City Weekly Dec 15, 2016

C I T Y W E E K LY. N E T D E C E M B E R 1 5 , 2 0 1 6 | V O L . 3 3 N 0 . 3 2

THE TO BE HERE FOR A NEW FOOTBALL COACH AT WEST HIGH SCHOOL AND HIS TEAM, LIFE LESSONS PROVE AS PAINFUL AS LOSSES ON THE FIELD.

BY STEPHEN DARK

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CWCONTENTS COVER STORY WEST HIGH LIGHTS

Panthers face battle on and off the field.

Cover photo by Niki Chan

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4 LETTERS 6 OPINION 8 NEWS 16 A&E 26 DINE 32 CINEMA 35 TRUE TV 36 MUSIC 50 COMMUNITY

KATHY MUELLER

Senior account exec.

A veteran on the City Weekly masthead for a whopping 14 years, Mueller enjoys swimming and catching live music. Her favorite part of the gig? “How connected I am in the community,” she says, adding she interacts with people “from all walks, all the time. You have some very strange experiences ...”

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SOAP BOX

COMMENTS@CITYWEEKLY.NET @SLCWEEKLY

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Art Right

Can a cartoon be a letter to the editor? I drew one and I’d like to submit it. (I apologize that I suck as an artist.)

RAS BERET, Clearfield

News, Dec. 1, “Silent Survivors”

Kudos for highlighting these women and this issue. The use of the term sex worker here diminishes the gravity of what these women face and their status as victims of unspeakable abuse. Being prostituted by pimps and johns is not an occupation, it is a form of oppression, and as much as some choose it to survive, it chose them. These are prostituted people, victims of commercial sexual exploitation and should be referred to as such as not to minimize the truth of what this is.

The Ocho, Dec. 1, “8 ways to spot a ‘fake news’ website”

Fox News and Rupert Murdoch. Republicans cry Soros but know nothing about old Rupert. More disturbing is the lack of knowledge many have regarding Koch Bro’s influence [on] American politics.

LUCILLE LOPICCOLO DOUROUX Via Facebook

On fake news: “Those Who Can Make You Believe Absurdities, Can Make You Commit Atrocities” —Voltaire

VÍCTOR M. CENTENO

Jared Bowden, I fail to see your point. Vader was great for the Empire.

MAX SANDALL Via Facebook

Good article, but if anyone’s waiting for Donald Trump Jr. to save democracy, don’t hold your breath.

@SUGGSWITHABOX Via Twitter

Gawd, seriously? Talk about an evil Sith, look at Clinton.

@ZACHBRIMHALL

Via Facebook

A&E, Dec. 1, “Emperor Trumpatine”

“So this is how democracy ends: to thunderous applause.” The only good line of the entire prequel trilogy.

Via Twitter

All for opposing viewpoints

Trump’s too incompetent to be compared to the genius of Darth Sidious.

First and foremost, I would like to thank you for publishing my poem, “The Steps of the Madeleine.” It was a great surprise to see, indeed! I would like to comment, also, on the article that you published, titled “Emperor Trumpatine” [A&E, Dec. 1].

I found it very entertaining and somewhat insightful, as well. The comparison that the author made was quite accurate; however, I did think that it could have gone into some more detail. Perhaps that is just complimenting the article further; that’s up to you.

Finally, I would like to say that I did vote for Donald Trump, but I always like to hear the opposing viewpoints to keep me on my feet, which City Weekly does a hell of a job (pardon my French). Keep up the good work.

Via Twitter

Salt Lake City

What an inspiration to all of us Polynesians. Thank you for your selflessness and willingness to make others feel happy.

Trump will be a great president.

Drink, Dec. 1, “Hop to It”

Via CityWeekly.net

In the way that Darth Vader was good for the Empire.

A. BRAUER, J.D.

Via CityWeekly.net

ROB TENNANT

@CityWeekly Terms matter. They survive commercial sexual exploitation, oppression. Not an occupation. … Kudos for covering Silent Survivors.

@ALAYNABRAUER

Via Facebook … By the way, I’m applauding the article. Not the loss of democracy.

@MARKESUTTER Via Twitter

Via Twitter A step in the right direction at least.

JIM SMITH

Hollywood idiots know best. Glad to have Trump as commander in chief.

JAMES DUBIN JR.

Via Facebook

Via Facebook

Or just decriminalize sex work …

STEPHANIE NELSON Via Facebook

@TOPHXOMI

Five Spot, Dec. 1, Pepa Taufui NIA FONUA Way to go!

SCOTT HYLAND Via Facebook

@CLEMENTYCHOW Via Twitter

@TRIGGERLOOP Via Twitter

Salt Lake City

Cinema, Dec. 1, “Holiday horror might be the most horrible subgenre.” @VIRGILGLASS

@ClementYChow I’m really bitter about this.

Via Facebook

Via Facebook

MARC CRONAN,

So I guess that’s Really Bad Santa?

Really missed the ball on the pun: “IPAs are hopping to the top.”

JARED BOWDEN

SANDRA STAYER

DOUGLAS N. HEINL,

I think you did the local craft brewers a disservice with your recent article “Hop to It, The remarkable rise of IPAs.” Identifying IPAs from Uinta, Epic, Red Rock and Squatters is like identifying lagers made by Bud and Coors. Pretty much anyone reading your paper knows about them. The local Big Four all make great beers—I am a huge fan—but not even a nod to some of the lesser known, but possibly better, ones from Proper, 2 Row or Shades of Pale? And here I thought City Weekly was all about the little guy. Tsk, tsk.

Via Twitter

Music, Dec. 1, “Have cassettes come back for good?”

No.

@UTAHAN15 Via Twitter

STAFF Publisher JOHN SALTAS Editorial

Editor ENRIQUE LIMÓN Arts &Entertainment Editor SCOTT RENSHAW Music Editor RANDY HARWARD Senior Staff Writer STEPHEN DARK Staff Writer DYLAN WOOLF HARRIS Copy Editor ANDREA HARVEY Proofers SARAH ARNOFF, LANCE GUDMUNDSEN

Dining Listings Coordinator MIKEY SALTAS Editorial Intern RHETT WILKINSON Contributors CECIL ADAMS, KATHARINE BIELE, MISSY BIRD, ROB BREZSNY, BABS DE LAY, BILL FROST, ANNIE KNOX, KATHERINE PIOLI, JOHN RASUMSEN, TED SCHEFFLER, GAVIN SHEEHAN, CHUCK SHEPHERD, ERIC D. SNIDER, BRIAN STAKER, ANDREW WRIGHT, LEE ZIMMERMAN

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Art Director DEREK CARLISLE Assistant Art Director CAMILLE ELMER Graphic Artists CAIT LEE, SUMMER MONTGOMERY, JOSH SCHEUERMAN

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Marketing & Events Director JACKIE BRIGGS Street Team STEPHANIE ABBOTT, SHAUNTEL ARCHULETTA, BEN BALDRIDGE, TYLER GRAHAM, ADAM LANE, ANDY ROMERO, LAUREN TAGGE, MIKAYLA THURBUR, STEVEN VARGO

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6 | DECEMBER 15, 2016

OPINION

Ignoble

I was mulling this year’s funny Ig Nobel Awards when a startling announcement pinballed around the internet. “Holy mother of God,” tweeted Rosanne Cash, “Bob Dylan won the Nobel Prize.”

My wife shouted the news from the basement. “No way!” I called back. “Are you sure it’s not DeLillo?” It seemed improbable that a writer of pop songs, even one as estimable as Dylan, would join such writers of novels as Ernest Hemingway, John Steinbeck and Toni Morrison as a Nobel literary laureate. But there it was from Sweden: “The Nobel Prize in Literature 2016 was awarded to Bob Dylan for having created new poetic expressions within the great American song tradition.”

Within a matter of hours, commentary flooded the internet. Most was as ebullient as a Bernie Sanders rally. Some literati groused.

So did Garrison Keillor. But The New York Times published encomiums quoting Harvard scholars. I was attracted to a post on the PEN America website by Porochista Khakpour: “Every year when the news of the winner of the Nobel Prize for Literature comes in, the homework I assign my students is select readings from the writer. Today was tough.

I know Bob Dylan has books—that neither I nor anyone I know has read—but he was chosen for his songs. So what’s a liberal arts college professor to do?” The rhetorical question evoked my own classroom experience—a struggle to interest students in the synthesis of word and music in Paul Simon’s “The Sound of Silence.”

I remember the first time I heard Dylan’s raspy voice singing the 1960s anthem, “Blowin’ in the Wind,” but I don’t remember hearing Petra Mayer praise Fredrik Sjöberg’s book on NPR. But damned if he didn’t win the 2016 Ig Nobel Literature Prize “for his three-volume autobiographical work about the pleasures of collecting flies that are dead and flies that are not yet dead.” Mayer said, “It’s a memoir by a Swedish entomologist who lives on a tiny island—but it sort of defies summary, because you read it and he’s so funny and he’s so observant and his wit is so

BY JOHN RASMUSON

dry, you want to go hunting flies with him.”

So goes the Ig Nobels. Now 26 years old, they are sourced in the Harvard University campus. The annual award ceremony evokes the irreverent theatrics of such other Harvard satirists as the Lampoon and Hasty Pudding Club. That the Ig Nobels are presented by “genuine, genuinely bemused” Nobel laureates redeems the event from low comedy.

“The Ig Nobel awards are arguably the highlight of the scientific calendar,” wrote Helen Pilcher in Nature. “The prizes, which are the wayward son of the more righteous Nobels, are supposed to reward research that makes people laugh, then think.” So keep “laugh, then think” uppermost as you read this year’s batch of Ig Nobels: The Reproduction Prize went to an Egyptian, the late Ahmed Shafik, for his study of how the sex lives of rats were affected by the wearing of either polyester, cotton or wool trousers, and for conducting similar tests with human males. For those with a scientific curiosity, rats in polyester pants had less sex less than those wearing cotton and wool.

“Assessing the perceived personalities of rocks, from a sales and marketing perspective” earned the prize in economics for researchers in New Zealand and the U.K. They tested the Aaker Five-Dimensional Model of Brand Personality—sincerity, excitement, competence, sophistication, ruggedness—on rocks.

Why do white-haired horses repel bloodsucking horseflies? Why are dragonflies attracted to polished black tombstones?

Answering those questions was the basis of the physics Ig Nobel.

Germans claimed both the Chemistry Prize and the Medicine Prize. Researchers found that an itch on the left side of your body can be relieved by looking in a mirror and scratching your right side and vice versa.

The honors in chemistry were accorded to scandal-plagued Volkswagen, “for solving the problem of excessive automobile pollution emissions by automatically,

electromechanically producing fewer emissions whenever the cars are being tested.”

Four of five Canadian and American researchers traveled to Cambridge, Mass., to receive the Peace Prize at the Sept. 22 ceremony. They were honored “for their scholarly study called ‘On the Reception and Detection of Pseudo-Profound Bullshit.’”

Pseudo-profound bullshit was defined as “seemingly impressive assertions that are presented as true and meaningful but are actually vacuous (e.g.

Wholeness quiets infinite phenomena.)”

Two Brits shared the Biology Prize: “Charles Foster, for living in the wild as— at different times— a badger, an otter, a deer, a fox and a bird; and Thomas Thwaites, for creating prosthetic extensions of his limbs that allowed him to keep company with goats.”

The Psychology Prize honored the work of six researchers who asked 1,000 liars how often they lied, and for deciding whether or not to believe the answers. The Perception Prize went to two Japanese scientists for their investigation into “whether things look different when you bend over and view them between your legs.” It turns out that perception of size and distance is affected.

If you doubt these Ig Nobels measure up to the “laugh, then think” criterion, consider how many guys laughed at rats in pants and then checked the labels on their underwear.

The Nobels are never funny, but they do draw attention to deep thinking. Critics say the annual awards are anachronistic, that the categories need to be updated by adding disciplines like ecology. They are probably encouraged by the Swedish Academy’s choice of Dylan over laureates-in-waiting Don DeLillo and Philip Roth—evidence that the times, they are a changin’. CW

THE NOBELS ARE NEVER FUNNY, BUT THEY DO DRAW ATTENTION TO DEEP THINKING.

Send feedback to: comments@cityweekly.net

STAFF BOX

Readers can comment at cityweekly.net

Who would you award a Nobel Prize to and for what?

Sarah Arnoff: To Donald Trump for his promises of peace in the Middle East.

Lance Gudmundsen: I’d nominate John Saltas for literature … because I need a raise.

Rhett Wilkinson: Walt Disney, because 32 Academy Award wins should equal one Nobel Prize.

Tyeson Rogers: The Nobel Prize should go to Michael A. Wood Jr. He is the only police officer I have ever seen offer the same respect he wants in return.

Pete Saltas: Art Director Derek Carlisle should get the Nobel Prize for physics.

I’m not sure how he works with Enrique and me piecing the paper together every week, but he does it.

Enrique Limón: I’d give a boozy Peace Prize to Pete Saltas for the bottle of whiskey I took from his office and never plan on giving back.

Randy Harward: Nobel Prize in Breakfast Cereal: Post, for Waffle Crisp (and Fruity Pebbles).

Sierra Sessions: I would give my mother a Nobel Prize because … Wait! She already received one the day I was born.

Andrea Harvey: JK Rowling for literature, Emma Watson for being my idol, Barack Obama for being a baller president, Hillary Clinton for being a Nasty Woman, and myself because I could really use the cash prize.

Jeremiah Smith: I would give the prize for poetry to John Fogerty. I know that sounds out there, but if Dylan gets one, all bets are off.

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The license plate on the truck reads “FOLKRKR”—a seemingly stark contrast to its driver, Chief Warrant Officer 2 Kate Anderson, clad in smartly pressed digital camouflage and a matching hat concealing her long, golden hair. After guards search our vehicle, we adjourn to a conference room table in the hangar at the Roland R. Wright Air National Guard Base for a chat before she hops in her Lakota LUH-72A and flies away.

What are the objectives of your two flights today?

We’re strictly a civil support aircraft. It’s non-deployable and has no weapons, but we still go do low-level terrain flight and go up in the mountains and do pinnacle landings, like we’d do to rescue a lost hiker.

Was your first impulse to serve your country or to fly?

Flight, definitely. My dad had a dual-prop ultralight throughout my childhood and he’d take me up flying. When I was 7, he took me to the Black Rock Desert, where some NASA guys were shooting off rockets. One of them sent me pictures of what the satellites sent back. I still have them. So until I was 14, I didn’t wanna just be a pilot, I wanted to be an astronaut.

Then you joined the Army …

Yeah, but you can’t go ‘street-to-seat.’ They wanted to make me a [refueler]. Instead, I became a Tropo-scatter communication system operator and maintainer. Very tactical, very cool for a first appointment. I was 18 when I went overseas to do that. Then I was a drill sergeant for about three years before I picked up a combat journalism slot out of Ft. Custer, Mich. I was accepted to flight school right after college, and my first appointment was Operation Iraqi Freedom 2. I’ve been in the Army now for 15 years and I’ve been an officer for five.

Tell me about being LGBTQ in the military.

Maybe I’m the anomaly, but I’ve never had trouble. I gave my fellow females respect and space. I was chivalrous; I always got up extra early to shower alone. When people found out, it wasn’t a big deal because I’ve always been a good drill sergeant and a proficient pilot. When I came out to my commander, he supported me but warned me about good ol’ boys. I told him, ‘That’s fine. I just want you to know because the holiday party is coming up and I’m bringing my beautiful girlfriend.’

What about being a folk musician in the military during these divided times?

I’m so torn. Talia Keys—a good friend of mine—posted a video of one of my favorite female musicians burning the flag. I respect Talia, and freedom of speech, so much. But my solider side just wept. I remember being 18, terrified and away from home, but the flag on my shoulder helped me feel connected to the whole country that I was fighting for. It is such a symbol of hope, but it’s also one of the top symbols used in propaganda. So it is a tough time to be a woman, LGBT, soldier, folk-rocker. In true folk, you reflect [the times]; it feels like we’re on the edge. It’s like when I get to go up and fly. There’s something unearthly, fantastic, surreal and tranquil about being in a bubble of air 2,000 feet above the ground, and you know you’ve got 12,000 shaft horsepower to stop you from falling, but there’s still that natural butterfly in your stomach.

—RANDY HARWARD comments@cityweekly.net

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BY CECIL ADAMS SLUG SIGNORINO

STRAIGHT DOPE Deodorized What’s the deal with the new crop of bathroom odor-reducing sprays that have come out over the past 10 years or so? How do they neutralize the nastiest bathroom stench and replace it with a delightful scent almost immediately?

—Karl Schoettler Forget a better mousetrap. You really want the world to beat a path to your door?

Find a way to make farts smell like lilacs and strawberries. The air-freshener people have been doing their best for decades now, of course: teaching us to feel shame about smells intrinsic to ordinary human existence and peddling a succession of new and improved products designed to obscure them. And the products often are new; we can agree on that. But—your own experience notwithstanding, Karl—it’s a lot trickier to demonstrate that they’re improved.

For some background, let’s recall the words of an internationally recognized expert: “There are three basic ways of getting rid of undesirable odors: masking them with stronger scents, such as the ubiquitous lemon and pine fragrances; chemically dissolving or absorbing them, as with activated charcoal or silica gel; and numbing out your nose, so you can’t smell a damn thing.” This expert, of course, was me, speaking deep from within the last century—in 1980, to be exact, not long after air fresheners had moved on from using formaldehyde as a nasal anesthetic.

Needless to say, manufacturers have rolled out countless new smell-fighting products since. Some of the most successful (and perhaps the ones you’re thinking of) have been marketed as “odor eliminators”—notably Procter & Gamble’s Febreze line, which reached $1 billion in sales in 2011. Here the active ingredient is a chemical of a type called cyclodextrins; their molecules are roughly funnel-shaped, and have a particular ability to bind with what are known as hydrophobic molecules, which resist contact with water.

The more problematic odor molecules, tending to be hydrophobic, get trapped inside the funnels and are thus rendered unsmellable.

Meanwhile, the spray’s own scent fills the air.

Or that’s the idea. In one Febreze Air Effects ad, blindfolded volunteers were unknowingly placed in close quarters with barnyard animals and raw fish but professed to smell only a pleasant floral aroma; when Consumer Reports tried to replicate this, though, their subjects had no problem picking out the fouler odors, and remarked on the chemical smell of the spray as well.

Many air fresheners, including the allbusiness Ozium (beloved of surreptitious stoners) as well as friendlier supermarket brands, bill themselves as antibacterial or antimicrobial. Effectiveness aside, this premise makes some sense on paper: The dreaded fecal smell, for instance, is bacterial in origin, a molecular stew of things like methyl mercaptan, hydrogen sulfide and dimethyl sulfide—collectively known as volatile sulfur compounds. (These same VSCs, curiously and grossly enough, also cause halitosis.)

When we last discussed this topic, environmental concerns had just put the kibosh on the ozone-puncturing CFC-powered aerosols the industry long favored. Reformulated sprays are still going strong, but alternate delivery systems have proliferated wildly. The best-known might be the plug-in, which dissolves a fragrant goo via electrical heat and disperses the vapor. Of course, this is just a fancied-up take on the old-fashioned diffuser, where a candle heats a basin full of scented wax or oil.

Then there’s some stuff called (welcome to the brave new world of product branding) Poo Pourri, which you’re supposed to spray into the toilet bowl before getting down to business—it supposedly forms a protective film of oil on the water’s surface, trapping nasty smells below. I can’t speak to how well this works, but the fact that the oil is strongly scented suggests the film might not be as protective as users might hope.

As you wage total war on bathroom odors, though, be aware that some air-freshener contents aren’t things you want in the house.

After a 2007 report by the Natural Resources Defense Council revealed that a variety of air fresheners contained chemicals called phthalates—which might interfere with the body’s hormone production—some manufacturers changed their formulas. It’s hard to know what else might be in there, though; federal regulations don’t require labels to list fragrance ingredients by name, but testing in 2012 found that air-freshener fragrances included compounds that might contribute to asthma or other health problems. Literature from the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission baldly states that air fresheners “release pollutants more or less continually.” Of course there are cases where concealing odor is just a bad idea. The smell of mold doesn’t mean you need better air freshener.

But if your nose is so dainty it simply must not smell a fart, consider a time-honored remedy: Light a match. It actually works—though not, as many believe, because the flame initiates a chemical reaction that neutralizes the smell. (Without delving too deeply into the dubious pleasures of pyroflatulence, fartlighters are not typically combusting methane, but rather odorless hydrogen.) Instead, sulfur in the match head becomes sulfur dioxide, the piercing smell of which leaves your olfactory receptors too confused to register the stench of methyl mercaptan. n Send questions to Cecil via StraightDope.com or write him c/o Chicago Reader, 350 N. Orleans, Chicago 60654.

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12 | DECEMBER 15, 2016

NEWS Let it Snow

SAFETY

“We tend to become a little more complacent because we’re not typically dealing with inclement weather conditions.”

—John Gleason, Utah Department of Transportation

Local professor conducts traffic study to improve winter storm preparedness.

BY DYLAN WOOLF HARRIS dwharris@cityweekly.net @DylantheHarris

BROCK MESKIN

O

n Jan. 26, 2011, midday snow clouds suddenly blanketed the skies along the East Coast and unleashed powdery precipitation. Several major metropolitan areas were covered, including Washington, D.C. To University of Utah professor Richard Medina, the storm served as a starting point in researching how weather disrupts urban systems. He aims to determine which spots are prime for automobile accidents in Salt Lake City during downpours—information that could potentially cut down on road hazards. This understanding of how cities and storms interweave is unavoidable in light of a predictably warming globe that is prone to fitful fluctuations of extreme weather.

Medina’s methodology in the U study will mirror work he did in D.C. when bucket-loads of snow fell to the earth, and something resembling chaos ensued.

During the storm, 911 dispatchers received more than 1,500 calls and another 1,300 were dialed to administration lines. It knocked out power to 400,000 D.C.-area homes. In a research paper co-authored by Medina, the storm is described as having suddenly sprung on the residents and commuters in the nation’s capital, adding to the pandemonium.

“This storm was unexpected,” states the report, which was published this year. “Many motorists were left stranded and others abandoned their vehicles on the roads to seek shelter.”

More than 7 inches of snow was recorded at the nearby Dulles International Airport, and the city didn’t have the resources ready to clear the roads.

As one might expect, emergency responders saw a spike in car crashes. In less than 24 hours, the Fairfax County Police Department documented more than 1,000 accidents.

The conclusion that crashes occur in snowstorms is no surprise. What Medina and his colleagues aim to pinpoint, however, is where accidents are most likely to occur and what other factors contribute, such as speed, lighting and the condition of the pavement.

“What we saw in D.C. was that accidents were kind of scattered in the sys-

Instead of focusing on one storm, professor Richard Medina will pore over Salt Lake City traffic data for the past five years. tem, but over time they stabilized, ended up being in specific places and that’s where they stayed,” he says. “There was some weird stability in the system where the accidents occurred.”

In other words, there seemed to be spots more conducive to car crashes.

The snow added to the danger, but specific areas were already vulnerable.

And Medina predicts the same is true in Salt Lake City.

“The whole premise is we have an urban system that’s built with vulnerabilities,” he says. “When you get a big storm, it agitates that system.”

Medina, who previously worked at George Mason University near D.C., says a storm of that magnitude hits every several years. This interim gives residents and commuters enough time to scrub from their minds the pains of the last snowfall. It also leads to frightening conditions when storms do occur.

When the city is snow-bombed at night, schools and businesses have the option of closing, allowing people to stay home and off the treacherous roads.

“In D.C., they’re just not prepared for that type of storm,” he says. “They shut down everything when it happens.

The problem is when everybody goes to work and then a storm comes that is unexpected and it dumps 2 feet of snow and everyone has to get home.”

Even though Salt Lake City drivers are by and large more attuned to driving in the snow, Medina is determined to identify spots of vulnerability that are exacerbated by inclement weather. Instead of focusing on one storm, however, the professor will pore over Salt Lake City traffic data for the past five years.

He intends to begin combing through data with students next semester to test

his hypothesis.

“We still have an urban system and there’s going to be vulnerabilities somewhere—whether it’s poor speed limit, or poor lighting, or too many potholes on the road—that even when we have storms, you should have accidents that, over time, you see those vulnerable spaces get worse and worse,” he says.

The data is intended to be predictive and ultimately corrective. Drivers who are aware of an area’s vulnerabilities, in theory, will be better equipped to take precautions. And city and state officials can push for safety measures once they know where to look.

Drivers in this state, some say, have plenty of room for improvement. The Salt Lake Tribune recently ran a story whose headline identified Utah drivers as the nation’s worst. The article was based on a ranking by QuoteWizard, which pegged Utahns to be the second-worst offenders for accidents and speeding.

“Surprising for a state known for its non-drinking populace, Utah actually made the top 10 for DUIs, coming in at No. 9,” QuoteWizard, a site that dispenses insurance information, states. “On the bright side, Utah missed our list of worst states for fatalities, so at least fewer people are dying in all those accidents.”

QuoteWizard did not delve into the hazards caused by icy roads, however.

The Utah Department of Transportation provided City Weekly with traffic data logged from January 2013 to the beginning of this year.

In that time period, October through January—typically snowy months— had more traffic accidents. Interestingly, crashes in the summer months were, on average, more severe than those in the other seasons.

UDOT spokesperson John Gleason says anecdotally, people feel more at ease in the summertime.

“We tend to become a little more complacent because we’re not typically dealing with inclement weather conditions,” he says in an email. “During the winter months, people are a little more cautious when driving. Many of the crashes that occur during snow storms and icy conditions are minor fender benders or slide-offs. During the winter months, these crashes happen more frequently, but are often less severe.”

When isolating data to Salt Lake County, month-to-month crash numbers don’t fluctuate quite as much as they do on a state level. December, however, has been the leading crash month in the county over the past few years.

Documenting the crashes between 2013 and the beginning of this year, UDOT calculated more than 12,000 of the 165,000 occurred statewide during times of snow, sleet or hail.

Although the percentage of crashes that occur during snow, sleet or hail amounts to a small percentage of the total crashes, they should be viewed in the proper context.

Between Jan. 1, 2013, and Jan. 1, 2016, Salt Lake City experienced unusually dry weather. The total snowfall recorded at the Salt Lake City International Airport during those three years is just over 109 inches, according to the National Weather Service’s monthly climate reports. This means there were far fewer days during the year with snow on the ground. Between February 2014 and November 2015, no single month accumulated more snow than the amount that hit D.C. on Medina’s day of study. CW

NEWS C A M P U S S E C U R I T Y Stepping In

HITS&MISSES

BY KATHARINE BIELE @kathybiele

Net Metering

To curb campus rape, colleges train students on how to intervene.

BY ANNIE KNOX comments@cityweekly.net @anniebknox

GEORGE VALPREDA

I

Following an Oct. 31 report that a man in a Halloween mask raped a student at gunpoint in her car on campus, student participation in the U’s bystander training sessions has skyrocketed.

Trumped Utahns

The nation is all a-twitter over the prospect of a new “conservative” Supreme Court justice. It can make you either giddy or aghast. Utahns shivered with excitement when the rightish Washington Examiner came out with a story on which of @realDonaldTrump’s picks are “more Scalia-like.” It’s not just the prospect of a friendly justice, but the idea that one of our own is on the shortlist.

That Utahn is Utah Supreme Court Justice Thomas Lee, because—you know— making America Great Again is all about “orginalism.” His brother Sen. Mike Lee calls him a rock star and notes an obsession with disco. Given Trump’s delight at teasing Utah hopefuls, there’s no certainty that Lee will be chosen, but disco would certainly take us back in time.

Transparency, Please

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DECEMBER 15, 2016 | 13

There was plenty of news about Cody Brotherson, the officer killed in the line of duty. “But almost nothing is known about those accused of killing him,” wrote Deseret News reporter McKenzie Romero. She and a coalition of media are setting out to change that because it’s not just one case.

Juvenile records in Utah are presumed open but are in reality closed unless you have ESP. Judges and the district attorney seem eager to close cases from public view, although the public has a clear interest that goes well beyond prying into private matters. Most news outlets do not publish juvenile names, but the details of any crime are vital to public safety and understanding. In an age of false news and innuendo, we should all strive for truth and transparency.

weekly newsletter, as well as week-long pushes that aim to raise awareness about sexual assault.

A U of U spokeswoman says it is happy to increase the offerings if demand continues to grow.

Two-thousand miles east of the university’s Salt Lake City campus, New Jersey’s Rutgers University has also struggled to attract students to its bystander programs.

Rutgers offers 45-minute introductory trainings and a longer, seven-hour session.

“Getting students to attend that and getting to staff that is a challenge. We want as many students as possible to go through that,” Laura Luciano, Rutgers’ interim director of violence and intervention, says. Like the U, Luciano’s university has committed to offering more trainings, but has not set any specific benchmarks toward the goal.

Rutgers has, however, grown Luciano’s budget enough to allow her to hire a male educator in her office to increase participation among male students. The new staff member hosts discussions on sexual assault geared at men on campus, who are less likely than their female counterparts to attend the optional bystander sessions.

But the one-time lessons might not be enough. The courses should be continuous, according to a 2014 analysis of prevention programs by the Centers for Disease Control.

Receiving the information only once is “not effective at changing behavior in the long-term,” researchers working for the CDC write. Even though they might be helpful as part of a larger strategy, “they are not likely to have any impact on rates of violence if implemented as a stand-alone strategy or as a primary component of a prevention plan.” CW

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for her friends as they were leaving a house party. One guy tells her not to worry; he already told her friends he would take her home. So what do they do?

You don’t necessarily have to confront him or call the police, said Krista Olsen, a Utah State University student who came for inspiration to improve a similar program at her own school.

“There’s different ways of stepping in,” she said. “Even if it’s just talking to other people around you and saying, ‘does this situation seem out of place?’ or alerting someone in authority.”

“It’s one thing just to learn about bystander training, but to be able to know how to apply it to situations is very helpful,” Olsen said.

The November evening class also reviewed Utah’s legal definitions of sexual assault, as well as victim-blaming myths, including the common belief that a woman wearing a short skirt or low-cut top is asking for sex.

It was the most well-attended of any optional trainings the U has hosted. Keen attributes the turnout to an Oct. 31 report that a man in a Halloween mask raped a student at gunpoint in her car in a campus parking lot. The reported attack continued to rattle students the following week, and many at the training wanted to know what they could do to help prevent similar assaults.

Only a handful of students, by contrast, showed up to a pair of October sessions.

“We have found that the best attendance is seen when students feel connected to the cause,” Dean of Students Lori McDonald said in a statement, “and encourage their friends to participate.” The U gets the word out via its digital campus calendar and its

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

t’s a Wednesday evening in November, and about three dozen students and others are gathering for a zero-credit seminar on what might be the biggest issue on college campuses today.

The group settles in for a discussion on sexual assault as they munch on chocolatechunk cookies in the Olpin Union auditorium at the University of Utah.

“Why is it very important to talk about rape and sexual violence?” Kassy Keen, program manager for the U’s Center for Student Wellness, asks.

“Because it happens all the time,” one participant answers.

“To get rid of myths,” another adds.

“Victims can’t speak for themselves,” a third says, when they’re too scared to tell friends and family.

Keen nods. “It’s on you—more than ever— to have a dialogue about this,” she says.

And it’s on the U to spark the discussion.

Colleges nationwide are in the spotlight for how they handle sexual assault after it happens. But federal guidelines also require them to be proactive. Universities in Utah and across the country broadcast the message with posters, flyers and online videos. Most ask students to complete online training on healthy relationships.

But experts say the most effective programs also include real-life lessons, in which educators like Keen coach small groups of students on how to get and give consent, respect other people’s boundaries and intervene in troubling situations that they think could lead to sexual assault.

Campaigning through posters and social media blitzes helps raise awareness, the National Sexual Violence Resource Center wrote in a 2013 review of prevention research, “but it also should augment inperson prevention programming.”

It’s common for campuses to offer oneto three-hour bystander trainings, and students often receive certificates for completing longer ones. But the sessions largely are infrequent and poorly attended.

“We have limited resources and staff,” Keen says. “We have to focus.” The trainings are mandatory, she notes, for student athletes and members of fraternities and sororities. The rest of the student body can choose to attend trainings offered two or three times a semester.

In the November class, students took turns putting the lessons to use by participating in role play. In one scenario, for example, students found a woman searching

Wow, money does drive everything, doesn’t it? Ever since Rocky Mountain Power suggested a rate hike because of the evil specter of solar power, customers have been signing up for net metering in droves, The Salt Lake Tribune reported.

Apparently, even people considering solar are signing up in anticipation or fear.

Net metering credits solar energy system owners for the electricity they add to the grid. Customers are only billed for their net energy use. RMP has been whining about how unfair it all is, but an MIT report last year suggested ditching net metering because cost-shifting is controversial and results in a pushback against residential customers. No duh. Other studies say the opposite, and a Dan Jones survey showed most Utahns are against raising rates for solar. The Public Service Commission has put off a decision so that stakeholders can hammer out an agreement. Maybe Robert Redford’s Time magazine piece helped by calling utilities aggressive and irresponsible.

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14 | DECEMBER 15, 2016

THE

CITIZEN REVOLT

OCHO

In a week, you can

CHANGE THE WORLD

THE LIST OF EIGHT

BY BILL FROST

@Bill _ Frost

CELTIC HOLIDAY CELEBRATIONS

Salt Lake is host to several events celebrating the Yule, also know as the festival of Alban Arthuan to the Celts. It marked when the Druids gathered for the winter solstice. This season, you can hear Utopia at the Cathedral Church of St. Mark bringing back Celtic favorites with songs and instrumentals from Ireland, Scotland, Wales, the Isle of Man and Cape Breton Island, Nova Scotia. You can also hear the celestial voices of multi-platinum Irish singing sensation Celtic Woman as they present Home for Christmas with the Utah Symphony. The event showcases music from the all-female music ensemble’s second Christmas album, Home for Christmas, including holiday favorites “I’ll Be Home for Christmas” and “Silent Night.” Utopia: Cathedral Church of St. Mark, 231 E. 100 South, 801-322-3400, Saturday, Dec. 17, 8 p.m.; Sunday, Dec. 18, 5 p.m., suggested donation $10-$15.

Home for Christmas with the Utah Symphony: Abravanel Hall, 123 W. South Temple, Wednesday, Dec. 21, 7:30 p.m., $40, UtahSymphony.org

Eight more recount campaigns to come from Jill Stein:

8. Fifty Shades Darker (“Even

with a box of wine, that number seems high.”)

7. The Best Metal Performance

ART AT THE MAIN HOLIDAY MART

2017 Grammy nominations (“Korn? Seriously?”)

Oh yeah, it’s the holidays. Did you forget?

Or did you just procrastinate? Art at the Main is a cooperative art gallery showcasing and selling artwork from some of Utah’s best local artists. In addition to providing promising Utah artists a venue to show and sell art, Art at the Main hosts informative and educational art events for the public, including featured artist receptions, art demonstrations and classes for children. Main Library Urban Room, 210 E. 400 South, 801-5248200, through Jan. 4, 1-5 p.m., free, ArtAtTheMain.com

6. The implausibility of

100-percent renewable energy (“We can achieve at least 150 percent … because … it renews … right?”)

5. The number of planets

in the solar system (“There’s no ‘Mars.’ The rescue of Matt Damon was staged!”)

4. Taco Bell’s 7-Layer Burrito (“Don’t ask how I know … Just light a match before you go in there.”)

3. The pop duo Twenty One

Pilots (“Nineteen American Pilots are unaccounted for!”)

2. City Weekly’s Best of Utah 2016 (“Some of these categories sound totally made-up.”)

1. Her own presidential election results (“One percent? No way.

Have you heard me?”)

CHRISTMAS BIRD COUNT FOR KIDS

UPCOMING GAMES FRIDAY, DEC. 16 / SATURDAY, DEC. 17, 7PM Weekend Special $20 Combo: Lower Bowl Ticket, Chicken Cheesesteak Sandwich, Soft Drink

Friday: Teddy Bear Toss: Bring a Stuffed Animal To Throw on the ice after Grizzlies First Goal for local children during the holidays Saturday: Postgame Skate With Team: Skate Rental $2

FOLLOW US ON

AND BUY TICKETS NOW AT

UTAHGRIZZLIES.COM

Do you have a young bird-lover in your life?

Bring them and the fam to the Christmas Bird Count for Kids (CBC4Kids) hosted

by Tracy Aviary. CBC4Kids is a great way to introduce children to bird identification and is appropriate for ages 7 and up.

Count results are reported to the official Salt Lake Christmas Bird Count, so kids get to see how they can make an impact through this important citizen science project. The Christmas Bird Count for Little Chicks is also offered this year. Designed for ages 7 and under, this program features bird-themed stories, games and crafts that you can join with your little one at your leisure. Tracy Aviary, 589 E. 1300 South, 801-596-8500, Saturday, Dec. 17, 9 a.m., free, Bit.ly/2hdz8x4

—KATHARINE BIELE Send tips to revolt@cityweekly.net

S NEofW the

Ecret-Say Ode-Kay American gangsters traditionally use euphemisms and nicknames (“Chin,” “The Nose”) to disguise criminal activities, but among details revealed at a November murder trial in Sydney, Australia, was that members of the “Brothers 4 Life” gang might have used “pig latin.” In a phone-tapped conversation played in court, one of the men on trial was overheard cunningly telling a henchman that a colleague had been “caught with the un-gay in the ar-kay.” A helpful witness then took the stand to explain to the jury that the defendant thus knew there was “a gun in the car.” At press time, the trial was still in progress.

BY CHUCK SHEPHERD

n Jacques Rouschop, 44, went to trial in October in Ottawa, Ontario, denying that he had raped two sex workers—which he said was physically impossible because at the time he, at 5-foot-6, weighed 400 lbs., had a 66-inch waist, and a two-inch-long penis (erect), plus a painful hernia. He was not asked to “flash” the jury, but an examining nurse verified the details. (Despite the lack of DNA evidence, video or a rape kit, Rouschop was convicted.)

WEIRD

Recurring Themes (recent incidents that are not “firsts”) An “academic” paper composed entirely of gibberish was accepted for a lecture at the International Conference on Atomic and Nuclear Physics in Atlanta last month. Prof. Christoph Bartneck of New Zealand’s University of Canterbury said he began writing (using Apple iOS) by entering “atomic” and “nuclear” into his tablet and “randomly” following whatever “autocomplete” suggestions emerged. (Sample sentence: “The atoms of a better universe will have the right for the same as you are the way we shall have to be a great place…” Conclusion: “Power is not a great place for a good time.”)

n Judges can issue “material witness” warrants to lock up innocent people to ensure their trial testimony, but rarely do it to actual crime victims. In December 2015, the Houston, Texas, district attorney obtained such a warrant jailing a rape victim (“Jenny”) to secure her testimony against a serial rapist she could identify, because Jenny, exceptionally fragile, was hesitant.

She finally took the stand, and the rapist is now serving multiple life terms, but Jenny’s added trauma (especially since police mistakenly placed her into the jail’s general population instead of a separate wing) provoked her to file a lawsuit against the DA, which is still in progress. And in November, likely to Jenny’s satisfaction, the DA, Devon Anderson, lost re-election. n Another animal survives with mouth-to-mouth: In November, an 18-year-old man who allegedly tried to steal koi carp fish from a holding tank (pending their return to a pond at Castle Park in Colchester, England) botched the job, resulting in the deaths of most of them, including some of the oldest

n More Sperm Wars: Most couples who create embryos to freeze for the future agree that the consent of both is required for actual use. Two former couples are on opposite sides of the issue: Actor Sofia Vergara’s ex-boyfriend wants their embryo brought to term (but she does not), and Missouri woman Jalesia McQueen wants two she created with then-husband Justin Gadberry brought to term (but he does not). In the latter case, an appeals court ruled for Gadberry in November (though the couple already have two children from frozen embryos). In the Vergara case, the ex, Nick Loeb, is trying for an extraordinary court ruling based on his “inability to otherwise procreate” (since two subsequent girlfriends adamantly chose abortions). n Victims in News of the Weird stories have been hit by “flying” animals that should not be airborne—even once by a cow (falling off a cliff) and once by a horse (that fell from a trailer on a highway overpass). On Nov. 17, in Clarksville, Tenn., an unassuming pedestrian along Dover Road was smacked by a deer that sailed into him after it collided with a minivan. The pedestrian was taken to the hospital with broken bones. n The debate over whether animals have “rights” enforceable by judges took a sharp turn upward in November when a judge in Argentina ordered the reluctant Mendoza Zoo to release a chimpanzee (Cecilia) to a sanctuary in Brazil because the zoo had denied her the “right” to animal “essence”—to socialize with other chimps (since her last two playmates had died more than two years earlier). Mendoza Zoo was heavily criticized following the death last summer of Arturo, dubbed the “world’s saddest polar bear,” since he had suffered an even worse fate, with no playmates for 22 years.

n These days, body orifices seem hardly more unusual as storage areas for contraband than one’s shirt pocket, but it was news in Fort Pierce, Fla., in October when police said that Rosalia Garcia, 28, badly failed at handling glass crack pipes. Officers were called to a domestic fight in which Garcia’s boyfriend accused her of slashing him with her crack pipe, and later, while being booked on the charge, she told police she had another crack pipe in her genitals. Then, in front of an officer, she accidentally cut herself on the pipe as she removed it. n In America, tens of thousands of pedestrians are hit by cars every year, but rare is the driver who runs over himself. Periodically, News of the Weird updates readers: In October in Orlando, William Edwards, 28, leaving the Dancer’s Royale strip club at 2:30 a.m., started his truck, drove, fell out, had it run over his leg, and saw the truck drift down a street and into a home, injuring the occupant.

Earlier in October, a 25-year-old man in Scugog, Ontario, backing his car down his driveway with the door open, fell out, had it run over his leg, and saw it hit two mailbox posts. (Both times, as in nearly every similar case, alcohol was involved.)

Update Four innocent Texas women caught up in the 1990s’ “child sex abuse” panics, who served a cumulative 56 years in prison after their 1997 convictions, were completely exonerated in November by a Texas judge following the recanting of one “victim” and the retracting of the principal forensic “evidence.” The four women, then in their 20s, had been accused of genitally abusing nieces, ages 7 and 9, of one of the women.

In the 1990s, beginning with the San Diego-area “McMartin School” case, it became easy for prosecutors to convince ready-to-believe jurors that their little toddlers and adolescents were sexually abused in Satanic cults and by hordes of perverts, “proved” by self-assured counselors misapplying “science” and by fantastical “testimony” by children themselves, taken seriously by adults somehow unaware that children have imaginations and a need to please adults.

Thanks this week to Chuck Hamilton, Andrew Hastie and the News of the Weird Board of Editorial Advisors.

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

n Divorcing couples who cannot decide who gets to keep a treasured family home leave the decision to a judge, and in October, a court in Moscow ordered a couple to build a brick wall dividing in two their expensive house in an elite neighborhood. Apparently contractors’ measurements have been taken, and the couple has assumed dominion over their respective areas, even to the extent that a friend of the wife had become “trapped” on the husband’s side and prevented from leaving until she called emergency services. Furthermore, the wife must have a second stairway built, as the existing one is on the husband’s side.

n A 23-year-old man in Tampa, Fla., was hanging out with his cousin in September, and nearby were a gun and a bulletproof vest—and the result was predictable. According to police, the first man donned the vest and said he wondered whether it “still worked”; the cousin picked up the gun and said, “Let’s see.” The cousin, Alexandro Garibaldi, 24, was charged with manslaughter.

and most visitor-friendly of the species. Park rangers managed to rescue several, and one ranger even gave mouth-to-mouth resuscitation to three carp. (A biologist told BBC News that carp are noted for surviving on low oxygen and might not have needed the mouth-to-mouth.)

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| CITY WEEKLY |

DECEMBER 15, 2016 | 15

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16 | DECEMBER 15, 2016

ESSENTIALS

Alex Velluto

Every September, we leave it up to the readers of City Weekly to choose who they believe is the most deserving of the Best of Utah Arts awards. This year, they spoke with their votes and awarded Alex Velluto as the Best Stand-Up Comedian for 2016. It was a nomination and win that the Utah stand-up community was happy to see Velutto pick up—and an achievement that was not lost on the comedian at all.

“It was cool. I was nominated last year and had everyone vote for my dad, who is a professional illustrator, as Best Comic Book Artist while they were voting for me,” he says. “He ended up winning last year, and I lost. So it was good to get another Best of Utah award for the Velluto family.”

Already a veteran of the SLC comedy scene and having performed around the country in festivals and competitions—plus co-hosting the Happy Valley Podcast—Velluto is familiar to Utahns who appreciate his self-deprecating outlook on everything. Now, fresh off the win and the exposure, he headlines his own show at Ogden’s Wiseguys, doing two nights on the 25th Street stage.

Velutto is stoked to perform. “I love that room. The crowds are great and it’s a really fun place to do comedy,” he says. “If you’ve seen me before, you can expect to see a lot of new jokes you haven’t heard before, and some classic jokes that I’ve been working on making better.” (Gavin Sheehan) Alex Velluto @ Wiseguys Ogden, 269 25th Street, 801-622-5588, Dec. 16-17, 8 p.m., $12. WiseguysComedy.com

Complete Listings Online @ CityWeekly.net

FRIDAY 12.16

Dan Karlan: The 101 Most Influential People Who Never Lived Ten years ago, Dan Karlan, Allan Lazar and Jeremy Salter were retired or semi-retired scientists with an idea for a spin on Michael Hart’s book The 100 Most Influential People in History. A decade later, and now in its 15th printing, The 101 Most Influential People Who Never Lived is still an entertaining and intriguing look at some of the fictional creations who most shaped our culture— from Batman to Santa Claus, from James Bond to Kermit the Frog.

As the book celebrates its 10th anniversary, coauthor Karlan stops in Salt Lake City to talk about the choices on their list, and the factors that went into their selection. “We looked principally at how many people were influenced, and the nature of that influence,” Karlan says in an email. “In several cases we actually surprised ourselves, when we learned something about a character that caused us to re-evaluate the influence or significance. And each of us brought our own unique perspectives and history to the adventure.”

While the book provides lively reading, it’s also a look at the way the imaginary shapes our thinking—from the way an advertising character can shape our behavior, to the way some deeplyingrained characters’ stories can affect political decision-making. Whether you relate more to “there’s no place like home” Dorothy Gale or to explorers Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock, you’ll get a sense for how much of our world-view can be created based on lives that were never actually lives. (Scott Renshaw) Dan Karlan: The 101 Most Influential People Who Never Lived @ Weller Book Works, 607 Trolley Square, 801-328-2586, Dec. 16, 7 p.m. WellerBookWorks.com

DAVID RAMSFIELD

DAV.D PHOTOGRAPHY

RODNEY NORMAN

FRIDAY 12.16

ENTERTAINMENT PICKS DEC. 15-21, 2016

WILLIAM MORROW PAPERBACKS

the

FRIDAY 12.16

SATURDAY 12.17

Being different is OK; we just need to accept those differences in ourselves and others. That’s the message of Diary of a Worm, a Spider and a Fly—a children’s play by Joan Cushing from Salt Lake Acting Co. Based on the book series by Doreen Cronin, the play follows different species as they learn to embrace their own unique characteristics and their friends.

As the title suggests, Worm (Sky Kawai), Spider (Cameron Fleck) and Fly (Emilie Starr) attempt to understand their quirks while navigating childhood. Starting on the first day of school, the trio—along with Ant (Joseph Paul Branca) and Butterfly (Micki Martinez)—learns about themselves and their classmates in Mrs. McBee’s (Alicia M. Washington) class. What makes each of them interesting is also what sets them apart—something they all eventually come to understand.

In addition to a message of love and caring, the play also teaches kids—and their parents— scientific facts about each of the characters.

If nothing else, it might make you think twice before rolling up a newspaper to disptach a wayward insect.

Hopefully, this musical will not only teach audiences to be accepting, but also help foster a love of theater from a young age. (Missy Bird) Salt Lake Acting Co.: Diary of a Worm, a Spider, and a Fly @ 168 W. 500 North, 801363-7522, through Dec. 28, times vary, $16$26. SaltLakeActingCompany.org

This has been a particularly rough year—all the more reason to put aside our cynicism and succumb to some old-fashioned escapist entertainment. Granted, some of us stopped believing in Santa Claus a long time ago. But then again, it’s good to have something to believe in these days.

And who better to restore our faith than old Saint Nick, the one jolly old elf capable of distracting us from today’s worries and woes.

No wonder then that the Santa celebration offered by the Utah Symphony provides a momentary pause, if only to lift our spirits and hear merry music flush with holiday happenstance.

“Here Comes Santa Claus is a perennial favorite for kids of all ages,” Renee Huang, the orchestra’s director of public relations, says. “It’s a great tradition to get the whole family in the holiday spirit.”

The symphony’s Santa celebration includes perennial favorites, like “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, “White Christmas” and standout selections from “Babes in Toyland” and “The Nutcracker Suite.” And of course the Big Guy makes his appearance before and during the concert. So if you can’t exactly afford everything the kids have on their Christmas lists, it’s a perfect opportunity to refer them to Santa himself.

Taking them to the concert ought to give Mr. Kringle the credibility he deserves. Just ho ho hope it works. (Lee Zimmerman) Utah Symphony: Here Comes Santa Claus @ Abravanel Hall, 123 W. South Temple, 801-355-2787, Dec. 17, 11 a.m. & 12:30 p.m., $11-$21. ArtSaltLake.ArtTix.org

Salt Lake Acting Co.: Diary of a Worm, a Spider and a Fly

Utah Symphony: Here Comes Santa Claus

A&E

DANCE

ERIC CHRISTENSEN

Cracking It Open

Local choreographers attempt unique spins on an old classic, The Nutcracker.

BY KATHERINE PIOLI comments@cityweekly.net

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Odyssey Dance’s ReduxNut-Cracker Longoria’s interpretation sticks closest to the original. “In my mind, our story starts with Clara 10 years later [circa 1920s] at another holiday party. It’s about people,” Longoria says about Clara’s crazy, absinthe-fueled dream. The music remains Tchaikovsky’s, though it’s arranged and performed live by Pixie and the Partygrass Boys as the audience follows the dancers through the beautiful McCune Mansion.

It’s just one more fresh idea, waiting to become a new classic. CW

ODYSSEY DANCE CO.: REDUXNUT-CRACKER

Kingsbury Hall 1395 Presidents Circle, Salt Lake City Dec. 14-23 7:30 p.m.

Saturday matinee, 2 p.m. $20-$40 OdysseyDance.com NOW-ID: IT’S NOT CRACKER

DECEMBER 15, 2016 | 17

McCune Mansion 200 N. Main, Salt Lake City Dec. 20 8 p.m. $55 (includes small bites, drinks and valet parking) MunicipalBallet.com

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MUNICIPAL BALLET CO.: RIVER OF ROSEWATER

Utah Museum of Contemporary Art 20 S. West Temple, Salt Lake City Dec. 16-17 7:30 p.m. $15-$25 NOW-ID.com

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and every one thereafter. “I went every year with my mom,” she says. For BoyeChristensen, the first time was in her hometown of Copenhagen, where she remembered it as “a fantastical journey.”

And for Yeager, the best Nutcrackers were all those he performed in as a dancer for Ballet West.

“I was doing all the major roles a male dancer could do,” he recalls. “One year they let me perform Drosselmeyer, and I would spend hours doing the old-man makeup. I was fortunate to have the chance to perform The Nutcracker under Willam Christensen, but I did it for years and I had my fill. When I started Odyssey Dance Co., I thought I could only do it if I could do something cool with it, something new.”

Making something new from a beloved classic can be dangerous. Choreographers risk treading on sacred ground, on one hand being too derivative, and on the other straying too far and losing the essence that was so alluring. But, they can also score, like Mr. Christensen, and come up with something that freshens up a work, making it more relatable for modern audiences.

This is, of course, what each of these local choreographers has tried to do with the source material, each following a unique sense of style and sense of relevance.

For Yeager, that means getting rid of the nutcracker. “It makes no sense to kids,” he says. “Our nuts come cracked these days.”

So what could be the catalyst for a dream, a portal to other worlds? Your iPhone. In ReduxNut-Cracker, Clara’s phone takes her to Spain, Russia, a field with Angry Birds.

It’s entertaining, and certainly new.

Boye-Christensen also wants a more modern, urban context. “It’s Not Cracker does not follow the traditional narrative,” she says. “I took out the relationship scenes and put the emphasis on a journey of discovery.” She’s also invited the local Bboy Federation dance crew to spice up some battle scenes, and local artist Artemis to spin Tchaikovsky music with a mix of urban sounds.

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magine entering that dreamlike place of The Nutcracker ballet. There’s snow falling on sugar plum fairies.

Marionette dolls come to life. A handsome prince invites you to his beautiful palace.

It’s the kind of magic that appeals to children and adults alike. It’s also a story that appeals to dance companies and choreographers, though maybe for slightly different reasons.

“The Nutcracker is one ballet that every company does because it’s the best-selling thing in their repertoire,” says Derryl Yeager, founder and artistic director of Odyssey Dance Co. The troupe has performed its own modern hip-hop-and-jazz-flavored ReduxNut-Cracker for the last four years.

This year, Yeager and his troupe are not the only ones giving Ballet West a run for their money. Charlotte Boye-Christensen, founder, artistic director and choreographer of NOW-ID, has created It’s Not Cracker as her take on the classic performance, and Sarah Longoria has created an interpretation she’s calling River of Rosewater for her company, Municipal Ballet Co. The Nutcracker hasn’t always been this popular. Originally a short one-act ballet, it opened one week before Christmas in 1892 for a sold-out audience at the Maryinsky Theater in St. Petersburg, Russia—and it received terrible reviews, despite the extraordinary original score by Tchaikovsky.

Part of the problem was the story, adapted from a surprisingly creepy early-19thcentury fairy tale in which a young girl descends into a feverish dream-world of trickery and danger, where an evil rodent mother avenges the deaths of her children.

Eventually, she becomes trapped forever in the kingdom of dolls. The ballet version tried to lighten things up a bit, but the story still felt strange and disjointed.

Fast forward 52 years to San Francisco, 1944. It’s here that the ballet got its classic makeover from choreographer Willam Christensen, who later brought his version to Utah when he started Ballet West. The rest is history.

Every dancer and ballet lover can remember the first time they saw The Nutcracker. Longoria was only 5 or 6 years old when she saw the Santa Barbara Festival Ballet perform it with a live orchestra, but she still remembers that first performance,

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Photographer James Mollison explores the living conditions of children in different circumstances all over the globe in Where Children Sleep at The Leonardo (209 E. 500 South, Salt Lake City, 801531-9800. TheLeonardo.org)

PERFORMANCE THEATER

1147 E. Ashton Ave Salt Lake City , ut 801.484.7996

pibsexchange.com Costumes Year Round Wigs, Make-up & Hats Over 600 Ugly Sweaters

is looking for editorial interns for the spring 2017 term.

Do you love media, want to be part of a thriving newsroom and have a desire to hone your writing chops? We’re on the hunt for hard workers to assist in the inputting of online events and writing of blurbs/articles for our award-winning weekly paper and daily website.

Requirements: • Be available 10-12 hours a week starting Wednesday, Jan. 4.

• An interest in pursuing journalism as a career is a must.

• As is a strong desire to add to City Weekly’s established, alternative voice.

• You think outside the box, know how to take direction and pay attention to detail.

• Ability to get along with others and keep your cool while working on deadline is non-negotiable.

Please send résumé and no more than three published pieces to elimon@cityweekly.net by Friday, Dec. 30.

A Christmas Carol Hale Center Theater Orem, 225 W. 400 North, Orem, 801-226-8600, through Dec. 23, times vary, HaleTheater.org A Fairly Potter Christmas Carol The Ziegfeld Theater, 3934 S. Washington Blvd., Ogden, 855944-2787, through Dec. 23, days and times vary, TheZiegfeldTheater.com Diary of a Worm, a Spider and a Fly Salt Lake Acting Co., 168 W. 500 North, 801363-7522, through Dec. 28, times vary, SaltLakeActingCompany.org (see p. 16) Hedwig & the Angry Inch Eccles Theater, 131 S. Main, Salt Lake City, 801-355-2787, Dec. 20-24, 7:30 p.m., ArtSaltLake.org Nutcracker: Men in Tights Desert Star Playhouse, 4861 S. State, Murray, 801-2662600, through Dec. 31, DesertStar.biz Oliver! Pioneer Theatre Co., 300 S. 1400 East, Ste. 205, Salt Lake City, 801-581-6961, through Dec. 17, times vary, PioneerTheatre.org

DANCE

Municipal Ballet Co.: River of Rosewater McCune Mansion, 200 N. Main, Dec. 20, 5 & 8 p.m., MunicipalBallet.com (see p. 17) Myriad Dance: Lights Downtown Artists Collective, 258 E. 100 South, Dec. 18, 7 p.m., VOAUt.org NOW-ID: It’s Not Cracker Utah Museum of Contemporary Art, 20 S. West Temple, 510-5016915, Dec. 16-17, 6:30 p.m., NOW-ID.com (see p. 17) Ballet West: The Nutcracker Capitol Theatre, 50 W. 200 South, Salt Lake City, 801-355-2787, through Dec. 26, 7:30 p.m.; Saturday matinee, 2 p.m., BalletWest.org Mountain West Ballet: The Nutcracker Mount Jordan Middle School, 9351 S. Mountaineer Lane, Sandy, 801-572-6222, through Dec. 20, 7:30 p.m.; Saturday matinees, noon & 4 p.m., MountainWestBallet.org The ReduxNut-Cracker Kingsbury Hall, 1395 Presidents Circle, Salt Lake City, 801-581-7100, Dec. 14-23, 7:30 p.m.; Dec. 17 matinee, 2 p.m., OdysseyDance.com (see p. 17)

CLASSICAL & SYMPHONY

The American West Symphony and Chorus of Sandy: Joy of the Season Libby Gardner Hall, University of Utah, 1375 Presidents Circle, Salt Lake City, 801-581-6762, Dec. 15, 7:30 p.m., AmericanWestSymphony.com Utah Symphony: Here Comes Santa Claus!

Abravanel Hall, 123 W. South Temple, Salt Lake City, 385-468-1010, Dec. 17, 11 a.m. & 12:30 p.m., UtahSymphony.org (see p. 16) Christmas a la Classique Libby Gardner Hall, 1375 E. Presidents Circle, 801-581-7100, Dec. 17, 7:30 p.m., SaltLakeSymphony.org Utopia Early Music: A Celtic Christmas Cathedral Church of St. Mark, 231 E. 100 South, Dec. 17, 8 p.m. & Dec. 18, 5 p.m., UtopiaEarlyMusic.org The West Valley Symphony Utah Cultural Celebration Center, 1355 W. 3100 South, West Valley City, 801-965-5100, Dec. 19, 7 p.m., CulturalCelebration.org Good Will Toward Men Abravanel Hall, 123 W. South Temple, Salt Lake City, 385-468-1010, Dec. 15, 7:30 p.m., ArtSaltLake.org

COMEDY & IMPROV

Alex Velluto Wiseguys SLC, 269 25 St., Ogden, 801-532-5233, Dec. 16-17, 8 p.m., WiseguysComedy.com (see p. 16) Laughing Stock Improv The Off Broadway Theatre, 272 S. Main, Salt Lake City, 801-355-4628, Fridays & Saturdays, 10 p.m., LaughingStock.us Off the Wall Comedy Improv Draper Historic Theatre, 12366 S. 900 East, Draper, 801-5724144, Saturdays, 10:30 p.m., DraperTheatre.org Open Mic Night Wiseguys SLC, 194 S. 400 West, Salt Lake City, 801-532-5233, Wednesdays, 7:30 p.m., WiseguysComedy.com Yannis Pappas Wiseguys SLC, 194 S. 400 West, 801-532-5233, Dec. 15, 7:30 p.m.; Dec. 16-17, 7 & 9:30 p.m., WiseguysComedy.com

LITERATURE AUTHOR APPEARANCES

Don Karlan: The 101 Most Influential People Who Never Lived Weller Book Works, 607 Trolley Square, 801-328-2586, Dec. 16, 7 p.m.,

moreESSENTIALS WellerBookWorks.com (see p. 16) Gail Chumbely: River of January: Figure Eight Weller Book Works, 607 Trolley Square, 801-328-2586, Jan. 17, 7 p.m., WellerBookWorks.com Susan Johnston: The Gnome in Your Home The King’s English Bookshop, 1511 S. 1500 East, Salt Lake City, 801-484-9100, Dec. 17, 11 a.m.noon, KingsEnglish.com

SPECIAL EVENTS FESTIVALS, FAIRS & MARKETS

Downtown Artist Collective Holiday Market 258 E. 100 South, through Dec. 24, ThursdaySunday, DowntownArtistCollective.org Holiday Craft Market Salt Lake Arts Council, Finch Lane Gallery, 54 Finch Lane, Dec. 2, 10 a.m.

- 9 p.m., SaltLakeArts.org Winter Market Rio Grande Depot, 300 S. Rio Grande St., Salt Lake City, through April 22, 2017, Saturdays, 10 a.m.-2 p.m., SLCFarmersMarket.org

SEASONAL EVENTS

Trees of Diversity Utah Cultural Celebration Center, 1355 W. 3100 South, West Valley City, 801-965-5100, through Dec. 31, Cultural Celebration.org Yule Rock: The Ultimate Festive Sing-A-Long Sugar Space Arts Warehouse, 132 S. 800 West, 801845-6469, Dec. 18, 3 p.m., TheSugarSpace.com

VISUAL ART GALLERIES & MUSEUMS

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Alyce Carrier: Old Work Museum of Contemporary Art, 20 S. West Temple, Salt Lake City, 801-3284201, through Jan. 14, UtahMOCA.org Art Shop Project Gateway Mall, 18 N. Rio Grande St., 801-456-0000, through Dec. 31, ShopTheGateway.com Ben Steele: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly Modern West Fine Art, 177 E. 200 South, Salt Lake City, 801-355-3383, through Jan. 14, ModernWestFineArt.com Drew Conrad: The Desert Is A Good Place To Die CUAC, 175 E. 200 South, Salt Lake City, 385215-6768, through Jan. 13, CUArtCenter.org Jazmine Martinez: Ciclo Vital Mestizo Institute of Culture & Arts, 631 W. North Temple, Ste. 700, Salt Lake City, 801-596-0500, through Jan. 14, Facebook.com/MestizoArts Megan Gibbons: Beyond the Narrative Alice Gallery, 617 E. South Temple, 801-236-7555, through Jan. 13, Monday-Friday, VisualArts.Utah.org Object[ed]: Shaping Sculpture in Contemporary Art Utah Museum of Contemporary Art, 20 S. West Temple, 801-3284201, through Dec. 17, UtahMOCA.org Peter Everett: Transmutation CUAC, 175 E. 200 South, Salt Lake City, 385-215-6768, through Jan. 13, CUArtCenter.org Western Landscapes 1859-1978 David Dee Fine Arts, 1709 E. 1300 South, Ste. 201, Salt Lake City, 801-583-8143, Tuesday-Friday, 1-5:30 p.m., through Jan. 6, DavidDeeFineArts.com Where Children Sleep The Leonardo, 209 E. 500 South, 801-531-9800, through Jan. 31, TheLeonardo.org (see p. 18) Work in Progress Utah Museum of Contemporary Art, 20 S. West Temple, Salt Lake City, 801-3552787, through Jan. 14, UtahMOCA.org

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Breakfast with Santa Discovery Gateway Children’s Museum, 444 W. 100 South, Salt Lake City, 385-355-0503, Dec. 17, 8-10 a.m., DiscoveryGateway.org Brunch with Santa Sheraton Salt Lake City Hotel, 150 W. 500 South, Dec. 17, 10 a.m.-2 p.m., SheratonSaltLakeCityHotel.com Christmas in Color Ed Mayne Street, near Utah Olympic Oval, Kearns, through Dec. 31, MondayThursday, 5:30-10 p.m.; Friday-Saturday, 5:30-11 p.m., ChristmasInColor.net Christmas Village Ogden Amphitheater & City Hall Park, 343 E. 25th St., Ogden, 801-6298214, through Jan. 1, 5 p.m.-midnight, free, ChristmasVillageMap.OgdenCity.com Holiday Lights Art at the Main, 210 E. 400 South, 801-363-4088, through Jan. 4, ArtAtTheMain.com Luminaria: Experience the Light Ashton Gardens at Thanksgiving Point, 3900 N. Garden Drive, Lehi, through Dec. 31, ThanksgivingPoint.org The Grinch Steals the Museum! Discovery Gateway, 444 W. 100 South, Salt Lake City, 385-355-0503, Dec. 16, 11 a.m.-5 p.m., DiscoveryGateway.org

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THE TO BE HERE

FOR A NEW FOOTBALL COACH AT WEST HIGH SCHOOL AND HIS TEAM, LIFE LESSONS PROVE AS PAINFUL AS LOSSES ON THE FIELD.

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t was already 90 degrees on the September morning the Monday before West High School’s 2016 homecoming football game, and the team had hit a new low.

The Panthers had lost to Davis High School Darts the prior Friday in a contest that was never close, marking their fifth game—and their fifth loss.

In the wake of the latest drubbing, four varsity starters and 15 others had failed to show up for morning practice. Those who had come were clearly unmotivated and, coach Justin Thompson realized, simply sick of being on a losing team.

The Panthers were well on their way to a second consecutive 0-9 season at a school that, historically speaking, is one of the most successful in Utah sports.

Thompson, who’d joined the school’s faculty at the beginning of the year, had to work hard that day to steady his emotions.

“If I’m here to develop character and leadership, I can’t get negative,” the 41-year-old coach said in West High’s weight room as players prepared to start their work-out two days after the poorly attended practice. “At the same time, it’s hard to look at a kid in the face who didn’t come to practice, and tell him it’s OK.” He hadn’t been able to sleep the night before.

At 2:30 a.m., he finally gave up trying. The team was supposed to gather again in just a few hours.

Should he send his players to the weight room?

Do sprints? Simply call off practice altogether?

How would he coach a team that had given up on itself?

How, he wondered, would he coach a team that had given up on him?

In the weight room, later that morning, he looked into the faces of his players.

Football, he told them, mixing sports metaphors, was designed to teach young men how to get off the mat when they are knocked down.

They mustn’t give up hope, he said.

BY STEPHEN DARK sdark@cityweekly.net photos by niki chan

He talked about his father, who died in June. His dad had abandoned his family when Thompson was 3 years old and though there had been reconciliations, they would go years without talking.

“I wondered a lot, why did my dad give up on my family and give up on me when we got older?” he said. “I think it was largely because he just didn’t believe that he could do what needed to be done to keep up, he just gave up hope.”

Thompson hadn’t learned his dad was dying until hours after cancer had taken the man’s life. “He had two granddaughters he never even laid eyes on, he never even met,” he told the players. “I can’t think of anything sadder than that, and again, in my opinion, it was because he gave up hope.”

His voice softened as he told them they had to decide what kind of men they wanted to be—the kind that got back up or the kind that stayed down.

And then he unleashed.

“I WILL NOT QUIT ON YOU,” he bellowed. “DON’T YOU QUIT ON ME. WE CAN GO ZERO AND ONE HUNDRED. BUT DON’T YOU QUIT ON ME. AND I WON’T QUIT ON YOU.” He eased down a few decibels.

“If you are defeated by this, you’re going to be defeated by everything,” he said. “Life will defeat you. If you can’t handle losing a football game, life will defeat you. You will not be successful. It’s—just—football. You have to build the habit.

“You don’t quit. Ever.”

CURSES

At 122 years old, West High’s football team owns one of Utah’s most storied football histories, with the second most wins in the state.

That history was part of Thompson’s inheritance when he left his job at his alma mater, Skyline High, to replace Keith Lopati at West. But he also was bequeathed the daunting burdens of having lost every one of their nine games last season, growing rumors that a newly built football stadium had “cursed” the team, and a roster made up of mostly minority students who viewed a white coach coming from a well-resourced eastside school with grave suspicion.

“He doesn’t know anything about us, about how hard it is down here—the struggle. He doesn’t have the grits to be here with us,” one player, who asked not to be identified, says of the initial perspective he and his teammates had of the new coach.

“Whether it’s a teacher or a family member, most of these kids have been let down by someone,” Thompson’s 22-yearold offensive line coach, Zach Russon, says. “It’s hard to embrace new guys coming from a completely different culture, and it’s a tough thing to do to put your football life in the hands of others.”

With his tanned features, wiry frame and brown, crunchy beard, Thompson more closely resembles a surfer

or rock climber (something he pursues privately) than a football coach. He played running back and defensive back for Skyline, and promptly began coaching the sophomore squad after he graduated from the Millcreek school in 1993.

“Coaching is a little bit like narcotics,” he said in early August, during the first of many interviews before, during and after the season with a City Weekly reporter, who also attended games and talked to coaching staff and multiple players. “It gets in your bloodstream. It’s probably not healthy, but it’s exhilarating.”

In December 2015, West’s principal recruited the University of Utah graduate to coach the school’s team, following a 12-12 record as Skyline’s head coach.

More than 100 kids showed up for preseason workouts, but as the days and weeks wore on—and as Thompson enforced a policy that had his players doing 100 push-ups or lunges for every practice they missed—the roster shrank. And shrank.

Only 12 kids from the program made it to more than half the pre-season workouts, with a total of close to 70 players ultimately compromising the 2016 team.

“They want to be successful,” Thompson said, but “they lack the habit to be consistently dependable and reliable.

It’s been a challenge seeing some kids three days in a row.

One reason or another, they vanish.”

It took a few months before he came to understand why.

Yes, some were simply undisciplined. But many of his players had after-school jobs. Some were caring for younger siblings.

D I WO

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West High’s cheerleading squad awaits the start of play.

For Colby Tapusoa, football is a way of life.

22 | DECEMBER 15, 2016

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Coach Justin Thompson signals to student section to step up their support.

And then there were the bright lights of more successful schools—including West’s nationally ranked rival, East High. Many students who had come up through West’s youth development program ultimately left for another high school. By the summer, “we’d lost two-thirds of our critical players that we thought were Panthers for life,” Thompson says. “They made heartbreaking decisions.”

When Thompson asked one parent why his son left for East, the parent replied, “I want to put our child in the best possible situation.”

West senior and offensive lineman Colby Tapusoa says his younger brother, a freshman, was among the students who transferred.

“Football to us is like a lifestyle; we grew up into it. Football to us is another way out of here. A way of trying to get our family out,” Tapusoa says. “For him, personally, he saw he’d have a better future coming out of East.”

GAME OF INCHES

The season-opener on Aug. 19 against Timpview wasn’t foreboding so much as confirming. West had a lot of work to do.

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Before the home opener, the following week against Skyridge, the rock band Journey—whose last Top 10 hit came before some of the Panthers’ parents were born—blasted through the stadium’s sound system.

“This,” one player mused aloud sarcastically, “is why we can’t win games.”

At halftime, Skyridge was up by 14. In the locker room, West’s players banged on lockers, stamping out a metallic rhythm. One player broke in with an emotional cry. “We’ve worked too hard, too long to keep losing. Fuck, man,” he said in tears. “You guys got to be willing to die for it. They’re coming into our house. Our house!”

Thompson asked his players to calm down and focus on winning one play at a time. “This is not about a losing streak; this is not about home field,” he said. “It’s not about respect. It’s not about disrespect. It’s not about who we’re playing. I couldn’t even tell you who we are playing. This is about us. One play at a time.”

But when the game was over, Thompson couldn’t help but look across the field at the

Skyridge team and fans.

“Two hundred people celebrating on the field from the opposing team,” he said. “It hurts your pride.”

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The only thing worse than watching Skyridge’s fans was the news that came after the game: Junior Brydee Johnson, a team captain who led prayers before each game, had suffered a lacerated liver when he was kicked in the stomach during a tackle. He would be out for the season.

A week later against Timpanogos, having penned Johnson’s number 21 on their legs and arms with Sharpie, the Panthers showed they could, in fact, move the ball with ease—if only between the 20s. And even when wide receiver John Abercrombie broke four tackles en route to an 85-yard dash into the end zone, the score was negated by a penalty. Later, on his very first varsity play, running back Faysal Aden fumbled without being hit.

“We can’t get out of our own way,” Thompson said after the game. “It’s just constant selfinflicted wounds.”

As halftime approached, Timpanogos was up 17-0, but with nine seconds on the clock, Abercrombie scored a touchdown—this one stuck—with senior running back Craig Tauteoli pounding in the conversion.

For the first time in a long time, the Panthers went to the locker room at the half feeling as though they had some momentum, emerging to hold Timp to a single field goal in the third quarter. A Tauteoli touchdown made it 20-15.

In the final minute of the game, the Panthers found themselves in an unfamiliar position—on offense with an opportunity to win.

And, for a miraculous moment, it seemed they were about to. As quarterback Romeo Johnston dove toward the end zone, Tapusoa says, “I got up celebrating, thinking this game was done, and then I see the ball come up. It was a fumble.”

He froze, speechless. “We were right there,” he recalls. “We let it slip out of our hands.”

Tapusoa walked off the field with his helmet still on. He didn’t want anyone to see his tears.

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Senior Craig Tauteoli gets advice from one of the coaches.

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As the losses mounted, so did the mockery from West’s students, particularly on social media.

From Aden’s perspective, the trolling only served to further bond the team. “I really felt that when we received criticism, when they talked trash about us, we had each other to go to,” he says. “We encouraged each other, sooner or later we’re going to get that win.”

But they didn’t—not in the next game, nor the one after that. The Panthers dropped both contests by four touchdowns.

On the sidelines, the hopelessness was becoming more and more obvious—and West’s opponents piled on. Syracuse fans on the east side of the field put up a sign reminding their opponents of “the curse.” As a 14-14 halftime score vaporized, players clutched at their own shirt collars as if holding on for dear life.

“Let’s go,” one player urged another in increasingly hollow tones.

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But seemingly buoyed by Thompson’s “I WILL NOT QUIT ON YOU” speech, others fought through the pain.

A few days before homecoming, Vili Makoni’s grandfather fell into a coma. “I felt, what was the point of playing for the team. We were losing so bad, you know?”

Makoni nonetheless forced himself to go to practice, where Thompson hugged him and assured him that everything would be all right.

The Panthers were 0-5, having been outscored 176-49. They had been written off by fans, ignored by scouts, mocked by fellow students and abandoned by fellow players. Their lives off the field were complex, messy, hard.

But every day, when they got to practice, Thompson was there—to yell at them, plead with them and level with them. And, when the moment called for it, to hug them and remind them that everything would be all right.

IN THE AIR

The night of the homecoming game against Viewmont High, in the Panthers’ locker room, the players sat on the benches, knelt on the floor and looked expectantly at their coach.

“The game tonight will be won or lost based on who can run the football,” Thompson told them. He urged them to play like they never had before. To risk a little bit more. To try a little bit harder.

“Nobody believes in you except the people in this room,” he said. “Go out there and earn it for yourself; enjoy every second of it. I think it’s going to be a special night.”

It was cold and rainy on that evening, but as the players ran out of the locker room in their red-and-black uniforms, something was different. The stands were packed, reflective of how much homecoming means to students and parents alike.

Not in the stands on that night: Landon Kavani Johnson, who wore No. 23 for West prior to graduating in 2015. Now Johnson was in jail, following a scuffle at a Salt Lake City apartment

DECEMBER 15, 2016 | 23

As the possibility of a second no-win season was at hand, the players’ commitment to attending practice further waned. Some excuses during the season were better than others.

But Craig Tauteoli’s was the best, by far.

Tauteoli is one of nine children. His family lives on a 6-acre property in Taylorsville, where they raise pigs. He missed one practice because all 80 pigs got out one night at 3 a.m. after one dug its way under a fence. On a separate night, in equally wee hours, his family’s donkey started kicking their boar.

As much as Thompson had to monitor all his players, he had to pay attention to his own behavior, too. When he got into face-to-face confrontations with referees over questionable decisions, he had to rein himself back and bow his head before their staccato reprimands, fighting every impulse to fight back, knowing how his behavior would impact the players.

“I’ve noticed if my kids have any excuse for why they may be losing, they’ll take it,” he says. If they saw him blaming an official, then their response would be, “Great, we have to beat the officials, too.”

As the losses mounted, though, many players didn’t seem to need much of a reason at all

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to miss practice, and the results were predictable. At the midpoint in the season, Davis was up by four touchdowns at the half, and never had to look back.

ALL RIGHT

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STEPHEN DARK

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Junior Brydee Johnson leads his team in prayer before the last game of the season.

complex that resulted in the shooting death of another youth. A number of the players knew Johnson well, and Thompson had briefly talked to him about joining the coaching staff.

Tauteoli views Johnson as an older brother. “He’s been a good guy to me, never overlooked me at all, always been there,” Tauteoli says. “I miss him. I just hope a lot of people don’t start judging him for what he did.”

He had asked Thompson if he could wear Johnson’s number. The coach had advised caution given how it might be interpreted, but ultimately gave Tauteoli the right to decide for himself.

Viewmont covered 70 yards in seven plays to score a touchdown on its first drive. Tauteoli answered back with two runs for 75.

“Craig sparked us, he lit the fire, he just ran like a maniac; he’s a buffalo, a wild animal,” Abercrombie says. A few plays later, Tauteoli muscled his way over several defenders and into the endzone.

Down 14-12 at the half, Thompson gathered his team. “It’s time to make a decision,” he told them. “You’re playing a team from the suburbs who have everything going for them in the world. Raise your hand if you’ve got a lot going against you.”

A forest of gloved hands rose into the air.

“This game means so much,” Thompson said. “You’re making a statement of who you are as people.”

And they did. By the end of the third quarter the Panthers found themselves in completely foreign territory—with a 26-21 lead. And Thompson started to feel something that was almost surprising after so many defeats: being in the rhythm of coaching a successful football team.

West 2015 graduate Pita Mahina played for Coach Lopati—someone he’s still close to— but, about to leave on his LDS Church mission in December 2016, he asked Thompson if he could help the coaching staff. The Viewmont game “was one of those moments, like, ‘damn, this is really happening,’” he says. “You could feel it in the air. Even like the fans, sitting there in the rain, they were all into it.”

And then an interception by Viewmont, followed by a touchdown put them ahead, 27-26.

If West’s coaches expected them to collapse, to give up, they didn’t. They fought back. In the last minutes, quarterback Romeo Johnston threw to Abercrombie, one of West’s best playmakers, but he dropped the ball. Two minutes later, Johnston threw again to Abercrombie, but the throw was too soft and a Viewmont linebacker batted it away.

VIEWMONT

27

VS.

WEST

26

A West player displays Brydee Johnson’s number in honor of his teammate being benched from injury.

AFTERMATH

While Viewmont celebrated, West’s players stood frozen on the field, their helmets tilted to the ground. And then they gathered around their coach.

“You guys came up on the play short,” he told them. “You can be proud of how you competed tonight. I’m extremely proud of you guys. You chose to win. I’m more proud of you guys than I’ve ever been of a team.”

As the players stumbled toward the locker room, Thompson marveled with Russon. “We battled,” Thompson said. “That was the first time we ever hit them back.”

“They cared,” Russon said. “They didn’t give up tonight.”

Thompson put his arm around a sobbing Makoni, who had promised his grandfather a win before he died. “I’m so proud that you had the courage to make that promise,” Thompson told him.

By the fourth quarter, Johnston says, it was “nerve-racking that we were about to win the game. I was just imagining the victory and the whole stand going on the field, cheering.”

And when the clock ran out, he says, it hurt.

But while the final score “says who wins or loses,” Johnston says, “It doesn’t say how the game went, or how like it was a battle.”

Or how the fans cheered. And the team came together. And they weren’t beat by their own mistakes but by another football team. And how it really was all right.

“It was a good feeling, even though we lost,” Tapusoa says. “I’m still happy to be with those guys. It was crazy, great fun. I didn’t want it to be like anything but what it was.”

Tauteoli adds, “I wouldn’t say we lost. I’d say we ran out of time.”

LOSING FAITH

In American movies about sports, this is where everything changes. Where the Panthers realize they can win. Where they get up off the mat and punch back, harder than ever before. But that’s not how life usually works and that’s not what happened at West.

“After that loss, it ended in such a heartbreaking way, it kind of cut our legs out from under us and destroyed some of that progress,” Russon says. “We came back Monday and we had a ton of guys missing. It hurt us losing after that big, big buildup.”

Thompson tried to keep the practices positive, but seniors told him, he says, that “they’ve been through so many weeks of failure they feel like they’re running on empty.”

Despite his initial energy after seeing his team fight to the end against Viewmont, Thompson was also struggling. “I’m super-discouraged as well, tired of losing, and just tired, actually

tired,” he said at the end of the season. “It’s been a long nine months of hard work for no wins.”

Against Hunter, the following week, it was clear that many players were disillusioned. “I felt like they didn’t want to play anymore,” Tauteoli says of his teammates. “They wanted the season over with.”

Instead of celebrating after scoring a 70-yard touchdown in that game, he walked to the sideline, threw down his helmet and started swearing at the fans and other players, cursing through his tears, “raging at the fact that I was the only one that wanted to win, wanted to fight, to get back up and keep going. I felt alone. I felt nobody else wanted to win as bad as I did.”

HUNTER

46

VS.

The Panthers mascot braves the rain with fans during the tumultuous homecoming game.

WEST

20

The following game, at Layton, was as bad a loss as West had suffered since it was blanked by Timpview in the season opener. After the game, as the rest of the team filed onto the bus, juniors and West rising stars Makoni and Cole Dunkley, both limping and battered, nevertheless gathered up shoulder pads. Makoni was crying, but wouldn’t tell Thompson why.

The coach says Dunkley told him, “They were just sick of it, just sick of the way they were giving up.”

LAYTON

42

VS.

WEST

6

43

VS.

FATHERHOOD

WEST

6

| CITY WEEKLY |

DECEMBER 15, 2016 | 25

At a time in his life when he had no father, Thompson had his football coaches. “They were fathers to me,” he says. That’s the kind of role model he wants to be for the kids in his program.

Many of them, he knows, “have their own stories of hardship and regret, of abandonment, of people in their lives who are bad role models. I felt like I wanted those kids to understand that we have common ground.”

Did he succeed in his first season at West? What Abercrombie heard, when his coach talked about having not really known his father, was that “he would never do that to us. He’d never give up on us.”

If nothing else, Thompson says, his players saw what it looks like when someone doesn’t quit. Maybe they saw it in him, maybe in their fellow players. And maybe a few saw it in themselves.

“The only redemption you can take from this experience, is to practice and play so hard that you know nobody can take that away from you. They have to be able to look back on the experience honestly and be able to say, ‘Well, we weren’t a very good football team. We battled through nine straight games, and with no hopes of making the playoffs, we still went out there and gave it hell.’ They’ll always know whether they quit or not on the team. I want them to be able to go out and say, ‘I didn’t quit.’ That’s my No. 1 hope.”

Sometimes hope, along with determination and even faith can come in something as a fleeting as a text. At 6 a.m. the day after the final game, Faysal Aden messaged Thompson. “When does off-season training start?”

An elated Thompson replied, “This text makes my year. You are a stud. We’ll take a couple weeks off to get our bodies right, then we’ll start crushing.”

The grit in that solitary text, Thompson says, is what he looks for. “Not to say something but do something.” Much like Makoni and Dunkley picking up gear at the end of one of the last games, Aden displays that quintessential drive Thompson yearns to see.

It’s simple to define, he says. “I will do what needs to be done.” CW

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GRANGER

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Brydee Johnson returned to the locker room to lead the team prayer in the final game of the season at Granger. “It was hard,” he says. “I wanted them to go out and play all their heart, and go show everyone there what we worked for.”

Thompson, though, offered his players a realistic pregame assessment of where they stood. “I’m very, very proud of much of what you’ve done and not very proud of other things you’ve done,” he told his boys. But, he continued, “If anybody here thinks they’ve done everything perfectly, then, you know, you’re beyond what I can do to help you.”

He urged them to win, but more than that, he hoped they would play in a way that would make them feel proud. “I hope the people you care most about in the world short of your family are right here,” he told them. He urged them to play in honor of their teammates, whether the seniors for whom this would be their last game, “or the young kid you have high hopes for.” What they couldn’t do, he said, was play for themselves and think they’d succeed.

The players walked out to the bright lights of the Lancers’ field, holding hands one last time, their cleats clicking on the concrete.

But once the game started, “they just kind of looked physically defeated,” a resigned Thompson said, post-match.

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26 | DECEMBER 15, 2016

Christmas for Cooks

DINE TASCHEN PUBLISHING

XMAS GIFTS

Give the gift of cookbooks, kitchen gadgets, culinary classes and more.

BY TED SCHEFFLER comments@cityweekly.net @critic1

W

hen I’m asked by family members what I’d like as a gift for Christmas, my thoughts immediately travel to the kitchen. I think that’s probably true for most foodies. We can never have too many cookbooks, enough kitchen gadgets or a full enough pantry. However, since most of us have limited space, we dream of gifts we will actually use. There’s no room for stuff that’s only hauled out once a year for the rare special occasion. With that in mind, here are some holiday gift-giving ideas for your favorite cook.

Make a trip to your favorite local bookstore—Weller Book Works, The King’s English Bookshop, Golden Braid Books or maybe Back of Beyond in Moab—to seek out these three extraordinary cookbooks. I don’t know a cook who doesn’t secretly envy Anthony Bourdain. He’s a stud, and one that’s as well-traveled and as well-versed in the culinary arts as anyone in the food universe. But what makes his latest book, Appetites: A Cookbook, such a splendid gift is that it’s so practical. It’s chock-full of uncomplicated recipes that can be executed at home. The dishes are the comfort foods we love, such as macaroni and cheese, meatloaf, lasagna Bolognese and sausage gravy with biscuits. Add his irreverent writing style, hilarious photos (such as the great Le Bernardin chef Eric Ripert with gravy dripping down his chin) and cover art by Ralph Steadman, and you’ve got a must-have holiday gift.

In 1973, the surrealist painter Salvador Dalí published a cookbook called Les Dîners de Gala, which in part documented the outrageously opulent dinner parties that he and his wife Gala were known for.

Last month, Taschen Publishing released a reprint, and it’s a gorgeous book, complete with 136 recipes illustrated by Dalí.

This is not your grandma’s cookbook, unless perhaps your grandmother was Frida Kahlo.

One of my favorite foodie websites is Serious Eats, wherein über-food-nerds like J. Kenji López-Alt (the site’s culinary director) deconstruct recipes and myths about the foods we love. Weighing in at about seven pounds and just under 1,000

pages is López-Alt’s fabulous tome The Food Lab: Better Home Cooking Through Science. The author combines an M.I.T. education with his professional chef background to teach us all how to cook better in the kitchen. And believe me, when it comes to cooking almost anything—even boiling eggs—there’s almost always a better way, and López-Alt shares his secrets with us. The Food Lab is a must for anyone who frequently asked the question “Why?” in the kitchen.

Every cook knows the importance of a good set of kitchen knives. Spoons ’n’ Spice (2274 S. 1300 East, Salt Lake City; 788 E. 9400 South, Sandy) has great prices on professional knives by producers like Zwilling J.A. Henckels, Wüsthof, Cuisinart and others. It’s one thing to own a good knife collection; it’s another to maintain it.

Wüstoff makes it easy with their 4-Stage Universal Knife Sharpener ($19.99 while supplies last), which has two sharpeners (coarse and fine) for European-style knives and two for Asian/santoku knives. This inexpensive gift will keep your cook’s knives in tip-top shape for years to come. If you’d like to add a terrific, all-purpose chef’s knife to the mix, Spoons ’n’ Spice is also selling the classic German-made Henckels 7-inch Four-Star Chef’s Knife for a mere $39.99 (regularly priced at $109.99).

Are you buying gifts for a cook who is thinking of going pro? You could give her or him the gift of culinary school. The next term of classes at Park City Culinary Institute—which now also has a Salt Lake City campus—begins Jan. 9, with evening classes starting on Jan. 31. The institute offers intensive, two-month programs taught by professional chefs such as Houman Gohary and Adam Kreisel, with instruction ranging from knife skills and butchering to high-altitude baking, charcuterie and sushi-making.

For those on your Christmas list a little less serious about cooking, but who might enjoy a fun evening learning some basic kitchen skills, the Salt Lake Culinary Center offers one-off evening sessions that

Cookbook illustrations by surrealist painter Salvador Dalí include the Five-Alarm Chili and Tamal Workshop, Junior Chefs classes, Flavors of South Asia, French Dinner Party and Homemade Doughnuts. Harmons’ Farmington, Bangerter and City Creek locations offer frequent cooking classes with topics like Rib Roast Holiday Feast, Pho, Knife Skills, Sparkling Wines & Cheese, Holiday Brunch and Kids in the Kitchen, with prices starting at $10. And of course, Tony Caputo’s Market & Deli is a longtime favorite of cooking class aficionados for their informal, hands-on tasting classes. Upcoming Caputo’s events include Intro to Fine Chocolate, Wine 101, Intro to French Cooking, Tequila & Mezcal and Oregon vs.

Burgundy wines.

Liberty Heights Fresh (1290 S. 1100 East, Salt Lake City, LibertyHeightsFresh.com) makes holiday shopping easy with gift baskets ranging from $39 to $149. Popular baskets include the Spanish Pantry, with high-quality Spanish olive oils, spices, vinegars, chocolates and more. Their Locavore basket is jammed with goods from local artisans: Amour Spreads; Clifford Family Farms; Slideridge Honey; Amano and Solstice Chocolates; Rockhill, Beehive and Gold Creek Cheeses; Creminelli Meats; Laziz and Pop Art Snacks.

If the cook on your shopping list would prefer to take the holiday off from cooking, you’ll be happy to know that The Grand America’s dining establishments will be open for business. Among the holiday events scheduled at the hotel this season are afternoon tea with Santa in the Lobby Lounge and Breakfast with Santa in the Oak Room; Christmas Eve breakfast, lunch buffet and prix-fixe dinner in the Garden Café; and Christmas Day brunch and prix-fixe dinner in the Garden Café (GrandAmerica.com).

Here’s wishing you and yours a delicious Christmas! CW

Contemporary Japanese Dining

GIFT CERTIFICATES AVAILABLE

18 WEST MARKET STREET

801.519.9595

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Holiday Cheer ....is In The Cup!

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LUNCH • DINNER • COCKTAILS

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DECEMBER 15, 2016 | 27

2646 South 700 East | www.inthecup.biz 801-904-3872 | Mon-Fri: 6am-8pm Sat: 7:30am-8pm | Sun: 7:30am-7pm

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Serving American Comfort Food Since 1930

BRING THE FAMILY UP EMIGRATION CANYON THIS HOLIDAY SEASON -Creekside Patio -87 Years and Going Strong -Breakfast served daily until 4pm -Delicious Mimosas & Bloody Marys -Gift Cards for sale in diner or online

4160 EMIGRATION CANYON ROAD 801 582-5807 | WWW.RUTHSDINER.COM

FOOD MATTERS

BY TED SCHEFFLER @critic1

LOCAL OWNED

Family Friendly!

1063 E. 2100 S. SUGAR HOUSE SALT LAKE CITY

saltlakepizzaandpasta.com

801.484.1804

Spreading the Amour

Lovers of Amour Spreads now have more to love. Owners John and Casee Francis recently opened Amour Café in the Liberty Park neighborhood (1329 S. 500 East, Salt Lake City, AmourSLC.com). They’ve enlisted the services of extraordinary chef Amber Billingsley to create salads, soups, sandwiches, pastries, gelato and savory breakfast egg plates to accompany housemade sodas, espresso, coffee, teas and, of course, Amour spreads, jams and marmalades. The café is open daily 7 a.m.-5 p.m.

In addition, the company has geared up for the holidays, offering gift cards, gift sets and annual memberships to their popular Jam Club, which delivers one seasonal jam to your doorstep each month.

FR AD IE UL ND T LY

AS SEEN ON “ DINERS, DRIVE-INS AND DIVES”

CELEBRATING

20 YEARS IN SUGAR HOUSE! 1063 E. 2100 S. 801.463.9393 FIDDLERSELBOWSLC.COM

B e er, P izza &

Times Go o d

Passion for Poutine

Partners Ted Warner and Jen Buckallew have had a passion for poutine ever since they enjoyed six helpings of it in one day during Montreal’s Osheaga Festival a few years ago. That was the genesis of their Salt Lake City-based food truck Poutine Your Mouth. Now, the couple has launched a campaign to help fund the future home of their restaurant, Poutinerie (PoutineYourMouth.com). They’re calling it a “reversteraunt,” because customers will order poutine, drinks and such from the food truck, then eat inside the building, which is currently an art gallery at 327 E. 300 South. According to Jen, they hope to begin work on the building in late January 2017, and plan to have a full restaurant liquor license. Along with traditional french fries, cheese curds and gravy, Poutine Your Mouth also features a delicious Cincinnati chili version of the Canadian classic.

2991 E. 3300 S.

385.528.0181

Tuscan Xmas Eve

Tuscany (2832 E. 6200 South, Salt Lake City, TuscanySLC.com) invites you to leave the holiday cooking to them with a special Christmas Eve Dinner ($65 per person). Among the tempting menu items are starters of wood oven-baked brie and a white prawn shrimp cocktail, followed by mushroom bisque and frisée salad with smoked duck breast. Entrée options include braised lamb shank, linguine Alfredo or organic roasted chicken.

For dessert, there’s Bûche de Noël and gingerbread pudding. Call the restaurant at 801-277-9919 for reservations.

Award Winning Donuts

Quote of the week: “If bacon ate, bacon would eat poutine.”

—Chris Jones, Esquire Food Matters 411: tscheffler@cityweekly.net

705 S. 700 E. | (801) 537-1433

BEER, WINE & SPIRITS

Sip Locally

Toast the holidays with Utah’s own artisan essentials.

BY TED SCHEFFLER comments@cityweekly.net @critic1

A

wines—and versatile enough for a wide range of holiday applications—is his Feints ($18.99), an unusual blend of arneis, dolcetto and barbera grapes with notes of Bing cherries, nutmeg and raspberries.

Located in Cedar City but creating products available at wine stores throughout the state, Iron Gate Winery produces wines that would make excellent gifts for winos. I particularly like Iron Gate winemaker Doug McCoombs’ Instant Gratification Chardonnay ($14) for its low price and crisp acidity, the latter due in part to a splash of sauvignon blanc that lends tartness to the wine. It’s a chardonnay that would pair nicely with a Christmas goose or turkey.

Spiced rums seem to be a popular libation for the holidays and as a component of wintry cocktails, so Outlaw Distillery Spiced Rum ($23.99) would make an ideal gift or holiday party staple. Raw, quality, natural ingredients like pure non-GMO molasses, artesian water, organic sweet sugarcane and aromatic yeasts go into the making of Dented Brick Distillery Antelope Island Rum ($26.95)—the perfect foundation for a holiday hot-buttered-rum cocktail.

Cheers! CW

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s the holiday season is a time for merriment and gift-giving, it’s also a time to support local artisan wineries and those who make libations in the Beehive a bit more enjoyable. Here are a few tasty suggestions for your holiday shopping list, from cocktail bitters to fruit wines.

The craft bitters industry in the United States is booming, and that growth has even found its way to Utah. Roy-based Beehive Bitters Co. makes handcrafted, small-batch cocktail bitters that are a favorite of many of local bartenders. Owner Mike D’Amico’s bitters ($13.50 each) are all-natural, with no artificial ingredients.

A few drops of Spiced Orange bitters is especially good in whiskey, but can also provide a kick to non-alcoholic drinks and punches. Noting a lack of quality bitters on the local market, husband and wife Jesse

Coss and Andrea Latimer created Bitters Lab and now produce five different premium cocktail bitters ($20 each), including my favorites: Charred Cedar & Currant and Habanero Lime.

The holiday season is a perfect time for hard cider, which also makes it the ideal time for Salt Lake City-based Mountain West Cider. That’s especially true of their 6.9-percent-ABV Cottonwood Dry-Hopped ($5.99) and classic Ruby ($5.99). The latter, combined with a splash of Aperol, makes the yummy Ruby Spritz cocktail. Interested in making your own hard cider? The Beer Nut and Salt City Beer Supply stores carry equipment and ingredients for just that.

Layton-based Hive Winery & Brandy Co. produces Stinger Hard Apple Ciders ($6.95-$8.95), including versions infused with raspberries, mint, blackberries, black currants and even one with a raspberryjalapeño combo. Hive also makes glutenfree, fruit-based wines, meads, melomels, liqueurs and brandy. Their award-winning Christmas Mead (mulled honey wine) is a slam-dunk for the holiday season.

The unique and beguiling all-natural wines from Ruth Lewandowski Wines would be an ideal gift for wine drinkers, and complement any holiday table or event.

Not quite a red nor a rosé, one of winemaker Evan Lewandowski’s most intriguing

DRINK

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DECEMBER 15, 2016 | 29

Stay warm with your friends at

Featuring dining destinations from buffets and rooms with a view to mom-and-pop joints, chic cuisine and some of our dining critic’s faves.

Finca

20 W. 200 S. SLC | (801) 355-3891 | siegfriedsdelicatessen.biz

AWARD WINNING INDIAN CUISINE

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30 | DECEMBER 15, 2016

GOODEATS Complete listings at CityWeekly.net

INDIAPALACEUTAH.COM 1086 WEST SOUTH JORDAN PARKWAY (10500 S.) #111 | 801.302.0777

now serving breakfast

@

2005 E. 2700 SOUTH, SLC FELDMANSDELI.COM FELDMANSDELI OPEN TUES - SAT TO GO ORDERS: (801) 906-0369

Pasta for the People since 1968

You can find authentic Spanish tapas and cuisine, and, like its sister restaurant, Pago, almost all of the produce, meats, cheeses, eggs and more used to create the simple but quality dishes are locally sourced.

In Finca’s elegant lounge, order a swanky cocktail, and choose from a selection of pintxos (two-bite snacks) served tableside. The tapas selection is diverse and ranges from toasted noodles and clams, dates stuffed with blue cheese, shishito peppers and Spanish octopus a la plancha. 327 W. 200 South, Salt Lake City, 801-487-0699, FincaSLC.com

Szechuan Garden

For more than 35 years, Chef Meng has been cooking Szechuan cuisine in prestigious venues around the world, and he’s a lifetime judge of the National Ranking chef test in the Szechuan Province. Orders of camphortea-smoked duck, sha cha beef, Da Ching chicken, and hot and spicy eel are all dishes to get the party started in this classic Chinese restaurant. And, true, it’s difficult to choose between intestines hot and spicy in chili broth, or with pickles, but the authentic dish is worth a try, and not found in any other Salt Lake-area restaurants. Order the salt-and-pepper pigs feet and thank the gods Chef Meng found his way to Sandy.

1275 E. 8600 South, Sandy, 801-233-0027, The-Szechuan-Garden.com

italianvillageslc.com

5370 S. 900 E. / 801.266.4182

M O N-TH U 1 1 a -1 1 p / F R I -SAT 1 1 a -1 2 a / S U N 3 p -1 0 p

reserve your holiday party with us!

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klezbros 1680 W . U T E B LV D , K I M B A L L J U N C T I O N , PA R K C I T Y M O L LY B L O O M S G A S T R O P U B .C O M | (435) 645-0844

Fresh Flavors, Ancient Secrets Breakfast ·Lunch ·Dinner | Beer & Wine

THE OTHER PLACE RESTAURANT OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK | MON - SAT 7AM - 11PM ● SUN 8AM - 10PM 469 EAST 300 SOUTH ● 521-6567

King Shawarma

Middle Eastern Cuisine

725 E. 3300 S. SLC (801) 803-9434

2223 S. Highland Dr. SLC (385) 415-2100

slcshawarmaking.com

Award Winning Vietnamese Cuisine

cafetrangonline.com

*Gluten-free menu options available

AND LEAVE THE COOKING TO US!

6213 South Highland Drive | 801.635.8190

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SPAGETT A BOUT IT....

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6001 S. State St. Murray | 801-263-8889

GREEKSOUVLAKI.COM

DECEMBER 15, 2016 | 31

multiple locations

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Original Greek Spaghetti

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32 | DECEMBER 15, 2016

FILM REVIEW

Isn’t It Romantic?

CINEMA

La La Land celebrates magical, inspirational art.

BY SCOTT RENSHAW scottr@cityweekly.net @scottrenshaw

“W

hy do you say ‘romantic’ like it’s a dirty word?” struggling musician Sebastian (Ryan Gosling) says to his sister (Rosemarie DeWitt) early in La La Land. It’s hard not to imagine that’s the thesis statement from writer/director Damien Chazelle (Whiplash) because the movie musical is built almost entirely on the willingness of an audience to submit to romanticism— not just “romantic” in the sense of boy meets girl, but “romantic” in the sense of an aesthetic built on emotion. You either accept that a first flutter of infatuation can cause people to burst into song, or you roll your eyes and raise your finger in a “check, please” gesture.

La La Land wastes no time in announcing what sort of movie it is, transitioning from black-and-white credits into a “CinemaScope” title card, and tracking through southern California freeway traffic as motorists leap from their cars to celebrate “Another Day of Sun” in the first of Justin Hurwitz’ wonderful songs. It bursts with color and optimism, in the middle of a scenario that usually results in frustration.

Romantics: You are welcome here.

Conceptually, it’s simple bordering on simplistic, in that way that many “boy meets girl” musicals are. Sebastian is still licking his wounds after a failed attempt to open a jazz club; Mia (Emma Stone) is an aspiring actress working a day job at a coffee shop on the Warner Bros. studio backlot.

After they unwittingly meet-cute during that aforementioned traffic jam, they cross paths briefly at a restaurant, then again at a party where Mia spots Sebastian forlornly playing keyboards in an ’80s cover band.

Will they, or won’t they? Should they, or shouldn’t they? Will their relationship lead them both to the inspiration they need to create their best art?

The answer to the first question is “yes,”

making this the third time in six years—after Crazy, Stupid, Love and Gangster Squad—that Stone and Gosling have been paired romantically in a movie. Their chemistry is more charming than crackling, which is just the right vibe for what La La Land is trying to do. As they stroll around the side of a road in the hills of Los Angeles, then don the appropriate shoes for dancing together to the sort-of-not-a-love-song “A Lovely Night,” there’s an almost impish recognition that they’re caught up in a musical. The potential for crushing preciousness is diluted by the leads’ sheer commitment to the kind of movie they’re in.

That kind of movie is one that’s always aware of itself in a context of vintage movie history, which is exactly the sort of thing that can drive some cinephiles nuts. Sebastian and Mia meet for a date at a repertory screening of Rebel Without a Cause; they recognize one set on the Warner’s lot as a window from Casablanca; a night on the town turns into a montage where neon signs for bars and clubs drift by over the characters’ faces. It would be easy to chide Chazelle for his chutzpah: The nerve of him, quoting from classics, as though his movie has earned a place there.

There’s something far simpler going on, though, as Chazelle makes his way through a narrative about people bumping up against the peaks and valleys of creative

Emma Stone and Ryan Gosling in La La Land.

lives. It’s a movie about the euphoria that beautiful, silly and, yes, romantic art can inspire in viewers. When Sebastian and Mia take each other by the hand at the Griffith Observatory and begin floating into the stars of the domed theater, it’s a thing of sweet and simple beauty. And when Mia’s crucial audition for a potentially careerchanging role turns into a paean to “The Fools Who Dream,” the room disappears in a recognition of the way art transports both those who create it and those who are lucky enough to experience it.

Maybe it’s overstating the case to suggest that La La Land is exactly the kind of movie that matters most in a time when cynicism feels easiest and most justifiable. Art might not be actual magic, but maybe the magic comes from the belief that it can make our world richer, happier, easier to understand.

You’re only stuck in place if you resist the romantic notion that you can jump out and celebrate another day of sun. CW

LA LA LAND

BBBB Ryan Gosling Emma Stone Rated PG-13

TRY THESE The Umbrellas of Cherbourg (1964) Catherine Deneuve Nino Castelnuovo Not Rated

The Young Girls of Rochefort (1967) Catherine Deneuve George Chakiris Not Rated

Crazy, Stupid, Love (2011) Ryan Gosling Emma Stone Rated PG-13

Whiplash (2014) Miles Teller J.K. Simmons Rated R

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DECEMBER 15, 2016 | 33

CINEMA CLIPS

MOVIE TIMES AND LOCATIONS AT CITYWEEKLY.NET SPECIAL SCREENINGS

Information is correct at press time. Film release schedules are subject to change.

THE ASSASSINATION OF JESSE JAMES BY THE COWARD ROBERT FORD At Brewvies, Dec. 19, 10 p.m. (R)

COLLATERAL BEAUTY [Not yet reviewed] A grieving man (Will Smith) writes letters to Love, Time and Death—and unexpectedly finds that they answer him. Opens Dec. 16 at theaters valleywide. (PG-13) LA LA LAND BBBB See review p. 32. Opens Dec. 16 at theaters valleywide. (PG-13)

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ROGUE ONE: A STAR WARS STORY BB.5 There is a moment in Rogue One—you’ll know it when you see it, trust me—when your heart will either do a little leap of glee, or your shoulders will slump in despair. There’s no secret that this amounts to Episode III.5, following a band of Rebels—daughter of an Imperial engineer Jyn Erso (Felicity Jones), hardened soldier Cassian (Diego Luna), blind warrior/priest Chirrut (Donnie Yen), et al.—as they attempt to steal the schematics for the Empire’s Death Star. Those new characters get just enough backstory—including making Cassian the kind of Han Solo they’re not afraid to say Shot First—to make them functional, while also making one wish every action sequence was just Donnie Yen being a badass. But while the battles are crisply staged and there’s some great, timely material about the sacrifices required to fight tyranny—and the factions that emerge within rebellions—director Gareth Edwards and screenwriters Chris Weitz and Tony Gilroy can’t resist the most distracting kind of fan service. It is the nature of the Star Wars universe that emotional response extends beyond the borders of the story actually unfolding in front of you, but the ways this one works to make sure it’s clear that yes, this is “A Star Wars Story” end up fighting with the ways in which it could have shown its own rebel spirit.

Opens Dec. 16 at theaters valleywide. (PG-13)—Scott Renshaw

THE FREEDOM TO MARRY At Main Library, Dec. 20, 7 p.m. (NR) GERHARD RICHTER PAINTING At Utah Museum of Fine Arts, Dec. 21, 7 p.m. (NR) GIMME DANGER At Park City Film Series, Dec 16-17, 6 p.m.; Dec. 18, 8 p.m. (R) IRIS (2014) At Peery’s Egyptian Theater, Ogden, Dec. 21, 7 p.m. (PG-13)

CURRENT RELEASES FANTASTIC BEASTS AND WHERE TO FIND THEM BB.5 Now we know what the Harry Potter universe looks like without Harry Potter—and it’s not the prettiest picture. J.K. Rowling and director David flash back to 1926 New York, where British wizard Newt Scamander (Eddie Redmayne) and his suitcase full of critters are involved in the possibility that the magical world will be exposed to Non-Maj (read: muggles). Yates’ everimproving action chops make for solid blockbuster spectacle, and there’s a potentially fascinating metaphor in a destructive force that’s basically a manifestation of “closeted” magical ability.

The center simply doesn’t hold, not when the narrative focus is on Redmayne’s fussy performance as Scamander, or disgraced ex-Auror Tina Goldstein (Katherine Waterston) rather than working-class Non-Maj Jacob Kowalski (Dan Fogler) discovering the world of magic. The Potter saga was an epic allegorical journey; this feels like an excuse for special effects. (PG-13)—SR

MANCHESTER BY THE SEA BBB.5 Kenneth Lonergan dives into his favored territory of people dealing with grief, in this story of Lee Chandler (Casey Affleck), a Boston area handyman who’s forced to reckon with past tragedy when he has to become the guardian for his teenage nephew (Lucas Hedges). Lonergan doesn’t play coy for too long with the circumstances behind Lee’s perpetual thousand-yard-stare; Affleck’s performance percolates with inward-turned, inarticulate rage. Yet as indelible as Affleck’s work is, Hedges’ performance proves nearly as important to Lonergan’s notion that adjusting to the scars that shape our lives isn’t a one-size-fits-all experience, and that there’s no magic bullet that facilitates healing. Showing off a wicked sense of humor and making the film’s setting a richly detailed part of the film, Lonergan provides an energy that never allows the sadness of the story to become oppressive. (R)—SR

MISS SLOANE BBB A down-in-the-trenches Washington lobbyist (Jessica Chastain) brings her full Lovecraftian powers of manipulation to bear in order to push through a controversial gun bill. The opposition is not amused. Movies about political movers and shakers might be a scant form of escapism these days, but this gives off a tangible, absorbing hum—thanks to John Madden’s clean direction and a razor-sharp screenplay by first-timer Jonathan Perera.

(Removing those moments when the characters remark on the snap of each other’s dialogue definitely wouldn’t hurt, however.)

Best of all, there’s Chastain, who cannily cherry-picks from her established personas to create a fascinatingly guarded, fiercely intelligent central figure: A successful, driven woman who can’t entirely tamp down her pleasure when people kiss her ring. Even if you don’t have the stomach for it right now, this one will keep.

(PG-13)—Andrew Wright

OFFICE CHRISTMAS PARTY BB Like many actual office Christmas parties, it’s poorly organized, runs too long and isn’t as entertaining as it thinks it is. Six credited writers came up with a story where the Chicago branch of a tech company will close unless they impress a particular client (Courtney B. Vance) with a rockin’ holiday party. Co-directors Josh Gordon and Will Speck are in familiar territory, with Jason Bateman as the hapless, sardonic manager who works under an immature boss (T.J. Miller, reprising his Silicon Valley character), both of them cowed by the ball-breaking C.E.O. (Jennifer Aniston). The sharp cast (Kate McKinnon, Vanessa Bayer, Rob Corddry and Jillian Bell)—most of them basically playing sketch characters—means there are sporadic laughs, but the employee subplots are pointless, and the prolonged, unfunny climax strains credulity. Sloppy work all around. Better hope the boss doesn’t see. (R)—Eric D. Snider

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TV Gone Wrong

TV Roadies (Showtime)

16 of the worst shows of 2016.

In a year so loaded with great TV, it’s easy to forget the crap— unless you’re a professional television watcher in need of holiday-month filler. The Best will come next week; here lies (some of) the Worst:

Kevin Can Wait (CBS)

Kevin James plays a recently retired cop who finds that life at home with the family is exactly like a shitty sitcom from the ’80s. He’s fat! He’s dumb! He’s ’Merica! And we’re in for at least four years of it, if not eight. Thanks for nothing (again), CBS.

Party Over Here (Fox)

The bait-and-switch Andy Samberg/Paul Scheer production hinted at a Lonely Island sketch show but instead pitted a trio of unknown (yet talented) female comics with no material against Saturday Night Live. Just stay out of late-night, Fox.

Criminal Minds: Beyond Borders (CBS)

Heartbeat (NBC)

Houdini & Doyle (Fox)

Could a sullen wine sommelier (David Schwimmer) and a sketchy master chef (Jim Sturgess) make their Bronx restaurateur dreams come true? Or at least not get seared and deconstructed by the local mafia? No one, absolutely no one, cared.

Wayward Pines (Fox)

The first go-round of Wayward Pines, with M. Night Shyamalan at the helm, was a nearly perfect sci-fi season; it was also meant to be the only season. Then Fox got greedy and went ahead with a needless, nonsensical second that made Under the Dome look like a model of cohesion.

Legends of Chamberlain Heights (Comedy Central)

The only genuinely funny aspect of Comedy Central’s latest (badly) animated series Legends of Chamberlin Heights is the name of the school where it’s set: Michael Clarke Duncan High. Following one of the most uneven seasons of South Park didn’t help.

Notorious (ABC)

An intriguingly weird setup—Harry Houdini and Sir Arthur Conan Doyle solving crimes in the 1900s—turned into another redundant cop procedural, albeit one with an impressive suspenders-and-mustache-wax budget.

At least this criminally stoopid mashup of The Newsroom and Law & Order—about a gorgeous lawyer (Daniel Sunjata), a gorgeous-er news producer (Piper Perabo) and “the unique, sexy and dangerous interplay of law and the media”—has been mercifully canceled by ABC. Just like …

Maya & Marty (NBC)

Conviction (ABC)

Maya & Marty resembles an undead collection of rejected Saturday Night Live sketches that Maya Rudolph and Martin Short shambled through like The Walking Dead gang smeared in zombie guts, desperately trying to avoid attention. Upside: This should be the final nail in the variety show’s coffin.

Yet another “sexy” legal drama, this one stars Hayley Atwell as a party-girl lawyer learning how to overturn wrongful convictions and “care,” if not master an American accent.

Conviction has a handful of episodes to burn off in January, but Atwell is now freed up for more Agent Carter (hint).

Kevin Can Wait (CBS)

The Exorcist (Fox)

This unnecessary reboot of the 1973 horror classic was spooky, atmospheric and … not much else—kind of a let-down, considering it’s The Exorcist and all. Premiering months after Cinemax’s satanically superior Outcast didn’t help, nor did the Friday time slot. Lucifer is the only Fox devil you need.

Aftermath (Syfy)

Another supernatural-apocalypse series—but this time, it’s about family! Mom is Anne Heche, who appears to be perpetually hungover, and phones her performance in from behind a ridiculous pair of sunglasses. Even she realizes Aftermath is hot trash.

The Affair (Showtime)

Season 1 of The Affair delivered some intriguing adult drama from multiple perspectives. Unfortunately, now that it’s dragged on into Season 3, this “prestige” series offers little more than Middle-Aged Rich People Probs and pricey EastCoast real estate views.

Broadcast and Cable News (all of it)

Bitch all you want about “fake news”; the “real news” failed spectacularly this election year. They handed over billions of dollars’ worth of free advertising to the worst two presidential candidates in history and they’re surprised by the outcome? Trump TV might actually be an improvement.

Listen to Frost Mondays at 8 a.m. on X96 Radio From Hell, and on the TV Tan podcast via Stitcher, iTunes, Google Play and BillFrost.tv.

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In this now-canceled mess, Melissa George starred as a genius-rebel heart surgeon who whose accomplished-ifoccasionally-man-splained career contrasted with her garbage personal/romantic life as a single mom and Melissa George-level hot thang. Insert time-of-death joke here.

Feed the Beast (AMC)

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Despite its decent cast (including Gary Sinise, Anna Gunn and Alana de la Garza), this sub-xenophobic, white-folks-inperil-abroad spinoff has little reason to exist when we already have a perfectly good O.G. Criminal Minds.

Cameron Crowe’s ode to the hard-knock life behind the rock ’n’ roll fantasy—starring Luke Wilson, Carla Gugino and cameo bands galore—began more rom-com than rock show, then noodled as aimlessly as a Dead jam. Roadies did mostly pull it together by the end, but it was waaay too late.

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I Believe in Ghosts

MUSIC

Remembering local artist and musician Bob Moss—five years gone, but not forgotten.

BY BRIAN STAKER comments@cityweekly.net @stakerized

I

really don’t remember the first time I met Bob Moss. My earliest and most prominent memory of him is when I watched him skitter away into the foggy air of a wintry night in downtown Salt Lake City to catch a bus after a performance.

This local folk artist and musician just didn’t have the time or inclination for small talk.

Actually, now that I think about it, the first time I met Moss must’ve been at the home of poet and novelist Dee Wolfe—another dear friend who passed away several years ago. Back in the ’80s, fresh out of college, I submitted some poems to Wolfe’s Local Scribble zine, and little did I know it would afford entry into the arcane orbit of the Davis County Mafia of Moss, Wolfe and friends like filmmaker/musician Joe Judd, photographer Clint Wardlow, actor/raconteur Curt James and artist/filmmaker David Brothers. They were all making obscure art and weird little videos for songs and stories they’d written, and it was a strange and magical world to someone who had not long before barely ventured out of the comparatively bland suburbs of Salt Lake County.

But Moss was the most eccentric of them all, with long hair, thick glasses, Western shirts from the D.I. (before thrift shopping was hip), artwork utilizing the secret Deseret alphabet, folk songs about weirdos like dinner-theater thespian and convicted murderer “Captain Nemo,” and “Movie Man” Al Adamson, director of Satan’s Sadists. He was kinda like our local version of Tiny Tim (his trebly voice in similar register) and later on, I would think, Daniel Johnston. To be reductive, Moss was like some kind of hippie nerd.

To be accurate, he was a true original.

Once I saw his artwork, I just had to have it. Moss’ woodburnings—on boards and gourds and swatches of leather—featured hand-drawn psychedelic designs and cartoonish figures, and decoupaged photographs of pop-culture icons like Elvis and Frank Sinatra. Others depicted obscure folk music icons or mysterious local figures and landmarks like the artist and writer Everett Ruess or Gilgal Gardens. The Mormon-created Deseret alphabet made it all indigenous to Utah, tightly woven into the fabric of all his work.

A number of years after meeting Moss and becoming an ardent follower, I interviewed him on several occasions. It was an insight into his living space and working space, which were usually the same thing. He lived pretty hand-to-mouth in the ’90s and early ’00s managing his parents’ storage business in Clearfield for free rent. Later, he got a small downtown apartment in which his artworks, in various stages of completion, were stacked against each other like books on shelves.

I, like many of Moss’ friends and admirers, came to think he should have some wider cult following, like Johnston. He achieved that much locally, with shows at galleries, the Utah Arts Festival

RANDY HARWARD

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IN MEMORIAM

Bob Moss holds one of his creations—an illustration of Oscar Brand’s song “Blinded by Turds.” and places like the Beehive Tea Room and Blue Plate Diner. After years of releasing albums mostly under Mike Kirkland’s Soundco label, He began to attract the attention of people like Los Angeles actor/screenwriter Charles Schneider (Ghost World, Art School Confidential). Underground comic book artists Daniel Clowes (Ghost World) and Rick Altergott (Doofus) created cover art for his two biggest releases, Folknik (2002) and Folknik 2 (2005). His art was exhibited at the Outré Gallery in Sydney, Australia. The gallery also featured some of his art in the 1999 Taboo: The Art of Tiki (Outré Gallery Press). But Moss always insisted that he’d like modest fame, in the form of a few more people coming out to see him play, or a little more money for art supplies.

When he passed away on Dec. 11, 2011, it rippled through Utah’s art and music community. The outpouring of affection for him at his remembrance—where friends and family tearfully gathered among a collection of his art, as well as his trademark hat, banjo and an urn containing his ashes—was striking for somebody who was such a recluse. Moss might not have been wealthy, but he was generous in deed and spirit. Every once in a while, he scrawled letters to his friends, often riddled with misspellings and accompanied by a drawing or print, or even a small piece of art for birthdays.

His art shows and concerts—as sporadic as they were—touched people because he was genuine. Kirkland is currently preparing to release a two-volume tribute album—due in early 2017—featuring a “who’s who” of local musicians, including Judd, Eli Morrison, Aldine Strychnine and Bad Brad Wheeler.

Moss’ greatest gift to us was the example of uncompromising dedication to his art. He really didn’t ask anything more of life than to continue creating. The amount of work he generated was inspiring, not to mention original. Who else would record an album’s worth of Sinatra songs on banjo? Moss’ was a singular artistic vision in which all art is folk art and all music is folk music, and he was constantly experimenting. Five years later, I still feel his absence; but thanks to his art and music, I also perceive his presence. CW

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Crazy Crazy Bike

Diggin’ the mysterious Balkan rock band Rock Ko Fol.

BY RANDY HARWARD rharward@cityweekly.net

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he other day, something strange popped up on the Sandy Station calendar. Among the mostly stand-up comedy events—and the really odd IT/coding night—was a poster showing three dudes.

One looks like the Predator, another resembles a caricature of any chin-bearded ’90s rap-rocker, and the other could be the spawn of Geddy Lee and Squidward. Below them it says, “A Pure Sevdah Rock Featuring.” I was confused, too. Especially because this weirdass unknown band is charging $30 a ticket, like they’re famous. It was time to fire up the internet and get some answers.

The results were scanty—and in Bosnian.

But that’s what Google Translate and CTRLC are for, amirite? It was easier to click on a YouTube link, so that’s what happened. The first result was a concert that clocked in at two-and-a-half hours—too much. Second was a live song—too little. The third thumbnail down looked to be a full album titled Sabah Zorom. Just right.

The sepia-toned first shots of “Vilo” seemed to confirm that the exotic acoustic guitar-as-sitar intro would usher in meathead music. Hyper-manly vocals in 3-2-wha?

When Squidward and the Predator join in, and Limp Durst-kit goes electric, it’s … cool.

The eastern melody and galloping rhythm conjure images of the desert and men on horses heading into battle, then gives way to keyboards straight out of Emerson, Lake & Palmer. So, does “sevdah” mean prog rock?

Nope. Sevdah music, or sevdalinka, is traditional folk influenced by music from Asia, Europe and Sephardic (Spanish/Portuguese Jewish) culture. It’s not folk-rock, and it’s not the crazy Mongolian metal of a band like Tengger Cavalry. But it is exotic and mysterious and progressive. It was time to phone a Bosnian friend.

“They’re not bad from what I’ve heard,” my friend texted back. “But those guys are new school. The best [Balkan rock] bands are from the ’80s.” He sent links, but I remained transfixed by Rock Ko Fol, whose name, he said,

Left to right: Elvis Katic, Dinko Salihbasic and Almir “AC” Crnovic of Rock Ko Fol.

means, “Pretend rock. Loosely translated.”

If so, the name is surely ironic. Rock Ko Fol doesn’t play standard rock ’n’ roll, and they’re genuine. It would’ve been great to ask the band about it, but City Weekly was lucky to get them to send a photo. Multiple requests for an interview were seen but not answered. Which is fine, because mystery is fun. So we work with what we have. Time to activate Google Translate.

Biographical information about the band is confined to two short passages from their Facebook page. One loosely says, “We are a rock ’n’ roll band, but do not underestimate any kind of music which can be very much noticed in our repertoire that we play! We underestimate just kitsch, bad taste, primitivism … and all those and what supplements to these three.” The other: “Our gigs are trying by all means to unite all people, all nations and all kinds of music in the ‘single entity’ that forgets all the problems and enjoys the music.”

It was time to give that epic YouTube concert a look. Filmed in the band’s ostensible adopted hometown of San Francisco, it opens with the above quotes, then crossfades to the band launching into “Ludo Luda (Kolo),” which Google says means “Crazy Crazy (Bike).” Bassist Almir “AC” Crnovic (aka Geddy Squidward), singer-guitarist Dinko Salihbasic and drummer Elvis Katic (Predator) perform in a line—each member equidistant from the crowd. “Ludo” gives way to the apparent political anthem “Afrika” and a power ballad “Sev Ce Lo O Mila Moja” (“Strain Will Separately Oh Baby”). Salihbasic jokes with the crowd. In Bosnian.

Each song yields another surprise. While I was expecting more multiculti prog rock, Rock Ko Fol offers more than that—fistpumping arena-rock anthems, smoldering blues-boogie, punk and more. And that’s just in the first half-hour of the show. As the timecode ticks away and the band plays on, you just want to know more about them. Since they’re not doing interviews and Google doesn’t live-translate stage raps, that’ll be tough. Which is fine. Mystery is fun. CW

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MUSIC PICKS

THURSDAY 12.15

Planes Mistaken for Stars, Glow, God’s Revolver, Charlatan

The post-Nirvana explosion and the relatively new CD format boosted popular music sales figures in the ‘90s. These days, approximately 20 years later, a whole passel of those musical outfits have been or are near celebrating two decades extant—and ‘90s nostalgia is in full bloom. Denver-byway-of-Peoria, Ill., post-hardcore quartet Planes Mistaken for Stars is one of those bands, having debuted in 1998 with a selfreleased, self-titled EP, then going on to record for noteworthy indies like Deep Elm, Dim Mak and No Idea. They’re the missing link between hardcore punk, a touch of the grit of metal, the rhythm of good old-fashioned rock ‘n’ roll, and even the melodicism of pop—seemingly something for everyone in an age of increasing niche-ification. Their newest, Prey, comes to us via Deathwish label (same as local Cult Leader!) and finds them in good form after nearly a decade in between recordings. Locals Gloe, God’s Revolver and Charlatan open. (Brian Staker) The Urban Lounge, 241 S. 500 East, 8 p.m., $12 in advance, $15 day of show, 21+, TheUrbanLoungeSLC.com

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Old Dominion might be the best example of country music’s unabashed embrace of contemporary pop precepts—a band that eschews cowboy hats and tearin-my-beer ballads in favor of a snappy up-tempo sound that’s both radio-ready and engaging. With a stunningly successful debut album oddly titled Meat and Candy, as well as a string of successful singles— not to mention a nod from the Academy of Country Music (Breakthrough Group of the Year), nominations from the Country Music Association (Best New Artist, Vocal Group of the Year) and acceptance via the American Music Awards (Favorite Duo or Group—Country)—this crafty quintet has become Nashville’s newest sensation.

Opener Steve Moakler is the perennial journeyman musician, an unassuming singer and songwriter whose music is the result of experience and inspiration. Dierks Bentley recorded his song “Riser,” prompting a Grand Ole Opry debut and critical kudos from any number of prestigious publications. Humble to a fault, Moakler’s awshucks attitude assures an instant embrace (Lee Zimmerman) The Depot, 400 W. South Temple, 7 p.m., $21 in advance, $26 day of show, DepotSLC.com

Planes Mistaken for Stars a Park City performer whose supple blend of tender tones, barroom bravado and late-night nuance defines him as a superior storyteller with a thoroughly seasoned sound. Three albums on, he’s staked his claim as a local favorite, one whose equally capable of delivering both humor and heartbreak. (LZ) O.P. Rockwell, 628 Main, Park City, 9 p.m., $10, OPRockwell.com

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Hair metal has always had a foothold in Utah. The genre, you might say, even held on tight in SLC during the early ‘90s, when it was getting grunge’s dirty army boot up its leather-encased ass. Coming, as these bands were wont to say, from Hollywood, Wildside didn’t release their debut album Under the Influence until 1992, but they enjoyed some radio success in spite of their tardiness.

Our own KBER 101.1 FM played the hell out of the singles “Hang On Lucy” and “So Far Away,” and seemed to have the band as in-studio guests every time they played here. True to their trashy hair band image, Wildside made jokes about a bodily fluid that “smells like a swimming pool” while yukkin’ it up with Mick and Alan. As with many of the truly good genre latecomers, it took three years for Wildside’s sophomore album to surface, but they held on, just like Lucy, until they couldn’t. According to Lexis Nexis—I mean, Wikipedia—in 2004, Wildside performed back-to-back sold-out comeback shows right here in SLC. Now they’re headed back here with 80 percent original members, and a serious live show.

Drew Hannah has lost vocal (and hair) range with age, but Wildside’s sneering brand of hair metal is now nastier than ever. (Randy Harward) The Royal, 4760 S. 900 East, 7 p.m., $20 in advance, $25 day of show, 21+, TheRoyalSLC.com

It’s a night of ska-lebration of the skaeason by local acts—for once, none of them named after ska-ggestive foodstuffs like dills or gherkins or cucumber engaged in acts of musical locomotion.

The Anchorage strives for songwriting a little more passionate than the bouncy, jokey fare of some in the genre; their selfreleased album Regrow (2015) has a bit of an environmental theme. A horn section is prevalent in Gorgeous Gorges, with vocalist Jonali Sorensen adding a female voice to the proceedings. This is somewhat of a reprise of “Skalloween,” also hosted at Kilby Court, which marked the GG’s debut performance, with The Anchorage and several other groups. The faux skariness of Oct. 31 was well suited to ska, and it should transfer well to the season of giving, as big-hearted as ska music is.

MIOS (Music Is Our Soul) adds some dub and reggae to the festivities. (BS) Kilby Court, 741 S. 330 West, 7 p.m., $6, KilbyCourt.com

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DECEMBER 15, 2016 | 43

BEST OF UTAH PARTY

Jerry Joseph & the Jackmormons

TONY MOREY

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THURSDAY 12.15

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3200 E BIG COTTONWOOD RD. | 801.733.5567 THEHOGWALLOW.COM

You hear about these magical singer-songwriters all the time. These guys who’re possessed of some cosmic fuckin’ gift, how they can weave tunes from the electricity in the air, and articulate things in a way mere mortals cannot. Whether or not they’re all that special depends on whether or not you connect to the music. Some people can’t get past Bob Dylan’s loopy nasal voice to understand why he deserved a Nobel Prize. Others can’t figure out why Chris Whitley had to pile on so many effects to a perfectly fine Resonator guitar, or why Nick Cave sounds like he showers in patchouli and blood. Jerry Joseph has spent more than 30 years toiling in relative obscurity, releasing 30 albums, touring like a beast and playing every show like it’s his last—while bigger artists sing his praises and cover his songs, and guys like me slobber over everything he does, and fester to add our voices to the epic redemption song that is his backstory. He’s still playing clubs and small theaters, and when he does, you can scan the crowd and see people, mouths agape, eyes transfixed, visibly touched in some secret section of their souls …

Yup. Sounds like bullshit hyperbole, or at least a trite screenplay. Except he’s real. Jerry Joseph is real. (Randy Harward) The State Room, 638 S. State, 8 p.m., $16, 21+, TheStateRoomSLC.com

CONCERTS & CLUBS

CITY WEEKLY’S HOT LIST FOR THE WEEK

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THURSDAY 12.15 LIVE MUSIC

Jerry Joseph & the Jackmormons (The State Room) see p. 44 John Davis (The Hog Wallow) Melting Rain + Mijos + Oceanside Parakeets (Kilby Court) Old Dominion + Steve Moakler (The Depot) see p. 40 Planes Mistaken for Stars + Glow + God’s Revolver + Charlatan (The Urban Lounge) see p. 40

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE DJ Birdman (Bourbon House) Dueling Pianos (The Spur Bar & Grill) Jazz Jam Session (Sugar House Coffee) Reggae Thursday (The Royal)

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The Coverdogs (Brewski’s) Chris Cutz (Downstairs) Dead Walkers + Reaper The Story Teller + Low Prophet + Sonage (The Loading Dock) Folk Hogan + Balls Capone + Utah County Swillers (Metro Music Hall) Latin Unity Holiday Jam + Mr. Capone-e + Mr. Little One (The Complex) “LOL” (Club 90) Pacific Mambo Orchestra (Eccles Center) Pixie Party Grass Boys (The Spur Bar and Grill) The Pharcyde (Park City Live) The Spazmatics (Liquid Joe’s) Sunsleeper + Westing + The Last Lost Continent + Indigo Plateau (Kilby Court) Stonefed (The Hog Wallow) see p. 46 Telesomniac + Lost in Bourbon + The Doldrums (Muse Music) Void Omnia + Dark Lord + Burn Your World (Club X) The Wayne Hoskins Band (Funk’n Dive) Wildside (The Royal) see p. 41

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A War Within (In The Venue) AC Slater (SKY) The Anchorage + Gorgeous Gorges + MIOS (Kilby Court) see p. 41 The Dead Crow + A Dead Desire + Memories Lost + Carrie Myers (Kamikaze’s) Devil Whale of a Christmas Party! feat. The Bully + Santa Baby + Sarah Anne Degraw + Coyote Vision Group + Birthquake + Red Bennies + 90s Television + Quiet Oaks + Spenny Relya + Starmy (The Urban Lounge) Johnny Neel + Bryon Friedman (O.P. Rockwell) see p. 40 Khensu + The Outsiders + Dusk Raps (Metro Music Hall) LeeAnn Rimes (Dejoria Center) Los Hellcaminos (The Spur Bar and Grill) Monorchist, Widdrim & Magda-Vega (Ice Haus) Murphy and the Giant (Piper Down) Rick Gerber & The Nightcaps (Brewski’s) Rock Ko Fol (Sandy Station) see p. 38 Stonefed (The Hog Wallow) see p. 46 Tritonal (Park City Live) Victor Menegaux (The Downstairs) Will Baxter Band (The Green Pig)

KARAOKE

HOME OF THE

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LIVE MUSIC

DJ Jeff (The Red Door) DJ Juggy (Bourbon House) DJ Rude Boy + Bad Boy Brian (Johnny’s on Second) Noche de Perreo (Liquid Joe’s)

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Cowboy Karaoke (The Cabin) Karaoke (Willie’s Lounge) Karaoke w/ DJ Benji (A Bar Named Sue) Live Band Karaoke with TIYB (Club 90)

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE

FRIDAY & SATURDAY 12.16-17

CONCERTS & CLUBS

There’s an aspect of jam bands we don’t hear about. Something beyond stereotypes and tropes like the hippie/pothead jokes and the songs that never end. Or the names that reference weed and eating and maybe eating weed. That thing is a general vibe. And yes, “vibe” sounds like we’re headed for more of the same. Maybe we are—or at least we’re fleshing out the surface scratches by explaining that maybe weed and hippies symbolize more than melting into a couch and never bathing or rambling on and on for what seems like an eternity before getting to something that more or less resembles a point, or at least an end. It’s freedom. The freedom to be who you are, on your own terms and on your own clock, and to feel good about it. Listen to almost any jam band—the Dead, Phish, Widespread Panic, Ekoostik Hookah, Jupiter Coyote, Leftover Salmon, Umphrey’s McGee, moe. That vibe is the common thread, and it snakes through the music of Moab quartet Stonefed, who come up here for their monthly two-nighter at the Hog Wallow this weekend. If you need a break before that last weeklong holiday clusteryouknowwhat, a sunny palate cleanser before it gets real, these guys have the prescription. But just so we’re clear, it’s not medical marijuana. (RH) The Hog Wallow, 3200 E. Big Cottonwood Canyon Road, Cottonwood Heights, 9:30 p.m., $7, 21+, TheHogWallow.com

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Alicia Stockman (The Spur Bar and Grill)

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE Monday Night Blues Jam (The Royal) Open Blues Jam (The Green Pig)

KARAOKE

Bingo Karaoke (The Tavernacle) Karaoke (Poplar Street Pub)

TUESDAY 12.20 LIVE MUSIC

Human Leather + Civil Lust + Bobo + Karl Jorgensen (The Urban Lounge) Jordan Young (The Spur Bar and Grill) Joyce Manor + The Hotelier + Crying (Kilby Court)

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE

Karaoke w/ DJ Thom (A Bar Named Sue on State) Karaoke That Doesn’t Suck (Twist) Karaoke w/ Spotlight Entertainment (Keys on Main) Karaoke (The Tavernacle)

WEDNESDAY 12.21 LIVE MUSIC

Michelle Moonshine (The Spur Bar and Grill) Totem City + Cera + Franklin Good (Kilby Court) The Wild War + The Artificial Flower Company + Diotima (The Urban Lounge)

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE Open Mic (Muse Music) DJ Birdman (Twist) DJ Kurtis Strange (Willie’s Lounge)

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CROSSWORD PUZZLE

Š 2016

GET DOWN

BY DAVID LEVINSON WILK

ACROSS

56. Aerated beverage 57. Mardi ____ 58. Make less difficult 59. "I did NOT see that coming" 60. Start and end of many a flight 61. Stuff in a backpack 62. Literary pal of Tom 63. It takes a toll: Abbr.

64. Smitten

Last week’s answers

DECEMBER 15, 2016 | 49

No math is involved. The grid has numbers, but nothing has to add up to anything else. Solve the puzzle with reasoning and logic. Solving time is typically 10 to 30 minutes, depending on your skill and experience.

| CITY WEEKLY |

Complete the grid so that each row, column, diagonal and 3x3 square contain all of the numbers 1 to 9.

SUDOKU

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8. Botch 9. Surname of presidential hopefuls in 1968 and 2012 10. Tech debut of 1998 11. Have the nerve 12. Ballerinas 14. 90 degrees from sur 21. Vowelless interjection 22. & 25. Topmost points 26. Reach the Top 40, say 27. Giver's opposite 29. Emcee's delivery 30. Little issue to "pick" 32. "What did ____ deserve this?"

33. "Catch-22," e.g.

34. Birds flying in a V formation 36. ____-mo replay DOWN 38. Sharpton and Roker 1. ____ Piper 41. Actor McKellen 2. Prefix with phobia 42. Forever and a day 3. Film character who says "I'd just as soon kiss 43. Really let have it a Wookiee!"

48. Worries 4. Oscar-winning actress named after Shirley 49. One justification for Temple the Iraq war, for short 5. Early trial presentation 51. Gun, in old mob slang 6. Texter's "ciao" 54. Blog entries 7. ____ curriculum

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1. ____ d'Or (Cannes award) 6. "31 Days of Oscar" channel 9. "Good ____!"

13. Sherpa's tool 15. French "you" 16. "ER" actor Epps 17. Fromm and Segal 18. 12-mo. periods 19. Where Spirit landed in 2004 20. First lyric of the chorus of a #1 1975 hit (or how to solve the top right square) 23. $5 bills, slangily 24. Word before "Happy New Year!"

25. When to hear "O Romeo, Romeo! wherefore art thou Romeo?"

28. Relatives 31. Faulkner's "As I Lay ____" 35. Noises at a street protest 37. Actress Long of "Boyz N the Hood" 39. Anonymous John 40. Second lyric of the chorus of a #1 1975 hit (or how to solve the bottom left square) 44. Emily Dickinson's "Ended, ____ it begun" 45. Row 46. Washington and others 47. Toss about, as petals 50. Yule beverage 52. Where to learn anglais 53. Turn (up), as intensity 55. About 3/4 of a football field 57. Third lyric of the chorus of a #1 1975 hit (or how to solve the grid's circled squares) 64. Some savings, for short 65. "That's what ____ said!"

66. A suspect might appear in one 67. Cape Canaveral org.

68. Lean-____ (simple shelters) 69. Go on the offensive 70. 6-0, in tennis 71. Used a chair 72. Radiohead frontman Thom

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INSIDE / COMMUNITY BEAT PG. 50 INK PG. 52 FREE WILL ASTROLOGY PG. 53 UTAH JOB CENTER PG. 54 POETS CORNER PG. 55 URBAN LIVING PG. 55

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send leads to

Whether you’re looking for the perfect party dress or professional work attire, check out Apt. 202 Boutique. In business for nine years, the contemporary women’s shop offers each customer a stylist experience when they walk through the door, without any pressure.

“People get intimidated by the word ‘stylist,’” owner Ashley Rothwell-Campagna says. “But we have only two employees in the shop, by design. People can find boutiques intimidating, or feel like staff won’t talk to them—we are the total opposite. We are just happy to help you get dressed.”

Rothwell-Campagna is committed to providing every customer with exceptional service. “We can dress you head-to-toe in age-appropriate items,” she says. “I love helping people feel a little more confident.”

The boutique offers a wide array of items from unique designers, including delicate earrings from Oregon-based jeweler Favor, blouses with detailing from Cooper and Ella, shimmery dresses with sequins and lace and butter-soft button-downs by Bella Dahl. They also sell notebooks, candles, cal-

Apt. 202 stocks products from companies that share their views on social and environmental consciousness. endars and more that would make perfect holiday gifts and stocking stuffers. Rothwell-Campagna takes pride in their stock of merchandise that she describes as “stunningly different.”

That combination—lovely and handpicked—is reflected in the boutique’s whimsical décor. In addition to racks of clothes, the shop is filled with old chests and suitcases, vases of peacock feathers, an antique grandfather clock and a quote from Sophia Loren on the wall—“Nothing makes a woman more beautiful than the belief that she is beautiful.”

“I call this place my sanctuary,” RothwellCampagna says of her business. “It’s where

RUTHANNE FROST

community@cityweekly.net

The shop’s variety of candles and small trinkets are perfect stocking stuffers.

I come to be me. I’ve created a wonderful, loyal clientele that have become like family.”

The Apt. 202 staffers genuinely value their customers, she adds. “We know people have a lot of options, especially with the holidays and online shopping, so we try to give everyone that personal touch.”

Additionally, she’s committed to giving back to the community. In 2015, the shop picked a different local charity each month to donate a portion of its proceeds to. Rothwell-Campagna also offers the space as an event venue to local nonprofits and charities to host parties and fundraisers. The boutique recently staged an event

RUTHANNE FROST

Low Pressure High Fashion

RUTHANNE FROST

| COMMUNITY | | CITYWEEKLY.NET |

50 | DECEMBER 15, 2016

PHOTO OF THE WEEK BY

Their selection of women’s jewelry and clothing highlights local designers.

which gave shoppers a chance to receive a discount on their purchase in exchange for donating jewelry for the Children’s Center charity luncheon. “We’re a small business and we all need to pitch in and support those around us who don’t have quite as much,” she says. n

Apt. 202 Boutique 955 E. 900 South, Salt Lake City 801-355-0228 Monday-Saturday: 10 a.m.-6 p.m.

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Go to RealAstrology.com for Rob Brezsny’s expanded weekly audio horoscopes and daily text-message horoscopes.

Audio horoscopes also available by phone at 877-873-4888 or 900-950-7700.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) Physicist Stephen Hawking is skeptical of the hypothesis that humans might someday be able to travel through time. To jokingly dramatize his belief, he threw a party for time travelers from the future. Sadly, not a single chrononaut showed up to enjoy the Champagne and hors d’oeuvres Hawking had prepared. Despite this discouraging evidence, I guarantee that you will have the potential to meet with Future Versions of You on a regular basis during the next nine months.

These encounters are likely to be metaphorical or dreamlike rather than literal, but they will provide valuable information as you make decisions that affect your destiny for years to come. The first of these heart-to-hearts should come very soon.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) During these last few weeks, you might have sometimes felt like smashing holes in the wall with your head, or dragging precious keepsakes into the middle of the street and setting them on fire, or delivering boxes full of garbage to people who don’t appreciate you as much as they should. I hope you abstained from doing things like that. Now here are some prescriptions to help you graduate from unproductive impulses: Make or find a symbol of one of your mental blocks, and bash it to pieces with a hammer; clean and polish precious keepsakes, and perform rituals to reinvigorate your love for them; take as many trips to the dump as necessary to remove the congestion, dross and rot from your environment.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20) “If you don’t use your own imagination, somebody else is going to use it for you,” said writer Ronald Sukenick. That’s always true, but it will be especially important for you to keep in mind in 2017. You Geminis will have an unparalleled power to enlarge, refine, and tap into your imagination. You’ll be blessed with the motivation and ingenuity to make it work for you in new ways, which could enable you to accomplish marvelous feats of creativity and self-transformation. Now here’s a warning: If you don’t use your willpower to take advantage of these potentials, your imagination will be subject to atrophy and colonization.

CANCER (June 21-July 22) Why are Australian sand wasps so skilled at finding their way back home after being out all day? Here’s their trick: When they first leave the nest each morning, they fly backward, imprinting on their memory banks the sights they will look for when they return later. Furthermore, their exiting flight path is a slow and systematic zigzag pattern that orients them from multiple directions. I recommend that you draw inspiration from the sand wasps in 2017, Cancerian. One of your important tasks will be to keep finding your way back to your spiritual home, over and over again.

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DECEMBER 15, 2016 | 53

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) Vault 21, a restaurant in Dunedin, New Zealand, serves sautéed AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) locusts. For $5, patrons receive a plate of five. The menu refers Singer-songwriter Tom Waits has a distinctive voice. One fan to the dish not as “Oily Sizzling Grasshoppers,” but rather as described it this way: “Like how you’d sound if you drank a quart of “Sky Prawns.” Satisfied customers know exactly what they’re bourbon, smoked a pack of cigarettes and swallowed a pack of razor eating, and some say the taste does indeed resemble prawns. I blades. Late at night. After not sleeping for three days.” Luckily, bring this to your attention, Leo, because it illustrates a talent Waits doesn’t have to actually do any of those self-destructive things you will have in abundance during 2017: re-branding. You’ll to achieve his unique tone. In fact, he’s wealthy from selling his music, know how to maximize the attractiveness and desirability of and has three kids with a woman to whom he’s been married for 36 things by presenting them in the best possible light. years. I foresee a similar potential for you in the coming weeks and months. You might be able to capitalize on your harmless weirdness, VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) earn rewards by expressing your charming eccentricities and be both The literal translation of the German word Kummerspeck is strange and popular. “grief bacon.” It refers to the weight gained by people who, while wallowing in self-pity, eat an excess of comfort food. I PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20) know more than a few Virgos who have been flirting with this Was punk rock born on June 4, 1976? A fledgling band known as development lately, although the trigger seems to be self-doubt the Sex Pistols played that night for a crowd of 40 people at a small as much as self-pity. In any case, here’s the good news: The trend venue in Manchester, England. Among the audience members was is about to flip. A flow of agreeable adventures is due to begin Morrissey, who got so inspired that he started his own band, The soon. You’ll be prodded by fun challenges and provocative stimSmiths. Also in attendance was a rowdy guy who would soon launch uli that will boost your confidence and discourage Kummerspeck. the band Joy Division, despite the fact that he had never played an instrument. The men who would later form the Buzzcocks also saw LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) the performance by Johnny Rotten and his crew. According to music “Since you are like no other being ever created since the begincritic David Nolan, these future pioneers came away from the June 4 ning of time, you are incomparable,” wrote journalist Brenda show with the conclusion, “You don’t have to be a virtuoso or a musi- Ueland. Pause for a moment and fully take in that fact, Libra. cal genius to be in a band; anyone can do it.” I see parallels between It’s breathtaking and daunting. What a huge responsibility it this seminal event and your life in the coming weeks. is to be absolutely unique. In fact, it’s so monumental that you might still be shy about living up to it. But how about if you make ARIES (March 21-April 19) 2017 the year you finally come into your own as the awesomely “Living is a form of not being sure, not knowing what next or how,” unprecedented creature that you are? I dare you to more fully said dancer Agnes De Mille. “We guess. We may be wrong, but we acknowledge and express your singular destiny. Start today! take leap after leap in the dark.” As true as her words might be for most of us much of the time, I suspect they don’t apply to you right SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) now. This is one of those rare moments when feeling total certainty “To dream … to dream has been the business of my life,” wrote is justified. Your vision is extra clear and farseeing. Your good humor author Edgar Allan Poe. I don’t expect you to match his devotion and expansive spirit will ensure that you stay humble. As you take to dreams in 2017, Scorpio, but I do hope you will become more leap after leap, you’ll be surrounded by light. deeply engaged with your waking fantasies and the stories that unfold as you lie sleeping. Why? Because your usual approaches TAURUS (April 20-May 20) to gathering useful information won’t be sufficient. To be suc“We are torn between nostalgia for the familiar and an urge for the cessful, both in the spiritual and worldly senses, you’ll need foreign and strange,” wrote author Carson McCullers. Are you ready extra access to perspectives that come from beyond your ratioto give that adage a twist, Taurus? In the coming weeks, I think you nal mind. Here’s a good motto for you in 2017: “I am a lavish and should search for foreign and strange qualities in your familiar world. practical dreamer.”

Such a quest might initially feel odd, but will ultimately be healthy and interesting. It will also be good preparation for the next chapter of your life, when you will saunter out into unknown territory and find ways to feel at home there.

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54 | DECEMBER 15, 2016

Chief Commercial Officer for Boart Longyear Company (Salt Lake City, UT) Responsible for commercial organization incl sales, mktg & new product dvlpmt for Products & Drilling Services.

Oversee mktg communications-branding, public relations, advtg, white papers, trade shows, seminars, sales support, analyst & mkt research mgmt, & web site dsgn & content. Position supervises 175 employees, incl Commercial Mgrs (USA, LAM, APAC, EMEA, Canada), Area Sales Dir (Americas, EMEA, APAC), Director Global Product Mgt & Mktg, Director Global Strategic Info Systems, Mgr Global Commercial Analysis & Strategy & their direct reports. Position reqs 25% domestic & int’l travel. Reqs Master’s or Bach’s deg in Business Admin, Mktg, or related field. Post Bach’s progressive exp in business dvlpmt w/in drilling or mining industry is reqd (5 yrs w/ Master’s or 7 yrs w/ Bach’s), which must incl some exp in: int’l supply chain & mktg leadership; dvlping & implmtg service-oriented commercial strategy incl commercial bids & multi-country negotiations; understanding of commodities markets; mining co’s budgeting & procuring drilling services processes & strategies; mining sector mkt research & analysis; customer segmentation; & business intelligence tools & reporting.

Send resumes to: Reid Millerberg, Boart Longyear Company, 2570 W 1700 S, Salt Lake City, UT 84104.

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Poets Corner

MY HOPE

Fluffy. Float on clouds. Boats. Kisses.

Puppies. Kittens. Daisies. Babies. Loud.

Crys are soothed, all is good, neighbors love in neighborhoods And something new unites the world Gardens thrive, a baby girl Joy and hope and love unfurls A better brighter braver world

Kenneth Corbet Send your poem (max 15 lines), to: Poet’s Corner, City Weekly, 248 South Main Street, SLC, UT 84101 or e-mail to poetscorner@cityweekly.net.

Published entrants receive a $15 value gift from CW. Each entry must include name and mailing address.

#cwpoetscorner

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December is a time of giving—giving to the less fortunate to make sure they have shoes, socks coats and food; giving to your family to let them know you care, and giving to your beloved because, oh, the trouble you’d be in if you opted out of presenting a token of your affection.

Don’t forget to give to yourself as well.

This year, you should consider investing in your personal safety. There are self-defense items that we take for granted, like pepper spray or mace. But the downside of those tools is that they can be used against you if an attacker can wrestle them from your hands. The newest items are personal alarms or sirens that can be attached to a backback, keychain or purse or look like jewelry. You simply activate the alarm, and it emits a loud noise to scare off the attacker and attract the attention of passersby.

There are also some security devices that can be silently activated to alert a network of friends and family. Press the gizmo attached to your sports bra, and a text message is sent to whomever you choose, telling them that you need help.

The hottest gifts right now have to do with home safety. You’ll find a huge variety of cameras and alarms offered by hundreds of companies in a wide price range from $19.99 to tens of thousands of dollars. You can call a local home-security company to install a system for you and pay a monthly fee of $30+ to monitor your doors and windows, or you can purchase do-it-yourself gadgets off the web. There’s the new doorbell with a camera which you can answer on your phone to see who’s standing at your door. The Nest system has been out now for a few years and is a handy, nicely designed smoke and CO alarm ($99 each at local hardware stores) that even a 2-year-old can install. Smart home security systems have now morphed into the Amazon Echo, so your little homebot can watch out for you.

The one constant is that crime isn’t going away as our city grows. If you actually watch the news on local channels, you can bet almost every broadcast will have videos of thieves stealing UPS packages from people’s doorsteps. Don’t have anything delivered to your home if you can avoid it—have items delivered this season to your workplace instead.

If you do install an alarm system, it also has the benefit of adding value to your home when you resell. Buyers want safety and security as much as you do. So while you’re out shopping this season, consider spending a bit on yourself. Give yourself the priceless gift that will continue to give for years to come: peace of mind. n Content is prepared expressly for Community and is not endorsed by City Weekly staff.

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