, those different kind of late ‘90s and early 2000s bands. That’s really where my first memories of recognizing songwriting and things like that [come from],” Kersey says.

Meanwhile, he lists Matt Kearny and Jon Bellion as influences for Gledhill.

“We had both studied music our whole lives and loved it. We’d put in the time to develop songwriting abilities, as well as invested time and money into the necessary gear and knowledge to produce with it,” Gledhill says of what made them decide to finally go for it—and when they did, their artistic working compatibility clicked. Finding a middle ground in mainstream acts like OneRepublic, Kersey says that the two don’t feel any restrictions on their music. This makes sense, as EDM—like so many genres—is really just such a wide canvas. “I don’t even know if EDM’s the right word,” Kersey says of the sound they’ve developed. “One of my producer buddies I still work with quite a bit calls us indie electronic. Some [songs] I’d say are very pop, some are kind of house electronic, some are kind of indie electronic. I just tell people, ‘You listen, and you make your decisions.’”

Next up for the band is getting out of Utah County—which, though it’s their home base and though it’s a supportive space for artists of all kinds, is also not a place they want to “paint themselves into a corner,” as Kersey puts it.

“We really want to branch out and hustle to get our music heard,” he explains. “We spent six solid months getting our music right, so let’s put the same effort into getting in front of people.” CW

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BY ISAAC BIEHL, NICK McGREGOR, PARKER S. MORTENSEN, NIC RENSHAW & LEE ZIMMERMAN

FRIDAY 9/13

Rachael Yamagata, Zach Djanikian

The word “mesmerizing” is frequently used to reference a sound that’s alluring or hypnotic in an otherwise suggestive sense. In Rachael Yamagata’s case however, her music gives meaning to what the term might have originally implied. Over the course of a career that spans 20 years, four albums, six EPs, innumerable collaborations and, frankly, more singles than we’re easily able to calculate, she’s developed a singularly seductive style that offers all the definition needed. Her creativity and approach capture a specific mood and mystique that graces her musical palette.

Her smokey voice delivers earnest yet sage lyricism befitting someone possessing her wide landscape of musical experience—one where she brings forth starry guitars, jazzybut-not-too-much-so piano, and production that goes from dynamic to minimal with ease.

Her work has found its way into multiple television and film scores and soundtracks, where the atmospheric ambiance provides a perfect complement to all that’s taking place on-screen. Those who have witnessed her hypnotic performances in person can attest to the fact that her music and corresponding stage presence are not something to miss. So how does Yamagata equate with a practical definition of mesmerizing? The whole package of her work and her persona manage to cast a hypnotic spell. (Lee Zimmerman) The State Room, 638 S. State, 9 p.m., $28, 21+, thestateroompresents.com

SATURDAY 9/14

Man Man, GRLwood, Palace of Buddies

In the mid- to late 2000s, experimental collective Man Man cultivated a zealous fanbase thanks to incendiary live shows and frenetic onstage energy. But behind the piano-pounding histrionics lay the heart-wrenching perspective of frontman Ryan “Honus Honus” Kattner, who somehow informs his tales of zombies, werewolves and spiders with

Man Man

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a throbbing, sobbing emotionality rooted in doo-wop, freak rock, ragtime and jazz. Across five full-length albums, Kattner has sung of self-mutilation, disastrous romance and the hellscape of late capitalism, viewed through the eyes of an unhinged young creative. But that sorrow and despair are refracted through a kaleidoscopic lens thanks to some of the wildest backing instrumentation on the planet: French horns and flutes, bass clarinets and euphoniums, keytars and clavinets. After a long hiatus that saw Kattner work with indie supergroup Mister Heavenly, record a children’s album and release his first solo record and accompanying film, Man Man returns in 2019 with a retooled lineup, a move from Philadelphia to Los Angeles and a two-song single for Sub Pop records. His much anticipated return is accompanied by Kentucky-based duo GRLwood, self-described as “Kentucky fried queerdos,” whose music stands right up to Man Man’s with its erratic sensibilities.

Longtime locals Palace of Buddies open for both, after a booked and busy summer opening for acts like Phantogram at Ogden Twilight and Death Cab for Cutie at the Kilby Court Anniversary Block Party. (Nick McGregor) The Urban Lounge, 241 S. 500 East, 8 p.m., $17 presale; $20 day of show, 21+, theurbanloungeslc.com

TUESDAY 9/17

Torche, Pinkish Black, Kælan Mikla, No Sun

In the early 2000s, the underground metal scene saw a flourishing of new talent across

Rachael Yamagata America, with scores of artists boldly blending genres and styles in search of fresh sounds to guide metal into the new millennium. Torche was one of those artists, mixing the crushing, downtuned riffage favored by contemporaries like Mastodon and Black Tusk with soaring, anthemic choruses that wouldn’t feel out of place on modern-rock radio. Although they’ve never dominated the airwaves the way some fans wish they did, songs like “Kicking” and “Across the Shields” are as irresistibly hooky (dare I say poppy?) as sludge-metal gets, the kind of propulsive rock music that has garnered the Miami quartet a strong following outside the metal community, including members of Mogwai and Dredg. The band has even expressed a discomfort with being labeled exclusively as a “metal” band, with frontman Steve Brooks describing Torche in an interview with Spin as “metal-influenced, but ... not a metal band,” and stating that their approach is simply to “get in a room and just write whatever.” Torche is fresh off the release of their fifth studio album Admission, and Salt Lakers are able to experience the band upclose and personal when they stop by for a set at Diabolical Records. Texas synth-band Pinkish Black opens along with dark wave artist Kælan Mikla from Iceland and locals No Sun. (Nic Renshaw) Diabolical Records, 238 S. Edison St., 7 p.m., $20, all ages, diabolicalrecords.com

Torche

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THE LAST DAYS OF SUMMER!

LIVE TUESDAY 9/17 To bi Lou, Lil Trxptendo

SPIRITS . FOOD . LOCAL BEER 9.11 CHRISTIAN MILLS

9.12 MORGAN SNOW

9.13 YOU TOPPLE OVER

9.14 MURPHY AND THE GIANT

If someone made a list of the most promising up-and-comers in music, Tobi Lou would be right at the top. The young Chicagoan is a vibrant rapper and singer who will undoubtedly win you over. After all, he is quickly becoming king of the bop—“Buff Baby,” “Darlin’” and “Just Keep Going’” among them. Having just released his first fulllength project, August’s Live On Ice, Tobi Lou is currently in full-on attack mode (despite his best efforts to cancel himself on Twitter).

It’s hard not to be overcome by the youthful exuberance pulsing through a Tobi Lou song.

He’s consistently infectious, fun, sometimes melancholic, but most of all, he’s straight-up magical. With lyrics like “I’m a buff baby but I dance like a man,” Tobi Lou has a youthful self-awareness that’s funny and incredibly approachable. You’d be hard-pressed to find someone out there quite like Tobi. Check out his music videos if you really want the full introduction and a lead-in about what to expect from his show. Start with “Troop,” and continue down the rabbit hole. Joining him is the D.C. Metro Area’s rising teenage rap star Lil Trxptendo, who spins out the same kind of sweet, DIY, mini-R&B sound that fans of Tyler the Creator have been intent on flooding the internet music world with for the past two years or so. His own brand of whimsical, danceable pop hypnotizes show-goers just as much as Tobi’s, making the two a perfect matchup. (Isaac Biehl) Kilby Court, 748 S. Kilby Court, 7 p.m., $16 presale, $18 day of show, all ages, kilbycourt.com

Yo La Tengo 9.16 OPEN BLUES & MORE JAM

Tobi Lou

Yo La Tengo

Yo La Tengo is one of those bands you will always remember discovering. For me, I was 19 and living in a turkey farming community during the summer. I only had one friend, since the rest of the college town had left while I finished a lowly internship. One day, we flew kites and listened to Yo La Tengo’s 2000 album And Then Nothing Turned Itself Inside-Out. I will always remember that evening. “Saturday” brings me back to the laconic porch-sitting I also did that summer.

“My Little Corner of the World” is the late night Gilmore Girls binges, and “Nothing to Hide” is the early morning runs. Yo La Tengo is the friend who never truly leaves your life, the friend you had one really good conversation with at a party who even knows how many years ago, and every time you meet again, the time that’s passed is acknowledged warmly. Thunder without lightning.

Their first album, Ride the Tiger, was released in 1986, and they’ve kept going since then.

There’s a Riot Going On was released in 2018, and it’s the band’s softest, most lullaby-like album in a while. I say in a while, because 19 albums span those 30-plus years, and there’s almost certainly something in that discography even a dutiful fan has overlooked. With a rotating lineup over the years, part of the joy of Yo La Tengo is that they’ve explored so much of their sound and expounded on their influences to a point that familiarity with them means drinking from a deep, almost bottomless well—though it’s always a welcome, comforting drink. (Parker S. Mortensen) The State Room, 638 S. State, 8 p.m., sold out at press time, 21+, thestateroompresents.com

9.18 SIMPLY B

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SEPTEMBER 17

TUESDAY NIGHT BLUEGRASS JAM WITH PIXIE AND THE PARTYGRASS BOYS 7PM

SEPTEMBER 18 ‘80s NIGHT OUT w/ NOTHIN BUT A GOOD TIME

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WENDY AND THE LOST BOYS

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FRIDAY 9/13

CONCERTS & CLUBS

JOHNNY GATES

Foreigner

THURSDAY 9/12 LIVE MUSIC

Apathy & Celph Titled + Ocelot + Dead Walkers (Urban Lounge) Breakfast in Silence + Worlds Greatest Dad + Msking + Hard Candy (The Undergound) Florida Georgia Line + Dan + Shay + Morgan Wallen + Canaan Smith (Usana Amphitheatre) Marina Marqueza (Rye) Matt Calder + Joshy Soul & the Cool (Lake Effect) Morgan Snow (Hog Wallow Pub) Musor + Horrible Penny + Wild Creature + Wish (Kilby Court) Nathan Spenser Revue (Garage on Beck) Reggae at the Royal feat. Pato Banton(The Royal) Salt Lake Sax Summit (Gallivan Center) Will Baxter Band (Gracie’s)

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE

Dueling Pianos (The Spur) Dusty Grooves All Vinyl DJ (Twist) Dueling Pianos: Drew & JD (Tavernacle) Hot Noise + Guest DJ (The Red Door)

Jazz Jam Session (Sugar House Coffee) Jazz Joint Thursday (Garage on Beck) Synthpop + Darkwave + Industrial + Goth w/ DJ Camille (Area 51) Therapy Thursdays feat. Malaa (Sky) Tropicana Thursdays feat. Rumba Libre (Liquid Joe’s)

KARAOKE

Cowboy Karaoke (The Cabin) Karaoke (Willie’s Lounge) Karaoke Night (Tinwell) Karaoke w/ DJ Benji (A Bar Named Sue) Karaoke That Doesn’t Suck w/ Mikey Danger (Chakra Lounge) Live Band Karaoke (Club 90)

FRIDAY 9/13 LIVE MUSIC

American Hitmen + The Penitent Man (Royal) Arsenic Addiction + Pinewalker + Black Flak and the Nightmare Fighters + The Great Silenced (Urban Lounge) Ashberry (The Yest Hell) Blue Divide (The Spur) Colt.46 (The Westerner) Dizzy De Solo (Harp & Hound) Fat Apollo and The Cellulites (Gracie’s)

RANDY'S RECORD SHOP

Loved by the masses but loathed by the critics, Foreigner was considered a supergroup of sorts when they initially emerged in the mid-’70s. Because some of its musicians had been in earlier outfits, they gained immediate credibility and an open invitation to secure a record contract. Guitarist Mick Jones had played in a later incarnation of the group Spooky Tooth, sax player Ian McDonald was a veteran of King Crimson, drummer Dennis Elliott was with the English prog band If and singer Lou Gramm was the former frontman for an Upstate New York outfit Black Sheep. Keyboardist Al Greenwood and bassist Ed Gagliardi found a good fit and allowed the Yanks to gain equal footing with their British compatriots. The Anglo-American combination helped enhance their image and bring credibility at a time when Top 40 radio was mostly given over to disco divas, and savvy rock bands seemed to be a dwindling commodity. Foreigner proved their prowess by dominating the airwaves through a succession of singles (“Feels Like the First Time,” “Cold As Ice,” “Hot Blooded,” “Double Vision,” “Head Games,” “Urgent,” “Waiting For a Girl Like You,” “Juke Box Hero,” “I Want To Know What Love Is” are but a few) that became Top 40 staples. Plenty of folks scorned them despite their commercial success, but more than 40 years later—despite personnel changes that left Jones as the original band’s sole survivor today—it’s evident that Foreigner’s legacy is here to stay.

(Lee Zimmerman) Days of ’47 Arena, Utah State Fairpark, 155 S. 1000 West, 7:30 p.m., $25–$45 (includes Fair admission), all ages, utahstatefair.com

Foreigner (Utah State Fairpark) see above Hearts Of Steele (Outlaw Saloon) Live Local Music (A Bar Named Sue) Live Music (Lake Effect) Live Music on the Plaza Deck (Snowbird) The Monarchs + Meldrum House + The Lnrs (Kilby Court) Rachael Yamagata + Zach Djanikia (The State Room) see p. 28 Sheer Mag + Tweens + Monz Hanz (Diabolical Records) Thunderfist (Garage on Beck) Will Baxter Band + Tony Oros Trio (Lake Effect) You Topple Over (Hog Wallow Pub)

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE

All-Request Gothic + Industrial + EBM + and Dark Wave w/ DJ Vision (Area 51) Dance Music (Chakra Lounge) DJ Sneeky Long (Twist) DJ Stario (Downstairs) Dueling Pianos (Tavernacle) Funkin’ Friday w/ DJ Rude Boy & Bad Boy Brian (Johnny’s on Second) Funky Friday w/ DJ Godina (Gracie’s) Hot Noise (The Red Door) New Wave ’80s w/ DJ Courtney (Area 51)

Top 40 All-Request w/ DJ Wees (Area 51)

KARAOKE

Karaoke (Cheers to You) Karaoke (Willie’s Lounge)

SATURDAY 9/14 LIVE MUSIC

Acoustic Spot & Waldo (Harp & Hound) Black Out Party feat. Chandler Smith + DJ Solo + DJ Mezz (The Complex) Blanco White (The State Room) Boys Ranch (Garage on Beck) Carrie Underwood + Maddie & Tae + Runaway June (Vivint Smart Home Arena) Colt.46 (The Westerner) Fatboy SSE (The Depot) Hearts Of Steele (Outlaw Saloon) Joy Spring Band (Sugar House Coffee) Kiss (Usana Amphitheatre) Live Band (Johnny’s on Second) Live Local Music (A Bar Named Sue) Live Trio (The Red Door) Lounge 40 (Lake Effect) Man Man + GRLwood + Palace of Buddies (Urban Lounge) see p. 28

NEW HIMALAYAN PUB FUSION SMALL PLATES MENU

$2 VINYL SALE SEPT 13TH & 14TH 2019

Most LP's valued @ $2 - $7, some $8 - $10 Over 1500 LP's added on both Fri & Sat AM Also CD's & DVD's @ $1.00, 45's & cassettes @ $0.25 “UTAH’S LONGEST RUNNING INDIE RECORD STORE” SINCE 1978

Great Vinyl at Bargain $2.00 prices TUE – FRI 11AM TO 7PM • SAT 10AM TO 6PM • CLOSED SUN & MON LIKE US ON OR VISIT WWW.RANDYSRECORDS.COM • 801.532.4413

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BEERHIVE PUB

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BAR FLY

Mariachi De Mi Tierra + Ballet Folklorico De Las Americas (Viridian Event Center) Meg & Dia (Kilby Court) M Horton Smith + Payout Beast (Pale Horse Sound) Murphy & The Giant (Hog Wallow Pub) Out Of System Transfer + Press Gang Union + Sunnybrook Sailors (The Beehive) Scarlet Rain (The Yes Hell) Spazmatics (Liquid Joe’s) Spock Block (The Spur) The Reverend and the Revelry (HandleBar)

(Eccles Theater) Giuda + Slick Velveteens + DJ Nix Beat + DJ Retrograde (Urban Lounge) Incubus + Dub Trio (The Complex) Live Bluegrass (Club 90) Patrick Ryan (The Spur) Paul Boruff (Garage on Beck)

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE

Karaoke (Tavernacle) Karaoke (Willie’s Lounge) Karaoke w/ DJ Benji (A Bar Named Sue)

Dance Music (Chakra Lounge) DJ Chaseone2 (Gracie’s) DJ Latu (The Green Pig) DJ Soul Pause (Twist) Gothic + Industrial + Dark ’80s w/ DJ Courtney (Area 51) Dueling Pianos (Tavernacle) Scandalous Saturdays w/ DJ Logik (Lumpy’s Highland) Sky Saturdays w/ Kirill Was Here (Sky) Top 40 + EDM + Alternative w/ DJ Twitch (Area 51) Victor Menegaux (Downstairs)

KARAOKE

Karaoke (Willie’s Lounge) Karaoke w/ B-Rad (Club 90)

SUNDAY 9/15 LIVE MUSIC

Boz Scaggs (Red Butte Garden Amphitheatre) Deep Purple + Joyous Wolf

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE Dueling Pianos (The Spur) Open Blues Jam (The Green Pig) Sunday Night Bluegrass Jam w/ Nick Greco & Blues on First (Gracie’s)

KARAOKE

MONDAY 9/16 LIVE MUSIC

Eagle Claw + Captured (Metro Music Hall) Idan Jene + Castle OG + Selfmythd (Kilby Court) Lynn Jones (The Spur) Psychedelic Porn Crumpets + Meatbodies + Breezeway (Urban Lounge) Tab Benoit +Eric Johanson (Commonwealth Room) Whiskydick (Heavy Metal Shop)

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE

Industry Night Mondays w/ DJ Juggy (Trails) Monday Night Blues & More Jam hosted by Robby’s Blues Explosion (Hog Wallow Pub) Monday Night Open Jazz Session w/

Beerhive, to me, is always the bar I’m wishing I was at more.

Located right downtown, with a pleasant patio in front of its tall, vintage façade and a beer selection that rivals Beer Bar’s both in quality and price, it’s truly a great, great bar. I’m thinking all this as I look around at the interior, waiting on a stool at the bar for a friend. The walls of the deep room are decorated with a nostalgic combination of vintage bar paraphernalia and classical boudoir-type art. I’m already sipping on an exquisitely strange and unique sour huckleberry ale by 2 Row Brewing. The bartender had recommended their sour IPA, and luckily he gave me this by mistake. When I ask what makes it so smoky, he insists that it’s just the huckleberries coming through. When my friend arrives, he gets 2 Row’s Dangereux, which to me smells a little like soy sauce, and he agrees that the finish is a little like a savory Thai meal.

As we drink our odd and tasty drinks, this much older friend tells me about the days long ago, before Beer Bar or Bar X even existed (when I was still a high school student in rural Utah), when Beerhive really was the place everyone was. The door was always swinging open and shut; the empty mini bar behind us “came in clutch” when all the tables were taken and you needed a place to lean. I hope I can get over here on a Friday night sometime to see if there are still some hints of those bustling days at this bar that comes in clutch in more ways than one. (Erin Moore) Beerhive Pub, 128 S. Main, 801-364-4268, facebook.com/beerhive-pub

David Halliday & the JVQ (Gracie’s) Open Blues Jam w/ West Temple Taildraggers (The Green Pig) Open Mic (The Cabin)

KARAOKE

Karaoke (Poplar Street Pub) Karaoke Bingo (Tavernacle) Karaoke w/ DJ Benji (A Bar Named Sue) Karaoke (Cheers to You)

TUESDAY 9/17 LIVE MUSIC

Andy Grammer (The Depot) Billy Strings (Commonwealth Room) Daniel Torriente(The Spur) Karl Ricky + Stolen Jars + Storm Harbor Point + Al Ingold (The Underground) Melvins Redd Kross, Toshi Kasai (Urban Lounge) Tobi Lou + Lil Trxptendo (Kilby Court) see p. 30 Torche + Pinkish Black + Kælan Mikla + No Sun (Diabolical Records) see p. 28 Witt Lowry + Xuitcasecity + Whatever We Are (The Complex) Yo La Tengo (The State Room) see p. 30

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE

Groove Tuesdays (Johnny’s on Second) Locals Lounge (The Cabin) Open Jazz Jam (Bourbon House) Open Mic (The Wall at BYU) Open Mic Night (The Royal) Tuesday Night Bluegrass Jam w/ Pixie & The Partygrass Boys (Gracie’s) Tuesday Night Jazz (Alibi) Wax Tailor (Metro Music Hall)

KARAOKE

Karaoke (Liquid Joe’s) Karaoke (Tavernacle) Karaoke w/ DJ Thom (A Bar Named Sue) Karaoke That Doesn’t Suck (Twist) Karaoke w/ Zim Zam Ent. (Club 90)

WEDNESDAY 9/18 LIVE MUSIC

DeVotchKa & The Joy Formidable (Metro Music Hall) Diana Krall (Eccles Theater) John Craigie + Daniel Young (The State Room) Live Jazz (Club 90) Nick Palmer (The Spur) Simply B (Hog Wallow Pub) Vein + Soft Kill + Higher Power + Modern Color (Kilby Court) Why? + Barried (Urban Lounge)

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE Dark NRG w/ DJ Nyx (Area 51) Dueling Pianos (Tavernacle) Energi Wednesdays feat. Infekt, Mvrda, Samplifire (Sky) Open Mic (Velour) Roaring Wednesdays: Swing Dance Lessons (Prohibition) Top 40 All-Request w/ DJ Wees (Area 51) VJ Birdman on the Big Screen (Twist)

KARAOKE

Areaoke w/ DJ Casper (Area 51) Karaoke w/ B-Rad (Club 90) Karaoke (The Wall at BYU) Karaoke w/ Spotlight Entertainment (Johnny’s on Second)

PRESENTS

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MOVIE PREMIERES • SPEAKER SERIES • POW CLIMATE CHANGE PANEL DISCUSSION

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NEW THIS WEEK

Film release schedules are subject to change. Reviews online at cityweekly.net BRITTANY RUNS A MARATHON BBB Body image collides with self-worth in a way that’s both funny and surprisingly emotional thanks to the script by Paul Downs Colaizzo and a terrific central performance by Jillian Bell. She plays Brittany Forgler, an under-employed, hard-partying New Yorker who gets a warning from her doctor to address her weight and overall health. So Brittany decides to start running—one reluctant block at first, then gradually becoming determined to run in the New York Marathon. Colaizzo assembles a winning cast of supporting charters—Michaela Watkins as Brittany’s running buddy; Utkarsh Ambudkar as an unmotivated petsitter—but most of what works here revolves around Bell’s work as a woman convinced she needs to be the “funny fat girl” to put others at ease, and look a different way in order to deserve love.

The thesis-point speeches are kept to a minimum, allowing the focus to remain on how self-loathing thwarts Brittany’s chances at happiness. Attempts to weave family history into Brittany’s psychology fall short, and the climactic run drags a bit. It’s all worth it, though, for a payoff that emphasizes Brittany’s triumph as coming to believe she’s worth cheering for. Opens Sept.

13 at theaters valleywide. (R)—Scott Renshaw THE GOLDFINCH [not yet reviewed] A young man (Ansel Algort) deals with the aftermath of surviving a bombing at an art museum as a child. Opens Sept. 13 at theaters valleywide. (R) HUSTLERS [not yet reviewed] A group of former strip club employees prepare to turn the tables on their high-roller clients. Opens Sept. 13 at theaters valleywide. (R) LINDA RONSTADT: THE SOUND OF MY VOICE BB.5 I’d love to go behind the scenes to understand how Jeffrey Friedman and Rob Epstein managed to get access to present-day interviews for a documentary about Linda Ronstadt, yet end up learning almost nothing about who she is as a person. The veteran filmmakers cover the breadth of the singer’s life, from her arrival in California as a teenager, her early success in the burgeoning 1960s folk scene, and the ensuing career that saw her finding success in pop, rock, Great American Songbook stan-

36 | SEPTEMBER 12, 2019

dards and even mariachi. To Friedman and Epstein’s credit, they devote a lot of time to full song performances, allowing for a real appreciation of Ronstadt’s powerful voice and her gifts as a song stylist. Yet she remains frustratingly enigmatic as a person; even when the now-72-year-old Ronstadt speaks in voice-over—and it’s pretty much only in voice-over, her present-day life retired from performing left basically unexplored—it’s generally for historical rather than psychological purposes. What made for a personality willing to venture from areas where she had become a star into such varied genres? Your guess is as good as mine.

Opens Sept. 13 at Broadway Centre Cinemas and Megaplex Jordan Commons. (PG-13)—SR OUT OF LIBERTY [not yet reviewed] In 1830s Missouri, a lawman tries to protect jailed men from citizens seeking vigilante justice. Opens Sept. 13 at Megaplex Theatres. (PG)

SUPER SIZE ME 2: HOLY CHICKEN! BB.5 Morgan Spurlock—after a two-year release delay in the wake of his admission of inappropriate behavior toward women— returns with a documentary about opening his own fast-food restaurant, one that would represent the antithesis of everything he found while making Super Size Me in 2003. Not surprisingly, Spurlock employs wry humor as he begins his business venture, discovering how attempting to sell fast food that’s actually healthy is a no-win proposition—which makes the goal delivering the perception of healthy food; things get less whimsical when Spurlock focuses on the predatory practices of the poultry industry itself. But Super Size Me 2 doesn’t come with the kind of instantly accessible hook that drove its predecessor, as the topics here are more wide-ranging. And yes, Spurlock’s confessed indiscretions complicate some of his attempts at humor here.

Would it be easier if Spurlock were strictly a behind-the-camera filmmaker, and his movies not so predicated on his own likeability? When it comes to selling a movie about pointing at bad behavior, you can’t entirely dismiss the reality that the face those three other fingers are pointing back at is one we all recognize.

Opens Sept. 13 at Megaplex Gateway. (PG-13)—SR

SPECIAL SCREENINGS COOKED: SURVIVAL BY ZIP CODE At Main Library, Sept. 17, 7 p.m. (NR) PAVAROTTI At Park City Film Series, Sept. 13-14, 8 p.m. & Sept. 15, 6 p.m. (PG)

SLC

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SHOWING: SEPTEMBER 13TH - 19TH IT - CHAPTER TWO

IT - CHAPTER TWO

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CURRENT RELEASES AFTER THE WEDDING BB.5 In Bart Freundlich’s gender-swapped English-language remake of Susanne Bier’s 2006 drama, Michelle Williams stars as Isabelle, manager of an orphanage in India whose trip to New York for a donation from media tycoon Theresa (Julianne Moore) winds up uncovering secrets involving Theresa’s husband (Billy Crudup) and their newlywed daughter Grace (Abby Quinn). A lot of the angst behind those secrets is more distracting than enriching, and it’s disappointing to see some sloppy handling of mental health issues. But Williams’ performance is beautifully tangled in knots of uncertainty; she does as much with a cluck of the tongue as Moore does with Capital-A Acting involving drunken rants and ugly-crying. Like Bier, Freundlich stumbles when trying to make the premise’s inherent melodrama feel deathly serious; it’s still worth watching Williams, who simply doesn’t know how to take an on-screen moment for granted. (PG-13)—SR DON’T LET GO BB David Oyelowo deserves mainstream success if he wants it, but while Don’t Let Go starts with a perfectly good premise, it soon turns into a formulaic police procedural with the most obvious, easily-guessed resolution. LAPD detective Jack Radcliff (Oyelowo) is surprised to get a phone call from his recently-murdered niece, Ashley (Storm Reid), calling from three days before she and her parents were killed. Uncle Jack eventually takes advantage of the time warp to try to prevent the murders, but not before spending a combined seven or eight minutes (or so it feels) staring agape at the caller ID. Writer-director Jacob Estes (Mean Creek, The Details) quickly loses interest in his sci-fi/fantasy conceit and defaults to disappointingly mundane dirty-cop, this-conspiracy-goes-allthe-way-to-the-top detective tropes that don’t do anyone any favors. Oyelowo is magnetic, though, even when stumbling around panicked and dumbfounded. (PG-13)—Eric D. Snider GOOD BOYS BBB A decade-plus on from the distasteful celebration of toxic male teenhood that was Superbad, here’s a supergood, unexpectedly sweet celebration of modern ascendant malehood. Three sixth-grade boys (Jacob Tremblay, Keith L. Williams and Brady Noon) spend a day ditching school to vie against older teen girls (Midori Francis and Molly Gordon) in a complicated plot involving drones, the mildest sort of party drugs and trying to reach a grade-school “kissing party.” Mostly it’s about worrying that, at the tender age of 11, one might become a “social piranha,” about securing consent to engage in any physical contact with another kid, and about ensuring that nothing one is doing constitutes bullying. These kids today, with their physical and psychological boundaries! “We’re not kids, we’re

tweens!” they declare, staking a claim on a developmental stage that we adults never even realized existed. (R)— MaryAnn Johanson

IT: CHAPTER 2 BB At 169 minutes, It Chapter Two is too long and too short. It’s repetitive; the scares are so similar to Chapter One’s that they devolve into blah territory. But Chapter Two also drops seemingly important characters and plot threads without explanation. Why is that charming hotel always empty? What happens to Pennywise the Clown’s (Bill Skarsgård) victims this go-around? If you’re going to explain the clown’s origins, screenwriter Gary Dauberman and director Andy Muschietti could have explained a few other things, too—or made a third movie. The casting is spot-on with the exception of Isaiah Mustafa as adult Mike, who’s so stiff it’s like he wandered in from a different movie. But Mike has the unfortunate task of being the movie’s explainer, so maybe the problem is Dauberman’s screenplay.

Sorry, losers; It Chapter Two just doesn’t work. (R)—David Riedel

LUCE BBBB Ten years ago, a wealthy white American couple (Naomi Watts and Tim Roth) adopted a former African child soldier; today, Luce (Kelvin Harrison Jr.) is a high-school star athlete and soon-to-be valedictorian. But is one of his teachers (Octavia Spencer) trying to scupper the life of opportunity he and his adoptive parents have worked hard to build—and if so, why? Family drama morphs into psychological suspense as we struggle to determine where the truth lies among secondhand accounts of disturbing adolescent wrongdoing and warring notions of racial and cultural identity, acceptance and assimilation.

Director Julius Onah, working from J.C. Lee’s play, surreptitiously elides the biases of his characters with our own. This challenging film is as much about viewer response as it is about where the story goes—a provocative litmus test that lets no one off the hook. (R)—MAJ

VITA & VIRGINIA BB.5 Director Chanya Button adapts Eileen Atkins’ play, based on the correspondence between writers Virginia Woolf (Elizabeth Debicki) and Vita Sackville-West (Gemma Arterton) chronicling their romantic affair in the 1920s. The narrative emphasizes the personality differences between the two women—bohemian, ethereal Woolf and privileged, earthy Sackville-West—in a way that gives Debicki’s haunted performance more room to flourish than Arterton’s portrayal of a flighty libertine. Yet while there’s some rich material in the risk Woolf takes in opening herself up, Button’s direction seems more concerned with visual flourishes—hallucinations by Woolf during her breakdowns; turning the women’s letters into monologues directly to the camera—and the modernist touch of an electronic score than with plumbing psychological depths. It might not be a rote chronology of biographical events, but that doesn’t make it engrossing. (NR)—SR

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Novelist Wallace Stegner wrote, “Some are born in their place, some find it, some realize after long searching that the place they left is the one they have been searching for.” I hope that in the last nine months, Virgo, you have resolved which of those three options is true for you. I also trust that you have been taking the necessary actions to claim and own that special place— to acknowledge it and treasure it as the power spot where you feel most at home in the world. If you have not yet fully finished what I’m describing here, do it now.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Earth’s species are going extinct at a rate unmatched since the dinosaurs died out 65 million years ago. Among the creatures on the verge of being lost forever are birds like the cryptic treehunter and spix’s macaw, as well as the northern white rhino and the vaquita, a type of porpoise. So why don’t we clone the last few individuals of those beleaguered species? Here are the answers. 1. Cloned animals typically aren’t healthy. 2. A species needs a sizable population to retain genetic diversity; a few individuals aren’t sufficient. 3. Humans have decimated the homes of the threatened species, making it hard for them to thrive. Conclusion: Cloning is an inadequate stopgap action.

Is there a better way to address the problem? Yes: by preserving the habitats of wild creatures. Inspired by this principle, Libra, I ask you to avoid trying halfway fixes for the dilemmas in your personal sphere. Summon full measures that can really work.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Audre Lord identified herself as a black writer, lesbian, librarian, mother, feminist, civil rights activist and many other descriptors. But as ardent as she was in working for the political causes she was passionate about, she didn’t want to be pigeonholed in a single identity. One of her central teachings was to celebrate all the different parts of herself. “Only by learning to live in harmony with your contradictions can you keep it all afloat,” she testified. These approaches should be especially fun and extra meaningful for you in the coming weeks, Pisces. I encourage you to throw a big Unity Party for all the different people you are.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Hi, I’m your sales representative for UnTherapy, a free program designed to provide healing strategies for people who are trying too hard. Forgive me for being blunt, but I think you could benefit from our services. I don’t have space here to reveal all the secrets of UnTherapy, but here’s an essential hint: Every now and then the smartest way to outwit a problem is to stop worrying, let it alone and allow it to solve itself.

1. Coveted position 8. Handful for a pediatrician 11. And the like: Abbr.

14. Where Puccini's "Madama Butterfly" premiered 15. "Moby-Dick" setting 16. Electrical unit now known as a siemens 17. Release a nasty person from your clutches?

19. "The Family Circus" cartoonist Keane 20. Mysterious sighting in the Himalayas 21. Faux ____ 22. Approximately 23. 72, maybe, on a golf course 24. Where stand-ups go to hear their jokes echo?

28. Test for college srs.

29. Scrape (by) 30. Words before a snap 31. Bldg. annex 33. Sounds when settling into a hot bath 36. Something holding up the works?

37. "Who's interested?" ... or a hint to this puzzle's theme 40. Dog star?

43. Part of a crib 44. Hat worn in "Casablanca" 48. ____ Reed Hall who played Olivia on "Sesame Street" 50. Faucet 52. Suffer 53. Place you'll find a Cologne criminal or Leipzig lawbreaker?

56. First show to win 50 Emmys, in brief 57. SpongeBob's pet snail 58. Fellow, in British slang 59. "Match Game" host Baldwin 61. TV newswoman Cabrera or Navarro 62. Comment about a guy who's hesitant to buy a Japanese electronics giant's products?

66. Comprehended 67. ____-ray Disc 68. More manly-chested 69. "We'll teach you to drink deep ____ you depart": Hamlet 70. "That's rough!"

71. Doesn't miss

DOWN

49. San ___, Texas 51. Request Sam hears from Ilsa and then Rick in a classic 1942 film 54. ____ Islam, formerly Cat Stevens 55. Walgreens rival 60. The stuff of legends 62. Sister channel of Cinemax 63. Cry upon getting a tough crossword clue 64. Rebellion leader Turner 65. What mos. and mos. add up to

Last week’s answers

| COMMUNITY |

1. Like birds and bees: Abbr.

2. Holder of a referee's whistle 3. Brought (in) 4. Future internist's exam 5. Muppet who plays lead guitar in The Electric

Mayhem 6. Hackneyed 7. Sound of a sock 8. Oscar of "The Last Jedi" 9. All-around good guy 10. Fork over 11. Early life forms?

12. 1989 Paul McCartney song 13. Mustard, e.g.

18. Prefix with center 22. Focused, at work 23. Org. whose members are teed off?

25. "Yeah, why not!"

26. Charcuterie, e.g.

27. Violin virtuoso Leopold 32. ''Sister Act'' actress Kathy 34. "I'm sorry, Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that" speaker 35. Perform lutzes and axels 38. Dobrev of "The Vampire Diaries" 39. And others: Abbr.

40. Terminal cases?

41. Kristen Bell's role on "The Good Place" 42. Talk through a film, say 45. Gets one's feet wet 46. Stole, in slang 47. Not 100%

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

SEPTEMBER 12, 2019 | 37

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): People in Northeast India weave long, strong suspension bridges out of the living roots of fig trees. The structures can measure up to 150 feet and bear the weight of hundreds of people. In accordance with astrological omens, let’s make these marvels your metaphors of power for the coming weeks. To stimulate your meditations, ask yourself the following questions. 1. How can you harness nature to help you to get where you need to go?

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Although patched together and incomplete, the 2,200-year- 2. How might you transform instinctual energy so that it better old marble sculpture known as the Winged Victory of serves your practical needs? 3. How could you channel wildness Samothrace is prominently displayed at Paris’ Louvre Museum. so that it becomes eminently useful to you?

It’s a glorious depiction of Nike, the winged goddess of victory, and is regarded as one of ancient Greece’s great masterpieces. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): For hundreds of years it was missing. Then in 1863, an archae- If you climb to the top of Mt. Everest, you’re standing on land ologist discovered it, although it was broken into more than that was once on the floor of a shallow tropical sea. Foura hundred pieces. Eventually, it was rebuilt, and much of its hundred-million-year-old fossils of marine life still abide there beauty was resurrected. I see the coming weeks as a time when in the rock. Over the course of eons, through the magic of plate you, too, could recover the fragments of an old treasure and tectonics, that low flat land got folded and pushed upward more than five miles. I suspect you Geminis will have the power to begin reassembling it to make a pretty good restoration. accomplish a less spectacular but still amazing transformation during the next 10 months. To get started, identify what you SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): “I’ve learned that I must find positive outlets for anger or it will would like that transformation to be. destroy me,” said actor Sidney Poitier. That can be a dynamic meditation for you during the next three weeks. I think you will CANCER (June 21-July 22): derive substantial power from putting it into action. If you’re In 1996, when Gary Kasparov was rated the world’s best chess ingenious and diligent about finding those positive outlets, your player, he engaged in a series of matches with a chess-playing computer named Deep Blue. Early on in the first game, Deep anger will generate constructive and transformative results.

Blue tried a move that confused Kasparov. Rattled, he began to wonder if the machine was smarter than him. Ultimately, his CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): In 1905, at the age of 30, Lucy Maud Montgomery wrote the play suffered and he lost the game. Later it was revealed that novel Anne of Green Gables. It was a tale about an orphan girl Deep Blue’s puzzling move was the result of a bug in its code. growing up on Prince Edward Island. She sent the manuscript I’ll encourage you to cultivate a benevolent bug in your own code to several publishers, all of whom rejected it. Discouraged, she during the coming weeks, Cancerian. I bet it will be the key to you put it away in a hatbox and stored it in a closet. But two years scoring a tricky victory. later, her ambitions reignited when she re-read the story. Again she mailed it to prospective publishers, and this time one liked it LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): enough to turn it into a book. It soon became a bestseller. Since American hero Harriet Tubman escaped slavery as a young then it has sold over 50 million copies and been translated into woman. She ran away from the wealthy “master” who claimed 36 languages. I figure you Capricorns are at a point in your own to “own” her, and reached sanctuary. But rather than simply unfolding that’s equivalent to where Anne was shortly before enjoy her freedom, she dedicated herself to liberating other she rediscovered the manuscript she’d put away in the hatbox. slaves. Nineteen times she returned to enemy territory and risked her life, ultimately leading 300 people out of hellish captivity. Later she served as a scout, spy and nurse in the Union AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): The Toxorhynchites are species of large mosquitoes that don’t Army during the Civil War, where her actions saved another buzz around our heads while we’re trying to sleep and will never 700 people. In 1874, the U.S. Congress considered but then bite our skin or suck our blood. In fact, they’re our benefactors. ultimately rejected a bill to pay her $2,000 for her numerous Their larvae feast on the larvae of the mosquitoes that are both- courageous acts. Don’t you dare be like Congress in the coming ersome to us. In accordance with astrological omens, I propose that you be alert for a metaphorically comparable influence in weeks, Leo. It’s crucial that you give tangible acknowledgment your own life: a helper or ally that might be in disguise or might and practical rewards to those who have helped, guided and supported you. just superficially seem to be like an adversary.

ACROSS

No math is involved. The grid has numbers, but nothing has to add up to anything else. Solve the puzzle with reasoning and logic. Solving time is typically 10 to 30 minutes, depending on your skill and experience.

Go to realastrology.com for Rob Brezsny’s expanded weekly audio horoscopes and daily text-message horoscopes.

Audio horoscopes also available by phone at 877-873-4888 or 900-950-7700.

ANY TAKERS

BY DAVID LEVINSON WILK

Complete the grid so that each row, column, diagonal and 3x3 square contain all of the numbers 1 to 9.

B R E Z S N Y

© 2019

SUDOKU

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY B Y R O B

CROSSWORD PUZZLE

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38 | SEPTEMBER 12, 2019

URBAN L I V I N

STATE OF SOUTH CAROLINA IN THE FAMILY COURT OF THE THIRTEENTH JUDICIAL CIRCUIT COUNTY OF GREENVILLE DOCKET NO.: 2019-DR-23-2593 WITH BABS DELAY for UNCENCENSORED fun!

Broker, Urban Utah Homes & Estates, urbanutah.com T __ L _ B__, Plaintiff, Browse and Reply for FREE vs.Gabriel Michael Bottoms, Birth Father Defendant 801-512-2061 AMENDED SUMMONS www.megamates.com 18+ IN THE INTEREST OF N_ H_ B__ and B__ R__ B__, minor children Sr. Software Engineer (SSE-AA) Work There are walls, and then there are walls.

MediaBids_190103_24.indd 1 12/28/2018 5:15:20 PM under the ages of eighteen years The wall we hear the most about these with software users, engr & other tech days is the one at the U.S. southern border.

TO THE DEFENDANT(S) ABOVEThe wall I remember learning about as a staff to enhance & dvlp core Canvas NAMED: was the Great Wall of China, which is prod to meet specified reqs. Requires child You are hereby summoned and required to about 5,500 miles long, is an international UNESCO protected historical site and can Bachelor’s. Mail resume to Instrucanswer the Complaint in this action, a copy be seen from space. I grew up hearing ture, Inc., Attn: Kristina Mecham, of which is served upon you, and serve a about the Berlin Wall that separated East 6330 South 3000 East, Ste 700, Salt copy of your Answer to the Complaint upon and West Berlin during the Cold War and then watched in 1991 when people from the subscriber at 1212 Haywood Road, Bldg.

Lake City, UT 84121. Must reference both sides of the wall tore it down. There’s 300, Ste. D, Greenville, South Carolina, job title and job code. the Korean Wall blocking North and South 29615, within thirty (30) days after service Korea from traveling to either side, walls to stop people in India, Israel’s West Bank hereof, exclusive of the day of such service. and myriad of defensive walls in Africa, the If you fail to answer the Complaint within Americas, Asia, Europe and Vatican City.

Art walls, like the Bondi Sea Wall in Austhat time, the Plaintiff will apply to the Court tralia, are all over the world adorned with for the relief demanded in the Complaint. graphics by taggers, street artists and proTO THE DEFENDANT(S) UNDER THE fessionals.

What’s the most famous wall in Utah? It’s AGE OF FOURTEEN, AND THEIR likely the one surrounding Temple Square GENERAL OR TESTAMENTARY in downtown Salt Lake City. I’ve always GUARDIAN, IF ANY: You are further been impressed that the wall around the block has not been regularly tagged besummoned and notified to apply for the cause it’s one large canvas for artists and appointment of a Guardian ad litem to those with evil intent. Plus, the church has represent you in this action within thirty (30) always kept the property there in super clean shape and decorate it nicely for the days after service of this Summons and holidays. I’ve also hated the wall because Notice upon you. If you fail to do so, the it makes the place look foreboding and off Plaintiffs herein will apply to this Court for limits and keeps the views of the gothic architecture of the temple hidden from tourthe appointment of some suitable and proper ists and passersby. person to represent you in this action.

Well the wall is about to change (finally) Raymond W. Godwin, Esq. (SC Bar #2162) because The Church of Jesus Christ of LatSaints has announced a massive PO Box 354 Utilities & Cable Included ter-day upgrade to Temple Square. This multi-year Greenville, SC 29602 project will include the renovation of porFurnished (864) 241-2883 • (864) 255-4342 (fax) tions of the wall that will be opened and modified to allow more inviting views and ATTORNEY FOR PLAINTIFFS 801-867-1850 for info. better access to temple grounds. The existDated: June 25, 2019 ing Visitors Center will be demolished and

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WEIRD

Inexplicable Jacob Pina, 20, of Westport, Mass., can’t explain his physical oddity, but that’s not stopping him from firmly grasping his 15 minutes of fame. Pina, recently dubbed “Thumb Boy,” unveiled his unusually long (5 inches) right thumb on the TikTok app on Aug. 24, reported Metro News. “There’s no reason it’s so big just an anomaly,” Pina posted. “I feel great about it. It’s always great to be different and embrace your own essence.” Pina has gained 145,000 followers on the app—and he’s never lost a thumb war.

n A Pennsylvania state appellate court has ruled against Stephen Kirchner, who was convicted in a lower court for disorderly conduct in 2018 for pointing his finger like a gun at a neighbor. In June of that year, KDKA reported, Kirchner was walking past a neighbor’s home in Manor, Pa., when the neighbor made an obscene gesture with his hand.

Kirchner responded by making a shooting gun gesture with his own hand. A witness called 911, and the unnamed neighbor told police he felt “extremely threatened.” Kirchner argued that his gesture was not a hazard, but the appeals court disagreed.

Desperate Housewife The Botox RN MD Spa in Sugar Land, Texas, was the scene of a breaking-and-entering caught on camera on Aug. 23, but police are still looking for the slim, youthful-looking culprit.

Surveillance video shows a woman testing the locked doors of the spa that evening, the Associated Press reported, then returning in a Mercedes SUV with a battery-powered grinding saw. After cutting through the clinic’s front door, she took an undisclosed amount of anti-aging products and drove away.

Weird Fetish Sebring, Fla., resident Gary Van Ryswyk, 74, has been charged with practicing medicine without a license following a bizarre incident at his home. According to the arrest report, Highlands County Sheriff’s deputies responding to a 911 hang-up call on Aug. 18 were told by Van Ryswyk he had just removed the testicles of a man he’d met on a “website for those who have a fetish for castration.” Officers found a 53-year-old man from the Tampa area lying on a bed, holding a towel to his groin, with said body parts in a jar nearby, BuzzFeed reported. The victim was flown to Tampa for medical treatment. Police also found a surgery room set up in the house with medical equipment and a camera to record the procedures. Investigators said Van Ryswyk told them he had bought painkillers from England and admitted to performing the surgery on at least one other man and on bulls and other animals while living on a farm growing up. He also said he removed one of his own testicles in 2012. But his most recent procedure went wrong when the “patient” bled profusely, making it difficult for Van Ryswyk to suture the wounds. For now, he’s facing second-degree felony charges and a $250,000 bond.

Weird Science A day of fishing on Lake Champlain became more memorable than most when Debbie Geddes of Plattsburgh, N.Y., reeled in a trout worthy of a social media storm: It had two mouths. Geddes and her husband were fishing in mid-August when the unusual catch took the bait, WPTZ reported. Geddes’ co-worker Adam Facteau posted pictures to Facebook and said he’s heard many theories about what caused the fish’s deformity—including that it’s an offspring of the lake’s famed monster, Champy. Geddes threw the trout back after snapping some photos.

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Anger Management In Hudson, Fla., Pasco County deputies arrested 46-year-old Keith Mounts on a felony aggravated assault charge after he allegedly threatened an unnamed man with a machete. A sheriff’s office spokesperson said the two men were at the victim’s home on Aug. 24 when Mounts used the bathroom and “didn’t flush, and when the victim called him on it, the suspect threatened” to “chop” him, according to Newsweek. The arrest report said officers found the machete in the yard, and Mounts told them he was using it to defend himself, but he couldn’t say from what. He did provide a written statement saying simply, “S**t happened.” Touché!

Bright Idea If you’ve experienced one (or more) flat tires in Sherburne County, Minn., over the last few weeks, News of the Weird is now able to tell you why. Jeffrey Scot Caouette, 63, of Elk River admitted to authorities in late August that he had purchased 55 pounds of sheetrock screws (that’s more than 12,000 screws) and scattered them on local roads to “slow down” a person he believed was in a relationship with his ex-girlfriend. Specifically, KSTP reported, he put the screws on the road where he believed the man lived and on the roads between that house and the exgirlfriend’s house, among others. The arrest complaint notes that Big Lake police have received more than 100 reports of damage from the screws, including to three of their own vehicles.

Caouette was charged with first-degree property damage.

Great Art! In downtown Kitchener, Ontario, Canada, someone left a plate of macaroni and cheese, complete with fork, sitting atop a steel road barrier on Aug. 27, which caught the interest of a Reddit poster. No one knew where it came from or if someone would be back to retrieve it, but a day later an anonymous citizen made it into an art installation, reported CTV News, by adding a museum-like tag beside it. “Abandoned Snack (2019)—Macaroni and sundried tomato on ceramic—Unknown Artist,” reads the placard. Christie’s, are you listening?

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SEPTEMBER 12, 2019 | 39

Crime Report Nicholas Redmond, 32, of Philadelphia, had a productive August as an employee of Macy’s at the King of Prussia Mall in Pennsylvania. Not because he sold a lot of merchandise, but because, according to police, he told them he stole about $12,000 in cash from the retailer. His run came to a halt on Aug. 25 when a security system alerted police to an intruder in the store. Around 4:30 a.m., authorities found Redmond hiding in the first-floor ceiling, clutching $7,000. Upper Merion Township police Lt. Brendan Brazunas told WPVI his officers “were very shocked ... they just couldn’t believe somebody had gone up to that length to hide from them.” Redmond was arraigned and held in jail, failing to post a $10,000 cash bond.

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Ewwwww!

Firefighters near Estacada, Ore., rescued a woman on Aug. 20 who had been trapped in a septic tank on her rural property, possibly for two or three days. The unidentified woman, who lives alone, couldn’t alert neighbors of her predicament because they live out of shouting range. Her daughter found her after becoming concerned when she was unable to reach her mother for four days. Firefighters told KATU that work appeared to be being done on the tank—a hole had been dug exposing the tank, which had a rusted 2-by-2-foot hole in its lid. The woman had apparently fallen through the hole and was lying in sewage, with her face just above the surface, when rescuers got to her. They did not see any visible injuries on her, but she was transported to a hospital in Portland.

Babs De Lay

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Cuteness Overload About a dozen service dogs in Ontario, Canada, took in a performance of “Billy Elliot: The Musical” in August as part of their training through the K-9 Country Inn Working Service Dogs organization. When the actors took their curtain call, nary a whimper or a quiet woof could be heard—music to the ears of head trainer Laura MacKenzie. During such a performance, dogs are trained to sit under the seat or at their handler’s feet, but MacKenzie told CNN that a few of the dogs peeked over the seats to see the action on stage. Dogs are also exposed to subways, zoos and crowded fairs during their training.

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