On The Strengh Of Who?

by Larry Luellen, Jr.

“Until the lion writes his own story, the tale of the hunt will always glorify the hunter.”

The Soy Autor writing process was developed in collaboration with young people at-risk of, victims of or perpetrators of violence in El Salvador. In 2017, this innovative program launched at Cook County Jail with young men awaiting trial for violent offenses. Through the process of drafting, revising, illustrating and publishing memoirs, the Authors’ Circle develops reflection, critical thinking, camaraderie, conflict resolution and positive self-projection.

In collaboration with:

Cook County Sheriff’s Office

On the Strength Of “Who?” Larry Luellen, Jr.

Traumaazed by the death of Maggie, Annie Mae, and Larry Sr. was an addiive to the three personal near death experiences of my own ďŹ ltering PTSD

Entertaining a glimpse of temporary happiness at the birth of my son, March 23, 1995. Breathtaking confusion followed immediately, pushing me to become a man overnight, fending for a child when I was only a child myself.

Desperate to make provisions for him led me to work 16-hour shiis at Goose Island Shrimp House, losing out on my high school educaaon and countless childhood opportuniies, accviies and hoop dreams. But the stern eagerness to keep him from being a Public Aid recipient, as I had been, was my top priority!

The more me lapsed, my love for God went from the trashcan to the city dump then ďŹ nally alongside the deep dal waves of the blue waters of Lake Michigan.

And God, being the producer of the script was narraang my life as a horror story.

By the fall of 1999, another seed ourished, taking on my features, becoming a third; a glimmer of an eye opener, edging me on to generate greatness.

Pouring my abiliies into hard work afforded me favor with the Goose and for years he taught me first hand entrepreneurship. Acknowledging my skills and growth he fired me at the end of my 8th year, clarifying that he wasn’t leeng me go for something I did, but for something he believed I could do!

Dumbfounded by his use of language, I felt crushed, betrayed and hopeless with no idea of who nor where to turn.

Then a sudden Ray of Light shined on me, and in 2002 there was a change for the beeer. My Princess Kayla was added as my daughter, then my business, “Just Like That Inc,” was born, April 4, 2002.

Ecstaac with joy, ego and pride drove me like a vehicle and the ex-welfare adolescent named Boo from Rockwell Garden Projects rested in temporary smiles, grannng me a dierent lifestyle, demeanor, luxury car and topnotch, bougie, holier than thou career type women.

Nothing I sought was unreachable but my core was ssll drowning from the separaaon of my love!

Moved in my spirit I consciously aaended regularly and by the summer of ‘05 I joined, giving my life in bappsm to God, under the leadership of Pastor Marvin E. Wiley at Rock of Ages Bappst Church.

Negaave habits and places started to fall to the wayside and I became a volunteer spokesperson, possng moovaaonal quotes daily on my Facebook page. Guiding family and friends to seek a personal relaaonship with this higher power whom I. recently re-encountered.

For weeks, months and years his advice haunted me. Execuung my biggest goal in business, in November 2012, I finished out the buildout and rehab of the long anncipated 5,000 square foot barber and beauty salon, t-shirt prinnng and snack shop was complete. Twenty minoriies from Garfield and Humboldt Park awaited an opportunity to create an honest living far different from their felony rap sheet, as barbers, beauucians, food preps, cashiers, maintenance personnel and a recepponist. The possibility knocked me on bended knees in the center of the space, crying out to God the best I knew how!

This accomplishment let me overcome so many setbacks and ridicule from the last 21 years. I felt that it was me to reere the migraines, weight flux, anxiety, depression, fear and walls of heartaches before venturing into my new task of responsibility.

Every posiive social media post of mine ashed as lightning before my eyes. My soul wept, moaning and groaning words that were incomprehensive to me.

Pouring a river of tears, I felt something enter the midst of me asking God to teach me His will, laws and decrees!

Uneducated about the power my words held in the Metaphysical realm of spiritual warfare, the baale began and within hours I emailed the church conďŹ rming that I wanted to be a student under Pastor Wiley's guidance to become an ordained minister. The back-and-forth messaging process went on for days.

But two weeks before my 34th birthday and the grand opening date, the enemy aaacked. I was all cleaned out spiritually and mentally with nothing stored in me. I was thrust into a rock and a hard spot, facing the known gang member TY as he aaempt to extort me and to end my life because I wouldn't allow him to hide guns and conduct his drug business inside the store front!

Thus I ended up In Cook County Jail...

Fiiy two months of nonstop studying has launched me 120+ cerrďŹ cates in CCDOC, conforming me into the image and likeness of the love of my life, who has drawn closer to me, raining His strength, knowledge and discernment in me, giving me insight to His kingdom, while grannng me favor abundantly, more than I could have imagined as he properly train me through this perplexed trial.

Learning submission, endurance and perseverance to walk humbly in the fruits of His spirit to mimic his love, joy, peace, paaence, kindness, gentleness, faithfulness, goodness and self-control.

Through constant witnessing and tessfying of God's mercy and grace, that same brother Adrian who once told me to follow my calling to serve God has given his life to God through Jesus, exclaiming it's because of my yearning desire to connnue my tedious walk of faith, sending him scriptures and plannng the gospel message in his heart, he can now rest in God's free gii of eternal life with Jesus in the world of believers!

Chuckled and amused to my funny bone how my love used Adrian to encourage me with his statement, navigaang me in His direccon as I now reect on His omnipotent sovereignty!

Using a then non-believing vessel of clay to pilot me in my purpose and walk of life, to serve, follow and love my savior and Lord Jesus while sowing seeds of the gospel to win sinners back to Him!

2 Corinthians 12:9 For my grace is suďŹƒcient for you; for my strength is made perfect in your weakness.

I am from the slums of Rockwell Garden Projects.

From government cheese and powdered milk.

I am from the land of pimps, hoes and drug dealers.,

floor model TVs, 8 trak radios and Yo’ MTV raps.

I am from switches, extension cords and paddle sticks,

where parents, neighbors, teachers and in-laws beat that ass!

I’m from the soul train era and hide-go-seek,

from Annie Mae and Ramsey.

I’m from the weekend of deuces wild and Tunc,

from “you only deserve what you’re willing to strive for” and

and “satan and the world both want to rip you to pieces.”

I’m from a Christian (Baptist) upbringing with 12-hour-long Sunday services.

I’m from a mixture of St. Louis, Missouri and Beloxi, Mississippi,

salmon croquettes, white rice and biscuits with syrup.

From the weaving of Maggie’s DNA, she was pronounced an angel of God. The quietness of Adrian spoke of his wisdom

and the eyes of Larry cried for a brighter future for his offspring!

The Luellen’s togetherness is fundamental beyond humanity’s capability

and this memoir is a piece of our story.