Role Model

Role Model Naquan T. Richardson

“Until the lion writes his own story, the tale of the hunt will always glorify the hunter.”

-African proverb The ConTextos Authors Circle was developed in collaboration with young people at-risk of, victims of or perpetrators of violence in El Salvador. In 2017, this innovative program expanded into Chicago to create tangible, high quality opportunities that nourish the minds, expand the voices and share the personal truths of individuals who have long been underserved and underestimated. Through the process of drafting, revising, illustrating and publishing memoirs, participants develop self-reflection, critical thinking, camaraderie, and positive self-projection to author new life narratives.

Since January 2017, ConTextos has collaborated with the Cook County Sheriff ’s Office to implement Authors Circle in Division X of Cook County Department of Corrections as part of a vision for reform that recognizes the value of mental health, rehabilitation and reflection. These powerful memoirs complicate the narrative about violence and peace-building, and help author a hopeful future for these young men, their families and our collective communities.

In collaboration with

Role Model Naquan T. Richardson

I swore I’d never be separated from my son.

Growing up, my father was always gone because of the position he had in the military.

My father’s absence robbed me of my bond with him. I never hated him for it, but the feeling of resentment was always there. Having a father figure present during a child’s life is needed and impacts the child’s decision making.

During my childhood my mother was the parent at home. My father was stationed overseas so that forced my mother to stay home and take care of the house. She wasn’t working at the time neither and my father was doing all the providing for the family. My mother’s focus was mainly on maintaining the household.

She was so busy at the house I took advantage of her. She was so focused on maintaining I knew I could get away with doing things that I wasn’t supposed to.

As a freshman starting high school I was a very social teenager. I admit I chose to be around the wrong crowd of people. That crowd didn’t care if they were failing or attending school.

Tagging along with them I realized how easy it was to ditch classes. I remember the ďŹ rst time I left school.

It was a cool spring day. The temperature outside felt wonderful. The feeling of excitement and nervousness overwhelmed me. My friends inuenced me to cut third period to go smoke. Me knowing my mother was busy, I decided it was a good idea.

Down C hallway we walked slowly to the end of the hall. Perspiration ďŹ lled my hands and face with sweat. The hall cleared out after the sound of the third period bell. We ran out the side door and began to head across the street to my cousin house where we could be comfortable.

I got experienced and used to skipping. I immediately started failing.

At the end of the year I came home one day from ditching school and realized my father was home visiting. When I walked into the house I immediately felt something was wrong. I thought I ďŹ nally got caught ditching. The feeling of regret and nervousness overwhelmed me.

I began to walk in the kitchen where I overheard my mother and father arguing. From the tone in their voices, something indeed was wrong. I walked in and immediately began to apologize. My father looked at me confused and concerned. He began to explain that it wasn’t my fault.

I asked, “how wasn’t it my fault?”

My mother answered, “this has been going on for a while and it’s not your fault.”

She said they was getting a divorce!

I felt confused and mad at the same time. I was lost in thought sad and relieved. The decision wasn’t up for discussion. It was ďŹ nal.

My little brother Nicholas, little sister Autumn and I would be moving to New York with our father.

I Iiked that I would be living with my father, but at the same time I felt sad leaving my mother.

Living in New York I had the chance to start over in life and change the crowd of people I chose to be my friends. I started doing well in school because my father would make sure I was attending and help me go over my homework.

At the end of the school year, my father retired from the military and decided to move back to Illinois.

Returning to Illinois I attended Thornridge High again. I didn’t start ditching school but I did interact with the same bad crowds.

As a result of the previous years of high school, my father told me I wouldn’t be graduating with my class, period. He then decided to send me to Lincoln Challenge a military school. I graduated in six months receiving a GED.

After having a child of my own, I made the decision to be actively in his life. I wanna be the man he looks up to, his role model.

As I wake up in this dirty small cell I ďŹ nd myself thinking thoughts in my head, have me considering that I failed as a parent. I wash my face and look in the mirror everyday, and I tell myself I am a loving father and provider.

I turn away to carry on with my day knowing I will return to my family and be the father I was meant to be.

Naquan I am from Dolton, Illinois From Rugrats and Looney Tunes I am from the big yellow house in the middle of Cottage Grove Loud, wild and proud I am from fire That almost took everything I am from Mario Brothers and Uno cards From Nicole and Joel I’m from the reunions and warm holidays From a hard head makes a soft ass and Keep your hands to yourself From the blacker the Barry, the sweeter the juice.