City Weekly Sept 8, 2016

C I T Y W E E K LY. N E T S E P T E M B E R 8 , 2 0 1 6 | V O L . 3 3 N 0 . 1 8

Bear River Blues With water already flowing from taps, why are Cache County leaders eager to form a water district?

By Colby Frazier

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CWCONTENTS COVER STORY LET’S GET SOAKING WET

Cache County voters will decide in November if they want to form a water conservancy district to manage the area’s H2O needs.

Cover illustration by Nick Jarvis

16 4 LETTERS 6 OPINION 8 NEWS 21 A&E 29 DINE 35 CINEMA 37 TRUE TV 38 MUSIC 51 COMMUNITY

CONTRIBUTOR GAVIN SHEEHAN Essentials, p. 21

This SLC native is a collector of music and Magic 8 Balls, and a lover of “all things geek.” A City Weekly contributor of eight years, he writes on local culture in his blog Gavin’s Underground at CityWeekly.net, and says his favorite part of the job is “being able to choose my own topics for my blog, as well as the awesome crew.”

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COMMENTS@CITYWEEKLY.NET @SLCWEEKLY

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Cover Story, Aug. 25, “The Beer Issue”

Utah has some great beers. Now if you could just buy them at the bottle shop … cold.

ROBERT JENSEN Via Facebook

My dog and I moved here a few weeks ago.

When I picked up this issue, I knew we were in the right place.

@TEAM_BUTT_SNIFF Via Instagram

Facebook post, Aug. 26, “A beer label says a thousand words (even if they’re a little slurred). Which one’s your favorite?”

Uinta’s Tilted Smile.

earthquake insurance? What science is it based on? The geologic record, which shows that there have been earthquakes roughly every 350-400 years, therefore another one should be coming anytime? That’s not how science, or geology, or earthquakes work.

Where do the 1-4 odds come from? Real math, or from Billy at State Farm’s head? Where does the 35 years come from? And what does the perhaps mean, perhaps yes, perhaps no?

I understand that the 1-4 odds allowed you to tie the earthquake issue to current events, and made for a nice piece, but please stick to reality. You still could have had a nice piece without trumping up (Ha! I can do it, too!) the facts to make an already valid point stronger. Instead, you turned me, and likely other thoughtful readers, off.

STEPHEN RIDEOUT Salt Lake City

JER JENN BEVAN Via Facebook

Opinion, Aug. 25, “Russian Roulette”

WHOA. Appreciate the informed, community-minded work you are doing!

@NOSEITALLINC Via Twitter

Don’t use fear tactics to make a point

I was disappointed when I read the opinion column [Aug. 25, “Russian Roulette”] in your most recent edition of City Weekly. While I have nothing at all against earthquake awareness, and even commend you bringing up the issue, I have a problem with the manner in which it was discussed. Your main argument in favor of earthquake preparation is based on a ridiculous statement: “According to many emergency management professionals, there is a 1-4 chance of our experiencing a killer earthquake disaster along the Wasatch, perhaps during the next 35 years.” Please don’t use fear tactics to try to make your point.

If you’re going to include those points, please clarify them. What emergency management professionals? The ones selling

Author response: If some of you are offended by the aggressive nature of my column, I apologize. If some of you go on to make your homes and lives safer, I am thrilled.

Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA), the state of Utah and most counties and municipalities spend millions each year to prepare, practice and be proficient in earthquake response. In Utah, where legislators won’t waste money on spit, they invest millions of dollars for something that professionals believe will happen.

The easiest way to explain is to refer to a summary of the smartest geologist and structural engineers who believe that the earthquake is coming and has a 1-4 chance of happening in our lifetime. I summarized this professional thinking in the statement made in the latest Envision Utah preparedness resilience pamphlet: “We have 165,000 unreinforced masonry buildings, which will suffer significant damage, killing approximately 7,700 adults and children in roof and wall collapses.”

I am sorry if you took this as sensational, or if it scared you. That was not the intention. Like so many that I have trained with in preparation and response, I am fearful

that many people who can be saved might not be because we don’t take this basic preparation step. You may choose not to. And you may choose not to wear seatbelts. That is your choice. For most of us, doing things that can minimize future risk is worth the shot.

I don’t care if you have earthquake insurance, or need FEMA assistance or have to move into Aunt Martha’s basement after the quake. I do care that your kid doesn’t die in his or her playpen because your roof caves in.

Drink, Aug. 25, “Beer Debunked”

Homebrewing is a great hobby. Where in the State of Utah can you have an award-winning 7-percent beer for $1 a 12-ounce bottle?

Or $2 for a 22-ounce bomber? After brewing 70-plus batches on my brew system, the equipment has paid for itself many times over. You can brew styles you could never get on the warm shelf at the liquor store. The folks at the Beer Nut and Salt City Brew Supply could not be any nicer or more helpful.

Give it a try, you won’t regret homebrewing.

STEVE MOGA

Via CityWeekly.net

Dine, Aug. 25, “Bohemian Rhapsody”

Stop telling people what a great place this is. It’s tough enough to get a seat now— much less if others start invading my favorite brewpub.

Soap Box, Aug 25, “From a proud Trump supporter”

Good for Aaron Heineman! Brave man. I, too, am a huge supporter, and echo exactly what you said. Why would anyone want more Kate Steinle murders? Why is this ignored? Why is it OK for my four grandparents to go through legal immigration, but it’s OK to let people in illegally? What hypocrisy from the bleeding hearts. I pray to God we get some sanity back into this country. We are circling the drain. I don’t care what color or nationality you are— just come here legally. Try getting into Mexico and see what they expect of you to be a citizen! Wake up, folks.

VICTORIA SHASHA Via Facebook

DOUG RICE

Via CityWeekly.net

Correction: “PR Power” [News, Sept. 1, City Weekly] incorrectly spelled 3rd District Court Judge Su J. Chon’s name.

STAFF Publisher JOHN SALTAS Editorial

Editor ENRIQUE LIMÓN Arts &Entertainment Editor SCOTT RENSHAW Music Editor RANDY HARWARD Senior Staff Writer STEPHEN DARK Staff Writer COLBY FRAZIER Copy Editor ANDREA HARVEY Proofers SARAH ARNOFF, LANCE GUDMUNDSEN

Dining Listings Coordinator MIKEY SALTAS Editorial Interns JORDAN FLOYD, CONNOR RICHARDS, RHETT WILKINSON Contributors CECIL ADAMS, KIMBALL BENNION, KATHARINE BIELE, ROB BREZSNY, BABS DE LAY, KYLEE EHMANN, BILL FROST, MARYANN JOHANSON, STAN ROSENZWEIG, TED SCHEFFLER, GAVIN SHEEHAN, CHUCK SHEPHERD, ERIC D. SNIDER, ALEX SPRINGER, BRIAN STAKER

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Associate Business Manager PAULA SALTAS Business Department Administrator ALISSA DIMICK Office Administrator CELESTE NELSON Technical Director BRYAN MANNOS

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Marketing Manager JACKIE BRIGGS

Marketing/Events Coordinator NICOLE ENRIGHT Street Team STEPHANIE ABBOTT, SHAUNTEL ARCHULETTA, BEN BALDRIDGE, TYLER GRAHAM, ADAM LANE, ANDY ROMERO, LAUREN TAGGE, MIKAYLA THURBUR, STEVEN VARGO,

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Director of Advertising, Magazine Division JENNIFER VAN GREVENHOF

Director of Advertising, Newsprint Division PETE SALTAS Digital Operations Manager ANNA PAPADAKIS Director of Digital Development CHRISTIAN PRISKOS Digital Sales LINDSAY LARKIN Senior Account Executives DOUG KRUITHOF, KATHY MUELLER

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OPINION

Keeping Safe

In 1965, before most of you were born, the U.S. Army taught me how to efficiently kill people. I learned how to kill, not only with a large variety of firearms such as handguns, long guns, automatic ones and large-caliber grenade launchers, but with small explosives such as booby traps, ordinary knives, pieces of wire for strangulation and even just with my hands. This training was more than half a century ago, so I am certain that today’s military training and weaponry are now much more efficient.

But, still, when I look back on the list of killing methods I learned as a young man, it’s all quite impressive. In 1965, America didn’t worry that training young men like me (only men in ’65) could create unintended consequences. Recently, like those who became ambushers of police, some people with military training have taken to using those efficient killing skills for purposes beyond which they were intended.

Moving ahead 51 years after my killingmethods training, I moved to Utah in 2006 and took a concealed-carry permit class.

The instructor made a really useful observation: “Keep that thing concealed, unless and until you plan to shoot someone.” His advice was very practical. “For instance,” he explained, “if you’re in a bank and it’s being robbed, who do you think the armed robber will see as his first threat to neutralize— grandma and three kids, or you with a gun on your hip?” Guns might not kill people, as the saying goes, but people with guns surely will kill people who also have guns.

Guns aren’t all that kill people. Lately on the news, people with knives, bombs, trucks and lots of other stuff are all adding to the statistics. Police officer defensive training includes how to respond to potential killers with knives as well as guns. Danger from being gunned down, or knifed down, or bombed, more often than not, comes statistically from friends and family who are mentally stressed and bent on suicide.

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Also, you know that the current level of danger has always been around us. In Jeffrey Toobin’s recent book, American Heiress: The Wild Saga of the Kidnapping, Crimes and Trial of Patty Hearst, and citing FBI statistics from the time, in 1972 there were 1,962 actual and attempted bombings, and 25 killed, in the U.S. In 1973 there were 1,995 bombings and 22 killed. In 1974, there were 2,044 bombings and 24 killed.

Suicide to make a statement is nothing new, either. In W WII, Japanese kamikaze pilots killed themselves for honor and patriotism. In the ’60s, Buddhist Monks set themselves on fire in public squares. Utah’s Butch Cassidy and Sundance went out in a rapid-fire blaze of glory.

So, how do you stop people who are indifferent to their own death from killing you and me? How do you prevent so many suicidal mental cases from morphing into mass terrorists? Utah Legislature identifies one solution to improving mental health: reduce porn. Evidently, they feel that the clearest path to safety is stopping dirty movies on the internet. I suggest they are solving the wrong problem.

In Washington, Rep. Rob Bishop, R-Utah, has taken a position that part of our growing safety problem is brought on by the culture that glamorizes violence through pop movies, games and social media. Like his equivalents in the Capitol, he really misses the point.

To change dangerous behavior, I agree with most mental health professionals that we need to do two things: 1. Determine which behavior is actually changeable. We’ve learned that changing someone’s sexual orientation isn’t, but changing suicidal and homicidal feelings is.

2. Identify which mental and societal buttons to switch in order to move perpetrators in the world from suicide and

violence to calmer ways to be heard.

If we can do this, we will reduce epidemic suicides, reduce suicide-induced murder, improve police officer safety and reduce terrorist threats by perpetrators willing to die.

Both Clinton and Trump differ on how to make us safe, but both dwell on Middle East religious influence instead of how to change people’s minds who are willing to die. The Dallas police shooter was not a terrorist from a Middle-Eastern culture but a pissed-off ex-soldier who found a cultural excuse to do what he would have done anyway with a different excuse if not for that one. That box-truckdriving killer in Nice, France, we now know, was nothing more than a pissed-off road rage petty criminal.

Rep. Jason Chaffetz, R-Utah, supports a bill proposed by Rep. Tim Murphy, R-Penn., to improve Medicaid coverage of mental health services and increase protections for volunteers who staff crisis centers and help lines. Chaffetz has called mentalhealth reform expensive, but thinks it could be an area of common ground for Republicans and Democrats. Go, Jason.

Of the many mental health instabilities I’ve been accused of over the years (yes, many), it’s never reached the level where people fear to be in the lane next to me at the gun range. But thanks to my highly efficient U.S. Army training and those ultraeasy Utah gun laws, just like your many friends and neighbors, your teachers, doctors, lawyers and food servers, you never know. Any one of us, certainly, could become your worst nightmare.

Rep. Chaffetz might be on to something.

Let him know you want him to get moving on that mental health bill and suitable funding. CW

UTAH LEGISLATURE IDENTIFIES ONE SOLUTION TO IMPROVING MENTAL HEALTH: REDUCE PORN.

Send feedback to comments@cityweekly.net

Readers can comment at cityweekly.net

How has porn affected your mental health?

Tyeson Rogers: I used to be 5-foot-8 and 170 pounds. Then porn ruined my life. Now I’m 6-foot-2 and 300 pounds.

Paula Saltas: Watching porn, or starring in it? Please be specific.

Jeremiah Smith: Not at all. In fact, I find most pornography very silly, as is the silliness surrounding it in Utah. If it was a Monty Python sketch, the general would shut it down for being too silly.

Bryan Bale: My response is an oft-repeated three-word phrase from the title track of Quiet Riot’s 1983 album Metal Health: “Bang Your Head.”

Nicole Enright:

​ C learly I have gone absolutely mad from looking at porn. ​

Randy Harward: It has exacerbated my inferiority complex. It’s no good for my ADD because of the whole hyperfocus thing. And I suspect I might have PTSD from some errant clicks. In the other hand, it has been there for me in the loneliest of times and my horizons are 69 percent girthier.

Sierra Sessions: Porn hasn’t really affected me mentally. It makes me appreciate real-life bodies. Although it does make me rethink some of the sounds that are made in it.

Lindsay Larkin: How much street cred do I get for admitting I’ve never watched nor seen pornography? I’m kind of an emotional disaster, so maybe I’m doing this all wrong.

Enrique Limón: The first porn I saw featured a lady pleasuring herself with a lit candle. After watching it, I swore off women and, sadly, Pottery Barns as well.

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HITS&MISSES

BY KATHARINE BIELE

There are pros and cons to living in Utah, and the state’s medical research is definitely a pro. Intermountain Healthcare gave credence to the practice of integrating mental health and diabetes in what Deseret News calls “the largest known study of mental health integration to date.” This is important in an era of controversy not only over health care, but its coverage, as well. Despite laws on mental-health parity and the Affordable Care Act, there are still plans that don’t cover mental health. Medicare is one. Meanwhile, the University of Utah is taking part in a continuing study of a new Alzheimer’s drug said to reduce brain plaques associated with the disease. The Salt Lake Tribune notes that Alzheimer’s is expected to affect 42,000 Utahns by 2025.

These are great long-term steps in health care despite immediate failure to legalize medical marijuana or to expand Medicaid.

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You have to read down a bit in the Deseret News report before you go, “Wait, What???”

“Crashes into the [Great Salt Lake] are frequent, so rescuers may have to turn to aerial support from the Utah National Guard and other agencies to retrieve any victims.” They are? While The Salt Lake Tribune was running a series on water quality, the D-News had the zinger. The story talked about the need to dredge the lake for a variety of peculiar reasons: Union Pacific is repairing the causeway in a manner that will decrease the south end by 18 inches. Not good news for sportsmen and the marina there. KSL reported threats to the brine-shrimp industry and waterfowl.

A Utah State University paper said the lake has shrunk 48 percent, down 11 feet since 1847. You just can’t take the lake for granted, as then-Gov. Norman Bangerter discovered with his pumps. Then again, what about those crashes?

What Environment?

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Sometimes it seems like the state of Utah just wants its pesky citizens to go away, die or something. It’s the coal miners they care about, and maybe Facebook. But that’s another story. Now, both PacifiCorp and the state are suing the Environmental Protection Agency for, uh, protecting the environment. They want to stop a plan to clean up the air and protect views in the Grand Canyon, Arches, Canyonlands, Mesa Verde and other Western parks, according to the Sierra Club among others. The New World Atlas of Artificial Sky Brightness shows encroaching light on Utah’s iconic national parks despite P.R. touting Utah for its dark skies. But the loss of stars isn’t the worst of it. D-News reports that Utah is preparing a new bid to ship coal to a California port.

FREDDIE TELLEZ

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RANDOM QUESTIONS, SURPRISING ANSWERS

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FIVE SPOT

If you’re involved in extracurricular activities at the University of Utah, there’s a good chance you’ve run into Ben Berger, who participates in nearly 10 clubs and organizations. Berger, now in his final year at the university, has maintained a 4.0 GPA throughout college and scored in the 99th percentile on the MCAT. Even with a schedule that would overwhelm a typical student, Berger stays educated on current events and encourages all students to get involved in school-sanctioned activities, and urges them to stay informed through news outlets.

What clubs do you participate in? How do you stay organized and maintain your GPA with all of your extracurriculars?

I’ve been involved in the molecular biology research in the U of Utah chemistry department, the Sigma Chi Fraternity, the Honors College Global Health Scholars, the American Chemical Society Student Chapter, the Mortar Board Senior Honors Society, survey research at the U of U hospital emergency department, the Order of Omega Greek Honors Society, and The Sponge student magazine for creative scientific expression. To stay organized, I set calendar appointments in my phone with as many reminders as it will allow me and I check my email compulsively. I have to work pretty hard to keep up with classes while doing these extracurricular activities and volunteering at a free clinic and in hospice, but I am able to stay motivated by keeping the goal of medical school at the forefront of my day-to-day life. I do my best to use my time efficiently, carry my laptop everywhere so that I can work during dull moments, and I drink a small Costa Rican village’s worth of coffee daily.

Why is it important for college students to get involved in clubs and stay informed with current events?

I firmly believe that every college student should join at least one dedicated student group. Through such organizations, students can complement their classroom learning by gaining skills, perspectives, experiences, ideas and relationships that not only enrich and enliven their college experience, but make them more attractive to potential employers or admissions committees, and help to prepare them for life after school.

I think that it’s important that students stay informed with current events because young people have such potential to influence the world around them, and reading the news familiarizes us with issues that may influence our lives, or issues whose courses of events we might influence ourselves.

What advice would you give to students just starting school? Anything you wish you did differently?

In addition to advising students to join a club (and preferably more than one!) in order to have experiences and development that they can’t get in the classroom, I strongly encourage all students to give their all to their classes even if they don’t love them, or even if they don’t know what they want to do. The single most common mistake that I’ve seen among my college peers is not trying in classes because they are not entirely sure of what they want to do, so they don’t see the purpose in their studying. All too often, students cripple themselves by receiving poor GPAs in their first year or two in school because they lack direction and thus lack motivation. I advise students to apply themselves fully to obtaining the highest GPA they possibly can, regardless of whether they like the class.

Having a high GPA in your early college years positions you to receive scholarship money, be accepted to internships or programs, earn leadership positions and much, much more.

A bad GPA in your early years can seriously limit you, and conversely, a strong GPA will give you a solid foundation from which to succeed in college, any further schooling your pursue, and in your professional lives.

—MIKEY SALTAS For an extended version of this interview, visit CityWeekly.net

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STRAIGHT DOPE Bad Blood

BY CECIL ADAMS SLUG SIGNORINO

The Science of Brewing...

My blood type is A negative. I’ve heard this can cause pregnancy issues, so I Googled “Rh-negative blood” and ran across a bunch of weirdo sites with “theories” about the origin of negative blood types and some online communities with seriously racist undertones. Where did all this crazy mythology surrounding blood types come from?

—Katrina

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That sure is some netherworld of dodgy disinfo you inadvertently spelunked into, Katrina—no place you’d want to find yourself without up-to-date antivirus software, an airtight pop-up blocker and ideally a strong stomach. Many links concerning Rh-negative blood look kosher enough in your search results but when clicked release a flood of wide-eyed theories about ethnic migration, blood type-based dating tips and offers to trace your ancestry back to extraterrestrials, angels or lizards.

Various stalwart rationalists, bless ’em all, have labored above and beyond to debunk this stuff. But I’ll go out on a limb here and assume that none of my readers actually suspects some randy E.T. begat great-grandpa. Instead, as you say, the question is where these crypto-hematologists emerged from and what their deal is.

On examination, they generally seem to be people who had certain theories about how the world worked long before they learned of Rh negativity. And then? Well, they smelled blood.

Now, blood can seem like a loaded concept, I guess—essence of life, symbol of tribal identity, beverage of vampires, etc.— so maybe even the otherwise level-headed get weird about it sometimes. But come on—this is science. The term “Rh factor” is commonly used to refer to the presence of a certain protein, the D antigen, on the surface of an individual’s red blood cells.

If you’ve got it—and most of us do—you’re Rh-positive. The slim minority of humans without? Rh-negative. It’s always good to know your blood type, but particularly when you’re pregnant. Things can get tricky when an Rh-negative mother is carrying an Rh-positive fetus—if she’s been exposed to Rh-positive blood before (typically via a prior pregnancy), she’ll produce antibodies that can attack her helpless kiddo like it’s an infection.

As with most of our species’ biological oddities, scientists believe that Rh-negative blood initially resulted from a DNA mutation that evidently served some sort of evolutionary purpose that research hasn’t quite yet nailed down. Having the gene for Rh negativity seems to improve resistance to the parasitic condition called toxoplasmosis, which might hint at an answer, but no one knows for sure.

No one knows for sure: five magic words that will forever summon swarms of crackpots from dankest cyberspace. Some try to tell you that the children of the Nephilim, an antediluvian race of fallen angels and/

or giants casually mentioned in Genesis, still walk among us—ye shall know them by their Rh-negative blood. Others will list the “reptilian” physical characteristics Rh-negative folks possess, including extra vertebrae and lower-than-normal body temperature. Yet others want to talk about the AB-negative blood supposedly found on the Shroud of Turin. But two major sets of opportunistic cranks stand out, each armed with their own theories about Rh negativity.

The first crew is relatively benign, of a type familiar to all battlers against pseudoscience: those who for more than half a century have recast the divine beings of the world’s religions as “ancient astronauts,” crediting extraterrestrials with constructing the pyramids and inspiring the stone heads of Easter Island. You’ve seen their paperback bible in thrift stores, or on your favorite hippie uncle’s bookshelf: Chariots of the Gods?, by Erich von Däniken. (Who, the blood-type fans excitedly insist, was Rh-negative himself!) But for some scholars of this ilk, aliens weren’t here just to jumpstart our civilization. They manipulated us on a cellular level, creating, according to UFO-centric author Nick Redfern, “a slave race to dutifully mine gold.” The evidence?

You guessed it: Rh-negative blood.

You’re more likely, though, to encounter the suggestion that Rh-negative blood makes its possessor superior to others.

Unfortunately, this viewpoint attracts far nastier sorts, too. Forever on the lookout for some minor genetic distinction between ethnicities to bolster their worldview, certain white supremacists are tickled a melanin-deficient pink about the fact that about 15 percent of people of European descent will tend to be Rh-negative, while less than one percent of Africans, Asians and Native Americans will. Thus, predictably, you’ll see assertions that Rhnegatives have a higher IQ and that the fair-skinned Caucasian traits of Northern Europeans were caused by the mutation.

Stray far enough into the muck and you’ll find “proof” that Jesus was Scandinavian— with AB-negative blood, natch.

Back here in reality, I’ve got good news for Rh-negative moms-to-be: As long as you discuss potential Rh-factor issues with your OB-GYN early enough, complications can usually be avoided. n Send questions to Cecil via StraightDope.com or write him c/o Chicago Reader, 350 N. Orleans, Chicago 60654.

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2016

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Ballot coming! sept. 22

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best barber shop best poke stop best vape store

BEST of utah 2016

NEWS Kent Hart’s Last Letter

Paying tribute to an advocate for the underdog.

BY STEPHEN DARK sdark@cityweekly.net @stephenpdark

F

or a couple of years Kent Hart and I were neighbors. Ironically, I would see him more on the downtown streets near our offices—his on Broadway, mine around the corner on Main—than I would in the 9th and 9th neighborhood he called home for many years.

Hart was laid to rest on Saturday, Aug. 27, at the age of 51, after falling into a waterfall in Norway. He’d just remarried and moved into a new home with his second wife.

His death shook many in the legal community, who perhaps had almost come to take for granted the passionate advocacy he brought to the Utah Association of Criminal Defense Lawyers (UACDL), while also working at the Utah Federal Public Defender’s office on appeals and as a capital case specialist.

Over the years, he helped me with different stories, pitching ideas, offering cogent insight and always with his delightfully dry wit leavening his observations about some of the leading legal lights in Salt Lake City.

The emergence of UACDL in recent years as a powerful voice for the rights of criminal defendants, in part on the back of growth of membership to around 500, is to a great extent a reflection of Hart’s hard work and dedication.

Hart built bridges, crusaded without the strident tones of some, was a strong yet quiet presence who pushed for reform, for the underdog. He was a safe harbor amid all the angry, self-appointed voices to find both wisdom and level-headed analysis.

It’s hard to imagine his shoes being filled, an absence all the more keenly felt at a time when the Justice Reform Initiative continues to languish for lack of back-end services funding.

The last time I saw Hart was on Main Street, with one of his sons, who, if memory serves, had just returned from a LDS mission. Hart brought the same sense of humor to the curiosities of life in Salt Lake as he did to the legal profession and, like others who’ve expressed their dismay and sadness at his loss, I’m constantly reminded of his absence each time I need someone to share an opinion, offer an insight into criminal cases, the law and legal personalities in this town.

While the word nice seems an anemic description to apply to someone so valued, it always struck me that he was a genuinely

NIKI CHAN

BEST

of

Legal advocate Kent Hart was laid to rest on Saturday, Aug. 27. nice man, in the sense of his generosity of mind and heart, and his compassion for all he encountered.

When I’m out walking my dog, I often glance at his former home and the words stenciled over the doorway: “Come before winter.” I never got to ask him what they meant to him. The phrase can be found in the Bible, 2 Timothy 4:21. It speaks to a request to arrive before the cold season makes journey impossible. Such melancholy thoughts at a time when someone of such merit and genteel nature, has been unexpectedly taken from life.

Davis County Attorney Troy Rawlings was a friend of Hart’s. They worked together on a state bar magazine article on prosecutorial misconduct. Hart submitted a letter to the Deseret News shortly before he died, which was not published. So, for the sake of completion, and as an admiring tip of the hat to a man who is sorely missed, here’s Hart’s last broadside, edited for brevity: “On July 21, 2016, the Deseret News Editorial Board published a misguided editorial about the role of prosecutors under our criminal justice system. The article suggests that Davis County Attorney Troy Rawlings’ motion to dismiss criminal charges against former Utah Attorney General Mark Shurtleff was ill-advised. But, the article actually demonstrates well that the motion to dismiss is not politically motivated, as many would like to assume,” Hart went on to note, because of the decision’s distinct lack of popularity. “Criminal prosecutions are not popularity contests.

Nor are prosecutors merely politicians.”

He then cited a Utah and United States Supreme Court decision that a prosecutor’s interest “in a criminal prosecution is not that it shall win a case, but that justice

shall be done.” The ruling noted that, “It is as much [a prosecutor’s] duty to refrain from improper methods calculated to produce a wrongful conviction as it is to use every legitimate means to bring about a just one.”

Hart pointed out that it’s the merits of the case that must drive a decision.

“Here, the United States Supreme Court’s recent decision in McDonnell gutted the gift charges against Mr. Shurtleff. In addition, the police officers investigating the charges have lost key evidence and later were not truthful about their actions.

And, even more troubling, the Department of Justice’s persistent refusal to disclose evidence that is unquestionably favorable to both Mr. Shurtleff and former Attorney John Swallow begs explanation. The real question in these prosecutions is why state law enforcement officials lied, and why the federal government refuses to comply with its constitutional duty to disclose exculpatory evidence to the defense.”

Hart then asked why Swallow’s case hadn’t been dismissed, given it faces similar issues to Shurtleff’s.

“The concealment of evidence should be the real issue probed by the Editorial Board, not Mr. Rawlings’ decision to follow his conscience and do what he apparently believes to be constitutionally required.”

Hart concluded in his quintessentially wry style by giving the newspaper he was criticizing a round-about pat on the back.

“We urge the Deseret News to assign one or more of its reporters to delve into these questions as well as others raised in the motions to dismiss the Shurtleff and Swallow prosecutions themselves,” he wrote.

“The public deserves answers from its servants. The Deseret News is well equipped to seek them out and provide them.” CW

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THE

CITIZEN REVOLT

OCHO

THE LIST OF EIGHT

BY BILL FROST

@Bill _ Frost

In a week, you can

CHANGE THE WORLD

FILM MAKING PUBLIC SCHOOL TUITION FREE Visit any Wednesday at 6pm

CREDIT RECOVERY

EastHollywood.org

VOTING RIGHTS PRESENTATION

You probably didn’t know that Constitution Day is coming up on Friday, Sept.

16. It was the day our Founding Fathers signed the document in 1787. Despite all the dialogue surrounding the Constitution and its protections, the United States is in the midst of legal turmoil over who gets to vote and whether certain groups are being systematically denied access.

Hear more about America’s past and continuing history of voter suppression from Laughlin McDonald, special counsel and director emeritus for the Voting Rights Project. Weber State University, Wildcat Theater, 1299 Edvalson St., 801-626-6252, Wednesday, Sept. 14, 11:30 a.m., free, Weber.edu/ WalkerInstitute/Calendar.html

AFRICAN ARTS EXHIBIT

Eight reasons bringing back The Ocho is a terrible idea:

8. No one noticed that it’s been gone for nine months.

7. The new editor finds the title très racist.

6.

Gov. Gary Herbert hasn’t done anything stupid recently.

5. Actually, he still does too

much stupid shit to keep up with.

4.

Per court order, the author can no longer accept strip club coupons as payment.

3. Millennials don’t have the attention span for eight items.

2.

Not enough opportunities to work in the clickbait term “Millennials.”

1. “The Ocho” was sold to

Gawker and … what? Never mind.

M-Sat 8-7 • Sun 10-5 • 9275 S 1300 W 801-562-5496 • glovernursery.com

History and talents may fade, but you can see how students are keeping alive their unique heritage in the exhibit Africa Meets Africa. Exquisite objects, made for everyday use according to inherited styles of beadwork, weaving, pottery and homestead painting, reveal an astonishing integrity of design and innovation with contemporary materials and forms.

Still, the iconic master artists of rural southern Africa are concerned that their skills might not survive beyond their own generation. These artists use an artsskills learning methodology, integrating visual arts, history and mathematics. For example, students do geometry with their hands as they make beadwork and weave.

1355 W. 3100 South, 801-965-5100, through Wednesday, Oct. 12, MondayThursday, 9 a.m.-6 p.m.; closing reception, Thursday, Oct. 6, 6-8 p.m., free, CulturalCelebration.org

NATIVE PEOPLES WORKSHOP

Injustice. These days, you’d think it was all about white male Americans. But in this two-hour workshop, Roots of Injustice, Seeds of Change, Toward Right Relationship with America’s Native Peoples, attendees learn about the historical and ongoing injustices committed against Native Peoples, and seek ways to build relationships with them in accord with the U.N. Declaration on the Rights of Indigenous Peoples. Participants enact a 40-minute script and then share their thoughts in a “talking circle.” University Guest House, 110 Fort Douglas Blvd., 801-949-2906, Thursday, Sept.

8, 12:30-2:30 p.m., register via email to Joan M. Gregory (joanmzg@gmail. com) with “HSI WORKSHOP” in subject line and your name, cell phone number and email address; $10 donation suggested, Bit.ly/2c7nv8r

—KATHARINE BIELE Send events to revolt@cityweekly.net

S NEofW the

BY CHUCK SHEPHERD

WEIRD

Outstanding in Their Fields The recently concluded Olympics included a few of the more obscure athletic endeavors (such as dressage for horses and steeplechase for humans), but U.S. colleges compete in even less-heralded “sports,” such as wood chopping, rock climbing, fishing and broomball. University of Alabama, 2015 national football champions, dominates also in the 280-school bass-fishing competition, and New York’s Paul Smith College’s 5,000-student campus raucously cheers its championship logsplitting team (against seven other schools). And Ohio State whipped another football powerhouse, Nebraska, in ice-based broomball.

Why? Because We Can, That’s Why We now have computer or cellphone apps to, for example, analyze the quality of one’s tongue-kissing; alert you when your zipper is inadvertently down; make a refrigerator also be a stereo and photo album; notify you when you need to drink more water; check the male-female ratio at local bars so, if you’re single and looking, you can plan your evening efficiently; and reveal whether your partner has had someone else in bed while you were away (via differential contours of the mattress). And then, in August, the creators of the new South Park virtual reality game announced that they had figured out how to release a “fart” smell that is crucial to game-players when they put on the VR mask.

n Aman Bhatia, 27, was charged with battery and lewd molestation in July after allegedly groping six women at Disney World’s Typhoon Lagoon water park. Despite witnesses telling police that Bhatia was positioning himself for furtive groping, Bhatia claimed that his glasses were broken and thus he was not aware that women were in his path.

Recurring Themes A 30-year-old woman, “LTN,” has so far escaped prosecution in Hanoi, Vietnam—because her insurance fraud caper already cost her a third, each, of her left hand and left foot. Those are the parts police said she paid a friend the equivalent of $2,000 to chop off to claim a $157,000 disability policy payout, according to an August dispatch by Agence France-Presse. n Police in Hartselle, Ala., arrested Sarah Shepard for soliciting a hit man to kill her husband, Richard (after police set up an undercover sting, even working with Richard to stage his fake death to convince her that the job was completed). Now, Richard is trying to help Sarah. In August, he asked her judge to reduce her bail, certain that she had been “entrapped” because, for one thing, she could hardly manage a grocery list, much less a murder.

News from the geeks. what’s new in comics, games, movies and beyond.

exclusively on

cityweekly.net -cityweekly.net/bigshinyrobot-

The Passing Parade A traffic officer in Guelph, Ontario, pulled over a 35-year-old motorist on July 11 traveling 67 mph (108 km/h) in a 45 mph zone—at night on a stretch with no highway lights and no headlights on his vehicle. The stopped driver was given citations even though he pointed out that he was watching the road with a flashlight on his head, held in place by straps.

Thanks this week to John Lafalce, Paul Peterson and Christina Swanson, and to the News of the Weird Board of Editorial Advisors.

SEPTEMBER 8, 2016 | 15

n Twenty-three local-government bureaucrats in Boscotrecase, Italy, were disciplined in July after being caught shirking duties, including by falsifying the time clock. It was unclear whether the 23 included the two “mystery” workers photographed punching in for work while wearing cardboard boxes on their heads.

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Ironies People with too much money have been reported over the years to have paid enormous sums for “prestigious” license plates, usually the lowest-numbered. In China, the number 8 is regarded as lucky, and a man identified only as “Liu” obtained Shanghai province’s plate “88888”—for which he paid the equivalent of $149,000. Shanghaiist.com reported in June that “Lucky” Liu was forced into annoying traffic stops by police eight times the first day because officers were certain that the plate was bogus.

The Entrepreneurial Spirit The Tykables “baby store for adults” opened in Mt. Prospect, Ill., recently and so far has outlasted attempts to shut it down (as being, allegedly, inappropriate for the community). Part of the business model is selling adult diapers for medical needs, but a major clientele is adults with a fetish to be treated like helpless babies—with diapers, clothing, accessories and furniture (oversized high chairs, playpens and cribs). (Though the owner controls store access and has blocked out window views, critics are still uncomfortable explaining the store to their children.)

BIG SHINY ROBOT!

n In July, Ryan Bundy (a leader of the Malheur federal land occupation protest in Oregon in January), exercising his philosophy as a “sovereign,” wrote his judge that he rejects the federal court’s jurisdiction over him in his upcoming trial, but that he would agree to cooperate—provided the government pays him $1 million cash. Bundy (who signs court documents “i; ryan c., man”) said for that sum, he would act as “defendant”—or, as a bonus, if the judge prefers, as “bailiff,” or even as “judge.”

(Bundy’s lawyer, not surprisingly, is Bundy.)

n An Idaho man took his pregnant daughter, 14, and the man who raped her, age 24, to Missouri last year to get married (because of that state’s lenient marriage-age law)—asserting that it is the rapist’s “duty” to marry a girl he gets pregnant.

The father now says he was wrong, but an Idaho judge nonetheless sentenced him to 120 days behind bars for endangering his daughter. (The rapist received a 15-year sentence, and the pregnancy ended in miscarriage.)

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Compelling Explanations Steven Scholz was sued for $255,000 in Oregon City, Ore., in July after he allegedly fired on a family’s house (15 gunshots) and traumatized their young son inside. Scholz explained that he thought the Biblical Rapture had just occurred and that he was the only survivor.

Unclear on the Concept Third-grade teacher Tracy Rosner filed a lawsuit against the county school board in Miami in July (claiming to be the victim of race and national origin discrimination) after being turned down for a job that required teaching Spanish—because she doesn’t speak Spanish. (Rosner said “non-Hispanics” like her are a minority among Miami schoolteachers and therefore that affirmative-action-style accommodations should have been made for her.)

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n Inexplicable: Pizza Hut announced in August that it had finally mastered the technology to turn its cardboard delivery boxes into customers’ workable disk-jockey turntables and will make them available shortly in five stores in the United Kingdom. (Each box has two record decks, a cross-fader, pitch and cue controls, and the ability to rewind.) Music stars P Money and DJ Vectra are featured, and the boxes will sync via Bluetooth to phones and computers.

n Greenland’s first “world-class tourist attraction,” opening in 2020, offers visitors a “stunning view” of the rapidly melting ice sheets from the area’s famous, 250,000-year-old Jakobshavn Glacier.

The United Nations-protected site is promoting a “tourist” vista that some call “ground zero for climate change”—and which others hope won’t be completely melted by 2020.

With water already flowing from taps, why are Cache County leaders eager to form a water district?

These districts, of which 21 exist across the state, deliver water to many Utahns through a complex web of water infrastructure, which is financed, in part, through property-tax assessments.

Water conservancy districts are also some of the state’s most powerful entities. During the 2015 and 2016 Utah legislative sessions, water districts successfully lobbied—through a bevy of hired lobbyists and with their own heft—for the creation of a funding mechanism that would allow lawmakers to begin stashing cash away for the day when a multi-billiondollar pipeline will be built to draw Colorado River water from Lake Powell and pump it 140 miles uphill for the golf courses, lawns and faucets of St. George.

Even so, Cache Valley residents have managed to avoid the creation of a water district, shunning a level of government that is sometimes criticized for lack of transparency, and leaving the management of water infrastructure to municipalities and Cache County.

These days, though, could be numbered.

Cache County Water Manager Bob Fotheringham says the time has arrived for Cache Valley to have its own water district—an entity that he says will place residents of this mountain valley on an even playing field with those along the Wasatch Front who are represented by the Central Utah, Jordan Valley and Weber Basin water conservancy districts.

“I believe that the benefit of having the district is so we can manage water better than we’ve managed it in the past and meet the needs of Cache Valley,” Fotheringham says.

Cutler Marsh on the Bear River just outside of Logan, Utah

Fotheringham’s enthusiasm for forming a water district seems to be shared by many of his fellow government colleagues across the Cache Valley. Eighteen municipal governments voted unanimously to allow the water district ballot measure to be voted on this November. A single dissenting vote was cast when the 19th municipality, River Heights, took up the matter says Craig Buttars, Cache County’s executive officer.

And across the valley’s front yards, there are not yet any lawn signs indicating that an election is approaching, let alone that a decision to alter the way water is managed in the valley will be wedged someplace among the presidential state and county picks.

But not everyone is singing the praises of a water district. Zach Frankel, executive director of the Utah Rivers Council, says that the formation of a district will—just as is sometimes the case in other areas—be little more than another governmental barrier separating the people from their water. Frankel also says a water district in Cache County will do what other water districts do: assess property taxes, amass millions of dollars and spend that money on water projects, specifically on the largely undeveloped Bear River, over which state leaders have been salivating for decades.

“The reason why you can get a glass of water today in Cache County has nothing to do with a water district,” Frankel says. “This is about how much more in taxes Cache County taxpayers should pay and how much more empire engineering firms want to build at the expense of those taxpayers.”

Bear River Migratory Bird Refuge

IVY ALLEN

W

ith temperatures hanging in the mid 90s, the meticulous greens and sprawling fairways at the Logan Country Club were sparsely populated on a Wednesday afternoon in late August.

The golfers who were busy working their backswings and mastering their putts, though, needed to avoid a set of water sprinklers dousing the shining green grass.

A few blocks further west on U.S. Highway 89, toward Utah State University and the city of Logan, the lawn in front of the U.S. Forest Service station was also being sprayed with water. The same scene was visible on Aggie Drive, where co-eds packing books sidestepped sprinklers drenching the school’s lawns.

Indeed, the Cache Valley’s verdant fields of alfalfa and quaint communities sandwiched between the Bear River Mountains to the east and the Wellsville Mountains to the west, are lousy with water. From these mountains flow the Bear River, Blacksmith Fork River and Logan River—not to mention their smaller offshoots, including the Little Bear and Little Logan rivers.

For more than a century now, the communities that rely on these waterways have managed to keep the taps flowing and farmers irrigating without the assistance of what’s known in Utah as a water conservancy district. But as this November’s general election arrives, Cache County voters will take their third crack at forming such a district, which politicians and engineering firms say is needed to protect the valley’s water resources.

SARAH LONGORIA

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16 | SEPTEMBER 8, 2016

Bear River

Blues

By Colby Frazier cfrazier@cityweekly.net

Awash in Water

SEPTEMBER 8, 2016 | 17

NIKI CHAN

| CITY WEEKLY |

which consisted of 12 individuals whose ultimate goal was to agree on a series of bylaws for the future water conservancy district.

After multiple meetings, the Bridgerland group approved a set of bylaws in April.

King says that the Bridgerland group was “diverse,” and that all of the meetings were open to the public. “We tried to create a process that was open, transparent and participatory because we wanted something better [than some other public processes],” King says.

While government entities often hire specialists to assist with the preparation of master plans, Frankel says he’s troubled that an engineering firm like J-U-B, which has a section on its website that declares the firm’s “thirst for water projects,” would be tasked with chiseling the county’s 375-page master plan. Once this was completed, Frankel says he questions the legitimacy of the county then turning to the Langdon group to build consensus among the public and to promote J-U-B’s findings.

“The Cache County water district ballot initiative is naked special-interest politics at its most obvious,” Frankel says. “The formation of a water district is to benefit engineering companies.

They’ve gotten over $1 million in just the last few years, which is an investment for future billions for Bear River development.”

Fotheringham says that J-U-B won’t benefit from future water projects any more than other engineering firms. Likewise, King says that over the

people and I believe it’s going to be transparent; it’s going to be accountable and it’s going to do what the people in the area of Cache Valley want it to do, and that’s what we need.”

Fotheringham, who was hired in 2008 to be the county’s first water manager, has been pushing the formation of a water conservancy district for some time. In 2013, he and the county hired Idaho-based J-U-B Engineers to help it formulate a water master plan.

In that plan, J-U-B, which Fotheringham says acts as a sort of de facto engineering firm for the county, concludes that the most efficient way for the county to manage its water resources is to do so by forming a water conservancy district.

“With the need to protect our existing water resources and provide water for future growth a conservancy district is needed now to generate the funds sufficient to implement the objectives outlined in this plan,” the report states.

With the report in hand, Fotheringham and Cache County for the past two years have been busy garnering consensus among the valley’s municipalities. Lending a helping hand is a firm called The Langdon Group, a government and public-affairs entity that is a subsidiary of J-U-B Engineers.

Josh King, a facilitator and project manager with Langdon, has been helping spearhead the county’s efforts to form the conservancy district.

A key piece of this puzzle was the formation of the Bridgerland Water Conservancy Work Group,

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Zach Frankel, Utah Rivers Council

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The apparent lack of opposition to the formation of a water district in Cache Valley is hardly by accident. On two prior occasions, Cache County voters have struck down attempts to form a conservancy district. According to county and state officials, these voters have never felt comfortable forming a district made up of appointed individuals who have the ability to assess taxes. In effect, Utah’s water conservancy districts use taxpayer money to build infrastructure like pipelines and dams, pay salaries and lobbyists and even build new buildings. But when a citizen has beef with how this money is spent, there’s no recourse at the ballot box.

“It’s certainly true that water districts are a perfect example of taxation without representation,” says Dan McCool, director of the University of Utah’s Environment and Sustainability Studies program. “They can tax, they can borrow, but they are in most cases unelected by the public at large.”

To soothe those accusations, state lawmakers tweaked the law governing water districts and other special service districts in 2010, making it possible for their boards to be elected.

If Cache County residents form a water conservancy district in November, Fotheringham says it will be one of a kind: Ten of its 11 members will be elected just to sit on the board.

The 11th person will be appointed to ensure that the interests of agriculture are represented.

“There will be no other district in the state that will be operated like this district because it is a new way to manage,” Fotheringham says. “I think we’ve resolved those issues for

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SARAH LONGORIA

SARAH LONGORIA

A series of dams line the Logan River

The Logan River, backed up behind a small dam, in Logan Canyon

past couple of years, he hasn’t fielded any concerns that a conflict might exist between J-U-B, Langdon and the county.

The Rivers Council, Frankel says, has been filing open-records requests pertaining to Cache County’s contracts with J-U-B and Langdon. The contracts show that since 2013, when the master plan effort was hatched, the county has paid J-U-B nearly $1.3 million for its services.

Fotheringham didn’t dispute this number, saying that the county spends additional sums of money each year on him and the water department he currently runs. “It costs money to manage water,” he says. “I think it’s been well worth what they’ve spent.”

Frankel’s fears about a water conservancy district aren’t simply based on the fact that these entities exist. Rather, it is nested in what these entities so often do: build water projects.

And in Cache Valley, it’s difficult to avoid talking about water, development and growth without talking about the Bear River.

While Fotheringham and King say that the formation of a water conservancy district is not being done simply to develop the Bear River, Frankel says that if one reads between the lines, this is exactly what the district will aim to do.

Cache County and Fotheringham have endeavored to frame the water district as a way to promote water conservation and gain a more politically powerful seat at the table when conversations arise about developing water projects. Fotheringham also says that if communities in Cache County don’t form a district, they could see their water rights stolen by downstream users along the Wasatch Front.

Cache County Executive Officer Craig Buttars puts it this way: “The reality can be scary, and the reality is we could lose our water if we don’t have a way to properly manage it.”

When it comes to conservation, the state’s proliferation of water conservancy districts has been unsuccessful at reining in Utah’s robust consumption, which ranks the state as the highest—or in other parlance, the most wasteful—water user in the nation.

And Cache County, like other parts of Utah, is not actually running out of water. In 2015, the Utah State Legislative Auditor released an investigation that showed how state water managers had relied on faulty data to project the state’s future water needs. Among the findings was that Utah’s baseline water usage, pegged at 220 gallons of water per person, per day, was drastically higher than in other Western states,

and could be inaccurate. Additionally, the auditors found that water managers had failed to account for the growing amount of water that becomes available as agricultural land is paved over; houses, streets and sidewalks use less water than irrigated fields.

The report, in many instances, confirmed what Frankel had been alleging for some time: that Utah is awash in water, and could provide for the state’s projected booming growth if only it actually conserved a little of what it has already developed.

The audit, and Frankel’s assertions, would seem to contradict the dire water shortage predictions flowing from water managers who are eager to tap into Lake Powell via a pipeline and do the same to the Bear, which the Legislature pegged for development in 1991 when it approved the Bear River Development Act. That act stated that up to 220,000 acre-feet of water could be developed and impounded from the Bear River, with 50,000 acre-feet apiece going to the Jordan Valley and Weber Basin conservancy districts, and 60,000 acre-feet apiece going to the Bear River and Cache water conservancy districts. But because Cache County does not yet—and did not in 1991—have a water conservancy district, its allotment would be allowed to be managed and developed by the county.

This means, Frankel says, that Buttars and Fotheringham are incorrect when they say a water conservancy district would somehow protect the Cache Valley’s allotment of the Bear River.

“In truth, the specific code allows Cache County to develop its water without a water district,” Frankel says. “It’s pretty clear that that’s a red herring argument to collect property taxes and build empire.”

Bear River Blues

Erecting dams, impounding water in reservoirs and building pipelines on the Bear River are not incredibly popular ideas in Cache County.

Realizing this, the Langdon Group’s King and Fotheringham both say that it became clear that the formation of a water conservancy district needed to have as its focus something other than Bear River development.

King says a decision was made to “shift away from focus of Bear River allocation to more of planning and looking at longer-term conservation and protection and management and

stability of water rights and supply.”

“The focus isn’t on getting the Bear River developed, but protecting that allocation that’s been allotted to Cache County and having a voice at the table where decisions are made regarding that allocation,” King says.

What Fotheringham and other Cache County leaders understand is that the Wasatch Front’s voracious population growth might soon come knocking on Cache Valley’s door, thirsty for the rivers that are the lifeblood of the area.

A water conservancy district, they insist, will help them fortify their water supplies and plan for their own future growth and use of Bear River water.

And when Fotheringham and other proponents of forming a water district say they want a seat at the table, they’re referring to the State Capitol, where, when water is the topic, legislators love nothing more than hearing from, and deferring to, the expert opinions that flow forth from the state’s water district managers.

State Senator Lyle Hillyard, a Republican from North Logan, has long been a champion for his region. He says that a water district will ensure that the concerns of Cache County residents are heard at the state level.

“I just think Cache County needs to be at the table and I think a water conservancy district puts us at the table equally with everybody else,” Hillyard says.

Anyone who fears that a water conservancy district in Cache County will behave similar to other water districts and rib the Legislature for new water projects is mistaken, Fotheringham says. Because the board will be elected, he says a mechanism will exist for the public to hold its water district accountable for its actions.

SARAH LONGORIA

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SEPTEMBER 8, 2016 | 19

Even with the recent legislative audit on water, and the efforts of organizations like the Rivers Council to plead for actual conservation as a method of providing water, rather than the destruction of rivers, the Legislature has made big moves over the past two years to once and for all begin utilizing its allotment of Colorado River water in Lake Powell, and further taming the Bear.

In 2015, Sen. Stuart Adams, R-Layton, successfully created an account—the Water Infrastructure Restricted Account—which in the waning days of the session, received a $5 million deposit of taxpayer money.

In 2016, Adams, a developer, was back at it. He gutted several transportation earmarks, diverting a large portion of the funding into the water account, which by 2023, will warehouse $165 million.

Earnest and costly steps to build new water projects, whether they are needed or not, are in the works. And Fotheringham says he’s tired of hearing planners who live outside Cache Valley make plans for the water that flows through it.

“It is water, and if you don’t organize yourself to manage it, then someone else will, and they have,” Fotheringham says. “Certainly now, we’re getting large enough within our own area that if we want to manage water smartly, we’ve got to figure out where to develop infrastructure in our valley to move water around where it’s needed, so we don’t spend where we don’t need to spend.”

There is one inconvenient visual that Cache County leaders eager to form a new layer of government to oversee water issues will not soon be able to overcome: Water has long been delivered across the valley without the increased taxes that will come with a water district. And just like the last time that voters turned down forming a water district, that water will continue to flow.

One thing is certain: If a water district is formed and its elected board decides to begin assessing taxes, boatloads of money are suddenly going to materialize for the purpose of managing Cache County’s water.

And, if the prevailing wisdom in today’s society is that unless water is used it is wasted, the same is almost always true for money.

“If the idea is to pay engineering firms exorbitant sums of tax money, let’s start a water district,” Frankel says. “You can see what’s really happening with Bear River development; it’s just another engineering special interest ready to feed at the public feeding trough.” CW

If and when actual reservoirs are erected along the Bear River to store water, there will be inevitable impacts downstream.

In the Bear River basin, these impacts will be harshly felt in the federally managed Bear River Migratory Bird Refuge and the Great Salt Lake, which receives an estimated 60 percent of its water from the Bear.

And that 60 percent is hardly enough to keep the lake full. State officials have said the lake is at its lowest level since the 1960s.

As one of the largest stop-offs for migratory birds west of the Mississippi, the Great Salt Lake’s health has massive impacts on the natural world. A diminished Bear River that, like all of the state’s rivers and streams, is already seeing drought-reduced flows from light snowpacks, would be further reduced by dams upstream.

If birds are of no concern, then the Wasatch Front’s air quality might be. The saline waters of the Great Salt Lake are the depository for every single drop of wastewater produced in Utah, Salt Lake and much of Davis, Weber and Box Elder counties.

These polluted and nutrient-rich streams, like the Jordan River, that flow into the Great Salt Lake, are often joined by streams of mining wastes, like selenium, arsenic and other heavy metals, that are presently being filtered out of polluted aquifers in the Salt Lake Valley, and pumped into the Great Salt Lake.

If it continues to dry, some fear that the Wasatch Front’s foul air quality will become even more toxic as pollutants once sealed beneath the lake’s waters become airborne.

The University of Utah’s McCool says that he understands the reasons for forming a water conservancy district: money and power.

What he hopes is not lost upon Cache County leaders, farmers and regular citizens is that water projects do not create water, they simply move water.

And, as fresh water resources become increasingly overused and disappear, he says it becomes difficult to talk about taking one action without considering all of the other resulting actions.

“We can’t talk about any of these things in isolation,” McCool says, noting that by taking water away from Cache County, growth will be limited there and flourish elsewhere, and that by lowering the Great Salt Lake, the state will see an air pollution problem that will make current air quality issues “look pretty tame.”

For his part, Fotheringham insists that if Cache County forms a water district made up of publicly elected officials, it will be able to make decisions that are often uncharacteristic of water districts.

But if a water district is formed in November, it is a little bit fuzzy as to whom exactly it will sell water, since water is already being provided to residents and farmers in the Cache Valley. This issue, says Fotheringham, will work itself out in time.

Time, though, has a way of working to favor water managers.

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Water Taker

Cutler Marsh on the Bear River

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Fotheringham says the district will make better decisions as a result of increased public involvement. “When we create the Cache water district as it’s formulated, I believe that that district will make better management decisions than any other in the state,” he says.

It is unclear whether Fotheringham’s insistence on forming a water district is an implicit condemnation of his and the county’s inability to manage water, or a similarly couched statement against the state’s other water districts, which, unlike the possible district in Cache County, appear to be levying taxes on the public minus a mechanism to be held accountable.

This fact—that Cache County has been managing its water for all modern time on its own—is striking to Richard Toth, a retired professor at Utah State University in the Department of Environment and Society. Toth says he recalls the previous two attempts to form a water district, and that while the taxation without representation question appears to be answered, he hasn’t seen any of the hard data he would like to about how a district would be better for the environment than the county’s present system of managing water.

“We’ve got water and I think there are responsible people here who are managing it quite well, and I attribute that to Bob Fotheringham,” Toth says.

Toth notes that once a water conservancy district is formed, it will go on collecting tax monies forever.

According to Cache County’s water master plan, the tax levy would be about .002 percent, which would line the district’s bank account with roughly $1.1 million each year—a good chunk more than the county’s $185,000 water budget in 2014.

“What do we need it for?” Toth asks of a water district. “What is this extra tax going to do? I’ll tell you what it’s going to do; it’s going to build a lot of water resource projects that are going to benefit a very limited number of people, not the general public at all.

They’re not going to create more water, I’ll tell you that. There’s only so much water.”

PAUL HERMANS

Downtown Logan

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CHECK OUT ALL OF OUR EVENT PHOTOS AT CITYWEEKLY.NET/PHOTOS

TWILIGHT 9.1

T

hank you for voting for your favorite local artists!

RESULTS COMING SEPTEMBER 15 #BOUARTS

UPCOMING EVENTS

SNOWBRUSH HERB FESTIVAL

SEPT 10-11

AT THE ART GARDEN

627 W. 100 S. SNOWBRUSHHERBFESTIVAL.COM

URBAN FLEA MARKET

SUNDAY, SEPT 11

9AM-3PM

AT 600 S. MAIN ST FLEAMARKETSLC.COM

AVENUES STREET FAIR

SATURDAY, SEPT 10

9AM-6PM

6TH AVE BETWEEN I & N AVENUESSTREETFAIR.ORG

URBAN ARTS FESTIVAL

SEPT. 17 & 18

AT THE GALLIVAN CENTER

UTAHARTS.ORG/URBAN-ARTS-FEST

Complete listings online @ CityWeekly.net

DAVE BREWER

GEORGE SIMIAN

GEMINI PICTURES

ENTERTAINMENT PICKS SEPT. 8-14, 2016

RONA PROUDFOOT

ESSENTIALS

the

The rich and vibrant world of Los Angeles hip-hop culture is coming to Salt Lake City in the form of the Versa-Style Dance Co. Created

by Jackie Lopez (Miss Funk) and Leigh Foaad (Breeze-lee), this group explores social and political issues through dance while simultaneously breaking media stereotypes of hip-hop culture.

This upcoming performance features excerpts of their latest work, Box of Hope, which explores themes of inequality, particularly within underserved communities in L.A. Versa-Style uses the music of Motown artists such as Stevie Wonder and Marvin Gaye to communicate this message.

This show kicks off the UtahPresents season, spotlighting works from a variety of cultures performed by artists from around the globe. Sheri Jardine, spokesperson for UtahPresents, says groups such as Versa-Style are being featured to reflect the growing diversity of Salt Lake City.

She also says it’s a chance to showcase and celebrate the wide variety of hip-hop styles, which is often misrepresented as monolithic.

“I think that it’s interesting to look at it through a lens of historical commentary to appreciate [hip-hop],” Jardine says. “Not just because it’s fun, but also to appreciate the historical roots and racial oppression that inspired it as an art form because obviously we’re still struggling with that as a country.”

In addition to the main performance, VersaStyle will also teach classes for the community and perform a separate show for students in grades 3-12. For more information, contact UtahPresents. (Kylee Ehmann) Versa-Style @ Kingsbury Hall, 1395 E. Presidents Circle, 801-581-7100, Sept. 9, 7:30 p.m., $5-$25. UtahPresents.org

Back in the early days of Utah’s statehood, much of Salt Lake City was divided by culture and ethnicity, including the Old Greek Town area, which lay primarily on the west side of the city past West Temple. Not much remains of it, except for scattered buildings and the Prophet Elias Greek Orthodox Church. But every year in early September, downtown’s west side is filled with patrons headed to this church, celebrating the Salt Lake City Greek Festival.

Underneath a giant tent covering the northern parking lot, you’ll find great dining and entertainment. Dance groups show off Kalamatiano, Tsamiko and Hassapiko performances, accompanied by traditional and modern Greek music. The event includes many crafts, jewelry and goods for sale by local artisans.

But most of all, you’ll be able to sample a wide range of Greek food. And not just the familiar treats found at fast-food joints, but authentic delicacies cooked and prepared the way the way they should be—everything from rib-sticking entrées to the delicious desserts.

From there, you can experience one of the most overlooked parts of the festival: the community itself. Whether it’s in the church’s courtyard or under the giant tent, you have a chance to sit down and chat with people you might have never met before, over a damn fine meal. (GS) Salt Lake City Greek Festival @ Greek Orthodox Church, 279 S. 300 West, Sept. 9-10, 11 a.m.-11 p.m.; Sept. 11, 11 a.m.-8 p.m., $3, children under 5 free.

SaltLakeGreekFestival.com

Utahns attend more arts events per capita than anyone else in the country, according to a recent report in The Salt Lake Tribune. Maybe our collective interest in the arts—and dance, in particular—is encouraged by the fact that our local universities put out tons of talent every year, infusing our art scene with new people, new ideas and new companies, like Brine.

Formed in 2015 by dancers Sara Pickett (MFA modern dance, University of Utah), Symmer Andrews (dance minor, Weber State) and Ashley Creek (BFA modern dance, University of Utah), Brine is a dance collective that works to create opportunities for a variety of artists—choreographers, designers and dancers—to share their talent, vision and passion. This week, Brine— through Repertory Dance Theatre’s Link Series— presents Intersections, an evening-length concert featuring work from six local choreographers: the three founders, plus Natalie Desch, Destiny Olsen and Aimee Swenson.

While each artist is doubtlessly worth their space on the program, Desch might just make this show a must-see. A Juilliard alum, Desch spent 16 years performing with two of the nation’s top New York-based companies: Limón Dance Co. and Doug Varone and Dancers. She currently teaches for Ballet West Academy, Utah Valley University and Westminster College, and has created for Intersections a piece called Strange Ties, which celebrates the bizarre elements of our world by exploring “the healthy dysfunction existing within a fully operating and apparently ‘normal’ system.” (Katherine Pioli) Brine: Intersections @ Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. 300 South, 801-355-2787, Sept. 13, 7 & 9 p.m.; Sept. 14, 7:30 p.m., $12-$15. BrineDance.com

Brine: Intersections

SEPTEMBER 8, 2016 | 21

Film festivals in Utah might be most associated with our eastern mountains, but you can find one on the southern side as well. DocUtah is an international documentary festival that highlights everything from 10-minute shorts to feature-length films.

This non-fiction emphasis gives audiences a unique experience in subject matter and tone.

Here are just some of the topics covered in this year’s festival entries: a modern country with no military; a New York City man obsessed with stealing city buses and impersonating the driver on the routes (Off the Rails, pictured); children learning to run with the bulls in Pamplona, Spain; an 85-year-old college student, a Frenchman visiting American ghost towns, and a behind-thescenes look at BYU comedy troupe, Studio C. Filmmakers devoted months and even years to creating these intriguing stories. DocUtah shows them proper respect by taking over three venues, including the Dixie State Fine Arts Building in St. George as their festival hub.

The event also features daily filmmaker chats in the afternoon, giving attendees and fellow filmmakers an opportunity to ask the directors and other members of the industry about these films, and even learn how to market and distribute documentaries after they’ve found a festival.

Maybe some audience members will be inspired to tell their own cinematic true stories.

(Gavin Sheehan) DocUtah Film Festival @ Dixie State College, 225 E. 700 South, Saint George, through Sept. 10, see website for full schedule, $15-$40, DocUtah.com

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TUESDAY 9.13

Salt Lake City Greek Festival

SATURDAY 9.10

Versa-Style

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FRIDAY 9.9

DocUtah Film Festival

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THURSDAY 9.8

Unfinished Business

Bountiful Davis Art Center presents a unique artistic collaboration experiment.

BY BRIAN STAKER comments@cityweekly.net @stakerized

I

s visual art like sausage-making? Perhaps it’s actually the reverse: Instead of being repulsed by the process, we tend to romanticize it, with the myth of the tortured artist searching for inspiration, subsisting on turpentine fumes, driven by desperation to acts like cutting off one’s ear. We’ve even come to enjoy viewing artists at work at open-studio events, like the upcoming one at Poor Yorick (Sept. 24). But that doesn’t mean non-artists have gained insights into the real difficulties of making art.

Local artist and Westminster College instructor Namon Bills, who has curated numerous exhibitions in the area, is behind (un)Finished at the Bountiful Davis Art Center, along with local artist and educator Carrie Wardle Beeke. For it, 30 artists were asked to submit unfinished work, to be assigned randomly to other artists in the group to finish. Beeke says she got the idea when she was in the process of moving. “I had a few pieces of work that I didn’t want to throw away,” she says, “but at the same time, wasn’t sure if I’d ever finish them. I started thinking about what they might look like if someone else finished them for me.” After some discussion, (un)Finished was hatched.

The exhibit raises perplexing questions about the nature of the artistic process.

The tricky stuff began even before the show opened on Aug. 12, with the logistics of organizing such an event, each artist delivering two works and receiving two to complete and return. “We’d be more organized

if we were to do this again,” Bills says, “keeping a spreadsheet from the get-go.”

The artists then had decisions to make.

Beeke has found, “whether a work is finished or not really depends on how the artist feels. Often we start work with an idea in our mind, and sometimes that idea evolves, or doesn’t go the way we planned, which can be good or bad, just depends on whether or not the artist decides they can accept the changes and continue work, or if they’d rather abandon a project and start again.” Artists like da Vinci left us a number of works that appear unfinished because the subject doesn’t seem completely delineated, but still convey an emphatic artistic statement that his intention seems to be realized.

Looking at two random pairings, like Sarah Maynard’s completion of paintings started by Cam Carter and Lee Cowan, demonstrate the ways artists’ styles adapt to one another, almost grafting themselves together to create a third style—a conversation, a blending. And the show features a number of media besides painting: Dan Toone’s sculpture “Lithic Dislocation,” completed by Matt Kruback, is almost a metaphor for the dislocating, disorienting quality of this artistic experience, and the video piece “Portal” (started by Aundrea Frahm and completed by Michael Capell) is like a doorway into the process which looks back at your perception of it, through the filter of technology.

Bills’ own work in the show opened his eyes: “Creating work started by another artist required a paradigm shift for me, because I had to insert myself into someone else’s process and translate that into my own,” he says. And seeing the finished work seemed to prompt artists to look at their own work and style with new perspective.

If there’s one quality the assignment added to the works in general, it is a sensation of layering. “Collaborative Piece 2” (pictured), started by Chad Crane and finished by Steven K. Sheffield, contains elements of painting and collage, and enthusiastically embraces the chance, “found” element of random collaboration in artmaking that the show engenders.

Talented artists are usually said to have a

COURTESY OF THE ARTIST

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VISUAL ART

strong voice, or aesthetic sensibility, which makes one of their pieces instantly identifiable. This exhibit, however, points out ways in which a single style can be limiting.

“I hope that this show raises some of those questions for viewers who are accustomed to accepting works of art as finished simply because they’re hanging on the gallery wall,” Bills says. The results were so intriguing that the experiment seems worth repeating, according to Beeke: “There is talk of a Round 2, with a few changes.”

If you are familiar with some of these artists, the sense of seeing works that are both theirs and not theirs is jarring, but refreshing. It fulfills a goal of art to get you to look at the world in new ways. “It forced me out of my comfort zone,” Bills says, “but, while that’s always awkward

“Collaborative Piece 2,” started by Chad Crane, finished by Steven K. Sheffield.

in the beginning, I’m grateful for the experience.” Participating artist Stefanie Dykes says, “It was a challenge to ‘finish’ the works, because you had to discover a common thread or some sort of a combined voice to continue forward with the work.” CW

(UN)FINISHED

Bountiful Davis Art Center 90 Main, Bountiful 801-295-3618 Through Sept. 9 BDAC.org

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moreESSENTIALS

COMPLETE LISTINGS ONLINE @ CITYWEEKLY.NET

PERFORMANCE THEATER

110 in the Shade Brigham’s Playhouse, 25 N. 300 West, Building C1, Washington, through Sept. 17, Thursday-Saturday, 7 p.m.; Saturday matinee 2 p.m., BrighamsPlayhouse.com Addams Family Heritage Theatre, 2505 S. Highway 89, Perry, 435-723-8392, through Sept.

10, Monday, Friday & Saturday, 7:30 p.m.; Sept.

10, 2 & 7:30 p.m., HeritageTheatreUtah.com Arsenic & Old Lace Beverly’s Terrace Plaza Playhouse, 99 E. 4700 South, Ogden, 801393-0070, through Sept. 17, Monday, Friday & Saturday, 7:30 p.m., TerracePlayhouse.com A Bright New Boise Wasatch Theatre Co., Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. 300 South, Salt Lake City, 801-355-2787, through Sept. 17, ThursdaySaturday, 8 p.m.; Sept. 10 & 17, 2 p.m. matinees, ArtTix.ArtSaltLake.org Bull Shark Attack Salt Lake Acting Co., 168 W. 500 North, 801-363-7522, through Oct. 16, 7:30 p.m. Wednesday-Saturday, 1 & 6 p.m.; Sunday, SaltLakeActingCompany.org Cabaret Utah Repertory Theatre, Sorensen Unity Center Black Box Theatre, 1383 S. 900 West, Salt Lake City, through Sept. 11, Friday-Saturday, 7:30 p.m.; Saturday matinee 2 p.m.; Sunday, Sept. 11 matinee 3 p.m.; $17-$35, UtahRep.org Disney’s Beauty and the Beast Hale Center Theatre, 3333 S. Decker Lake Drive, West Valley City, 801-984-9000, through Oct. 1, MondayFriday, 7:30 p.m.; Saturday, 12:30 p.m., 4 p.m. & 7:30 p.m., HCT.org Ghostblasters Desert Star Theatre, 4681 S. State, Murray, 801-266-2600, through Nov. 5, varying days and times, DesertStar.biz Hunchback of Notre Dame Tuacahn Amphitheater, 1100 Tuacahn Drive, Ivins, 800-746-9882, through Oct. 15, varying days and times, Tuacahn.org Nunsense The Ziegfeld Theater, 3934 S. Washington Blvd., 855-944-2787, Sept. 9-Oct. 1, Mondays, Fridays & Saturdays, 7:30 p.m.; Saturday matinees, 2 p.m., TheZiegfeldTheater.com Saturday’s Voyeur Salt Lake Acting Co., 168 W. 500 North, 801-363-7522, through Sept. 11, Wednesday-Saturday, 7:30 p.m.; Sunday, 1 & 6 p.m., SaltLakeActingCompany.org See How They Run Hale Center Theater Orem, 225 W. 400 North, Orem, 801-226-8600, through Sept. 24, Monday-Friday, 7:30 p.m.; Saturday, 3 & 7:30 p.m., HaleTheater.org Tarzan Tuacahn Amphitheatre, 1100 Tuacahn Drive, Ivins, 800-746-9882, through Oct. 12, Monday-Saturday, 8:45 p.m., Tuacahn.org Transmorfers: Mormon Meets the Eye The Off Broadway Theatre, 272 S. Main, Salt Lake City, 801-355-4628, through Sept. 10, Monday, Friday & Saturday, 7:30 p.m., TheOBT.org Utah Shakespeare Festival Randall L. Jones Theatre, 351 W. Center St., Cedar City, 435-5867878, through Oct. 22, varying days and times, Bard.org Yellow Umbrellas Bydand Theater Co., The A-Frame, 883 N. 1200 East, Provo, through Sept. 10, Thursday-Saturday, 7:30 p.m., BydandTheater.com

DANCE

Beer & Ballet Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. 300 South, 801-355-2787, Sept. 10, 6 p.m., BalletWest.org

Utah native Desarae Lee showcases her imaginative work in Expressions in Ink at the Salt Lake City Main Library (Level 2 Canteena, 210 E. 400 South, SLCPL.org) through Oct. 9.

Brine: Intersections Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. 300 South, 801-355-2787, Sept. 13, 6 & 8 p.m.; Sept. 14, 7:30 p.m., BrineDance.com (see p. 21) RDT’s Ring Around the Rose: African Drums Rose Wagner Center, 138 W. 300 South, 801355-2787, Sept. 10, 11 a.m., RDTUtah.org Versa-Style Kingsbury Hall, 1395 E. Presidents Circle, 801-581-7100, Sept. 9, 7:30 p.m., Tickets.Utah.edu (see p. 21)

CLASSICAL & SYMPHONY

Utah Symphony: Beethoven’s Piano Concerto No. 1 with Jonathan Biss Abravanel Hall, 123 W. South Temple, 801-355-2787, Sept. 9-10, 7:30 p.m., UtahSymphony.org

COMEDY & IMPROV

Harland Williams Wiseguys SLC, 194 S. 400 West, 801-532-5233, Sept. 9-10; 7:30 p.m. & 9:30 p.m., WiseguysComedy.com Improv Broadway Brigham Larson Pianos, 1497 S. State, Orem, 909-260-2509, Saturdays, 8 p.m., ImprovBroadway.com Improv Comedy Ziegfeld Theater, 3934 Washington Blvd., Ogden, 435-327-8273, every Saturday, 9:30 p.m., OgdenComedyLoft.com Jackson Banks Wiseguys SLC, 194 S. 400 West, 801-532-5233, Sept. 8, 7:30 p.m., WiseguysComedy.com Laughing Stock Improv The Off Broadway Theatre, 272 S. Main, Salt Lake City, 801355-4628, Fridays & Saturdays, 10 p.m., LaughingStock.us Off the Wall Comedy Improv Draper Historic Theatre, 12366 S. 900 East, Draper, 801-572-4144, every Saturday, 10:30 p.m., DraperTheatre.org Open Mic Night Wiseguys SLC, 194 S. 400 West, Salt Lake City, 801-532-5233, every Wednesday, 7:30 p.m., WiseguysComedy.com Ryan Hamilton Wiseguys Ogden, 269 25th St., 801-622-5588, Sept. 9-10, 8 p.m., WiseguysComedy.com Sasquatch Cowboy The Comedy Loft, 3934 Washington Blvd., Ogden, Saturdays, 9:30 p.m., OgdenComedyLoft.com

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LITERATURE AUTHOR APPEARANCES

Ella Joy Olsen: Root, Petal, Thorn The King’s English Bookshop, 1511 S. 1500 East, 801-4849100, Sept. 8, 7 p.m., KingsEnglish.com Julie Nichols: Pigs When They Straddle the Air Weller Book Works, 607 Trolley Square, 801-3282586, Sept. 8, 6:30 p.m., WellerBookWorks.com Brian L. Durfee: The Forgetting Moon Weller Book Works, 607 Trolley Square, 801-328-2586, Sept. 9, 7 p.m., WellerBookWorks.com Mac Barnett: How This Book Was Made The King’s English Bookshop, 1511 S. 1500 East, 801484-9100, Sept. 9, 6:30 p.m., KingsEnglish.com Mark Pett: This Is My Book! The King’s English Bookshop, 1511 S. 1500 East, 801-484-9100, Sept. 10, 11 a.m., KingsEnglish.com

SPECIAL EVENTS FARMERS MARKETS

9th West Farmers Market International Peace Gardens, 1000 S. 900 West, Salt Lake City, Sundays, 10 a.m.-2 p.m., through October, 9thWestFarmersMarket.org Harvest Market Gallivan Center, 239 S. Main, Tuesdays, 4-8:30 p.m., through Oct. 18,

SLCFarmersMarket.org Park City Farmers Market The Canyons Resort, 1951 Canyons Resort Drive, Park City, Wednesdays, noon-6 p.m., through Oct. 26, ParkCityFarmersMarket.com Park Silly Sunday Market 600 Main St., Park City, Sundays, 10 a.m.-5 p.m., through Sept. 18, ParkSillySundayMarket.com Sugar House Farmers Market Fairmont Park, 1040 E. Sugarmont Ave., Salt Lake City, through Oct. 26, Wednesdays, 5-8 p.m., SugarHouseFarmersMarket.org Downtown Farmers Market Pioneer Park, 300 S. 300 West, Salt Lake City, through Oct. 22, Saturdays, 8 a.m.-2 p.m., SLCFarmersMarket.org

FESTIVALS & FAIRS

DocUtah Film Festival Dixie State College, 225 E. 700 South, St. George, through Sept. 10, see website for full schedule, $15-$40, DocUtah.com (see p. 21) Salt Lake City Greek Festival Greek Orthodox Church, 279 S. 300 West, Sept. 9-10, 11 a.m.-11 p.m.; Sept. 11, 11 a.m.-8 p.m., $3, children under 5 free, SaltLakeGreekFestival.com (see p. 21) VegFest Library Square, 210 E. 400 South, Sept. 10, 10 a.m., Facebook.com/UtahAnimalRights

TALKS & LECTURES

ARTLandish: Expanding Horizons with Land Arts Marriott Library Gould Auditorium, University of Utah, 295 S. 1500 East, Sept. 13, 7 p.m., UMFA.Utah.edu

VISUAL ART GALLERIES & MUSEUMS

Andrew Rice: (Re)structured Utah Museum of Contemporary Art, 20 S. West Temple, 801-3284201, through Oct. 8, UtahMOCA.org Artists of Utah 35x35 Exhibition Finch Lane Gallery, 1340 E. 100 South, 801-596-5000, through Sept. 23, SaltLakeArts.org Berna Reale: Singing in the Rain Utah Museum of Contemporary Art, 20 S. West Temple, 801328-4201, through Nov. 5, UtahMOCA.org Cara Krebs: Sehnsucht Utah Museum of Contemporary Art, 20 S. West Temple, 801-3284201, through Oct. 14, UtahMOCA.org Carol Bold Red Butte Garden, 300 Wakara Way, 801-585-0556, through Sept. 11, RedButteGarden.org Desarae Lee: Expressions in Ink Salt Lake City Main Library, 210 E. 400 South, 801-524-8200, through Oct. 9, SLCPL.lib.ut.us (see p. 24) Dionne Gordillo: Mi Gente Mestizo Institute of Culture and Arts, 631 W. North Temple, Ste. 700, 801-361-5662, through Sept. 9, Facebook.com/ MestizoArts J. Calhoun: High Places Make Me High Corinne and Jack Sweet Branch, 455 F St., 801594-8651, Sept. 12-Oct. 22, SLCPL.lib.ut.us Jim Williams: 265 I...Home as Self-Portrait Utah Musuem of Contemporary Art, 20 S. West Temple, 801-328-4201, through Sept. 24, UtahMOCA.org

Jennifer Seely: Supporting Elements Utah Museum of Contemporary Art, 20 S. West Temple, 801-328-4201, through Sept. 24, UtahMOCA.org Love Letters: A Gallery of Type Marriott Library, 295 S. 1500 East, 801-585-6168, through Sept. 30, Lib.Utah.edu Nancy Swanson Art at the Main, 210 E. 400 South, 801-363-4088, through Sept. 11, ArtAtTheMain.com Object[ed]: Shaping Sculpture in Contemporary Art Utah Museum of Contemporary Art, 20 S. West Temple, 801-3284201, through Dec. 17, UtahMOCA.org Ryoichi Suzuki “A” Gallery, 1321 S. 2100 East, 801-583-4800, through Sept. 30; reception Sept.

16, 6-8 p.m., AGalleryOnline.com Sibylle Szaggars Redford: Summer Rainfall Kimball Art Center, 1401 Kearns Blvd., Park City, 435-649-8882, through Sept. 25, KimballArtCenter.org Summertime Utah Artist Hands Gallery, 163 E. 300 South, 801-355-0206, through Sept. 10, UtaHands.com Tom Horton: 214222367: A Photographer’s Passport Sprague Branch, 2131 S. 1100 East, 801594-8640, through Sept. 10, SLCPL.Lib.UT.us (un)Finished Bountiful Davis Art Center, 90 S. Main, 801-295-3618, through Sept. 9, BDAC.org (see p. 22) Willamarie Huelskamp: A Peaceful Place Salt Lake City Chapman Library, 577 S. 900 West, 801-594-8623, through Oct. 27, SLCPL.lib.ut.us

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COOKBOOKS

Back to School

Learn to cook (and think) like a pro.

BY TED SCHEFFLER comments@cityweekly.net @critic1

A

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Apple’s food scene—those who might never appear on TV, but keep NYC delicious.

Anyone with an inkling of getting into the restaurant biz on any level should read Ten Restaurants That Changed America (available Sept. 20)

by Paul Freedman, with an introduction by restaurateur Danny Meyer (Union Square Cafe, Gramercy Tavern, Blue Smoke, The Modern and others). Freedman, a medieval historian and the chair of the History of Science and the History of Medicine program at Yale, starts at the beginning, with what is considered by most food historians to be America’s first “proper” restaurant, Delmonico’s. From there, the restaurant list is skewed toward New York City—Sylvia’s, Mama Leone’s, the Four Seasons, etc.—as Freedman makes the case that 10 restaurants essentially changed the way America eats. Included in the appendix are a few recipes such as Alice Waters’ curly endive salad from Chez Panisse, and Cecilia Chiang’s Sichuan twice-cooked pork, which helped make her Mandarin restaurant in San Francisco one of Freedman’s 10 most important.

Insofar as wine is mostly made to be sipped with food, anyone in the restaurant business— or just wanting a working knowledge of wine—will appreciate Jancis Robinson’s new book. I know what you’re thinking: You don’t have time to read Robinson’s 912-page The Oxford Companion to Wine, or her Wine Grapes, which boasts 1,280 pages. Good news: The 24-Hour Wine Expert is a diminutive, 112page, small-format book that can literally be read in a day or less. This small volume is jam-packed with Robinson’s impeccably clear advice and information about wine, including how to pair it with food, how to choose it from a retailer, how to handle and store it, myths, essential hardware and much more. The 24-Hour Wine Expert is an amazing little bang-for-the-buck book for any vino lover, or for those who plan to become one. CW

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food-stained, because it’s one of the best peeks into a professional kitchen. 32 Yolks: From My Mother’s Table to Working the Line is Eric Ripert’s new book. It’s a coming-ofage story about the making of a French chef that provides insights into the drudgery of becoming a chef (it isn’t all about Food TV, after all) and, ultimately, the pressurized atmosphere of running a high-profile eatery. Anyone aspiring to become a professional chef—not to mention a loving, wonderful human being—would do well to read Ripert’s moving account of his own ascension into the culinary stratosphere.

When the Italian cookbook author Marcella Hazan passed away in 2013, she left behind a trove of handwritten notebooks about how to find, recognize and use the best ingredients for cooking. Those notes have been lovingly translated and transcribed by her longtime collaborator and husband, Victor Hazan, and the result is Ingredienti: Marcella’s Guide to the Market. The main thrust of the Hazans’ book is that before you know how to cook, you must know how to shop. “There have been no more satisfying times in my life than those that I have spent in a food market, wherever in the world I have been,” Marcella writes. Ingredienti—a delicious selection of fabulous food portraits—is sure to change the way you think about and shop for your own food.

The book’s title is quite a mouthful, but Ina Yalof’s recently published Food and the City: New York’s Professional Chefs, Restaurateurs, Line Cooks, Street Vendors, and Purveyors Talk About What They Do and Why They Do It is a compelling, behindthe-scenes look at more than 50 people who help make New York City’s food scene one of the most vibrant in the world. With interviews that run the gamut from restaurant dishwashers to executive chefs and owners, Yalof’s book isn’t about celebrity chef name-dropping, although a few are included. It’s really about the hard-working, un-famous folks who are the heart and soul of the Big

italianvillageslc.com

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lthough I’m still paying off my gradschool education, there’s a part of me each fall that yearns to hit the books again. And so, every year as warmweather barbecues transition to cooking indoors, I try to up my game a bit. In addition to learning new recipes, another way to do that is to learn how great chefs and other cooks think, and about why they do what they do and make the choices they make. This has been an excellent year so far not just for cookbooks, but for books about cooking and food in general—ones that can be extremely useful in either the home or professional kitchen. Here are a few of my favorite “back to school” books from this banner year: As drummer, producer, musical director and cofounder of The Roots, Questlove (Ahmir Khalib Thompson) isn’t well-known for his culinary expertise, but his curiosity is boundless.

Hence, his fascinating new book called Something to Food About: Exploring Creativity with Innovative Chefs. Starting with the best book cover you’ve ever seen, Questlove’s mission is to discover what makes some of the planet’s most creative chefs tick, including Eleven Madison Park/Nomad chef Daniel Humm, Modernist Cuisine Lab’s Nathan Myhrvold, French celebrity chef Ludo Lefebvre and Donald Link of New Orleans’ Cochon. This is a terrific read with gorgeous photography and plenty of food for thought.

If I had to pick a single person to cook my last supper, I would want it to be Eric Ripert, co-owner and chef of New York City’s Le Ber n a r d i n—w h ich many food lovers consider to be America’s best restaurant, if not the world’s.

My copy of Ripert’s On the Line—a nutsand-bolts look at what it takes to operate a world-class restaurant—is dog-eared and

DINE

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At the Crossroads

Crossroads Urban Center—a grassroots nonprofit serving low-income, homeless and underrepresented populations in Utah—celebrates its 50th year of helping the needy, fighting poverty and building community with a tasty fundraiser on Sept. 18: their annual Wine & Cheese Party. Once again, the generous folks at The Bayou (645 State, UtahBayou.com) host the benefit featuring select wines, gourmet cheeses, breads and fresh fruit, plus music by Controlled Burn and the J.T. Draper Band. The event runs from 1-4 p.m., and tickets are $45 (advance) or $50 at the door. A table for six is $250. For tickets, visit EventBrite.com

OPEN LATE FRI & SAT TO 3:00AM

35 West Broadway 801.961.7077• siciliapizza.net

The Cheesesiest

Congratulations once again to Utah’s own Beehive Cheese Co. (2440 E. 6600 South, Uintah, 801-476-9000, BeehiveCheese. com), who cleaned up at the recent Idaho Milk Processors Association cheese contest winning 12 awards out of 18 total categories. Among the winners were Beehive Cheese’s Apple Walnut Smoked, Promontory, and my favorite, Big John’s Cajun. For a spicy Cajun-Creole spin on pizza, I recommend grating some Big John’s Cajun on your pie.

S ON U W FOLLO GRAM A T S IN

X-Rated

Look for an exciting new restaurant to open this fall called Table X. It’s the creation of a trio of chefs—Mike Blocher, Nick Fahs and David Barboza—and will be located at 1457 E. 3350 South, Salt Lake City (TableXRestaurant.com). The restaurant—situated in a building dating back to the 1930s—retains its original wood-barreled roof, with an extensive culinary garden outside. In addition to regular seating, it will also feature a private dining room overlooking the vegetable garden and accommodating up to 14 guests. The chefs bring a lot of experience: Blocher studied and cooked in Washington, D.C., and Vermont; Fahs ran kitchens in Maine, Wisconsin, New York and Virginia before returning to his SLC roots; and Barboza—hailing from a Portuguese-Irish family—is a native of Maryland and worked at restaurants in New York and Virginia. I can’t wait to see what the menu looks like.

LY

EEK W C L @S

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IZZA & GOOD TIM ES!

Quote of the week: “Summer cooking implies a sense of immediacy, a capacity to capture the essence of the fleeting moment.”

—Elizabeth David Food Matters 411: tscheffler@cityweekly.net

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JUMBO

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MONDAY: 11:30-9PM TUES-SAT: 11:30-10PM SUNDAY: 4-10PM

18 MARKET STREET 801.519.9595

SEPTEMBER 8, 2016 | 31

L U N C H • D I N N E R • C O C K TA I L S

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Contemporary Japanese Dining

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BEER, WINE & SPIRITS

Ravenswood’s Big 40 Celebrating four decades of American zin.

BY TED SCHEFFLER comments@cityweekly.net @critic1

I

f you happen to be in the vicinity of Sonoma, Calif., on Sunday, Sept. 11, you might want to swing by Ravenswood Winery on Gehricke Road for their 40th anniversary party, where you can blend your own Ravenswood Icon wine, taste the newly released 2014 zinfandels, enjoy a barbecue and groove to the sounds of Ten Foot Tone and The Cork Pullers. The price: $40, of course.

Thankfully, you don’t have to travel to Sonoma to taste these iconic California zins. At least some of these selections are readily available at many local stores.

It is said that ravens circled overhead on the day in 1976 when founding winemaker Joel Peterson completed his first harvest—

hence the name. Since then, the company has become California’s leading producer of zinfandel.

It’s interesting, and a little ironic, that Peterson—who’s been dubbed “the godfather of zin”—has a background in microbiology and worked as a medical researcher.

It’s ironic because he doesn’t make “modern science” wines. Rather, they’re oldschool; Peterson practices the art of traditional winemaking as found in Burgundy and Bordeaux, and his best creations come from old, gnarly, pre-Prohibition, dryfarmed, low-production vineyards. He utilizes wild yeast fermentation in open-top fermenters, and the wines undergo long aging in small French oak barrels. They’re neither over-oaked, nor sugar-coated. As he once told me, “Our goal is to exalt the grape, not overwhelm it.”

In conjunction with the anniversary, the winery is also having a sort of homecoming, as Gary Sitton, who began his career there in 1999, has returned to take over the position of winemaking director. He and Peterson have collaborated on a special commemorative, bottling of zinfandel, blending grapes from Ravenwood’s world-class Old Hill, Teldeschi and Barricia vineyards. Unfortunately, it’s only available in gift boxes at the winery. However, you can, and should, treat yourself to the Ravenswood Single Vineyard

DRINK Designates produced with grapes from the aforementioned vineyards. This series is all about terroir—vineyard locations that are ideally suited to the grapes grown there: old, low-yield vines that are site-specific. 2013 Ravenswood Dickerson Vineyard Zinfandel Napa Valley ($33) is the most refined and elegant of the series, offering up notes of mint and eucalyptus, along with sweet mid-palate raspberry and currant fruit flavors that are wellbalanced by the wine’s acidity.

I recently had the good fortune of tasting 2013 Ravenswood Old Hill Vineyard Zinfandel Sonoma Valley ($58), made in part from Old Hill Vineyard zinfandel grapes that are thought to date back as far as 1855.

This is a wine that’ll be a standout 10 years from

now, but if you’re in a hurry and can’t wait a decade, be sure to decant it.

It’s muscular and assertive with well-balanced acidity and mineral undertones leading to a long, lovely finish.

For a weighty vino with lots of black fruit flavors, think in terms of 2013 Ravenswood Barricia Vineyard Zinfandel Sonoma Valley ($35). It’s a dense, rich wine that, according to Peterson, has a high percentage of petite sirah.

Save it for a dark and stormy night.

For less cash, they also produce quality everyday zins like the 2013 Vintners Blend Old Vine Zinfandel ($13), 2013 Sonoma County Old Vine Zinfandel ($15), and 2014 Lodi Old Vine Zinfandel ($15). Personally, I’m raising a glass to the next 40 years of ravishing Ravenswood wines. CW

KATIE ELDRIDGE

REVIEW BITES

A sampler of Ted Scheffler’s reviews

A customized scramble from Mollie & Ollie Mollie & Ollie

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The concept is a brilliant one, from the menu itself to the ordering system. The restaurant’s menu—which features breakfast items, scrambles, stir-fries, salads, wraps, side dishes, desserts and beverages—is accessed via an area of kiosks equipped with touch-screen tablets. Guests order a basic item, then add their preferred toppings, sides, sauces (either “light” or “heavy”) and beverages. It’s very easy to eat healthy here, since many of the dishes are so customizable for individual tastes and preferences; you really can have it your way. Although this might be a “fast food” restaurant, the owners pride themselves on offering food that is also fresh and nutritious—and often locally sourced. Be careful how you customize, however, because the price of one of these build-your-own items can escalate quickly, depending on add-ons; a stir-fry that started at $7.95, by the time I’d customized it, totaled $14.26 with a drink. The permutations are nearly endless, since customers are provided with such a dizzying array of options. Is it good food? I’d say, in the main, yes, and a very welcome change from most of the “fast-fresh” establishments I’ve encountered. Reviewed Aug. 11.

159 S. Main, 801-328-5659, MollieandOllie.com

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SEPT john rogers 10TH SEPT robert bland 17TH SEPT jt draper 24TH

SEPTEMBER 8, 2016 | 33

@

2005 E. 2700 SOUTH, SLC FELDMANSDELI.COM FELDMANSDELI OPEN TUES - SAT TO GO ORDERS: (801) 906-0369

now serving breakfast

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Featuring dining destinations from buffets and rooms with a view to momand-pop joints, chic cuisine and some of our dining critic’s faves.

Astro Burgers

6213 South Highland Drive | 801.635.8190 Book our food truck for your next corporate, private, or public event call 801.975.4052

34 | SEPTEMBER 8, 2016

Breakfast, lunch and dinner are served daily at this GreekAmerican eatery. For a good morning wake-me-up, try the gyro-and-egg sandwich. Burgers range from the classic Astro to the mushroom-Swiss and chile-verde.

The patty melt sandwich is always a good option, as are menu items like the chicken kabob and gyro sandwiches, the Greek lemon rice and the baklava. For the adventurous, there’s also a pastrami burrito on the menu, as well as thick and creamy shakes. Multiple Locations, AstroBurgers.com

Blue Poblano

This craft taquería and burger house has grown its base from a street cart to its current downtown location, and prides itself on serving a delicious blend of traditional Navajo and Mexican dishes using all-natural and homemade ingredients. Try the delicious al pastor taco (sweet marinated pork, pineapple, salsa rojo, cabbage, green onion and chipotle). If you are not in the taco mood, try their signature Poblano burger—roasted green chiles, garlic relish, onions and chipotle mayo on a fresh patty and hot bun. 473 E. 300 South, Salt Lake City, 801-8839078, BluePoblano.com

Schedule of events can be found at apolloburgers.com 13 NEIGHBORHOOD LOCATIONS |

FA C E B O O K . C O M / A P O L L O B U R G E R

S ItSessTen &GRU T DA estaura n Delica

Germa

The Huddle Sports Bar & Grill

The Huddle stands out as one of Utah’s top sports bars, with unobstructed views of its 24 monitors showing “big ticket” games: NBA, MLB, NASCAR, NFL, PGA. If that weren’t enough, friendly servers keep the food and drinks coming, which is much better than getting up and down to grab a cold one from your fridge. Chow down on the famous pulled-pork sandwich or a tangy chile verde burrito. 2400 E. Fort Union Blvd., Holladay, 801-438-8300, TheHuddleSportsBar.com

nt

La Bella Piastra

Located in the Salt Lake City Center Marriott, La Bella Piastra serves upscale continental cuisine with delicious Italian flavors. Before or after dinner, relax over cocktails while enjoying the eye-catching décor. During warm weather, the patio looking out on Gallivan Plaza is a great spot to dine. Try the specialty pizzas, pastas and seafood or the breakfast and lunch buffets. 220 S. State, Salt Lake City, 801-366-8065

Pho Thin

This Vietnamese restaurant is a little different than most others in Salt Lake City. It’s more upscale than you might normally expect, with a vibrant color palette, subdued lighting, a large communal table in the front of the restaurant, counter seats that are perfect for solo diners and a couple of booths in the back. Naturally, most people come for the pho, a beef-based Vietnamese soup with rice noodles. The broth is everything, with subtle hints of star anise, clove, ginger and cinnamon, to which customers can add their choice of meats and veggies.

2121 S. McClelland St., Salt Lake City, 801-4352323, PhoThinUtah.com

Wired Walrus Euro Cafe

Breakfast features omelet and waffle bars, along with housemade gourmet doughnuts, pastries, sticky buns, fresh-baked quiche, yogurt and more. Lunch runs the gamut from soft pretzels, bruschetta, paninis and salads, to soup with roasted tomato, baby peppers and artichokes, crème fraiche and an herb drizzle. And, as the name might suggest, the Wired Walrus provides free Wi-Fi. 2155 S. Highland Drive, Salt Lake City, 801-946-2079

20 W. 200 S. • (801) 355-3891 Open Mon-Wed: 9am-6pm Thu-Sat: 9am-9pm

Catering available

Start your day off right.

Pick up the July/August issue of Devour Utah

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GOODEATS Complete listings at CityWeekly.net

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2 no .7• septem ber

2016 • Din e

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Eat Right, Live Right, Fresh & Healthy!

Under-t Radar heEats p. 34

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In The Heart Of Sugar House

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FAMILY FILMS

What box-office results for 2016 family films tell us about the movies kids see.

A

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SEPTEMBER 8, 2016 | 35

accomplished.

This is where parents are failing their kids, and they’re doing it over and over again. They’re taking kids to what those kids want to see, or what’s easy to get them to see, rather than making the effort to find the best, most enriching stories for them.

They’re doing the equivalent of letting their kids eat nothing but sugared cereals, because that’s what the kids ask for when they go to the grocery store. It’s a parent’s job not to give kids what they want, but to give them what they need. Whatever job parents might be doing to see to their kids nutritional well-being, they’re doing a piss-poor job of seeing to their aesthetic well-being.

Animated junk food doesn’t seem worth worrying about.

If this appears to be a thoroughly selfserving suggestion that parents should give more weight to critics’ reviews … OK, maybe that’s partly true. But why didn’t parents pay attention to the overwhelming critical consensus that Kubo and Pete’s Dragon were great kid-appropriate entertainment? Had moms already used up their summer disposable entertainment dollars on the other stuff? Is it just further evidence that critics’ voices are irrelevant? Or were the voices of critics simply drowned out by the voices of studio marketing?

Parents are understandably defensive about being told what they’re doing wrong—and someone is always telling parents what they’re doing wrong. And maybe, considering how I survived a childhood of Scooby-Doo on TV, I should ease back on suggesting that the sky is falling.

But it’s always worth asking, “How can I do better?” Maybe part of that “better” is waiting to show kids stories that speak to them deeply, rather than those that speak to them loudly. CW

s much joy as art can give us, there are times when it hurts to care about it. One of those times is pretty much any time I’m reminded how little a whole lot of other people care about it.

Such a sensation washed over me as I followed the opening-weekend box-office results for Kubo and the Two Strings, one of my favorite films of 2016. It came in at a soft $12.5 million for its first three days, following on the heels of less-than-spectacular debuts for a pair of the year’s other charming, distinctive family-oriented films: Steven Spielberg’s The BFG and Disney’s Pete’s Dragon remake. In a year when one of the surest things at the box office has been kids’ films—from Zootopia to The Jungle Book to Finding Dory to The Secret Life of Pets—it was a hard thing to swallow. America’s parents were letting me down.

On Aug. 21, wallowing in my disappointment, I tweeted the following: “Opening weekends: SECRET LIFE OF PETS: $104M ANGRY BIRDS: $38.1M PETE’S DRAGON $21.5M KUBO $12.5M Epic parental fails.”

One response took issue with my assessment: “Why? Because people like things you don’t?”

That might seem like a fair question, except that it really has nothing to do with the statistics as I presented them. As I said

Angry Birds vs. Kubo and the Two Strings: Parents, it’s up to you.

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BY SCOTT RENSHAW scottr@cityweekly.net @scottrenshaw

to that respondent, opening weekend box office numbers have nothing to do with what people “like.” I was careful to use opening box office as my metric, and not cumulative totals, because opening weekends are all about marketing.

Without the likelihood of positive word-ofmouth or repeat viewing driving the numbers, those first few days depend on people responding to a movie’s media campaign.

Or, in the case of kid-oriented films, they depend on parents responding to their kids responding to that media campaign.

It shouldn’t need to be said, but I’m going to say it anyway: You’re not a bad parent if you took your kids to see The Secret Life of Pets. You’re not a bad parent if you didn’t take your kids to see Kubo and the Two Strings. You’re not a bad parent—or person—if you liked The Secret Life of Pets more than Kubo and the Two Strings, although I personally might have reason to question your judgment. This isn’t about that. At all.

What it’s about is a certainly laziness that takes hold where children’s entertainment is concerned. Because while parents might be extremely concerned about whether movies and TV shows are appropriate for their kids, they often don’t seem to care all that much about whether they’re good.

If that seems like I’m contradicting myself, let me backtrack. A parent might end up thinking The Secret Life of Pets is a better movie than Kubo and the Two Strings, but that parent isn’t buying opening weekend tickets for their family because they think it’s good. That’s a decision inspired by the commercials they saw, the teaser trailer that was on the DVD of Minions, or the Happy Meal toys at McDonald’s. It looked cute. Or their kids thought it looked cute, and pestered Mom for weeks about when it was going to come out. The decision to buy tickets for that movie wasn’t an attempt to show their kids the best movies they possibly could. It was something to do to pass the time, and as long as the movie didn’t end up being Sausage Party, mission

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The Parents Are All Wrong

CINEMA

CINEMA CLIPS

MOVIE TIMES AND LOCATIONS AT CITYWEEKLY.NET

NEW THIS WEEK Information is correct at press time. Film release schedules are subject to change.

BEFORE I WAKE [not yet reviewed] An orphaned child (Jacob Tremblay) dreams terrible things into the real world. Opens Sept. 9 at theaters valleywide. (PG-13) FOR THE LOVE OF SPOCK BB.5 When a son is making a documentary about his father, you’re going to get a lot of love, but maybe not a lot of objectivity about what will make for a good movie. Adam Nimoy completes a project begun before the 2015 death of his father—Star Trek icon Leonard Nimoy—in a film that ranges from the actor’s childhood, to his creation of Mr. Spock, and through the impact of that one famous character on the rest of his professional and personal life. Nimoy fils isn’t unwilling to dig into the less-than-ideal parts of his dad’s story, including his alcoholism, resulting in something that feels generally honest and at times pleasantly goofy in its archival footage of stuff like Leonard’s would-be music career. But there’s virtually no flow to any of the material, which bounces between interviews (featuring cast members from the original Trek and the new movie series), anecdotes, archival footage and analysis. The result just feels like an information dump, so concerned with not leaving out a single fond recollection or quirky bit of trivia that it never becomes a story.

Opens Sept. 9 at Megaplex Gateway. (NR)—Scott Renshaw

OUR LITTLE SISTER BBB There’s a lot of heartache and yearning under the surface—a strange thing to say about a movie so outwardly congenial and nearly conflict-free. But that’s the pleasure (maybe) of this understated Japanese family drama from director Hirokazu Koreeda.

Three sisters—responsible Sachi (Haruka Ayase), slightly wild Yoshino (Masami Nagasawa) and teenager Chika (Kaho)—learn upon the death of their estranged father that they have a half-sister, 14-year-old Suzu (Suzu Hirose), who comes to live with them in the house they’ve shared since their flighty mother abandoned them years ago. All four sisters get along swimmingly (the new one isn’t evil or anything) as they go to their jobs or school, find or lose boyfriends and live their tranquil lives. Remarkably, without much overt drama, Koreeda and the actresses establish richly drawn characters whose lives feel lived-in. We understand their individual struggles and insecurities without having them spelled out.

Koreeda’s restrained style and gentle pace might try some viewers’ patience, but if you can roll with it, it’s a lovely, poignant slice of life.

Opens Sept. 9 at Broadway Centre Cinemas. (PG)—Eric D. Snider PHANTOM BOY BB.5 A haunting concept gets tangled up with a goofy comic-book plot in this French animated tale from the Oscar-nominated A Cat in Paris

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I AM NOT A SERIAL KILLER BBB The genius in the John Wayne Cleaver books by Utah author Dan Wells was in the creation of his protagonist: a sociopathic highschool student who commits himself to studying cold-blooded massmurderers because he fears the capacity in himself to become one.

Co-writer/director Billy O’Brien nails that part in his casting of Max Records in this adaptation of the series’ first book, which finds John

investigating grisly killings in his small town that may be connected to his elderly neighbor (Christopher Lloyd). There’s a gritty, understated quality to the way O’Brien navigates the narrative’s shift toward supernatural thriller, finding eerie moments in something as simple as the sound of an elliptical machine resembling a demon’s wail. But Records’ strong performance anchors everything, complicating his role as the story’s “hero” when you can see the hint of a smile in his response to a brutal murder. O’Brien might get clumsy in his exposition—there’s no excuse for an unironic use of a TV reporter saying, “This reporter has learned …”—but it’s a unique achievement for a genre film to make it tricky to decide who’s the real monster. Opens Sept. 9 at Megaplex Jordan Commons. (R)—SR

SULLY [not yet reviewed] The behind-the-headlines story of the airline pilot (Tom Hanks) who saved a plane headed for a watery crash. Opens Sept. 9 at theaters valleywide. (PG-13)

THE WILD LIFE BB This animated retelling of the story of Robinson Crusoe is suitable only for the smallest children still undiscriminating enough to be distracted by bright colors, clichéd slapstick shenanigans of talking cartoon animals and the sort of simplistic wordplay that presumes you’ve only just discovered idioms (“We’ll make them pay,” the feline villain cackles.

“How much are we charging them?” her dimbulb sidekick wonders).

This isn’t so much the story of Crusoe (the voice of Yuri Lowenthal) as that of the animals on the small island upon which he is shipwrecked, including parrot Tuesday (David Howard); oddly, there is only one of each kind of animal, so how this community sustains itself is a mystery.

All depictions of peril—such as the storm that stranded Crusoe— and all expressions of despair and loneliness come at purely toddlerappropriate levels, and the biggest moment of drama or surprise is when Crusoe comes to the conclusion that he had probably better build himself a shelter. The makers of the Madagascar series and The Secret Life of Pets don’t need to lose any sleep over the competition. Opens Sept. 9 at theaters valleywide. (PG)—MaryAnn Johanson

SPECIAL SCREENINGS THE BLACK STALLION At Main Library, Wednesday, Sept. 14, 2 p.m. (G) THE DECLINE OF WESTERN CIVILIZATION, PART I & III At Tower Theatre, Wednesday, Sept. 14, 7 p.m., with director Penelope Spheeris. (R) THE TERMINATOR At Brewvies, Monday, Sept. 12, 10 p.m. (R)

more than just movies at brewvies

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36 | SEPTEMBER 8, 2016

team of Alain Gagnol and Jean-Loup Felicioli. In New York City, master criminal The Face (Vincent D’Onofrio, revisiting his Men in Black voice) threatens to take down the city with a computer virus, opposed by oft-disciplined police detective Alex Tanner (Jared Padalecki) and 11-year-old cancer patient Leo (Marcus D’Angelo), who can invisibly, intangibly leave his body and fly around the city when he’s unconscious.

There’s a rich metaphor in the idea of a sick, imaginative boy who turns his illness into a way to become a hero; it’s a surprisingly catch-in-thethroat moment when Leo says, “Sometimes I forget how heavy my body is.” But much of the storyline resorts to broad slapstick involving The Face’s hapless henchmen, like it’s an episode of the vintage Batman TV series. While Felcioli’s unique visual style makes this a welcome alternative to cookie-cutter CGI, Phantom Boy never reaches its full emotional potential when the countdown clock for the villain’s plan gets equal billing with the countdown clock for Leo’s life. Opens Sept. 9 at Broadway Centre Cinemas. (PG)—SR

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Killing Time

TV

Solid So-So Sucks

Quarry nails ’70s crime-noir; Masters of Sex gets nailed in the ’70s.

Quarry Friday, Sept. 9 (Cinemax)

Series Debut: Fox has moved up the debut of combo animation/live-action comedy Son of Zorn a couple of weeks to be unleashed after an NFL doubleheader— because if there’s anything the ever-intellectual football audience loves, it’s hyper-weird meta-sitcoms. Son of Zorn, from writer-directors Chris Miller and Phil Lord (The Lego Movie, though I prefer “the creators of MTV’s unheralded classic Clone High”), is about cartoon warrior Zorn (voiced

by Jason Sudeikis) leaving the ’toon nation of Zephyria and returning to flesh-and-blood Orange County to reconnect with his ex-wife (Cheryl Hines) and son (Johnny Pemberton). He’s Sterling Archer in He-Man’s body, and SoZ doesn’t bother to look for much comedy beyond that, because how could mashing up two Fox mainstays—

Masters of Sex Sunday, Sept. 11 (Showtime)

Season Premiere: Bill Masters (Michael Sheen) and Virginia Johnson (Lizzy Caplan) finally cross over into the ’70s—burn those bras and break out the polyester (but not too close to each other; flammability was a major concern back in ancient ’Merica). The sexual revolution that Masters and Johnson inadvertently sparked in the ’60s is also in full swing— insert all puns here—but Bill’s in no position to enjoy it, as he’s battling to keep his controversial practice in court while battling other demons in AA. He’s also still estranged from professional partner/obsession Virginia, who ran off with Dan (Josh Charles) at the end of last season. The former Mrs. Masters, Libby (Caitlin FitzGerald), is D-U-N with Bill and exploring her new world of options like a champ (thanks for that sexual revolution, M&J). Season 4 of Masters of Sex also steers a bit lighter than the tearjerkers of the past few years— obviously, the hair and clothes alone are comedy gold.

American Horror Story Wednesday, Sept. 14 (FX)

Season Premiere: As of this writing, there’s been no “official” announcement from FX as to the theme for Season 6 of Ryan Murphy’s American Horror Story anthology series,

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Series Debut: The only funny aspect of Comedy Central’s new animated series Legends of Chamberlin Heights is the name of the school where it’s set: Michael Clarke Duncan High. That’s it.

Listen to Frost Mondays at 8 a.m. on X96 Radio From Hell, and on the TV Tan podcast via Stitcher, iTunes, Google Play and BillFrost.tv.

SEPTEMBER 8, 2016 | 37

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just a handful of promos that were meant to be misleading. Where to go after Murder House, Asylum, Coven, Freak Show and Hotel? My personal pick would be American Horror Story: Comcast Service Center. Review-dumpster website Rotten Tomatoes recently listed the upcoming season as American Horror Story: The Mist, but that was once a Stephen King novel and movie, and Spike already has a related television series in development. Themes hinted in the promos include aliens, cults, the antichrist, radiation fallout or even a return to Hollywood (à la Season 1, Murder House), but why not make a play to get Connie Britton back with American Horror Story: Nashville?

Want to sell your company?

Quarry (Cinemax)

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Son of Zorn Sunday, Sept. 11 (Fox)

ridiculous cartoons and quirky suburban families— possibly fail? Barring Bob’s Burgers-level development from lame pilot to much-improved series, Son of Zorn isn’t long for this world, or Zephyria.

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

Series Debut: If Quarry were premiering on HBO instead of lesser-subscribed-to cousin Cinemax, it would be hyped like the second coming of True Detective (Season 1, of course). The 1972-set crime-noir series is based on the novels of Max Allan Collins (Road to Perdition) and directed by Greg Yaitanes (the late, great Banshee), so Quarry’s pedigree is already as hard-boiled as they come, and the pilot episode delivers even harder—but it’s a slow burn, so patience. U.S. Marine Mac (Logan Marshall-Green) returns home to Memphis after enduring a harrowing—and wellpublicized stateside—tour in Vietnam, only to encounter anti-war hippie-hate and bleak job prospects; even his devoted girlfriend Joni (Jodi Balfour) is wary of him. When approached by a man calling himself The Broker (Peter Mullan), a mysterious crime boss looking to hire a killer with Mac’s marksman skills, he initially turns down the offer, but is inevitably sucked in—because, crime-noir.

Quarry (named both for Mac and The Broker’s rocky meeting place and the hunter/game definition) is grittily crafted down to the most minute details, and then spun with jarring twists, all anchored by Marshall-Green’s intense, mercurial performance. Here’s the second season of True Detective you really wanted.

Mutating Grace

MUSIC

Swans’ new end marks a new beginning.

BY KIMBALL BENNION comments@cityweekly.net

W

hen Swans—Michael Gira’s legendary avant rock project that helped shape New York City’s post-punk scene in the 1980s—began to tour again for the first time since their break-up almost 15 years prior, there were some who assumed the band was embarking on a nostalgiafueled cash grab. “I guess they anticipated a kind of reunion tour, which we thankfully didn’t provide,” Gira says in a recent telephone interview with City Weekly.

Instead, the band—featuring most of its longtime members except keyboardist/vocalist Jarboe—began what would arguably become its most artistically and commercially significant output to date. The stretch of albums that Swans released beginning with 2010’s My Father Will Guide Me Up a Rope to the Sky was a high point that Gira’s perpetual exercise in viscerally transcendent experimentation had not quite reached until he decided to give the band another go.

That period of rebirth is coming to an end—at least for this iteration of the band. Gira says The Glowing Man (Young God/Mute), released in June, is the last album to be recorded by their current lineup. “I didn’t want to end up having to start imitating ourselves,” he says. Swans will continue to exist in whatever form he reimagines it, but what the band will look or sound like is anyone’s guess.

So calling it a swan song (sorry) might not be accurate, but The Glowing Man, a two-hour brain bender that demands as much from your ears as it rewards them, does sound like a farewell of sorts.

Or maybe a discarding. In the song “People Like Us,” Gira sings: “We’re calling for more/ ’cause nothing is left/ The words are all gone/ There’s more to be said.” His well-aged baritone slithers through the song, which is fitting. Like a snake, he seems compelled by nature to shed his skin every now and then if he hopes to survive.

Gira formed the group in 1982 during New York’s no-wave movement, the same scene that would spawn Sonic Youth (that band’s Thurston Moore played second bass briefly in Swans’ earliest iteration). Their early albums consisted of loud, repetitive riffs played at a punishing volume as Gira yelped about dread and spiritual torment. Their live shows gained a similar reputation as crushingly loud, physically taxing experiences. Even so, there was a certain gracefulness to their music, a sense that it aimed to transcend mere decibel levels.

Swans would spend the next 15 years evolving its sound at an often jaw-dropping pace, shifting from the acoustic digressions in 1987’s Children of God, to the proto-industrial Soundtracks for the Blind from 1997. By the time the band broke up after Soundtracks’ release, they had left behind an astonishing body of work that would continue to be analyzed and rediscovered by rock fans for years to come.

Gira, who now finds himself in the unique position of disbanding the group for a second time, would be forgiven for gazing backward. He insists he doesn’t have time for it. “That’s just silly,” the 62-year-old says. “Life’s short. I want to make new work.”

SAMANTHA MARBLE

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CONCERT PREVIEW

Left to right: Chris Pravdica, Phil Puleo, Christoph Hahn, Paul Wallfisch, Michael Gira and Norman Westberg of Swans While the music he’s made over the years continues to redefine itself, his basic approach seems to stay about the same. He has often said that he’s never written a finished song. In other words, Gira sees his music as something that can continue to mutate even after it’s been recorded. For Swans, the barrier that some artists put between a recorded album and a live performance is fluid.

They will often let songs develop on stage, seeing what works and what doesn’t until there’s enough to take into a studio. But the song that ends up on an album doesn’t stop growing just because it’s been put to tape. “Necessarily,” Gira says, “we start tearing the thing apart again to try to stay in the moment, and keep it urgent.”

He admits it can be an exhausting way to perform, but when it works, it’s what he lives for: “I want the music to lift us up, take us somewhere. It’s not really my job to say where that’s going to be, but when it’s working, it’s utterly ecstatic to me.” He says there are even a few songs that have been fleshed out on the road that will likely never see a studio—at least not with this current group. “It’s a way of keeping in mind that what’s happening at the moment is the most important.”

The only constant in Gira’s career has been that perpetual motion brought on by an insatiable itch for reinterpretation—whether of a song or of the group itself. “I could look at the whole career,” he says, “as a kind of continual stabbing at the dark, trying to find some sort of way forward.” CW

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Shred Lightly Terence Hansen and his crossed-necked guitars.

BY RANDY HARWARD rharward@cityweekly.net

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alking down the hall at the Utah Arts Alliance, Terence Hansen, backlit by fluorescent lighting, resembles a hirsute Dr. Octopus. The dangling straps and dual necks of the two guitars he totes—one acoustic, one a tricked-out electric—are like superfluous appendages. I offer to lighten his load, but he refuses.

Hansen insists on carrying both guitars.

These are one-of-a-kind instruments. His manager, Jos van Oost, helped get them custom-made through Heeres Custom Guitars, based in The Hague in the Netherlands.

Their necks aren’t parallel, like typical double-necks—they cross. Hansen had the idea years ago while performing at the open mic night he curated for Mo’s American Diner. “I used to play two guitars at the same time,” he says. “I’d hold one guitar normally and I had the other on a stand.” He played the instruments by tapping the strings.

Tapping is a technique commonly (and erroneously) attributed to Eddie Van Halen, but some say dates as early as 1932, or even to the 19th century, if you count Paganini bouncing bows off violin strings. Many other guitarists toyed with the technique before EVH, but he popularized it with the now-classic solo piece, “Eruption.” Hansen can shred, and plays rock and metal, but his discography shows his interests aren’t so narrow. Angry Fly (1993) is “prog-shred instrumental,” and Progressive Insight (1997) is two hours of mediation music. Void of Course (2005) is acoustic and electric shred, adding vocals; Songs for Two Guitars (2006) is poppy, and Dueling Guitars veers into singer-songwriter territory.

His latest, Some of My Ghosts (TerenceHansen.com, 2015), is the recording debut of the cross-necked guitars, and another stylistic shift. Although you can hear the influence of prog-rock trio King’s X in the vocal harmonies and complex rhythms, stylistically, Ghosts is more soft rock, jazz and new age. Sometimes

Terence Hansen

it’s hard to tell when you’re hearing a guitar, since Hansen uses guitar synthesizers integrated into the electric crossed-neck.

One of the most striking songs on Ghosts is “Riddle.” It starts with him hammering power chords on the lower neck of his acoustic with his left hand, and tapping a melody on the upper neck with his right.

Bass adds dimension, and dry, unprocessed drums give the song an understated urgency. When his airy, multi-tracked vocals come in, the song breathes. Hypnotic and comforting, it’s like a metaphor for life—the vocals and stringed instruments representing consciousness and emotion, juxtaposed with the drums, signifying the external, uncontrollable ticking of time.

It’s so perfect, it must be meticulously planned. Hansen swears otherwise: “I made it up, improvising at a gig. It was very natural.”

That’s the mark of a great musician: making music that seems effortless and uncontrived, but mysteriously complex. When he performs, it’s like he’s pulling triple duty, playing two instruments and singing. But it’s also as simple as playing the piano; the left and right hands just do their jobs. Then again, it’s challenging enough to avoid playing unintentional notes with two hands; playing a stringed instrument cleanly with one hand requires a master’s disciplined precision.

Two days before this interview, Guitar World recognized Hansen’s wizardry, and the uniqueness of the crossed-neck, posting a 52-second Facebook clip of him performing part of the unreleased track, “Ein Lasht Beer.” The video, in which he plays flurries of notes with his eyes shut, is racking up the views and social shares. Naturally, he’s stoked. “It’s very exciting because I grew up reading Guitar World,” he says. “My hope is that it will expand my audience so they can hear me play some tasteful things.” CW

TERENCE HANSEN BAND

Urban Arts Festival (Gallivan Stage) The Gallivan Center 239 S. Main 801-363-2787 Sunday, Sept. 18, 1 p.m.

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THURSDAY 9.8 Andy Frasco & the U.N.

Last January, Andy Frasco & the U.N. performed at the State Room in Salt Lake City, O.P. Rockwell in Park City, and at Snowbasin’s Blues, Brews & BBQ series up in Huntsville. He reprised the latter performance at Snowbasin in July, and he’s already comin’ back to SLC. I wonder why? Well, for some reason, we Utahns love us some music that appeals to the heart and the head—and makes us think as well as laugh (see The Uninvited and their crazy Zephyr Club gigs from back in the day). Frasco is one such songsmith—a thinking pothead who seeks to inspire (see his “Afromanifesto” blog on AndyFrasco.com) while engaging in such antics as smokin’ a joint during yoga class.

If anyone knows the secret to bliss, it’s this guy, who aims to make us all, as the title of his album suggests, Happy Bastards—just like him. (Randy Harward) The Fallout, 625 S. 600 West, 9 p.m., $17-$20, TheFalloutSLC.com

FRIDAY 9.9

Volbeat, Killswitch Engage, Black Wizard

Danish band Volbeat was one of those “Where have you been all my life?” discoveries. It happened during a round of disc golf, courtesy of a friend. At first, it sounded like his jambox pumped out nu-metal dreck—this super-aggro, double Y-chromosome, meathead rock. But there were moments when I thought I detected John Bush-era Anthrax,

Andy Frasco

rockabilly, psychobilly, spaghetti westerns, Scandinavian sleaze (with faint flickers of glam) and other sounds that didn’t fit that initial snap judgement. All that stuff is there on the band’s six albums, including the newest, Seal the Deal & Let’s Boogie (Vertigo/Republic/Universal, 2016)—the first to feature Anthrax guitarist Rob Caggiano, who joined the band in 2013 (go figure).

Trust me: Volbeat is the goodness—loud, eclectic and tons of fun. With metalcore quintet Killswitch Engage and stoner-doom outfit Black Wizard filling out the bill, this one’s gonna require earplugs. (RH) The Complex, 536 W. 100 South, 6 p.m., $46.50 in advance, $51.50 day of show, TheComplexSLC.com

SUNDAY 9.11

Volbeat he vomited forth like an ugly Linda Blair.

Then, nothing until 2007, when he played the Maverik Center with Rob Zombie. I reached out to Osbourne’s publicist to see if we could get a quote about his 18-year absence, and … she says, “There is no truth to the below.” Not that it matters. This is supposedly Sabbath’s final tour—they’re even calling it The End. So let’s count ourselves lucky. Whether or not Osbourne harbored a deep and abiding distaste for Utah, he’s not gonna leave without saying goodbye. Rival Sons open. (RH) Usana Amphitheatre, 5150 S. 6055 West, 7:30 p.m., $35-$149, Usana-Amp.com »

Black Sabbath

Black Sabbath: The End

YELLOWCARD

42 | SEPTEMBER 8, 2016

NATHAN GALLAGHER

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It’s hyperbole time! The prophecy foretold that when the world’s foremost ostensibly-Satanicbut-actually-kinda-Christian band performs in a Mormon mecca on the unforgettable 11th day of the ninth month of, let’s say, 2016 ...

Damn it. Who spilled Tapatío on the papyrus?

Andrea? Great. Well, maybe it’s better that the manner of the apocalypse is a surprise.

Perhaps when they play “Fairies Wear Boots,” we’ll all turn gay and do a Jericho Pride march around the temple until it crumbles into a pile of shredded carrots and raisins. Or Ozzy just setting foot in Utah could cause that long foretold fault-line quake. Remember how, for decades, we whispered that Ozzy was boycotting Utah because of the Mormons? Or the Mormons banned importation of English metal singers whose initials spell something sexy like, “Oo?” Well, the Ozzman cameth five times between 1972 and 1989—the first time with Black Sabbath, the band from which

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Before I heard a note from Miles Nielsen, I was already a fan. I had to be; the dude—and this probably brings him as much frustration as it does pride—is the son of classic rock/ power-pop legend Cheap Trick guitarist Rick Nielsen. You’re right: It’s not fair to compare the children of music legends to their moms and pops, or even legal guardians. They have a right to be who they are, and have their work appraised on its individual merits. Miles’ music can be powerfully poppy (and even has that Beatles-esque bounce favored by Trick) and his well-crafted, earthy songs are likewise slick but rough (there’s even one referencing Japan, “Tokyo,” to Trick’s Budokan). But, unlike his five-neckguitar-wielding dad, Miles has something else going for him: the heart of a troubadour.

Whereas Cheap Trick is about arenas, Miles appears to seek a more intimate connection with his listeners, as though he’d be content playing to five scattered souls in a little dive, hoping to touch just one of them. Openers Bullets and Belles used to call Salt Lake City home—now they live in Portland. That’s fine, so long as they keep bringing that delectable “Neo Doo Wop Folk” back here a few times a year. (Bullets and Belles play the State Room

NELS AKERLUND

Miles Nielsen & the Rusted Hearts Saturday night. Tickets are $15 and the show starts at 9 p.m.) (RH) Blues, Brews & BBQs Festival at Snowbasin Resort, 3925 Snowbasin Road, Huntsville, noon-5:30 p.m., free, Snowbasin.com

MONDAY 9.12

Xenia Rubinos, Sarah Anne Degraw, Tarot Death Card

Can you conceive of a woman who embodies Billie Holiday, Jolie Holland and even a little Betty Davis? Keep dreamin’, right? Who on Earth could conjure Holiday’s smooth jazz vox, Holland’s adorable indie hipster croon and Davis’ funky swagger? Well, Brooklynbred Xenia Rubinos does—and she applies her own irresistible goofiness, sass (like when she seems to reference Frida Kahlo in the lyric, “One of these days, I’m gonna let my moustache grow back in”), multiinstrumental chops and fast-paced toastrapping. In my book, that makes her truly the stuff of dreams. Her album, Black Terry Cat (Anti-) is that fantasy come to life. (RH) The Urban Lounge, 241 S. 500 East, 8 p.m., $10, 21+, TheUrbanLoungeSLC.com

Xenia Rubinos

AMANDA PICOTTE

LIVE

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GIFT CERTIFICATES AVAILABLE at

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SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 10

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16 BEERS ON TAP

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SEPTEMBER 8, 2016 | 45

BLACK SHEEP Bar & Grill

Murrays ##1 New Tavern 4883 S State St.

JONATHAN WEINER

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 Bar | Nightclub | Music | Sports 

CHECK OUT OUR GREAT menu

LIVE Music friday, september 9

SON OF IAN

saturday, september 10

DJ LATU

join us for the holy war!

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UTAH VS BYU 5:30PM

Weeknights

nfl football nfl sunday ticket

jersey giveaways

every sunday,

monday & thursday

great food & drink specials

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5

Great food & drink special burger & Fries, amfs & long island iced teas

Thursday 9/8

monday

OUR FAMOUS OPEN BLUES JAM WITH WEST TEMPLE TAILDRAGGERS

| NEWS | A&E | DINING | CINEMA | MUSIC |

| CITY WEEKLY |

46 | SEPTEMBER 8, 2016

9/8 NFL KICK OFF PARTY Denver vs Carolina

4760 S 900 E, SLC

tuesday

LOCAL NIGHTS OUT

wednesday

THE TRIVIA FACTORY 7PM

Every sunday ADULT TRIVIA 7PM

Great food

with 7th generation

Live Music melody & the breakups

FRIDAY 9/9

the wayne hoskins band/ minx saturday 9/10

5.99 lunch special MONDAY - FRIDAY

Tuesday 9/13

10 brunch buffet

SATURDAYS FROM 11AM-2PM $

12 sunday funday brunch $3 BLOODY MARYS & $3 MIMOSAS FROM 10AM-2PM

open mic night YOU Never KNow WHO WILL SHOW UP TO PERFORM COMING SOON 9/19

jon wayne & the pain

9/28

sons of texas

31 east 400 SOuth • SLC

801-532-7441 • HOURS: 11AM - 2AM

THEGREENPIGPUB.COM

FRIDAY 9.9

Utah football 9/10 vs. Brigham Young

Pierce the Veil

It’s been 10 years since San Diego screamo-prog quartet Pierce the Veil rose from the ashes of Before Today like an angsty phoenix. Their four albums have proved that they’re one of the more worthwhile bands in the genre.

They also have a great work ethic: Instead of relaxing after a grueling tour, frontman Vic Fuentes channeled the band’s frenetic travels into songwriting. Thrumming with their signature musical restlessness, Misadventures (Fearless) is a screaming, churning warhead of overstimulated wanderlust that tackles everything from the Bataclan attack to internet trolls. The show will also feature Welsh pop-punks Neck Deep and Detroit-based metalcore band I Prevail. (Alex Springer) In the Venue, 579 W. 200 South, 6:30 p.m., $27.50 in advance, $32 day of show, InTheVenueSLC.com

Kicknitsportsgrill.com 801-448-6230 / to go orders welcome

In an effort to be the best for brunch in SLC, Rye has decided to focus on the AM hours.

Going forward Rye will be open: Monday-Friday from 9am-2pm Saturday and Sunday from 9am-3pm.

What this means for you: even more house-made breakfast and brunch specials, snappier service-same fresh, locally-sourced fixins. Come on in. www.ryeslc.com

SEPT 8: 8PM DOORS FREE SHOW

BLAQ VOID RECORDS NIGHT AZA APAULLO ON.POINT TTAMAGACHII DIEMIND YOUNGIN

CONCERTS & CLUBS

SWANS BABY DEE SEPT 10: QUIET OAKS RETURN FROM TOUR STRANGE FAMILIA

THURSDAY 9.8

SEPT 12:

SEPT 9: 8PM DOORS

$

$

TACO TUESDAYS $1 tacos & $2.50 Coronas Free Pool Wednesday’s $2.50 Drafts on Thursday’s

10/1 10/21

the lacs mushroom head

ALL SHOW TICKETS AVAILABLE AT SMITHSTIX OR AT THE ROYAL

LIVE MUSIC

Andy Frasco & the UN (The Fallout) see p. 42 Eminence Front + Dream Collage + Float The Boat + Will ‘O’ The Wisp (Kilby Court) Josh Heinrichs (The Royal) Kacey Musgraves + Sam Outlaw (Red Butte Garden) Mel Soul + Tate Sexton + Andrew Michael Dean Damron + Morgan Snow (The Hog Wallow) Peter Bradley Adams + (The State Room) Prophets of Addiction + Late Night Savior (Club X) T. Fitz (The Complex) Wiscombe (Muse Music)

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE

Jazz Jam Session (Sugar House Coffee) Reggae Thursday (The Royal) Therapy Thursdays feat. Tiger Lily (SKY)

8PM DOORS

RUMBLE GUMS

8PM DOORS

SEPT 13: 8PM DOORS FREE SHOW

XENIA RUBINOS

SARAH ANNE DEGRAW TAROT DEATH CARD

TONDA GOSSA ALBUM RELEASE 150CC CONQUER MONSTER RS2090

BAND OF SKULLS MOTHERS SEPT 15: SLUG LOCALIZED: YOUR METEOR FOREST FEATHERS SEPT 14: 8PM DOORS

8PM DOORS FREE SHOW

SEPT 16: 9PM DOORS

SEPT 17: 8PM DOORS

MORTIGI TEMPO

BASHAUN’S BIRTHDAY BASH

UNCLE ACID & THE DEADBEATS THE SHRINE DANAVA

COMING SOON Sept 18: Sept 19: Sept 21: Sept 22:

Caveman Joseph Arthur Junior Boys Crook & The Bluff Return From Tour Sept 23: Yo

Sept 24: Cass McCombs (Early Show) Sept 27: Crystal Castles Sept 28: Erasole James Sept 29: 90s Television Sept 30: Marian Hill

CONCERTS & CLUBS KARAOKE

Cowboy Karaoke (The Cabin) Karaoke (Willie’s Lounge)

FRIDAY 9.9 LIVE MUSIC

Chaseone2 (Twist) DJ Godina (Gracie’s) Dueling Pianos (The Spur) Funkin’ Friday: DJ Rude Boy + Bad Boy Brian (Johnny’s On Second)

SATURDAY 9.10 LIVE MUSIC

Abigail Williams + Crawl + Barlow + Burn Your World (Metro Bar) Bullets and Belles (The State Room) see p. 44 Butch Wolfthorn (The Royal) Foam Wonderland: Force of Nature 2016 feat. Borgeous + Brillz + Boombox Cartel (The Complex) see p. 48 Joy Spring Band (Sugar House Coffee) Kenny Holland (Velour) Live Music at the Aerie (Snowbird) N-U-Endo (Club 90) Panthermilk (Why Sound) Polyphia (Billboard—Live!)

Quiet Oaks + Strange Familia (The Urban Lounge) Rick Gerber & the Nightcaps (Johnny’s On Second) Sawyer Brown (Cherry Peak Resort) Six Feet in the Pine (Downtown Farmers Market) Spazmatics (Liquid Joe’s) Swantourage (The Red Door) Those Willows + Brother + Emily Brown (Kilby Court) Will Hoge (In the Venue)

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE DJ Latu (The Green Pig Pub) DJ Fresh One + DJ Matty Mo (Downstairs PC) DJ Sneeky Long (Twist) Miss DJ Lux (SKY)

SUNDAY 9.11 LIVE MUSIC

Black Sabbath + Rival Sons (Usana Amphitheater) see p. 42 Bonnie Raitt + Richard Thompson (Red Butte Garden) Feeki + Sik Ville + ZC3 feat. Hayde$ + The Americants (The Loading Dock) Flaw + Perish Lane + Late Night Savior + Riksha (Liquid Joe’s)

WEDNESDAY

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SEPTEMBER 8, 2016 | 47

NO COVER

2 FOR $2 WITH DRINK PURCHASE

WASATCH POKER TOUR @ 8PM BONUS: SAT @ 2PM

| CITY WEEKLY |

TACO TUESDAY & KARAOKE TUESDAY

HOLY WAR! UTAH VS BYU @ 5:30 SUNDAY&THURSDAY&SATURDAY

AT 7:00 PM FREE TO PLAY NEW PLAYERS WELCOME CHANCE TO WIN FREE PRIZES

RICK GERBER & THE NIGHTCAPS SEPTEMBER 10 @ 9PM

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DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE

NO R VE CO ER! EV

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

Brothers Brimm (Brewski’s) Foreign Figures + Brogan Kelby + The Crosswinds (Velour) Gabi + Strong Words + Choirboy (Kilby Court) Live Music at the Aerie (Snowbird) Heart Avail + All Hope Contains + Mooseknuckle + Magic Man (Barbary Coast Saloon) Mark Owens (The Westerner) My New Mistress + Indiscriminate + The Open Door Policy (Why Sound) Mudpuddle (The Spur Bar & Grill) N-U-Endo (Club 90) Pierce the Veil + Neck Deep + I Prevail (In the Venue) see p. 46 Rave Hard EDM Fest (Infinity Event Center) Red Dog Revival (The Hog Wallow) Sister Wives (Garage on Beck) Starship with Mickey Thomas (Sandy Amphitheater) Swans + Baby Dee (The Urban Lounge) see p. 38 TroyBoi (The Depot) VanLadyLove (SCERA Shell) Volbeat + Killswitch Engage + Black Wizard (The Complex) see p. 42 Wayne “The Train” Hancock + Jack Wilkinson & the Elders + Ghostowne + Opal Hill Drive (Liquid Joe’s) White Collar Caddy EP Release (Muse Music)

CITY WEEKLY’S HOT LIST FOR THE WEEK

CONCERTS & CLUBS

CD’s, 45’s, Cassettes, Turntables & Speakers

Cash Paid for Resellable Vinyl, CD’s & Stereo Equipment “UTAH’S LONGEST RUNNING INDIE RECORD STORE” SINCE 1978

TUE – FRI 11AM TO 7PM • SAT 10AM TO 6PM • CLOSED SUN & MON LIKE US ON OR VISIT WWW.RANDYSRECORDS.COM • 801.532.4413

SATURDAY 9.10

Foam Wonderland: Force of Nature 2016 feat. Borgeous, Brillz, Boombox Cartel

Monday @ 8pm

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

breaking bingo

For those who feel like taking a long shower after spending all night writhing around in the sweat and flesh of a packed dance floor, a Foam Wonderland show has you covered. The show uses gigantic pipes to douse the audience in a torrent of soap suds, making everyone in attendance feel like they’re sharing the same bubble bath.

While the promise of getting blasted with foamy bubbles is a good excuse to go anywhere, Foam Wonderland will also feature some of the country’s finest DJs, including Borgeous, Brillz and Boombox Cartel. There’s nothing quite like getting all slippery while grinding up in some stranger’s business. (AS) The Complex, 536 W. 100 South, 7 p.m., $25-$30 in advance, $35 day of show, 18+, TheComplexSLC.com Irish Session Folks (Sugar House Coffee) Luis Coronel (Utah State Fairpark) Live Jazz Brunch (Club 90) Live Bluegrass (Club 90) Miles Nielsen & the Rusted Hearts (Snowbasin) see p. 44

MONDAY 9.12

| NEWS | A&E | DINING | CINEMA | MUSIC |

wednesdays @ 8pm

LIVE MUSIC

geeks who drink

Kaz Mirblouk + Primitive Programme + Beachmen (Kilby Court) Stick To Your Guns + Stray From The Path + Expire + Knocked Loose (The Complex) Xenia Rubinos + Sarah Anne Degraw + Tarot Death Card (The Urban Lounge) see p. 44

live music sunday afternoons &evenings

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE

2021 s. windsor st. (west of 900 east)

801.484.6692 I slctaproom.com

Jazz, Blues and Rock ‘n’ Roll Jam (Twist) Open Blues Jam (The Green Pig Pub) Monday Night Blues Jam (The Royal)

TUESDAY 9.13

Conquer Monster + RS2090 (The Urban Lounge)

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE Open Mic (The Royal)

WEDNESDAY 9.14 LIVE MUSIC

Act of Defiance + Hatchet + A Balance of Power + DiseNgaged (Metro Bar) Band of Skulls + Mothers (Urban Lounge) Blitzen Trapper + Kacy & Clayton (The State Room) Furnsss + Bread Pilot (Diabolical Records) Goo Goo Dolls + (Red Butte Garden) Gringo Star + The Boys Ranch + Lady Jazz at the 90 (Club 90) Live Music at the Aerie (Snowbird) Teeth (Kilby Court)

DJ, OPEN MIC, SESSION, PIANO LOUNGE DJ Birdman (Twist) DJ Kurtis Strange (Willie’s Lounge)

LIVE MUSIC

| CITY WEEKLY |

48 | SEPTEMBER 8, 2016

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DRIVERS WANTED

City Weekly is looking for a Driver for:

Drivers must use their own vehicle, be available Wed. & Thur.

Those interested please contact Larry Carter: 801-575-7003

SEPTEMBER 8, 2016 | 49

Magna / West Valley West Jordan / Herriman

Š 2016

BICOASTAL

BY DAVID LEVINSON WILK

ACROSS

1. Island dance 2. "Quickly!"

3. Polite acceptance 4. CPR giver 5. Aug. follower 6. Cubs legend Banks 7. Like some eclipses

50. Bonet and Kudrow 51. Make ____ for (justify) 52. Puff piece?

53. Compadre 54. Sped 58. Big fat lyre?

59. O'Neill's "Desire Under the ____" 61. Boycott 62. Casino convenience 63. Moo ____ pork

Last week’s answers

No math is involved. The grid has numbers, but nothing has to add up to anything else. Solve the puzzle with reasoning and logic. Solving time is typically 10 to 30 minutes, depending on your skill and experience.

DOWN

8. Lock unlocker 9. Microsoft's Age of Empires, e.g.

10. Popular 7-11 drink 11. Israeli port 12. "As You Like It" forest 13. Friend of Buzz in "Toy Story" 18. Make ____ meet 22. Julie of "Modern Family" 24. Alternative to Gmail 25. Hon 26. Christmas tree hangings 27. Had creditors 28. Quick, in trade names 31. Something with x and y axes 32. Condition affecting TV's Monk, informally 34. What you can't beat, in a saying 35. Scotch ____ 36. "Look ____ now!"

39. Up 40. Start of a pirate's chant 43. Leave 46. "Seduction of the Minotaur" author 48. Rap stars often have them 49. 1847 Melville work

Complete the grid so that each row, column, diagonal and 3x3 square contain all of the numbers 1 to 9.

1. First president to have a telephone in the White House 6. Antlered animal 9. "Fiddle-faddle!"

14. "I'm at your disposal" 15. Regret 16. Mild cigar 17. What a broke person is down to 19. Roberto Benigni's Oscar-winning role in "Life Is Beautiful" 20. Words With Friends, e.g.

21. Actress Long of "Boyz N the Hood" 22. Vomited 23. Firehouse designation 27. Former chocolaty Post cereal 29. Bide-___ 30. Start of the "Yellow Submarine" chorus 31. Departed 33. James who sang "At Last" 37. Newsroom workers, for short 38. Grand or petty crime 41. Fashion item always found in midManhattan?

42. Cut down on calories 44. Boys 45. Common lunch hr.

47. Each 49. "THAT makes sense ..."

50. Discord 55. Least welcoming 56. "A revolution is not a dinner party" writer 57. "There ____ is, Miss America" 60. Some palms 61. Like someone who divides their time between the extremes of 17-, 23-, 38- and 50-Across 64. "Have ____ trip!"

65. Ripen 66. Heat unit 67. Feudal laborers 68. Wink's partner 69. Along with measles and rubella, what an MMR vaccine prevents

SUDOKU

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

| NEWS | A&E | DINING | CINEMA | MUSIC |

| CITY WEEKLY |

50 | SEPTEMBER 8, 2016

CROSSWORD PUZZLE

INSIDE:

COMMUNITY BEAT PG. 51 INK PG. 52 UTAH JOB CENTER PG. 51

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY PG. 53 POETS CORNER PG. 55 URBAN LIVING PG. 54

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there,” Dane says. “There’s nothing like being out there.”

In addition to monitoring bird populations, the organization provides educational opportunities here along the Wasatch Front. Once migration season comes to a close in November, HawkWatch shuts down monitoring sites, shrinks its staff and focuses its efforts on local education and outreach. It has seven birds that are taken to schools and community centers for events. “We reach about 30,000 people here in Utah every year,” Dane estimates.

Despite having a small staff, he says, he’s proud of how effective their work has been.

“We do a lot of projects with very little overhead and rely on a large corps of volunteers,” he says. “The volunteers help us collect data, more than we’d be able to get by ourselves.”

More than 100 citizen-science volunteers join the team every year, studying conservation issues and then spreading awareness through various events and campaigns. “We love our volunteers,” Dane finalizes. “It’s a tight-knit family.” n

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ALL EVENTS ARE FREE AND OPEN TO THE PUBLIC

SEPTEMBER 8, 2016 | 51

MASSAGE

BY PAUL

meeting with Lidia Yuknavitch Tuesday, September 13th 7 P.M. at the King’s English Bookshop

| COMMUNITY |

Man to Man Massage

HIVEMIND

| CITYWEEKLY.NET |

There’s more than just fall leaves and hot cocoa around the corner—waning summer days means birds all over North America are soon heading south for the winter. If you’re interested in hawks, kestrels, falcons and other raptors, check out HawkWatch International—a conser vation organization that works to protect raptors and our shared environment through public education, scientific research and long-term monitoring. This year, the group celebrates its 30th anniversar y.

“I love being a part of something that protects and preserves the outdoors,” Development and Marketing Director Joseph Dane says. Having worked with the organization a little more than four years, Dane loves seeing people get involved in birding, especially younger groups. He says it is one of the fastest growing interests in the country.

Founder Steve Hoffman started the program to monitor populations along migration routes. Because raptors are so dispersed during the spring, the most efficient way to study them is to set up monitors along migration sites—“bird highways,” Dane calls them—so they can be tracked along their southern migration. From August through November, HawkWatch has eight monitoring sites throughout the West, counting every bird that is flying south. Staff members check to see which species are doing well and which ones are struggling, and work with state and federal agencies to put conservation plans into place.

Based in Salt Lake City, it has monitoring sites as far north as Canada and into South America. U.S. sites include Nevada, Arizona and Texas. “They’re all a little remote, but we encourage people to go out

COURTESY HAWKWATCH INTERNATIONAL

For the Birds

Waxing for everyBODY

READING THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 15TH 7 P.M. FOLLOWED BY Q&A FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 16TH 12 P.M. BOTH EVENTS AT FINCH LANE GALLERY

| COMMUNITY | | CITYWEEKLY.NET |

52 | SEPTEMBER 8, 2016

CONTACT US NOW TO PLACE YOUR RECRUITMENT ADS 801-413-0947 or JSMITH@CITYWEEKLY.NET For more Employment Opportunities, go online to www.utahjobcenter.com

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HIRING THIS WEEK Senior Software Engineer @ Dealertrack Systems, Inc. (South Jordan, UT) F/T. Maintain & enhance softwr apps. Design & develop progrming systms making specific determinations about systm perfrmnce. Conduct systm analysis & devlpmnt. Analyze, design, coordinate & supervise devlpmnt of softwr systms to form basis for soltn of info procssing problms. Reqts: Bachelor’s degree (or foreign equiv) in CompSci, CompApps, CompEnginring, or reltd followed by 5 yrs of progressively resp exp in job offrd, as Delivery Module Lead or reltd. Exp must include: SQL and PLSQL; Oracle and DB2; UNIX Shell Scripting; Agile & Water Fall; Windows and Linux platforms; Java; TOAD; ERWIN; Autosys; and SubVersion. Employer will accept any suitable combo of eductn, training or exp.To apply, send res & cvr ltr to A. Stoddard, Dealertrack Systems, Inc., 10757 S. River Front Parkway, South Jordan, UT 84095.

Indicate job title & specify ref code: PK-UT. EOE.

PART TIME

HOT-NEW SALON BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY! 480 on Sixth is looking for positive, professional, licensed in the state of Utah, successful, full-time stylists.

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Apply online

www.guitarcenterinc.com/pages/careers in person at 180 West Election Rd, Draper UT 84020 or email resume to rbrown@musiciansfriend.com

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Immigration

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B R E Z S N Y

Go to RealAstrology.com for Rob Brezsny’s expanded weekly audio horoscopes and daily text-message horoscopes.

Audio horoscopes also available by phone at 877-873-4888 or 900-950-7700.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) Is “Big Bang” the best term we can come up with to reference the beginning of the universe? It sounds violent and messy—like a random, accidental splatter. I would much prefer a term that suggests sublime elegance and playful power—language that would capture the awe and reverence I feel as I contemplate the sacred mystery we are privileged to inhabit. What if we used a different name for the birth of creation, like the “Primal Billow” or the “Blooming Ha Ha” or the “Majestic Bouquet”? By the way, I recommend that you consider those last three terms as being suitable titles for your own personal life story in the coming weeks. A great awakening and activation are imminent.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) The last few weeks have been fraught with rich plot twists, naked dates with destiny and fertile turning points. I expect there will be further intrigue in the near future. A fierce and tender decision at a crossroads? The unexpected arrival of a hot link to the future? A karmic debt that’s canceled or forgiven? In light of the likelihood that the sweet-and-sour, confusing-and-revelatory drama will continue, I encourage you to keep your levels of relaxed intensity turned up high. More than I’ve seen in a long time, you have the magic and the opportunity to transform what needs to be transformed.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) In the coming days, you will have more than your usual access to help and guidance. Divine interventions are possible. Special dispensations and charmed coincidences, too. If you don’t believe in fairy dust, magic beans, and lucky potions, maybe you should set that prejudice aside for a while. Subtle miracles are more likely to bestow their gifts if your reasonable theories don’t get in the way.

Here’s an additional tip: Don’t get greedy. Use the openings you’re offered with humility and gratitude.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) When my daughter Zoe was growing up, I wanted her to be familiar with the origins of ordinary stuff that she benefited from. That’s why I took her to small farms where she could observe the growth and harvest of organic food crops. We visited manufacturing facilities where cars, furniture, toys and kitchen sinks were built. She saw bootmakers creating boots and professional musicians producing songs in recording studios. And much more. I would love it if you would give yourself comparable experiences in the coming weeks, Sagittarius. It’s an excellent time to commune with the sources of things that nurture you and make your life better.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) Unless you were brought up by a herd of feral donkeys, the coming weeks will be an excellent time to embark on your second childhood. Unless you’re allergic to new ideas, the foreseeable future will bring you strokes of curious luck that inspire you to change and change and change your mind. And unless you are addicted to your same old stale comforts, life will offer you chances to explore frontiers that could expose you to thrilling new comforts.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) These days, my dear, your eccentric beauty is even more unkempt than usual. I like it. It entertains and charms me. And as for your idiosyncratic intelligence: That, too, is messier and cuter and even more interesting than ever before. I’m inclined to encourage you to milk this unruly streak for all its potential. Maybe it will provoke you to experiment in situations where you’ve been too accepting of the stagnant status quo. And perhaps it will embolden you to look for love and money in more of the right places.

other hand I’m completely serious. From my perspective, it’s essential that you feel really good in the coming days. Abundant pleasure is not merely a luxury, but rather a necessity. Do you have any ideas about how to make this happen? Start here: 1.

Identify your four most delightful memories, and re-enact them in your imagination. 2. Go see the people whose influences most thoroughly animate your self-love.

ARIES (March 21-April 19) Two 7-year-old girls showed me three tricks I could use to avoid taking myself too seriously and getting too attached to my dignity. I’m offering these tricks to you just in time for the letting-go phase of your astrological cycle. Trick No. 1: Speak in a made-up language for at least ten minutes. Example: “Groftyp hulbnu wivgeeri proot xud amasterulius. Quoshibojor frovid zemplissit.” Trick No. 2: Put a different kind of shoe and sock on each foot and pretend you’re two people stuck in a single body. Give each side of you a unique nickname. Trick No. 3: Place an unopened bag of barbecue-flavored potato chips on a table, then bash your fist down on it, detonating a loud popping sound and unleashing a spray of crumbs out the ends of the bag. Don’t clean up the mess for at least an hour.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20) In accordance with the astrological omens, I suggest you spend less energy dwelling in profane time so you expand your relationship with sacred time. If that’s of interest to you, consider the following definitions. Profane Time happens when you’re engulfed in the daily grind. Swarmed by a relentless flurry of immediate concerns, you are held hostage by the chatter of your monkey mind. Being in Sacred Time attunes you to the relaxing hum of eternity. It enables you to be in intimate contact with your soul’s deeper agenda, and affords you extra power to transform yourself in harmony with your noble desires and beautiful intentions.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20) About 1.7 million years ago, our human ancestors began using primitive hand axes made from rocks. This technology remained in use for over 60,000 generations before anyone invented more sophisticated tools and implements. Science writer Marcus Chown refers to this period as “the million years of boredom.” Its slow pace contrasts sharply with technology’s brisk evolution in the last 140 years. In 1880, there were no cars, planes, electric lights, telephones, TVs or internet. I surmise that you’re leaving your own phase of relatively slow progress, Gemini. In the coming months, I expect your transformations will progress with increasing speed—starting soon.

CANCER (June 21-July 22) Prediction No. 1: You will attract truckloads of good luck by working to upgrade and refine the way you communicate.

Prediction No. 2: You will tickle the attention of interesting people who could ultimately provide you with clues you will need to thrive in 2017. No. 3: You will discover secrets of how to articulate complicated feelings and subtle ideas that have been locked inside you. Prediction No. 4: You’ll begin a vibrant conversation that will continue to evolve for a long time.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) You know you have a second brain in your gut, right? (If not, read this: Bit.ly/SecondBrain.) During the past three weeks, I have been beaming telepathic instructions toward this smart part of you. Here’s an edited version of the message I’ve been sending: “Cultivate your tenacity, darling. Build up your stamina, sweetheart. Feed your ability to follow through on what you’ve started, beautiful. Be persistent and spunky and gritty, my PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20) I’m giving you an ultimatum, Pisces: Within the next 144 hours, dear.” Alas, I’m not sure my psychic broadcasts have been as I demand that you become at least 33 percent happier. Fifty effective as I’d hoped. I think you need further encouragepercent would be even better. Somehow you’ve got to figure ment. So please summon more fortitude and staying power, out what you can do to enhance your sense of well-being and you gutsy stalwart. Be staunch and dogged and resolute, you increase your enjoyment of life. I’m sort of joking, but on the stouthearted powerhouse.

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Water Water

The NSA Utah Data Center (aka Intelligence Community Comprehensive National Cybersecurity Initiative Data Center) has received little press since it opened in 2014. The sleepy little burb of Bluffdale at the southwest end of the Salt Lake Valley cut a really generous deal on water rates to woo them here, despite the fact we live in a desert and have been in a drought for years. When it finally opened, we Utahns were already known as one of the states with the highest water usage per capita, so letting the NSA have copious amounts of water per day to cool the spy computers just added to our sad award of bad consumerism. Last year, The Salt Lake Tribune reported that the data center used 6.6 million gallons of the precious liquid during August, paying an average monthly bill of $36,417.

Bluffdale City, all wiggly and happy like a puppy with a new ball, built a $3 million water-delivery system for the center to secure its plans to build in their fair city.

And now, Facebook is throwing carrots out to politicos to see if we’ll take the bait once again, and give up even more water to have the social media giant move in next door. Bizjournals.com reports that Facebook’s data center campus in North Carolina used 33 million gallons of water in 2015, while the Pineville, Ore., campus went through 18 million gallons.

As an aside, isn’t it interesting that Facebook wants to open a data-collection center right next to the NSA’s in our fine valley? Is anyone else a bit skeptical that our perky, free social media service, with all our personal data, wants to be located next door to the biggest spy center in the U.S.?

That our daily photos, clicks, rants, raves and check-ins are so easily accessible to a federal government agency’s spies and data specialists? Meh, look at me being all conspiratorial.

The Facebook deal isn’t set in stone yet, but the money it would bring is enticing (to say the least), as is the ability to say, “Hey, we’ve got Facebook here!” For sure, jobs would be created, and employees would need to eat and shop and sleep somewhere, so business would flourish. And if it’s not FB, then someone else likely will want to nuzzle up to the NSA. Sadly, the new folks might not be able to take baths or water their lawns for long because, with two behemoths cooling bazillions of computer chips, we’ll run out of H 2O faster than we can scream, “SAVE OUR WATER!” n

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STYLISTS

Content is prepared expressly for Community and is not endorsed by City Weekly staff.

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