Separation anxiety – a real life story of overcoming this and how a product innovation resulted

Separation Anxiety

Clare Humphreys shares her inspirational experience of dealing with her dog Luna’s anxiety and how it led to her developing a new business venture: Luna With Me

Luna came into my life in July 2019 and I am so glad that she did. Like most owners, the puppy days were really tough. I remember crying in the shower because Luna would bark and cry whenever I was not with her and for a small dog she has a loud piercing bark!

I did try to crate train her but she would bark the entire time, so spent many nights with earplugs in. Once I came down in the middle of the night to check on her and she had got herself into such a state. She was noticeably stressed and panting in-between continuous barking. The worst bit was that she had pooped in the crate and it somehow it ended up all over her - I will spare you the details!

Ultimately the crate made her more anxious and she developed bad associations with it. So I tried a dog pen. She would spend short periods of the day in the area. I would give her treats, feed her in the pen and make it her own mini apartment. However, I would watch on the camera the moment I stepped outside, she would not eat and she developed a high jumping skill over the pen that could get her into the olympics.

At the time, I was living alone and had just moved into my new home. I couldn’t go to the gym or to yoga classes. I felt like any kind of social life was over, without sounding too dramatic.

I met with several dog sitters and eventually found an experienced dog sitter who had insurance for dog sitting. She would look after Luna and care for other dogs during the days I was at work. During that time the dog sitter would tell me that she would cry and try to escape, presumably to try and find me.

I had not heard of separation anxiety before, nor did I know that it could affect some dogs so severely but I could see she was anxious only when I was leaving.

She had become a super detective becoming noticeably anxious when I would put on my shoes or get my keys. I wanted to help her so I hired a dog behaviourist. We discovered that she had hyper-attachment to me - brilliant, my social life was definitively over!

The first thing we needed to work on was to reset all negative memories of departure. Any cues of leaving would need to be reconditioned. For example, I would randomly put my shoes

The specially designed Luna With Me dog beds provide support and comfort - using high grade upholstery and extra plump squishy bolster sides, to ensure that they don’t flatten quickly over time, unlike some dog beds.

on and not leave. I would pick up my keys and walk around the house. The hardest one for her was the front door. So countless times I would walk out and back in again, my neighbours probably thought I was bonkers but better that than a barking anxious dog.

I read a book called Be Right Back, by Julie Naismith, which I highly recommend. It helped me to understand why dogs develop separation anxiety.

Some breeds are more prone to separation anxiety so are born that way. Some think that it could have been that she was the last one in the litter to be collected or that she spent a lot of alone time with me. It could be a variety of things, it is hard to say. You could have two dogs from the same litter, one has separation anxiety and one doesn’t. Similar to us hoomans really!

I had committed to ceasing all departures and to not leave her alone at all. If we were going to try and build confidence then I needed to ensure there were no anxious negative associations around being left alone.

That is a big commitment for one person, so I needed support. I called upon my mother and gran to help with her on days I needed to go to work. At first, she would frantically bark for the first 5/10 minutes of me leaving which was hard for them. But now she goes with them at ease. From working with the dog behaviourist, I knew that creating a safe space for her was vital. I would take her dog bed with her to each of their houses and ask her to get into her bed before I left. This was her zone and safe space. Eventually, I would leave a bed at each of their houses. Just like shoes, you can never have too many dog beds!

I must have tested 20 different beds from anxiety donut beds to igloo beds. I noticed that dog beds with plump bolster sides would make her feel secure. She also loves being on the couch, usually against the sides or lying on a soft throw so I started to become aware of moments of relaxation and chill.

During lockdown 2020, like most, I had lots of time on my hands so decided to create a dog bed brand called Luna With Me. I designed luxury dog beds using high grade upholstery and extra plump squishy bolster sides, to ensure that they don’t flatten quickly overtime, unlike some dog beds.

The Luna With Me dog beds are designed to give dogs a den-like sense of security that they crave, whilst looking fabulous in your home. The dog beds are durable and machine washable with a removable inner cushion. They can be personalised with your dog’s name using silk thread embroidery. To compliment the Luna With Me dog beds we also have soft blankets that can be used on beds, sofas, cars and trips away.

I now have a dog bed in every room, which she confidentially takes herself to and falls asleep. Whereas before she would want to sleep at my feet or on my lap. It is huge progress.

If I look back on how far Luna has come, it makes me really proud of her.

Clare Humphreys used her lockdown to develop her new dog bed venture

I’ll never give up on her and have learnt so much about myself because of her. lunawithme.co.uk. Follow us on instagram @luna.withme and for every reader we will offer £5.00 off Luna With Me personalised luxury dog beds with code TGMAG5OFF