The Formula for Turning your Defining Moment into an UnStopABLE Decision!

“When a Defining Moment comes along, You can do one of two things: Define the Moment or let the Moment define you!” Tin Cup.

March 10, 2008.

A date I will never forget. I used to remember this date because it was the birthday of a good friend of mine. Now all I can remember it for is the day that three words changed my life. “You Are Fired!” It still rattles me to the core when I think about it. This day would forever change my life. This day would be known as “My Defining Moment!”

Dictionary.com defines a defining moment as:A point at which the essential nature or character of a person, group, etc., is revealed or identified.

As I worked thru my “Defining Moment”, Life revealed to me the formula needed to overcome the obstacles that I faced in that moment and how they ultimately lead to me finding my purpose.

I worked for that agency for over 10 years and I considered it my “Good Government Job!” You know that job you could work at forever, get all the government holidays and eventually retire with the “gold watch!” That job was good to me and good for me. Over the course of the 10 years, it enabled me to save enough money to get married, buy a house and purchase my DREAM car on my 40th birthday! That job allowed me to experience the “American Dream” that I heard so many people speak of growing up.

I can remember my supervisor standing outside of my office as I gathered my things into a cardboard box. Who would guess that after 10 years, everything that belonged to me could fit in a cardboard box! That is what 10 years of working at that job had amounted to; a simple cardboard box and an escort out of the door.

Have you ever had a situation where you were so embarrassed by the situation that you didn’t want anyone to see you? You just wanted to sneak out of the room, get in your car and like the Southwest Airlines commercial says, “You Wanna Get Away???”

For you, maybe it was not the embarrassment of losing a job. Maybe you were embarrassed by that work project that “blew up in your face!” Maybe the business deal you worked so hard to put together did not get the funding you needed. Maybe your world was crushed when the relationship you thought you wanted….didn’t want YOU! That “Defining Moment” left me with many unresolved feelings and forced me to face some uncomfortable truths about myself.

Obstacle #1: Dealing with my feelings

Feelings of embarrassment. Feelings of shame. Feelings of anger. Feelings of blame. Feelings of contempt for my superiors who did not seem to care how I would take care of my own family from this point on. Feelings of anxiety about what would happen next.

If you are anything like me, you probably can reflect back to a time where fear and embarrassment has stopped you in your tracks! Like me, you would have preferred to suffer in silence rather than bring pain or shame to your family because of something you did.

Obstacle #2: Dealing with the Truth

The truth of the matter is I was not satisfied with my “Good Government Job.” I had all the trappings of what people considered “success”, but I just was not happy. Can anyone of you relate to that feeling? While I enjoyed all of the benefits of the job, deep down inside I was yearning for more. The passion for the job was gone and a burning desire for something more had taken its place. I dreamed of a lifestyle that gave me time and flexibility to make my own hours. I wanted to be available for my family. I wanted to travel at a moment’s notice without asking permission. There was a popular lyric back in the day by the O’Jays that said, “Your body’s here with me, but your mind is on the other side of town.” That is exactly how I felt.

The truth of the matter is that I was doing just enough to “hold on” to this job while I figured out my next move. I had become bored with 10 years of doing the same job and I was no longer challenged. According to a 2013 article posted on www.glassdoor.com/blog, boredom is one of the “Top 10 reasons to breakup with your job”. I had a desire to move, but fear made me stay.

My “Defining Moment” forced me to face the truth!” Each one of you will have a “defining moment” in your life. How you act and react to that moment will determine how that moment defines you. Your “Defining Moment” can lead to an “UnStopABLE Decision” if you follow some of the tips in this article.

Being fired encouraged me to pursue my dreams. Once I made my decision to make something out of my defining moment, I was set on a path towards being Unstoppable! There were four principles I learned throughout this journey that I will share with you in hopes you can be Unstoppable too! Here is the first decision you have to make and it is rather simple.

TIP #1: Start

You can never hope to achieve anything unless you start something. For me, I had to begin making big changes. I had to decide to start a new career. So for the next 6 months after my termination, I invested my time and money in pursuing my dream of really helping people in a more personal, intimate way than what I did now. I started a life coach-certification program and became certified within 8 weeks. Starting something rejuvenated my spirit and took away my feelings of depression and despair. I felt like I was worthy again and saw a future filled with helping others achieve their dreams as well. Your Defining moment has the POWER to force you to START living the rest of your life! The key is to TAKE ACTION and don’t be afraid to fail.

TIP #2: Fail: Don’t be afraid to FAIL

Nothing beats a failure like a try, but if you never try, you have already failed by default. “Failure is part of the process”. If you never fail, you will never learn to succeed. Once upon a time, a company wanted to create a new product to help cut grease on stoves and countertops. They came up with a formula and they tested it. The 1st one failed to work. They modified and tested the formula again. They tested it 5 times, 10 times, 50 times with no success! They tweaked the formula and refused to give up on the idea. They tested the formula 100 times, 200 times, 300 times and 400 times. It still failed. The company surely would not have been blamed for stopping the tests at this point, but they did not stop. Test numbers 401 thru 408 also failed. One more tweak and one more test took place. Finally, a formula was found that worked for the company! What is that product? FORMULA 409: the most popular degreaser on the market used by millions of customers around the world. Imagine if that company has given up. Imagine if they had allowed fear of failure to get the best of them. If you are honest with yourself, can you say you have tried over 409 times to build your business, improve your personal development or create that next Unstoppable idea? Probably not.

I couldn’t let the possibility of “failure” stop me from following thru on my Unstoppable decision. The same will hold true for you and your decisions. Keep trying. Keep following the process and see what you can learn from each failed attempt.

TIP #3: LEARN I’ve started a lot of things in my life and I have failed at a lot of things in life. In the process of failing at those things, I’ve learned some things that have led to my ultimate success. With each lesson, I’m continuing to write my success story.

Once you recognize that learning is part of the process, you will be on your way to having your Unstoppable decision become an ultimate success. So what are the lessons that you need to learn from your past failures? What is it that you can do differently now that would lead to your ultimate success down the line? For me, I had to learn to step out on faith and pursue the career I wanted for myself. It has not been an easy decision, but it has been worth it. I also learned that I didn’t have to do it alone. I learned that there were people I could ask for help, for guidance and for coaching. Because I was willing to ask for that help, I was able to move faster and farther than I’ve ever been on my own. I am not where I want to be as of yet, but I am learning to be who I was created to be each day. Moreover, because of that, I feel like more of a success each day.

TIP #4: SUCCEED

Many famous celebrities and have followed the process of Start, Fail, Learn, Succeed to reach the pinnacles of their status. Walt Disney in 1919 was fired from the Kansas City Star newspaper stating he lacked imagination and no good ideas. He failed at that, but didn’t stop. Disney owned a company called “Laugh-O-Gram” and drove it into bankruptcy. He failed again, but didn’t give up. He learned from his failures, tweaked his ideas and later created a dynasty based around a mouse, Mickey Mouse. Now the Disney Company celebrates 50 years of success in entertainment, theme parks and cinema.

Oprah Winfrey was fired from one of her early jobs in the news industry. Now she owns a media conglomerate called the OWN Network. These are just a few examples of people who have started and failed, but learned to succeed. They are and were ordinary people like you and me. Success is possible for anyone. If they can do it, you can too! “I am not where I want to be, but thank GOD I am not where I used to be!” I say these words to myself frequently when I face a failure in my life. I use this phrase as a way to reflect on the journey of my life after I made my Unstoppable Decision. My goal is to be the best life accountability coach, speaker, emcee and media host I can be. And while my coaching clients have increased, my emcee business had blossomed and my media shows have gained traction, I still have room to grow. I have had success in my new career and I use that as the fuel needed to pursue future success.

I believe the same is in store for you if you just follow the process. That’s my message for you right now. Whatever you are going thru now and whatever you have failed at recently, recognize that Failure is not Fatal. It is not the end of the book; it is just the beginning of your new chapter. Once you recognize that you must START, FAIL and LEARN in order to SUCCEED, nothing will be able to STOP you. You have the ABILITY to Define Your Moment with an Unstoppable Decision. You have the ABILITY to make a difference in your life and the lives of your family, friends and community. You will not only have the ABILITY to live the life you were created to live, you will NOT BE ABLE to be STOPPED by the obstacles of Life. You will be UnStopABLE!!! Why would you ever settle for less when you can Be UnStopABLE?

If you need some additional help and coaching to help you Define Your Moment instead of having it Define You, then consider contacting me for a complimentary conversation with Unstoppable Coaching Services. We aim to help you Create your Vision, Implement your Vision and hold you Accountable to living the life you were created to live! Sign up on the contact page at www.unstoppablecoaching.com.

While you’re there, you can check out my upcoming events, listen to past episodes of my “UnStopABLE Stories” podcast and purchase your own “I Am Unstopable” apparel.

Wherever you are in the World today, don’t just make it a great day. Make it an UnStopABLE” Day!

~Terrance Leftridge