City Weekly December 4, 2025

CITY WEEKLY

BY MICHAEL DEAN MCGRADY, JR.

‘FRATRIARCHY’ FACING

By Michael Dean McGrady, Jr.

SLC FORECAST

S AP

BOX

MAGA Before MAGA

Western civilization has seen the MAGA movement before, with its systematic discrimination based on financial power, illegitimate uses of political power, faulty science, religious chauvinism, racism and sexism.

In the Middle East today, Israel uses a biblical “chosen people” ideology to discriminate against and make perpetual war against Palestinians.

Some decades ago in South Africa, MAGA was known as apartheid, which was based on white supremacy. Ameri-

can MAGA is taking the same approach against brown-skinned Hispanics today.

During World War II, MAGA was manifested in the Japanese internment camps in America and in the ethnic cleansing of Jews in Germany.

At the turn of the 20th century in America, MAGA sexist discriminatory thinking was responsible for spawning the Women’s Voting Rights movement.

In the late 1800s, MAGA was defined by “Robber Baron” monopolism and antiunionism.

In the post-Civil War south, MAGA law knew a complementary system called Jim Crow law, limiting Black civil rights relating to property and education.

In early American history, MAGA was called “Manifest Destiny,” which was used to isolate Native Americans on the reservation.

Today, MAGA is trashing scientific evidence and due process in public affairs based on racist, sexist, and force-based impulses like these earlier ones in history.

KIMBALL SHINKOSKEY Woods Cross

“After Parties,” Nov. 27 Cover Story

Out of the clubs and into the streets! We rally.

PORKFRYDRICE Via Instagram

If there was a shared goal for safety, the Salt Lake City government would further investigate clubs like SKY SLC, where myself and others have been assaulted by their in-house security team.

A simple Google search for “Sky slc assault” brings you to an edm.com article about an assault that happened a year and a half before what happened to me.

Check Sky SLC’s 1- and 2-star reviews on Google, Facebook and Yelp—it’s all there.

Again, I wonder why they keep getting away with putting their hands on women and why everyone continues to look the other way, just because they care about partying and guestlists.

It’s truly shameful.

XOSTAREYES Via Instagram

“Pedal

to the Metal,” Nov. 19 Online

This is the worst SLC-related news I have heard in quite a while—what a sellout. We prefer SLC to be safe for all, not a car sewer hell like Utah County. State overreach on SB195 was absurd.

RYAN BETZ Via Facebook

Good. Can we stop building these stupid bike lanes and bus lanes downtown? The amount of accidents and dangerous situations that have occurred because of them is insane.

BRENDAN CONNERTON Via Facebook

Can Salt Lake City please get a new mayor?

CARA GREENWELL Via Facebook

Care to sound off on a feature in our pages or about a local concern? Write to comments@ cityweekly.net or post your thoughts on our social media. We want to hear from you!

THE WATER COOLER

Describe the rest of your life in 5 words

Eric Granato

Abundance; love; security; regimented; and open.

Wes Long

Ever learning, many loved ones.

Carolyn Campbell

Hopefully, I’ll still be writing.

Bryan Bale

Perpetually in debt. Forever alone.

Kayla Dreher

Oh my god. Don’t know.

Pete Saltas

Didn’t you see The Terminator?

Grace X. Maya

Alternative to suffering is boredom.

John Saltas

Too late to start over.

Zach Abend

Still following cryptids for quotes.

Elizabeth Converse Green; adventurous; beautiful; scary; worthwhile.

Benjamin Wood Connoisseur of all things interesting.

BY CHRISTOPHER SMART

OPINION Affordability?

We’re screwed.

Hey, shut up. Things are affordable. Really. They’re more affordable now that Donald Trump is president. If they aren’t, it’s Joe Biden’s fault.

The price of groceries is down. And green cheese is on sale on the moon. (The Washington Post reports that the price of food is up as much as 36% since 2020.)

It’s like this, Wilson, there’s this thing called “spending power.” It takes into account both prices and wages. Duh.

According to the Economic Policy Institute, if pay for typical workers had kept pace with productivity over the last 45 years, paychecks would be about 40% larger today. No Wilson, it’s no accident. Employers have systematically kept wages down so managers and owners can take a larger share of profits.

Congress and other policymakers have been oh so helpful, too. The minimum wage has eroded and workers’ rights to organize have been impeded, according to economist Heidi Shierholz. “Research consistently finds that voters blame inflation on government policy but take personal responsibility for what happens to their wages—good or bad.”

That’s backward. In his 2004 book, What’s the Matter with Kansas? How Conservatives Won the Heart of America, Thomas Frank revealed that Americans voted against their own economic interests when their attention was captured by culture-war issues. Just keep voting Republican.

Trump to Female Reporter: “You Stupid Person”

If you’re a woman news reporter, correcting Donald Trump may get you a misogynistic tongue lashing.

In the wake of the shooting of two members of the National Guard in Washington, D.C., Trump lashed out at the Biden administration for allowing the suspect, an Afghan national, asylum in the U.S. He was actually granted asylum in April.

NewsNation reporter Libbey Dean, citing a June report from the Inspector General’s Office, said the suspect—who had worked for the CIA in Afghanistan—had been thoroughly vetted by the DHS and FBI. Trump didn’t like that: “Are you stupid? Are you a stupid person?” Trump demanded. “Because they came in on a plane, along with thousands of other people that shouldn’t be here, and you’re just asking questions, because you’re a stupid person.”

A week earlier, Trump put down Catherine Lucey, a Bloomberg reporter, who tried to ask him about the Epstein files: “Quiet piggy.”

Also last month, Trump posted that New York Times reporter Katie Rogers is “ugly, both inside and out.” He was reacting to a story about the 79-year-old president showing signs of aging and fatigue.

White House spokeswoman Karoline Leavitt explained Trump’s behavior this way: “The president is very frank and honest with everyone in the room.”

Just call him Honest Don.

D.C. Taco Bell Run: On Your Mark, Get Set, Eat!

No Wilson, this is not a Thanksgiving story. Nope, it’s about the first-ever Taco Bell D.C. 50K, where runners had to stop at nine Taco Bell restaurants along a 32-mile route through the District of Columbia and eat something from the menu at each place.

According to The Washington Post, vomiting during the race was allowed but Pepto-Bismol, Alka-Seltzer and Mylanta were strictly verboten.

There were other rules, too: By the fourth Taco Bell stop, entrants must have eaten a Chalupa Supreme (340 calories) or a Crunch Wrap Supreme (530 calories). By the eighth stop, they must have downed a Burrito Supreme (390 calories) or Nachos Bell Grande (740 calories).

Entrants had up to 11 hours to complete the race. Receipts were required at the finish line. You’re right, Wilson, it’s enough to make you sick just thinking about it.

Of the 1,000 or so participants who signed up, 429 actually finished. A long-time competitive runner, 43-year-old Mike Smith, came in first with a time of 4 hours, 12 minutes and 35 seconds.

The race was the brainchild of Phil Hargis, 54, and Mike Wardian, 51, who modeled it after the Denver Taco Bell 50K (they have no formal connection to Taco Bell). There are 8,165 Taco Bell locations in 3,617 towns and cities.

Taco Bell is owed by Yum! Brands, Inc., a spinoff of PepsiCo that also owns KFC and Pizza Hut. In 2024, it had a net income of $1.49 billion.

Postscript—That’s going to do it for another fun-filled week here at Smart Bomb, where our crack staff keeps track of Trump’s war on drugs so you don’t have to.

Let’s see—anyone coming out of Venezuela on a boat should be obliterated, ‘cause they’re all part of narco-terrorist cabals that are sending a flood of fentanyl into our country. We know this how? Don’t ask.

So far, 80 killed and counting, raising the specter of illegal killings and war crimes.

Meanwhile, back in the big leagues, Trump pardoned Juan Orlando Hernández, the former president of Honduras who was serving a 45-year sentence for trafficking some 400 tons of cocaine into the U.S. WTF? The targeting of small boats, of course, has little to do with drug trafficking, but is meant to put the squeeze on Venezuelan strongman Nicolás Maduro.

It seems Trump has finally found an authoritarian he doesn’t like.

The U.S. has now stationed 11 warships with more than 70 aircraft in the waters near Venezuela. Some 2,200 Marines are on standby in the area, as well. That’s some kind of saber-rattling.

In a late-night rant, Trump declared airspace over Venezuela off limits—something he has no authority to do. The “Gulf of Tonkin Resolution” and “Weapons of Mass Destruction”—lead-ups to our wars in Vietnam and Iraq— come to mind. The writing is on the wall. CW

Private Eye is off this week. Christopher Smart writes the weekly “Smart Bomb” column, available online at cityweekly.net

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HITS & MISSES

BY KATHARINE BIELE

MISS: Americans First

Foreigners are not welcome here—unless they are rich. We can only begin to grasp the depths of reasoning as the Trump administration applies its America First agenda to national parks. Non-U.S. residents will not only have to view the handsome visage of our president, but also will need to fork out three times the normal rate for a park pass. It’s only right as the country pursues its back-to-the-future, white-Christians-only path to making America “great” again. The president will graciously provide fee-free park days—one on his birthday, of course. But those foreigners will have to pay their “fair share” to keep up the parks. Will it deter international visitors? Who knows. But park rangers may now be charged with verifying citizenship at the ticket kiosk. It turns “our nation’s public lands into a ‘pay-to-play’ system—benefitting the wealthy and privileged at the expense of our most vulnerable populations,” according to an Instagram post from a California state program manager. “Money, money, money, it’s a rich man’s world.”

HIT: Paint Job

Salt Lake’s 9th & 9th whale—Out of the Blue—has been turning heads since the beginning. Why a whale? Why there? Why the rainbow colors? And now the whale is back in the public eye as the city seeks a new mural artist with a funky vision for the sculpture’s next phase. It’s been a hit since artist Mike Murdock debuted the original color scheme in 2022, but the whale was always meant to have a changing canvas. Commenters on the Deseret News website were alternately excited and wary. One named “2 bits” insisted that no one outside the area cares about the sculpture and that the neighborhood itself should fund its upkeep. If that were true, public art would be a thing of the past, as many neighborhoods could not afford such whimsy. Critics should know the definition of “public,” and what the Association for Public Art says: “Public art is a part of our public history, part of our evolving culture and our collective memory.”

MISS: What’s in a Name?

Whoo-boy! The 2034 Olympics logo— transitional as it may be—has sparked a massive satirical response. KSL News Radio garnered 1,200 comments. “Good luck to those around the world whose first language isn’t English;” “They decided to use the font from the Extraterrestrial Highway;” and “This must be the Reformed Egyptian.” The governor even commented that Utahns were at last unified in their dislike of the logo, which supposedly was meant to depict the shapes of red rock formations and ski tracks. OK, that belies the reasoning behind moving the name from the city of Salt Lake to the state of Utah. But we have to include everyone, right? Mayor Erin Mendenhall was pained by the decision and suspects it was meant to punish the capital city. Sounds likely. CW

Holly Jolly SLC

For our family, every season downtown brings with it a particular charm. Spring exudes that postwinter energy, with people eager to gather outside again. Summer is full of food, music and late nights. Fall is slower and feels like a collective winding down in preparation for the indoor season. But make no mistake—the holiday season is where downtown literally and figuratively shines.

For the Merrill Family, the holiday season includes traditions that are common to many within the region: perusing the Christmas lights at Temple Square; attending Ballet West’s production of The Nutcracker; singing along with the Lower Lights Christmas Concert; and, of course, window shopping at Trolley Square, Gateway and City Creek.

Our most cherished traditions, however, include some events that are less known to those outside the downtown community. I’d like to share just a handful of examples here.

Every year, an American Towers neighbor—and locally renowned organist—hosts a sing-along, where people of all faiths and backgrounds join to sing new and familiar carols. Many of us attend the Christmas Eve Mass at the Cathedral of the Madeleine, where we are blessed to hear some of the most hauntingly beautiful chorale and organ performances around.

Another much-anticipated American Towers tradition is our buildingwide progressive dinner, where we divide everyone into groups that rotate through a three-course meal at individual neighbors’ homes. Each course sends the groups to a different unit with wildly different decor, company and cuisines.

A newer tradition is patronizing the increasingly charming Gallivan Center, where weekly live music performances, daily ice skating and a growing collection of winter lights make this a mustvisit of the holiday season.

And a tradition we are eager to begin is visiting the Saturday Winter Market at the Salt Lake City Civic Center (formerly the Leonardo museum). We are hopeful this will give us more opportunities to support local artists and creatives in our holiday gift-giving.

Of course, all of these events are fully accessible via Trax, bus or a short walk from our home—or in our very building!—which eliminates a lot of the stress associated with winter travel, traffic and parking. These family walks to downtown events give us opportunities to discover new stores and restaurants, or to run into friends and family on the street, which is truly the best part of the whole season.

Finally, my favorite tradition of the downtown holiday season is an experience unfortunately limited to the four walls of our family’s little high-rise home. It’s the nightly moments when I can both see and hear the holiday hustle and bustle just outside our windows, on Main Street below.

It’s a reminder of why we chose to live downtown. CW

| @kathybiele BY TOM MERRILL

New Christmas Movies 2025

We may be in the holiday homestretch, but there are still cheese-tastic flicks on the way.

BY BILL FROST comments@cityweekly.net

’Tis the season for those cheesy, predictable holiday TV movies that can’t be avoided during the Christmas rush. While none of this year’s crop has generated the buzz of 2024’s Hot Frosty (how do you top a snowman come to life as a rock-abbed Chippendales dancer?), there are still a few so-bad-yet-so-good festive flicks arriving before Dec. 25. Relax, it’ll all be over before you sober up.

My Secret Santa (Premieres Wednesday, Dec. 3; Netflix): A broke single mom (Virgin River’s Alexandra Breckenridge) pretends to be a man in order to land a Santa gig at a ski resort, which somehow doesn’t lead to a 24/7 “War on Christmas” gender-politics meltdown at Fox News. But when she falls for the resort hotel’s dreamy manager (New Amsterdam’s Ryan Eggold), will she compromise her secret? Or does her crush have a Claus kink that could work out for everyone here? You’d better watch out … Oh. What. Fun. (Premieres Wednesday, Dec. 3; Prime Video): Amazon rolls out one budget-buster Christmas movie a year, and the snarkily punctuated Oh. What. Fun. apparently spent big on casting: Michelle Pfeiffer, Felicity Jones, Chloë Grace Moretz, Denis Leary, Jason Schwartzman and Eva Longoria star in what’s essentially a reverse Home Alone that celebrates every

family’s perfectionist holiday homemaker (in this case, Pfeiffer). The flick lives up to the Fun. part, especially Longoria’s Oprah cosplay as Zazzy Tims.

Do You Fear What I Fear (Premieres Thursday, Dec. 4; Lifetime Movie Network): Leave it to the Lifetime Movie Network to reframe a low-key stalker story as a Christmas meet-cute. Just when smalltown woman Claire (Ciara Hanna) is settled in the big city, mysterious Christmas decorations start appearing in her apartment, each with creepily detailed, intimate messages about her. It could be her hunky new neighbor, it could be her obsessed ex, or it could be a holly-jolly murderer because what the hell, LMN?

She’s Making a List (Premieres Saturday, Dec. 6; Hallmark Channel): Santa has outsourced his annual Christmas list to the Naughty or Nice Group consulting firm, so now it’s up to inspector Isabel (Hallmark movie staple Lacey Chabert) to sepa-

rate the good kids from the bad based on holiday algorithms. But, just when she’s ready to pull the “naughty” trigger on a troublesome tyke, she develops the feels for his suspiciously widowed dad. Careful, Isabel—this could end worse than Do You Fear What I Fear. Christmas in Alaska (Premieres Wednesday, Dec. 12; Lifetime): After their plane is downed in Alaska, a pair of rival journalists (Emma Johnson and Marcus Rosner) who are competing for the same big-money promotion find unexpected romance in a Christmas-y wonderland. This is unmistakably a fantasy tale, as there’s no such thing as lucrative advancement in journalism (or so I’ve heard). Also, what’s the big story they were chasing in Alaska? A destitute woman posing as a male Santa due to failing Trumponomics?

Have We Met This Christmas? (Premieres Thursday, Dec. 13; GAF): When a real estate developer (Danica McKellar) suffers

amnesia from a car accident, she winds up at a secluded mountain lodge, where she falls in love with a flannel-shirted himbo (Jesse Hutch). Also, said lodge is in danger of being razed by a cold-hearted real estate developer who’s mysteriously gone missing. Convenient amnesia and a cozy inn that needs saving? Two classic holiday flick boxes checked, and not a single stalker/murderer in sight.

A Pickleball Christmas (Premieres Thursday, Dec. 20; Lifetime): A champion tennis player (James Lafferty) returns home to Florida for Christmas and learns that his family’s racquet club is about to be sold away—holy 1-percenter problems! Naturally, he teams up with the inexplicably single resident coach (Zibby Allen) to compete in a high-stakes, winner-takesall pickleball tournament to save the club. As you’d suspect, a sequel is already in the works for next year: A Pickleball Christmas 2: Dink the Halls. CW

My

Nate Bargatze: Big Dumb Eyes Tour

You never know how long it might take to become an overnight sensation. Nate Bargatze, for example, was 15 years into his career as a stand-up comedian when he made an indelible impression with his set in the Netflix compilation special The Standups with a routine including some now-legendary bits involving a shady reptile showcase and the inability of a barista to understand his preferred coffee order. Several other successful comedy specials have followed—including his most recent Netflix set, Your Friend, Nate Bargatze—and in 2024, Bargatze was the most successful touring standup comedian in America in terms of tickets sold. Beyond that, though, Bargatze has become something of a “brand.” His Nateland website/production banner has supported other performers in his same clean-comedy vein; he’s become well-known for a pair of viral Saturday Night Live hosting gigs, particularly his recurring role as a historical George Washington with a visionary perspective on the peculiarities of our American present; he landed a book on the New York Times bestseller list with his part-autobiographical/part-observational comedy memoir Big Dumb Eyes. He even got the job hosting the Prime Time Emmy Awards ceremony this year. That’s pretty rare air for the self-effacing guy from Old Hickory, Tennessee.

Nate Bargatze brings his Big Dumb Eyes tour to the Delta Center (301 W. South Temple) for four shows, Dec. 4 – 6 at 7 p.m. plus an additional 3 p.m. matinee on Dec. 6. Tickets are $44 - $308. Visit deltacenter.com to purchase tickets and for additional event information. (Scott Renshaw)

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Ballet West: The Nutcracker

William Christensen’s celebrated choreography of Tchaikovsky’s The Nutcracker has become a generationsspanning tradition for Ballet West and for families throughout Utah, yet it’s still easy to lose track of how significant it is. The company has received multiple invitations to perform the production at the Kennedy Center; the show has even been designated a “living historic landmark” by the state of Utah, the first ever such honor for a ballet. (On the national stage, as well.)

Those are quite remarkable achievements to consider upon the show’s return to delight local audiences for the 2025 holiday season, but they’re well-deserved honors for America’s longest-running Nutcracker production. The beloved story—based on E.T.A. Hoffmann’s 1816 work The Nutcracker and the Mouse King—takes spectators on a fantastical journey from a Christmas party into the dreams of a young girl, centered around her beloved toy nutcracker. With dances celebrating sweets from around the world and a production filled with wonderful sets and costumes, The Nutcracker, as Ballet West Artistic Director Adam Sklute has put it, “is a great introduction to people who have never seen ballet, but remains substantial and filling for people who know and love this multi-faceted art form.”

Ballet West’s presentation of The Nutcracker takes up residence at the Capitol Theatre (50 W. 200 South) Dec. 5 – 27, with performances Tuesday-Wednesday at 7 p.m., Thursday-Saturday at 2 p.m. & 7 p.m., and Sunday at noon and 5 p.m. Tickets tend to go fast, ranging between $46 - $172. Visit saltlakecountyarts.org to purchase tickets and for additional event information. (Scott Renshaw)

Holiday Theater Productions

As holiday season kicks into gear, there are few better ways to enjoy a group family experience than at the theater. Here are a few of the offerings from local companies.

Continuing its traditional kid-friendly holiday shows, Salt Lake Acting Company (168 W. 500 North) presents Naked Mole Rat Gets Dressed: The Rock Experience. Another collaboration between beloved children’s author Mo Willems and composer Deborah Wicks LaPuma (Don’t Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus), it tells the story of a naked mole rat named Wilbur who unexpectedly develops a love of … clothes. Each 65-minute show includes post-performance Q&A. The production runs Dec. 5 – 30 featuring mostly matinee showtimes, with tickets $17 - $27 at saltlakeactingcompany.org.

Pioneer Theatre Company brings the beloved Michael Frayn farce Noises Off to the Simmons Pioneer Memorial Theatre (300 S. 1400 East) for the first time in more than 20 years. If follows the chaos surrounding a British theater company production of a sex farce where relationships deteriorate and things rarely go quite as planned. The show runs Dec. 5 – 20, Monday – Saturday; tickets are $44 - $57, plus special “name your own price” options at pioneertheatre.org.

If Wicked: For Good didn’t sate your appetite for all things Oz, Wasatch Theatre Company presents Lauren Grove’s Before Oz at the Regent Street Black Box Theatre (144 Regent St., at the Eccles Theater), telling the true story of Oz author L. Frank Baum’s life, including the times and the people that inspired his timeless stories. Performances run from Dec. 5 – 13, and tickets are $25 at saltlakecountyarts.org. (SR)

Stage to Screen

Adapting a live performance of Merrily We Roll Along, plus December special screenings.

BY SCOTT RENSHAW scottr@cityweekly.net @scottrenshaw

Merrily We Roll Along BBB

Director Maria Friedman takes a second stab at capturing a live performance of Stephen Sondheim and George Furth’s Merrily We Roll Along after overseeing a 2013 version, so she’s had time to realize how to make the show visually interesting as a movie. This 2023-2024 Broadway revival follows three friends—Franklin (Jonathan Groff), Charley (Daniel Radcliffe) and Mary (Lindsay Mendez)—in reverse chronological order from 1976 back to 1957, tracking how their respective dreams of becoming creative artists did (or did not) come true, and what their pursuits cost them along the way. It’s not shocking that this was a notorious flop when it premiered in 1981, considering the melancholy fatalism of the structure and the premise’s open antagonism towards crowd-pleasing art, but this is still quintessentially Sondheim in its unique song structures, including plenty of rapid-fire lyricism and overlapping singers. All three lead performances are solid, but what’s most interesting is how Friedman employs her close-ups, including the opening number that stays focused on Groff’s mostly impassive face even while he’s not singing, and the savvy decisions about when to cut from speakers/singers to reaction shots. The result is something that doesn’t try to replicate the experience of being there, instead providing something that only a movie could do with the same raw material. Available Dec. 5 in theaters. (PG-13)

December 2025 Special Screenings

SLFS Holidays: Are you tired of having the argument about whether the original Die Hard is a Christmas movie? Well, Salt Lake Film Society has included it as part of its holiday lineup, so I guess that answers that question. In addition to watching Bruce Willis’ John McClane yippe-kiyay his way through the Nakatomi Tower (opening Dec. 12) at the Broadway Centre Cinemas (111 E. 300 South), you can catch Eyes Wide Shut (Dec. 5); The Muppet Christmas Carol (Dec. 14); It’s a Wonderful Life (Dec. 19); and The Apartment (Dec. 28). Visit the website for ticket details. slfs.org

Home Alone @ Utah Film Center: In the holiday season of 1990, Macaulay Culkin’s inadvertently abandoned grade-schooler Kevin McCallister slapped some aftershave on his face, screamed in dismay … and a star was born. Catch the hit slapstick comedy for a special morning screening on Saturday, Dec. 6 at 10 a.m. Admission is free to the public with online reservation. utahfilmcenter.org

Sound of Music: Sing With Maria: If you find yourself involuntarily tapping your toes when you hear “do, a deer, a female deer,” you’re probably the target audience for the Salt Lake Film Society’s annual sing-along celebration to the beloved 1965 adaptation of Rodgers and Hammerstein’s The Sound of Music. Follow the bouncing ball to “16 Going on 17,” “Climb Ev’ry Mountain,” “My Favorite Things,” the title song and more, plus an intermission tea-andcookies treat, costume contest and trivia. The event takes place for two screenings only on Saturday, Dec. 6 at 2 p.m. and 6:30 p.m. Tickets are $27.50. slfs.org

Brewvies Movie Brunch: The Nightmare Before Christmas: For more than 30 years, Tim Burton’s tale about the king of Halloweentown discovering the magic of Christmas has been a classic for both holidays. Enjoy the adventures of Jack and Sally with an audience of your fellow fans at Brewvies (677 S. 200 West) for a oneday-only screening on Sunday, Dec. 7 at noon. brewvies.com

Music Meets Movies: Stop Making Sense: The list of films worthy of consideration for “greatest concert film of all time” is a short one, but you’ll get a whole lot of votes for director Jonathan Demme’s 1984 feature capturing Talking Heads— and particularly frontman David Byrne— at the height of their creative powers. Experience “Psycho Killer,” “Burning Down the House,” “Once in a Lifetime” and more at Brewvies (677 S. 200 West) on Thursday, Dec. 11 at 7:30 p.m.; tickets are $10 at the door. brewvies.com

Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back in Concert @ Utah Symphony: Spoiler alert: The end of this movie was kind of a big deal 45 years ago, when the most popular box-office hit ever offered a sequel that was darker, richer and dropped an absolute narrative bombshell on its audience. Join the Utah Symphony performing John Williams’ legendary score live to screen at Abravanel Hall (123 W. South Temple) on Dec. 30, Jan. 2 and Jan. 3 at 7 p.m., and a 2 p.m. matinee on Dec. 31. Tickets start at $35. my.usuo.org CW

The

KRCL

‘FRATRIARCHY’ FACING THE

MEMBERS OF THE FAR-RIGHT MANOSPHERE PUSH A DANGEROUS POLITICS OF MALE GRIEVANCE.

BY MICHAEL DEAN MCGRADY, JR. COMMENTS@CITYWEEKLY.NET

Donald Trump’s courting of a decentralized network of online male groups, known widely as the “manosphere,” contributed to his 2024 election victory.

The president’s return to the high halls of power—even after being convicted of 34 felonies in New York for a hush money scandal involving an adult film star—speaks to the sexist grievance politics among conservative white males. Gen Z white men, in particular, are more likely than their female peers and millennial/Gen X counterparts to vote and identify with the GOP, notes the nonprofit Public Religion Research Institute.

The Survey Center on American Life at the right-wing American Enterprise Institute said in 2022 that Gen Z men overwhelmingly disagree with the concepts of feminism. And there’s evidence of this as a global, or at least transnational, trend. The Movember Institute of Men’s Health recently surveyed more than 3,000 young men aged 16 to 25 from the United States, United Kingdom and Australia. Their researchers found that a large proportion of the surveyed men believe that women should fill more traditional roles, such as being a wife and a mother.

At the heart of these shifts, especially among more conservative, traditionally religious men, is the fight against what they define as a “woke” culture run amok.

“Online spaces have become increasingly unsafe and hostile to women, queer- and gender-expansive individuals,” observed Mandy Salley, chief operating officer of the nonprofit Woodhull Freedom Foundation. “Any subculture that uses lies about our sexuality and seeks to control our sexual freedoms is a threat to the bodily autonomy of all of us.”

In a series of interviews and analyses of social media accounts dedicated to the so-called “manosphere” and concepts such as male supremacy, City Weekly gained a deeper understanding of specific online toxic masculinity groups. In Utah, for example, men—both in and out of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints—are commonly exposed to manosphere content and exposure to extremist masculinity politics through online communities, including one online forum operated by a far-right Mormon activist group dedicated to the late LDS church president Ezra Taft Benson.

spaces have become increasingly unsafe and hostile to women, queer and gender-expansive individuals.”—Mandy

“What’s old is, unfortunately, new again,” Salley said. “And so it’s not all that surprising to see these kinds of ideas gain popularity within the manosphere.”

Defining the ‘Manosphere’

Are women and LGBTQ+ people really to blame for these men’s aggression and hostility? These men themselves stoke the feeling of being left behind by society, especially within the confines of the online manosphere, observers note.

Evidence presents a self-fulfilling prophecy of a community that is sabotaging itself, leading to claims and beliefs that men are now a marginalized group. Real-world data continues to support the paradigm that women and LGBTQ+ people are more likely to be systematically otherized, ostracized and ridiculed by men.

UN Women, the United Nations agency dedicated to women’s and LGBTQ+ rights, has described the manosphere as “one of the most pressing challenges to gender equality in the digital age.” And Kalliopi Mingeirou, chief of UN Women’s Ending Violence Against Women section, told City Weekly by email that the crisis is more profound than many believe.

“It is part of a wider backlash that fuels abuse both online and offline,” Mingeirou said. “[It] spreads gendered disinformation to silence women in public life, and weakens democracy by amplifying coordinated attacks on women leaders, journalists and activists.”

She added that UN Women’s research suggests these misogynistic networks ultimately derive a profit from male outrage, while fueling online content that normalizes harassment and moves from social media into schools, workplaces and, ultimately, politics.

And when the actual manosphere is analyzed and defined, it takes various forms, ranging from religious ubiquity to self-victimization.

“Women then face organized intimidation and threats that take a heavy toll on their safety, participation, and wellbeing,” she said.

Dr. Jack Bratich, a professor of journalism and media studies at Rutgers University in New Jersey, characterizes the

manosphere and its constituent movements as a rising “fratriarchy.” In practice, this refers to a social system and political power structure controlled by a fraternal group of men.

“Some parts of that manosphere talk about their activities as ‘gender wars,’” he said, “and I think we need to take that seriously.”

But the power group is additionally exclusionary, Bratich explained. Many online manosphere groups believe society is targeting men, and this fear shows up in extreme misogyny within spaces such as online anti-porn communities. For instance: the porn addiction “self-help” forums, like NoFap.

“It’s even broader than the category of ‘women’—it targets any nonconformity as a threat,” Bratich said, “especially gender fluidity and [wider] sexual proliferation.”

Anti-Porn Discourse

Based on pseudoscience, NoFap groups teach that “rebooting” the brain through questionable practices—such as engaging in non-kink-related semen retention—can help a person break free of a supposed addiction to pornography.

As previously reported, pornography addiction isn’t a recognized diagnosis by major medical associations. But what qualifies an anti-pornography community like NoFap as an element of the wider manosphere is its focus on reclaiming “traditional sexuality.”

A review of NoFap forums—like r/NoFap on Reddit—shows community members trading tips on how to retain semen and clearly deny themselves basic human intimacy needs, contradicting long-held scientific consensus.

Additionally, these users circulate far-right conspiracy theories and tropes, such as porn being an invention of a shadowy Jewish elite, or by criticizing women for their perceived mental infirmity. Growing academic research even connects NoFap communities with extremist sentiments and violence.

“There are now many research papers that highlight the risks to LGBTQ+ and women in manosphere spaces like NoFap,” said Dr. Nicole Prause, a prominent academic critic of the NoFap movement and the private NoFap company formed

COURTESY PHOTO

COURTESY PHOTO

“Online

Salley

UN Women’s Kalliopi Mingeirou said the manosphere weakens democracy by attacking female leaders and by pushing gendered disinformation.

Researcher Nicole Prause has spent years in a legal battle with a manosphere leader, which she believes is a tactic to silence criticism.

Continued from page 20

around these concepts by Alexander Rhodes.

NoFap LLC is a Pennsylvania-registered company. And the entity officially manages the r/NoFap subreddit and other online groups to push self-help among primarily men who self-diagnose as porn addicts.

Prause’s peer-reviewed research highlights growing evidence that NoFap and its offshoots—which present themselves as sex positive and LGBTQ+ welcoming—are posturing due to a latent culture of misogyny. Adding an extra dimension, Prause has been locked in legal malaise with Rhodes for years due to her critical but accepted research. She also said that journalists have been threatened legally for critical reporting.

“We have data demonstrating the leaders of the ‘NoFap Army’ have incited conspiracies leading to violent posts targeting scientists, including myself,” Prause told City Weekly “They regularly threaten to sue scientists who study them, leading to several papers that note they were threatened by … [NoFap community members] for their research.”

Prause disclosed that one journalist who was working on a deep dive into NoFap for The Guardian shelved the story due to legal threats.

Intimidation is a common practice within the manosphere. Rhodes previously sued his own mother, Althea Azeff, for defamation.

Political Carnivorism

Intimidation stems from seemingly innocuous things in the manosphere, too. Take carnivorism, for instance, or the act of eating animal protein—particularly red meat—as a symbol of masculinity. Anyone who doesn’t eat red meat, according to these groups, is a “soyboy” or “cuck.”

Manosphere terminology such as this is used to pejoratively insult men who are perceived as weak, overly sensitive and/or lacking traditional traits and viewpoints of masculinity. Protein is also seen as the key to male virility. The “soyboy” insult derives from the widely discredited

conspiracy theory, often held among right-wing men, that eating protein derived from non-animal sources—namely, plants like soybeans—lowers testosterone levels. “Cuck,” which is short for “cuckold,” is applied to manosphere sentiments to similarly insult a man as weak, subservient, impotent and contemptible.

In a capacity of far-right dog whistles, these insults characterize how many in the applicable manosphere discourse believe that the eating of animal protein—especially beef and pork—is essential to being a man in society.

Demonstrations of these beliefs taken to extremes are seen quite regularly in the manosphere, especially among popular social influencers in both religious and non-religious factions of this space—factions led by men such as Jordan Peterson, Joe Rogan, Josh Hawley, Myron Gaines, Pete Hegseth, Tim Ballard, Andrew Tate, Matt Walsh, Michael Knowles, and others.

“The association of manliness with (animal-based) protein has been around for a while,” noted Bratich. “It’s tied to what they think of as ‘ancestral living’ or a primal lifestyle. Of course, they are fully immersed in [this] culture.”

Bratich added that this “contemporary version [of masculinity] seems more closely tied to modern masculine control, dressed up as self-discipline, and refusing the vulnerability that comes with losing control.” And this builds on interpretations that consuming meat is tied to far-right sexualized politics.

That is what Carol J. Adams shared in an interview with City Weekly. Adams, an influential feminist and animal rights activist, authored the 1990 book The Sexual Politics of Meat, which was republished on its 25th anniversary.

“There’s a performative masculinity going on,” explained Adams. “And the fact that [there is] this notion of manhood, virility, and meat-eating is tied to, you know, colonialist culture. That is tied to American history.”

Adams referred to the critical perspective that such an emphasis on eating meat, as seen in personalities like Brian Johnson—known online as “the Liver King”—as typical of

men in this space. Researchers characterize Johnson as a “hypermasculine” grifter and suggest that he is falsely presenting himself as an authority responding to men who follow him for solutions to feelings of disenfranchisement and emasculation.

“Imagine you’re at lunch and you eat tofu and everybody else is eating a hamburger—you know, you failed to renew your man card,” Adams said. “And, this man card is so fragile. It’s got to be constantly renewed and with this whole notion of a gender binary, which is so sacred to the right wing and to an autocratic government.”

Within that gender binary, Adams said, men eat meat and women eat vegetables. Or rather, it doesn’t matter what women eat.

“And anything that puts a chink in the gender binary is very threatening,” she added.

Note again that some of this is theoretical, but much of it is practical. The rise of this “fratriarchy” reflects far more than the typical online blustering, and it reveals a highly developed socio-political machinery that feeds into narratives of male insecurity, grievance and the reshaping of political viewpoints.

The online manosphere’s narratives of grievance, victimhood and restored dominance are not fringe sentiments, either. These have bled into the politics of mainstream rightwing spaces, including its religious and youth cultures, with a startling level of ease.

What begins as discontent on message boards can go forth and become a fuel for reactionary identity-building and acceptance of violence and cruelty.

Dismantling toxic masculinity is very necessary in the name of equity, empathy and humanity, rather than clear frat-boy politics. CW

Michael Dean McGrady Jr., is an investigative journalist covering the rights of sex workers, LGBTQ+ people, among other related topics. He writes from Missouri.

COURTESY

Rutgers University journalism professor Jack Bratich warned that online discussions around a “gender war” need to be taken seriously.

Author and activist Carol J. Adams told City Weekly that members of the manosphere are engaging in “performative masculinity.”

DINE

Checking in On Woodbine Food Hall

This Granary District culinary hub just keeps getting better.

BY ALEX SPRINGER comments@cityweekly.net @captainspringer

Opening a food hall is a bit like starting a band: You’re willingly asking a group of very strong personalities to come together in order to achieve something that celebrates their own talents while collaborating on something together. While I like each of our local food halls for different reasons, I think the setup at Woodbine Food Hall comes closest to what a quality food hall should be.

Even when the food hall first opened in the Granary District, it had a solid lineup.

MOZZ Artisan Pizza got a strong foothold with its sourdough pizza, and has taken off with three additional locations. Deadpan Sandwich continues to make some of the best sandwiches available locally—the Oh Schnitzel is a mainstay on my own personal top five. Every new spot that has opened has brought something unique to the area, and I thought it was high time to revisit this place to see what exactly is cooking.

First off, I noticed that Yakuza Ramen had shifted gears and is now a Tosh’s Ramen Express, which bodes well for ramen fans. Tosh’s Ramen has been a pioneer on the ramen scene for years; its State Street location was where I first fell in love with true-blue Japanese ramen, and seeing this brand establish another location at Woodbine is a good get for the neighborhood.

It’s also cool to see Old Cuss Coffee alive and well within the neighborhood food hall. I was a fan of Old Cuss Cafe

when it was in operation and it’s good to see that its brand of coffee and craft sodas has a place to flourish while its Salt Lake location gets sorted out. Every good food hall needs a coffee shop and Old Cuss brings its own unique brand of attitude and quality to the Woodbine party.

Salt City Barbecue recently cleaned up at this year’s Best of Utah awards, where the restaurant’s ribs, brisket and pulled pork all got nods. Thanks to the efforts of this competitive barbecue team, the Woodbine interior is often bathed in the tasty aromas of low-and-slow smoked meats. My favorite way to consume its barbecue is via a hefty plate of nachos, but its barbecue sandwiches are also delightful.

With pizza and barbecue covered, burgers are the next logical step—and thanks to Dom’s Burgers, we get something familiar with a unique twist. Dom’s serves up dual-patty smash burgers, and it’s The English ($9) that puts this meaty formula on an English muffin. Though this slightly denser sandwich delivery method is traditionally reserved for breakfast sandwiches, there is something to be said about serving a loaded, cheesy burger on an English muffin. For starters, its chewy heft adds more structural integrity to the burger, which makes it possible to fit all those Fresno chilies, pickles, sauce and shredded lettuce inside.

Of course, The Shroom ($13) and The Western ($12) should not be overlooked. Served on toasty potato buns, the former uses melty brie and a mushroom marsala to evoke a French-inspired take on a classic burger. The Western harkens to the Utah original of a burger slathered in barbecue sauce and topped with onion rings and bacon.

With these basics covered, it’s time to look at Woodbine’s wild cards. The mix of Burmese comfort food and sushi is really working with Shwe Letyar. A graduate of Spice Kitchen Incubator, this restaurant is serving up some high-quality sushi rolls alongside traditional Burmese dishes like glutinous rice pyramids ($7.99) steamed

in banana leaves or chicken stir fry. Caracas Dog bows to the majesty of the loaded Venezuelan street hot dog, each one presenting a tasty challenge when eating with one’s hands. The Perro con Todo ($6.50) is a good jumping off point, as it’s a prime example of just how loaded a hot dog bun can get on the streets of Caracas. It’s a beef hot dog that gets topped with shredded cabbage, onions, corn, crunchy potato sticks, ketchup, mayo and honey mustard before getting hit with a generous handful of shredded gouda cheese. Caracas Dog also offers a buildyour-own option that includes a baconwrapped hot dog—if you know, you know.

At the end of the hall sits Marcato Kitchen, which has moved out of its commissary kitchen digs and set up shop at Woodbine. It’s a lovely thing to behold— I’ve been a fan of this place ever since I tried its Banh-Boli ($16), a Vietnamese riff on the restaurant’s signature sandwichstyle stromboli. Packed with pulled brisket, pickled carrot and daikon along with some hoisin barbecue sauce and melty mozzarella, this is one menu item that is a must-try during a Woodbine visit.

Of course, no meal is complete without dessert, which is where Chunky comes in. Serving up thick, gooey cookies with a tropical flare, this is a great spot to check out if for some reason you haven’t already filled up on excellent dining options. The bakery has plenty of cookies to go, but for a truly indulgent experience, check out the Chunky Keiki ($12). It’s a melty pizookie, served warm and topped with vanilla ice cream and your choice of sauce. With a fantastic roster of local eateries onsite and community-friendly events like movie nights and live music, Woodbine Food Hall continues to be a true gem in the Granary District. CW

Strombolis courtesy of Marcato Kitchen

2 Row Brewing

73 West 7200 South, Midvale 2RowBrewing.com

On Tap: “Juicequake” Juicy Style IPA

Avenues Proper

376 8th Ave, SLC avenuesproper.com

On Tap: Apricaldera (Jalapeño Apricot Wheat Ale)

Bewilder Brewing

445 S. 400 West, SLC BewilderBrewing.com

On Tap: Pink Boots - Pink Pony Pilz

Bohemian Brewery

94 E. Fort Union Blvd, Midvale BohemianBrewery.com

NEW Releases: Kölsch, Dusseldorfer “Alt” Bier

Bonneville Brewery

1641 N. Main, Tooele BonnevilleBrewery.com

On Tap: Peaches and Cream Ale

Chappell Brewing

2285 S Main Street

Salt Lake City, UT 84115 chappell.beer

On Tap: Pie Hole - Strawberry Rhubarb Tart Ale

Corner Brew Pub Sugar House

2110 S. Highland Drive, SLC cornerbrewpub.com

On Tap:  Top of Main Yuzu Bruzu Wheat Beer

Craft by Proper

1053 E. 2100 So., SLC properbrewingco.com

On Tap: I Am The Vvitch - golden ale with pumpkin and spices

Desert Edge Brewery

273 Trolley Square, SLC DesertEdgeBrewery.com

On Tap:  Centennial Steamer, California Common Lager

Epic Brewing Co.

825 S. State, SLC EpicBrewing.com

On Tap: Six New Big Bad Baptist Imperial Stout Variants

Etta Place Cidery

700 W Main St, Torrey www.ettaplacecider.com

On Tap: Legendary Cider, Mango-Habanero Session Mead

Fisher Brewing Co.

320 W. 800 South, SLC FisherBeer.com

On Tap: A rotation of up to 17 Fresh Beers!

Grid City Beer Works

333 W. 2100 South, SLC GridCityBeerWorks.com

NEW: DK Rice Lager

Heber Valley Brewing

501 N. Main Street, Heber City, UT hebervalleybrewing.com

Freshly Canned: ‘435’ American Pale Ale 6% ABV

Helper Beer

159 N Main Street, Helper, UT  helperbeer.com

Hopkins Brewing Co. 1048 E. 2100 South, SLC HopkinsBrewingCompany.com

On Tap: Hopkins Lager

Kiitos Brewing

608 W. 700 South, SLC KiitosBrewing.com

On Tap: Winter Ale, Kernza Lager

Kiitos Brewing Sugar House Bar 1533 S. 1100 East, SLC KiitosBrewing.com

NOW OPEN!

Level Crossing Brewing Co. 2496 S. West Temple, South Salt Lake

LevelCrossingBrewing.com

On Tap: Hefe Goldbloom Hefeweizen

Level Crossing Brewing Co., POST 550 South 300 West, Suite 100, SLC LevelCrossingBrewing.com

On Tap: Vienna Lager

Moab Brewing 686 S. Main, Moab TheMoabBrewery.com

A list of what local craft breweries and cider houses have on tap this week

Mountain West Cider

425 N. 400 West, SLC MountainWestCider.com

On Tap: Quince Cider

On Tap:  “Big Drop” West Coast Pilsner SaltFire

Offset Bier Co 1755 Bonanza Dr Unit C, Park City offsetbier.com/

On Tap: DOPO IPA

Ogden Beer Company

358 Park Blvd, Ogden OgdenBeerCompany.com

On Tap: 11 rotating taps as well as high point cans and guest beers

Park City Brewing 1764 Uinta Way C1 ParkCityBrewing.com

On Tap: Billy’s Brown Ale

Prodigy Brewing

25 W Center St. Logan

Prodigy-brewing.com

On Tap: 302 Czech Pilsner

Proper Brewing/Proper Burger 857 So. Main & 865 So. Main properbrewingco.com

On Tap: Marvin the Marzen

Proper Brewing Moab 1393 US-191, Moab properbrewingco.com

On Tap: Marvin the Marzen

Red Rock Brewing 254 So. 200 West RedRockBrewing.com

On Tap: Gypsy Scratch

Red Rock Fashion Place 6227 So. State Redrockbrewing.com

On Tap: Grand Bavaria

Red Rock Kimball Junction 1640 Redstone Center Redrockbrewing.com

On Tap: Bamberg Rauch Bier

RoHa Brewing Project

30 Kensington Ave, SLC RoHaBrewing.com

On Tap: Prohibition Lager

Roosters Brewing

Multiple Locations

RoostersBrewingCo.com

On Tap: Peacan Pie Ale

NIEPA

Salt Flats Brewing 2020 Industrial Circle, SLC SaltFlatsBeer.com

On Tap: OPEN ROAD SERIES #3Barrel Aged Grand Cru

Cider Bar 916 Jefferson St W, SLC Scionciderbar.com On Tap: Scion Cider Penpal 6.2%

TFBrewing.com

On Tap: Twelve taps and high point cans available.

Talisman Brewing Co. 1258 Gibson Ave, Ogden TalismanBrewingCo.com

On Tap: Goggle Fogger - Hazy IPA Thieves Guild Cidery 117 W. 900 South, SLC thievesguildcidery.com

NEW: Thunderclap - Juicy tropical-hopped cider | 6.5%

Top of Main Brewery

250 Main, Park City, Utah topofmainbrewpub.com

On Tap: Top of Main Yuzu Bruzu Wheat Beer

Uinta Brewing 1722 S. Fremont Drive, SLC UintaBrewing.com

On Tap: Was Angeles Craft Beer UTOG 2331 Grant Ave, Ogden UTOGBrewing.com On Tap: Golden Grant 5% ABV.

Vernal Brewing 55 S. 500 East, Vernal VernalBrewing.com

BEER NERD

Grass in the Glass

Kiitos Brewing pushes the boundaries of sustainability with rare 100% Kernza Lager.

BY MIKE RIEDEL comments@cityweekly.net @utahbeer

Salt Lake City’s Kiitos Brewing has never been a brewery content to simply rest on its laurels. While they produce some of the Mountain West’s cleanest IPAs and stouts, their true passion project lies in the intersection of brewing science and environmental stewardship. Now, Kiitos is back, doubling down on their eco-conscious mission with yet another 100% sustainable grain beer. This isn’t just a novelty brew; it is a technical marvel. We are talking about a 100% Kernza Lager, a beer so difficult to produce and so rare that this release marks only one of two such beers in the entire world.

To understand the magnitude of this brew, one must first understand the grain itself. Kernza is not your average brewing ingredient; it is a revolutionary agricultural development. Developed by The Land Institute in Salina, Kansas, Kernza is the trademarked name for the grain of a type of wheatgrass. Unlike traditional wheat, barley or corn, which are annuals that must be replanted every year, Kernza is a perennial. Once planted, Kernza grows year after year without the need for tilling. Its roots dig incredibly deep—up to 10 feet or more—anchoring the soil to prevent erosion, managing water filtration and, most importantly, sequestering massive amounts of atmospheric carbon into the ground. It is widely considered a superhero grain in the fight against climate change.

However, Kernza has historically been a difficult beast to tame in the mash tun. Because the kernels are small and the gluten structure (yes, it has gluten) is different from barley, it can create significant challenges for brewers. Consequently, several breweries across the United States have utilized it, but

almost exclusively as a blending grain. Many breweries across the U.S. have made Kernza beers, but these were usually grain bills featuring 15 to 40 percent Kernza mixed with traditional barley to ensure a stable brew. But a 100 percent grain bill? That has remained an elusive “white whale” for brewers—until now.

Kiitos Brewing is uniquely positioned to tackle this challenge, because they have already successfully navigated these waters. Beer nerds will remember the brewery’s recent triumph with their Fonio Lager. Fonio, an ancient West African grain, is drought-resistant and thrives in poor soil conditions, making it another climate-friendly powerhouse. When Kiitos released a lager made entirely of Fonio, they proved they possessed the enzyme knowledge and technical prowess to brew delicious beer without a single kernel of malted barley. That success laid the groundwork for this new Kernza exploration.

So, how does a beer that saves the planet actually taste? Pouring the Kiitos 100% Kernza Lager, you are immediately struck by how “beer-like” it appears, despite the lack of traditional barley. But the nose and palate offer something entirely distinct. The brew utilizes Audacia hops, a varietal that does some heavy lifting to complement the unique grain bill. On the nose, there is a surprising and delightful fruitiness; the aroma is reminiscent of wild berries mixed with the floral sharpness of rose hips. The Audacia hops continue to shine, offering layers of herbs that play beautifully against the grain.

The Kernza itself is the star of the show, however. It departs from the biscuit-like sweetness of barley, offering instead a profile that is deeply earthy and remarkably rye-like. There is a spice to the malt body that feels rustic and grounding. The beer finishes with a dry, herbal character that scrubs the palate clean. It’s complex and refreshing all at once.

Verdict: Drinking this lager feels like drinking the future of agriculture. It is a testament to Kiitos Brewing’s innovation, proving that sustainability doesn’t mean sacrificing flavor—it means evolving it.

You can find Kiitos’ Kernza Lager exclusively at Kiitos’ brewery and at the new Kiitos Sugar House Pub located at 1533 S. 1100 East. As always, cheers! CW

the BACK BURNER

BY ALEX SPRINGER | @captainspringer

Mazza Turns 25

Chef Ali Sabbah and the Mazza team recently announced that the restaurant’s 25th anniversary is going forward and will take place on Dec. 10. Chef Sabbah and the whole Mazza organization have worked diligently and tirelessly to create a unique restaurant space that serves Middle Eastern classics in an accessible and welcoming environment. They’ve endured a litany of hardships during the restaurant’s operation, and seeing them get to 25 years in business is a true milestone. The event will take place at Commercial Club SLC (32 Exchange Pl.) from 6 p.m. to 9 p.m. and you can find a link to ticket purchases via Mazza’s Instagram (@mazza_slc). While you’re there, it’s not a bad idea to contribute to the restaurant’s GoFundMe as a 25th birthday present.

Holiday High Tea Experiences at Bambara

Throughout the month of December, Bambara (bambara-slc.com) will be hosting a pair of holiday experiences that sound like a posh time out for foodies of all ages. The first of these offerings is the Sugar Plum Tea, which recalls the high tea vibes of a Regency period piece with dainty cucumber and dill sandwiches paired with a selection of quality teas and petit fours for sipping and snacking. The second option is the Land of Sweets Hot Chocolate, which is more of a dessert-forward experience complete with hot chocolate, waffles, truffles, cookies and other sweets. These events will take place every Saturday and Sunday from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. throughout the month of December.

Beast From the East Opens Second Location

Hot on the heels of cleaning up at this year’s Best of Utah Awards, Beast From the East Sandwichery (beastfromtheeastsandwichery.com) recently expanded its unholy influence to a second location. In addition to the location inside Cruzrs Saloon (3943 S. Highland Drive), Beast From the East has expanded to the location at 1702 S. Main Street where Loco Burger used to be. The Main Street location is an all-ages cafe, and the team will also be providing sandwiches to customers at Manny’s, which is right next door. With a menu that is gaining popularity and some immaculate hard rock vibes, we’re expecting some pretty great things from this particular beast.

Quote of the Week: “Do not make a stingy sandwich. Customers should see salami coming through the

rye.” – Allan Sherman

Music Mailbag

December 2025

New music from The Snarlin’ Yarns, Josaleigh Pollett and more.

BY EMILEE ATKINSON eatkinson@cityweekly.net @emileelovesvinyl

The weather is getting colder and snow is on the horizon. You need music that will accompany you on those chilly evenings while you’re snuggled up in your favorite blanket and fuzzy socks. Here are some new local releases that will help keep you warm.

MELŌ, HiLo: Rockers MELŌ have become known for their energetic alt/rock sound, but have come up with something brand new and even more epic for their latest EP. HiLo is a concept collection of songs, meant to be listened to in order and all the way through. It contains a mix of metal, rock and pop, but also a full orchestra. The trio recruited composer Gavin McMahan and the Budapest Scoring Orchestra to help with their vision, and together they made a unique and eclectic body of work. There’s something about traditional rock/metal sounds being paired with orchestral music that just makes for an incredible listening experience. Check out HiLo wherever you listen to music.

The Snarlin’ Yarns, “Shipwreck”: It’s been a while since we’ve heard from one of Ogden’s favorite bands, but they’re back with a fresh single and an album on the way. The Snarlin’ Yarns blend acoustic, bluegrass and folk sounds to create their brand of beau-

tiful and meaningful tunes. “Shipwreck” is soulful and full of saturated sound. The production on it is great, so it’ll fill your ears easily with its rich instrumentation and vocals. The song talks of sailing and the open ocean, but is also performed as you would expect a sea shanty to sound. Vocalist/fiddle player Mara Brown is in the foreground singing the main lyrics with the rest of the band in the background joining the song, making it sound like every sailor on the boat is chiming in. On BandCamp, the album description reads, “The Yarns weave tales from the water and the land and braid them with the lion and the lamb. The melodies will not cure warts or boils but will get yer blood bubbling in rhythm and mayhem.” The Snarlin’ Yarns are fun because they have a great sound and that’s due to each member being a master at their craft, in addition to the close friendship of the group. The love and joy shines through in their music, especially on this new track. “Shipwreck” is on BandCamp now, with the full album The Remedy coming in January.

Megan Blue, Out of My Own Way: “The main theme of the album is finding sobriety and getting out of my own way to create the art that I have been wanting to put out to the world,” said singer/songwriter Megan Blue of her new album. Blue earned a Master’s Degree in Vocal Performance, but that’s not what makes her a great singer—she has a smooth, soulful and powerful voice that lends itself well to the bluesy music that accompanies her. Blue also sings about personal experiences, making the music that much better, knowing it’s coming from a sincere place. Out of My Own Way is chock full of all of the above and more. The entire album is rich and crisp, with a bluesy groove that’s hard to shake. The track “Break Through” is a standout, really embracing the idea of getting out of your own way and breaking out of the mental blocks

MUSIC

you’ve created in life. Imagine how great life would be if we all got out of our own ways. Give this a listen if you need some smooth tunes to listen to.

Josaleigh Pollett, “Radio Player”: “‘Radio Player’ is a song about memory and fear, loosely based on seeing the movie Poltergeist at too young an age. It is a journey through the hallways of childhood that we leave a light on within. A pink light flickers on and beckons the listener through, releasing them changed and covered in ectoplasm five minutes later,” Pollett describes their

latest single. Pollett has always had a knack for whimsical, poignant and creative music, and that sensibility continues here. The track opens with static and electronic elements before Pollett comes in with soft vocals. The song feels like childhood memories that were buried deep and all of the sudden come to the surface in a sudden realization—“memory unlocked” vibes. This idea is emphasized more with lyrics like, “Memory is a fickle thing when you cope with damage like us.” If you also perhaps watched Poltergeist at too young of an age, you’ll understand, and will want to check out “Radio Player.” CW

Josaleigh Pollett

TUESDAYS

WEDNESDAYS

BEST BAR IN UTAH!

GREAT FOOD

MUSIC PICK S

Joshua Radin @ Egyptian Theatre 12/4-6

Singer/songwriter Joshua Radin makes music that’s melodic and deeply affecting. While he’s yet to acquire the larger audience that he so clearly deserves, those familiar with his sound can testify to the exceptional beauty, unassuming introspection and exquisite intimacy that radiates through each of his endeavors. He may, in fact, be America’s best-kept musical secret, and in that regard, it’s long past time Radin got his due. Even now, after 10 remarkable albums, he’s somehow managed to elude wider recognition. Nevertheless, his appeal lies in his otherwise unassuming stance. Hushed vocals and understated melodies suggest a somewhat tenuous delivery, but a closer listen finds his tender trappings fully vested in emotive expressions that tug at the heartstrings. Not that Radin hasn’t made a move towards the mainstream; his songs have been frequently heard on such prime-time TV series as Scrubs, Grey’s Anatomy, American Idol, One Tree Hill, House and more, providing him with dozens of placements over the course of his career. Yet, given his generally subtle stance, he may have been otherwise overlooked. He relies as much on mood as he does on melody, hardly an inducement for those who favor the bigger, bolder sounds that define so much of today’s modern music. Nevertheless, more beautiful ballads are hard to come by. Joshua Radin performs at the Egyptian Theatre, Thursday, Dec. 4 through Saturday, Dec 6 at 8 p.m. Tickets cost $33 - $49 at egyptiantheatrecompany.org. (Lee Zimmerman)

MUSIC PICK S

MERSIV – The Audiosphere Tour @ Boxpac Project 12/6

Denver-based electronic artist Anderson Benoit Gallegos—aka MERSIV—has been a formidable force in electronic music since 2015, introducing audiences to his distinctive sound through his album Pretty Dark Loud. The album’s 20 tracks showcase Gallegos’ ability to meld emotional depth with a diverse array of sounds, from hip-hop to pop and bass, reflecting his personal journey and creative evolution. Through his collaborations with artists like Calvin Hobbes, SuperAve., Dalek One, Green Matter, Stellar and AstroLizard, Gallegos keeps putting out top-quality work. For example, his songs “Trippy Land,” “Digital Eden” and “Forest Creature” are from different stages of his music career, but perfectly showcase what he calls the “freeform electronic” genre. “Feeform” can be best described as a fluid style of experimental bass that fluctuates between a range of tempos and styles to allow creatives to express themselves through vibration, energy and flow. His sound combines elements of hip-hop with the funk and soul of psychedelic rock music akin to Lenny Kravitz. On MERSIV’s website, he explains his name means, “Having a complete mental, physical and spiritual embrace to the present moment of sound” and also a “discovery of oneself through music.” Mutiny Music Collective knows exactly what our city wants when it comes to electronic music, so grab your tickets quickly and come to Boxpac Project on Saturday, Dec. 6. The event starts at 9 p.m. General admission is $41.04 at eventim.us. (Arica Roberts)

MUSIC PICK S

Felix Indigo, Gilded Lillies, Drama Llama @ The DLC 12/6

As always, the local music scene is popping on the weekend, and this lineup will make for an excellent show. Headlining is Felix Indigo, an up-and-coming four-piece group who specialize in a mix of blues and funk. “With transcendent melodies, twisting riffs, and soulful vocals, step into the groove with us and let your mind journey to wherever the music takes you,” they say on their website. Their live shows are expressive and energetic—you definitely won’t feel bored listening to them. Their funk/ blues sound is so satisfying to the ear and they play the genre well. Felix Indigo plays around town often, but this show will be fun with the complementing bands. Gilded Lillies released their debut album UP IN ARMS last year, which features themes about the difficulties of adolescence and growing up. Frontwoman Macy Weeks touches on personal experiences throughout the album, adding a lot of emotionality to each track. “[UP IN ARMS] is a musical memoir of perseverance, sacrifice, female rage, and vulnerability,” the album description reads. Indie rockers Drama Llama round out the bill with their sweet and at times delicate sound. Their latest release, “Avocado Toast,” is a lovely and chill track to play for winding down. Come hang out at The DLC on Saturday, Dec. 6 at 8 p.m. Tickets for this 21+ show go for $11.72 at 24tix.com. (Emilee Atkinson)

Story of the Year, Senses Fail @ The Complex 12/7

St. Louis, Missouri’s Story of the Year’s debut LP, Page Avenue, is a brilliant record. It was confounding to me at the time it came out, with its sky-high choruses and raw breakdowns, but with a comforting melodic garage noise assault never too far away to keep me tuned in. Since its release in 2003, the 12-track record has stood the test of time, achieving platinum status in 2021. And while others had already done some of that genre-stretching, Story of the Year expanded on it and definitely changed

my perception of what noisy post-hardcore could be. “There’s an expression that a lot of creators use called, ‘killing your babies.’ You have to know how to self-edit. You have to be willing to cut some shit out to just make the best piece of art you can,” Ryan Phillips told Chorus.fm. “And this whole record was like that. If something wasn’t immediately hitting, it was like, on to the next. Let’s kill that baby.” Sure, they’re great at the classic “hit drum very hard, play real fast, scream into mic” stuff that I dig, but for the most part, all of their albums like to explore sounds beyond that as well—and I appreciate them for it. Armor For Sleep and Senses Fail open. Catch these artists on the Scream Team tour at The Complex on Sunday, Dec 7. Doors at 6:30 p.m.; show at 7:30 p.m. Tickets for the all-ages show are $47.94 and can be found at thecomplexslc.com. (Mark Dago)

Lindsey Stirling @ The Maverik Center 12/9

Until recent years, mention of a dancing violinist conjured thoughts of old-time or folk music traditions. But Lindsey Stirling has gone a long way toward turning that image on its head. First coming to national notice in 2010 when she appeared on America’s Got Talent, Stirling wowed the judges’ panel with both her music—a mix of classical, hip-hop and pop—and her skill as a dancer, both at once; her career was soon to take off. Her YouTube channel garnered more than 3 billion views in its first seven years. Released in 2012, her self-titled debut album was a nearly unprecedented crossover smash success, as Lindsey Stirling claimed the top spot on both Dance and Classical album charts in the U.S., taking the No. 2 spot on the Indie Albums chart and earning her a Gold record. Her latest and seventh studio album of new material, the EDM-flavored Duality, was released in June 2024, and it, too, reached the number one spot on the Classical Albums chart. Promoting her 2022 holiday-themed release, Lindsey Stirling comes to the Maverik Center on her Snow Waltz tour Tuesday, Dec. 9 at 8 p.m. Tickets are $72.20 and up from ticketmaster.com. (Bill Kopp)

Lindsey Stirling

free will ASTROLOGY

BY ROB BREZSNY

ARIES (March 21-April 19)

Two of your birthrights as an Aries: the spark that ignites the fire and the trailblazer who doesn’t wait for permission. I invite you to embody both roles to the max in the coming weeks. Keep these caveats in mind: Your flame should provide light and warmth, not rouse scorching agitation. Your intention should be to lead, not stir up drama or demand attention. Be bold and innovative, but always with rigorous integrity. Be sensitive and receptive as you unleash your gorgeous courage. In my vision of your future, you’re the wise guide who inspires and includes, who innovates and reflects. You fight for interdependence, not dominance.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20)

Here’s a key theme: microdoses of courage. You don’t need to summon splashy acts of epic heroism. Subtle rebellions against numbness and ignorance may be all that’s required. Your understated superpowers will be tactful surges of honesty and gentle interventions in challenging transitions. So be brave in ways that feel manageable, Taurus. Don’t push yourself to be a fearless warrior. The trembling truth-teller is your best role model. As an experiment to get started, say yes to two things that make you nervous but don’t terrify you.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20)

Your inner ear contains three canals filled with fluid. They act like gyroscopes, telling you which way is up, how fast you’re moving, and when to stop. Your ability to maintain your balance depends on their loyal service. Without them, you couldn’t orient yourself in space. Moral of the story: You stabilize yourself through constant adjustment. Let’s make this a metaphor for your current assignment. Your ability to remain poised, centered, and grounded will require ongoing adaptations. It won’t work to remain still and fixed. You will have to keep calibrating and adapting.

CANCER (June 21-July 22)

Let’s extol the value of productive confusion: the disorienting state when your old maps no longer match the territory. Your beloved certainties shudder and dissipate, and you don’t know what you don’t know. This isn’t a failure of understanding, but the ripe precondition for a breakthrough. The caterpillar doesn’t smoothly or instantly transition into a butterfly. First it dissolves into chaotic goo and simmers there for a while. Conclusion: Stay in the notknowing a little longer.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22)

Coffee from Java, orchids from Iceland, and grapes from Vesuvius, Italy: What do these bounties have in common? They flourish in the extra fertile soil created by volcanic eruptions. The molten lava that initially leveled everything in its path later cooled and became a repository of rich nutrients. I expect a milder version of this theme for you, Leo. Events and energies that at first cause disruption will eventually become vitalizing and even healing. Challenges will lead to nourishment.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

Gardeners in Japan spend years training bonsai trees to grow into elegant shapes. The process requires extraordinary patience, close listening, and an intimate relationship with an ever-changing life form. I invite you to approach your current projects with this mindset. You may feel tempted to expedite the growth that’s unfolding. You might feel pressure to “complete” or “optimize.” But the flourishing of your work depends on subtle attunement, not brute progress. Pay tender attention to what wants to emerge slowly. Tend to it with care. Time is your collaborator, not your enemy. You’re weaving lasting beauty.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

The Swedish concept of lagom means “not too much, not too little, but just right.” It suggests that the best option may be in the middle rather than in the extremes. Yes, sometimes that means an uneasy compromise. But more

often, it’s how the power and virtue come fully alive and thrive. Many people don’t like this fact of life. They are fixated on the delusion that more is always better. In the coming weeks, Libra, I invite you to be a connoisseur of lagom . To do it right, you may have to strenuously resist peer pressure and groupthink.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

In Bangkok markets, elderly women sell caged birds. Why? For the specific purpose of releasing them. Those who buy a captive sparrow or dove immediately open the cage door and let the creature fly away in a symbolic gesture of compassion and spiritual aspiration. It’s a Buddhist act believed to bring good karma to the person who sets the bird free. I invite you to imagine yourself performing this sacrament, Scorpio, or perhaps conducting an actual ritual with the equivalent purpose. Now is a fun and fertile time to liberate an outdated belief, a conversation you keep replaying, or a version of yourself that’s no longer relevant. Take your cue from the signs that appear in the Bangkok market: Letting go is a form of prayer

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

The world’s oldest musical composition is the Hurrian Hymn No. 6. It was discovered etched on clay tablets in Syria, dating back to 1400 BCE. When finally decoded and performed, it revealed harmonies that still resonate with modern listeners. Your projects in the coming months could share this timeless quality. You will have enhanced power to bridge your past and your future. A possibility you’ve been nurturing for months or even years may finally ripen into beautiful completion. Watch for opportunities to synergize tradition with innovative novelty or deep-rooted marvels with sweet, breezy forms of expression.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

I’m taking a risk here by urging you cautious Capricorns to at least flirt with the Finnish tradition of drinking alcohol at home alone in your underwear with no intention of going out. I’m certainly not encouraging you to get so hammered that you can’t safely wander outdoors. My point is to give yourself permission to celebrate your amazing, mysterious, beautiful life with a bout of utterly uninhibited relaxation and totally indulgent contentment. I authorize you to be loose and free and even slightly irresponsible. Let your private pleasures reign supreme.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

In the Quechua language, the word ayllu refers to a kinship system not just of people, but of animals, ancestors, dreams, and nature. To be aligned with one’s ayllu is to live in reciprocity, in the ongoing exchange of care and meaning among the entire web of life. “We belong to what we love,” the Quecha elders say. Aquarius, I believe you’re being asked to focus on your ayllu . Who or what comprises your circle of belonging? Which beings, places, and unseen presences help weave the pattern of your treasured destiny? Whom do you create for—not as audience, but as kin who receive and answer your song? As you nourish your connections in the coming weeks, pay special attention to those who respect your idiosyncrasies. It’s not your birthright to simply fit in. Your utter uniqueness is one of your greatest gifts, and it’s your sacred duty to give it.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20)

In Yoruba cosmology, Oshun presides over rivers, love, beauty and sweet water. Her sweetness isn’t a weakness. It’s a sublime power, evidenced by how her waters once restored life to the barren earth when every other force failed. You are now channeling extra strong currents of Oshun energy. Your tenderness is magnetic. Your imaginative flourishes are as valuable as gold. And your love, when rooted in your sovereign self-respect, is healing. But don’t let your nurturing be exploited. Choose wisely where you share your bounty. The right people will honor your flow, not judge it or try to change it. Your duty is to be uninhibitedly yourself and let your lyrical truths ripple freely.

University of Utah Health and the Moran Eye Center will be destroying medical records created prior to 01/01/2004 for all patients. UUH and Moran will also be destroying medical records created prior to 01/01/2016 for deceased patients who passed away prior to 01/01/2016 and who were over the age of 18 at the time of death. If you would like to request a copy of your records prior to destruction, or if you have a legal right to access a deceased relatives medical information and would like a copy of their records, you must contact the facility at 801-5812704 before 01/01/2026. After that date, records will no longer be available.

urban LIVING

Ups and Downs

Research from Zillow was released last month, and the report wasn’t great. According to the company, 53% of homes in this country lost value during the past year, the most since after the Great Recession. This data comes from their “Zestimate” feature, which is notoriously inaccurate.

Don’t panic, though; property values have gone up in Utah. The median sales price for a home in Utah in October was between $529,000 and $578,600—up 3.7% to 4.7% over the same period last year (depending on the source).

Our market has certainly cooled since the pandemic years, when there were dozens of offers on just about any home in virtually any price range. The number of homes for sale in Utah is up compared to last year. This impacts the number of showings a home might get to prospective buyers, but prices still remain high and many properties are sitting stale on the market.

The average number of days on market for a Utah home is 55 (depending on location): 62 days in Utah County; 56 in Salt Lake County; 57 in Washington County; and 41 in Davis County. Nationwide, Zillow found that the median home has increased in value since the last time it sold—a period of roughly eight and a half years, on an average. Sale-to-sale prices are up 67%, with Buffalo, NY, topping the list at 108% and San Diego up 88%.

One of my siblings lives a block from the ocean in Imperial Beach, CA, and has been renting at $3,000 per month due to a hands-off landlord. Similar homes on his street (and they ain’t big ones!) rent for $7,000 per month.

He and his wife are trying to buy, but are finding they would have to move waaaay inland (think Temecula) to be able to afford something that might have a similar house payment as their rent. Builders there (and here in Utah) are offering fantastic deals on new construction homes, working with lenders to get entry-level interest rates low enough to make homes affordable for first-time buyers.

The National Association of Realtors predicts there will be double-digit growth in home sales in 2026 around the country, with prices going up 4% overall. This is in comparison to data suggesting that home sales will remain flat through the end of this year.

The association’s chief economist, Lawrence Yun, forecasted that sales volume for homes will rise 14% next year after three years of stagnation, with new-home sales rising 5%. He believes job growth will remain solid and that there will be ongoing shortages of available housing supply, which supports his prediction of higher prices. Low inventory equals greater demand, which equals higher sales prices.

Yun’s forecast follows three straight years with the lowest volume of home sales since 1995, after affordability pushed many prospective buyers to the sidelines. Another factoid from NAR is that the typical age of first-time homebuyers rose to an all-time high of 40, which keeps young families in Utah out of the housing market. ■

CROSSWORD PUZZLE

ACROSS

1. Recede

4. Adjust to a new situation

9. Reach via jet

14. ___-Magnon (early Homo sapiens)

15. Opening

16. Hotel offerings

17. U.K. singer who left his boy band in 2015

19. Trooper maker

20. Digital party notice

21. Seafood in a “shooter”

23. Mosquito net material

24. He played Max Bialystock in “The Producers”

28. Volcanic debris

29. Election Day mo.

30. Repetitive Olympics chant

31. Bed covering

34. “You’re born naked, and the rest is ___”: RuPaul

35. New York City’s mayor as of January 1, 2026

39. “Bob’s Burgers” daughter

40. Pay rate

41. Disinclined (to)

44. Whatever number

45. Consumer protection gp.

48. Former Dallas Cowboys guard on the NFL 2010s All-Decade Team

51. Back

52. More keen

53. “Filthy” money

54. “WarGames” org.

56. Youngest of a set of comedic film brothers

59. “Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe” author Fannie

60. “___ called to say I love you ...”

61. 2018 Super Bowl number

62. One-on-one student

63. “Ghostbusters” actress Annie

64. ___ Gala (annual NYC event)

DOWN

1. Dermatitis type

2. Faces courageously

3. Like some youthful charm

4. “Je t’___” (“I love you,” in French)

5. Lab evidence

6. The NBA’s Hawks, on a scoreboard

7. Aforementioned

8. Ginza’s city

9. Chips with a Chili Cheese variety

10. Crosses the International Date Line, perhaps

11. “I’ve made my move”

12. Celebrity gossip website

13. Buckeyes’ sch.

18. Extreme degree

22. Alma mater of Laura Bush, briefly

24. Harlem Renaissance author ___ Neale Hurston

25. Squares up

26. “Caprica” actor Morales

27. Fall behind

29. “All Songs Considered” network

31. Diver’s enclosure

32. Reddit Q&A feature

33. Part of a Buddhist title

35. “NCIS: Tony & ___” (2025 spinoff)

36. Like some diamonds, sizewise

37. “Death in Venice” author

Thomas

38. Not sweet, as wine

39. “Space Jam” character, familiarly

42. Mess up, as ink

43. Part of MRE

45. “Chill, will you?”

46. “Peter Pan” author

Last week’s answers

Complete the grid so that each row, column, diagonal and 3x3 square contain all of the numbers 1 to 9. No math is involved. The grid has numbers, but nothing has to add up to anything else. Solve the puzzle with reasoning and logic. Solving time is typically 10 to 30 minutes, depending on your skill and experience.

47. Portmanteau in 2016 U.K. news

49. Close again

50. Danny of “Machete”

51. Mojito liquor

53. A bunch

54. Theoretically uncopyable piece of digital art, for short

55. Jazz trumpeter/singer ___ Dara, Nas’s father

57. Stated

58. Seattle hrs.

NEWS of the WEIRD

Awesome!

Pope Francis’ popemobile has been repurposed as a mobile health clinic for children in war-torn Gaza, NBC News reported on Nov. 25. Francis used the vehicle during a visit to Bethlehem in 2014 and blessed the project before his death in April. The open platform where he stood has been enclosed and converted to a treatment area. Caritas, the Catholic organization tasked with the conversion, said the vehicle will be able to treat about 200 children per day.

Scrooge Lives

On Nov. 22 (which, arguably, is a tad early for Christmas carolers), Paul Brian Susie, 58, was taken into custody in Annapolis, Maryland, after he allegedly pointed a firearm at three 12-year-old girls who arrived at his house to sing Christmas carols. WMAR2-TV reported that the incident happened around 8:30 p.m. and that police recovered a loaded .40-caliber Glock handgun from Susie’s home. Exhibiting “loud and belligerent” behavior as he was questioned, Susie admitted to pointing the gun at the girls. He was charged with first- and seconddegree assault.

Precocious

On Nov. 14, a mom popped into W.A. Wright Elementary School in Mt. Juliet, Tennessee, to deliver some paperwork, leaving her 10-year-old son in the car outside. She returned to the parking lot to find the car gone, WSMV-TV reported, and assumed it had been stolen with her son inside. A witness said they’d seen the car driving recklessly out of the parking lot. But when police checked the family home about a mile away, they found the car in the garage and the child in the house with his dad. He explained that he’d had an argument with his mom and decided to drive himself home. Officers declined to charge the boy because he’s too young to be held criminally responsible.

Questionable Judgment

15-year-olds aren’t known for their excellent judgment, but this kid’s antics were on another level. On Nov. 24 in Jerusalem, firefighters were called to a 36-story skyscraper with a crane on top—and a 15-year-old atop the crane. The teenager was trapped on a small platform above the building. The kid told rescue teams he had scaled the crane around midnight to “see the view,” the Associated Press reported. Fire official Eyal Cohen said they’ve responded to a number of cases of young people scaling large buildings. “This is a serious incident that ended in a miracle,” Cohen said.

The Passing Parade

Kohl Bertels, 33, had an unusual explanation for breaking into a Circle K store on Nov. 23, eating a bag of beef jerky and drinking a sweet tea, The Smoking Gun reported: “I know you’re going to think I’m crazy,” he said, “but there is an AI intelligence speaker in my neck.” Bertels kicked through the glass door of the store in St. Charles, Missouri, around 2:15 a.m. He explained that the voices in his head told him to break the door, since it was locked. He faces charges of burglary and property damage, but it’s not his first rodeo: His rap sheet is full of felony burglary convictions.

Recurring Theme

A Buddhist temple near Bangkok, Thailand, was the site of an unsettling situation on Nov. 23 after a woman was brought in for cremation, the Associated Press reported. The “deceased” was in a white coffin that her brother delivered to the temple, but as workers went to unload the cargo from the bed of a pickup truck, her brother heard a faint knocking. “I asked them to open the coffin, and everyone was startled,” said the 65-year-old brother. “I saw her opening her eyes slightly and knocking on the side of the coffin. She must have been knocking for quite some time.” The woman’s brother said she stopped breathing two days before; after her startling recovery, she was sent to a local hospital.

Bright Idea

CNN reported on Nov. 25 that an unnamed 57-year-old man in Borgo Virgilio, Italy, dressed up as his mother, Graziella Dall’Oglio, and tried to renew her government ID card so that he could continue to collect her pension. He wore a wig, makeup and her clothing, but authorities were tipped off by the hair on his neck and chin. Inconveniently, the signora passed away in 2022 at age 82. Her son, an unemployed nurse, did not report her death to authorities. When they visited his home, they found his mother’s mummified body in the laundry room closet, wrapped in sleeping bags. An autopsy was ordered, and the son was held in a local jail.

But the Turkey Is Doing Fine

Two men resorted to gunplay on Nov. 13 at a Food Lion in High Point, North Carolina, WBTV reported, with one suffering a gunshot wound to the arm. It all started when one of the men argued with an employee over a turkey; the second man allegedly stepped in, and both of them left the store to get their guns. The two men shot at each other outside the store. Police said one man was interviewed by detectives, but it was unclear whether either had been charged.

Redneck Chronicles

Around 1 a.m. on Nov. 19, Hancock County (West Virginia) Sheriff’s officers responded to a call about a man suffering a gunshot wound while a rifle was being cleaned.

WKRC-TV reported that when officers arrived, two men at the home revealed the real story: They had been shooting out the second-story window of the home at rats, they said, and the gun went off when one man tried to take it from the other. The victim was transported to the hospital; homeowner Mark Fuller was charged with wanton endangerment involving a firearm and discharging a firearm within 500 feet of a dwelling.

Goals

In northern China, an unidentified 23-year-old man was the victor in a recent lying-flat contest, the South China Morning Post reported. The contest, held at a shopping mall on Nov. 15, started out with roughly 240 people lying flat on mattresses; 186 of them had quit within 24 hours. After 33 hours and 9 minutes, just three contestants were left, and the organizers upped the competition by asking the finalists to raise their arms and legs. “My girlfriend sent me a link to the competition and suggested I have a go,” the winner said. His prize was about $420. “I will use the money to treat my friends for a hotpot dinner,” he said.

It’s

Raining ...

A woman driving to work on Nov. 19 in Bryson City, North Carolina, was stunned when a cat fell from the sky and crashed through her windshield, shattering about half the glass on the passenger side. The Charlotte Observer reported that the cat had been seen by a witness struggling with the eagle that was flying with it; the car was traveling at about 55 mph when the cat made impact. The driver was uninjured, the cat didn’t make it, and the eagle made a quick exit.

It’s

a Mystery

Authorities in Flagler County, Florida, are trying to solve the mystery behind some “suspicious incidents,” Click Orlando reported. Between Nov. 12 and 17, in seven separate circumstances, a masked man was captured on surveillance video leaving a piece of wood and a $1 bill on front porches of homes. One family, who received two different deliveries, said the second one had writing on the wood: “The Midnight Stalker is coming for Palm Coast.” Flagler County Sheriff Rick Staly called the incidents “unnerving” and said the person could face charges of trespassing, loitering or prowling, and littering.