Melvin's journey

“Until the lion writes his own story, the tale of the hunt will always glorify the hunter.”

The Soy Autor writing process was developed in collaboration with young affected by violence in El Salvador. In 2017, this innovative program expanded into Chicago to create tangible, high quality opportunities that nourish the minds, expand the voices and share the personal truths of individuals who have long been underserved and underestimated.Through the process of drafting, revising, illustrating and publishing memoirs, the Authors’ Circle participants develop self-reflection, critical thinking, camaraderie, and positive self-projection to create new life narratives.

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Melvin’s Journey Melvin Coleman

I am traumaazed by the events of my life. I believe it is what deprived me of the ability to thrive like other men my age. As far back as I can remember I have been in circumstances beyond my control. I became a product of my environment. I have learned that no maaer how deeply we may have been hurt or how terribly we have suered, we must forgive.

I am the eldest of eight brothers and sisters. When I was a child about five years old, trouble found its way into my family’s life. I remember being asleep on a sofa couch in an apartment where we just moved. A man broke in while everyone was asleep. At the me it was just my mother, me and two of my brothers living there. The man who broke in grabbed me from off the sofa, held a knife to my throat and demanded money from my mother.

My mother’s concern for my safety led her to comply with the man’s demand. My mother gave him everything she had, which wasn’t very much. SSll it was enough for the man to release me and leave the house.

Soon aaer he lee my mother did call the police which was no help because they never caught the guy. This lee me feeling hurt and in shock. This all took place in 1966.

In 1967, a year later, my father died. I was six years old. AAer my father’s death, my mother decided to move back in with my grandmother. We stayed with her up unnl 1970. That’s when we moved from the west side of Chicago with my grandmother to the Robert Taylor homes on the south side.

Just before we moved from the west side, my mother met a guy that she would end up having a long-term relaaonship with. The guy seemed to be an okay guy, but liile did we know he would become our worst nightmare.

I was thirteen years old when the abuse started. That’s also when my mother realized that her boyfriend was a drug addict. He connnued to live with us aaer he was found out. He also connnued to abuse us.

I’m not sure what it was about me that made my mother’s boyfriend start beaang on me. I became afraid of him and didn’t know what to do about the fact that he would find any reason to beat on me. I felt so helpless, confused and lost to the point that I started having problems at school.

When I was sixteen years old, my mother’s boyfriend connnued to find excuses to aaack me and my family. One day I was with some friends when we decided to cut class and buy some weed and alcohol. Up to that point I never tried alcohol, but when I did try it, it did something to me. It gave me a warm feeling inside. It made me feel different. I became loud and aggressive.

It gave me courage that I didn’t have before. When I went home that day it was obvious that I was high. My mother’s boyfriend confronted me and a few words were exchanged before he hit me with a right hand to the jaw. It would be the last me he would put his hands on me. I stood up to him and it was the end of the abuse. Also it was the end of his relaaonship with my mother.

I ended up dropping out of school to get a job to help support my family.

Lucky for me I did get a job through my aunt working at a Saxon Paint store located on the north side of Chicago. I never got back in school, instead I earned a GED, found a job, and connnued to grow up. I was taken under the wings of a journeyman plumber who taught me the basic skills to be a plumber. I completed the program but was too immature to further pursue it.

At the same me my drinking also increased. I felt that I had the alcohol situaaon under control but I was sorely mistaken. Alcohol had control over me because I started missing days at work. I started having legal trouble, run-ins with the law, ďŹ ghts and blackouts all as a result of alcohol use.

Then on May, 29th 1985 while intoxicated, my friend and I were arrested and it would change my life forever. I was 22 at the wrong place at the wrong me. I was accused of armed robbery and kidnapping and was convicted, serving 10 years at 50%. I did the me, got out, found a job, did a liile schooling and was doing okay.

Two years aaer my release from prison, I was accused of murder and aaempted murder charges and sentenced to 40 years at 50%. I did the me, got out, found a job, did a liile schooling and was again doing okay. Ten months aaer my release in 2013, I was locked up again for 3 counts of assault with a deadly weapon--a case that I refused to cop out on. Instead I took it to trial where I was found not guilty, but not unnl aaer I’d served a year back in prison.

Once I went before the prison review board, they found in favor of me and did not violate me. Instead they released me to a halfway house for six weeks before I was allowed to return home.

Now, I don’t know where I stand with the situaaon I’m in today. God willing I hope to come out from under this situaaon because I don’t feel I have it in me to do another prison bit.

All I ever wanted to be was an independent and produccve member of society which I was for a short period. I had a nice job – working at a Specialles Café & Bakery, as a uulity worker. I had my own place which was a studio apartment in Chicago’s South Shore community.

A nice size bank account at Bank of America, and plenty of friends whom were only around because I had a way of entertaining myself. This aroused their interests to be around me, especially since they knew I had a liile money.

All was going well unnl I met T-Baby. I met her one day while shopping at a family dollar store on 71st in Chicago. I spoke to her about the purchase of an item I was interested in, and lee it at that before leaving the store. A short me later she followed me from the store where we exchanged names and phone numbers.

A few days later I called T-Baby and invited her to my apartment where we had a few drinks that led us to eventually going to bed together.

Liile did I know, T-Baby had a habit.

This young, aaraccve 30 year old woman smoked crack cocaine. At the me it didn’t maaer to me that she smoked crack cocaine, because she had what I wanted. All I cared about was what she had – sex.

We began to see each other quite ooen, spending a lot of me with each other. Within six months of meeeng T-Baby things about my life started changing.

I started to experiment with crack cocaine myself. I started missing days at work. When I was at work I was making mistakes that I wouldn’t have normally made. My dress started to change. My clothing went un-ironed/pressed, and someemes I went days without a shower.

I wasn’t eaang properly. I’d wiped out my bank account from spending money on crack cocaine to smoke with T-Baby whom had become a liability to me instead of a joy that she was when we first met.

I couldn’t even pay my rent because I’d lost my job and soon aaer that, my life spiraled out of control unnl I hit rock booom. I felt helpless, afraid, lost because I lost everything – my home, my money even my freedom, which explains why I’m here at Cook County Jail today.

My life has been extremely complicated to the point of giving up.

I grew up in a dysfuncconal and abusive household with my mother and her then abusive boyfriend. We didn’t have a whole lot of resources but we managed to get by on what liile we had. I felt a lot of fear in my home because my mother’s boyfriend acted like he had it in for us.

I won’t say this is the final stage of my life, but a setback that’s allowing me to rethink my way of life in making an effort to get back out into society and re-establish myself as an independent, responsible and produccve member of society.

I am down, but not out. AAer my life spiraled out of control and I hit rock booom, I thought about giving up. Somehow I found the strength to keep on moving forward. I am now in the process of re-examining my life to see what I should be doing differently.

First of all I am not a bad guy and my character reflects that I am not a bad guy. I’m not perfect, but I’m striving to be the best that I can be.

Since I’m now trying to piece my life back together I tell myself that I will no longer indulge in destruccve behavior like drinking and using drugs and associaang with people that don't want anything in life.

There are a lot of people in the world today who at some point in their lives have been hurt by someone else, or disappointed, betrayed, misled or played. These things hurt and break our spirit by way of staying in our minds and causing us inflamed and festering wounds, especially if they are caused by people close to us.

There is a way to relieve ourselves of these festering wounds that tend to hurt so bad. The only way to ease the pain is to forgive them. I personally feel betrayed, misled, hurt and disappointed because I was raised in a dysfuncconal and abusive household.

I spent so much me fending off the abuse that I believe it affected my ability to mature into a decent and responsible adult. The thought of what they did to me haunted me for a long me and it was difficult to forgive them or let go of what I suffered. But I came to understand that the only way I can heal from the hurt done to me was to forgive them.

No maaer how deeply we may have been hurt or how terribly we have suffered, we must forgive. Seeng others free means seeng yourself free, because resentment from what somebody has done to us is a form of mental aaachment. You are bound to the person by some kind of cosmic link, a mental chain.

You are ed by a cosmic e to the one thing that you hate. The one person who is in our life that we dislike, hate or despise the most is the very one to whom we are aaaching ourselves. Let go of them! Release them from your mind. Forgive them, then forgive yourself. By forgiving them you set yourself free. You save your soul, because the law of love works alike for one and all. You help to save his or her soul too.

Making it so much easier for him or her to become what they ought to be. People have always made such a big deal out of forgiveness because they have been under that erroneous impression that to forgive a person means that you have to force yourself to like him.

We are not obligated to like anyone, but we are under a binding obligaaon to love everyone.

This passage by Walter C. in “Free At Last” reflects my experiences.

“I WAS IRRESPONSIBLE so they sent me to place where I had no responsibiliies. I wasn’t a produccve member of the community, so they isolated me from the community. I wasn’t posiive and construccve, so they put me in a place where we’re degraded and made useless. I wasn’t trustworthy , so they put me where there is no trust. I wasn’t kind, so they placed me where I was subjected to hatred and cruelty. I wasn’t loving, so they put me where there was liile love.

They wanted me to be non-violent, so they placed me where there is violence is all around. They wanted me to quit being a tough guy, so they placed me where the tough guy is respected. They wanted me to be a winner, so they placed me where all the losers are housed under one roof. They wanted me to quit exploiing people, so they put me where people exploit one another.

They wanted me to see myself, and when I looked around I didn’t like what I saw. I wanted to change what I was. Now they’re helping me do that.”

I am from pizza, chicken wings, soul food, and beer I am from a large family of eight With the normal family obstacles and rewards I am from bibles, prayers, and worship of our Heavenly Father For our spiritual upliftment I am from the violet flower of the truest And bluest purplish passionate and blackest beauty In which it shines through I am from Thanksgiving dinners, family get togethers And Christmas cheer and summer madness I am from Rosemary and Melvin Sr. and dancing Having fun and hard work And eating my vegetables and growing strong I’m from the Baptist faith and study of God And my Savior Jesus Christ I’m from the Cook County Hospital I’m from fried chicken, collard greens, macaroni and cheese Pumpkin pie and cheesecake I’m from having a brother who was the first to graduate from college Then join the military And me, myself, attempting to follow in his footsteps.