City Weekly January 26, 2017

C I T Y W E E K LY. N E T J A N U A RY 2 6 , 2 0 1 7 | V O L . 3 3 N 0 . 3 8

TRUMPoCaLYPSE now!

Is there any hope for Planned Parenthood and climate change under the new regime?

PLUS we take you inside the inauguration and the DC + SLC Women's Marches.

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CWCONTENTS COVER STORY TRUMPOCALYPSE NOW!

Trump’s policies are alarming, but is it time to dust off the ol’ bunker just yet?

Cover photo illustration by Derek Carlisle

14

CONTRIBUTOR

4 LETTERS 6 OPINION 8 NEWS 18 A&E 24 DINE 29 CINEMA 32 TRUE TV 33 MUSIC 44 COMMUNITY

BAYNARD WOODS

Cover story, p. 16 ”First thing on inauguration morning, I stopped by the #Trump420 protest, where thousands of people were lined up to get free joints, but I didn’t get one,” Woods says. “Within three hours I had been gassed and pepper sprayed. ... Weed would have been a good psychological salve for the new police state.”

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SOAP BOX

COMMENTS@CITYWEEKLY.NET @SLCWEEKLY

@CITYWEEKLY

@SLCWEEKLY

Cover story, Jan. 12, “Legislature Madness”

When is Utah gonna change its draconian laws about marijuana like ALL of the freakin’ western U.S. has?

@ABA_ZABA Via Instagram

Pretty rad Reefer Madness parody by City Weekly. Also, impressive extended Grinch metaphor on #utleg by @RyCunn.

@JULIARITCHEY

as rayon, nylon and carbon fiber used to make mountain bikes.

I find it confusing to use coal products to produce ink and generate electricity to power the presses used to market printed essays for profit, then adversely represent coal as a villainous compound. It is comparative to printing news articles pronouncing the deforestation crisis on paper.

Please make an effort to stop printing articles and help save our Utah environment.

STEVE RICHARDS, Salt Lake City

Via Twitter

News, Jan. 12, “Pronounced Echo”

On Point!

Thanks for your story, Steve. Case managers are so much a key to success … more, more, more! And back to HRSA, too, with yet another grant application.

@MEETMARKGOLD Via Instagram Killa cova!!

CAROL COOK

@RICKS_SLICPICS

Via cityweekly.net

Via Instagram In “Legislate Me—Air Quality” by Dylan Woolf Harris & Annie Knox, and “Tiny Homes” by Babs De Lay, what’s not mentioned is the No. 1 cause of these and most issues: overpopulation. Until we address it, educate and manage our numbers, the quality of life won’t improve.

ALEX KING,

The Ocho, Jan. 12, “Eight adult films that triggered Utah Sen. Todd Weiler to sue for damages” LOL! Only in Zion.

GREG HACKNEY Via Facebook

Salt Lake City

Porn kills love.

I think that we all respect the need for conservation in our modern world. Living as cleanly as possible is something that all of can strive to do better. As such, maybe we can be good environmental stewards by reducing the amount of printed news articles. After all, ink is distilled with coal, gilsonite, magnesium and petroleum products—all of which are mined or extracted in Utah. These blends are then alchemized with mineral oxides such as copper, iron, aluminum, titanium, iron and solvents to make black and colored inks. Thousands of products are made with coal or coal byproducts, including aspirins, antiseptics, soap, dyes, solvents, plastics, fibers such

Via Facebook

SCOTT GLOVER Asshole husbands who blame it on a porn addiction rather than talking to their wives also kills love.

KRISTAL BULLOCK

Has he seen them all? Or do the titles just offend him because he doesn’t have a title with his name in it?

@EDWARDMURRELL8 Via Twitter

Dine, Jan. 12, “Taking a Stand on Stanza” Approachable and affordable with ingredients I can recognize. This is what I’ve been wanting to hear. Thanks, Ted.

SCOTT PERRY

Via cityweekly.net Dear Soap Box, With all of the fake news nowadays, we just want the straight dope, so I logged onto putin.gov and they gave us the straight dope … a heterosexual president elect.

ALAN E. WRIGHT,

ALLEN REESE

Salt Lake City

Via Facebook

Blog, Jan. 11, “Bad Day at Red Rock”

For another perspective, see the in-depth story leading up to this latest fiasco; find it in the Canyon County Zephyr (on Facebook it is the “Friends of the Canyon Country Zephyr”) and/or visit the FB page “Citizens for Transparency in Local Government” run by folks in Moab, some of whom are being sued by this woman for standing up to her in real life AND on their FB page.

MEG HARDS

Via Facebook

ALBERT GARCIA Via Facebook Epic.

Via cityweekly.net

PATRICK CARTER Via Facebook

That explains some of the fuzzy thinking that’s coming from Salt Lake City.

JUNE NEWBERRY Via Facebook

I love the taste of emissions in the morning.

Via Twitter

Blog, Jan. 13, “Utah ranks significantly high on air toxins, EPA report reveals”

The solution is: Turn off all the power and gas, and don’t drive your cars. We can all

J.M. BELL

The best solution is to cut down the Oquirrh Mountains. Problem solved.

@435_DEEZ_NUTS

Via Facebook

Porn is horrible! But let me do some more research and I’ll get back to you.

sit around in the dark and cold and freeze/ starve to death. You’re welcome.

Utah is a miserable place to live in the winter.

@FREDASCHMAUCH Via Twitter

But porn! That’s the real public health crisis!

CHARLES PLANTE Via Facebook

STAFF Publisher JOHN SALTAS

Editorial Interns SULAIMAN ALFADHLI, DAVID MILLER

Editorial

Contributors CECIL ADAMS, KATHARINE BIELE, ALASTAIR BLAND, ROB BREZSNY, BABS DE LAY, KYLEE EHMANN, COLBY FRAZIER, BILL FROST, MARYANN JOHANSON, ANNIE KNOX, TED SCHEFFLER, CHUCK SHEPHERD, ZAC SMITH, ERIC D. SNIDER, ALEX SPRINGER, BRIAN STAKER, BAYNARD WOODS, ANDREW WRIGHT, LEE ZIMMERMAN

Editor ENRIQUE LIMÓN Arts &Entertainment Editor SCOTT RENSHAW Music Editor RANDY HARWARD Senior Staff Writer STEPHEN DARK Staff Writer DYLAN WOOLF HARRIS Copy Editor ANDREA HARVEY Proofers SARAH ARNOFF, LANCE GUDMUNDSEN

Production

Business/Office

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PRIVATE EY

Jason Jarred

In this new age where the word Trump is often switched with the root of another word—such as when dystopian becomes Trumpian—we learn that facts don’t matter. When facts don’t matter, we become Alice in an ever changing Wonderland … or Trumpland. We no longer lie about the size of the fish that got away. Fish is served for dinner and we are told it is Kobe steak.

People are so happy to experience Kobe steak, they ignore that what they just ate was a Jordan River carp, and whoever says it’s not steak is a damned liar. This is the world where Jason Chaffetz lives.

Chaffetz is the consummate liar and he pays no consequence for lying. Or, shall we be alt-nice? He pays no price for equivocating. He pays no price for flip-flopping. He pays no price for selling his dignity and the honor of a U.S. Congressman upon taking advantage of any opening that will lend him more television time, another fingersniffing photograph in the newspaper or one more chance to curry favor with those who really run the show in his party and in Washington, D.C. Older readers recall that in 1988 and 1989, Jason Chaffetz was the placekicker for the BYU Cougars football team, where according to a 2015 Thomas Burr article in The Salt Lake Tribune, Chaffetz first displayed his glaring ego by “pulling off his helmet after a successful boot and fanning his curly locks for the cameras.” While punters are associated with talent, humor and machismo (fully due to one man, Tom Hackett of the University of Utah), most coaches and fans cared little for the place-kicking runts who just as often lost games as won them (notable exceptions are Utah Utes Louie Sakoda, Andy Phillips and Bryan Borreson for beating BYU 3-zip in 2003). Chaffetz was a career 64-percent field goal kicker.

That sucks. If only the great LaVell Edwards had cut the preening Chaffetz from the team, the United States would be

much better off today. Alas, the butterfly effect. Yet, if Chaffetz held that same ratio (telling the truth just 64 percent of the time) as a congressman, one might consider that downright presidential. It’s all in a day’s work for the formerly Jewish, formerly Democrat, formerly plebeian Chaffetz.

That he flip-flops and equivocates at such an astounding rate is amazing, even for a politician. What’s more amazing is that he apparently doesn’t bear any awareness that while at the same time he’s obsessing for the cameras—whether holding before them the world’s worst X-Y axis graph or glad-handing, then tweeting at his useful foe Hillary Clinton during Trump’s inauguration—he’s the only person in the room that hasn’t noticed he has pissed himself.

I’m pretty sure Chaffetz visited our office early in the gubernatorial term of Jon Huntsman Jr. It’s no secret City Weekly was a big fan and supporter of Gov. Huntsman. Chaffetz had served as campaign manager and then as chief of staff for the popular Huntsman, so it was, if memory serves me well, that we were all very nice to Chaffetz during his visit. My own encounter was nothing more than a glance and a wave, so do forgive. I am not making up alternative facts here; I am simply not certain. The person I’m thinking of could well have been the postman in street clothes.

But the point is, even we were duped by the young up-and-comer. And so, it seems, was Jon Huntsman Jr., for he later coined the term “Chaffetzed” ostensibly to describe a person who either cannot be trusted or one who stabs another in the back. If only Huntsman had not promoted him to chief of staff, the country would be a better place today. Those damned butterflies.

Maybe not, though. The Chaffetz ego is boundless. And who knows? Had neither Edwards nor Huntsman pipelined him, he

STAFF BOX

B Y J O H N S A LTA S @johnsaltas

could instead have become a car salesman, an MLM CEO or—dread the thought—a CIA agent, then rising to agency head, then onto a cabinet position in the Trump presidency.

Mercifully, the CIA rejected Chaffetz’ application in the early 2000s, so that track led nowhere. Sort of. It could be irony or carelessness or more Chaffetz buffoonery, but from the ignoble Valerie Plame spy outing to the possible revelation of state secrets during the Benghazi hearings, Chaffetz has pretty much toasted the CIA ever since.

Chaffetz is perfectly safe in his gerrymandered congressional district that he won by over 100,000 votes in 2016. So any of the above matters not to those voters, nor that he cognitively lied about not being able look his own daughter in the eye should he support Donald Trump after the infamous Access Hollywood recordings were leaked.

At the first opening, he announced he would vote for Trump—just not endorse him. He used his daughter as a kicking tee, that’s all.

People are clamoring for Chaffetz to use his position as chairman of the House Oversight Committee to call for investigations into possible conflict of interest violations by President Trump.

Ain’t gonna happen. He will distract us all with Hillary Benghazi nonsense as long as it’s useful for him and his party. On cue, Chaffetz last week pointed his snarky grin at the bipartisan head of the Government Ethics Office, outlandishly claiming an ethics breach by that office. Ethics be damned on all counts and to all comers. To Chaffetz, it never mattered if the field goal was good or not, it just mattered that he got to take his helmet off and wave to the crowd.

And it landed him in high government. He wants to go higher. You’ve been warned. CW

CHAFFETZ IS PERFECTLY SAFE IN HIS GERRYMANDERED CONGRESSIONAL DISTRICT THAT HE WON

BY OVER 100K VOTES.

WE WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE AFTER THE FIRST SESSION.

Send feedback to comments@cityweekly.net

Readers can comment at cityweekly.net

Do the recent protests give you hope for better political discourse?

Pete Saltas: For starters, it beats yelling in all caps at your distant relative on Facebook.

Scott Renshaw: “Discourse” feels like a lost cause, sadly. But the protests do give me hope that whatever craziness might lie ahead won’t happen without a fight.

Mikey Saltas: I’d hope so; the Women’s March was inspiring. But when the predator-in-chief and his press secretary supersede the media and create their own reality, it’s a little discouraging.

Period.

Nicole Enright: Absolutely. We just need to keep up and make sure our voices are being listened to. In addition to protesting, make sure you are reaching out to your representatives as well!

Tyeson Rogers: It gives me hope, but I feel like we have done enough protesting.

It is time to take action. Do something where everybody can’t see you at the protest on social media. Join an activist group, start your own, anything. The time for speeches and rallies is over.

Now is the time for revolution.

Doug Kruithof: Actually, yes. Albeit a guarded version of hope.

Jackie Briggs: It does. Showing up is louder than exploding on Twitter. Yay for reality!

Jeremiah Smith: I think the marches are exactly the sort of thing we need. I don’t think every protest is effective, but some are definitely needed.

Paula Saltas: Maybe. Until Madonna blows up the White House, which would only be the second-worst Independence Day sequel.

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WEIRD

BY CHUCK SHEPHERD

Post-Truth Society In January, the U.S. Court of Appeals finally pulled the plug on Orange County, Calif., social workers who had been arguing in court for 16 years that they were not guilty of lying under oath because, after all, they did not understand that lying under oath in court is wrong. The social workers had been sued for improperly removing children from homes and defended their actions by inventing “witnesses” to submit made-up testimony. Their lawyers had been arguing that the social workers’ “due process” rights were violated in the lawsuit because in no previous case on record did a judge ever have occasion to explicitly spell out that creating fictional witness statements is not permitted.

The Way the World Works Former elementary school teacher Maria Caya, who was allowed to resign quietly in 2013 from her Janesville, Wis., school after arriving drunk on a student field trip, actually made money on the incident. In November 2016, the city agreed to pay a $75,000 settlement—because the police had revealed her blood-alcohol level to the press in 2013 (allegedly “private” medical information). The lawsuit against the police made no mention of Caya’s having been drunk or passed out, but only that she had “become ill.”

The Redneck Chronicles John Bubar, 50, was arrested in Parsonsfield, Maine, in November after repeatedly lifting his son’s mobile home with his front-end loader and dropping it. The father and son had been quarreling over rent payments and debris in the yard, and the father only eased up after realizing that his grandson was still inside the home. n Update: The Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission reversed itself in December and allowed Mary Thorn of Lakeland to keep her 6-foot-long pet alligator (“Rambo”) at home with her despite a regulation requiring that a gator that size needs a more spacious roaming area. Thorn and Rambo have been together for over a decade.

Unclear on the Concept “I’m (as) tired of hearing the word ‘creep’ as any black person or gay person is of hearing certain words,” wrote Lucas Werner, 37, on his Facebook page in December after he was banned from a Starbucks in Spokane, Wash., for writing a polite dating request to a teenaged barista. Managers thought Werner was harassing the female, who is at least the age of consent, but Werner charged illegal “age discrimination” and made a “science” claim that “age gap love” makes healthier babies.

Police Report Taylor Trupiano grudgingly paid his $128 “traffic” fine in December, issued by a Roseville, Mich., officer who caught his car warming up unattended—in his own driveway. Police routinely issue such tickets (5-10 each winter, based on a town ordinance) to send drivers like Trupiano a message that unattended cars are ripe for theft, which burdens Roseville’s police department. (A police spokesman said the driverless warmups are illegal even for locked cars.)

Awwwwwww!

Jasper Fiorenza, 24, was arrested in St. Petersburg, Fla., in November and charged with breaking into a home in the middle of the night. The female resident said she awoke to see Fiorenza and screamed, but that the man nonetheless delayed his getaway in order to pet the woman’s cat lounging on her bed. n In December, Durham, Ontario, police officer Beth Richardson was set for a disciplinary hearing (“discreditable conduct”) because, earlier in 2016, after being called to intervene at a drug user’s home, she had noticed the resident’s cat “cowering” in a corner and had taken her to a veterinarian, but without asking the owner’s permission.

Thanks this week to Gerald Sacks and the News of the Weird Board of Editorial Advisors.

HITS&MISSES

BY KATHARINE BIELE

FIVE SPOT

RANDOM QUESTIONS, SURPRISING ANSWERS RANGER PETERSON

S NEofW the

@kathybiele

Victim Support

In the new age of alternative facts, there might still be hope for Utah’s truth-seekers.

A state judge has refused to dismiss a Salt Lake Tribune lawsuit seeking emails from the BYU police force. For women, this is particularly important. The lawsuit seeks the emails regarding how police treated women who claimed they were sexually assaulted. Yes, BYU is a private institution, but the judge noted that it doesn’t make any sense to allow them to exercise police power but not be subject to the accountability afforded by the Government Records Access Management Act. BYU stopped honor-code investigations of rape victims last year after an outcry and petition sought safety for victims of assault. The Daily Herald reported on support for a new Title IX director and victim advocate. It’s a start.

Chaffetz’ Vendetta

“Dear Mr. Chaffetz,” The Herald Journal editorial begins. The editorial board was none too happy with his continuing vendetta against Hillary Clinton, even after her electoral demise and Donald Trump’s rising conflicts of interest. Chaffetz told them that accountability was one of the four critical issues for the nation’s movement forward. The Herald was just baffled by the whole turnaround on the ethics office followed by Chaffetz’s investigation of its director. Then, to add fuel to the fire, Chaffetz posted on Facebook a photo of himself shaking Clinton’s hand and saying he was “so pleased she is not president” and “the investigation continues,” garnering more than 2,000 shares and comments.

Assisted Suicide

Hand it to the Deseret News to run a lengthy feature explaining the vagaries of assisted suicide. As America embarks on an era in which “life” may be defined as almost anything, the effort to ease the departure of some people might be at risk. The question, of course, is whether it is possible to draw the line between kindness and selfishness, or perhaps simply economic convenience. This year is the fourth effort in Utah to legalize assisted suicide, and even though it would be on very narrow terms, the life-is-life forces seem to have the floor.

Religious groups, including Mormons and Catholics, are having none of it. But public opinion, liberalized laws in Europe and even the U.S. Supreme Court could change the landscape. Maybe not this year.

Chris Tellesbo of Holladay discovered a love of space and disc golf around six years ago, and he excels in both fields. At 26, he’s already completed an internship with NASA, landed a research assistant job in the astrophysics department at the University of Utah, and become a sponsored touring professional with Dynamic Discs, one of the largest disc golf companies in the world.

What about astrophysics and disc golf appeals to you? Do they complement each other?

Astrophysics is kind of limitless. You can think up stuff and then go experiment to see how correct—or how totally wrong—you are. There’s a lot still to learn about it, and it’s literally out of this world. Disc golf is just me against my own head. They’re both a mental workout, but they use different parts of my brain. They’re absolutely complementary. School is me sitting at my computer, not moving, stressing. Disc golf is walking around and having fun with friends. If I’ve learned one thing from both, it’s that nothing goes totally your way. …

But it’s cool, because it forces you to develop your problem-solving skills.

What does being a sponsored, professional disc golfer entail?

I have to wear Dynamic Discs’ logo at events and pretty much every time I golf. Any time I cash in an event, I have to thank them. I only throw their discs as well as those of their two partner companies, Latitude 64 and Westside Discs. More than winning, more than social media shout-outs, I aim to represent them well by helping out local players, trying to be a good role model for kids, and working to dispel some of the incorrect stereotypes about disc golf.

Tell me about your internship at NASA.

Right after I got my bachelor’s degree, I landed an internship at Marshall Space Flight Center in Huntsville. I put off grad school and worked there for a semester doing meteor shower trace-back on orphan showers, tracing them back to their parent bodies.

What do you do as a research assistant?

The New Horizons satellite that just took all the pictures of Pluto is now headed into the Kuiper Belt, which is a big asteroid belt of comets outside the solar system, near Pluto. I’m working on a proposal that looks at the dynamics of Kuiper Belt binaries—which are two Kuiper Belt objects orbiting each other—to find the likelihood of the satellite’s target having a binary partner, or moon, or ring system.

You’re applying for a graduate fellowship with NASA, then completing your thesis and graduating. What does that mean for disc golf?

The cool thing about the NASA fellowship is I’d get to keep working here, doing what I want to do—they’ll just pay me more to do it. And I also get my name in the hat with NASA again. It depends on the job, really. But I don’t think I’ll ever quit the game until I’m old and broken.

—RANDY HARWARD rharward@cityweekly.net

THE

OCHO

CITIZEN REVOLT In a week, you can

The Science of Brewing...

CHANGE THE WORLD

THE LIST OF EIGHT

BY BILL FROST

@Bill _ Frost

Eight—you knew this was coming— Alternative Facts:

7. Utah’s air quality isn’t toxic; it’s chunky-style.

6. The Women’s March didn’t scare conservatives shitless; it promoted their colonic health.

5. Print media isn’t dead; it’s whimsically tactile.

4. TV news isn’t useless; it’s vacantly pretty.

3. The planet isn’t getting

ineffectual governor; he’s doing great with a double-digit IQ.

1. The Ocho isn’t giddy over the

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ROE V. WADE ANNIVERSARY CELEBRATION

The annual Chili Open, the biggest fundraising event of the year for People Helping People, offers you a chance to make a difference in the lives of women and children in need. Sponsored by the Rotary Club of Sugar House, the event— now in its 17th year—has raised more than $900,000 for PHP’s Employment Program. This year features a dinner and auction with entertainment by Peter Breinholt. Loveland Living Planet Aquarium, 12033 Lone Peak Parkway, Draper, 801-583-4175, Friday, Jan. 27, Social, 5:30-7 p.m.; Dinner, 7-10 p.m., $85 per person, phputah.org

Following the Women’s March on Washington, Planned Parenthood of Utah hopes women will fight lawmakers’ efforts to return to the pre-Roe world, and make it clear that “We Won’t Go Back.” Celebrate access to safe and legal abortion at a time when your support and attention is needed. The night’s entertainment includes performances by slam poet Sonya Renee Taylor—founder of the international movement “The Body Is Not An Apology”—and “queer pop” musician Be Steadwell. Grand Hall at Union Pacific Station, 400 W. South Temple, 801-532-1586, Friday, Jan. 27, 7-11 p.m., $20, ppacutah.org

—KATHARINE BIELE Send tips to revolt@cityweekly.net

JANUARY 26, 2017 | 9

advent of Alternative Facts; it’s professionally vindicated (suck it, SPJ Awards).

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You might not think it happens in Utah, but think again. The Utah Attorney General’s Office, the Junior League of Salt Lake City and the Refugee & Immigrant Center are hosting Human Trafficking in Utah Forum, an important discussion surrounding this alarming issue. Did you know that 100,000300,000 children are prostituted in America every year and many more are at risk? And it is happening in your own backyard. Following a resource fair where you can learn about services and programs, a panel discussion moderated by Attorney General Sean Reyes begins at 6 p.m. Utah State Capitol, State Room (Senate Building), 350 N. State, 801-328-1019, Thursday, Jan. 26, 4-7:30 p.m., free, jlslc.org

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In its entry for “teeth cleaning,” Wikipedia claims that “any general recommendation for a frequency of routine cleaning (e.g. every six months, every year) has no empirical basis.”

So now I’m considering saving money by skipping the dentist, and just doing my best to brush and floss at home. What do you think?

—Lyle in California I think I wouldn’t bet my teeth on something I saw on Wikipedia. I get it—no one likes being told what to do and when to do it, and that goes double for having the corners of your mouth yanked open while steely implements scrape and prod. And surely there’s no reason dental maintenance should be exempt from cost-benefit analysis. But when “being a smart consumer” starts looking too much like “avoiding going to the dentist,” it might be time to question your own motives, too.

It’s true that current research doesn’t offer much guidance. Two scholarly reviews, from 2013 and 2014, looked at the existing data attempting to gauge the effectiveness of routine scaling and polishing, and both sets of authors concluded the same thing: Better studies will be needed before we can say anything concrete about the benefits of professional cleaning, including how often it might be needed.

And the cited source for the Wiki quote you provide—a 2010 post on askthedentist.com, addressing a question similar to yours—more or less lines up with these findings: The twice-a-year cleaning model, it agrees, is arbitrary. But the asked dentist, a reasonable-sounding Bay Area DDS named Mark Burhenne, certainly doesn’t take the position that, in general, people are going to the dentist too often.

Burhenne’s concern is that, given wide variance in brushing/flossing regimens, two cleanings a year might not be often enough for a patient with gingivitis hoping to prevent full-blown periodontitis, or a patient with periodontitis who wants to keep his or her teeth.

After all, teeth cleaning (dental prophylaxis, to use the pros’ term) is largely about preventing gums, and eventually the bones your teeth are lodged in, from succumbing to bacterial destruction. The Centers for Disease Control has said that more than 47 percent of Americans aged 30 and up have periodontitis, which is what gingivitis develops into.

And while the condition can be prevented, or, once diagnosed, contained to some degree, the damage to gum and bone can’t be reversed. Even if you consider your teeth expendable, periodontal disease can have other health impacts: Pregnant women with bad gums, for instance, are more likely to bear low-weight children. If you have insurance covering two annual visits, it’s not going to do any harm to schedule those cleanings so your dentist can keep tabs on any developments.

Granted, it wasn’t dental-health pros who initially came up with the every-six-months recommendation, or even insurance agency bean-counters—it was ad men. In the

BY CECIL ADAMS SLUG SIGNORINO

STRAIGHT DOPE Sweet Teeth

1920s and ’30s Pepsodent fought its way to the top of the U.S. toothpaste market largely on the strength of advertising campaigns waged by industry pioneer Claude Hopkins.

The brand sponsored a succession of radio shows, including the wildly popular Amos ’n’ Andy, and Hopkins dreamed up the slogan that for years led off the broadcasts: “Use Pepsodent twice a day—see your dentist twice a year.” When dental insurance came along after W WII, the big insurers seem to have simply adopted the Pepsodent schema outright—again, it’s not like they could have based a check-up schedule on actual research, as there wasn’t any.

The copywriters on the Pepsodent account (as copywriters will) invented fantastical words to make their humdrum ingredients seem miraculous—the detergent chemical sodium lauryl sulfate became the futuristicsounding “irium.” And of course the company’s goals were more mercenary than public-spirited; their campaigns appealed to Americans’ vanity, insisting the product removed a disfiguring and embarrassing film from teeth rather than playing up possible health benefits. But you know what? Americans needed to learn to brush their damned teeth. The nation’s diet had changed, with the ascent of processed food making sugar and refined flour more prevalent, and tooth decay was rampant. A 1910 survey of 447 schoolkids in Elmira, N.Y., found that only 22 had completely healthy teeth; the rest had 2,063 cavities altogether and required 617 extractions. Toothpaste ads, however shakily conceived, likely did nudge the nation along toward better dental health.

Similarly, encouraging dentist visits at six-month intervals had no scientific basis, but that doesn’t make it a bad rule of thumb.

For its part, the American Dental Association advises patients that “the frequency of their regular dental visits should be tailored by their dentists to accommodate for their current oral health status and health history.” That’s a roundabout way of saying that the answer to the question “How often should you see your dentist?” is simple: Ask your dentist. If the response sounds fishy, well, there are lots of other dentists to choose from, and with your teeth on the line, it’s worth shopping around for one you trust. A medical professional who’s intimately familiar with your in-mouth situation probably knows more about how often you should check in than you do, and certainly more than Wikipedia does. n

Send questions to Cecil via straightdope.com or write him c/o Chicago Reader, 350 N. Orleans, Chicago 60654.

NEWS

P U B L I C H E A LT H

Protecting Planned Parenthood

With state legal fight over, Utah chapter braces for federal cuts.

K

Planned Parenthood of Utah’s Karrie Galloway says she and her team are “working night and day” to figure out funding solutions.

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JANUARY 26, 2017 | 11

Salt Lake City advertising agency to get the word out about its clients. One part of the message: While most of Planned Parenthood patients are women, about 1 in 5 people seeking services from the organization’s Utah clinics are men, according to the group’s yearly report.

The majority are in the 21-30 age range.

Planned Parenthood has both allies and foes in the Utah Legislature, which convened this week. One pending proposal seeks to ensure that Utah women can get birth control through Medicaid, the health insurance program for people with a low income, even if Congress drops a requirement for insurers to cover contraception.

On the other hand, another bill would require doctors to inform women seeking medical drug-induced abortions that if they change their minds, they can take a pill to prevent the abortion from taking effect. Several physicians have criticized studies backing the method, saying the science doesn’t confirm that it’s safe or effective. Arizona, Arkansas and South Dakota have passed similar legislation.

Last year, the Utah Legislature made the Beehive State the first in the nation to require anesthesia at the 20-week mark, with the idea that a fetus can feel pain at that point. Gynecologists and obstetricians pushed back on the measure, saying the science isn’t clear, but the measure passed.

Away from the Capitol, some Utahns are unequivocal in their support for Planned Parenthood. After the November presidential election and during the legal battle against the governor, Galloway’s group received upticks in donations.

“Women need a safe and confidential place to get their reproductive health care,” Galloway says. “We can’t let them down.” CW

procedures, Ryan contends.

Mary Taylor, president of Pro-Life Utah, agrees. If you give someone $100 to help pay their mortgage and not to buy groceries, Taylor reasons, you’re still helping that person overall.

“We see no reason why this money should go to Planned Parenthood,” Taylor argues. She joins Ryan in calling for the money to be diverted to local public health centers.

On the campaign trail, Trump promised to defund the group and said he’d like to see Roe v. Wade, the U.S. Supreme Court decision allowing abortion nationwide, overturned.

But Planned Parenthood’s Utah office overseeing nine clinics from St. George to Logan isn’t deterred. It’s moving forward with plans to provide more robust family planning in Salt Lake County.

And a new program called Her Salt Lake is beginning to connect an estimated 7,000 Utah women to free birth control through March 2017. It’s a joint project involving University of Utah researchers, pharmaceutical companies and Planned Parenthood Association of Utah. The push has a mix of funding from foundations, the National Institutes of Health and private donors.

Her Salt Lake is a big step forward, Galloway contends, because it allows women to try out different forms of contraception if they feel one type or another has negative side effects or doesn’t work for their lifestyle. In previous studies, women generally were locked into one type of birth control.

The research project looks at how a community is affected by providing women with the option to choose the most effective types of birth control— intrauterine devices and hormonal implants—which generally are the most difficult to access.

The group also has teamed up with a

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Parenthood in 2010, right around the time she got engaged. Then a full-time student at Utah Valley University, she wasn’t able to get insurance through her parents, her part-time internship or the retail job where she made $7.25 an hour.

“I was in no position to pay for a baby,” Tholen says. “I called my mom and said, ‘What do I do?’ She said, ‘Go to Planned Parenthood.’”

Tholen was skeptical. She associated the organization with abortions and thought she’d hear about the merits of that procedure during her first visit.

“I thought they were going to shove that down my throat,” Tholen says.

“What I found was a clean, bright space that was very safe,” with employees who helped her figure out which type of birth control would be best at a price she could afford. Tholen has migraines triggered by changes in hormones, so the contraception does double-duty as medication to fend off the debilitating headaches.

Tholen says she’s disappointed by legislative efforts to defund the group.

She believes they “are sidestepping the real issue. We don’t respect women and trust them to make decisions for themselves,” Tholen says.

No matter their motivation, Republican lawmakers in Washington, D.C., are moving to nix Planned Parenthood funding as part of a larger plan to repeal Obamacare. In Washington last week, U.S. House Speaker Paul Ryan said he believes no taxpayer dollars should go to the group, which also provides cervical and breast cancer screenings, sexually transmitted infection (STI) testing and other services.

None of the $500 million in annual federal funding to Planned Parenthood goes toward abortions, but any taxpayer money flowing to the organization has the effect of supporting the

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

arrie Galloway, president/CEO of Planned Parenthood of Utah, was on her way to see jazz pianist and singer Diana Krall perform with the Utah Symphony in summer 2015 when she got the call.

On a late Friday in mid-August, Utah Gov. Gary Herbert ordered a halt to about $270,000 in federal money flowing to her organization through the state health office. It was a small taste of the kind of major cuts that could come down in coming months as Donald Trump settles into the presidency, backed by a Republican majority in Congress.

Galloway is now bracing for hits more formidable than the roughly quartermillion-dollar dent. Herbert’s move was ultimately reversed last year by a federal appeals court, which said the Republican governor unfairly discriminated against Galloway’s group. Herbert said he was spurred to action by secret videos purportedly showing Planned Parenthood officers outside of Utah discussing reimbursement for fetal tissue.

“I’m nervous, I’m frustrated,” Galloway says.

“What Planned Parenthood is known for is to work with people to make sure that they get their health care regardless of their ability to pay.” Her group will continue to provide care for the roughly 46,000 Utahns it saw last fiscal year, no matter how its federal funding is affected, Galloway says. The money from Washington makes up about a quarter of her $10.3-million budget. If it disappears, Galloway concedes, patients might be required to pay a little extra—say a few dollars a visit—to help make up the difference.

“I don’t have it all figured out, and it will happen in stages,” she says. “But we are working night and day to figure it out.”

That’s good news to Celeste Tholen, 26, who supports the organization even though she no longer goes there for services. Tholen, who works in marketing in Salt Lake City, first went to Planned

ENRIQUE LIMÓN

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Fire Line

UFA Board considers recouping bonuses paid to former chiefs and turning investigation over to law enforcement.

BY COLBY FRAZIER cfrazier@cityweekly.net @ColbyFrazierLP

A

week after the Utah State Auditor issued an exhaustive audit documenting the misdeeds of former fire chiefs at the Unified Fire Authority, the board that oversees the state’s largest firefighting agency is weighing whether it will seek criminal and civil action against its former employees.

The 68-page audit outlined a pattern of abuse and alleged fraud by former UFA chief and current Salt Lake County Councilman Michael Jensen and his former deputy chief, Gaylord Scott.

Both men resigned last summer after a City Weekly investigation uncovered hundreds of thousands of dollars of bonuses and other benefits the chiefs, and other top lieutenants, were receiving.

Auditors also urged the UFA board— made up of elected leaders from Salt Lake County and the other cities and towns the fire department serves—to seek criminal charges against the men and recoup the lavish bonuses, as well as taxpayer money that showered the men with abundant electronic devices and junkets to various cities across the country for work that, in one case, was an excuse to attend baseball games.

To that end, the board on Monday announced it intends to hold a special meeting Thursday, Jan. 26, to discuss the audit and its recommendations.

As the board moves into what it hopes is a new era at the fire department—a key aspect of which took place when it hired Dan Petersen, a fire chief from Medford, Ore.—the board itself is grappling with its own trials in attempting to identify its role in the events that sparked the audit.

“This audit uncovered numerous examples where the board’s failure to properly hold senior management accountable resulted in the inappropriate use of public funds,” the audit notes.

“The board’s failure to provide oversight allowed senior management to abuse their position by ‘overriding’ policies or procedures for personal gain.”

In addition to these failures, the audit cites former chief Jensen’s other job as a county councilman (Jensen

T R A N SPA R E N C Y was re-elected in November to his fifth four-year term), as having a chilling influence over some board members who might have feared him.

The audit says that board members were reluctant to question Jensen because it could result in County Council decisions that could negatively impact board members’ cities.

“We believe that most board members had an attitude of ‘go along to get along,’” the audit says. “We did not identify any threatened or actual punitive action on the part of the former chief.”

As of press time, neither Jensen nor Scott responded to requests for comment.

Eagle Mountain Mayor Chris Pengra, whose community is served by UFA firefighters and paramedics and who is the UFA board spokesman, says the board is the entity that should have prevented the misuse of taxpayer funds outlined in the audit.

However, he notes that auditors uncovered examples where UFA policies were altered by the chief and his deputy chief to suit their needs—instances where no policy-making decisions from the board could have thwarted the chiefs’ behavior.

“We offer a sincere apology to the public for any part we played in not preventing those things from happening,” Pengra says. “There are clear examples where policies were unilaterally changed to authorize inappropriate action by Jensen and Scott. I don’t think any policy or process was ever going to be successful in bringing those things to light.”

Among the last acts by the board in regard to Scott and Jensen as they resigned was to offer the men severance packages. For Scott, who auditors say received more than $100,000 in improper bonuses during his tenure, the board doled out $42,206 in severance pay. For Jensen, who auditors also say accepted around $100,000 in improper bonuses, the severance package totaled $92,670.

Because the men stepped down amid concerns regarding the propriety of the bonuses, as well as potential misuse of public funds in regard to travel, gas card and credit card use, the auditors suggest that the board not only recoup the bonuses from the two former chiefs, but also the severance packages. The audit also indicates that the board had ample reasons to fire Scott and Jensen—an action that would have voided any severance agreement.

“With suspicions of improper activity, and given the information available to the board at that time, we question why the board did not proceed with termination for cause,” the audit says.

State Auditor John Dougall says that many board members clearly trusted Jensen, and that “for some, there was also a level of fear.”

COLBY FRAZIER

NEWS

Former UFA Fire Chief Michael Jensen (center) at a July 19, 2016, closed-session meeting, during which the board accepted Deputy Chief Gaylord Scott’s resignation.

“It was easy just to bite your tongue,” he says. “You had a board that was OK being left in the dark and a former chief who took advantage of that.”

City Weekly’s investigation—compiled using public documents that specified the chiefs’ use of taxpayer-funded gas and credit cards—revealed that Scott had a penchant for steak dinners, Apple devices and, especially, driving a UFAprovided SUV. In a five-year span, Scott spent $28,800 on gasoline and another $110,440 on miscellaneous purchases, including a pair of firearms that credit card receipts show were once destined to be auctioned off, but remained in Scott’s care instead.

Auditors found that between 2012 and 2016, Scott amassed an average of 30,016 miles per year on his UFA vehicle—17,772 more than would be needed for his commute.

When it came to Scott and Jensen’s excessive purchases of electronics, auditors found that the men also employed these devices for personal use.

Although Jensen and Scott apparently attempted to wipe the devices clean of any data, a forensic team restored the information, revealing that Jensen had used his UFA computer for a family business and his political campaigns.

On Scott’s computers, auditors say they discovered “thousands of pornographic images.”

As the UFA board contemplates whether or not to seek hundreds of thousands of dollars in reimbursements from Jensen and Scott, the audit has also sparked interest from Salt

Lake County Auditor Scott Tingley, who announced last week that he intends to audit expenses by all nine of the Salt Lake County Council members and their staffs.

It is not unusual, State Auditor Dougall says, for his office to recommend criminal prosecution. “Whenever someone is stealing money or seriously violates the law, we recommend law enforcement look into that,” Dougall says, adding that when this does happen, actual criminal prosecutions occur “pretty much all the time.”

As the allegations of wrongdoing mounted against Jensen and Scott in recent months, UFA board members, as well as the man put in place to help mend the organization, UFA Assistant Chief Mike Watson, emphasized that the rancor surrounding the organization’s former leaders shouldn’t overshadow the great work done each day by the hundreds of UFA firefighters and paramedics.

With the audits now concluded and a new chief at the helm, Watson, who has reverted back to an assistant chief after a couple of months acting as interim chief, says UFA’s many employees can at last begin to move forward.

“At some point, our own employees need to see that we are moving forward,” Watson says. “I’m just glad our folks can see we have a new leader.”

Scanning the long list of alleged inappropriate behavior by Jensen and Scott outlined in neat bullet points and on official state of Utah letterhead, Pengra says, was “deeply troubling.”

“Seeing all of the misdeeds catalogued in one document was appalling,” he says. CW

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Feeling Hot, Hot, Hot

I

By Alastair Bland comments@cityweekly.net @allybland

Addressing the greenhouse elephant in the room.

f President Trump actually believes all his campaign warnings about the threats of immigration, he should now be talking about ways to slow global warming as well. Rising sea levels, caused by the melting of the Antarctic and Greenland ice caps, probably will displace tens of millions of people in the decades ahead, and many might come to North America as refugees.

Climate change will cause a suite of other problems for future generations, and it’s arguably the most pressing issue of our time.

In December 2015, world leaders gathered in Paris to discuss strategies for curbing greenhouse-gas emissions, and scientists at every corner of the globe confirm that humans are facing a crisis. However, climate change is being nearly ignored by American politicians and lawmakers. It was not discussed in depth at all during this past election cycle’s televised presidential debates.

And, when climate change does break the surface of public discussion, it polarizes Americans like almost no other political issue. Some conservatives, including Trump, still deny there’s even a problem.

“We are in this bizarre political state in which most of the Republican Party still thinks it has to pretend that climate change is not real,” says Jonathan F.P. Rose, a New York City developer and author of The Well-Tempered City, which explores, in part, how low-cost green development can mitigate the impacts of rising global temperatures and changing weather patterns.

Rose says progress cannot be made in drafting effective climate strategies until national leaders agree there’s an issue.

“We have such strong scientific evidence,” he continues. “We can disagree on how we’re going to solve the problems, but I would hope we could move toward an agreement on the basic facts.”

That such a serious planetwide crisis has become a divide across the American political battlefield “is a tragedy” according to Peter Kalmus, an earth scientist with the Jet Propulsion Laboratory at Caltech in Pasadena, who agreed to be interviewed for this story on his own behalf (not on behalf of NASA, JPL or Caltech).

Kalmus warns that climate change is happening whether politicians want to talk about it or not.

“CO2 molecules and infrared photons don’t give a crap about politics, whether you’re liberal or conservative, Republican or Democrat or anything else,” he says.

Slowing climate change will be essential, since adapting to all its impacts might be impossible. Governments must strive for greater resource efficiency, shift to renewable energy and transition from conventional to more sustainable agricultural practices.

America’s leaders must also implement a carbon pricing system, climate activists say, that places a financial burden on fossilfuel producers and reduces greenhouse-gas emissions. But there may be little to zero hope that such a system will be installed at the federal level now that Trump is in the White House. Trump has actually threatened to reverse any commitments the United States agreed to in Paris. Trump even selected a well-known skeptic of climate change, Myron Ebell, to head his U.S. Environmental Protection Agency transition team. Ebell is the director of the Center for Energy and Environment at the Competitive Enterprise Institute.

Steve Valk, communications director for the Citizens’ Climate Lobby, says the presidential election results come as a discouraging setback in the campaign to slow emissions and global warming.

“There’s no doubt that the steep hill we’ve been climbing just became a sheer cliff,” he says. “But cliffs are scalable.”

Valk says the American public must demand that Congress implement carbon pricing. He says the government is not likely to face and attack climate change unless voters force them to.

“The solution is going to have to come from the people,” he says. “Our politicians have shown that they’re just not ready to implement a solution on their own.”

After Paris

There is no question the Earth is warming rapidly, and already this upward temperature trend is having impacts. It is disrupting agriculture. Glacial water sources are vanishing. Storms and droughts are becoming more severe. Altered winds and ocean currents are impacting marine ecosystems. So is ocean acidification, another outcome of carbon dioxide emissions. The sea is rising and eventually will swamp large coastal regions and islands.

As many as 200 million people could be displaced by 2050. For several years in a row now, each year has been warmer than any previous year in temperature records, and by 2100 it may be too hot for people to permanently live in the Persian Gulf.

World leaders and climate activists made groundbreaking progress toward slowing these effects at the Paris climate conference. There, leaders from 195 countries drafted a plan of action to reduce global greenhouse gas emissions and steer the planet off its predicted course of warming. The pact, which addresses energy, transportation, industries and agriculture—and which asks leaders to regularly upgrade their climate policies—is intended to keep the planet from warming by 2.7 degrees Fahrenheit between pre-industrial years and the end of this century. Scientists forecast that an average global increase of 3.6 degrees Fahrenheit will have devastating consequences for humanity.

“We are in this bizarre political state in which most of the Republican Party still thinks it has to pretend that climate change is not real.”

— Jonathan F.P. Rose

The United States pledged to cut greenhouse gas emissions by 26 percent from 2005 levels within a decade. China, Japan and nations of the European Union made similar promises. More recently, almost 200 nations agreed to phase out hydrofluorocarbons, extremely potent but short-lived greenhouse gases emitted by refrigerators and air conditioners, and reduce the emissions from the shipping and aviation industries.

But in the wake of such promising international progress—as 2016 becomes the third record-warm year in a row—many climate activists are disconcerted both by United States leaders’ recent silence on the issue and by Trump’s election. Mark Sabbatini, editor of the newspaper Icepeople in Svalbard, Norway, believes shortsighted political scheming has pushed climate change action to the back burner. He wants to see politicians start listening to scientists.

“But industry folks donate money and scientists get shoved aside in the interest of profits and re-election,” Sabbatini says.

He recently had to evacuate his apartment as unprecedented temperatures thawed out the entire region’s permafrost, threatening to collapse buildings.

Short-term goals and immediate financial concerns distract leaders from making meaningful policy advances on climate.

“In Congress, they look two years ahead,” Sabbatini continues.

“In the Senate, they look six years ahead. In the White House, they look four years ahead.”

The 300 nationwide chapters of the Citizens’ Climate Lobby are calling on local governments and chambers of commerce across America to voice support for a revenue-neutral carbon fee.

It’s hoped is that leaders in Congress will hear the demands of the people. This carbon fee would impose a charge on producers of oil, natural gas and coal. As a direct result, all products and services that depend on or directly utilize those fossil fuels would cost more for consumers, who would be incentivized to buy less. Food shipped in from far away would cost more than locally grown alternatives. Gas for heating, electricity generated by oil and coal, and driving a car would become more expensive.

“Bicycling would become more attractive, and so would electric cars and home appliances that use less energy,” says Kalmus, an advocate of the revenue-neutral carbon fee.

Promoting this fee system is essentially the Citizens’ Climate Lobby’s entire focus.

“This would be the most important step we take toward addressing climate change,” Valk says.

By the carbon-fee system, the revenue from fossil fuel producers would be evenly distributed by the collecting agencies among the public, perhaps via a tax credit. Recycling the dividends back into society would make it a fair system, Valk explains, since poorer people—who tend to use less energy than wealthier people to begin with and are therefore less to blame for climate change— would come out ahead.

The system would also place a tariff on incoming goods from nations without a carbon fee. This would keep American industries from moving overseas and maybe even prompt other nations to set their own price on carbon.

But there’s a problem with the revenue-neutral carbon fee, according to other climate activists: It doesn’t support social programs that may be aimed at reducing society’s carbon footprint.

“It will put no money into programs that serve disadvantaged communities who, for example, might not be able to afford weatherizing their home and lowering their energy bill, or afford an electric vehicle or a solar panel,” according to Renata Brillinger, executive director of the California Climate and Agriculture Network. “It doesn’t give anything to public schools for making the buildings more energy efficient, and it wouldn’t give any money to farmers’ incentive programs for soil building.”

Brillinger’s organization is advocating for farmers to adopt practices that actively draw carbon out of the atmosphere, like planting trees and maintaining ground cover to prevent erosion.

Funding, she says, is needed to support such farmers, who may go through transitional periods of reduced yields and increased costs. California’s cap-and-trade system, sets up an ample revenue stream for this purpose that a revenue-neutral system does not, according to Brillinger.

But Valk says establishing a carbon pricing system must take into account the notorious reluctance of conservatives in Congress.

“You aren’t going to get a single Republican in Congress to support legislation unless it’s revenue-neutral,” he says. “Any policy is useless if you can’t pass it in Congress.”

Sequestering the farm

In Washington, D.C., the nation’s leaders continue tussling over popular issues like immigration, taxes, healthcare, abortion, guns and foreign affairs.

Climate change activists wish they would be thinking more about soil. That’s because stopping greenhouse gas emissions alone will not stop climate change. The carbon dioxide emitted

sands of street trees. Trees draw in atmospheric carbon as they grow and, through shade and evaporative cooling effects, can significantly reduce surface temperatures by as much as 6 degrees Fahrenheit in some circumstances, Rose says.

Laws and policies that take aim at reduced emissions targets can be very efficient tools for generating change across entire communities. However, Kalmus believes it’s important that individuals, too, reduce their own emissions through voluntary behavior changes, rather than simply waiting for change to come from leaders and lawmakers.

“If you care about climate change, it will make you happier,” he says. “It makes you feel like you’re pioneering a new way to live.

For others, you’re the person who is showing the path and making them realize it’s not as crazy as it seems.”

Kalmus, who lives in Altadena, Calif., with his wife and two sons, has radically overhauled his lifestyle to reduce his carbon footprint. Since 2010, he has cut his own emissions by a factor of 10—from 20 tons per year to just 2, by his own estimates. This personal transformation is the subject of his forthcoming book, Being the Change: Live Well and Spark a Climate Revolution, due out later this year.

Kalmus rides a bike most places, eats mostly locally grown food, raises some of it in his own yard, has stopped eating meat and—one of the most important changes—has all but quit flying places.

He hopes to serve as a model and help spark a transition to an economy that does not depend on constant growth, as ours currently does. One day, he believes, it will be socially unacceptable to burn fossil fuel, just as it’s verboten to waste water in droughtdried California. The oil industry will eventually become obsolete, he predicts.

“We need to transition to an economy that doesn’t depend on unending growth,” Kalmus says.

Unless we slow our carbon emissions and our population growth now, depletion of resources, he warns, will catch up with us.

“We need to shift to a steady-state economy and a steady-state population,” he says. “Fossil-fueled civilization cannot continue forever.”

Though Americans now have a president who is essentially advocating for climate change, Valk, at the Citizens’ Climate Lobby, expects time—and warming— to shift voter perspectives.

“As more and more people are personally affected by climate change, like those recently flooded out in Louisiana and North Carolina,” he says, “people of all political persuasions will see that acting on climate change is not a matter of partisan preferences, but a matter of survival.” CW

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Climate reform advocates still talk about Bernie Sanders’ fiery attack on fracking as a source of global warming in the May primary debate with Hillary Clinton.

“If we don’t get our act together, this planet could be 5 to 10 degrees warmer by the end of this century,” Sanders said. “Cataclysmic problems for this planet. This is a national crisis.”

Sanders was not exaggerating. The Earth has already warmed by 1.7 degrees Fahrenheit since 1880, and it’s getting hotter. Even with the advances made in Paris, the world remains on track to be 6.1 degrees Fahrenheit warmer by 2100 than it was in preindustrial times, according to a United Nations emissions report released in early November. The authors of another paper published in January in the journal Nature predicted temperatures will rise as much as 10 degrees Fahrenheit.

In light of the scientific consensus, conservatives’ denial of climate change looks childish at best and dangerous at worst. In low-lying Florida—a state more vulnerable to the rising sea—an unofficial policy from its Republican leadership has effectively muzzled state employees from even mentioning “climate change” and “global warming” in official reports and communications. Republican senator Ted Cruz suggested NASA focus its research less on climate change and more on space exploration, according to The Christian Science Monitor.

Perhaps most frightening of all is the president’s stance: Trump said in a 2012 tweet that global warming is a Chinese hoax. In January 2014, during a brief spell of cold weather, he asked via Twitter, “Is our country still spending money on the GLOBAL WARMING HOAX?” While most of the world remains poised to advance emissionsreduction goals, Trump is aiming in a different direction. During the election, the Trump-Pence website vowed to “unleash America’s $50 trillion in untapped shale, oil and natural gas reserves, plus hundreds of years in clean coal reserves.” His webpage concerning energy goals only mentions reducing emissions once, and it makes no mention of climate change or renewable energy.

While meaningful action at the federal level is probably years away, progress is coming at the local level—even in communities led by Republicans, according to Rose. That, he says, is because local politicians face a level of accountability from which national leaders are often shielded.

“At the city level, mayors have to deliver real results,” Rose says. “They have to protect their residents and make wise investments on behalf of their residents. The residents see what they’re doing and hold them accountable.”

Restructuring and modifying our cities, which are responsible for about half of America’s carbon footprint, “will be critical toward dealing with climate change,” Rose says.

“On the coast, we’ll have sea-level rise,” he predicts. “Inland, we’ll have flooding and heat waves. Heat waves cause more deaths than hurricanes.”

Simply integrating nature into city infrastructure is a very low-cost but effective means for countering the changes that are coming, Rose says. Many cities, for example, are planting thou-

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SERENE LUSANO

National politics and city reform

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through centuries of industrial activity will continue to drive warming unless it is removed from the air and put somewhere.

“There are only three places carbon can go,” Brillinger says.

“It can go into the atmosphere, where we don’t want it; into the ocean, where we also don’t want it because it causes acidification; or into soil and woody plants where we do want it. Carbon is the backbone of all forests and is a critical nutrient of soil.”

But most of the Earth’s soil carbon has been lost to the atmosphere, causing a spike in atmospheric carbon. In the 1700s, the Earth’s atmosphere contained less than 280 parts per million of carbon dioxide, according to scientists. Now, we are at more than 400 and ticking upward. Climate experts generally agree that the atmospheric carbon level must be reduced to 350 or less if we are to keep at bay the most disastrous possible impacts of warming.

This is why farmers and the soil they work will be so important in mitigating climate change. By employing certain practices and abandoning other ones, farmers and ranchers can turn acreage into valuable carbon sinks—a general agricultural approach often referred to as “carbon farming.”

Conventional agriculture practices tend to emit carbon dioxide.

Regular tilling of the soil, for example, causes soil carbon to bond with oxygen and float away as carbon dioxide. Tilling also causes erosion, as do deforestation and overgrazing. With erosion, soil carbon enters waterways, creating carbonic acid—the direct culprit of ocean acidification. Researchers estimate that unsustainable farming practices have caused as much as 80 percent of the world’s soil carbon to turn into carbon dioxide.

By carbon farming, those who produce the world’s food can simultaneously turn their land into precious carbon sinks. The basic tenets of carbon farming include growing trees as windbreaks and focusing on perennial crops, like fruit trees and certain specialty grain varieties, which demand less tilling and soil disturbance.

Eric Toensmeier, a senior fellow with the climate advocacy group Project Drawdown and the author of The Carbon Farming Solution, says many other countries are far ahead of the United States in both recognizing the importance of soil as a place to store carbon and funding programs that help conventional farmers shift toward carbon farming practices. France, for instance, initiated a sophisticated program in 2011 that calls for increasing soil carbon worldwide by 0.4 percent every year. Healthy soil can contain 10 percent carbon or more, and France’s program has the potential over time to decelerate the increase in atmospheric carbon levels.

Toensmeier is optimistic about the progress being made in the United States, too. The U.S. Department of Agriculture funds programs that support environmentally friendly farming practices that protect watersheds or enhance wildlife habitat, largely through planting perennial grasses and trees.

“And it turns out a lot of the practices they’re paying farmers to do to protect water quality or slow erosion also happen to sequester carbon,” Toensmeier explains.

He says it appears obvious that the federal government is establishing a system by which they will eventually pay farmers directly to sequester carbon. Such a direct faceoff with climate change, however, may be a few years away still.

Climate activists may even need to wait until 2021.

“First we need a president who acknowledges that climate change exists,” Toensmeier says.

Pepper spray, brick-throwing make cameos during presidential inauguration.

D

By Baynard Woods comments@cityweekly.net @baynardwoods

ozens of police officers block off the corner at 12th and Massachusetts Avenue in Washington, D.C., gripping their batons and big canisters of pepper spray, faces obscured behind shields, as nearly 100 activists who had already been arrested are cordoned off behind them, waiting to be processed.

Protesters line the other side of the street. More and more arrive, chanting, yelling. “Let them go!”

A trail of pink smoke cuts through the air. There is the sound of a sting ball grenade and several officers open up with long orange streams of chemical-warfare pepper spray.

Many people reported that rubber bullets were also fired.

“Because, today … we are transferring power from Washington, D.C., and giving it back to you, the American People.”

Earlier, a woman who said she lived in the neighborhood, was standing at the battle lines screaming at both sides, her body wrapped in an American flag, her face burned by pepper spray, now caked with milk of magnesia.

“Why are you doing this?” she wailed.

“For too long, a small group in our nation’s Capital has reaped the rewards of government while the people have borne the cost. Washington flourished—but the people did not share in its wealth.”

Officers run at people holding their billy clubs in both hands at throat level. (Dalton Bennett, a Washington Post reporter was thrown to the ground).

Now they tackle a woman on the street, and use tall Clydesdale horses to menace anyone getting too close to the tackled protester.

“The establishment protected itself, but not the citizens of our country. Their victories have not been your victories; their triumphs have not been your triumphs; and while they celebrated in our nation’s capital, there was little to celebrate for struggling families all across our land.”

Before the ruckus began, the streets of D.C. were weirdly empty, a ghost town nothing like what we had seen in previous years, especially Obama’s record-setting first inauguration.

“We’re not seeing big crowds,” said Lacy MacAuley, a D.C. resident and organizer for DisruptJ20 (a collection of groups that came together for the inauguration protests). “We haven’t seen any area where we the protesters don’t outnumber Trump supporters.”

The ever-growing melee in Northwest D.C. around 12th and 13th streets began small enough.

I was wandering around at the makeshift headquarters for DisruptJ20. I saw a small group of five young people wearing all black start to walk away with purpose. I followed them. They pulled on their masks, but suddenly appeared lost. “Where are they?” they asked.

I started to scan the street and saw it, the mass of black shirts they were looking for. We all ran toward them. By the time I reached them, they, too, were running, chased by police on cycles—motor and bike—swerving almost as if to mow them down. A protester threw a trash can into the street. It rolled into a motorbike, forcing it to stop. A sign from in front of a store went flying through the air.

Other officers came in from the other side. The group—which had allegedly been using Black Bloc tactics of property destruction and, it was announced later, will now likely face felony charges—was cornered. That’s when the police went crazy with the pepper spray and the batons—for the first time of the day (earlier, activists had chained themselves together to block a checkpoint into the inauguration and the police had not arrested anyone).

“What truly matters is not which party controls our government, but whether our government is controlled by the people. January, 20, 2017, will be remembered as the day the people became the rulers of this nation again. The forgotten men and women of our country will be forgotten no longer.”

Suddenly, a man appears walking through the crowd followed by others and the mood changes, briefly.

“I am the president of America,” the man says. He is wearing a boot on his head, has a long gray beard and Rasputin eyes. “I am also an amateur hostage negotiator.”

His name is Vermin Supreme and he actually did run for president, as he has since 2004 (he promised a free pony for every American).

A little later, the air again filled with pepper spray and what seemed like a gas, Vermin Supreme gets right in front of the police line and squawks out the National Anthem, Jimi Hendrix style, through a bullhorn.

Another officer sprays gas into the crowd and sting ball grenades sound around the corner, where the heat of the action has moved. Lines of riot police face the protesters, some of whom threw bricks and concrete.

CLAIRE GOFORTH

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The Darkness of noon

“There is the sound of a sting ball grenade and several officers open up with long orange streams of chemicalwarfare pepper spray. Many people reported that rubber bullets were also fired.”

“Officers did not deploy tear gas and did deploy pepper spray and other armaments,” D.C.’s Interim Police Chief Peter Newsham told Democracy in Conflict. “A full accounting of the control devices deployed will be made available when we have it.”

“The time for empty talk is over. Now arrives the hour of action.”

The same multinational corporations Trump railed against in the campaign had their windows smashed—including Starbucks and Bank of America.

“So to all Americans, in every city near and far, small and large, from mountain to mountain, and from ocean to ocean, hear these words: You will never be ignored again.”

The day ends with a burning limousine in the streets, a new symbol of our unity.

“Your courage and goodness and love will forever guide us along the way.”

The guerilla chaos that filled the air like the pepper spray on Friday is washed away the next days as half a million people pour into the the city for the Women’s March, filled with righteous anger, solidarity and community.

At one point, after the march officially ends, a barricade blocking off Pennsylvania Avenue, leading toward the White House is knocked down. Marchers make their way to the fence on the other end, where Secret Service agents stand. An African-American woman walks up right beside them.

“Whose house? Our house!” she chants, her fist raised in the air. CW With additional reporting by Brandon Soderberg.

“i hope this momentum continues”

DW HARRIS

KATHARINE BIELE

a catharsis of sorts

Hundreds take to Salt Lake City streets to protest Trump.

One Utahn’s experience at the D.C. Women’s March.

By Katharine Biele revolt@cityweekly.net @kathybiele

I

P

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resident Donald Trump told Americans in his inaugural address that starting now, Washington, D.C., is listening to the people.

But Trump—not known accepting criticism graceously—might be less inclined to harken to the hundreds who took to Salt Lake City streets Friday night.

A crowd of marchers chanted out their opposition to Trump’s approval by white nationalists, his hard-line immigration rhetoric and his ties to anti-LGBTQ voices, among other things.

On the very night that Trump assumed the role of Leader of the Free World, Students for a Democratic Society’s University of Utah chapter organized a downtown protest.

Ian Decker, a Democratic Society member, said he wanted to ensure that Trump’s radical mores weren’t normalized.

“We want to start from Day 1,” Decker said. “We want Trump to know that if he makes one single regressive move, it’s going to be met with crisis; that we are ready to bring the country to a stop if he takes away the rights of working people.”

Theresa Nielson, also with the Students for a Democratic Society, hopes to see a groundswell movement among the historically downtrodden.

“We’re hoping to mobilize working-class people, and students and oppressed people to fight against Donald Trump,” she said, “as well as other members of the ruling class that don’t have our interests in mind.”

Nielson said she was heartened to see the colossal turnout.

At times, protesters expanded across the width of the road. The mass was so large that chants toward the front often didn’t match up with those in the back.

“I hope this momentum continues,” she said.

The demonstration commenced in front of the Wallace F. Bennett Federal Building, wound northwest around City Creek, continued up Main Street and then trudged up State Street to the Utah State Capitol.

Protester Rebecca Barker was also impressed by the size of the group, but wished that more people would have stood against Trump before the election.

“It feels a little too late, but it’s what we need to do now,” she said. “We just want to show that the people have the power still. We want to be heard.”

Spencer Cannon agreed. “I’ve never seen a crowd this big in Salt Lake,” he said. “It’s good to see a lot of fight back. These are the battlegrounds, fighting for our rights. For everybody’s rights.”

Trump was prominently in the crosshairs Friday night, but the organizers didn’t give Democrats or former President Barack Obama a pass. On the Capitol steps, a young man shouted anti-Democrat and anti-Trump slogans.

“The Democrats have failed to give us any real solutions,” Decker said later. “If you look at Obama, he’s deported more people than anyone else in U.S. history.

There was job growth but it was temporary jobs or part-time jobs—things that don’t support families.”

A majority of people, however, were protesting the 45th president. Marcia Culley waved a pole that had a mock-Trump head atop.

“We’re just so against Trump,” she said. “He’s against everything we believe in. He’s against women, gays, minorities, immigration. Just bad from the get-go.”

Students for a Democratic Society also aim to bolster the campus as a sanctuary space where undocumented immigrants don’t have to look over their shoulders for fear of deportation. CW

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t was all about representation because, of course, these women have no representation. We heard it over and over as we left for the Women’s March on Washington. “Represent Us!” We were going for a catharsis of sorts. Maybe there would be some effect on the congressmen who saw hundreds of thousands of women marching to the Capitol. But no one really expected to change the minds of the giddy new administration taking office as it pumps up its arms and assumes that women are less than men, that women should not have the right to choose what happens to their bodies, and that most women are frankly sixes at best.

No, it wasn’t an anti-Trump or pro-Hillary demonstration, although speakers lashed out at the toxic words of the new president. Well, Ashley Judd and Madonna might have taken it to the next level, and now there’s talk of investigating the latter for threatening to blow up the White House. OK, Madonna. We all know her only explosions are on stage, but we also know there is little, if any, humor in this presidency.

Things went pretty smoothly, except when Michael Moore was cut short during a rant against the Democratic National Committee, the same happening to Charlotte Johansen when she might have gone on a bit too long about Planned Parenthood.

This was a ’60s throwback march by the new, older and grayer hippie, the disenchanted millennial, the LGBTQ community, artists, parents and men, people of all colors and kinds—despite the multiple posts before the marches asserting that these were all about “privileged white women.” White women did start the movement, but a white woman started the NAACP, too. I asked several black women at the march what they thought about the white-privilege stuff. Their answers: “I’ve never heard that.” Total strangers stopped in coffee shops, on the street and in the metro station just to thank each other and hear one another’s stories.

A friend and I carried panels designed by Utah artist Jann Haworth, the co-creator of The Beatles’ Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band album cover. Haworth had created an installation of seven panels depicting strong women throughout history—partly because Shirley Temple was about the only “woman” on the original album cover. The 2-by-4-foot panels drew comments of stunned appreciation.

The march had a lot of rules, permeated by a certain amount of fear. We weren’t supposed to carry sticks to hold posters—or knock anyone upside the head. A lot of women thought maybe they should wear diapers, despite the presence of many porta-potties and the unintentionally comic “Don’s Johns” portable toilets.

Some marchers brought masks, vinegar and swim goggles just in case they got tear-gassed. None of that happened. As the march headed toward the White House, there was talk of protesters blocking the path. But not even the police could contain the sea of pink “pussy” hats and posters. While thousands discarded their posters in front of the White House, others broke off, idly passing a “Bikers for Trump” jam in the park.

We heard that drones and helicopters buzzed the Los Angeles march. The only things that broke the peace of the Washington march were a few pigeons and a random balloon that had escaped someone’s grasp.

The inauguration itself was a gray-clouded drizzling event, although the soon-to-be-president noted that the rain stopped just as he emerged. Because, you know, he commanded it. The skies remained overcast and gloomy into the day of the march. We arrived around 8 a.m. to meet the 700 other Utah delegates at the Air and Space Museum. Buses full of Utah women had rolled in from Philadelphia and Boston as it was nearly impossible to book flights to D.C. Not all of them gathered as a group—probably because the unexpectedly large crowds were being redirected around the Mall.

Marchers—a kind of euphemism since there was more standing and a lot less marching—stood for up to six hours as speakers, rappers and feminist icons galvanized the crowds. The messages were that women are under attack, that we are becoming a nation of ignorance and that we were marching for the 53 percent of white women who “voted for the other guy.” “Women are the wall and Trump will pay,” said one. “I can respect the presidency but not the president,” said another. But the overarching message was that voting counts and voices must be heard. CW

By Dylan Woolf Harris dwharris@cityweekly.net @DylantheHarris

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THURSDAY 1.26

FRIDAY 1.27

FRIDAY 1.27

Art depicting the creation of art has a fascinating and often painfully poignant self-reflective quality. Giacomo Puccini’s La Bohème—with its focus on young bohemian artists attempting to balance their creative desires, their hearts and the practicality of survival—is no exception. Westminster College’s upcoming performance takes on the struggle of young artists and pushes it into the modern day.

Over the course of four acts, these needs compete with one another, propelling the group toward a tragic and heartbreakingly romantic conclusion. If the threads of this tale seem familiar, it might be because they inspired and provided the framework for the popular modern musical Rent.

David Schmidt, the opera’s director, says this streamlined plot is perfect for first-time opera attendees. “I’ve actually invited several of my friends who have never seen an opera to this opera because it is so understandable,” he says. “It’s clearly a love story—several love stories—and it’s easy to understand.”

The decision for Westminster to perform La Bohème came down to having actors with the right voice types who were the same age as the characters, Schmidt says. “It’s a very difficult opera to cast, but we had the perfect storm and happened to have the right cast to actually do it.”

The fact that the characters’ and casts’ ages matched also spurred the decision to move the 1830s Paris setting to a contemporary one. The opera is sung in Italian with English supertitles.

(Kylee Ehmann) La Bohème @ Westminster College, 1840 S. 1300 East, 801-832-2458, Jan. 26 & 28, 7:30 p.m., $10, westminstercollege.edu

A self-proclaimed “D-lister” among the Hollywood elite, comedian Kathy Griffin never fails to say what’s on her mind. She rants about things others dare not discuss—booze, drugs, plastic surgery, Scientology, eating disorders and stars who refuse to discuss their sexuality but substitute snooty attitudes instead. She’s taken aim at a number of celebrities—Paris Hilton, Clay Aiken, Barbara Walters, Celine Dion, Jerry Seinfeld, Oprah Winfrey, Miley Cyrus, Uma Thurman and Renée Zellweger among them—and pissed off many along the way.

Griffin’s also built a career on saying things that guarantee a laugh but also make a point, and—having been banned, unbanned, banned again and unbanned after that from The View, as well as CNN’s New Year’s Eve special and E’s red carpet—she’s shrugged off the consequences. With a record number of comedy specials and half a dozen comedy albums to her credit, she can claim both an Emmy and a Grammy, not to mention a best-selling book, courtesy of her 2009 tell-all autobiography Official Book Club Selection. Likewise, when it comes to her causes—LGTBQ equality, eatingdisorder awareness, the dangers of Lasik surgery and pouncing on politicians—she’s never afraid to speak up whenever opportunity arises.

Just ask Sarah Palin and Michelle Bachman— two politicos with whom she’s tangled. Even Jesus was a comedic target inspiring much consternation.

Still, comedy and controversy go well together, and Griffin excels at both. No wonder she has such fervent fans. (Lee Zimmerman) Kathy Griffin @ Eccles Theater, 131 S. Main, 801-355-2787, Jan. 27, 8 p.m., $41-$117, ecclestheatersaltlakecity.com

University of Utah alum Whit Hertford has taken a circuitous route back to the Beehive State. After eight years of trying to make it as a professional actor in Los Angeles, Hertford applied for a graduate program in directing, moved to London and “about a year into my two-year course, I got bored,” he says. “How do I get my degree and never come to campus ever again?” Hertford accomplished that goal by working at a fringe theater in East London and producing shows, which earned him university credit.

It was there that Hertford became fascinated with the plays of Anton Chekhov, rediscovering them in a way that he had never seen before on stage. He wrote an adaptation of The Seagull inspired by similarities he found between the playwright and American filmmaker Wes Anderson. “Why are the U.S. & U.K. so precious with classic texts?” Hertford asks. “We’re keeping these things behind museum glass.”

That same rebel spirit inspired his adaptation of Chekhov’s lesser-known play Ivanov into the new version, Poor Bastard. It took only four days for him to rewrite the story about a man going through a mid-life crisis, wrestling with faith and mortality. Several friends and former classmates joined the class for this unique production, in the unique venue of CUAC gallery.

“I’m kind of warming to the idea that maybe my European influence and my radical desire to resuscitate these classic plays really belongs in the states,” Hertford says. “People ask, ‘Is this really Chekhov?’ My answer is, ‘Who knows?’”

(Scott Renshaw) Riot Act: Poor Bastard @ CUAC, 175 E. 200 South, Jan. 27-28, 7:30 p.m., $17-$19, brownpapertickets.com

Westminster College: La Bohème

Kathy Griffin

COURTESY OF THE ARTISTS

Complete listings online @ cityweekly.net

MIKE RUIZ

DONNIE BONELLI

ENTERTAINMENT PICKS, JAN. 26-FEB. 1, 2017

HALEY HOOVER

ESSENTIALS

the

Riot Act: Poor Bastard

FRIDAY 1.27

The Future Isn’t What It Used to Be

The Utah Museum of Contemporary Art hosts an opening of all-new exhibits. Among them are Imagining UMOCA, in which architecture students from the University of Utah’s Senior Design Studio imagine ideas for expanding the museum, and Only God Can Judge Me, featuring words by City Weekly Senior Staff Writer Stephen Dark and images of homeless youth by Niki Chan Wylie, whose photographs have been featured in ours and numerous other publications.

But early in the year, the future is on everyone’s minds, and visiting curator Susan Caraballo maintains that The Future Isn’t What It Used to Be. The present that seems to be hurdling into tomorrow is a dystopia that’s far removed from idealistic visions held by our predecessors. This exhibit looks at the predominant phenomena of violence and human atrocity with a bleak eye. Explicit violence is not featured, but its effects are depicted, like scenes of detritus and images of life in a police state.

The nine artists in the exhibit reflect a wide array of artistic genres, including Caraballo’s fellow Floridian Rosa Naday Garmendia, Mexican artist Octavio Abundez and Brazilian multimedia artists Gisela Motta and Leandro Lima.

The common thread is a call for change. An opening reception featuring all exhibits is held on Friday, Feb. 3, from 7-9 p.m. in accordance with the museum’s custom of hosting openings on the first Friday of each month. (Brian Staker) The Future Isn’t What It Used to Be @ Street + Codec Gallery, Utah Museum of Contemporary Art, 20 S. West Temple, 801-328-4201, Jan. 27-May 13, free, utahmoca.org

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20 | JANUARY 26, 2017

A&E

VISUAL ART

Time’s Arrow

Local video artist and creative writer explore relationships to the physical world.

BY BRIAN STAKER comments@cityweekly.net @stakerized

COURTESY OF THE ARTISTS

“P

eople don’t take trips. Trips take people.” So reads a journal entry by Alana Olsen, the experimental videographer whose work is being shown in a retrospective in Germany and much of America during early 2017. Her body of work, spanning four decades, has been said to have influenced everyone from Lars von Trier to Martin Arnold. Oh, and she’s also a fictional character in University of Utah English professor Lance Olsen’s 2014 novel Theories of Forgetting.

The Alana Olsen retrospective, titled There’s No Place Like Time, won’t be seen here, since she doesn’t actually exist. Instead, Lance Olsen and his wife—assemblage/video artist Andi Olsen, who collaborates with him—delivers a lecture at the Utah Museum of Fine Arts that’s a kind of virtual tour of the retrospective, including selected videos and artifacts, as part of the museum’s ARTLandish series of events that explore our relationship to the physical world.

The Spiral Jetty—the desired subject of Alana’s film project in the novel—is the physical center of Lance Olsen’s book. But in this work, the center is more like the eye of a cyclone that spirals out to encompass characters, places and times, like the shape of the earthwork itself, from Salt Lake City to Berlin, Thailand and Jordan. Alana and her husband, Hugh, are both victims of maladies that induce, among other things, mental degeneration, whose symptoms include the “forgetting” of the book’s title, which is also the title of Alana’s planned video about the Jetty. The effects of time include entropy, and the book is a kind of “entropology,” a term Spiral Jetty artist Robert Smithson borrowed from anthropologist Claude Levi-Strauss to describe the study of processes of decay.

Olsen’s book is disorienting because Hugh’s and Alana’s narratives are printed on the same pages, back to front to one another, such that when you are reading one, you have to turn the book upside down to read the other. Interspersed are handwritten notes by the their daughter Aila to her estranged brother Lance, a sort of literary intervention, and Aila curates the video installation. The book even includes a URL you can visit to watch some of Alana’s videos. “We

were discussing how we could get this book to spill out of its cover even more,” Lance says of the project’s genesis. “The way you would lose yourself in a novel and just inhabit that world—we wanted to translate that into the gallery space,” Andi adds.

The nature of time and place, narrative and reality, as well as nature itself (a quote by Robert Smithson—“Nature is never finished”—introduces Alana’s section) are questioned, in the most profound sense. “Any time you start to narrate the past, you begin to fictionalize it,” Lance Olsen says. Chair of the board of directors at Fiction Collective 2, an experimental fiction publisher and the recipient of a Guggenheim, Fulbright and a Pushcart Prize, the author is one of the foremost practitioners of experimental writing in the world.

“Q: Why is the Spiral Jetty so beautiful? A: Because it is in the perpetual process of misremembering itself,” reads a passage from Alana’s section of the book. It’s a key to understanding this entire convoluted project, as well as a hint at why the earthwork so fascinates her. The videos are to some degree populated with text, which is as misbegotten, misfigured and sometimes misspelled as it often is in this book.

This is a look at the fractal nature of space and time through the prisms of these characters.

The labyrinth of the Spiral Jetty also provides a fundamental symbol in the book. “The labyrinth is a way of being in the world,” Lance explains, “that we’re always moving among the fields of data, trying to figure out what’s significant and what’s not. The labyrinth is a metaphor for contemporary lived experience, whether it’s on the web,

Lance Olsen’s There’s No Place Like Time listening to ‘fake news,’ or just trying to navigate our daily lives.” One other key to understanding is the catalog of the installation that you can pick up at the lecture. Lance notes, “a lot of people approach it as a kind of game, and try to figure out the rules.”

Given all this complexity, the lecture might be taken as a guide through a retrospective you can’t see, of this artist who is so obscure it’s difficult to tell if she ever existed.

For in the threshold between obscurity and renown, who’s to tell if there aren’t some highly significant artists whose work has vanished? It has been known to happen. Doesn’t a work of art create the artist in some ways, rather than the opposite? Inscribed in a work such as this, the Spiral Jetty itself permeates as well as punctuates, starts to appear like a gyrating, unremitting question mark. CW

THERE’S NO PLACE LIKE TIME: A NOVEL YOU CAN WALK THROUGH

Utah Museum of Fine Arts Dumke Auditorium 410 Campus Center Drive 801-581-7332 Tuesday, Jan. 31 7 p.m. free umfa.utah.edu

moreESSENTIALS

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PERFORMANCE

THEATER

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JANUARY 26, 2017 | 21

Osmond & Chapman Orchestra SCERA Center, 745 S. State, Orem, 801-225-2787, Jan. 28, 7 p.m., scera.org/events

CLASSICAL & SYMPHONY

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Bus Stop CenterPoint Legacy Theatre, 525 N. 400 West, Centerville, 801-298-1302, through Feb. 4, centerpointtheatre.org Cash on Delivery Hale Center Theater Orem, 225 W. 400 North, Orem, 801-226-8600, through Feb. 4, times vary, haletheater.org Five Women Wearing the Same Dress Beverley Center for the Arts, 195 W. Center, Cedar City, 435-586-7746, through Feb. 2, 7:30 p.m., days vary; matinee Feb. 4, 2 p.m., suu.edu/pva Indiana Bones: Raiders of the Wall Mart Desert Star Playhouse, 4861 S. State, Murray, 801-266-2600, through March 18, times vary, desertstar.biz Julius Caesar Bullen Center, 43 S. Main, Logan, 435-752-0026, through Jan. 27, 7 p.m.; Jan. 28, 2 p.m., cachearts.org La Bohème Westminster College Gore Concert Hall, 1840 S. 1300 East, Jan. 26 & 28, 7:30 p.m., westminstercollege.edu (see p. 18) The Laramie Project Beverley Center for the Arts, 195 W. Center, Cedar City, 435-586-7746, Jan. 26 & 30, Feb. 3-4, 7:30 p.m.; matinee Jan. 28, 2 p.m., suu.edu/pva Live Museum Theater Natural History Museum of Utah, 301 Wakara Way, Salt Lake City, 801-581-6927, through April 15, 11 a.m.-4 p.m., nhmu.utah.edu The Magic Show Utah Children’s Theatre, 3605 South State, 801-532-6000, through Feb. 25, times vary, uctheatre.org Man of La Mancha Utah Opera, Capitol Theatre, 50 W. 200 South, 801-355-2787, Jan. 25 & 27, 7:30 p.m.; Jan. 29, 2 p.m., $21-$110, utahopera.org The Marvelous Wonderettes Beverly’s Terrace

Plaza Playhouse, 99 E. 4700 South, Washington Terrace, 801-393-0700, through Feb. 11, Monday, Friday & Saturday, 7:30 p.m., terraceplayhouse.com Mary Poppins de Jong Concert Hall, Brigham Young University, Campus & Heritage Drive, Provo, 801-422-2981, Jan. 26-28 & Jan. 31-Feb. 4, 7:30 p.m.; Saturday matinees, 2 p.m., arts.byu.edu/event The Nerd Hale Centre Theatre, 3333 S. Decker Lake Drive, West Valley, 801-984-9000, MondaySaturday, times vary, through Feb. 4, hct.org Oliver! Heritage Center Theater, 105 N. 100 East, Cedar City, 435-865-2896, Jan. 27-Feb. 6, 7:30 p.m.; Feb. 4 matinee, 2 p.m., heritagectr.org One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest Noorda Theatre, 800 W. University Parkway, Orem, 801-863-7529, through Jan. 28, 7:30 p.m.; Jan. 28 matinee, 2 p.m., uvu.edu/arts Peter and the Starcatcher Heritage Theatre, 2505 S. Highway 89, Perry, 435-723-8392, through Jan. 30; matinee Jan. 28, heritagetheatreutah.com Play-by-Play Utah Museum of Fine Arts, 410 Campus Center Drive, 801-581-7332, Jan. 27-28, 7:30 p.m.; Jan. 28, 2 p.m., pioneertheatre.org Poor Bastard CUAC, 175 E. 200 South, 801574-9959, Jan. 27-28, 7:30 p.m., riotacttheatre.tumblr.com/current (see p. 18) You Can’t Take It With You CenterPoint Legacy Theatre, 525 N. 400 West, Centerville, 801-2981302, through Feb. 4, centerpointtheatre.org You’re a Good Man, Charlie Brown Ziegfeld Theater, 3934 Washington Blvd., Ogden, 855-911-2787, through Feb. 4, Friday-Saturday, 7:30 p.m., theziegfeldtheater.com

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Salt Lake City artist and teacher Jordan Brun presents his pop-culture inspired series of mixed-media works Garish at Salt Lake City Main Library Canteena (210 E. 400 South, Level 2, Salt Lake City, slcpl.org), through Feb. 10.

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22 | JANUARY 26, 2017

moreESSENTIALS Summer Arts Piano Competition Winners Concert Libby Gardner Hall, 1375 E. Presidents Circle, Salt Lake City, 877-425-1537, Jan. 28, 7:30 p.m., saltlakesymphony.org Utah Youth Philharmonic Orchestra Concert Tabernacle on Temple Square, 50 W. North Temple, Salt Lake City, 801-240-4872, Jan. 27, 7:30 p.m., uyoe.org

COMEDY & IMPROV

Heath Harmison Wiseguys, 269 25 St., Ogden, 801-622-5588, Jan. 27-28, 8 p.m., wiseguyscomedy.com Jeff Dye Wiseguys, 194 S. 400 West, Salt Lake City, 801-532-5233, Jan. 26, 7:30 p.m.; Jan. 27-28, 7 & 9:30 p.m., wiseguyscomedy.com Kathy Griffin Eccles Theater, 131 S. Main, 801355-2787, Jan. 27, 8 p.m., live-at-the-eccles.com (see p. 18)

LITERATURE AUTHOR APPEARANCES

Tung-Hui Hu Finch Lane Gallery, 1340 E. 100 South, Salt Lake City, 801-596-5000, Jan. 26, 7 p.m., saltlakearts.org/program

SPECIAL EVENTS FARMERS MARKETS

Winter Market Rio Grande Depot, 300 S. Rio Grande St., Salt Lake City, through April 22, Saturdays, 10 a.m.-2 p.m., slcfarmersmarket.org

COMPLETE LISTINGS ONLINE @ CITYWEEKLY.NET

FESTIVALS & FAIRS

Sundance Film Festival Various venues in Park City, Salt Lake City and Sundance Resort, through Jan. 29, sundance.org Superhero Saturday Thanksgiving Point, 3003 N. Thanksgiving Way, Lehi, 801-768-2300, Jan. 28, 10 a.m., thanksgivingpoint.org

TALKS & LECTURES

Denton Bramwell: Align and engage people with one simple change Church & State, 370 S. 300 East, Salt Lake City, 801-901-0459, Jan. 26, 5:45-7:45 p.m., cs1893.com Gary Hamel: Hack My Org Vieve Auditorium, Westminster College, 801-832-2610, Jan. 26, 6 p.m., westminstercollege.edu National Geographic’s Mike Libecki Our Lady of the Snows Center, 10189 E. State Highway 210, Alta, 801-742-2889, Jan. 26, 6:30-9 p.m., altaarts.org/events Werner Herzog: Lo & Behold Orem Public Library, 58 N. State, Orem, 801-229-7050, Jan. 27, 6:30-8:30 p.m., lib.orem.org Larry Gerlach Marriott Library, 295 S. 1500 East, Salt Lake City, 801-581-3421, Jan. 29, 3-4 p.m., lib.utah.edu Winter Camping Basics REI, 230 W. 10600 South, Sandy, 801-501-0850, Jan. 30, 6:30-8 p.m., rei.com Arden Pope: Pollution & Health Shepherd Union Wildcat Theater, 3910 W. Campus Drive, Ogden, 801-626-8044, Jan. 31, noon, calendar.weber.edu/mastercalendar Science Night Live: The Spin Behind Modern Electronics Keys on Main, 242 S. Main, 801-3633638, Feb. 1, 5:30 p.m., science.utah.edu

VISUAL ART GALLERIES & MUSEUMS

Amy Caron: Angel Series Corinne & Jack Sweet Library, 455 F St., 801-594-8651, through Feb. 25, slcpl.org Andy White Red Butte Garden, 300 Wakara Way, 801-585-0556, through Feb. 21, redbuttegarden.org/andy-white Be It Ever So Humble ... Utah Cultural Celebration Center, 1355 W. 3100 South, West Valley City, 801-965-5100, through March 1, culturalcelebration.org Christopher Boffoli: Food for Thought Kimball Art Center, 1401 Kearns Blvd., Park City, 435-649-8882, through March 19, kimballartcenter.org Benjamin Cook: Allure of the Mountains Chapman Library, 577 S. 900 West, 801-5948623, through Feb. 28, slcpl.org Bill Reed: Kinda Blue Art at the Main 210 E. 400 South, 801-363-4088, through Feb. 11, artatthemain.com Deborah Hake Brinckerhoff and Dan Toone Phillips Gallery, 444 E. 200 South, 801-3648284, through Feb. 10, phillips-gallery.com Ed Bateman Phillips Gallery Dibble Gallery, 444 E. 200 South, 801-364-8284, through Feb. 10, phillips-gallery.com En Plein Air: Levi Jackson and Adam Bateman Rio Gallery, 300 S. Rio Grande St., through March 10, heritage.utah.gov Erin D. Coleman: In the Distance from Here to My Heart Salt Lake City Main Library, 210 E. 400 South, 801-524-8200, through Feb. 24, slcpl.org/events The Future Isn’t What It Used to Be Street + Codec Gallery, Utah Museum of Contemporary Art,

20 S. West Temple, 801-328-4201, Jan. 27-May 13, free, utahmoca.org (see p. 18) Garish Salt Lake City Main Library Canteena, 210 E. 400 South, Level 2, Salt Lake City, through Feb. 10, slcpl.org (see p. 21) H. James Stewart: The Wall Finch Lane Gallery, 54 Finch Lane, 801-596-5000, through Feb. 24, saltlakearts.org Home!/?: Paintings of Life in Foster Care Art Access Gallery, 230 S. 500 West, Ste. 125, 801328-0703, through Feb. 10, accessart.org Howard Brough Finch Lane Gallery, 54 Finch Lane, 801-596-5000, through Feb. 24, saltlakearts.org John Sproul Finch Lane Gallery, 54 Finch Lane, 801-596-5000, through Feb. 24, saltlakearts.org Jordan Brun: Garish Salt Lake City Main Library, Level 2, 210 E. 400 South, 801-5248200, through Feb. 10, slcpl.org Kay Miner Red Butte Garden, 300 Wakara Way, Salt Lake City, 801-585-0556, through Feb. 26, redbuttegarden.org/kay-miner Nocona Burgess: The Legendary Plains Modern West Fine Art, 177 E. 200 South, 801355-3383, through Feb. 11, modernwestfineart.com Lindsay Daniels: Nepal Rises Sprague Library, 2131 S. 1100 East, Salt Lake City, 801-594-8640, through March 18, slcpl.org Micheal Jensen: Where is My Mind Salt Lake City Main Library, 210 E. 400 South, 801-594-8680, through March 3 except Sundays, slcpl.org/events Resiliency: SLC Ronald McDonald House Art Access Gallery, 230 S. 500 West, Ste. 125, 801328-0703, through Feb. 10, accessart.org There’s No Place Like Time: A Novel You Can Walk Through Utah Museum of Fine Arts Dumke Auditorium, 410 Campus Center Drive, 801-581-7332, Tuesday, Jan. 31, 7 p.m., free, umfa.utah.edu (see p. 20)

The Darin Caine Hellhound Express Sundance Performance: An evening of slide guitar and American Music

Thursday, January 26 7:30 PM to midnight beginning with two acoustic dinner sets and finishing the night with the band.

The church public house is at 628 Park Ave. next to The Downstairs Check Out “Mellow Peaches” on YouTube http://bit.ly/2jnB7zq

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JANUARY 26, 2017 | 23

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RESTAURANT REVIEW

Burn, Baby, Burn

DINE

It’s flame-on at Park City’s Firewood.

BY TED SCHEFFLER tscheffler@cityweekly.net @critic1 KATIE ELDRIDGE

M

aybe this is something that shouldn’t be said aloud, but each time I visit Park City’s new restaurant Firewood, I think: “I sure hope they have fire insurance and a really good firesuppression system.”

It’s the creation of chef/owner John Murcko and his family, who were intimately involved in gutting the former Cicero’s restaurant and bar space and building Firewood from the ground up. The gorgeous new Main Street addition features, not surprisingly, lots and lots of wood.

Murcko’s father designed the interior, and the father-son team even built the restaurant’s wooden tables by hand. It’s a warm, inviting space with a hot kitchen.

Its centerpiece—which can be viewed by guests via dining room-long insulated windows—is an extraordinarily expensive Grillworks Infierno 154. The multi-station wood-burning grill allows Firewood’s cooks to use different woods (cherry, apple, hickory, etc.) and various temperatures best-suited to the foods being prepared. The temperatures of the four grilling stations are controlled both by crankwheel-adjustable grill surfaces and via the temperamental art of adjusting the heat of burning woods. The first such grill was built by Grillworks for Tom Colicchio’s Beachcraft restaurant in Miami; I’m told there are only five like it in North America. The device is aptly named, since I discovered that it is indeed an inferno in the kitchen. The staff says simply, “You get used to it.”

If John Murcko’s name rings a bell, it should. He helped restauranteur Bill White build and open Grappa in Park City, and worked in various White restaurant kitchens there. Eventually, he moved over to The Farm before doing a stint as executive chef at Sun Valley Resort. When thinking about opening his own restaurant, Murcko went back to his roots and his lifelong love of a most primitive cooking method: open wood flame. At Firewood, he gets his wish; almost everything is cooked with flame.

Except for a sous vide device, I didn’t see another cooking source in the kitchen.

Even baking and braising are accomplished using wood-fired heat.

So, you might be surprised when you dine at Firewood that most dishes aren’t charred or crusty, as you might expect. The

scent of burning meats does not pervade the kitchen or restaurant. The cooking, as you’d expect in a fine dining establishment like this one, is subtle. It’s testament to the skillful staff that not a single item I tried—a couple dozen during multiple visits—was overcooked, much less burned.

I half-expected a sextet of grilled oysters ($19) to be tough and chewy.

Nope.

The oysters—topped with spinach pesto, wood-roasted bacon, beet-pickled shallot slices and finely shredded Parmigiano-Reggiano— were soft, silky and scrumptious. Likewise, a shareable starter of grilled pork belly ($16) with honey-wine apple vinegar and red pear/frisée salad was oh-so tender, juicy and flavorful. Murcko’s twist on the traditional Caesar salad ($15) is extraordinary. Romaine ribs are topped with a heavenly dressing, toasted pumpernickel crumbs in the place of croutons and shaved Parmigiano, served with two pieces of smoked hamachi. Look very close at the Caesar, and you’ll find nearly invisible pieces of salted egg yolk, microplaned onto the lettuce leaves, which imparts more flavor and texture than if the yolks had merely been incorporated into the dressing, as is traditional. Other top-flight starters include oak wood-roasted acorn squash; fire-braised wild mushrooms (royal trumpets, wood beach and chanterelles); delicious ember-roasted cauliflower salad with shishito pepper vinaigrette; and hay-roasted housemade burrata with “massaged” kale, green apple and cider vinaigrette.

Recently, I wrote about my policy not to review restaurants based on pre-opening events or “soft” opening. I also try not to review eateries before the paint on the walls is dry. Here’s why: On our first visit to Firewood—just the second night they were open to the public—service was sketchy.

It was friendly, but water glasses went unfilled and a large chunk of the service staff seemed to be wandering around, unsupervised and without direction—sub-par for an upscale and expensive restaurant like Firewood.

Fire-roasted chicken at Firewood Less than a month later, it was a nightand-day difference. Service couldn’t have been better, from bussers to our excellent waiter, Augustus Leon Harper, who was wooed back into service (he’s a real estate broker) by Murcko to help shore up the staff. As I told Harper, if I had 10 servers like him, I’d have the confidence to open my own restaurant.

The lightly browned, organic, airlinestyle chicken ($35) was plump and juicy, and reminded me of how flavorful the humble chicken can be. It was served on a plate of garlic-thyme-butter jus with puréed sweet potatoes, slightly charred Brussels sprouts and sprinkled with pomegranate seeds. A beautifully crusted Arctic char fillet ($36) rested on thick fire-roasted clam, cabbage and bacon sauce, adorned with gremolata and broccolini. The same gorgeous crust enhances the flavor of the knockout grilled diver sea scallops ($37), which come with a divine cauliflower-sunchoke-tarragon sauce.

As with pretty much everything else, the desserts seem to punch above their weight class. Pastry chef Aimee Altizer is a wizard with wood-fired cooking. Her simplebut-stupendous wood-roasted apple with winter-spice mulled fruit, housemade almond gelato and Slide Ridge honeycomb ($12) was remarkable. Ditto her pot du crème made with Ecuadorian cacao Solstice Chocolate and an unforgettable chesnut-honey crème brûlée with Amano chocolate and preserved cherries.

Without even detailing the inviting and unique Nickel Bar downstairs, or the excellent wine, beer and cocktail selection, I am happy to report that John Murcko is back, and that Firewood is crackling. CW

FIREWOOD

306 Main, Park City 435-252-9900 firewoodonmain.com

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JANUARY 26, 2017 | 25

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Stay warm with your friends at

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6001 S. State St. Murray | 801-263-8889

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BY TED SCHEFFLER @critic1

A Judd’s Hill Thrill

You know how our food makes you feel...

Come Often!!!

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FOOD MATTERS

One of the most talented people I know is Judd Finkelstein (pictured), proprietor of Judd’s Hill Winery in Napa.

Not only is he a savvy and creative winemaker, but he’s also a killer ukulele player and a founding member of the fabulous Maikai Gents, who delight audiences with the sounds of old time Hawaii. Chances are good that Finkelstein will have his uke in tow on Wednesday, Feb. 1, when he and Meditrina (165 W. 900 South, 801-485-2055, meditrinaslc. com) host an exclusive wine dinner featuring Judd’s Hill wines. Pairings for the evening include Judd’s Hill sauvignon blanc with housemade ricotta, Meyer lemon and blood orange gelée, micro cilantro, lavash, smoked Utah trout, cucumber cup, red onion-dill pico de gallo and buttermilk dressing; and Judd’s Hill rosé and deconstructed blue-cheese cake with pickled beets, frizzled prosciutto, baby greens and honey-thyme vinaigrette. Guests can also experience Judd’s Hill GSM and cabernet sauvignon (side by side) with an entrée of pink peppercorn and five-spice dusted pork tenderloin, Chinese broccoli, cauliflower potato purée and apple balsamic.

And for dessert, there’s spiced pineapple tart with Chantilly cream and Judd’s Hill Tardy Harvest Roussanne. Food is $35 and wine is $25, plus tax and gratuity. Call the restaurant for reservations.

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2005 E. 2700 SOUTH, SLC Best of Utah FELDMANSDELI.COM 2015 FELDMANSDELI OPEN TUES - SAT TO GO ORDERS: (801) 906-0369

V-Day Pop-Up

If you’re looking for a unique one-off dining experience for Valentine’s Day, Culinary Crafts has your back. On Tuesday, Feb. 14, CC will create a romantic one-night pop-up restaurant at The Tasting Room (357 W. 200 South, 801-906-8294). The $135 plus tax perperson price includes a lavish six-course menu of butler-passed hors d’oeuvres; an amuse of oysters “Rocafella;” housemade breads and butters; roasted cauliflower salad; scallops with chestnut sauce and risotto; and pork medallions with roasted Brussels sprouts, drizzled with fig and port wine reduction. Also on board is an intermezzo of blood orange sorbet; a honey and salt tasting experience; chocolate fondue for two; Publik coffee and more. Guests are invited to bring their own wine; there is no corkage charge, and glassware is provided. To purchase tickets, visit culinarycrafts.com/shop.

Award Winning Donuts

Quote of the week: “When the average American says, ‘I’m starving,’ it is a prelude to a midnight raid on a well-stocked refrigerator or a sudden trip to the nearest fastfood restaurant.”

—Carolyn Custis James Food Matters 411: tscheffler@cityweekly.net

705 S. 700 E. | (801) 537-1433

BEER, WINE & SPIRITS

Where There’s Smoke …

Smoky and oaky sips.

BY TED SCHEFFLER tscheffler@cityweekly.net @critic1

R

4160 EMIGRATION CANYON ROAD 801 582-5807 | WWW.RUTHSDINER.COM

JANUARY 26, 2017 | 27

-Creekside Patio -87 Years and Going Strong -Breakfast served daily until 4pm -Delicious Mimosas & Bloody Marys -Gift Cards for sale in diner or online

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BRING THE FAMILY UP EMIGRATION CANYON THIS WINTER

Serving American Comfort Food Since 1930

However, a first-rate brands such as Wahaka Mezcal Joven Espadin ($31.99) offer fruity flavors followed by smoke and black pepper. It’s a delicious mezcal worthy of sipping all alone, just like a fine Scotch whisky.

Woody flavors in white wine can most often be traced to oak. If you’ll permit me a bit of chemistry: phenols in oak barrels interact with wine to produce vanilla flavors, along with cream, spice, caramel and smoke. There’s also a new trend where some renegade winemakers are employing used American whiskey barrels—which are charred on the inside to take the harshness out of raw whiskey—to age wine. By contrast, wine barrels are usually toasted to add the flavors mentioned previously (vanilla, cream, etc.). I think it goes without saying that wine aged in charred whiskey barrels are likely to be smoke bombs.

CW

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AS SEEN ON “ DINERS, DRIVE-INS AND DIVES”

smoke include toasted wine barrels, but also sometimes the soil itself. Oak-aged red wines often have what wine writers refer to as a “smoky-sweet finish.” It should be a good thing: subtle and not overpowering.

Certain spirits can taste and smell smoky, as well. Peat that is dried and smoked imparts the smoke flavors that connoisseurs love in their Scotch whiskies. Think Laphroaig 10 Year Islay Single Malt Scotch Whisky ($49.99), which offers sweet peat smoke in unison with the briny sea air of Islay.

Mexican mezcal, too, is typically quite smoky.

It’s made by cooking the piñas (hearts) of agave plants for around three days in pits heated with hot rocks.

It’s that underground roasting that lends the smoky flavors. Cheap mezcal often tastes overwhelmingly smoky and out of balance.

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

ecently, a friend of mine asked if I’d ever tried a “smoky” wine. He recounted ordering a bottle of zinfandel in a restaurant and said he was “tormented as to whether or not I was drinking smoke or wine.” The wine in question was California’s Predator Zinfandel Old Vine ($15.98), produced in Lodi. The answer is yes, I have tried smoky wines, along with smoky spirits. One of the former I’ve tasted (and enjoyed) is the aforementioned Predator Zinfandel.

As with most things in life, smoke and oak in wines and other beverages ought to be used judiciously and in moderation.

There’s nothing wrong with smoky flavors and aromas—often called “cigar box” or “tobacco”—but if it tastes like someone dumped a tablespoon of Liquid Smoke

into your glass, that’s clearly a wine that is heavy-handed and unbalanced.

On the other hand, there are libations that are intended to be subtly smoky, “subtle” being the operative term. For example, pinotage from South Africa is a somewhat acquired taste for many. It often has smoky, gamey flavors that lots of folks describe as bacon-like. Not surprisingly, these and other smoky wines tend to pair well with grilled, barbecued and smoked meats and fish.

Smoke is also a characteristic of many sought-after syrah-based wines from the Northern Rhône Valley in France. It’s a typical component of red wines like Crozes, Côte-Rôtie, Cornas, Hermitage, CrozesHermitage and the like. The same is true of some Australian shiraz. One of my favorite smoky Aussie treats is d’Arenberg McLaren Vale Footbolt Shiraz ($14.95). Other smoky and cigar box wines I’ve enjoyed include Italian Nebbiolos and Barolos, some Spanish reds from Rioja and Argentine malbec.

However, if you’re finding smoke in varietals like cabernet sauvignon or pinot noir, it’s probably due to spoilage from Brettanomyces (“Brett”) yeast.

Certain grapes, like pinotage and syrah/ shiraz, tend to become smoky naturally with age. But toasted and oaky wine barrels used for aging also contribute to accompanying flavors in wine. Sources of

DRINK

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G

REVIEW BITES

TED SCHEFFLER

TO THE GR EE

K!

Food You Will LOVE

E

E TM

A sampler of Ted Scheffler’s reviews

Breakfast

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There is nary a trace left—besides the remodeled bar—of Faustina; the owners literally raised the roof and created a gorgeous, sprawling eatery with warm, contemporary décor, fire pit, patio seating and more. The crudo ti tonno appetizer is exquisite—a round of minced raw yellowtail and red pepper, topped with fresh fennel fronds and served with a spicy fennel-apple agrodolce and house-baked cinnamon-spiked semolina crackers. The superb salads aren’t an afterthought; their Caesar is one of the best in town, and the beet salad with goat cheese, chicories, candied almonds and white balsamic was delicious even to a beet naysayer like me. There are usually 10 or so dishes on the menu featuring fresh, housemade pasta. I think the rich, meaty veal-and-pork casarecce alla Bolognese is second to none—a hearty and satisfying winter dish. Any time of year—but especially in cold weather—cioppino is a good call. Stanza’s consists of fish, potatoes, shrimp, mussels and calamari in a picante tomato broth. For dessert, enjoy a scoop of the excellent housemade gelato and a glass of sweet, spicy Vin Santo. Reviewed Jan. 12. 454 E. 300 South, 801-746-4441, stanzaslc.com

GOODEATS

Greek Souvlaki

A perennial City Weekly Best of Utah award winner, Greek Souvlaki has known how to create a lasting following long before the inception of the prestigious award. The doors to the first Greek Souvlaki were opened in 1972 by Lee and Mary Paulos and served just three items: gyros, souvlaki and beefteki. The business has since expanded to five locations and has stayed true to the Paulos’ vision of serving high-quality Greek cuisine to the Salt Lake community. Multiple locations, greeksouvlaki.com

Complete listings at cityweekly.net Myung Ga

This eatery takes Korean barbecue to another level with their sizzling and hefty portions of beef, chicken and pork. Along with the barbecue options, they also dish up insanely good dumplings; soups filled to the brim with scallops, shrimp and other seafood; and a cucumber kimchi that is out of this world. Myung Ga is capable of dishing up a quick meal for a lunch break or an extensive, authentic Korean meal for a pleasing dinner. 3353 S. Decker Lake Drive, West Valley City, 801-953-0478

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FILM REVIEW

Minor Miner

CINEMA

Gold never shakes free from its too-familiar story idea.

BY MARYANN JOHANSON comments@cityweekly.net @maryannjohanson

D

Edgar Ramírez, Matthew McConaughey and Bryce Dallas Howard in Gold. the little bit of meat that Gold has: its mild condemnation of the house of cards that is high finance (investment in the Indonesian mine is out of control long before a single ounce of gold is ever brought out of the ground), of the corruption and collusion among governments and corporations (oh, the things Wells has to do to convince the Indonesians to let them keep digging!).

Gold seems to imply, for a little while, that it’s a bad thing that everyone here seems to think that as long as they’re all getting rich, nothing else matters—not even reality, like having an actual lump of gold to hold in your hand. But the movie ends up seeming to condone such attitudes, without even realizing that it’s doing that. Wells might be bursting with purpose, but Gold certainly isn’t. CW

GOLD

| CITY WEEKLY |

BB.5 Matthew McConaughey Edgar Ramírez Bryce Dallas Howard Rated R

TRY THESE The Wolf of Wall Street (2013) Leonardo DiCaprio Jonah Hill Rated R

Dallas Buyers Club (2013) Matthew McConaughey Jared Leto Rated R

The Big Short (2015) Ryan Gosling Steve Carell Rated R

JANUARY 26, 2017 | 29

Syriana (2005) George Clooney Matt Damon Rated R

| MUSIC | CINEMA | DINING | A&E | NEWS |

comic scenes of near nudity.

Wells is “a drunk, a clown” who latches on to geologist Michael Acosta (Edgar Ramírez) and his awesome intuition about where gold might be found in a remote valley in Indonesia. This allows director Stephen Gaghan (in his first feature since 2005’s Syriana) to stage a couple of nice shots that look like something out of Raiders of the Lost Ark, with dudes in Indiana Jones-ish hats gazing out over the jungle. But this is not a treasure-hunt adventure. Soon investors from Wall Street in their sleek suits are desperate to invest in what looks like the “largest gold mine of the decade” (and, later, the largest one “ever”), but Wells is stubborn and wants to maintain control of his find.

Except, it’s not really Wells’ find; it’s Acosta’s, and for a long while I wondered why Gold wasn’t Acosta’s story. And if it had been Acosta’s story, it would have automatically smashed many of the clichés that bring Gold down. As is, we’re meant to identify with Wells’ refusal to bow down to the big boys with their corporate might, and his tenacity in sticking with his “dream.”

But in spite of McConaughey’s entertaining gusto for the character, Wells simply isn’t very interesting.

Wells is ultimately rather contemptible for reasons that—no spoilers—undermine

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

o you enjoy watching men get excited about making lots of money?

Then I have got a movie for you!

Come on down to Gold! If you kinda liked The Big Short and The Wolf of Wall Street but found them a bit too pretentious with their “satire” and “relevance,” then Gold is just the thing. There’s nothing fancypants here … just underpants, like a potbellied Matthew McConaughey prancing around in tighty-whities. Fun for the whole family!

Well, maybe don’t bring the kids to Gold: They’ll be bored with all the three-piece high-finance shenanigans, and there’s tons of naughty language flying around. But this ain’t a terrible excuse for entertainment for the grown-ups—just very, very familiar.

Men and money, the struggle and the hustle. Trying to screw new women when the ones who stuck by ’em when they were poor are no longer stimulating enough. Thinking they did it all on their own and pushing away the people who supported them— or who actually did all the work—and got none of the kudos. How familiar is this? We just saw the same basic story in December’s The Founder.

Gold represents a whole bunch of paradigms that desperately require a shift—not just in Hollywood but in the real world—which are jumbled together here because this story is “inspired by true events.” The movie is based on a 1990s situation involving Canadian company Bre-X Minerals, but if you don’t already know about that, don’t spoil the movie for yourself by Googling it. Suffice it to say, reality was altered enough by screenwriters Patrick Massett and John Zinman that they could’ve altered it a smidge more and have it not be quite so clichéd. The Canadian company has become Washoe Mining of Reno, Nev., headed up by Kenny Wells.

Wells is Matthew McConaughey in what we now must deem his full-on gimmean-Oscar mode: not smooth or suave but sweaty and blowzy and faux bald, suffering from a deplorable excess of personality, showing off all the weight he gained in

CINEMA CLIPS

MOVIE TIMES AND LOCATIONS AT CITYWEEKLY.NET

NEW THIS WEEK Information is correct at press time. Film release schedules are subject to change.

A DOG’S PURPOSE [not yet reviewed] A canine is reincarnated multiple times to help human owners.

Opens Jan. 27 at theaters valleywide. (PG) GOLD BB.5 See review p. 29. Opens Jan. 27 at theaters valleywide. (R) RESIDENT EVIL: THE FINAL CHAPTER [not yet reviewed] Alice (Milla Jovovich) once again tries to save humanity from the zombie apocalypse. Opens Jan. 27 at theaters valleywide. (R)

SPECIAL SCREENINGS BEVERLY HILLS COP At Brewvies, Jan. 30, 10 p.m. (R)

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

KUMIKO, THE TREASURE HUNTER At University of Utah Post Theater, Feb. 1, 7 p.m. (NR) SCREENAGERS At Main Library, Jan. 31, 7 p.m. (NR) SLAMDANCE FILM FESTIVAL At Treasure Mountain Inn, Park City, Jan. 20-28.

| NEWS | A&E | DINING | CINEMA | MUSIC |

SUNDANCE FILM FESTIVAL At venues in Park City, Salt Lake City and Sundance Resort, Jan. 19-31.

CURRENT RELEASES 20TH CENTURY WOMEN BBB Writer/director Mike Mills’ warm, compassionate dramedy takes a unique approach to the generation gap, built on a character doing her best to bridge it. Annette Bening plays Dorothea, a 55-year-old single mother in 1979 Santa Barbara who turns to two younger women—her boarder (Greta Gerwig) and a teenage neighbor (Elle Fanning)—to help provide guidance for her 15-year-old son, Jamie (Lucas Jade Zumann). Mills navigates through all these characters deftly and with evident affection,

THE BYE BYE MAN If it feels familiar, that’s because you’ve seen movies before and your brain is capable of forming memories. Congratulations: You’re more advanced than the people who made this movie.

College sweethearts Elliot (Douglas Smith) and Sasha (Cressida Bonas) move into a giant old house, with Elliot’s best friend (Lucien Laviscount) along to help with rent. A spooky table in the basement has “Don’t think it, don’t say it” scrawled on it, referring to the title boogeyman, who’s empowered by being thought about. The three have hallucinations that inspire jealousy and rage; visions of things that aren’t there and wouldn’t be scary if they were, are, by definition, not scary. Throw in a psychic, a research trip to the library, and a visit to an old woman who remembers the past and you’ve got yourself a generic, pointless, thrill-less horror movie. (PG-13)—Eric D. Snider THE FOUNDER BB John Lee Hancock’s biography of McDonald’s king Ray Kroc (Michael Keaton) eventually turns into a Steve Jobs-style “portrait of the visionary as an asshole”—and if it had committed to that point of view earlier, it might not have felt so tedious.

It opens with Kroc as a down-on-his-luck traveling salesman in 1954, when he discovers a California burger restaurant with a concept Kroc is convinced he can turn into gold. Keaton commits fully to Kroc’s relentless old-school salesmanship, but the plot moves far too sluggishly through various business details, no matter how pivotal they might ultimately have been in McDonald’s history, and waiting far too long to focus on Kroc’s emergence as corporate cutthroat. The shift comes out of nowhere, and whatever metaphor for the American Dream The Founder might be trying to offer gets lost in the minutiae.

(PG-13)—SR LIVE BY NIGHT BB.5 Ben Affleck wrote, adapted Dennis Lehane’s novel and stars as Joe Coughlin, a small-time criminal in Prohibition-era Boston who gets caught up in a war between Irish and Italian gangs, eventually becoming boss of a Florida-based rum-running operation. While Affleck paints a vivid picture of multiethnic 1930s Tampa, the period piece gets away from him as he tries

to create characters who don’t seem like a collection of speeches about life and love, like “You make your own luck.” “Sometimes.

Sometimes it makes you.” Or “It’s not enough to break the rules; you have to be strong enough to make your own.” Or an extended chess metaphor that even Joe and the woman he’s flirting with (Zoe Saldana) get lost in. Familiar gangster-movie scenarios need more specificity than a script that could be cut up and inserted into fortune cookies. (R)—SR

SPLIT BB.5 The legacy of “The Twist” continues to follow M. Night Shyamalan, ignoring the reality that he was always a better director than he was a writer. He begins with a premise that sets off “problematic” alarms: a man with dissociative identity disorder (James McAvoy) abducts three teens (Anya TaylorJoy, Haley Lu Richardson and Jessica Sula) for a mysterious but clearly dark purpose. McAvoy dives into his multiplepersonalities role with relish, and Shyamalan is aces at the kind of tense, cross-cutting climax that has him weaving between four or five different locations. The story, sadly, tries to build a tragic back-story for Taylor-Joy’s character, and every attempt at creating well-rounded characters falls flat. Shyamalan would do well to trust his skills behind the camera, and not try to over-think a booga-booga genre piece about a guy with multiple personalities. (PG-13)—SR

XXX: THE RETURN OF XANDER CAGE BB A madman is transforming satellites into guided missiles, and the only thing that can stop him is Vin Diesel’s colossal sense of self-regard. Oh, and his ridiculous Yeti-fur coat. Never forget the coat. The Big Guy’s peculiar charms remain mostly intact, but this way-delayed sequel doesn’t do him many favors, pitting him and and the multicultural asskicking supporting cast—Donnie Yen! Ruby Rose! Ong Bak’s Tony Freaking Jaa!—against some needlessly frenzied editing and what might be some of the worst dialog that has ever been unleashed on a multiplex. (Toni Collette’s brief little moue of regret after delivering each of her lines might be worth a matinee, frankly.) And, yet, somehow, the damn dumb thing still actually kind of works, particularly during a final zero-G plane sequence that gleefully flips physics the bird, and then tosses in killer robot fists, to boot. If you thought the Fast and Furious series was too refined and nuanced, this could very well be your jam. (PG-13)— Andrew Wright

more than just movies at brewvies

| CITY WEEKLY |

30 | JANUARY 26, 2017

though he’s not always effective at shaping the many episodes into a cohesive narrative, and punches a bit too hard on the historical setting. The center is strong, however, as Bening brings a lovely grace to Dorothea’s awkward progressivism. Portraits of a parent don’t get much more multilayered than this, in its respect for a woman willing to push herself into uncomfortable places. (R)—Scott Renshaw

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TRUE

BY B I L L F RO S T @bill_frost

Archie, Darkly

TV

Riverdale delivers twisted teen noir; iBoy installs a vigilante upgrade.

Riverdale Thursday, Jan. 26 (The CW)

Series Debut: It’s exactly what you think it is: Archie Comics given a dark ’n’ broody CW-teens makeover, like Twin Peaks meets Gossip Girl. Riverdale is also far better than most will probably give it credit for—a sharply written (though the first ep is exposition-heavy because kids today) and winkingly self-aware murder noir dressed-up in mutedclassic Archie couture that firmly states, “Yeah, we’re actually doing this, and we’re going hard.” The gang’s all here, including a ripped-but-sensitive Archie (K.J. Apa), a mysterious Jughead (Cole Sprouse), a jittery Betty (Lili Reinhart), a seductive Veronica (Camila Mendes) and an ambitious Pussycats-fronting Josie (Ashleigh Murray), and they all arrive as surprisingly fleshed-out characters.

Riverdale will be the first TV obsession of 2017; count on it.

iBoy Friday, Jan. 27 (Netflix)

Movie: Because AndroidBoy didn’t quite have the same ring to it, here’s iBoy: British teen Tom (Bill Milner) gets a Limitless-ish upgrade when an intended kill-shot from a gangster explodes his iPhone into his brain, essentially turning him into a human internet hotspot. Instead of using his new powers to dominate trivia night at the local pub, Tom becomes a Kick-Ass-style vigilante bent on taking down the baddies who shot him and assaulted his friend Lucy (Maisie Williams). Whereas Black Mirror would have twisted this into a bummer treatise on connected tech, iBoy cranks the tension and action to 11, never pausing to consider the deadly ramifications of future OS updates.

Dumb fun—just go with it.

To Tell the Truth Sundays (ABC)

New Season: Yes, ABC has had a rough season, launching only one semi-hit (Designated Survivor, aka Not the Mike Pence Story as Far as We Dare Hope) while canceling a pair of dogs (Conviction and Notorious—’member those?). But are schedule-fillers like Match Game and To Tell the Truth the

Do It Save It Forget It answer? Revivals of decades-dead game shows that were pure cheese even in their day? If so, I demand a reboot of the greatest game show of all time, 1974-75 landmark The Money Maze, wherein couples would race like rats through a shoddily constructed maze to push a cash-prize button at the end. Throw in celebrity couples (Kanye and Kim! Barack and Joe!) and a new host (Mitt Romney!), and make this happen, ABC!

The Bachelor Mondays (ABC)

New Season: As with the previous—what? 48?— seasons of The Bachelor, this column chose to ignore the Hot Tub STD Machine’s latest premiere. BUT! Along came Corinne, the most glorious trainwreck ever to (dis)grace the mansion.

A blonde time-bomb of sex, audacity, insecurity and sheer crazy who makes for great TV, Corinne stands out in this season’s bland, interchangeable pack of women by seemingly channeling Hailey, the oft-naked suitress of the classic Bachelor parody Burning Love (Hulu it). Bachelor Nick, a master of understatement if not styling gel, simply calls her “fun,” despite their every meeting being like an all-expenses-paid excursion to a strip club VIP room.

Sure, The Bachelor is still a terrible, terrible, terrible show with zero societal value … but, as performance art, I’m currently all-in for #MCGA (Make Corinne Great Again).

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Riverdale (The CW)

The 100 Wednesday, Feb. 1 (The CW)

Season Premiere: The 100, now entering its fourth(!) season, is a future-set sci-fi series about 100 pretty juvenile space delinquents exiled to Earth—since rendered “uninhabitable” by a nuclear apocalypse likely triggered by a 3 a.m. tweet—to survive and figure who to hook up with before one or the other gets killed (which happens often; they’re currently The 44). After three seasons of fighting off Grounders (meanies left behind on the planet back in the day), Mountain Men (ditto), a mind-controlling artificial intelligence (huh?) and split ends (everybody’s hair still looks fantastic), now the kids have to deal with residual planetary radiation (there goes the hair). As dystopian soap operas go, The 100 is smarter and more complex than most—check it out before it’s too late.

Listen to Frost Mondays at 8 a.m. on X96 Radio From Hell, and on the TV Tan podcast via Stitcher, iTunes, Google Play and billfrost.tv.

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| CITY WEEKLY |

GIGI LOVE

YOU CAN’T WIN, IF YOU DON’T PLAY

that Trump was denying climate change,” she says. While visiting New York City in November, Love was inspired by the artistic community in Washington Square Park. “There were artists, painters, musicians—all these people were doing shit in the middle of Washington Square. No one was intimidated.”

Bolstered by this artistic spirit, Love asked herself, “What would John Lennon do?” Of course the answer was to protest— but Love did it her way, donning a pink bikini and asking one of the artists in the park to turn her body into a living billboard for raising climate change awareness. Then, covered neck-to-ankle in blue, black and white paint and armed with only her acoustic guitar, Love defiantly headed up the street to Trump Tower. Amid spectators, passers-by, photographers and a contingent of riot police, she stood before its golden doors, singing and calling on The Donald to recognize the realities about our endangered planet.

How Love avoided a righteous, jackbooted beat-down is anyone’s guess. Well, OK—she took a cue from the Book of Donald and lied. “We made it through three levels of riot police,” she says. “All I did was told them that I was going to Gucci, and they had to let me pass. I played for about a half-hour before the cops kicked me out of there.” CW

M O N DAYS

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The inimitable Gigi Love

WASATCH POKER TOUR @ 8PM BONUS: SAT @ 2PM

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tah is filled with vast expanses of beautiful land, some of which has been deemed culturally important enough for the federal government to apply national park designations on them. Despite the state’s important role in the U.S. National Park Service, it’s also home to Rep. Rob Bishop, one of the park service’s most vehement opponents. This apparent juxtaposition makes it all the more poetic that a Moab-based singer/songwriter like Gigi Love would dedicate her most recent album to our country’s national parks—and take that dedication straight to Trump Tower’s front stoop.

After creating an impressive discography that began with 2001’s stark and vulnerable Coyote Bones (LoveCha), Love decided to tackle something more ambitious. “I was getting really frustrated with my songwriting,” she says. “I felt like I kept writing about the same issues.” On a trip to Yosemite National Park, Love happened upon a rock climber who offered to sell her his mandolin for gas money.

She took him up on the deal, and used the serendipitous occasion to pen a song about her Sierra Nevada surroundings. “The song for Yosemite came really easily. Then I had this idea that I should visit all the national parks and do a character study about each park,” she says.

“Yosemite Gold” became the first of 12 songs that comprise National Parks Centennial Songs (GigiLove.com), which came out last month—on the tail end of the 100th anniversary of the National Park Service. In every sense of the term, this album is a true labor of love. The songwriter visited parks throughout the country—from Yellowstone to Acadia—and created songs that captured the experience. “I’d go to each park and backpack, river raft or go horseback riding,” she says. “I would go to the visitor center and learn everything I could about the park, and I would even talk to the park volunteers and ask them what they would like to hear in a song about their park.”

The result is an audio cross-country road trip with Love’s earnest, golden voice behind the wheel. “Blueberry Kisses in Acadia” is a subdued folk gem; “Coast Starlight to Crater Lake” channels Jimmy Buffett’s laid back beach rock into a sunny travelogue; and “Pele’s Fire” is a ukulele-centric trip to the Hawaiian Islands. “I did want to gear my songwriting to a broad range of people,” Love says. “I want people to pop it in and get something very American and grassroots that they can hold on to.”

Part of the impetus to become the musical representative of the national parks came from an unexpected opportunity to become Amtrak’s first Trails and Rails Troubadour. The Trails and Rails program is a partnership between Amtrak and the National Park Service to provide travel routes that focus on the country’s national parks. When the program’s director Jim Miculka happened to see Love performing at the Bright Angel Lodge in the Grand Canyon, he asked if she’d be interested in performing on the routes. “My husband and I had the next few weeks free, and we accepted. We ended up going on the train from L.A. to Portland on the Coast Starlight, where I sang three times a day,” she recalls.

Because of the close relationship she forged with our national parks, Love found herself wanting to do more to raise awareness for the trouble they’re facing. “I got really fired up when I heard

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State of the Black

On the mystery of Norway’s most notorious black metal band, Mayhem.

BY RANDY HARWARD rharward@cityweekly.net

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f email interviews were a game, I’d be kicking Attila Csihar’s ass by a score of 562-124 words. Not that you should expect most black metal musicians—who trade on a certain austerity—to be chatty. Especially when that band is Mayhem, Norway’s notoriously murderous, (ostensibly) cannibalistic, arsonistic, trophykeepin’ musical combo.

Mayhem is the band your parents, preachers and the PMRC should have warned you about when they were preoccupied with Kiss, Zappa and 2 Live Crew. Their original lineup included singer Per Ohlin, guitarist Øystein Aarseth, bassist Jørn Stubberud and drummer Jan Blomberg, known, respectively, as Dead, Euronymous, Necrobutcher and Hellhammer. In addition to playing some of the speediest, shriek-iest metal around, Mayhem also lived up to its name, taking the Satanic aesthetic and ideology seriously.

That’s kinda how Dead got dead. That’s kinda how Euronymous got dead. “Kinda” because Satanism is only the philosophical excuse covering up for general depression and narcissistic jackass-ery.

Dead’s suicide note said—besides “excuse all the blood”—that he intended a melodramatic end in a forest, slowly bleeding out from self-inflicted wounds made by a dull knife and, if that didn’t work—shotgun in the house. Plan B proved necessary, which led to Euronymous discovering and photographing Dead’s body, calling Necrobutcher with the “really cool” news, claiming (falsely) to stew and consume some of the grey matter and (verifiably) getting crafty by making necklaces for his friends from skull fragments.

That was in 1991. In 1993, new bass player (replacing the grieving Necrobutcher) Varg “Count Grishnackh” Vikernes, a prolific church-burner, stabbed Euronymous 23 times, leading to a 21-year prison sentence that ended four years early in 2009.

In metal, there’s nothing worse than a poser, right? Nah. Heavy metal’s hallowed halls are lined with photos of “more metal than thou” dudes who were all show and no grow. Black metal originally seemed to have higher standards, until the evil shtick got in the way of real-world concerns like eating non-brain food, staying out of prison and breathing. But if you’re Mayhem, what do you do?

Before Euronymous became the stone to Grishnackh’s sword (rumor: the knife got stuck in his skull), he and the new

Ghul, Necrobutcher, Hellhammer, Attila and Teloch lineup—with Csihar on vocals—recorded Mayhem’s first fulllength album, De Mysteriis Dom Sathanas (About the Mystery of the Lord Satan). Afterward, Necrobutcher and Hellhammer finished the record. It’s a black metal classic, a blueprint for extremity in a genre where it’s paramount, and also because it features lyrics by Dead, guitar by Euronymous (the victim) and bass by Grishnackh (his murderer). That’s metal.

But Mayhem, what with all that drama, was dead—until Hellhammer resurrected the band in 1995. Subsequent albums found them messing with their sound, looking for and finding extremity beyond Beelzebub and denying they were actually Satanists while retaining some of the devilish imagery. Mayhem carved out a career, and remains atop the heap as one of black metal’s most successful acts.

Black metal itself has come to encompass Satanism, paganism, right-wing politics, warfare and individualism. Hell, there’s even Christian black metal. And musically, the genre has split into derivations like ambient, symphonic, blackened and blackgaze (as performed by Alcest, who play the Metro on Tuesday night). And the bands aren’t nearly as scary. Today, Mayhem is touring behind a live re-recording of De Mysteriis, performing the album nightly— a welcome, but positively normal thing to do.

Which, if you’re Mayhem, must feel about right. That could be why (aside from English being his second language) Attila’s end of the interview—in which I attempted to draw parallels between the mysteries of the world, devils red and orange, the music industry and Mayhem’s past and present—was what it was. And that’s boring (“We got approached by a promoter from Sweden,” Attila says), breathless (“We wanted to share that night’s magical atmosphere”), fragmented (“Poor Aleppo. Mind controlled and misleaded. Mad house!”), monosyllabic (“Push”) and trite but true (“To me, our music is supreme itself. I don’t like too much ideologies around it”).

Fair enough. Let’s call it a draw. CW

MAYHEM

w/ Inquisition, Black Anvil Saturday, Jan. 28, 7 p.m. (doors) The Complex 536 S. 100 West 801-528-9197 $25 in advance/$30 day of show 21+ thecomplexslc.com

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| CITY WEEKLY |

JANUARY 26, 2017 | 35

PINKY’S

LIVE

CABARET

COMPLETE LISTINGS ONLINE CITYWEEKLY.NET

BY RANDY HARWARD

MUSIC PICKS

CHECK OUT OUR NEW

DAVID BLACK

MENU BEST

GARLIC BURGER

THURSDAY 1.26

FEATURED IN CITY WEEKLY'S BURGER WEEK

The Album Leaf, New Shack

4141 So. State Street 801.261.3463

New Expanded Hours for Rye: Monday-Friday from 9am-2pm Saturday and Sunday from 9am-3pm Friday and Sunday from 6pm-11pm

Free ticket Tuesday at Rye! 1 entree = 1 ticket at Urban Lounge (while supplies last) www.ryeslc.com

THE ALBUM LEAF NEW SHACK JAN 27: SUNSLEEPER YOUR METEOR JAN 26: 8PM DOORS 8PM DOORS

GLOE KEYES

JAN 28: 6PM DOORS

SHOOK TWINS THE HOLLERING PINES

JAN 28: 9:30PM DOORS

S&S 10 YEAR ANNIVERSARY PARTY W/

EARLY SHOW

LATE FREE SHOW

FLASH & FLARE. CHOICE FADED DUCHOVNY

JAN 29: CLAYTON CARR 8PM DOORS

MEMORIAL

W/ CHRIS WRIGHT MARKUS V DJ KNUCKLZ CLEEZY ERIK KUTTA

JAN 31: 8PM DOORS

RED BENNIES JOEY MICHAEL PEDERSEN BRAIN BAGZ DONNAQUIXOTEN

FEB 01: WAX TAILOR 8PM DOORS L’ORANGE CHRIS WRIGHT

FEB 02: CVPITVLS 8PM DOORS FREE SHOW

STORMS DESPITE DESPAIR DRUNK AS SHIT

FEB 03: FREE KITTENS COMEDY NIGHT: 6PM DOORS FREE EARLY SHOW

AMERAH AMES TANNER NICHOLSON AARON ORLOVITZ LEVI ROUNDS

FEB 03: DUBWISE W/ 9PM DOORS LATE SHOW

ROOMMATE

KING DUBBIST SYN.AESTHETIC ILLOOM

COMING SOON Feb 04: Give A Damn Comedy Feb 04: CloZee Feb 07: Leopold & His Fiction Show

You could call the music Jimmy LaVelle makes as The Album Leaf a few different things: electronic, ambient, post-rock, post-1980s-soundtrack-era Tangerine Dream and probably several other things.

What it is, really, is aural medicine. Put those cushy-canned headphones on your melon, press your play button, sit back.

Now close your eyes, think of your inner eyelids as screens and let your imagination project images onto them. Better yet, do it in the wee hours, like I’m doing right now.

I could easily fall asleep, but the songs on TAF’s sixth full-length, Between Waves (on heavy metal label Relapse—weird), meander with destination and purpose sufficient to hold your attention while oddly leaving you rested. Maybe it’s ambient Ambien. Maybe it’s non-drowsy NyQuil.

It’s definitely something you’ll play repeatedly, just for the peace that somehow eludes you in the daylight hours. Opening act New Shack, out of Provo, achieves a similar effect with their dreamy electropop and Catherine Leavy’s bewitching, ethereal lullaby vox. Their latest album is called Eingang, and you need it. The Urban Lounge, 241 S. 500 East, 8 p.m., $16 in advance, $18 day of show, 21+, theurbanloungeslc.com

The Album Leaf Jordan Matthew Young. That’s the name he’ll be going by when his band Candy’s River House returns in April after a short tour of Colorado and Texas in February, then a 30-day jaunt through Denmark and the Netherlands in March. “Once we get back from Europe, everything will be Jordan Matthew Young,” he says. “No more Candy’s.” Don’t get bummed out, now—the name change is for “business purposes and many other reasons,” and it’s not an end to all those great bluesrooted rock ‘n’ roll songs. Young’s just cranking out more goodness, with an eye on a new EP this spring featuring the tracks “Mona,” “Underpaid & Overused” and “Roll On.” Young says he’ll play “a ton of new stuff” during this Park City set where he’ll be accompanied by Candy’s River House bass player Nathan Simpson on upright bass. That’s so Young can show off his other talent: wringing true notes from all kinds of guitars from fine acoustics and electrics to raw, ostensibly ramshackle Diddley-Bo’s. The Cabin, 825 Main, Park City, 10 p.m., $35, 21+, thecabinparkcity.com

Jordan Matthew Young

FRIDAY 1.27

Shooter Jennings, Jordan Matthew Young

You’re all familiar enough with Shooter Jennings by now, aren’t ya? How he’s the scion of Waylon Jennings— literally Waylon Jr. And how he proved early on that he’s every bit as good a storyteller and tunesmith as his pappy, with his one-and-done rock band Stargunn in 2001, then with his awesomely titled Put the “O” Back in Country (Lost Highway) in 2005. So let’s give some to our local boy opener,

CATHERINE DAVIS

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36 | JANUARY 26, 2017

THIS WEEK’S

AMAZING $8 LUNCH EVERY WEEKDAY!

SATURDAY & SUNDAY BRUNCH, MIMOSA, AND MARY THURSDAY: Will Baxter Band @ 7:00

FRIDAY:

DJ ChaseOne2 @9:00

SATURDAY:

DJ Sneeky Long @ 9:00 MONDAY: Micro Monday $3 pints!

HIGHLAND

SUNDAY:

Brunch, Mary’s, and Mimosas

live music

TUESDAY:

Karaoke That Doesn’t Suck!

WEDNESDAY:

Dusty Boxcars @ 7:00, then VJ Birdman on the big screen AS ALWAYS, NO COVER!

FRI SAT

TONY HOLIDAY

MON & THURS

KARAOKE

& THE VELVETONES

MURPHY & THE GIANT HOME OF THE “SING O’ FIRE” SALT LAKE’S HOTTEST KARAOKE COMPETITION

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OLD WEST POKER TOURNAMENT STARTS @ 7PM

801-274-5578

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32 Exchange Place • 801-322-3200 www.twistslc.com • 11:00am-1:00am

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TUES

Come in or call for one of our many remote starts today!!!

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SATURDAY, JANUARY 28TH

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4242 S. STATE 801-265-9889

GIFT CERTIFICATES AVAILABLE at

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GREAT

FOOD & DRINK

SPECIALS

Malice, Truce in Blood, Materiam

If you’re old enough to recall the Metal Massacre compilations that Metal Blade Records put out in the ‘80s, you’re probably totally stoked that Malice is coming to town.

The Portland band has the distinction of being on the first volume of the series, along with other then-unknown bands like Ratt and Metallica. Future editions introduced the world to Slayer, Voivod and The Obsessed, so Malice is in great company—even if they never achieved the same success. They still did the Judas Priest biker metal thing with panache, adding Viking references for originality. Although it appears that Beavis and/ or Butt-Head is their webmaster, there is truly something beautiful in their website’s imperfection: the bad band photos, multicolored text, lack of updates and gratuitous shots of “Valkyries” and women in Malice T-shirts and butt-floss—some of whom are fans, some of whom appear to be “models.” You gotta love how Malice is flying the metal flag like that, going out on tour and doing their thing, donning leathers, hoisting claymores over their heads, caterwauling into a mic, whipping their hair around and rocking back and forth in tandem—and sounding great, more than 30 years after they debuted. Never give up on what makes you happy. Club X, 445 S. 400 West, 8 p.m., $5 in advance/$10 day of show, 21+, clubxslc.com

Malice lose yourself in the soft-focus images and sun flares that go with her bars of lasersighted rhymes. “That’s Real” is no empty, obligatory hip-hop boast. Of course, let’s not lose sight of the fact that Talib Kweli is the headliner, and he’s one-half—along with Mos Def—of Black Star, whose stellar 1998 album Mos Def & Talib Kweli Are Black Star (Rawkus/EMI), is sadly their only one.

Fortunately, both guys have lengthy discographies of their own, packed with conscious, Afrocentric hip-hop jams as ripe for analysis as they are in atmosphere. Styles P being of the gangsta/bling department of hip-hop, seems an odd inclusion, but you can trust that Kweli’s picker ain’t broken.

Metro Music Hall, 615 W. 100 South, 8 p.m., $25, 21+, metromusichall.com

Talib Kweli

SATURDAY 1.28

Talib Kweli, Styles P, K’Valentine

How cool is Talib Kweli? Rather than have his publicist try to get him press on his tour, the esteemed rapper and activist is apparently having them push opening act K’Valentine, a young hip-hop artist signed to his Javotti Media label. Sure, Kweli has a vested financial interest in the Chicagoborn rapper’s success, but she has the goods. Dig, if you will, the picture of sublime conscious flow with bite, paired with a commercial and aesthetic appeal lacking in dead-eyed mainstream eye candy/ear poison. Go to YouTube and check out her track “That’s Real (feat. BJ the Chicago Kid)” and

DOROTHY HONG

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38 | JANUARY 26, 2017

LIVE

FRIDAY, JANUARY 27TH

FRIDAY 1.27

CONCERTS & CLUBS

JIRO SCHNEIDER

AFI, Chain Gang of 1974, Souvenirs

AFI’s new self-titled album—alternatively called The Blood Album (Concord)—is the stiff epinephrine shot the world needed in the wake of the severe allergic reaction that was 2016. By subtly melding the darkness and artisanal style that pervaded 2013’s Burials (Republic) with the energy and mettle of 1997’s Shut Your Mouth and Open Your Eyes (Nitro), The Blood Album sees AFI at their most elemental; certainly the co-production by guitarist Jade Puget and Matt Hyde of Deftones’ Gore (Reprise) contributes to the meticulously crafted sound.

The Blood Tour brings AFI to Utah for the first time since 2009’s Crash Love Tour, so it should come as no surprise that this show is sold out. Chain Gang of 1974— an inventive venture of DJ and multi-instrumentalist Katmin Mohanger—provides a dynamic mixture of vocal roughage and polished electronica, while Souvenirs brings their unique currency of melancholia and melodicism. (Zac Smith) The Depot, 400 W. South Temple, 7 p.m., sold out, depotslc.com

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1.28

GLEEWOOD SUPERBUBBLE

OPEN BLUES JAM HOSTED

BY ROBBY’S BLUES EXPLOSION

3200 E BIG COTTONWOOD RD. | 801.733.5567 THEHOGWALLOW.COM

JANUARY 26, 2017 | 39

1.30

MICHELLE MOONSHINE

| CITY WEEKLY |

1.27

2.1 HECTIC HOBO WITH TONY HOLIDAY & THE VELVETONES 2.2 PIXIE & THE PARTYGRASS BOYS 2.3 FREE PEOPLES

1.26

| MUSIC | CINEMA | DINING | A&E | NEWS |

SPIRITS • FOOD • GOOD COMPANY

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40 | JANUARY 26, 2017

CONCERTS & CLUBS

CITY WEEKLY’S HOT LIST FOR THE WEEK

COMPLETE LISTINGS ONLINE @ CITYWEEKLY.NET

THURSDAY 1.26 LIVE MUSIC

Access Music Program (The Spur) Acoustic Showcase + feat. KingFisher + Aubrey Hansen + Nate Hardyman + Mikkia Osman (Velour) The Album Leaf + New Shack (The Urban Lounge) see p. 36 Tony Arzadon (Downstairs) Will Baxter (Twist) Beachmen + Elytra + Telepanther + Motion Books (Metro Music Hall) Jonatha Brooke + Melody Pulsipher (The State Room) Corner Pocket (Gallivan Center) Gigi Love (The Cabin) see p. 33 RL Grime (Park City Live) Tony Holiday & the Velvetones + Hectic Hobo (The Hog Wallow) John Kadlecik + Michelle Moonshine (Gracie’s) Live Music at El Chanate (Snowbird) Lukas Nelson + Royal Bliss (The Cabin) Magic Mint + The Wednesday People + Giants in the Oak Tree (Kilby Court) Reggae Thursday w/ The Clifftones + Daverse (The Royal)

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION & PIANO LOUNGE DJ/VJ Birdman (Bourbon House) Dueling Pianos (The Spur Bar & Grill) Dueling Pianos (The Tavernacle) Funkin’ Fridays w/ DJ Rude Boy + Bad Boy Brian (Johnny’s on Second) Hot Noise + Guest DJ (The Red Door) Jazz Jam Session (Sugar House Coffee) Jazz Joint Thursday w/ Mark Chaney & the Garage All Stars (Garage on Beck) The New Wave (‘80s Night) w/ DJ Radar (Area 51) Reggae Thursday (The Royal) Therapy Thursdays feat. Bingo Players (Sky) Velvet (Gothic + Industrial + Dark Wave) w/ DJ Courtney (Area 51)

KARAOKE

Cowboy Karaoke (The Cabin) Karaoke with DJ Benji (A Bar Named Sue) Karaoke (Willie’s Lounge) Live Band Karaoke with TIYB (Club 90) Throwback Thursdays (Liquid Joe’s)

FRIDAY 1.27 LIVE MUSIC

AFI + Chain Gang of 1974 + Souvenirs (The Depot) see p. 39 American Hitmen + Ginger & the Gents + Advent Horizon (The Royal) American Wrestlers + Sales & Co. (Kilby Court) Après Live Music (Park City Mountain) Will Baxter (Garage on Beck) Bright Lights (Downstairs) Busta Rhymes (Park City Live) Colt .46 (Outlaw Saloon) Comanche Joey (Brewski’s) Tim Daniels Band (The Acoustic Space) Foreign Figures + Solarsuit + Robert Loud (Velour) Jana and the Rebels (Broadview Entertainment Arts University) Shooter Jennings + Jordan Matthew Young (The Cabin) see p. 36 Dan Layus + Ryan Beaver (The State Room) see p. 41 Le Voir + Mountains of Mirrors + Thieving V (Funk ’n’ Dive) Live Bands (Johnny’s on Second) Live Music at The Aerie (Snowbird) Live Music at The Wildflower (Snowbird) L.O.L. (Club 90) Local Chump + Cephas + Nate Sexton (Muse Music) Malice + Truce in Blood + Materiam (Club X) see p. 38

Metal Dogs (The Spur) Nasty Nasty + Witch Portal + This Modern Life + The Official Mormon Tabernacle Choir (Diabolical Records) Pixie & the Partygrass Boys (The Hog Wallow) Queenadilla + Salem Witch Doctors (ABG’s) RJD2 + DJ Juggy (Metro Music Hall) Sunsleeper + Your Meteor + Keyes + Gloe (The Urban Lounge) That’s A Wrap Sundance Concert feat.

The FUNdeMENTALS + Scotty Haze Band + Rusty River Band + Idlemine (Liquid Joe’s) Whistling Rufus (Sugar House Coffee) Wild Country (The Westerner) The Wykees + Brother (The Wall at BYU) Ché Zuro (Deer Valley)

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION & PIANO LOUNGE All-Request Gothic + Industrial + EBM + and Dark Wave w/ DJ Vision (Area 51) Bangarang (In the Venue) Chaseone2 (Twist) DJ Handsome Hands (Bourbon House) Dueling Pianos (The Tavernacle) Friday Night Fun (All-Request Dance) w/ DJ Twitch (Area 51) Hot Noise (The Red Door) Riitual: Minnesota _ Cult 45 (Sky)

KARAOKE

Karaoke (Cheers to You SLC) Karaoke (Willie’s Lounge)

y a d n o M Gracie’s

n o i s s e S

z The Jaz d n a y ida vid Hall artet. a D t s o Qu w/ H Vespers sit-in cians to i s u m l loca age for he band! t s n e p O with t m -10:00p m p 0 0 : 7 onday | ’s is 21+ e Every M i c a r G r| No Cove

Join us for dinner and drinks. Relax on our award winning, heated/misted patio and deck with a seasonally inspired cocktail, an ice cold beer or choose from our extensive wine and spirits selection. Take in a game of pool, shuffleboard or corn hole. Watch the game on one of our 40+ Full HD TV’s, listen to live music, cut the rug on the dance floor or belly up to the bar for intelligent drinks and strong conversation.

There is something for everyone here at Gracie’s Gastropub. Open 365 days a year.

326 W TEMPLE | IN THE HEART OF DOWNTOWN | GRACIESSLC.COM

SATURDAY 1.28

FRIDAY 1.27

LIVE MUSIC

Karaoke (Willie’s Lounge)

LIVE MUSIC

Access Music Program (The Spur) Après Live Music (Park City Mountain) A Celebration of Life for Clayton Carr Civilian feat. Chris Wright + Markus V + DJ Knucklz + Cleezy + Erik Kutta

DUSTY BARKER

KARAOKE

Karaoke w/ DJ Benji (A Bar Named Sue on State) Karaoke (The Tavernacle) Karaoke Church w/ DJ Ducky (Jam)

MONDAY 1.30 LIVE MUSIC

Alcest + Creepers + The Body (Metro Music Hall) Live Music at El Chanate (Snowbird) Sage the Gemini + SOB x RBE + Derek Pope (Infinity Event Center) Alicia Stockman (The Spur)

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION & PIANO LOUNGE Monday Night Blues Jam (The Royal) Open Blues Jam (The Green Pig) Open Blues Jam hosted by Robby’s Blues Explosion (Hog Wallow Pub)

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION & PIANO LOUNGE Open Jazz Jam (Bourbon House) Open Mic (The Wall at BYU)

DJ LATU

Weeknights monday

OUR FAMOUS OPEN BLUES JAM WITH WEST TEMPLE TAILDRAGGERS

LIVE MUSIC

Dashboard Confessional + The Wild Life (The Depot) Dusty Boxcars (Twist) Gleewood (The Spur) Live Jazz (Club 90) Live Music at The Aerie (Snowbird) The Nth Power (The State Room) Rohrer (Shades of Pale) Tarot Death Card + Muzzle Tung + Heavy Dose + Mañanero (Metro Music Hall) TV Girl + Poppet (Kilby Court) Wax Tailor + L’Orange + Chris Wright + Steez Loso (The Urban Lounge)

tuesday

LOCAL NIGHTS OUT

wednesday

THE TRIVIA FACTORY 7PM

Every sunday ADULT TRIVIA 7PM

Great food

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION & PIANO LOUNGE

LIVE MUSIC

KARAOKE

Live Music at The Bistro (Snowbird) Rylee McDonald (The Spur) Red Bennies + Joseph Michael Pedersen + Brain Bagz + DonnaQuixote (The Urban Lounge)

saturday, january 28

WEDNESDAY 2.1

TUESDAY 1.31

Karaoke Bingo (The Tavernacle) Karaoke with DJ Benji (A Bar Named Sue)

HELL CAMINOS

Karaoke (The Tavernacle) Karaoke w/ DJ Thom (A Bar Named Sue on State) Karaoke w/ Spotlight Entertainment (Keys on Main) Karaoke That Doesn’t Suck (Twist) Karaoke w/ Zim Zam Ent. (Club 90)

Brisk (Downstairs) DJ Birdman (Twist) DJ Curtis Strange (Willie’s Lounge) Dueling Pianos (The Tavernacle) Open Mic (Muse Music) Temple (Gothic and Industrial) w/ DJ Mistress Nancy (Area 51)

KARAOKE

friday, january 27

KARAOKE

Areaoke w/ KJ Ruby (Area 51) Karaoke (The Wall at BYU) Karaoke Party (Liquid Joe’s) Ultimate Karaoke (The Royal) Wednesduhhh! Karaoke w/ DJ Ducky (Jam)

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JANUARY 26, 2017 | 41

SUNDAY 1.29

DJ Curtis Strange (Willie’s Lounge) Open Blues Jam (The Green Pig Pub)

thursday, january 26

| CITY WEEKLY |

KARAOKE

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION & PIANO LOUNGE

LIVE Music

Dueling Pianos (The Tavernacle) Ceremony (All-Request Gothic + Industrial and Dark Wave) w/ DJ Courtney (Area 51) DJ Juggy (Bourbon House) DJ Latu (The Green Pig) DJ Sneeky Long (Twist) DJ Butch Wolfthorn (The Royal) Sky Saturdays w/ DJ Turbulence (Sky) Radio Play (Remix) w/ DJ Jeremiah (Area 51)

(The Urban Lounge) Rome Fortune (Kilby Court) Live Bluegrass (Club 90) Live Music at El Chanate (Snowbird) Pick & Choose + Reverberation + City of Vermin + Cera (The Acoustic Space)

This isn’t Augustana frontguy Dan Layus going solo. The band still exists; he’s just the only remaining member, so why not shift to performing and recording under his own name? Well, he’s also gravitated toward more of a country sound on Dangerous Things, his first release since Augustana’s Life Imitating Life (Washington Square, 2014). Stripped of the band’s pop leanings, Layus’ songs are dusty, heartworn and nearly unrecognizable as him—except for the way he paints pictures with words. Only this time, his palette is rich but seemingly only conjures black-and-white and sepia-tone images.

Huh. Nashville country artist and BMI songsmith Ryan Beaver opens. (Randy Harward) The State Room, 638 S. State, 9 p.m., $22, 21+, thestateroomslc.com

| MUSIC | CINEMA | DINING | A&E | NEWS |

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION & PIANO LOUNGE

Dan Layus, Ryan Beaver

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

Après Live Music (Park City Mountain) The Arvos + Lovely Noughts (The Acoustic Space) As Seen On TV + feat. Ryan Innes + Amber Lynn + James The 8th + Belle Jewell (Velour) Bad Boy Bill + Nate Lowpass (The Cabin) The Departure + Inside Job + Emanon (Flanagan’s on Main) DJ Scooter (Downstairs) Doris Day + Famous Friends + The Eddy Mech + Dylan Clough (Muse Music) Andy Frasco & The U.N. + Tony Holiday and the Velvetones + The Royal Engineers (O.P. Rockwell) Free Peoples (The Hog Wallow) Rick Gerber & the Nightcaps (Johnny’s on Second) Joy Spring Band (Sugar House Coffee) Little Black Dress (The Moose Lounge) Live Local Music (A Bar Named Sue) Live Music (Outlaw Saloon) Live Music at The Aerie (Snowbird) Live Trio (The Red Door) L.O.L. (Club 90) Talib Kweli + Styles P + K’Valentine (Metro Music Hall) see p. 38 Mayhem + Inquisition + Black Anvil (The Complex) see p. 34 Mokie + TBD (The State Room) Rage Against the Supremes (The Spur) Riding Gravity + I Like My Trike + Eminence Front + Johnny Utah (Club X) S&S 10-Year Anniversary Party w/ DJ Flash & Flare + CHOiCE (The Urban Lounge) Shook Twins + The Hollering Pines (The Urban Lounge) Sounds Like Teen Spirit (Brewski’s) Spazmatics (Liquid Joe’s) Zedd + Lophiile (Park City Live)

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

| CITY WEEKLY • ADULT |

42 | JANUARY 26, 2017

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CROSSWORD PUZZLE

Š 2016

PEATS

BY DAVID LEVINSON WILK

ACROSS

Last week’s answers

| CITY WEEKLY |

JANUARY 26, 2017 | 43

No math is involved. The grid has numbers, but nothing has to add up to anything else. Solve the puzzle with reasoning and logic. Solving time is typically 10 to 30 minutes, depending on your skill and experience.

Complete the grid so that each row, column, diagonal and 3x3 square contain all of the numbers 1 to 9.

| MUSIC | CINEMA | DINING | A&E | NEWS |

1. When tripled, a Seinfeld catchphrase 2. Program blocker 3. Beethoven dedicatee 4. Beachgoers' protection 5. Gorilla, e.g.

6. NFL's ____ Te'o 7. Like a Frisbee's symmetry 8. 2007 documentary about the health care system

54. Follow, as a tip 55. You always pass it on your way home 56. Two-time National League batting champ Lefty 57. Trounces 58. MGM founder Marcus 61. "Wishing won't make ____" 64. Super Mario Bros. console, for short

SUDOKU

DOWN

9. 45 holder 10. "Sounds about right to me" 11. The "N" of TNT 12. Real mess 13. Tater ____ 18. Textile factory containers 24. It can be airtight or waterproof 25. Dubai ruler 28. Latest sensation 29. Roth ____ 30. Make calls 32. John, to Elton John 33. TiVo precursor 34. Going by, for short 36. Blue state?

37. The works 38. Circus safeguard 40. Track ____ 41. K-5: Abbr.

44. Nice enough fellow 46. Mediterranean island where Rafael Nadal was born 48. From the top 50. El ____, Texas 51. Coming out event?

52. Certain online request 53. Rainforest vine

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

1. The "Y" of fashion's YSL 5. Accumulate 10. Place of research: Abbr.

14. Rights org. since 1920 15. Prozac alternative 16. T. Rex, e.g.

17. Baseball player who only bats visiting the Piazza San Marco?

19. Baseball card factoid 20. Tyler of "The Talk" 21. Bit of filming 22. Schnauzer sounds 23. Statement of great appreciation for bog mosses?

26. Mao ____-tung 27. Ambulance letters 28. A lot of a Maine forest 31. Edison's middle name 35. Herbert Hoover, by birth 39. "We ____ the 99%" 40. Where Judi Dench's character stores her gym bag in Bond films?

42. "Hip! Hip! Jorge!"

43. Willem of "Platoon" 45. Kind of contraception 46. Go soft 47. Hawaii's Mauna ____ 49. Org. with a radon hotline 51. Give a captain's superior a licking for being too low-pitched?

58. "History of Rome" author 59. Among the 1%, so to speak 60. "Same with me" 62. Not a facsimile: Abbr.

63. Query to the family when deciding what to do for dinner ... or this puzzle's theme 65. "____, Brute?"

66. [Bo-o-oring!]

67. Skips, as class 68. Curds and ____ 69. Ranch workers 70. "One other thing ..."

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Fresh Furnishings

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VIVINT.SMARTHOME

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Between the cold temps and the smoggy air, Salt Lake City residents are finding more reasons to stay indoors—and if you’re going to play the homebody game, you might as well make that home as lovely as possible. Dara Modern, a locally owned boutique for furniture and home goods, wants to help make your home as unique as you.

The company offers a wide variety of products at different price ranges for everyone—whether you’re looking for new furniture, art, accessories or kitchenware. “We offer more than we can fit in the store,” owner Dustin Matinkhah says.

“We can order anything from the lines of the brands we carry, although obviously we can’t have it all in the showroom.”

Matinkhah started Dara Modern as a pop-up store for three months around the holidays in 2015. The experiment went so well that he decided to open a full-time store, which has been operating since June 2016. “It’s been going really well and the feedback has been good so far,” he says.

Matinkhah loves the buying process the most—“finding new, cool things to bring to Salt Lake and share with people,” he says.

He visits trade shows to find brands that he knows are great, but aren’t offered in Salt Lake City. “And usually when I travel, I shop quite a bit, so it’s nice to check out stores in other places, see what products are interesting,” he says.

“Interesting” is the perfect way to describe their aesthetic. Whether it’s a transparent green acrylic dining set, eco-friendly disposable plates, neon clocks, marble and brass paper-towel holders, copper wire baskets, stemless cognac glasses or lacy placemats, there’s always something eye-catching.

Matinkhah’s sister Gabbie helps out in the shop on occasion and enjoys watching customers’ reactions. “I love hearing their

Wall art by local artist Ellen McConnell compliments,” she says. The majority of patrons who walk through the boutique’s doors say they’re pleased with the type of products now being sold here.

That’s what Matinkhah was shooting for.

“I’m excited to bring in brands that weren’t really being represented in Salt Lake City,” he says. Though he isn’t just going for unique. Each piece is functional, lovely and can stand on its own—which means you won’t have to haul a half a dozen purchases if you want to spice up an area in your home.

While the furniture and home goods are sourced from all over the globe, Matinkhah makes an effort to support and promote Utahns with his art selections. Dara Modern currently features pieces from local artist Ellen McConnell (pictured above), among other stunning works.

And when you’re ready to cart home your prized new posessions, the personalized customer service extends beyond the doors of the boutique. “I even do my own deliveries,” Matinkhah says. n

Dara Modern 213 E. 300 South, Salt Lake City 801-891-9632 Monday-Saturday: 11 a.m.-7 p.m. daramodern.com RUTHANNE FROST

PHOTO OF THE WEEK BY

RUTHANNE FROST

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44 | JANUARY 26, 2017

T BEA

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY B Y R O B

B R E Z S N Y

Go to realastrology.com for Rob Brezsny’s expanded weekly audio horoscopes and daily text-message horoscopes.

Audio horoscopes also available by phone at 877-873-4888 or 900-950-7700.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) A London-based think tank does an annual study to determine which countries offer the most freedom. The Legatum Institute measures indicators like civil liberties, social tolerance and the power to choose one’s destiny. The current champion is Luxembourg. Canada is in second place. France is 22nd, the U.S. is 26th and Italy 27th. Since I’m hoping you will markedly enhance your own personal freedom in the coming months, you might want to consider moving to Luxembourg. If that’s not an option, what else could you do? The time is ripe to hatch your liberation plans.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20) I love to see dumpsters that have been decorated by graffiti artists. Right now, there’s one by the side of a busy road I often drive on. Its drab gray exterior has been transformed into a splash of cartoon images and scripts. Amid signatures that look like “Riot Goof” and “Breakfast Toys” and “Sky Blooms,” I can discern a ninja rhinoceros and a gold-crowned jaguar and an army of flying monkeys using squirt guns to douse a forest fire. I suspect it’s a perfect time to for you to be inspired by this spectacle, Pisces.

What dumpster-like situation could you beautify?

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VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) The next two weeks will be a favorable time to kiss the feet of helpful allies, but not to kiss the butts of clever manipulators. I also advise you to perform acts of generosity for those who will use your gifts intelligently, but not for those who will waste your blessings or treat you like a doormat. Here’s my third point: Consider returning to an old fork in the road where you made a wrong turn, and then making the correct turn this time. But if you do, be motivated by bright hope for a different future rather than by sludgy remorse for your error.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) In the beginning was the wild cabbage. Our ancestors found that it had great potential as food, and proceeded to domesticate it. Over the centuries, they used selective breeding to develop many further variations on the original. Kale and kohlrabi were the first to appear. By the 15th century, cauliflower had been created. Broccoli came along a hundred years later, followed by Brussels sprouts. Today there are at least 20 cultivars whose lineage can be traced back to the wild cabbage. In my astrological opinion, you Libras are in a wild cabbage phase of your long-term cycle. In the coming months, you can and should do seminal work that will ultimately generate an abundance of useful derivatives.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) In 1733, workers finished building the New Cathedral in Salamanca, Spain. But if you go there today, you will see two seemingly modern elements on one façade: carvings of a helmeted astronaut and of a gargoyle licking an ice cream cone.

These two characters were added by craftsmen who did renovations on the cathedral in 1992. I offer this vignette as metaphor for your life, Scorpio. It’s a favorable time to upgrade and refine an old structure in your life. And if you do take advantage of this opening, I suggest you add modern touches.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) I suspect that in the coming weeks, you will be afforded opportunities to bend the rules in ways that could make life simpler, more pleasurable and more successful—or all of the above. To help you deal with the issue of whether these deviations would have integrity, I offer you these questions: Would bending the rules serve a higher good, not just your selfish desires? Is there an approach to bending the rules that might ultimately produce more compassionate results than not bending the rules? Could you actually get away with bending the rules, both in the sense of escaping punishment and also in the sense of being loyal to your own conscience?

CANCER (June 21-July 22) Born to a religious mother on July 8, 1839, John D. Rockefeller amassed a fortune in the oil industry. Even in comparison to modern billionaires like Bill Gates and Warren Buffet, he’s the richest American who ever lived. “God gave me the money,” he said on numerous occasions. Now I’m going to borrow the spirit of Rockefeller’s motto for your use, Cancerian. Why? Because it’s likely you will be the recipient of blessings that prompt you to wonder if the Divine Wow is involved. One of these might

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) I don’t necessarily guarantee that you will acquire paranormal powers in the coming weeks. I’m not saying that you will be able to foretell the future or eavesdrop on conversations from a half-mile away or transform water into whiskey-flavored coffee. But I do suspect that you will at least tap further into a unique personal ability that has been mostly just potential up until now. Or you might finally start using a resource that has been available for a long time. For best results, open your imagination to the possibility that you possess dormant magic.

JANUARY 26, 2017 | 45

GEMINI (May 21-June 20) The roulette wheels at casinos in Monaco have 37 pockets—18 are black, 18 are red and one is green. On any particular spin, the ball has barely less than a 50 percent chance of landing in a red or black pocket. But there was one night back in August 1913, at the Casino de Monte-Carlo, when probability seemed inoperative. The little white ball kept landing on the black over and over again. Gamblers responded by increasingly placing heavy bets on red numbers.

They assumed the weird luck would soon change. But it didn’t until the 27th spin. (The odds of that happening were 136,823,184 to 1.) What does this have to do with you? I suspect you’re in a comparable situation—the equivalent of about 20 spins into an improbable streak. My advice: Don’t bet on the red yet.

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TAURUS (April 20-May 20) The New York Film Critics Circle named Casey Affleck the Best Actor of the year for his role in the film Manchester by the Sea. In his acceptance speech at the award ceremony, Affleck gave a dramatic reading of quotes by David Edelstein—a prominent critic who has criticized his work. “Mumbly and mulish,” was one of Edelstein’s jabs about Affleck. “Doesn’t have a lot of variety,” was another. A third: “Whenever I see Affleck’s name in a movie’s credits, you can expect a standard, genre B picture—slowed down and tarted up.” I suspect that in the coming weeks, Taurus, you might get a vindication comparable to Affleck’s. I suggest you have wicked fun with it, as he did.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) What influence do you need most in your life right now? Are you suffering because you lack a particular kind of help or teaching?

Would you benefit from having a certain connection that you have not yet figured out how to make? Is there a person or event that could heal you if you had a better understanding about how you need to be healed? The coming weeks will be a favorable time to get useful answers to these questions—and then take action based on what you discover.

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ARIES (March 21-April 19) Westward Ho! is the name of a village in southwestern England. Its name is impressive because of the exclamation point. But it’s not as dramatic as that of the only town on Earth with two exclamation points: Saint-Louis-du-Ha! Ha!, which is in Quebec. I invite you Aries folks to be equally daring.

According to my reading of the astrological omens, you have a cosmic mandate and poetic license to cram extra !!!!s into all your writing and speaking, and even add them to the spelling of your name! Why? Because this should be one of the most exciting and ebullient phases of your astrological cycle—a time to risk showing just how enthusiastic and energetic you are!!!!!

indeed be financial. (P.S. Such boons are even more likely to transpire if you’re anchored in your sweet, dark wisdom and your holy, playful creativity.)

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46 | JANUARY 26, 2017

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Poets Corner

FEEDING THE WRONG

A Devil in my hand But an Angel on my shoulder I know what I’m needing But the wrong one , I Keep feeding My life’s a book Filled with ruin, I keep writing My life’s in turmoil That i keep on feeding Stuck in the plot I can’t stop reading A Tragic love story That I just keep feeding NIC DAVIES Send your poem (max 15 lines), to: Poet’s Corner, City Weekly, 248 South Main Street, SLC, UT 84101 or e-mail to poetscorner@cityweekly.net.

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Ski, Boards and Ice

The first skateboard I ever owned was a red painted board, about a foot long and six inches wide, with metal roller skating wheels on the front and back. My parents bought it at the Ben Franklin store for less than $10. There were no safety helmets, pads or instructions—just a rolling good time of falls and fun. Centuries later (OK, I’m not quite that old), skateboarding will appear in the 2020 Olympics in Japan for the first time ever.

I mention skateboarding because it’s related to snowboarding, and this time of year is Ski and Snowboard Month in Utah. When I first moved here, I learned to ski, but that was on two long boards, not one. Supposedly the first snowboard was invented by Sherman Poppen, who in 1965 came up with the idea of one board called the Snurfer. I never moved from two boards to one, probably because I was so bad at skateboarding as a child.

Ski Utah works with the state’s major resorts to get more people on the slopes by offering ski or snowboard lessons for only $49. Each resort honors the marketing plan during different times of the month, except weekends and holidays.

With heav y snow pack around the state, it’s an exceptional time to take advantage of these lessons and slide your way into winter happiness. Participating resorts include Alta, Beaver Mountain, Brian Head, Brighton, Deer Valley, Eagle Point, Nordic Valley, Park City, Powder Mountain, Snowbasin, Snowbird, Solitude and Sundance. The great part is that the price also includes your equipment and lift ticket. These days, lift tickets alone range $50-$150 in Utah for just one day.

Not all resorts are snowboard-friendly.

As a matter of fact, in the United States, only three—Utah’s Deer Valley and Alta and Vermont’s Mad River Glen—continue to ban snowboarding, despite lawsuits from boarders challenging the policies.

For those of you who don’t ski for whatever reason, there’s always sledding or tubing. We have some fun places close to the tri-city area: Gorgoza Park between Salt Lake and Park City and Soldier Hollow up in Midway. Also, the magical Ice Castles are now open in Midway (icecastles.com/midway). It’s a wintertime must-see for the whole family. n

Content is prepared expressly for Community and is not endorsed by City Weekly staff.

Babs De Lay

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