BROWNLady
the
Chowan University
An Academic Magazine with a Creative Spirit
Vol. 2 • 2014
Mission Statement Welcome to The Brown Lady 2014, Chowan University’s flagship academic and creative publication. Between these pages are the best work of students working in the visual arts, creative writing (poetry and prose), musical composition, and academic papers examining religion, history, myth, and medicine. The range is wide, eclectic, and unapologetic, pursued with a passion that is the mark of Chowan scholars all working beyond the classroom. The Brown Lady 2014—our second edition—is proud to present these young scholars. They respect their disciplines while seeking to find new forms of expression, argument, and creative flair. We salute their desire to study in ways extra-curricula to their degree requirements, and we are pleased to showcase their work all together, for our second volume. As the cover shows, the antique lantern of the McDowell Columns Building illuminates a new generation of intellectual and artistic life at Chowan University.
Dr. Matt Fullerty Assistant Professor of English Creative Writing Chowan University, April 2014
Editorial Board
Nancy Altstatt English Major and Default Loan Specialist
Charles Futrell Director for Printing Production
David Ballew Associate Professor of History
Jennifer Groves Assistant Professor of Graphic Communications
Lindsay Brook English Major
Craig Janney Dean of Admissions
Jordan Burland Religion and Mathematics Major
Danny Moore Professor of History
Victor Chilaka English Major
Bruce Moser Assistant Professor of Music
Victoria Davis-Gillis Psychology Major
Cynthia Nicholson Associate Professor of English
Matthew Fullerty Assistant Professor of English
Reid Sheckler Assistant Director for Printing Production
The Brown Lady
2014
Published by:
Honors College Student Association English Club Printed by the Wm. A. Krueger School of Graphic Communications
Table of Contents Academic Papers The Tuskegee Syphilis Study by Michele Lawrence . . . . . . . . . . 5 A Southern Man With His Own Sensibilities by Jake Thornton . . . . . 13 Blood Countess by Jennifer Humphrey . . . . . . . . . . . . .
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For the Love of God by Jordan Card . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
23
V isual Art Lotus Flower Set by Ariana Munden . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 31 Eddie the Termite by Macaulay Chilaka, Jr.. . . . . . . . . . . .
32
Mary & Jesus by Macaulay Chilaka, Jr.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . 33 Horse & Foal by Macaulay Chilaka, Jr.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . 34 Cross Country Poster by Adam Kerns. . . . . . . . . . . . . 35-36 Sorrowful by Nfon Asuquo. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 37 360 by Nfon Asuquo. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 38 Balance by Nfon Asuquo . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 39
Music The White Heron by Tyrell Gallop . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 42 I Need You (Outta My Head) by Courtney Baggett . . . . . . . . . 42
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Table of Contents Poetry Falling In Hate by Victor Chilaka. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 45 The Reoccurring Royal War by Victor Chilaka . . . . . . . . . . . 46 The Girl I Once Was by Janice Hopkins . . . . . . . . . . . . . 46 My Love by James Hamilton. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 47 Diary by James Hamilton . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 47 More than a Friend by Alexis Bracy. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 48 The Tiger and the Monkey by Alexis Bracy . . . . . . . . . . . . 48 I Song by Josh Gibbs. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 49 Red,White & Blue by Jesus Downing . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 49 Bird Song by Jesus Downing . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 49 Memory Lost by Jesus Downing. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 50 A Foreign Land by Graham Hobbs . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 50 Shipwreck by Angelica Satchell . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 51 Inspiration by Nancy Altstatt . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 52 Thoughts on a Cold Day by Nancy Altstatt . . . . . . . . . . . . 53 The Day He Came Home by Mackenzie Reid . . . . . . . . . . . 54 What My Eyes See by Beverly Kwakye . . . . . . . . . . . . . 54 Tiny Sirens by Aaron Palmer. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 55
Prose Regret by Jessica Vallejos. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
57
Red Anomaly by Sarah Smith . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 59 The Hallmark Holiday by Lindsey Brook. . . . . . . . . . . . . 62 From My Eyes: My Story by Atiya Spencer . . . . . . . . . . . . 67
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Academic Papers The Tuskegee Syphilis Study by Michele Lawrence………………………………………………. 5 A Southern Man With His Own Sensibilities by Jake Thornton…………………………………………………. . 13 Blood Countess by Jennifer Humphrey……………………………………………. . 19
For the Love of God by Jordan Card……………………………………………………. 23
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The Tuskegee Syphilis Study: The Path to Government Reform for Human Experimentation
Michele Lawrence
Today, participants in a medical research study believe there will be little risk to their health and safety. Many regulations ensure this. Until the late twentieth century, these government guidelines were nonexistent. Local medical societies and state licensing agencies only sporadically regulated doctors. Without regulatory boards, doctors treated their patients by any method they considered effective. Nearly one hundred years ago, a group of government doctors implemented a syphilis study using poor black men as subjects. The mistreatment by the U.S. Government from the 1930’s through the 1970’s of over six hundred indigent men led to the bioethical reforms that protect human subjects of medical and behavioral experimentation today. Syphilis is a sexually transmitted disease induced by a spirochete bacterium. Between ten and ninety days after the initial infection, a chancre, or sore, develops at the point where the bacteria entered the body. If the victim receives no treatment, the disease evolves to the secondary stage approximately a week after the chancre disappears. Symptoms at this stage include rashes on palms and soles of feet, hair loss, fever, headaches, fatigue, and swollen lymph nodes.1 Without treatment the disease progresses to the latent stage, which can last for years. At this point, patients require blood tests to detect syphilis. If there is still no treatment, the tertiary stage may develop at any time in the victim’s life. The most damage occurs at the tertiary stage. By destroying nerve cells, the disease could result in blindness or deafness. In some cases, bone deteriorates. Syphilis can soften the brain, causing insanity, or destroy spinal cord nerves. Since nerve cells do not regenerate, this damage is irreversible. 2 If syphilis passes congenitally from mother to child, stillbirth or infant death may result. Without treatment the child may suffer developmental problems or seizures. Doctors possessed this information in the 1930’s when the government began campaigns to urge the public to get tested and seek treatment for syphilis. At this time, medical professionals theorized that blacks with syphilis would be more likely than whites to have cardiovascular symptoms. 3 These symptoms include weakening of the heart wall and heart valves which could lead to aneurism. Before the mid-twentieth century, syphilis treatments involved arsenic and mercury compounds such as calomel and Salvarsan. To cure the disease, doctors administered twenty to forty doses of the arsenic Salvarsan through painful injections over a year.4 Side effects for these inadequate early forms of chemotherapy included tooth loss, nerve damage and possibly death. In 1928, scientists discovered penicillin and by 1943 doctors acknowledged it as effective cure for syphilis. By 1952, penicillin emerged as a widely available antibiotic. A single dose of penicillin cures syphilis if the victim has been infected for less than a year. Those infected for longer periods require additional doses of the medicine. 5
Tuskegee Study . . . Michele Lawrence
During World War I, the United States experienced an increase in the number of armed forces recruits suffering from venereal diseases, including syphilis.This resulted in the creation by Congress of the Division of Venereal Diseases within the U.S. Public Health Service. This service educated the public about social hygiene, treatment and prevention of venereal diseases. The programs created by the Public Health Service (PHS) to eradicate venereal diseases flourished in urban areas, but lacked effectiveness in rural areas where health care was unaffordable to the impoverished population. In 1930, with a grant from the Rosenwald fund, a foundation that supported education and health care programs for blacks, PHS began a one-year treatment program for rural counties in six southern states. This served as a model for future programs. PHS workers carried out the Wasserman blood tests used to detect syphilis and provided minimal arsenic and mercury treatments to arrest the contagion of the disease. Macon County, Alabama demonstrated the highest rate of syphilis infection of these six counties at thirty-six percent. Macon County proved to be one of the poorest counties in the program. African Americans composed eighty-two percent of the population. Brutal living conditions existed in Macon County for blacks, most of whom were sharecroppers. Many lived in shacks with no screens in the windows. In the 1940 census, 4,500 out of 5,205 farm dwellings needed major repairs.5 Since no indoor plumbing existed in the homes, people obtained most of their drinking water from uncovered wells that collected runoff from the land. Only homes with no underbrush available for privacy contained privies. People traveled by foot, horse, or ox cart. They lacked money for cars or for health care. The combined dearth of health care and high rate of syphilis presented the PHS doctors with what they considered a unique opportunity: to study the effects of untreated syphilis in black males. The results of a retrospective study done in Oslo, Norway from 1890 to 1910 of 2,000 patients who were hospitalized with primary and secondary syphilis indicated that additional syphilis studies were needed. This study showed that the immune systems of patients who were given little or no treatment were adequate to fight the infection.6 The study results appeared to show that the absence of treatment was safer and as effective as the dangerous medical treatment of the era. Medical professionals believed that disease affected blacks differently than in whites, despite scientific findings to the contrary. Even though the Rosenwald Fund discontinued support of syphilis programs in 1932 due to the Great Depression, the PHS doctors decided to continue work in Macon County Alabama. They planned a study lasting six to twelve months to observe the course of untreated syphilis in black males. The PHS rehired Eunice Rivers, the African American nurse who worked for the Rosenwald program, as an assistant. Dr. Taliaferro Clark, head of the PHS Venereal Disease Division, sought the alliance of the Alabama Board of Health on the condition that each syphilitic subject would be treated, but the amount of treatment was not specified. PHS arranged an agreement with nearby Tuskegee Institute, one of the first and most prestigious black universities, for the use of its facilities for medical tests. None of the Institute’s staff participated in the study. PHS included the Tuskegee Institute, as well as African American doctors from John A. Andrew Memorial Hospital, as part of the scheme to gain the trust of the black community in Macon County. Dr. R. A.Vonderlehr headed the Tuskegee Study of Untreated Syphilis in the Negro Male.
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Tuskegee Study . . . Michele Lawrence The Public Health Service doctors decided approximately 400 men over the age of twenty-five who had been infected with the disease for at least five years were needed to have a scientifically valid study.7 They prohibited the use of women as subjects; since the initial symptoms of syphilis appear on the sex organs, it would be easier for men to recall the date of the original infection. At first, PHS posted announcements for the Wasserman tests as free medical tests and conducted exams in places where both men and women congregated. As this brought an equal number of women as men, the doctors started administering the tests at worksites.Thinking this would improve their employees’ health, white employers agreed to this practice. Of the men given the Wasserman test, 399 tested positive for latent syphilis and were included in the study. These men also received chest x-rays, electrocardiograms, and gave extensive medical histories. No one told these men what the tests were for. The men who tested positive were told they had “bad blood”, a euphemism that covered a wide variety of ailments. The U. S. government never asked the Macon County men to participate in any study.The syphilitics and control subjects did not realize they were being studied. No one told the men they had syphilis. The last medical procedures given were spinal taps to test for neurosyphilis. Nurse Rivers brought twenty men per day to Andrews Hospital who stayed overnight to keep word of the painful procedure from frightening the others away. The spinal taps should have been the end of the study. In a letter to Dr. Clark dated April 8, 1933, Dr. Vonderlehr first brought up the idea to extend the study for five to ten more years. This letter also mentioned the idea to perform autopsies on the subjects. As Dr.Vonderlehr stated, “...it seems a pity to me to lose such an unusual opportunity.”8 After deciding to continue the study, the doctors determined a control group was needed.They added two hundred and one men who tested negative in 1932. Over the next thirty-nine years, the study participants obtained annual medical exams. Because of the poverty that was rampant in Macon County, the men considered it a treat to be picked up by Nurse Rivers and taken to Tuskegee Institute for the exams. This was a chance to visit a place they’d heard about but never would be able to see otherwise. They received hot meals on exam days and an opportunity to visit with other study participants. These men took pride in being a part of a government program and thought they were being given good medical care. In truth, any medications dispensed were placebos, vitamins, or aspirins. The men involved in the Tuskegee Syphilis Study did not receive penicillin for any reason, even after it became available as a cure for syphilis in the mid 1940’s. The government doctors went to great lengths to ensure that the study participants would not be treated for syphilis. Doctors and medical facilities in the area received lists of participants so penicillin wouldn’t be given inadvertently for other ailments. PHS even circumvented the draft in WWII. The draft board routinely examined draftees for syphilis, among other things, and sent those testing positive to treatment centers. In the 1973 U. S. Senate Hearings on Human Experimentation, study participant Herman Shaw recounted his experience of being taken to a treatment center then being sent back home on a bus after receiving no treatment. A nurse at the Birmingham, AL center told him he wasn’t supposed to be there and he received no further information about the incident. 9
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Tuskegee Study . . . Michele Lawrence
The PHS promised free hospitalization for seriously ill study participants. This benefit insured that autopsies would be performed. Since most patients died at home and were buried without autopsies, the government doctors created a new scheme. Deemed “Miss Rivers Lodge”, this benefit promised the families free burial in exchange for the permission to autopsy the study participants. This incentive increased retention of participants in the study and notification by families to Nurse Rivers immediately after the participant’s death. The only other benefit the men obtained was a 25 year participation certificate and $25.00 in 1958. The Tuskegee Syphilis Study was never a secret. Reports appeared infrequently in respected medical journals.The first report occurred in 1936, four years after the study began, and the doctors published only fifteen reports in the forty year duration of the study.10 Dr. O. C.Wenger, who was the Director of the PHS Venereal Disease Clinic in Arkansas, presented the Tuskegee Syphilis Study in a seminar in 1950.11 Some of the PHS doctors worried about how their peers would view the validity of the study, but only one doctor mentioned the lack of treatment for the syphilitic men. It wasn’t until 1966 that someone finally objected to the unethical treatment of these men. Peter Buxton, a Public Health Service interviewer, overheard another PHS employee discuss a participant who had gone insane, been diagnosed with syphilis and treated outside the Macon County area. The employee mentioned that the Centers for Disease Control were concerned this would cause a problem with the statistics of the study. Mr. Buxton requested and received the complete files for the Tuskegee Syphilis Study and found many indications that the subjects weren’t aware they had syphilis. He warned his superiors that if the public, enmeshed in the Civil Rights Movement, discovered the study government funding for other PHS projects would be jeopardized.12 Mr. Buxton’s supervisor forwarded the report to the CDC regardless of possibly losing his job. Buxton also wrote to the chief of PHS Venereal Disease Division, Dr. William J. Brown, and despite a meeting with Dr. Brown, still no action was taken. In 1972, Buxton, who by then had quit PHS and entered law school, spoke to an Associated Press reporter about the study. Jean Heller acquired the story and her article appeared in The Washington Star on July 25, 1972. The article appeared on the front page of The New York Times the day after that. Learning of the study through the investigation by Ms. Heller, Dr. Merlin K. DuVal, Assistant Secretary of the Department of Health, Education and Welfare (DHEW), began an immediate investigation. Events started happening after the article was published. In August of 1972, Dr. DuVal called for an Ad Hoc Advisory Committee. The panel of nine members encompassed different professions including medical, legal, education, labor, and education. Dr. DuVal presented the panel with three charges to investigate: Was the study justified in 1932 and should it have continued after penicillin was available? Should the study continue, or how should it be terminated considering the rights and health needs of the participant? And do the existing guidelines for research need to be modified?13 For the first charge, the committee stated that while the study could have been valuable had it been constructed better, it only provided historical information.The committee ruled it to be ethically unjustified in 1932.14 The committee answered the second charge on October 27, 1972 with the recommendation for immediate termination and treatment for the survivors for any study related health problems. 8
Tuskegee Study . . . Michele Lawrence
Any benefits promised during the study remained in effect. Although nothing more could be learned by the study, the committee noted that was not the reason for this recommendation.15 The committee responded to the third charge by acknowledging that there were problems with ethics throughout all research. The committee requested the creation of a National Human Investigation Board to oversee federally-funded research and the revision of existing research guidelines.16 They emphasized the need for informed consent Investigators found determining the total number of subjects at the termination of the study difficult. PHS accepted new subjects in the study as men disappeared from the study by leaving the area with no contact information, or as control subjects contracted syphilis and moved to the infected group. The Tuskegee men learned of the study through the media like the rest of the world. By 1973, 419 men had died and left medical records. Doctors performed autopsies on only thirty-six percent of these men and the cause of death for one hundred men was undetermined.17 PHS, in addition to issuing a paucity of reports, kept insufficient records of the study. In 1972, study survivor Charlie Pollard initiated a lawsuit against the government. Allegations held that only poor, southern, rural African Americans were tested and used for subjects.The government did not inform subjects that they were participating in a study, or that they suffered from syphilis. The government gave the impression that the subjects were given adequate care, although they were never actually treated. The lawsuit also alleged that the government participated in genocide.18 The U.S. Government settled for ten million dollars. The surviving syphilitics received $37,000; heirs of the deceased syphilitics received $15,000; surviving control subjects received $16,000; and heirs of the control subjects received $5,000.19 On July 12, 1974, The National Research Act was signed into law. This Act established the National Commission for the Human Subjects of Biomedical and Behavioral Research. The Secretary of the DHEW appointed eleven panel members who belonged to the same professions recommended by the Ad Hoc Advisory Committee. The Commission identified the basic ethic principles for research involving humans and developed guidelines to be followed by those conducting this type of research.20 This resulted in the Belmont Report, which is the summary of the ethical guidelines determined by the Commission. The Belmont Report describes the difference between treatment and experimental research. The report defines treatment as therapy that is routinely prescribed.The Belmont Report determines research to be therapies used to test a hypothesis. It allows for conclusions to be drawn and added to the knowledge base.21 It declares three basic principles of ethics when dealing with research with human subjects. These principles are respect for people, beneficence, and justice.22 Researchers should respect the subjects’ ability to make their own decisions. If subjects are unable to make these decisions, such as children or prisoners, they require protection by the researchers. Researchers should maximize the benefits of the research and minimize the harm. Researchers decide who in society will bear the burden of research, and who should benefit. Historically, the poor are subjected to research while the wealthy reap the benefits. The Code of Federal Regulation 45 CFR 46 is the resulting legislation. This applies to all research using human subjects that is conducted, supported or subject to regulation by the U.S. Government. This code requires that the institutions performing regulated research agree to the policy requirements in 9
Tuskegee Study . . . Michele Lawrence writing. An Institutional Review Board (IRB) must approve proposed research and the ethical code used to protect subjects provided. 23 The research institution provides the IRB with a written set of procedures to follow as well as for reporting. The IRB approves, disapproves, or modifies research. The board ensures the informed consent complies with government guidelines.24 In order for the IRB to approve the research, risks to the subjects must be reasonable and minimized. Subjects must be selected by a method that is fair and equitable. Informed consent by the subject or subject’s legally authorized representative must be properly documented. If the subjects are vulnerable, such as children or prisoners, other safeguards must be available. The 45 CFR 46 defines guidelines for informed consent.These guidelines state that any information will be given to the subject in language he can understand and the subject will be given time to decide whether or not to participate. Consent isn’t valid if the research institution requires the subject to waive any rights or if it releases the institution from any liability.The institution must provide the potential subject with the purpose for the research, the expected duration of the study, explanation of all procedures and state which procedures are experimental. The institution must let the subject know any risks that may occur. The researcher discloses any expected benefits and alternative treatments that are available. Research participants must be told that they can quit at any time and be advised of any new information that becomes available during the experiment.25 In January 1996, the Tuskegee Syphilis Study Legacy Committee convened at Tuskegee Institute to encourage a Presidential apology for the study and to help make amends for the damage to the Tuskegee community caused by the study. The committee felt the apology was necessary due to the debasement the community and Tuskegee Institute suffered unfairly because of the study. The syphilis study will always be associated with Tuskegee and overshadows the positive things the university has done.This study increased the fear and mistrust African Americans have of the government and medical profession and is seen as a major reason for lack of African American participation in research, organ donation and preventive health care. The committee recommended that the government set up training programs for health care providers, a public education center for the study, and a scholarship for ethics in scientific research. As stated by the committee, “Regret for past mistakes must be accompanied by a determination to prevent future wrongs.”26 On May 16, 1997, President Clinton apologized to five study survivors who were present at the White House ceremony and to the family members of others. He acknowledged the betrayal of the study subjects by the medical personnel and the U.S. government. Clinton stated, “You did nothing wrong, but you were grievously wronged.”27 During the speech, the President announced that a memorial would be built at Tuskegee Institute and the establishment of a center of bioethics in research and health care. He made a commitment to provide bioethic postgraduate fellowships and called for the creation of the National Bioethics Advisory Commission for additional protection of research participants. Unfortunately the Tuskegee Syphilis Study was not an isolated incident. In the 1950’s, doctors at Willowbrook State Hospital deliberately infected mentally retarded children with hepatitis to test the effectiveness of gamma globulin antibodies.28 In 1963, doctors at Jewish Chronic Disease Hospital injected twenty-two non-cancer patients with live cancer cells to discover if the cancer cells lived longer in chronically ill patients. Disturbingly, the U.S. Public Health Service conducted another syphilis study in Guatemala in the 1940’s. In this study, PHS doctors deliberately infected Guatemalan prisoners and soldiers with syphilis using sex workers. When this method failed to work quickly enough, doctors injected potential subjects with syphilis. Unlike the men in Macon County, these research subjects received penicillin. However, the study ended abruptly and it is unknown whether all the subjects were treated.29 10
Tuskegee Study . . . Michele Lawrence
One cannot consider the Tuskegee Syphilis Study an experiment or a valid study for reasons other than the ethical implications. Frequent changes of PHS staff occurred throughout the forty years of the study. Doctors found procedural continuity impossible due to lack of a written protocol for PHS doctors to follow. The fact that every male in the county was not tested skewed the validity of the selection of participants. When going door to door for blood tests proved to be time consuming and expensive, PHS posted notices announcing when and where the doctors would be providing free medical tests. A more valid pool of subjects would include whites and blacks, males and females. In addition, most of the “untreated cases” received very minimal treatment with metals therapies after the initial six county program in 1930. The PHS doctors did not publish journal reports on a regular basis. Even the Oslo, Norway study, on which the Public Health Service originally based the Tuskegee study, contained flaws. Since the Wasserman blood test was not available at the time, Norwegian doctors lacked confirmation that their subjects actually had syphilis. The fact that the Oslo results were based on the retrospective medical histories of just a small fraction, twenty percent, of the patients included in the original study presents another question of validity. The Public Health Service doctors subjected no fewer than 623 vulnerable men to needless agony for a study that had no value at all. Syphilis is a devastating disease that can now be easily cured if caught early. Beginning in the 1930’s, the U. S. Government deceived over 600 men by including them without their knowledge or consent in the Tuskegee Syphilis Study. The government doctors chose these men because they were poor, black, and afflicted with syphilis.The doctors offered free medical services to them, but in reality went to great lengths to withhold treatment. The U.S. terminated the Tuskegee Syphilis Study forty years after it began amid public outcry. By this time most of the men were dead. Even though these men suffered for a study that was so poorly constructed that it was useless, we owe them a debt of gratitude. People realized something needed to be done to protect those participating as subjects in research. We now have government guidelines and regulations to make sure research subjects are treated with respect. These regulations require researchers to minimize the risks and include subjects who are part of the group that benefits from the research. The United States Government issued these regulations so a tragedy like the Tuskegee Syphilis Study never happens again.
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Tuskegee Study . . . Michele Lawrence References
1 Amy L. Sutton, Sexually Transmitted Diseases Sourcebook: Basic Consumer Health Information about Chlamydial Infections, Gonorrhea, Hepatitis, Herpes, HIV/AIDS, Human Papillomavirus, Pubic Lice, Scabies, Syphilis, Trichomoniasis,Vaginal Infections, and Other Sexually Transmitted Diseases... (Detroit, MI: Omnigraphics, 2006), 259. 2 James H. Jones, Bad Blood: The Tuskegee Syphilis Experiment (New York: Free Press, 1981), 3.
17 Susan M. Reverby, Examining Tuskegee: The Infamous Syphilis Study and Its Legacy (Chapel Hill: University of North Carolina Press, 2009), 118. 18 Gray, The Tuskegee Syphilis Study, 87-88. 19 Ibid., 98. 20 National Research Act, 93-348 (Washington, D.C., 1974), 349, accessed June 8, 2012, http://history.nih.gov/ research/downloads/PL93-348.pdf.
4 Jones, Bad Blood, 45.
21 U.S. National Commission for the Protection of Human Subjects of Biomedical and Behavioral Research, Belmont Report (Washington, D.C.: GPO, 1979), P-2 part A, accessed May 31, 2012, http://www.hhs.gov/ohrp/ humansubjects/guidance/belmont.html.
5 Fred D. Gray, The Tuskegee Syphilis Study: The Real Story and Beyond (Montgomery, AL: Black Belt Press, 1998), 28.
22 U.S. National Commission for the Protection of Human Subjects of Biomedical and Behavioral Research, Belmont Report, P-2 part B.
6 Susan M. Reverby, Tuskegee’s Truths: Rethinking the Tuskegee Syphilis Study (Chapel Hill, NC: University of North Carolina Press, 2000), 204. 7 Gray, The Tuskegee Syphilis Study, 49.
23 U. S. Department of Health and Human Service, Code of Federal Regulations, Title 45 Public Welfare (Washington, D.C.: GPO, 2009), 46.103, accessed June 1, 2012, http://www.hhs.gov/ohrp/humansubjects/ guidance/45cfr46.html.
8 Reverby, Tuskegee’s Truths 83.
24 Ibid., 46-109.
9 Ibid., 144.
25 Ibid., 46-116.
10 Jean Heller, “Syphilis Victims in U.S. Study Went Untreated for 40 Years,” New York Times, July 26, 1972, accessed June 1, 2012, http://pages.uoregon. edu/eherman/teaching/texts/Heller%20Syphilis%20 Victims%20in%20U.S.%20Study.pdf.
26 Final Report of the Tuskegee Syphilis Study Legacy Committe , report (1996), Section 3, accessed June 1, 2012, http://www. hsl. virginia.edu/historical/medical_ history/bad_blood/report.cfm.
3 Michael Jordan, HushHush: The Dark Secrets of Scientific Research (Toronto, Ont.: Firefly Books, 2003), 172.
11 Gray, The Tuskegee Syphilis Study 61 12 Reverby, Tuskegee’s Truths, 151. 13 U. S., Department of Health, Education, and Welfare, Public Health Service, Final Report of the Tuskegee Syphilis Ad Hoc Advisory Panel (Washington, D.C.: GPO, 1973), 2, accessed June 1, 2012, http://biotech.law.lsu. edu/cphl/history/reports/tuskegee/tuskegee.htm. 14 Ibid., 7. 15 Ibid., 18-20. 16 Ibid., 39.
27 U.S. President, speech, “Remarks by the President in Apology for Study Done in Tuskegee” (1997), Centers for Disease Control and Prevention Archives, accessed May 31, 2012, http://www.cdc.gov/tuskegee/clintonp.htm. 28 Jeanne Ting Chowning, “Module 5. Research Ethics: The Power and Peril of Human Experimentation,” in Exploring Bioethics (Washington, D.C.:GPO, 2009), 5.1. 29 U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Findings from a CDC Report on the 1946-1948 U.S. Public Health Service Sexually Transmitted Disease (STD) Innoculation Study (Washington, D.C.: GPO, 2010), accessed May 31, 2012, http://www.hhs. gov/1946innoculationstudy/findings.html. 12
A Southren Man With His Own Sensibilities: Lyndon Johnson’s Attempts to Bring the South Back to the Democratic Party
Jake Thornton
For much of its electoral history, the South has been considered as “solid.” The eleven states that made up the Confederacy have often voted as a bloc, particularly since they seceded, and always voted Democratic. Occasionally, a candidate would break into the South for a couple of states, but it was usually a foregone conclusion that the Democrats would win the region. In 1960, however, the Democrats had begun to worry about their chances there. The past three elections had shown signs of concern, signs of breaks in the “Solid South” that the Democratic Party found disconcerting. This fracturing had caused the Democrats to make it a point of focus in the 1960 election, while walking a fine line between endorsing Civil Rights and not alienating the key Southern demographic. To try to bring the South back into the fold, the Democrats nominated a Southerner to the Vice Presidency, the Texan Lyndon Baines Johnson. Johnson had been Senate Majority Leader throughout Dwight Eisenhower’s presidency, and fought hard for the top spot on the ticket, so there was experience to balance out John Kennedy’s youth. But he was a Southern man, and was expected to use that to have the South vote Democratic, and restore it to its formerly solid status that had been missing the past few election cycles, with the hope that he could do so in the future as well. By 1960, the Southern voting bloc had shown signs of seceding from the Democratic Party. In 1948, Southern Democrats split briefly as a result of Harry Truman’s stance on Civil Rights, forming the States’ Rights Democratic Party, which was colloquially known as the Dixiecrats. They even nominated a presidential candidate, Strom Thurmond. The Dixiecrats did not cost Truman the election, but he did lose four Southern states in Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, and South Carolina.1 Dwight D. Eisenhower was also able to break into the solid South, winning all but Virginia, Tennessee, Texas, and Florida in 1952 and only losing six of them in 1956.2 As a result, when Kennedy was nominated for the presidency in 1960, he looked at the crop of potential candidates for the second spot on the ticket, and had his advisors look at them as electoral votes. Stuart Symington of Missouri could get some of the border states of the South, but not the Deep South that was needed, and Hubert Humphrey of Minnesota could not help them much in areas they were not likely to win anyway. Lyndon Johnson, however, was from Texas, which had twenty-four electoral votes to begin with, and then could potentially extrapolate those votes to the rest of the Deep South.Two Kennedy aides were quickly put on the task of figuring out electoral arithmetic, to “add the votes of New England to the votes of the Solid South, and how many more would be needed to carry the election?”3 When asked about the prospect privately by congressman Tip O’Neill, Kennedy said, “Of course I want Lyndon 13
A Southern Man . . . Jake Thornton Johnson…If we could ever get him on the ticket, no way could we lose. We’d carry Texas.”4 Even thirteen year old Luci Baines Johnson realized the political truth that “Kennedy couldn’t win without Daddy.”5 And so, Johnson was offered the Vice Presidency, and took it, potentially leaving his position as Senate Majority Leader for a job that fellow Texan John Nance Garner had once described as “not worth a warm bucket of spit.”6 Despite the perception of the power of the Vice Presidency, Johnson took his role and ran with it, determined to win back the South. He adapted his approach depending on his venue, whether meeting with Southern leaders or at a whistle stop talking to a crowd, but he always made specific mention of the South and their interests. He sat on the back of a train on a tour of several towns in the South, opening up the back and speaking to them for ten to fifteen minutes, playing the “Yellow Rose of Texas” on the way in and out of town. He would always cater to each town a little bit, but carried essentially the same message everywhere. When his train stopped in little Culpepper, Virginia, for one of his “LBJ Specials,” he shouted through the P.A. system “What has Dick Nixon ever done for Culpepper?”7 He often would play up this point in his whistle stop campaigning, asking “Why, oh why, should the great state of Virginia ever vote Republican? This high-talking, high-spending crowd has never done anything for the South. It has no interest in Virginia or any other southern state.”8 He also implored them to vote with tradition, asking them “What excuse have you got for not voting with the party of your fathers?”9 Johnson’s expanded this line about ancestors wherever he went in the South. Despite being from Texas his whole life, Johnson claimed family and roots in just about every Southern state when he campaigned. His great- great- great- grandfather was from North Carolina, who then worked as a minister in Georgia, Mississippi, and Alabama, whose son then worked in Arkansas and Louisiana. On the other side of the family, he had an ancestor who came to Georgia as a colonist. He also claimed relation to politicians from Tennessee and Kentucky, and said he was the “grandson of two Confederate generals.”10 His lineage highlighted one of the most important parts of these LBJ Specials, to allow Johnson to speak to the South in their own language. As a reporter from the Atlanta Journal-Constitution put it, “He was likeable. He was folksy…earthy…It was clear what his job is- to speak to the people in their own tongue while Kennedy addresses his broad A to the ages. Kennedy looks good on the white horse. Johnson dominates the caboose.”11 He brought the highbrow Kennedy platform down to the people, and down to the South, and tried to make them realize that the Democratic platform would greatly benefit them as well. Johnson was also able to work the important men of each state individually as well. He would invite important Democrats from each town onto his LBJ Specials, and would woo them with a careful mixture of flattery and fear. He gave them drinks and private audiences, involving them in the stops as necessary, and then tell them what would happen to the South if they did not vote Democratic. When he met with Florida leaders to discuss their contribution to the campaign, he told them that Kennedy was going to win, but that “if he wins without the South, I’m warning you…you bastards are going to be dead. You’ll get nothing out of the Kennedy Administration.”12 He also asked them how they were “going to get such bills through the Senate if Mr. Kennedy and I are sitting there solely because you didn’t produce the vote that would have elected us?”13 Soon after that meeting, Florida’s Democrats began stumping hard for the 14
A Southern Man . . . Jake Thornton JFK-LBJ ticket. Over the course of the LBJ Special’s route, it hosted an amazing 1,247 Southern dignitaries, wo would then disperse amongst their home towns and states to deliver the same message there.14 Johnson had done spectacularly in the South as a whole, but his own state, however, proved to be a problem. Going into November, polls showed the Democrats slightly behind in Texas, a prospect that Johnson feared would “discredit him totally in the nation and with Kennedy.”15 He found an opportunity, however, on November 4, when he and his wife Lady Bird Johnson walked into the Adolphus Hotel in Dallas. Texas Republicans had come to protest Johnson and Kennedy complete with signs and nasty attitudes.The Johnsons tried to move through the lobby, to be blocked by “LBJ Sold Out to Yankee Socialists” signs and screaming protesters. The crowd was not just screaming, however, but spitting, including at Lady Bird, and one woman even snatched gloves out of Lady Bird’s hand and threw them on the ground.16 Many would have hustled through the hostile crowd quickly, but Johnson saw an opportunity, and took his time. An aide pointed out later that, “LBJ and Lady Bird could have gone through that lobby and got on that elevator in five minutes, but LBJ took thirty minutes to go through that crowd, and it was all being recorded and photographed…and he knew and played it for all it was worth.”17 When he was asked about it later, Johnson said that he wanted to know if the “time had come when I can’t walk through the lobby of a hotel in Dallas with my lady without a police escort.”18 He used the Adolphus incident to appeal to a portion of the Texan, and Southern, attitude that he had not touched before: chivalry and gallantry. An aide noted that “one thing about Texas, particularly old-fashioned Texas and Southerners, is they don’t want women treated in a disparaging, discourteous way. You could spit on Johnson and get away with it, but you couldn’t spit on the wife of a candidate.”19 A day later, when he was at an airport in Houston, there were signs saying that “We Apologize. We Love You.”20 And they showed their love on Election Day. Kennedy and Johnson won Texas by 46,000 votes, but the bigger impact was in the South as a whole.21 Johnson did not bring back the entire South, but he won enough to say he brought it back, and certainly enough to win the election. The Democrats won all but four Southern states, Florida,Tennessee, and Virginia went for Nixon, while Mississippi had independent electors.22 Kennedy had certainly done much of the work to get himself elected, but he could not have won without Johnson’s help. A New Mexican representative said that the state went to the Democrats because of Johnson, as was the case in Missouri. The U.S. News and World Report said that the “key to the election had been in the South, and this was the land of Lyndon Johnson… Mr. Johnson did the job.”23 Johnson had done his job for 1960 to get Kennedy in the White House, but four years later, he would have to do it again, this time for himself. Less than a year after the Kennedy assassination, and Johnson had to abruptly take over the reins of an administration that he did not choose, he had to get the American people to choose him in his own right. He now had to focus on an entire nation, while not losing the region that he owed for getting him in the position in the first place. This would not be an easy road, however. With Civil Rights as a driving force in American politics over the intervening years, and with Johnson playing a key role since his assumption of the Oval Office, the South was becoming even more hostile towards the Democratic Party. Democrats in the South during the Civil Rights movement always found themselves in a difficult situation. In Washington and around the country, momentum was swinging definitively towards the passage 15
A Southern Man . . . Jake Thornton of Civil Rights legislation and away from the days of Jim Crow and the segregationist South. At home, however, where their constituents who kept them in office were based, the mood was unquestionably set at keeping the status quo. Several Southern politicians moved towards reflecting their district or state’s beliefs in order to stay in office, whether they believed in them as well or not.This kind of thinking led to the creation of the Dixiecrats in 1948. Other Southern politicians simply became different things to different people, giving the right speeches at home to stay elected, while working toward Civil Rights in Washington. Lyndon Johnson took the second path while he was a Senator. His double-talk from Texas to Washington led his biographer to call him “a magnificent scoundrel, a self-serving altruist, a man of high ideals and no principle, a chameleon on plaid.”24 He maintained his conservative stance when he was in conservative Texas, but when in Washington as Senate Majority Leader, he oversaw the passage of the Civil Rights Act of 1957. That law managed to anger people on both sides of the issue. Supporters of Civil Rights said that it did not go far enough, and Johnson told them that it was a step in the right direction, that it could be amended and strengthened, but it had to be passed first. Opponents decried that it was passed at all, and Johnson told them that it was a watered down version, which would not be able to be enforced. Once he was in the White House, however, he signed the Civil Rights Act of 1964, strengthening the previous law. Many Southerners could not forgive him for that, but he had moved on to national politics at that point. Even so, he wanted to win the South. Election historian Theodore H. White stated that “Lyndon Johnson wanted his Southland with him as much as Kennedy had wanted his New England,” but that the “horizons of Lyndon Johnson expanded still further until it was the entire country he wanted, all of it, as President of all the people.”25 Southerners, feeling betrayed by his stance on Civil Rights and abandoned for the sake of the entire country, began to look for other options. Barry Goldwater, as the Republican candidate for president in 1964, was eager to pick them up. He and his supporters went around the South, saying that Johnson was not a true Southerner, and was in fact a “counterfeit confederate.”26 At a rally in Greensboro, North Carolina, he told an enthusiastic crowd to thunderous cheers that Johnson “is not a Southerner,” and heard similar, “stadium-filling boos” from Alabama and New Orleans.27 Georgia’s Johnson campaign offices were found every day to be “covered in graffiti, the windows soaped over, or the radio antenna tied in a knot.”28 Even prominent Democrats were crossing lines to the Republicans. Strom Thurmond defected to the other party after the passage of the Civil Rights Act of 1964, calling the legislation “another Reconstruction,” and welcomed Goldwater to South Carolina the next day with a gold elephant tie clip.29 Despite this backlash from his fellow Southerners, Johnson did not completely lose the South in the election. Other than his home state of Arizona, Goldwater only won five states, all in the Deep South. In those states, it was not even close for LBJ. Louisiana went for Goldwater with fifty-seven percent of the vote, South Carolina with fifty-nine, and Georgia and Alabama also voting with lopsided margins. Mississippi was particularly vehement about denying Johnson an electoral sweep, losing a staggering eighty-seven percent of the vote.30 LBJ, despite his inability to hold the Solid South, did keep his home state and the upper South, as well as winning the nation as a whole, and by an unprecedented margin. He won sixty-one 16
A Southern Man . . . Jake Thornton percent of the vote nationally, the highest percentage ever won in a national election at the time.31 Johnson was a big winner overall in the election of 1964, winning in a manner befitting his old nickname of “Landslide Lyndon.” However, in his method of winning laid the seeds of his home region leaving his party. His support of Civil Rights and the passing of the strongest legislation on that issue pushed the South away from the Democrats. White concluded in his postmortem of the 1964 election that “the Republican Party is now, finally, deeply rooted in the South.”32 Once his victory was assured, LBJ did not waste much time worrying over bringing the South back, implementing his Great Society programs and passing the Voting Rights Act of 1965. He could see the Southern transition coming; after passing the Civil Rights Act of 1964, he made the comment that “I think we just delivered the South to the Republican Party for a long time to come.”33 In 1960, Johnson’s original job in national politics was to make the Solid South solid again. He ended up doing just that, but making it solidly Republican for years to come. In the two elections that he participated in, he brought several of the Southern states and their electoral votes to the Democrats, but never united them completely. He used his status as a Southerner to speak their own language and their own mannerisms in order to gain their trust and their votes. Once he got in power however, his actions did not endear him to his fellow Southerners. They turned on him when they felt he had betrayed them, and did not look back. Johnson proved in his time as president that he was a Southerner, and could talk to them as one of them, but he did have some ideals and principles in his Great Society programs that he would cling to over their support. He finally proved that he was able to stand without the South, and once he could, he charged forward without them.
17
A Southern Man . . . Jake Thornton
References 1 Paul F. Boller, Jr., Presidential Campaigns (Oxford: Oxford University Press, 1984), p. 273. 2 Ibid., p. 285, 293. 3 Theodore H. White, The Making of the President 1960 (New York: Mentor, 1961), p. 200.
16 Pietrusza, 1960, p. 387. 17 Ibid., p. 387. 18 Ibid. 19 Ibid.
4 David Pietrusza, 1960 LBJ vs. JFK vs. Nixon: The Epic Campaign That Forged Three Presidencies (New York: Union Square Press, 2008), p. 196.
20 Caro, Passage of Power, p. 150.
5 Robert A. Caro, The Years of Lyndon Johnson: The Passage of Power (New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 2012), p. 141.
22 Ibid., p. 155.
6 White, The Making of the President 1960, p. 202. 7 Caro, Passage of Power, p. 147. 8 Ibid., p. 145-146. 9 Ibid., p. 146. 10 William E. Leuchtenburg, The White House Looks South (Baton Rouge: Louisiana State University Press, 2005), p. 231. 11 Ibid., p. 147. 12 Ibid., p. 145. 13 Leuchtenburg, The White House Looks South, p. 287. 14 Caro, Passage of Power, p. 148. 15 Ibid., p. 150.
21 Ibid.
23 Ibid. 24 Pietrusza, 1960, p. 29. 25 Theodore H. White, The Making of the President 1964 (New York: Mentor, 1965), p. 420. 26 Leuchtenburg, The White House Looks South, p. 313. 27 Ibid., p. 313. 28 Ibid., p. 314. 29 Ibid., p. 313. 30 Ibid., p. 322. 31 White, The Making of the President 1964, p. 451. 32 Ibid., p. 452. 33 Leuchtenburg, The White House Looks South, p. 325.
18
The Blood Countess: The Story of Elizabeth Báthory
Jennifer Humphrey
Elizabeth Báthory was a Hungarian Countess who murdered over 600 young females in the sixteenth century. She was the epitome of evil and used various torture methods before killing each of her victims. Many other historians believe that she was psychotic and was mentally unstable, while others believe that she was sadistic and tortured and killed for the thrill. Some historians refer to her as the Blood Countess because it was rumored that she would drink and bathe in the blood of her victims. The Blood Countess had no sympathy for any human life and no remorse for what she had done. She was the first woman serial killer and one of the inspirations for Bram Stoker’s Dracula. Elizabeth Báthory fits the modern definition of a vampire and her story led to many myths that were the basis of modern vampire lore.1 Elizabeth Báthory was born on August 7, 1560 in eastern Hungary to one of the most powerful families in Central Europe. She had connections with some of the most important people during that time including: the princes of Transylvania, King of Poland, and the Hapsburg family. She herself was part of the high nobility and had access to all things that had developed in the Renaissance Era. She was extremely smart and was given an exceptional education by her parents. Elizabeth loved learning and throughout her life she continued to read many books.2 Her family had instances of mental illnesses like many other noble families probably from inbreeding. Elizabeth “suffered seizures and fits of rage as a child, however, and it is said that her father did, as well.”3 In 1575, she married Count Ferenc Nádasy who also came from a powerful Hungarian family. It was a good match and resulted in lots of land and money. Their marriage resulted in the couple owning a great deal of land in Hungary, especially land in the Carpathian Mountains. He was only five years her senior and was a national war hero. His name on the battlefield was the “Black Knight of Hungary” and he spent his whole life fighting against the Ottoman Turks.4 The Count spent much time away from the Countess, but they did manage to have four children.5 The aggressive and murderous nature of the Blood Countess would have likely been encouraged by everyday routine. She lived in a time when the masters of the house would punish the servants and brutal punishments were often administered. She grew up in late medieval times, when war was constant between sparring religions and various ethnic groups. Báthory was influenced by some of her family members including her aunt Karla Báthory, who initiated Elizabeth into “the torture of servant-girls.”6 Her aunt was a lesbian and “taught Elizabeth the pleasures of flagellation and other perversions.”7 When Elizabeth reached adulthood, her most important teacher would be her husband Ferenc. The skilled war hero used various methods when torturing his captured enemies before brutally killing them. He “enjoyed torturing servants and teaching his wife ways in which to discipline them.”8 It seems that she became “obsessed by the black arts, and she surrounded herself with witches, who served as her familiars in her sadistic sexual games.”9 19
Blood Countess Jennifer Humphrey
The three most influential witches were her old nurse, Ilona Joo, Doratta Szentes, and Anna Darvulia. Each of these women helped Báthory feed her murderous nature by either giving her ideas, helping with the actual torturing, or supplying the victims.10 Báthory lived in the secluded Carpathian Mountains and was constantly bored. Her husband was often away fighting the Turks. Eventually with the help of her dark art instructors, she succumbed to the wild and erotic behavior that helped feed her sadistic nature. It is said that she first got her taste for blood after striking a servant girl in the face and drawing blood. The effect of the blood on the girl’s skin mesmerized her and led to her desire for fresh blood. She admired how the blood made the skin paler and more beautiful to her.11 She was obsessed with blood and would do anything for it. Most sources insist that she was a bather in blood because she believed that it would help her maintain her youth.12 The Blood Countess reportedly gathered young peasant girls and tortured them to death then drained them of all of their blood. After draining them of their blood, she would leave the bodies littered everywhere including under the beds in her castle.13 Her craving for peasant blood diminished when she saw that their blood did nothing for her complexion. She decided that she needed noble blood in order to maintain her youth, so she started an academy for young women of noble birth in order to learn “instruction in the social graces” as a trap.14 By recruiting noble born females, Báthory was ignoring all concerns about the consequences of her actions. The school was where she recruited her next victims for torture. Elizabeth Báthory had many different torture methods that she used on her victims. She loved to stick needles into servant girls’ skin and underneath their fingernails while they yelled in pain. One technique she used she learned from her husband. This was “Star-kicking, a variation of the hotfoot, which involved putting bits of oiled paper between the toes of lazy servants and setting the paper on fire, causing the victim to see stars from the pain and to kick to put out the fire.”15 She liked to have servants thrown out of a window into the snow and have ice cold water thrown on them until they died from hyperthermia. In the summer, she would have honey poured on servant girls and would shut them outside to be bitten by bugs and animals. Some of her other ways of torturing involved more heinous ways. She would burn off the pubic hair of her female servants and also burn their vaginas with a candle flame.16 She would bite her female servants all over their bodies. She even forced one servant to “cook and eat a strip of her own flesh.”17 On other occasions, she would split her victim’s mouth wide open until it ripped apart.18 Báthory’s favorite device was a cylindrical cage inside of which were long spikes. A naked girl would be placed inside the cage and hoisted into the air. Elizabeth or one of her servants would have a red-hot poker and stab the victim multiple times in order to force her against the spikes.19 She had other such cages that inflicted horrible pain. One cage had moveable steel blades that would slash a victim to ribbons while she let the fresh blood flow over her.20 Elizabeth had a very sick sense of humor and use to tell jokes whenever participating in her torture sessions.21 Almost everything that Elizabeth did or had done to her servants was done while they were stripped naked. Apparently she “devoted herself full time to the torment and sexual degradation of younger women.” She had a driven sexuality towards other females and would conduct orgies that generally resulted 20
Blood Countess Jennifer Humphrey in the death of several girls. She had no conscience regarding injuring or killing persons she met.There was no safe distance from Elizabeth Báthory. Kimberly Craft, a historian on Báthory, said that, “Accounts of her torturing and murdering are frequently linked to the times when either she had to make a trip or receive visitors socially; the more uncomfortable the visit or social engagement, the worse the fate inflicted upon her victims.”23 After the decomposition of the bodies set in, the servants would toss them in the fields, and the mass disposal of bodies helped encourage vampire myths surrounding her. The “violence, rebellion, and sexuality in vampire lore” helped develop the legend of the Blood Countess.24 In Dracula in the Dark: The Dracula Film Adaptations, James Holte considers Báthory’s story “an equally fertile source for the development of the female vampire.”25 Bram Stoker, the author of Dracula used Bathory’s story as inspiration for his book. Many examples in Stoker’s book especially pertaining to the drinking of blood came from Elizabeth Bathory. Vlad the Impaler and the Blood Countess were contemporaries and shared a connection. Vlad, “massacred, impaled, killed without distinction for his own pleasure.”26 He defended Romania from the Ottoman Turks just like her husband defended Hungary from them as well. Her family helped put him back on the throne and part of his fiefdom became part of Báthory’s property during her life. They are even said to be distantly related in a way.27 Báthory’s “Reign of Terror” came to an end in December of 1610 when her castle was raided by Hungarian officials pending an investigation. She had come under suspicion after noble women attending her academy went missing. Her immediate friends were losing power and the complaints of Báthory’s indiscretions reached the king’s ear.28 Her closest neighbor, Count Thurzo was in charge of the investigation and was appalled at what he found. In his statement he says, “This woman Elizabeth Báthory, disregarding her reverence for God and the people, cruelly murdered one-knows-not-how-many girls and virgins and other women in her Gynaecaeum in various ways.”29 Because the Countess was of noble blood and part of one of the most powerful families in Hungary, she was not immediately put on trial. However, the people found out through word of mouth and a trial was held. Her accomplices were taken into custody and tortured for their confessions. Some of them were “burned at the stake after having their fingers torn out; many of the rest were beheaded.”30 Báthory herself was never put on trial because of her social rank and connections. She instead was sentenced to remain in her castle. “She was condemned to perpetual confinement in her chamber, where the door and the windows were sealed, leaving only a food hatch for communication.”31 Before she was placed in confinement, she wrote her last will and testament. In her will she does not ask for forgiveness or admit any wrongdoing evidently, she believed in God as she says: I will “think only of the holy, gracious God, the Savior and Creator, and prove to Him my gratitude.”32 Elizabeth Báthory remained confined to her castle until her death on August 21, 1614. Elizabeth Báthory was a serial killer who murdered over 600 young females in order to quench her insatiable thirst for blood. Elizabeth Báthory fits the modern definition of a vampire and her story led to many myths that are the basis of vampire lore. She was one of the main inspirations for Bram Stoker’s Dracula because of her love of blood and habit of draining the blood out of her victims. She was the epitome of evil and used various torture methods before killing her victims. One can see the makings of the modern conception of vampires in the life of Elizabeth Báthory. 21
Blood Countess Jennifer Humphrey References 1 Kimberly Kraft, Infamous Lady: The True Story of Countess Erzsébet Báthory, (United States of America: Kimberly L. Craft, 2009)preface; Radu Florescu and Raymond McNally, In Search of Dracula: The History or Dracula and Vampires (New York: Houghton Mifflin Company, 1994), 126-130; Jo Durden Smith, 100 Most Infamous Criminals (New York: Metro Books, 2003) 13-15. 2 Craft, Infamous Lady, 8. 3 Craft, Infamous Lady, 13. 4 Ibid, 39. 5 Ibid, 49. 6 Gavin Hambly, “Elizabeth Báthory,” Great Lives From History: The Renaissance and Early Modern Era, 1400-1600, Rev. ed., (September 2008) 1.
14 Newton, The Encyclopedia of Serial Killers, 15 15 McNally and Florescu, In Search of Dracula, 127 16 Ibed, 128. 17 Newton, The Encyclopedia of Serial Killers, 15. 18 Ibid, 15 19 Ibid, 15. 20 Hambly, “Elizabeth Bathory,” 2. 21 Newton, The Encyclopedia of Serial Killers, 15. 22 Newton, The Encyclopedia of Serial Killers, 14. 23 Craft, Infamous Lady, 93.
7 Michael Newton, The Encyclopedia of Serial Killers, (New York: Checkmark Books, 2000) 14.
24 James Holte, Dracula in the Dark: The Dracula Film Adaptations, (Westport, Connecticut:Greenwood Press) 94.
8 Craft, Infamous Lady, 63
25 Holte, Dracula in the Dark, 97.
9 Hambly, “Elizabeth Báthory,” 1.
26 McNally and Florescu, In Search of Dracula, 150.
10 Hambly, “Elizabeth Báthory,” 2; Newton, The Encyclopedia of Serial Killer,14.
27 McNally and Florescu, In Search of Dracula, 130.
11 Rodney Castleden, The World’s Most Evil People (Kindle Locations 1275-1282: Canary Press, 2011) 1.
29 Craft, Infamous Lady, 194.
12 Alison Rattle and Allison Vale, Mad Kings and Queens: History’s Most Famous Raving Royals (Barnes and Nobles, Inc., 2007), 60-61.
31 Hambly, “Elizabeth Bathory,” 3.
13 McNally and Florescu, In Search of Dracula, 128
28 Newton, The Encyclopedia of Serial Killers, 15.
30 Smith, 100 Most Infamous Criminals, 15.
32 Kimberly Craft, The Private Letters of Countess Erzsébet Báthory, (United States of America: Kimberly L. Craft, 2011) 102.
22
For the Love of God : Revealing Intimacy Hidden Behind Ideology
Jordan Card
The following is an excerpt from “For the Love of God: Revealing intimacy Hidden Behind Ideology” as presented at the 2013 Chowan University Student Research Conference. What Can We Do? So, then, how can we as Christians reverse these negative effects, and successfully bring people to Christ. The answer is simple enough, and it is through the love of God as proved through Jesus Christ. The constant focus on works of biblical law, and the obsession with becoming a perfect Christian is nothing without the love of God. This is beautifully explained by Paul in his first epistle to the Corinthians:
1.) If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2.) If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3.) If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.1
It is evident in this verse that love should be the foundation of everything we, as Christians, do. And again in the same letter, Paul says,“Do everything in love.”2 Love is the overwhelming focus of the New Testament, so why do so many Christians miss it? The Love of God A clarification that must be made is what exactly I mean by “the love of God.” This phrase has been misconstrued and morphed into something that is not biblical. God’s love is exemplified many times throughout the Bible, including the Old Testament (contrary to what some people think), and is brought to climax in Jesus’ life, death, and resurrection. Throughout the Old Testament, promises were made to God’s people (namely, promises to: Noah, Abraham, Moses, Jeremiah, and David). Through Jesus, God perfected his love by fulfilling these promises. And so, by the love of God, I am referring to his unrelenting devotion to his people, even to the point of death. As mentioned previously, this love is available and free to anyone who trusts Jesus as Christ. Furthermore, This love is something that changes us into something holy and pleasing to God, into something he will use for a purpose. The other part of God’s love is that it is shown through His people. Because He loves us so unconditionally, we are then called to love others in the same way.3 How to do this will be explained shortly.
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For the Love . . . Jordan Card
Works as a Result Perhaps people focus on the rules because they are a physical representation of what Christ is doing. So, people think that if they just do the right thing, then Christ is in them. But this idea is disproved in the scriptures repeatedly.4 The fact of the matter is that works do not lead to faith; on the contrary, faith leads to works. By this I mean that we do not gain trust in Christ by obeying his law. In actuality, true trust in Christ brings about good works that are holy and honoring to him as a sign of our faith in him.The same way that Abraham showed his trust in God through certain rituals (such as circumcision), Christians show their trust through imitating Christ.You can see, then, that true faith brings about works, not the other way around. This happens through the love of God as explained above. When we come to trust Jesus, we are made into new creations5 that desire to please Him by following His commandments. It is because of true faith in Christ that we desire to follow God’s will, a result. Faith is not something obtained simply through “playing Christian,” so to speak. How should We React,Then? With the knowledge of this free love from God in mind, and with an understanding that it is the foundation of faith, we should then begin to focus it and let it be the foundation of our lives and ministry. The bible mentions a few times that people of the day were doing the same things that are happening today. In Matthew, the Pharisees, a legalistic group of Jews, are ridiculed as “Hypocrites!”6 because they are too focused on the laws. They taught people that laws were of the utmost importance, but ignored justice, mercy, and faithfulness.7 At the end of this rant, the Pharisees are pointed back to Christ. Jesus said, “ For I tell you, you will not see me again until you say, ‘Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord.’”8 In this passage, the answer to all of the Pharisees’ problems is Jesus.Therefore, we should follow this example and set our attention on blessing Christ, rather than stressing laws. Also mentioned in the Bible is the idea of being a “lukewarm”9 Christian. By this, John meant that the followers of Christ were not stepping up and owning their faith. They were simply saying they believed in Jesus, but not letting Him change them. This idea is also mentioned in Matthew when Christians are called the “salt of the Earth.”10 The point made is that we are supposed to impact the Earth and change it, but if we lose our saltiness (if we lose our passion for Christ) we are not going to change anything. Along the same lines, 1 John explains that we cannot love the world and love God.11 The author suggests that we should give up our worldly desires, and focus on the desires of God. Focusing on God’s will allows us to see our call to spread His love. So, how do we maintain this passion for Christ and spread it successfully to the world?
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For the Love . . . Jordan Card The Relationship This starts, ironically, with the realization that we all sin.12 Once we can admit this to ourselves, then we can begin to draw near to Christ, not before. In 1 John, it is well explained that to become forgiven, we must first admit that we have sinned. If we claim to be without sin, then “the truth is not in us,”13 meaning we cannot fully accept God’s grace until we understand we have fallen short of his glory. But, on the other hand, when we admit to sinning, he is faithful to forgive us through Christ and make us pure.14 This pureness is what is lacking in our lives that causes us to chase after God.We are incomplete, and thus chase this wholeness15 in Christ. So, when we personally admit to falling short of God’s glory, we are then forgiven by Him, and thus forgive ourselves. It is important to understand that because of this forgiveness, we are free to live in fellowship with God. When Jesus died, the veil that isolated the holy place of the temple, the Holy of Holies where God dwelt, was torn.16 This meant that followers of Christ no longer had to go through the high priest to contact God. Now The Holy Spirit of God dwells within the hearts of those who trust their lives with Jesus. This means that we are free to live in fellowship with God, our creator, with nothing standing in the way but our own human temptations. Even with this, though, Jesus helps us.17 Paul explains that because Jesus defeated death, we are no longer bound to sin. He mentions that before the idea of “sin” emerged, our hearts did not know sin. Furthermore, since Jesus defeated sin and death, our hearts no longer know sin,18 and are again free from it. So, through Jesus’ life, we are free to be in a relationship with God. This does not mean, though, that we should simply continue sinning. We have died to sin,19 as stated by Paul, and now live through Christ. Because we are alive in Christ, we imitate Him, and strive to be like Him, realizing that He is the ultimate example of how to live.20 This further explains the idea that works come as a result of faith, not the other way around. So, then, in order to stay faithful to Christ, God has blessed us with the Church, a fellowship in which we can hold each other accountable with love.21 This accountability, though, should not be extended to nonbelievers, as seems to be the case recently. Realistically, if a person does not believe in Christ, he or she certainly does not believe in his laws. Therefore, when we only show people the laws of Christ, we blind them from the love and acceptance of God through Christ.This accountability is important between those who accept it, but if it is not accepted, it can have the adverse affects explained earlier. The Ministry So, then, what should we extend to nonbelievers? Once we understand our own personal relationship with God through Christ, we should offer our testimony, and our love. It would only follow naturally that upon realizing that we have been given an irreplaceable gift, we would want to share this gift with others.
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For the Love . . . Jordan Card
Ultimately, the only thing of which we can be certain is what God has done in our lives. Therefore, that is all we have the grounds to truly offer to nonbelievers. We need to always be ready with an answer to why we believe what we do,22 and that answer is our testimony. Now, in order to keep the respect of nonbelievers in order to be able to share our testimonies, we need to have spiritual integrity. By this, I mean that we need to follow the God we claim. To do this, we need to stay focused on God23 and pray constantly.24 When we do this, when we keep our focus on God, then we will not only continue to follow His will, but we will also be ready to explain our faith at any moment. More importantly, we need to exemplify God’s love for his people. The examples of modern Christians previously given do exactly the opposite: they preach hate and damnation. What needs to happen, though, is that through spiritual integrity, Christians need to show God’s love through their actions. The distinction here is that we should hold ourselves to high standards, but by no means should we hold nonbelievers to the same standards. Having expectations of others only leads to disappointment, because ultimately we cannot control them. And, ultimately, we do not save them. God does that. We simply point them toward Christ. All we can hope to do is reverse the misconceptions of Christianity. This love is explained in 1 Corinthians:
“4.) Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5.) It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6.) Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7.) It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”25
This is the love that we need to portray to people. Furthermore, our love needs to reflect God’s love. That is, because he forgave us, we should forgive others.26 When we accept him, we should accept others.27 The same way he is our encouragement, we should encourage others.28 And most importantly, perhaps, we should not judge others, because judgment is not ours to give:
“11.) Brothers and sisters, do not slander one another. Anyone who speaks against a brother or sister or judges them speaks against the law and judges it. When you judge the law, you are not keeping it, but sitting in judgment on it. 12.) There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the one who is able to save and destroy. But you—who are you to judge your neighbor?”
It is made quite obvious through this passage that our calling while on Earth is not to act as judges on God’s behalf.
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For the Love . . . Jordan Card
Conclusion In his book, Radical, David Platt makes a statement that I think sums up the problem: “I could not help but think that somewhere along the way we had missed what is radical about our faith and replaced it with what is comfortable.�29 I believe this is exactly what has happened. Christians have stepped away from radical abandonment of self, and stepped into a comfort zone.This comfort zone is where they find human explanations for something that is not human. It is where they diminish the power of God into merely a doctrine that they then impose on others, in an effort to make everything according to their wishes. But this is not what Christianity is! Christianity is about a relationship with God. A relationship that allows us to experience true love that we then cannot help but extend to other people. People simply do not truly come to Christ through being ridiculed and judged. It is not effective in the evangelical sense, and it does not encourage us to connect spiritually with our creator. Love, however, is perfect. Yes, we are human and we will mess up. But when we constantly strive to exemplify the perfect love of God, what we will find is that the kingdom of God will be brought to Earth. We will begin to create legitimate relationships with nonbelievers, earning their trust and respect. They will see that this faith is not something fake or temporary, but something very real that has changed us. Ultimately, by focusing on the love and grace of God, the people we lead to Christ will develop eternal relationships with their Father, rather than temporary hype. This long-lasting relationship will then take them to the point that they desire to follow the will of God. So, ironically, the desired outcome of Christians that condemn others is actually reached through loving others. When we love others, the requirements of the law are fulfilled.30 Somewhere along the lines, this intimate relationship with God has been overshadowed by a fascination with doctrine. Ideology has turned something spiritual into something physical, with disregard to the salvation of others. It is time that we stand up as followers of Christ and exemplify everything he stands for. If not for our own betterment, then for the sake of those who have no idea what it truly means to be loved by Christ. Ultimately, persecuting people is not an effective way to gain their trust, thus opening the door that leads them to Christ. The simplest and best solution, that for some reason people seem to miss, is that we need to actually trust the God we claim to trust, and do what He says: love him, and love others.31
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For the Love . . . Jordan Card References 1 1 Corinthians 13:1ff (NIV)
16 Matthew 27:51
2 1 Corinthians 16:14 (NIV)
17 Romans 8:26
3 1 John 4:19
18 Romans 4:15
4 Ephesians 2:9; 1 Corinthians 1:29ff; Romans 11:18
19 Romans 6:2 (NIV)
5 2 Corinthians 5:17
20 Romans 6
6 Matthew 23:13, 15, 23, 25, 27, 29 (NIV)
21Galatians 6:1-2
7 Matthew 23:13-39
22 1 Peter 2:15
8 Matthew 23:39 (NIV)
23 Colossians 3:1
9 Revelation 3:15-16
24 1 Thessalonians 5:17
10 Matthew 5:13
25 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NIV)
11 1 John 2:15-16
26 Psalm 78:38
12 Romans 3:23
27 Matthew 25:40
13 1 John 1:8 (NIV)
28 1 Thessalonians 4:18
14 1 John 1:9
29 Radical, p. 7
15 Colossians 2:10
30 Romans 13:8 31 Matthew 22:36-40
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V isual Art Lotus Flower Set by Ariana Munden . .……………………………………………… 31
Eddie the Termite by Macaulay Chilaka, Jr.…………………………………………… 32
Mary & Jesus by Macaulay Chilaka, Jr.…………………………………………… 33
Horse & Foal by Macaulay Chilaka, Jr.…………………………………………… 34
Cross Country Poster by Adam Kerns. . .……………………………………………… 35-36 Sorrow by Nfon Asuquo. .………………………………………………… 37
360 by Nfon Asuquo. .………………………………………………… 38
Balance by Nfon Asuquo. .………………………………………………… 39
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Lotus Flower Set Ariana Munden Wheel thrown clay with glaze
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Eddie the Termite Macaulay Chilaka, Jr. Pen and ink
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Mary & Jesus Macaulay Chilaka, Jr. Pen and ink, Christmas card
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Horse and Foal Macaulay Chilaka, Jr. Pen and ink
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Cross-Country Poster Adam Kerns
An NCAA Cross-Country Course Using a Geographic I Abstract
The objective of my project is to design a cross-country course on Chowan University’s (CU) campus. Currently, CU competes in men’s and women’s cross country in the Central Intercollegiate Athletic Association. However, the school does not have facilities to host meets nor do they possess adequate facilities for training runs. A Geographic information system (GIS) running Arc GIS Desktop software (version 10.1) was used to design the course. A Garmin 72H handheld global positioning system (GPS) receiver was used to ground truth the course in the field. The GPS data was then imported to the GIS using MapSource software. National Collegiate Athletic Association (NCAA) Rules for Track & Field and Cross-Country were used in the design process. Two cross-country courses were designed: one for the men’s team and one for the women’s team. Both courses are located on CU owned property. The men’s course is 4.9 miles (8 kilometers), and the women’s is 3.1 miles (5 kilometers) and both are “out and back”. The courses travel through agricultural fields, pine and hardwood forests, pass by streams and a lake. Over their entire length, the courses consist of flat land and some low slope hills, but are runner friendly and very scenic. Potential benefits of an NCAA cross-country course on CU’s campus are many, and are discussed below.
Introduction
The objective of my project is to design a cross-country course on CU campus. Currently, CU competes in men’s and women’s cross country in the Central Intercollegiate Athletic Association (CIAA). However, the school does not have facilities to host meets nor do they possess adequate facilities for training runs. My motivation for this project is to provide CU athletes with appropriate practice courses, a “home course” advantage during competitions, and a setting for spectators to be a part of cross-country meets. As a student athlete and member of the men’s CU cross-country team, I believe it would be beneficial to have a safer and more precise length course for training and meets. Also, I find it difficult that parents, family, and friends cannot attend home meets.
Methods
A GIS running Arc GIS Desktop software (version 10.1) was used to design the course. Digital orthoimagery (Hertford County Government 2009) provided a base layer for the analysis. Important features were transferred to the map from the orthoimagery via digitizing (Ormsby et al, 2010; Bolstad 2008). This included buildings, parking lots, athletic fields, roads, streams, water features, and different categories of land use. Stream locations and topography was verified using a 1:24000 scale digital topographic map of the CU campus (US Geological Survey 2010). A Garmin 72H handheld GPS receiver was used to ground truth the course in the field (Garmin 2009). The GPS data was then imported to the GIS using MapSource software (Garmin 2002). This allowed me to create a map of the course with an associated database. NCAA Rules for Track & Field and Cross-Country were used in the design process (Podkaminer and Seewald 2010). This helped determine the width, length, characteristics of the start and finish, and locations for race support to satisfy NCAA requirements. For example locations of timing equipment, race marshals, first aid, and water.
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By Adam K Interdisciplinary S Member CU Cross-
se Design for Chowan University Information System
dam Kerns ary Studies Major ross-Country Team
Results
I designed two cross-country courses: one for the men’s team and one for the women’s team (see maps).The men’s course is 4.9 miles (8 kilometers), and the women’s is 3.1 miles (5 kilometers). Both courses are located on CU owned property (Hertford County Government 2013). Both courses average 26 feet (8 meters) wide, and are “out and back” like many CIAA courses that I have run in the past. Both courses start near the parking lot west of Whites Crossing, and for much of their length the men’s and women’s courses overlap. The courses first travel through agricultural fields and then enter pine and hardwood forests while passing by streams and a lake. For most of their length through the agricultural fields, the courses are located along the edge of the tree line. The courses enter the forest along an existing dirt road before crossing Union Street twice (out and back) near Highway 158 South. Both courses return through the forest along the dirt road, then re-enter the agricultural fields, and end near where they started. Over their entire length, the courses consist of flat land and some low slope hills, but are runner friendly and very scenic.
Conclusion
Potential benefits of an NCAA cross-country course on CU’s campus are many. CU runners would have an advantage of competing on their home course, and as a current member of the men’s cross-country team I can attest to this. Other student athletes would also have a safe and challenging training course. The school could host NCAA Championships providing exposure for the university and its programs. The university could host 5k and 8k invitational runs to raise funds for the athletic department and campus organizations. Finally, the university could open the course for public use thereby enhancing relations with the community, and possibly enhancing donations from the public.
References
Bolstad, P. 2008. GIS Fundamentals: A First Text on Geographic Information Systems. 3rd Edition. Eider Press, White Bear Lake, Minnesota. Garmin. 2009. GPS 72H Owner’s Manual. Garmin Corporation, Taiwan. Garmin. 2002. MapSource: United States Topographic Map Software. Eastern United States. Garmin Corporation, Taiwan. Hertford County Government. 2013. GIS Tax Maps. Accessed January 30, 2013. Hertford County, North Carolina Online Services. http://www.hertfordcountync.gov/ Hertford County Government. 2009. Hertford County, NC 2009 Digital Orthos. Hertford County, Winton, North Carolina. http://www.nconemap.com Ormsby, T., E. Napoleon, R. Burke, C. Groessl, L. Bowden. 2010. Getting to Know ArcGIS Desktop (for version 10.1). ESRI Press, Redlands, California. Podkaminer, B. and R. Seewald. 2010. 2011/2012 NCAA Men’s and Women’s Track and Field and Cross Country Rules. National Collegiate Athletic Association, Indianapolis, Indiana. http://www.ncaa.org US Geological Survey. 2010. Murfreesboro, NC Quandrangle Geo.PDF. 1:24,000. 7.5 Minute Series. United States Department of the Interior, Reston, Virginia.
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Sorrow Nfon Asuquo Acrylic paint on canvas
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360
Nfon Asuquo Acrylic paint on canvas
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Balance Nfon Asuquo Acrylic paint and ink
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Music The White Heron by Tyrell Gallop.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . 42
I Need You (Outta My Head) by Courtney Baggett . . . . . . . . . . . 42
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Music Tyrell Gallop
The White Heron The White Heron came about when I first saw a heron at Lake Vann one morning while I was walking to class. I had never seen one in person before, and it just looked so peaceful and so pure. Every morning I saw this majestic creature just standing at the edge of the lake as if life was at ease. This bird became my inspiration for this piece because it made me realize that sometimes you have to take it easy, relax, and find peace within no matter how bad the situation may be. Listen to Tyrell’s composition: www.chowan.edu/BrownLady/Music
Courtney Baggett I Need You (Outta My Head) I listen to many different genres and I’m inspired by them all in my compositions. For this song, I was in a jazzy mood. When listening to music, I fall for simplicity every time because it is easy to follow and I believe that I show that in some of my compositions. When I write music, I first think of a scenario and in this case, I remembered all the times I heard someone complaining about someone or something and I would just think to myself, “is there anything you do like?” However, more often than not, there is something, or some reason. That scenario led me to write I Need You (Outta My Head) and the rest just flew free from there. Listen to Courtney’s composition: www.chowan.edu/BrownLady/Music
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Poems Falling In Hate by Victor Chilaka. ………………………………………………… 45
The Reoccurring Royal War by Victor Chilaka.………………………………………………… 46 The Girl I Once Was by Janice Hopkins………………………………………………… 46 My Love by James Hamilton .………………………………………………. 47
Diary by James Hamilton .………………………………………………. 47
More Than a Friend by Alexis Bracy.…………………………………………………. . 48 The Tiger and the Monkey by Alexis Bracy.…………………………………………………. . 48 I Song by Josh Gibbs. .…………………………………………………… 49
Red,White and Blue by Jesus Downing.………………………………………………… 49
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Poems Bird Song by Jesus Downing.………………………………………………… 49
Memory Lost by Jesus Downing.………………………………………………… 50
A Foreign Land by Graham Hobbs. .………………………………………………. 50
Shipwreck by Angelica Satchell.………………………………………………. 51
Inspiration by Nancy Altstatt ………………………………………………… 52
Thoughts on a Cold Day by Nancy Altstatt ………………………………………………… 53 The Day He Came Home by Mackenzie Reid . ……………………………………………… 54 What My Eyes See by Beverley Kwayke. ……………………………………………… 54
Tiny Sirens by Aaron Palmer. .………………………………………………… 55
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Falling In Hate Victor Chilaka
Mother Can you love a person for what they are And hate them for who they are? The curious obligation to love someone, Because it is your duty But when the die of revelation is cast, And the five dotted side of “truth” is revealed, All his sins and virulent lies surface I have every justified reason to hate him for who he is They have no right to judge me! You more than anyone else can relate with this Falling in hate with him was far more relieving Than falling in love He betrayed you, And abandoned me, Because he couldn’t control you with strings You didn’t sit on the mantle like a trophy, As he hoped you would The absurdity! Only an inconsiderate fool would expect his spouse To leave her freewill at the altar Just for his own stature, to look like a complete man
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With an “obedient” wife The audacity! When he laid the ring down on the night stand that Saturday morning, And asked you to sign the papers That would void the vows “For better or worse” made on March 22, 2010 Love is conditional Hate is certain He serenaded me with his compliments, Promised me a secure future and family That would involve both our fates united Our so-called sacred matrimony under one roof I hated him when we first met at the cafe But I fell in love with him that following Tuesday After we finished lunch together Imagine that, mother You hate someone because they made you fall in love Should have seen it coming, Was always fond of being in the company of professional skirts
The Reoccurring Royal War Victor Chilaka
That reoccurring royal war That has raged on for centuries past Thirty and two combatants spar on sixty-four feet Sixteen to each eternal opposing fleet Guided by two alternating generals Upon them the fate of all battles do weigh Distant in space, time, and discernment One side must win with better judgment
Dark against light Wrong move or right From day till night Nevermore than thirty casualties occur While protecting king from checkmate Lest the two fall into stalemate Crossing Homelands Eternal Soldiers Survive Combating Hierarchy Endlessly Shall Strive
The Girl I Once Was Janice Hopkins
I walk along the sea’s edge And watch the children play. It reminds me of the girl I was, The child who’s gone away. She too had loved to make High castles in the sand And race into the sea, Then dart back to the land. Yet, she hasn’t completely vanished. I see traces of her still In the woman that I am As I climb each sandy hill. I walk along the ocean’s rim And play tag with the sea. Again it shows the girl I was Remains a part of me. 46
Diary
James Hamilton Every day she sits back, looking out the stormy windows with nothing but a pen and an open book in her lap. Constantly she writes trying to hide her feelings and her heart, slowly and slowly it starts falling apart. Tired of the lies tired of the hurt, the tears become harder and harder to support. She looks for love like a pirate looking for gold, but still can’t find that true treasure to cherish and hold. She wonders why and what she has done to deserve this hell, when she caught him with another her heart fell. Now as she sits by watching other couples walk by she can’t help but isolate herself and cry. Love is a constant battle for her and she rides around on her horse with no saddle. Will she try and confide in me? Or will she continue to hide all her feelings in her diary
My Love James Hamilton As the wind blows and the sun becomes the moon My love for you continues to bloom. Being with you feels right in every way, It puts all of my fears and anger at bay. There’s such a strong sense of serenity that fills my mind You have shown me true love and now I am no longer blind. Your voice is a symphony; Your eyes are connected to the rhythm of my heartbeat. The way you make me feel is unmatchable; My heart from your grasp isn’t detachable. Your aura is so perfect, so angelic; You’re my prized possession like a family relic. All I want to do is love and cherish you; Never to let you go, damn I love you so. Promise to always be here and I’ll do the same; The way I feel about you is no game. I’m your sun so always be my moon; And together forever we will always bloom. 47
More than a Friend
Alexis Bracy
The sun has shined upon my very existence, Gentle rays of warmth from her presence. Now I understand how the morning flowers Acquire the strength from the life giving powers. Like the beginning of a brand new day, From strangers, to a friendly way. Waiting in anticipation The next time of our communication. The things, to travel this path The things, to make her laugh. How you strengthen my pride, And in me she can confide. Everyday together longer Everyday together stronger.
Knowing that I can’t let go Wandering should I let her know. Greater than a casual friend Life and love beyond the end. I lay my love upon her feet For her my heart shall only beat. My every action, her life to ease With every day, I live to please. She brings meaning to my life. Meaning of only a future wife. Bonds strengthen by the heart, Only death shall tear apart.
The Tiger and the Monkey Alexis Bracy
The tiger was in the forest walking over the area that he hunts and dwells. The tiger did not know that he was being followed by a hunter with a gun. The monkey in the tree had been watching and following the tiger and the hunter in amusement. The hunter raised his gun towards the tiger. The monkey started to throw fruit, branches and anything that was available to rain down on the hunter. The monkey yelled, “Run tiger, run. I will hold him off until you get away.” The tiger was alerted and able to escape. The next day, the hunter had the monkey pinned to the side of a cliff that was too smooth for the monkey to climb. The hunter said, “You thought it was cute to help the tiger get away. I guess you can take his place.” Just before the hunter would shoot the monkey, the tiger pounced on the hunter. The hunter fell to the ground and dropped the gun. The tiger yelled, “Monkey, get out of here and back in the tree before I remember that you taste good.” Once the monkey ran off, the tiger got off the hunter and said, “You will not get your prize today either,” then disappeared in the forest. (One good turn deserves another) 48
I Song Josh Gibbs
I will acknowledge my weakness, I will acknowledge my flaws. I will acknowledge my insecurities but that’s only because By me seeing my weakness, I see my strength. To be is to know, but to know is to think. I know I will fall but I’m not afraid. Fear is for those who know and yet stayed. I will fall but I shall rise. Like a new day and to my enemies an unpleasant surprise. I will make mistakes I will let you down. I will apologize and I will be around. When the world gets heavy I’ll give you a lift. I will stay determined even when I start to drift.
I will not run I will not fear. Even when danger is close and near. I will be brave and face my enemies. Because the victory over them means a stronger me. I will win but then again I will lose. However in which order they come is for me to choose. I can set myself up for failure or success. I can think thoughts of peace but I can feel stress. I will try and give it my all. I will not admit defeat I will stand tall. To the world and spread my message of peace. I will not stop until my goals are reached.
Red, White & Blue Jesus Downing
Together we pull. Freedom with the pride of all. Rise after the storm.
Bird Song
Jesus Downing
Swoop swiftly on gale. Unveil thy vocal with pride. Descend from the storm. 49
Memory Lost Jesus Downing
Evolution defined in theories of science. Technology decoded with light speed codes. Nature extracted and destroyed by man. Space broken down and examined by explorers.
A baby’s delicate first steps. Laughing with a great crowd. Fragile kisses of love, deceit, and commitment. That last hangover relapse.
Families gather like a locust swarm. Birthdays celebrated like the 4th of July. Parties shake cities and rocks towns. The world is a flash mob.
What did you say? I told you what? How do you know? Who are you?
A Foreign Land Graham Hobbs
Sitting and listening to the foreign land’s beat, Ironic how mysterious this land can be. A place where chaos and calmness meet, A land that is foreign but is open to all to see. As the darkness turns into the brightness of the day, There is so much chatter and work to be done. To the untrained man, it seems calm and easy in a way, All of the activity of the community working as one. Ethnicity and Religion isn’t a factor to the neighbors at all, This community serves everyone, and work can be fun. This neighborhood is welcoming to each and every one of y’all, The beauty of the foreign land resembles the setting sun. The chorus of neighbors rises as the darkness disappears, Beauty never leaves, whether it be summer, spring, winter, or fall. The foreign land has certain thrills and comfort, delightfulness and fear, This foreign land doesn’t have to be foreign at all. 50
ShipWreck Angelica Satchell Can I be repaired? It is traveling through the vast sea of life; Strong, but soon to be fragile, With a pace that can be traveled in all directions. We journey through life seeking safe hold, All the while Knowing danger will come; Ignoring situations soon to be; becoming victims of our own blind faith. It sees dark clouds, ominous winds, With each bone chilling blow; The waves gradually striking against it. We seem to go through life at rapid speed, barely catching a breathe; Starting to sink in our own uncertainty and hardship, Trials and tribulations. Boom, crash, explode, splitting into pieces, seeing them go everywhere; Now noticing and wanting to be fixed, But knowing it will take strength. Oh no they’re here, pushing and pushing, wanting it to go away; Can’t take it anymore, they have to be repaired; They will be repaired. Don’t give up, don’t give up; Looking back at something that can’t be changed; Eyes forward, what do you see? Gathering the wood and steel to start over fresh; Letting the anchor down to think about adventure, Then continuing on, with a stronger ship. Take a deep breath, we’re still alive; Putting ourselves back together step by step, reaching for recovery; Finally there, more life ahead, so lets take advantage. 51
Inspiration
Nancy Altstatt
It can come in the form of a dream or a fleeting vision encapsulated in a thought It can ride the wings of an emotion which comes at the end of a clever movie or the close of the pages of a good book It can appear as a jab, a tickle, or a swift kick that fine tunes your awareness and realigns your direction It can reveal itself when you’re most unprepared or unwilling It can catch you by surprise, when you thought you had everything figured out It can also leave you like a lost love, vacant and wanting Whatever its form, it can paint your heart, and envelop your soul It can lead to great revelation or sometimes crushing disappointment It can be as brief as a glance, as soft as a whisper, or as loud as a clap of thunder At its inception, it is energizing and motivating It is the foundation of the birth of new ideas and innovations It can grow from observations or relationships It is the thing that legacies are made of And it can be beautifully simple or remarkably complex It should never be stifled or discouraged, but rather fed and given room to grow It can change the entire world, or maybe just your own It is as necessary as breath and as fleeting It is passion, captured and shared It can be accessed at any time and with few tools, but always with a muse It can never be taken from you and can always be found, Around the next corner, at the close of the next sunset, in the newest person you meet, or the oldest person you know, in the sweetest sound you hear, or the solace of silence It is yours, and becomes you when you claim it for your own But do not tarry, do not hesitate, because as quick as it appears, it can be gone and you will have to wait for the next spark to ignite.
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Thoughts on a Cold Day Nancy Altstatt
Dedicated to Lindsay Brook I miss my youth today, as I look in the mirror and see another line on my brow, another glimmer on my temple. Episodes that mark the passage of time sting with realization that I can do nothing to slow it down. I miss my youth today, surrounded by young people who don’t remember the Eighties, who don’t know who Kurt Cobain was, and who don’t know what it’s like to make a discovery or have an original thought without the internet telling them first. I miss my youth today, as I catch myself saying things like, “when I was your age…,” “I used to be able to do that,” and “one day you’ll understand.” It wasn’t that long ago that the whole world was in front of me, waiting for me to dive in and make my impression, But the world spins on and my feet got firmly planted, in spite of my best intentions. I miss my youth today, the memories of traveling uncharted roads, perhaps taking the one “less traveled by,” getting lost and not having an annoying voice in my ear telling me I’m going the wrong way. The memories of the time that’s passed so rapidly can be both painful and comforting at the same time. What I don’t miss from my youth, is the uncertainty, the concern for the unsolicited opinions of others, and the lack of self-assurance. I don’t miss the ways in which I held myself back and kept myself from living, for fear of failure, mistakes, or judgment. For the same march of time that I curse in moments of nostalgia, is the same that has made me wiser and stronger, braver and more confident. I suppose every generation misses its core, its significant elements, and the moments that shaped and molded us into the people we are. Still, I wish these young people had the pleasure of hearing a Pearl Jam, Nirvana, or Counting Crows song on the radio for the first time. I wish they knew the freedom of not being tied to an electronic device, Or the joy in being able to put five bucks in your gas tank and ride around with your friends for hours, the whole weekend long. To be able to convince them to take advantage of every moment, to not lose sight of simple things like respect, originality, and integrity, would make my lost youth worthwhile, But it’s not the order of things, and so I’m just left missing my youth, but embracing the gifts that have come from the progression of time, and sitting back and thinking to myself, “you will one day miss your youth too…really, you will.”
53
The Day He Came Home Mackenzie Reid
As the woman rides in the front seat of the hearse, Remembering what she had put in her purse; To remind her of the boy in the casket, From when she brought him home in tiny a basket. As they approach the front doors of the church She notices the tree that the boy thought was a birch. People are gathered to welcome him back From the place that is under attack. The woman drops to the ground. Only part of his body was found. When the six men in uniform take one step more, She remembers the day he went off to war.
W hat My Eyes See Beverley Kwakye
When will the light shine and let me live Bring back the light and spark you see The light and spark you see does not equal up to the real me This mask I put up every day, to conceal what the eye shouldn’t see This constant wrestle with life binds me down and won’t let me go I try to pass it but it’s much stronger than I I cease to remember a day when I was me The water pouring from my eyes, that puts me to sleep at night When my mask once fell, you almost saw, My pain My solitude My tears My fear Me 54
Tiny Sirens Aaron Palmer
Ice skies and soaked cheeks mark me tonight. A harbinger, a wake trails. Upbeat heart and light smile mask what truly are my terrible ways. Purest intentions, they leave broken. Earnest in heart yet still with no love. Cold nights and wishful prayers spoken aloud for no fear of anyone hearing, Only for lack of ears. Such a vacuum, hidden by bone, cold and empty as space, Not so beautiful though. With no stars, moon, or sun to shine their light and guide a way, Stuck in perpetual heart break and misery I give way. My past, one no man could be proud of. Future bleak and uncertain. Memories of her and her and all of them dance about like tiny sirens calling me back. That look of passion and love, when her eyes dance like fire eludes me. They all had it once, I extinguished those flames. Yet still, I feel, on hands and knees, I feel. Through the shadows and black, I feel. Through my past, present and future, through the vast emptiness that is my shattered soul, I feel. For the match, The love, The look, To light my passion again.
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Prose Regret by Jessica Vallejos……………………………………………….…. 57
Red Anomaly by Sarah Smith……………………………………………….…. .. 59
The Hallmark Holiday by Lindsay Brook……………………………………………….…. 62 From My Eyes: My Story by Atiya Spencer……………………………………………….….. 67
56
Regret Jessica Vallejos
It’s hard, trying to live out each day, with this regret. The thought of not being able to say what I wanted and now, it’s all gone. He was my rock, to me, he was Superman. I regret not spending enough time with him, not going to those stupid games. Not believing him when he said “I love you.” And now it’s all gone. How am I to go on? How am I to live, without the best man in my life, my soldier, my dad? He was the best guy I ever knew. Yeah we had our little fights and he fussed a lot, but in the end, I knew who would be there when I needed someone to talk to at two in the morning. And now there’s no one to call. My mom was here, alone. My brother and I tried to help her, but it was so hard. She couldn’t provide for two teenage kids, one in college, and the other about to head there himself. How was she to pay for that? What was she going to do for groceries? Living on love wasn’t going to fix all of the problems! She needed him, we needed him…. But I’m the one who needed him most. Why wouldn’t he listen to me? I told him over and over. He needed to go; it would help and would keep me sane. But no, he didn’t listen. Like most men, he was hard headed and thought he knew everything. I remember the day perfectly, such a terrible and dark day. Earlier in the week he was complaining about a stomach pain. We thought it was just his gallbladder acting up again, so we didn’t worry too much. A few days later he said he wanted to go to the hospital and when he asked to go to the hospital, that’s how we knew something was wrong. I entered the creepy and dull looking hospital. The lady in the ER was looking half asleep. As we checked him in, I noticed some families in tears one of their loved ones didn’t make it. I hoped that wasn’t the case for us. I looked to my right and saw the cleaning lady, a bitter looking African American woman, cleaning the floors. The whole placed smelled like lemon Pledge. I looked to my left and the TV was on. It was the news. They were showing some sort of new flu virus going around. I hoped and prayed that was what my father had and we could leave. Hospitals really creep me out. It’s like you can smell the dead people…. And the lemon Pledge. Once my dad was done checking in, he sat next to me with his hospital bracelet on. He knew I was worried. He could always tell. My anxiety was so bad I couldn’t breathe. He took my hand a looked me in the eyes and said, “Everything’s going to be alright. I know my body better than anyone. I will be fine.” Almost in tears, I just nodded and tried to get my attention on something else. It took a good two hours before they called him back. My brother and I sat in the waiting room while my mom went back with him. An hour later, my mom came back into the waiting room. I was trying to tell myself that he was fine, he just needed surgery to get his gallbladder removed and he would be fine. My mom looked weird. I could tell she had been crying. This was not a good sign. She said the doctor wanted to talk to us.
57
Regret Jessica Vallejos
They had quickly moved my dad upstairs to a hospital room. We went up the elevator for what seemed like forever. Once we reached the floor, I could see people in their hospital beds prepped for surgery, some falling over themselves, and some looking like they might not make it through the night. Finally we reached my father’s room, Room 804. I opened the door and he was lying in the hospital bed with a gown on, not looking so good. My brother, mom, and I sat quietly until the doctor came in. The doctor arrived carrying my dad’s chart. He stood at the foot of his bed and whispered, “I have some awful news.” I looked at the doctor with tears in my eyes. My brother was holding strong for me and my mom. The doctor shook his head. “I’m sorry to say but your father has cancer.” As soon as I heard those words, I couldn’t take it anymore. I ran out of the room. I could hear someone running after me. It was my mom. Eventually I couldn’t take it anymore and I just dropped to the floor and began to cry and scream. My mom picked me up and held me tight. “Everything is going to be okay.” She whispered. I looked at her and shook my head. “No! It’s not. He’s going to die!” I screamed. “I told him he had to go to the doctor to get checked out and he didn’t and now look at him. He looks terrible. Lying in the hospital bed probably going to die any minute!” My mom quickly put my head on her shoulder as I began to weep more and more. I couldn’t get any of the words out. “I told him. I told him. I-I told him!” I kept repeating. My mom stroking my back said, “I know sweetheart, but all we can do now is just sit and pray for him.” I nodded and began to pray with my mom. The next few days he was fine. The doctor said he was doing very well. They might even be able to get rid of it. I knew not to get my hopes up, in case the worse happened. Each day I came to visit him; he always had a smile on his face and would make some kind of goofy joke. Three days later, I arrived to the hospital and a nurse met me at the door. I knew this wasn’t a good sign. She walked me back and I saw my mom in the corner with her hand over her mouth and my brother trying to stay calm. I walked over to my dad and there he lay. His corpse was pale and almost white and he wasn’t breathing. I immediately dropped to my knees. I put my arms around him and just began to weep. He was my everything. Why was he gone? I needed him. It’s funny how life works. I guess the lesson is that you should never take anything for granted. Don’t let fear stop you from saying what you really feel because you never know when it’s that person’s time to go. I love you, dad.
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Red Anomaly Sarah Smith
I looked down at the creature stretched out before me, its dull red scales and slitted black eyes reminding me faintly of a snake. And yet, this creature was a humanoid. November 21, 2012 Specimen would stand approximately sixty-nine inches, arm span of twenty-six from shoulder to fingertips. Confirmed as male, both from genital observation and blood testings. Eyes are silted like a cat and skin is scaled. Both lead me to believe specimen is reptilian, though unconfirmed. I paused in my writings to glance back at the creature on my examination table, then scribbled in dull ruby red in the scale’s description. Circling the table, I couldn’t stop my mind wondering where this creature came from. Certainly, it was not a native to Earth. His size and location of dwelling made it almost certain he would have been found long before now. I smiled, feeling a boyish excitement bubbling within me. I felt like I was in one of the science fiction movies of my childhood. My excitement did not fade, but I pushed it aside to focus on my work. Ink flew across the pages of my journal, my pen scratching noisily to keep up with my flow of thoughts and observations. I recorded the size of the scales on different parts of his body; they were harder and thicker on his back and smaller and lighter on his front, both in color and density. Have pulled scales from various parts of the specimen’s body; plan to put them through a stress test machine to measure the strength of the scales. The scales with the strongest breaking point will show the best protected part of the specimen’s exterior. S1-S4 were taken from torso. S5-S8 were taken from upper back. S9-S12 were taken from lower back. I considered pulling scales from each of the arms and legs, then decided for it. Best to be thorough, I thought, as I carefully pulled a scale from the specimen’s left arm, labeling and recording it before placing it with the others in a cooler, so as to preserve it until I was ready to experiment with it.
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Red Anomaly Sarah Smith
After repeating the previous steps with his other arm and legs, I approached the creature’s head, looking closely at his face. There was no hair and the scales were numerous and tiny, barely a millimeter at their longest point. I used a scalpel to scrape inside the small holes located halfway between the mouth and eyes; I assumed this must be the nose. After sealing, labeling, and recording the contents so as to study what final scents this creature smelled before death, I carefully opened his mouth with my gloved hands, peering inside. I was surprised at what I found within and tilted his head back for a better view. Small pointed teeth, all curving back, lined the mouth in two rows, top and bottom. The tongue was long and forked and, remembering my earlier observations, I immediately began looking for a Jacobson’s Organ. My instincts proved correct as I spied two small holes in the roof of the creature’s mouth, close behind the second row of teeth. Placed on either side of this snake-like organ was a sharp fang, both folded in close to the roof of the mouth. I stole a few moments to record my findings, then delved back into the mouth with excitement. I carefully lifted up one of the fangs with a probe, examining it more closely. Without warning, the second fang snapped up out of reflex, grazing a finger on my left hand. Hissing through my teeth at the sudden and surprising pain, I was dismayed to see red seeping through the cut in my gloves. Not knowing what this creature was or was capable of, I quickly removed my torn glove and thrust my hand under the sink, hoping the flowing water would wash out any venom or other substance from the fangs before it entered my bloodstream. I cleaned the small cut as best I could, pouring alcohol on it for good measure after its soapy bath. I sat down on a short stool in my lab while carefully bandaging the wound. I glanced once at the clock, noticing the late hour, then closed my eyes and tried to relax in an effort to better feel if anything was amiss due to an alien substance. I felt fine: the cut on my finger didn’t hurt nearly as much as it did before, my breathing remained steady, and my thoughts clear and coherent. After a few minutes I opened my eyes and examined my finger. To my utter shock, there was no cut. “Impossible!” I exclaimed to the empty room. Rushing over to the sink, I examined the rubber glove.Yes, there was a small tear in one of the fingers, just as there should be. I looked at my finger one last time. This made no sense to me! There was no cut, not even a faint scar where there should have been. I admit to standing there, dumbfounded, for several moments before recording these recent events. Closing my journal, I rubbed my temples to quell a sudden headache. Perhaps I was just tired, delusional. It had been a long day; all of it spent examining the red creature. Some rest was all I needed. I was certain that once I had a clear head all the answers would be easier to find. It was possible my glove had been defective to begin with and in my excitement I did not notice. I chastised myself as I grabbed my coat. Such foolish mistakes could be deadly. Did I not learn that from the lectures before lab when I was still a student in school? No food or drink in the lab, always examine your tools for defects that could skew your results or cause harm to you or your lab mates. Primary rules I had forgotten…still. My mind would not leave me at peace, or perhaps it was my pride unwilling to admit to such a careless mistake. Setting my coat down, I again walked to the creature, peering inside its still open mouth.
60
Red Anomaly Sarah Smith
Both fangs had retracted, the probe I used to disturb them resting beside the creature’s neck where it had slipped from my hand and fallen in my haste to clean the wound. “It doesn’t make sense…” I muttered to myself, then shook my head. “Tomorrow. I will investigate this red anomaly tomorrow.” I covered the creature with a white sheet, then pushed it inside the cooling unit. Once more grabbing my coat, I turned out the lights and made my way through the quiet and dimly lit hallways to my car, my mind still running circles around the incident despite my efforts to leave the matter alone. The chilly air as I stepped outside provided the distraction I needed as I pulled my coat tighter around me to better fight the winter-like night. Despite the temperature, I was forced to stop, mesmerized by the many stars above in the clear night sky. I sat down on the steps to my lab and let myself be taken captive by their beauty. I know not how long I sat there in the cold and quiet. Did the creature come from one of those stars? I wondered in the stillness. Out of countless, vast and unexplored solar systems, surely ours is not the only one with sentient life. Perhaps my little red friend came from up there, and then made Earth his final resting place, accidental or purposefully it matters little in the end. With a soft sigh, I rose from my seat on the cold stairs, walking slowly to my car as my thoughts chased each other once more. I unlocked the old Chevy, absentmindedly scratching at my left hand before climbing inside, not noticing the redness that was not there before, or the three, tiny, ruby colored scales on my finger.
61
The Hallmark Holiday Lindsay Brook
“Order up!” the cook shouts from the kitchen. “Sidney, you’ve got food up,” the manager, says and she hustles by with a tray over her shoulder. She has age lines around her eyes, which probably comes from the stress of raising two girls on her own. She left her husband a few years back when she finally realized he couldn’t give up the booze. She is blonde, average height, with a quick temper. “All right,” I reply and she doesn’t look back. I turn and head down the hallway to the kitchen. “Sid, your food’s ready,” Jo, the line cook, says as I push the swinging door open and walk into the chaos of the kitchen. “So I heard,” I reply to Jo with a little too much sarcasm, which I quickly apologize for. You never want to have a cook irritated with you when you work at a restaurant. It means sloppy and late food, topped with a bad tip.We have three cooks; one does the frying, one works the grill and the other, the line; where the preparations for the sandwiches and salads are done. The dishwasher, Dan, is a forty year old dude who loves to make sexual comments to all the waitresses. Thankfully he stood busily spraying off a plate as I walked around him to the heat lamp where my table’s food sat waiting for me. He wants butter but no sour cream for his baked potato, he needs ketchup for his french-fries. She wants Thousand Island on the salad, which doesn’t get any onions. My hands are flying as I gather the requirements. The ketchup dispenser squirts out air and sprays all over my white uniform. “Uh crap,” I mutter. Turning around I grab the spare dispenser and replace the old. After stacking the tray appropriately and smudging the ketchup stain into my shirt, I hike the tray up and over my shoulder, whirl, and marched back out the swinging door. It’s Valentine’s Day, the busiest day of the year for a restaurant. Grabbing a tray stand I walk back through the hallway towards the front, into utter pandemonium. Waitresses run back and forth, checking on tables, taking orders, pouring drinks, ringing up tickets, and spraying down tables.The dining area is dimly lit. The owner’s wife says it sets a, “romantic tone”, but I personally think it’s stupid. Who likes reading a menu in the dark? I weave my way, tray overhead, around the tables filled with couples, avoiding the other waitresses as I go. Getting the tray stand assembled I set the tray down and place the orders in front of the very affectionate and attractive middle aged couple. It’s their anniversary and they ask me to take their picture later when I bring them their check. I say yes and ask if they need anything else, which they don’t, so I turn to check on my couple at the bar. 62
The Hallmark Holiday Lindsay Brook
They had all come in at once, lined up in twos at the “Please Wait to be Seated” sign like beasts headed up and into the ark.They came in, ready for their steaks and crab cakes: the Tavern’s specialties.We had gotten swamped in minutes; one second I was taking my time with the first table, telling them about our Valentine’s Day specials, the next I have tables everywhere. The anniversary couple is situated for now but will need their check and their picture taken soon. My guy with the bald head and his wife at the bar are both sucking back Long Islands and I can tell they are going to be ready for another one soon.There is the family of five sitting up front with two kids in booster seats. Now that’s going to be a mess to clean up. The kids have already begun torturing their meal into submission.There is the businessy-looking woman with short cropped hair and her man-to-match sitting in the dark corner in the back of the restaurant who still need me to bring them their food. And the elderly couple; sitting, barely speaking a word, not touching at all, still waiting for me to get their drink order. “Hello, my name is Sidney,” I say to them when I approach, “I am going to be your waitress for the evening.” I heard somewhere that if you say your name and make eye contact with your customers, that it makes you, the waitress, more of a individual and less of an anonymous server, and as a result you receive a better tip. “Happy Valentine’s Day,” I add with a smile. They glance up, nod, and ask about the specials. I rattle off the list, which at this point I have memorized. They don’t open the menu. They want the Surf and Turf, I jot down the specifics and marching back into the kitchen I place the ticket in front of Jo and turn away without a word. I head for the drink machine. My mind freezes. I came here for a reason-what did I need again? Crap. I pause there for a minute, standing immobile, looking and feeling dumb. Oh, right! My old people need their drinks, I also need two more Long Islands, and maybe if I bring that mom a pile of napkins, she will catch the hint and clean up after her kids. Oh! And I’ve got to check on that couple and see if they need their bill yet. “Order up!” A chef shouts. “Is it mine?” I ask. “Yup.” “Be right back.” Walking out to the front, I hand off the waters to the elderly couple who still aren’t speaking. Have they been together so long that they have run out of things to say? How long have they been together? I’d guess about 60 years, they look old as hell. The lady has her white hair up high in a tight bun, wearing a long skirt and a matching jacket, the kind with the shoulder pads. She smiles and thanks me. The husband doesn’t say a word and as I place his water in front of him I notice the hearing aid. Poor lady, even if she had something to talk to him about, he couldn’t hear her. She has probably given up trying. I walk back to the bar, and approach the bald man and his wife, and as I assumed they are each ready for another Long Island. After preparing them I place them in front of the couple. The lady has on a nice green blouse and her cheeks and chest are flushed from the alcohol, she is getting to the point where she giggles incessantly. The guy, with his immaculate bald head, is smiling in good humor at her noticeable intoxication. I bet he thinks he is going to get lucky tonight. 63
The Hallmark Holiday Lindsay Brook
Turning around I bump into Jen the bartender. We both hiss out apologies and go about our business. She is one of those overly tall and skinny girls that could totally win America’s Next Top model if she wanted to. She has the most passive personality I have ever come across. She is just one of those people that when you talk about her you can’t help saying, “God! She is so nice!” I hope her husband is sweet to her, I thought to myself as I walk back into the kitchen. She would be an easy person to take advantage of. Walking through the swinging door, I rush to the heat lamp and begin plating the food; and again I snuck by unnoticed by Dan, thank God. Alright, the business lady wants to add cheese and bacon to her salad with ranch dressing. Her man needs A1 steak sauce, a knife, and extra lemon slices for the crab cake. Hustling, I grab, plate, lift, and rush out the door again. Arriving at the table they have to unclasp their hands in order to make room for their meals. Awe, how cute, now could you please hurry up and move? I’ve got things to do here people! Food is delivered, they are good, they smile, they have what they need, I’m out. Turning I realize I still haven’t gotten the anniversary couple’s check ready and their dishes are clean and waiting to be cleared. “How was everything?” I ask as I pick up their dirty dishes. “Delicious,” she says and the husband agrees. “Good, I’m glad you enjoyed it. Were you interested in dessert tonight?” “Oh boy, what do you have?” she asks with a guilty expression, deciding to indulge herself for the evening. I give her the list and she wants a piece of the three layer chocolate cake. Good choice. Picking up their plates I run to the back to get it for her. While I’m back there I think about what else I can grab. Oh crap, I still didn’t bring those napkins to the mom, and I mentally put that on my To Do list. With dessert and napkins in hand I walk to the dining room. Dropping off the slice of cake to the woman in the back section, I turn towards the front and head for the family of five that sits up near the front window. The dad is a big guy, not fat, just big. He is leaning back in his chair looking bored. His plate is clean almost to the point where it crosses my mind that if I’d looked over sooner I might have caught him licking it. The mom is fussing at the youngest of the three kids trying to get him to sit back down in the booster seat before he topples over.The middle child is sucking on a french-fry, and the eldest, I’d say about eight or nine is coloring in a coloring book with remarkable accuracy; impressive.The mom looks up at me when I approach, I try and slide the napkins on the table subtly but I’m pretty sure she caught my intent and gave me the good old “I don’t think so” look. And I get it, it’s cool. I mean if I had three kids at home 24/7 I would look forward to just that one chance to not have to pick up after them either. So silently I forgive her for the mess I know will be left for me to clean.
64
The Hallmark Holiday Lindsay Brook
“Were you all interested in anything else?” I ask while gathering as many dirty dishes into my arms as I can fit. “No, I think we are all set, thanks,” the mom says. And as she smiles at me I finally see how pretty she is. Straight teeth, full lips, nice nose, long lashes around big green eyes. Her hair is up, which I think is a mom thing, easier to keep sticky kid fingers out of it that way I figure. Does she know she is pretty? I wonder if her husband is that guy that you think is sweet and wonderful and then you get married, pop out a few kids and he leaves or cheats or just does nothing. Does he tell her she is pretty like I imagine he used to? Why didn’t they just come alone tonight, no kids? Do they go on dates anymore? My boyfriend loves taking me out when he is home, and I consider him to be one of the good ones, but maybe one day I will be forgotten and under appreciated too. Turning away from the family I head for the register. I take the opportunity to swing by each of my tables in turn. The elderly couple needs some more water, the matching couple is fine. “Steaks great, cooked perfectly,” he says. The anniversary couple is finishing the last bite of cake as I approach. She feeds it to him. How cute. She asks if I would mind snapping their picture now. “Sure,” I say. “I’d love to.” Taking a-hold of the camera, I step back. She gets out of her chair and goes to sit in his lap. When she is snuggled in I ask if they’re ready. They nod. I do a countdown and right as I say one he turns his head and kisses her cheek. I look into the camera at the shot and can’t help but smile at the happiness I see. “Perfect,” I say to them. I laugh to myself thinking about the fact that that’s something my boyfriend would do. He is sly like that, and always catches me off guard with his very abrupt childlike ways. I should really take more pictures with him, I think to myself. He moved to Oklahoma eight months ago, and I have only seen him three times since then. I can’t recall us taking any pictures during those visits. At the bar I find my Long Island couple making out. Gross. I decide to leave them to it and move on to the register. I ring up the family of five and the anniversary pair. I pass out the checks and head back to the kitchen. “Order up!” I praise myself for my impeccable timing and head towards the heat lamp.This time Dan is right on cue as I passed by him. “Mhmmmm,” he moans, and looking straight at my ass. I ignore him. I plate my food quickly, before he can say anything else, and I walk back out the door. As I head for the elderly couple I see the family of five getting up to leave. The parents are getting the kids in their coats and herding them out the door. I watch them through the front windows as they make their way down the sidewalk, and just as they are about to be out of sight I see the husband grab for the pretty moms hand. I smile as I put the specials in front of the older couple. Maybe that dad isn’t one of those guys that forgets to appreciate his wife and show affection. “I need cocktail sauce!” the old man shouts at me, making my attention snap to him in surprise. His wife looks at me apologetically, and I nod and walk to the kitchen once more.
65
The Hallmark Holiday Lindsay Brook
The rest of the night goes on in a blur. Tables come in, tables go out. The moment I finish wiping a table down it fills again and the process starts all over. Couples roll right on in, tall ones, fat ones, nice ones, rude ones, pretty ones, old ones. They all have their own stories, some I know, some I don’t, but most I just guess at. I work with and around the other waitresses constantly bumping into, apologizing, and thanking each in turn. We stay busy from the time we hit five o’clock to the moment I turn the lock in the front door and hit the lights at almost midnight. I guess that’s what you would expect in a tavern on Valentine’s Day. The day that no matter the story, no matter the circumstances, you adhere to the tradition and go out with your Valentine. Well, except of course, for those of us that can’t physically be with our Valentines, and resort to a late night telephone call and a softly whispered, “I love you.”
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From My Eyes: My Story Atiya Spencer
……….Bang! My heart dropped and my mind was lost. Is this a joke? I quickly turned to my friends in fear; all our faces were in shock. Should I run? I don’t want to leave my friends. I hear a deep voice rushing us to an area out of sight. I have this heavy object to my back not knowing what is it, but I refuse to move. I felt like no one was around to save us. It was like a movie to me, dark, rainy, and no one to be found. Am I going to die? Will I ever get the chance to see my family again? All of us, facing him in a horizontal line, shaking in our clothing.We didn’t have anything to give him and I quickly hid my bag in front of me with my phone in my sleeve. We were rushed down into a deep place. Muddy, wet, dark and unstable is all I can remember. Us walking down together holding hands, hearing the leaves crunch rapidly made everything seem like it was coming to a quick end. Is this really happening? Why us? I feel the rain coming down on me, dripping down onto my face like a window pane. I still had my phone in my hand and my texting skills came in handy. I turned my back light off and sound so he wouldn’t notice me. I quickly texted almost everyone in my phone to come rescue us. I’m surprised I still had service because there’s no service in the woods. One of my best friend’s texted back and thought it was a joke. I felt distraught because I was being serious and she didn’t believe me. I didn’t think to call 911; I just knew someone needed to come quick. I looked to my right and saw my friend in tears. He was tearing her apart and breaking her down. I wanted to help so badly but I couldn’t. I felt her grab my hoodie in fear and pain. I began to stay calm and quiet, texting even more. Somebody got the memo and 911 called me. I was whispering but they couldn’t hear me, hopefully they tracked where we were. I lost service and lost all hope. I thought I was about to die. I looked again to my right and saw him assaulting my other friend. Why is this happening to us? Am I next? Then I saw the reflection of flashing lights and heard sirens. He told us to stay down and not to move. He got away quickly because all we heard were leaves crunching as rapidly as they did when we went down. We just laid there for a second, looked at each other and ran the faster than we had before. I felt like we reached the top of the hill in three seconds. I heard all of our hearts beating fast and hard breathing. There it was a police car and us banging on it in tears. We all just broke down and cried. All I wanted to do was see a familiar face and comfort me. I then saw my mom and ran to her in tears. I couldn’t tell her what happened. I was just happy to see her and to be alive. She did not care about anything. She was just glad that we were safe. I saw one of my friend’s mom running down the street crying and asking what happened holding her daughter. My other friend was in my arms just silent as a mouse and then her mom arrived. More cop cars and ambulances began surrounding us. I felt like I was in horror movie and at the end when everyone comes to the rescue. 67
From My Eyes . . . Atiya Spencer
We then were separated for the rest of the night. All I had was my phone until they took it from me. So many thoughts were running through my head on the silent ride to the police station that made me appreciate life much more. I arrived at the station, still in my wet clothing and as cold as a winter day. Nothing to eat, drink, nor something to keep me warm. It was just me, myself, and I all alone for three hours in an isolated room being interrogated.
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Contributors Nancy Altstatt is a senior English major. Nfon Asuquo is a junior Art major. Courtney Baggett is a senior Music major. Alexis Bracy is a Chowan graduate. He majored in Social Sciences. Lindsay Brook is a 2013 Chowan graduate. She majored in English. Jordon Card is a senior Religion and Mathematics major. Macaulay Chilaka Jr. is a junior Graphic Communications major. Victor Chilaka is a junior English major. Jesus Downing is a senior Psychology major. Jake Thornton is a 2013 Chowan graduate. He majored in History. Tyrell Gallop is a senior Music major. Josh Gibbs is a 2013 Chowan graduate. He majored in Interdisciplinary Studies. James Hamilton is a sophomore Psychology major. Graham Hobbs is a junior History major.
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Contributors Janice Hopkins is a non-traditional student focusing on Creative Writing. Jennifer Humphrey is a junior History major. Adam Kerns is a senior Interdisciplinary Studies major. Beverly Kwakye is a junior English major. Michele Lawrence is a senior Social Sciences major. Ariana Munden is a Graphic Communications major. Aaron Palmer is a junior English major. Mackenzie Reid is a sophomore History major. Angelica Satchell is a senior Psychology major. Sarah Smith is a junior Biology major. Atiya Spencer is a junior English major. Jake Thornton is a 2013 Chowan graduate. He majored in History. Jessica Vallejos is a sophomore English major.
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