My Queen by Francisco Ojeda

My Queen

Francisco Ojeda

Until the lion learns to write their own story, tales of the hunt will always glorify the hunter - African Proverb The ConTextos Authors Circle was developed in collaboration with young people at-risk of, victims of, or perpetrators of violence in El Salvador. In 2017 this innovative program expanded into Chicago to create tangible, high quality opportunities that nourish the minds,,expand the voices and share the personal truths of individuals who have long been underserved and underestimated. Through the process of drafting, revising and publishing memoirs, participants develop self-reflection, critical thinking, camaraderie and positive selfprojection to author new life narratives.

Since January 2017 ConTextos has partnered with Cook County Sheriff's Office to implement Authors Circle in Cook County Department of Corrections as part of a vision for reform that recognizes the value of mental health, rehabilitation and reflection. These powerful memoirs complicate the narratives of violence and peace building, and help author a hopeful future for human beings behind walls, their families and our collective communities.

While each author’s text is solely the work of the Author, the image used to create this book’s illustrations have been sourced by various print publications. Authors curate these images and then, using only their hands, manipulate the images through tearing, folding, layering and careful positioning. By applying these collage techniques, Authors transform their written memoirs into illustrated books.

In Collaboration With:

My Queen Francisco Ojeda

I was born on Oct 7, 1991 in Puerto Rico. When I was like 6 months old my O.G. (mom) brought us to the states. My siste rs and brother and I grew up in Humboldt Park on Kedzie and North Ave .

I went to a school called Jose De Diego like up to 5th grade, then she got locked up for murder. She was a Latin Queen so the Kings sent all of us back to Puerto Rico because D.C.F.S. was going to take us, and we were going to fall to the system.

So I started growing up in P.R. I went to school over there like up to 9th grade and then left school. Well they really kicked me out of school for being a bad student. I decided to take to the streets. I really didn’t want to finish school because I was poor and my father had to take care of us so it was hard for him. So I say "fuck it," I am going to do this on my own. And because I blamed my mother for leaving me and my sister when we needed her the most.

So over there I start smoking weed, doing alcohol, having sex, going to party. I started selling drugs in a trap house that me and my cousin built. I bought my first gun, my first car, a stick shift, and my first scooter.

Then one night I told my dad to take me to pay my phone bill. He said you have to wait and I got mad because he was always lying. So the next morning I went on my motor scooter but I had no license or I.D. So the police stopped me and took me to the police station. I was like 13 years old. So my father in law Andy came to pick me up and told the police that I wasn’t going to school and that I was in the street doing all types of stuff.

So they took me to court and I got locked up. After being in jail for 8 months they let me go to a halfway house but with the condition of going to work in the morning and studying at night school. So I say okay.

My brother in law got me a job with him delivering Subway products to all P.R. I was going to school at night and still selling drugs. So one night I woke up to go to work like at 3 in the morning. A car hit my scooter, they was trying to kill me, but I got away.

So I broke the probation and I sold everything that I had and left back to Chicago, to the south side with my cousin Kus and my Homie Smiley. Cuz lives on 51st and Wood. So I started gangbanging with them. They started calling me P.R. because I was the only Puerto Rican on the block and everyone else was Mexican. So I never did find out what happened to my O.G. I was so busy chasing the street life.

I remember we bought a striker like for 400 dollars. That same night we went to look out for some opps to ram the fuck out of them. I remember when my big homie Smiley gave me and Pewee our first bags for sale.

He told us to get posted on the corner behind the park on 50th and Wood, and gave us a pipe. We used to hide it in a potato chip bag and put it like 4 trees down close to the alley from us. I used to love this shit, but one day I just got tired of the same shit. My cousin said you have to leave because you bring too much heat to the house and I got my kids and wife here. So I left.

I was staying in the trap or in my car. Sometimes it was hard to find where to stay because I didn’t know nobody else around, only the guys. And the guys always give you drugs, alcohol and some money, but sometimes they don’t got nothing but drugs. So things started going really bad for me in the hood. I was like 16 years old so I decided to go back to Puerto Rico. I said I take my chances over there. I was on the run in Puerto Rico for like 2 years.

So anytime the police saw me I was going to prison. So I said I am going back to sell drugs. I did that for another 1 ½ years. When I was serving one time the police popped up from nowhere and indicted me. So they booked me and gave me 18 months. By then I was 19 and got out. So I went back to the hood one day.

I was sitting at the corner with the guys and my step sister called me and told me that my mother was looking for me to call her. So I was surprised and happy. I haven’t talked to my mother in 12 years so I called her and she told me that she was out already for a minute and she was living in Connecticut. So I told her that I wasn’t going back to Chicago, but Connecticut? I would give it a try.

So I left. I stayed 2 days then she said we got to go back to Chicago because over here it’s not working. So she tricked me, so I had no choice. I said okay let’s go. Over here we were living on Howard and Jonquil in a studio from section 8 that they gave her.

But I was arguing too much with my stepfather Robert because he was doing heroin and he was really using my mother.

So I was telling her but she didn’t listen. So I say fuck this and start planning to leave.

I went and got a job in a chocolate factory through a temp agency. I started working and saving some bread. One day the argument got so bad that dude threw me out. I had to sleep on some boxes in the back alley and it hurt my heart because my own mother took his side instead of mine. So the next day I went and got me a room with one of my homies by Belmont and Troy.

So everything was going smooth. One day my O.G. popped up from nowhere and asked me if she could stay with me because she was tired of dude. I said okay. But where I was was only for one person, so we moved back to 51st. We were living there like for 3 years. I was still working at the chocolate company. I remember my first year that I filed my taxes. They gave me 5 grand. I went home and told my mother how long it’s been that you don’t go to Puerto Rico? She said it’s been like 24 years.

Then I said okay, pack your stuff we are going today. I will never forget that happy moment in her life. She gave me kisses, hugs, started dancing in circles. Man I miss her so much. So we went like for 2 weeks. After that another year past and she got tired of being in the house always because I was at the after hours doing coke, partying. So one day I got out of work and went to the crib. She left a note saying that she left to Connecticut with my uncle, that she was tired of being in the hood. So after that I couldn’t pay the rent, car, utilities so I had to move.

So I said fuck it I am going to live in my car and only stay in the northwest of the city. I got the job that way, friends, the bars, my girlfriend, everybody was over there. So I said fuck the southside and left. But before I moved, my brother (younger one), was staying with. One day I came back from a long weekend of partying. He stole everything in my apartment, let my dog loose. So I wanted to kill his ass. I looked for him and couldn’t find him.

Then I find out he was in Puerto Rico. Now he is locked up over there. I ain’t see my brother, it’s been like 8 years. Now he got like 5 months to get out this year 2022 and he is going to live with my uncle in Wisconsin. After my mom passed away he is going to get another chance of family to help him. So I thank God for that.

So I went to live in my car on the northwest by Armitage and Western or Fullerton. I got my 2nd job working in a bar. I quit my first one and kept the 2nd one because I could drink, party, do coke and smoke weed. Staying in my car living there like for a year. I got so deep in this shit that one night I fell asleep in my car on Fullerton Ave. At 7 in the morning a police officer woke me up and asked me if I was okay. I said, "yeah ,long night." He left.

I got lucky and realized that I had to do something with my life so I got me a job with some Arabs in an autoshop working as a mechanic or a painter for cars. I told him my situation and he said, "P.R, I got a crib in Blue Island 127th and Prairie." It is a two bedroom apartment, so I said okay. I took it for me and my girl. So that night I went to the bar and the bartender told me hey your mother called and she said she’s back in Chicago. She’s at the police station on Harrison by the 290. I said fuck what a coincidence of life after she left me, after all I being through. Now that I am going to put my life together she comes.

So I had to decide, my girl or help my mother. So I picked my mother. I took her with me to Blue Island to live with me. We were doing okay going to the park (Humboldt) on Sundays. I was doing pretty well, then one night I went to one of the guys' cribs to watch the world series of the Cubs.

I got booked, lost my car and got an aggravated battery to police officer’s charge.

Went to the county, went home on house arrest the same day. Then after 13 months I beat the case. Now I am still working on the garage. painting cars. After 23 days out of house arrest I catch a body so they got me for 1st degree murder.

Now I am here writing this book for my family so they can understand some of my life. I been in the county jail for 4 ½ years fighting for my life. My mother passed away while I was in here. The guys forgot about me after all I did out there for them, for the block. Now I only have my sister supporting me and my uncle and my aunties.

So there is only family helping me here. So I would like to thank them through this book and to tell them that I am a survivor and a fighter and to tell them I am sorry for everything.

I'm hoping for a second chance in life so I can come home to them and be a better person. I will always love them with all my heart. To them this book, for you my uncle, my sister, my 2 aunties and my brother.

out me. erything and don’t forget ab ev r fo all y’ s es Bl d Go ay M

Dear Mom, I miss you a lot I wish you where here I am sorry I miss the last 4 ½ of your life before you die (on the 2/25/22) I feel angry on the inside and empty because the mistakes that I made I know got me in here and because of that i couldn’t be with you, so that’s why I am going to try and write this book (memoir) for you my love.I want to say thank you for all the things and stuff you gave me and thank you for being my mother and being there for me I know you left out of my life for 15 years because you went to prison but first I judge you but now I understand because I am on the same situation right now so I thank GOD for your support the 4 years I been here you help me mama, with money, advices, letters, pictures, books and in general thank for my life mother.So I will like to thanks my sister two because she is my other support in here and I know she got a lot of responsibility out there and kids, husband, she still takes time for my self, for visit, phone calls, letters well for everything I love you always with my heart and life.

Mom, since you asked, I’ll tell you why I’m so angry….

Because, we didn’t grow up as a family Because, you went to prison Because, you left us when we was little Because, you passed away while I am in here Because, I couldn’t help you Because, I still miss you a lot Because, everyday I think of you Because, I will like to call you but I can’t Because, I wish my life would be different Because, I want to go home Because, the stupid decision I made when I am so angry Because, I suffer all my child life Because, I had to leave school early Because, my financial situation Because, the choices that I made there was nor really good Because, my sister never answer that phone call Because, I thought you was going to be there for me when I got out but no Because, you die on me and I couldn’t hug you one last time Because, I will always love you with all my heart Because, you help when I was in my toughest moment of my life

Francisco Ojeda I Am From I am from the south, the struggle.

From the trenches and the ghetto.

I am from my momma's house 51st and wood.

I am from Puerto Rico, mountains and rivers.

I’m from Nilda and Tito.

From Sunday playing in Humboldt park, And from tough love and christian spirits.

I’m from show me your work and find you future, And from respect others like you respect yourself.

I’m from Jesus Christ as my savior.

I’m from Puerto Rico.

From rice, beans, pork chops, and plantains.

From El Viejo and San Juan I am from the struggle, a survivor in life.

Until the lion learns to write their own story, tales of the hunt will always glorify the hunter - African Proverb Copyright

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