The end was near

“Until the lion writes his own story, the tale of the hunt will always glorify the hunter.”

The Soy Autor writing process was developed in collaboration with young people at-risk of, victims of or perpetrators of violence in El Salvador. In 2017, this innovative program expanded into Chicago to create tangible high quality opportunities that nourish the minds, expand the voices and share the personal truths of young people who have long been underserved and underestimated.Through the process of drafting, revising, illustrating and publishing memoirs, the Author’s Circle members develop reflection, critical thinking, camaraderie, conflict resolution and positive self-projection.

This North Lawndale Author’s Circle has been based at the Firehouse Community Arts Center, as part of Chicago CRED program.

In collaboration with:

The End Was Near Anthony Byrd

Have you ever been in a situaaon where you almost lost everything you had?

When I was 18 I bought my 1st pii. She was 3 months old. I didn’t care what anybody thought, I really wanted one. When I found out my cousin was selling some I told him to slide with the preeest one. He pulled up with this beauuful white and ger striped female. She was preey. He wanted $200 for her.

AAer I got her, I got on the blue line at Damen and got off at Cicero and went to my cousin’s house and showed him. He wanted her, but I wasn’t folding. I sat over there for about an hour, then lee to go get some flea medicine from my crib. I took my dog with me.

One of the biggest mistakes I ever made.

When I got home I started looking for the medicine, but then I couldn’t find it. A few minutes later my mom came upstairs and I tried to hide the dog in a kennel.

When she walked in my new pii and my other dog Doug was playing. Doug was my very 1st dog. He was a black and white Jack Russell terrier.

She said, “is that the damn pii?” I looked and said,” Yeah, but she is not staying, I’m just trying to get her the medicine.” My mother stood there and urged me to hurry up. I didn’t take her serious, because she always acted like this. She kept telling me to hurry up and get the damn dog out of her house and get my stuff and go with it. Then she told me leave or “I’m going to have you removed from my house.” I felt threatened, so I said, “Do it.”

AAer taking too long, she called the police. When they came they told me to pack my bags. I got mad because they were accng tough, so I got tough back. One oďŹƒcer pushed me up against the wall with force and pushed one of my arms behind my back.

I guess the thought was it was going to hurt. I laughed then he let me go. I eventually packed a few bags and lee. My momma wanted to keep my other dog Doug, but I didn’t feel he was safe so I made her give him up.

Once the police lee, it hit me. I was cold, I had a 3 month old pii and a 1 year old Jack Russell and 3 big bags. I made my way to the bus with 3 bags and 2 dogs. I had Lady in my arms wrapped up in a blanket in my duffle bag and Doug in another blanket in my arms. I was glad the bus was empty and Doug didn’t bark. I had 2 big garbage bags and a duffle bag. I got on the bus and sat in the far back.

Then we made it to the Forest Park blue line, so I could head to my cousin’s house out west. I called my cousins and told them to meet me at the Cicero blue line stop to help me with the bags and dogs. When we got back to the house and we flamed up some blunts and started talking. My cousins asked what was I going to name her. I thought about it and said Lady. It fit her perfectly.

I was out of the house for about 6 months.

One of the biggest struggles of my life. I went from living in a house with two people, having several beds and rooms to myself and food for only me and my mom. To living in a house with 11-15 people where I had to sleep on the floor or fight over a couch. I didn’t have a job and nowhere else to go. My cousin’s house was my only oppon.

I made it work as best as I could. I started selling drugs for a source of money.

I was desperate.

I would even walk to the store for a few dollars. It got to the point where I couldn’t take it anymore. All the pain and stress started to get to me.

I started to think is this really what I want to be doing with my life.

So I started to get my life together. I tried geeng jobs, but had no luck. It was hard everyday. I called my mother trying to get back home and all she would say is, “You are not bringing a dog to my house.”

I didn’t know what she meant.

A week went by and I ďŹ nally accepted what she meant. It was the hardest decision I had to make. In order to go back home I had to get rid of my dogs.

So I got up one Wednesday morning and took my 1st dog, Doug, to a shelter South on Western. I walked all the way from the blue line to the shelter and it was snowing outside. It was cold and a long ass walk. It took me 30 minutes to get there. Once I got there, I stood outside for a few minutes and rubbed my dog.

I could tell by the teary look he had in his face he knew something was about to happen.

Then I walked inside. I walked up to the counter. The lady at the counter said,

“How can I help you?�

My heart stopped. I told her I wanted to put him up for adoppon.

She asked, “Are you sure?” I looked at her and said yes. She asked me for my ID and I told her I didn’t have it. So she scanned him for a chip. It came back to me, but I didn’t have my ID or my phone, so I couldn’t prove it. She put him in the system as a lost and found. Then she said she had to give him a shot. So I picked him up and she gave him a shot in the buu.

He cried. Then she put a leash on him and I put him down. Then she took him to the back, he kept pulling towards me. He didn’t want to leave and I didn’t want him to either. Once she took him to the back, I heard him whining.

It was loud, but the sound grew faint as they disappeared down the hall.

I turned around and looked back one last me trying to see him but I couldn’t so I walked out. I felt my heart break as I walked back to the train. It took me 20-30 minutes to get to the train, as I got closer I could hear the train approaching so I had to run to catch the train. While I was on the train all I could think about was did I do that right thing.

It didn’t feel right…

but I knew it was best for the both of us. Once I got back to my cousin’s house, we sat around talking about where Doug went. I went to search the shelter website the next day to see if I seen him and I did.

My heart dropped and I started to shed a tear. Then my cousin passed me the blunt. I started to give up on the idea of me going back home. I was ready to adapt to my new living area. The next day I called my mom to ask to come home and she told me she would think about it.

A week went by and she texted me “Be ready when I get off.”

Over the whole week I thought about how I gave up my Doug, if I would be going back home or if I would have to stay at my cousin’s house. The day that life changing text came.

I packed my bags quicker than I read the text.

I asked my cousin could he keep Lady. He said yeah. I trusted him to take care of her. A few hours later I made sure my cousin was able to keep Lady. He said yeah, so the second my mom pulled up, I flew out the door.

When I got in the car my mom asked me, “Are you sure this is what you want to do?” I looked at her and said, “Yes, I miss having my own bed.” From then on my mom and I have been doing good ever since. We never really talked about it just moved on.

I ssll looked out for Lady, dropped by making sure she had food. Then one day I got a call saying if I don’t come get Lady the police going to get her. I drove over as fast as I could.

When I got there she was running around outside. When I seen her I cried.

She was a 9 month old pii only weighing like 50 lbs.

She was so skinny.

I called all over to try to find her a home. I knew I couldn’t take her home with me.

Just as I was about to give up I called my uncle and he agreed to take her. A few weeks later my uncle called me to come get her because he didn’t want her anymore. I tried to call all over for her another home, but no luck.

I had no choice, but to take her to the police staaon as a stray. When I told the oďŹƒcer that she was a stray, he didn’t believe me because she was so friendly. He took her in and fed her. Then I got in the car and went home I was sad all over again from losing another dog.

It hurt, but it had to happen. From then on I didn’t get a dog for 3 years. Next day I sat up and I thought about how I could have changed the situaaon. That was my

first me ever being put out or in a situaaon like that. When it first happened I was scared and confused.

Everything happened so fast, I just reacted. I never even thought about what was going on. I never felt that type of pain before, it wasn’t physical, but hurt just as bad.

Knowing I hurt my mother the way I did is absolutely the most hurrul thing I ever went through.

Then when I had to give up my dog it almost hurt as bad. He had the most energeec personality I ever seen

When I first went to the shelter to look for a dog, I walked all around. But when I walked past one cage, I seen the cutest dog ever. He was only 5 months at the me. He was balled up in his bed looking at me as I walked past. He looked like a stuffed animal.

As I stood closer to his cage, he got up and came closer to me and aaer he smelled me he started wagging his tail. When the shelter workers walked past, he said, “I have not seen him this happy.” She asked if I wanted to take him in their back room. I agreed and we walked in and she closed the door behind us and I sat on the light brown le bench. Doug ran up to me and started to lick me.

From then I knew he was the one, but my bad decision caused me to lose my best friend.

When I gave him up I told myself I wasn’t going to let my accons cause me to lose someone close to me again. I make sure when situaaons rise, I try to think of the possible outcome of my decisions.

Well, it was the hardest thing I have been through. I lost some, but not all. I ssll had my mom aaer everything and that’s the most important thing.