The Worst P.D. in the U.S.A. by Lalo

Until the lion learns to write their own story, tales of the hunt will always glorify the hunter - African Proverb The ConTextos Authors Circle was developed in collaboration with young people at-risk of, victims of, or perpetrators of violence in El Salvador. In 2017 this innovative program expanded into Chicago to create tangible, high quality opportunities that nourish the minds,,expand the voices and share the personal truths of individuals who have long been underserved and underestimated. Through the process of drafting, revising and publishing memoirs, participants develop self-reflection, critical thinking, camaraderie and positive selfprojection to author new life narratives.

Since January 2017 ConTextos has partnered with Cook County Sheriff's Office to implement Authors Circle in Cook County Department of Corrections as part of a vision for reform that recognizes the value of mental health, rehabilitation and reflection. These powerful memoirs complicate the narratives of violence and peace building, and help author a hopeful future for human beings behind walls, their families and our collective communities.

While each author’s text is solely the work of the Author, the image used to create this book’s illustrations have been sourced by various print publications. Authors curate these images and then, using only their hands, manipulate the images through tearing, folding, layering and careful positioning. By applying these collage techniques, Authors transform their written memoirs into illustrated books.

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The Worst P.D. in the U.S.A. Lalo

No one ever asked me if I did it. If they listened I would have told them no. Let's start from the beginning. His first words were, “So what are you trying to do?" His first name was Bob, he didn't look much like a lawyer. In fact he looked like he could care less what happened to me. This is the guy who was supposed to be protecting my freedom. At the time I was 19, still in the streets, with a girlfriend of 8 years and a rocky relationship at home with both my parents. On top of everything I was fighting an attempt murder charge.

I asked Bob "what do they say they have on me?” The look on his face spoke volumes.

To me the look on his face was hopeless. A look that said "just give up now." "He then proceeded to tell me exactly what they had. It was a lot, overwhelming actually, I felt hopeless myself. The man sitting in front of me looked like he gave up before it even started. I asked for a continuance while I tried to gather up money for a private attorney because the man in front of me was not someone I was willing to put my faith in to defend my freedom.

When I went to the deck I asked a couple people who I always noticed doing law work about my case, they gave me some good feedback and told me that I actually had a good case. It made me feel better especially after being around Bob's negative mindset, it was refreshing.

It was a couple weeks till my next court date, about 6 or so. In the meantime I was going through my own personal struggles besides court. I felt a distance between me and my girlfriend growing but I didn't think too much of it.

Weeks went by and finally my court date came. I was confused as to why I was going to court at the precinct I was originally booked at rather than Skokie where I would normally go. I was confused and nervous as to why I was there. It didn't help that my PD Bob wasn't there, they said he was running late. So late I actually missed the first bus back to the county. I was the last one there. At this point my mind was racing at 100 mph. I asked to speak to someone, they sent another PD, one who knew my PD and was somewhat familiar with my case.

She walked in and I asked what's going on. She said she wasn't entirely sure, but when she asked the judge he said I was getting indicted by a Grand Jury. Now mind you I was young and ignorant to some legal terms. The only thing that stood out to me was the word " indictment.” I've only ever heard it in TV shows or movies and It was always a bad thing. "What does that mean?” I asked. She then began explaining that there was a possibility that the charges could be increased. At this point I was beyond nervous and still had not spoken to Bob.

Finally my name was called and there was Bob standing nonchalantly as if he didn't have us waiting for hours. Court began, and Bob introduced himself as my defense counsel. It all happened so quickly I didn't really catch what was going on. What I did catch was the phrase "aggravated discharge. I automatically assumed they added another charge. I was in the bullpen for a good 10 mins with just my thoughts and myself. I was thinking the worst.

Finally I got to speak with Bob. He had that same blank stare as always. My heart dropped to my stomach. I was prepared to hear the worst. He spoke in the lifeless tone he always spoke in. He began to tell me that the charge was being lessened from attempt murder to aggravated discharge since no one was hit. A wave of relief hit me.

It felt as if a huge weight was taken off my shoulders.

To me this was amazing news, but yet Bob stood there with his lifeless stare. I asked what our next step was. He told me he could try and ask for 14 years at 85%, mind you the max was 15. This man just wanted me to cop out the next court date. I told him to just ask for a bond reduction. "I know this judge, we shouldn't waste our time he's going to deny it anyways." I replied "let's go for it anyway, the worst he could say is no." He reluctantly agreed, but this wouldn't happen for some weeks.

On the way back it was just me and another man in plain clothes.We began to speak to each other. He asked about my case and I about his. The cases were very similar.

He told me his case was actually looking pretty good other than the fact he violated his bond. I asked for his lawyer's name and number. His name was Steven Goldman.

When I got back I relayed the news to everyone. When I told my mom she was happy and told me she would do anything she could to help me out. I was excited to tell my girlfriend at the time. The good news was needed because I still felt that gap between us growing.

Fast forward some weeks to my court date. Bob was running late yet again. My name was called. When I looked up, the judge looked annoyed. He then asked me where Bob was at. I was baffled by the question. How was I supposed to Know? I've been in custody and it wasn't exactly easy to contact Bob, he never picks up. I got sent back to wait, yet again I was the last one in the bullpen.

I'm finally called in again, the same introductions as always: "defense Counsel for Mr. Olmos." He began to speak, and it sounded as if he was annoyed, that this was all just a big inconvenience for him. His only argument on why I should get a bond was the fact my charges were lessened so my bond should correspond as well. Almost immediately the judge agreed and granted me the bond. The bond went from $50K to $5k. It was still a lot of money but definitely doable.

Next court date was set one month away. It came a lot quicker than expected. By then we were only a couple grand short. When I saw Bob he asked what I wanted to do. I told him my plan of wanting to bond out and hire a private attorney with the bond slip.

For the first time Bob's face had changed. It went from cold and lifeless to surprised. He even looked a little insulted. I asked for a simple continuance. We walked into the courtroom yet again Bob introduced himself as my defense counsel which I always found funny because it never really felt like he was defending anything.

He began to speak the same as always. The discovery was still outstanding. He then began to speak again and asked for a motion. I didn't catch the name of it. It caught me off guard because we never discussed a motion. It was granted. Then he asked for the continuance.

When court was over I actually got to speak with Bob. I asked about the motion because I did not understand what had happened because Bob spoke quickly with alot of legal terms I didn't understand. I had an Idea of what I heard but was not 100% sure

He told me it wasn't anything significant but the motion was basically to make sure he got paid. I was shocked and quite angry as well because I never agreed to that. I told him I thought P.D.'s were free. He said they are but the motion was to let the judge know of my plan on hiring a private attorney to make sure he got compensated for the work he's done so far. What work? I wondered. This man had done absolutely nothing to help my case along yet he felt he deserved compensation.

I asked if he could do that without my permission. He explained that when he was putting in the motion the judge asked me if I understood what was going on and I said yes, even though I didn't, and that's what I had agreed to.

Now that wasn’t the first time the judge had asked me if I understood what was going on and I wasn’t entirely sure if I did. But the last time it was something that would benefit me, not my P.D. who was obviously only worried about his own well being. I was pissed and didn’t want to speak to him anymore.

He asked when I thought I was going to bond out. I told him in a week or so. He gave me a # one different from the other one I had already. Obviously this was a more direct line to contact him. He said if I could call when I bonded out so he could know and take me off his schedule for the next court date. This was towards the middle of September.

My next court was around mid October. My birthday was around the corner. Oct 4th. I was not looking forward to spending my 1st ever birthday behind bars. I was actually a bit sad & depressed. Things had taken a turn for the worst in me and my girlfriend's relationship.

She said it was too much for her to handle and she wasn’t entirely sure if I deserved her loyalty because I was not exactly Mr. Faithful throughout our entire relationship. I felt like it was Karma forreal.

The only thing that made me feel better was knowing the fact that I would be bonding out in the next couple days. My birthday came and I didn’t do much as I was still in custody. When I called my family I got my only birthday present I actually wanted, my mom told me they came up with the rest of the money. I was overjoyed.

The only downside was when they came the county told them it was too late to make any payments and to come back tomorrow in the morning. The next day around 7 PM I remember the tier officer yelling my name & telling me to “pack it up.” Finally I was on my way home. When I saw my family outside waiting, I was never more happy to see them. When I got out I tried to work things out with my ex but it was a lost cause.

After I bonded out, I got right to work. I began to research lawyers. This was one of the hardest decisions I ever had to make. Every lawyer I called I felt was just telling me what I wanted to hear. Then some wouldn't even hear me out unless I gave them $1500 just to look over my case. I asked on line, I got a lot of recommendations from friends, but still in the end I was unsure. I felt more confused than when I started.

I didn’t really know what makes up a “Good” lawyer, or a trusted one. That was the biggest thing for me, to be able to trust that this person would do their best to defend my freedom and have my best interest in mind. I began to simply google lawyers.

There was just way too much information in the google reviews to come up with any concrete decision and there was no website specifically made to review lawyers or their track records. I had to take a break. It was too much.

I don’t know what it was but something made me start going through my property that I brought back from the county, legal work, pictures, people’s info etc. When going through it I came across a number that I had completely forgotten about. It was Steven Goldman’s number. I instantly looked him up, and the first thing I saw come up were news clips of him being interviewed after beating some high profile cases.

It was looking good, then I looked at the reviews and there was barely anything bad being said which was a lot better than most of the other lawyers. I decided to give him a call and see what he had to say. When I called I began to explain my situation. I remember giving him some details about my case and him cutting me off telling me I shouldn’t be telling him that because he wasn’t my lawyer yet. After everything was said I asked if he felt like he could beat my case or get me some better deal. He then told me at this stage it was too early to tell that he would actually have to see the discovery & see what they have.

Now that part right there rang a bell in my head as to where the other lawyers basically told me what I wanted to hear. This guy was brutally honest. I made my decision, this was the guy I was going to trust. At my next court date I showed up and there was Steve on time, actually he was a little early because I showed up early as well.

Now every court date after that for about the next year or so was the same thing, "Discovery still outstanding." It was continuance after continuance. It felt like the case was going nowhere. I would continuously go see Steve every month for any updates, but yet there wasn't. Finally the discovery was closed almost a year & a half later.

At this point I asked Steve yet again how he felt about the case, he said what I’ve been hearing since day 1 from everyone except my PD Bob: “this is a really good case.” He began telling me that he’s been going over and over and studying my case, and he explained that nearly all the evidence was circumstantial, that there was really no solid proof, it was all just hear-say. Even the witnesses were not sure it was me.

It was great news to me but I couldn't help but to think if all this was true why would Bob pressure me since day one to take a plea deal. Did he even study the case at all?

Sure didn't even seem like it. The difference was night and day. Why should anyone have to go through so much and pay so much just to get a fair shot at justice? Innocent until proven guilty? When in reality it was more like guilty until proven innocent.

At this time Steve said we would be filing different motions to get a lot of the evidence thrown out, but in order to do that the witnesses and some of the responding officers & detectives would be called in to testify. Things never really worked out between me and my ex. I finally started to move on with someone else. Her name was Thalia. From day one I had treated her right. I had learned my lesson with my ex. Thalia was there for the remainder of my trial.

For the next half a year it was excuse after excuse on why the officers couldn’t show up.

Sick, vacation, not in town, too busy that day. It was the same for the witnesses as well. I was thankfully to be granted a bond because I couldn't help thinking now how frustrating and horrible it would have felt like to be going through this while in custody.

During these pointless court dates my mom and dad would either take me to court or meet me there. I told them they didn't have to, but they insisted. They wanted to know what was going on and wanted to be there for moral support. I felt our relationship getting stronger.

It felt like every time we went in front of the judge there was always a new outrage.

Excuses as to why the detectives or witnesses were not present. The worst part was it was always acceptable for them but when I was an hour late with notice because of a flat tire and warned me if it happened again he would issue a warrant for my arrest.

At this point my frustrations and anxiousness started to get to me. It was almost 2 and a half years later and it felt like I was at where I started. I thought to myself if I was still in custody I would have had a lot of time and probably would have started my bid already. I was so frustrated I asked Steve if he could just get me a sweet cop out. The look on Steve's face was so disappointing. He looked me in my eyes and said, "Why are we discussing you doing any type of time. We are focused on you beating this case for good.” His words brought me back to reality. I was focused and hopeful.

Finally the day came, The day the lead detectives were to testify. But first I would be questioned by the state. Thalia and both my parents were present. Steve warned me what type of questions would be asked so I could be ready and not caught off guard.

The questions were worded in a way as to intentionally try to trick me into incriminating myself rather than to find out what really happened.

When it was my lawyers turn to question the detectives they began to read off the evidence they had against me. There was a video that showed my car and the victims at the same gas station at the same time 3 minutes before the alleged shooting. Then there was the “matching” description of the vehicle.

Finally the strongest “evidence” they had was the victims saying it was me and that I fit the profile of the shooter. One by one, Steve began to break down every single one of these pieces of “evidence.” It was like a movie scene unfolding in front of my own eyes. I was experiencing first hand the injustice in this justice system. He began with the description of the vehicle.

I was up first for questioning. It was nerve wracking. I looked at where my family and Thalia were. I guess she could see how nervous I was and she mouthed the words "relax" to me. It helped calm me down. I was glad to have her and my parents there for me. I felt I had done good at answering the questions.

When it was finally Steve's turn to question the State, their house of lies began to crumble. Everything that they thought seemed like solid proof began to get thrown out one by one so easily. Like Steve had said almost all the evidence was circumstantial.

What seemed like such a scary strong case at first now looked weak and unconvincing.

It made me think of how Bob made it seem otherwise. It seemed as if Bob was working for the State from the beginning. How was he so ready to tell me to take 14 years at 85% with such weak evidence? It's like he didn't even try. I know he didn't.

He was just worried about a paycheck.

Finally the judge granted us the motion to suppress evidence. How was it that just a couple years ago I was being tried for attempt murder with such weak evidence and now it was being thrown out like nothing. So easily in one court date, but it was a long painful road for just this one date.

The state asked for a continuance yet again. Steve immediately demanded a speedy trial. When I asked Steve what was next he said, "nothing we won already.'' It caught me off guard, I was ecstatic. "If we won, why are we coming back then?" He explained that the state basically didn't have enough evidence to convict me now so they were trying to see if they could pull out anything out of their bag of tricks.

Steve basically said they didn't want to admit they were wrong and were trying to give me a hard time about it. As if they hadn’t already done so. I wasted 6 months in custody and almost $20,000 to defend myself of being accused of a crime I didn't commit. This was my life on the line and all because they didn't want to admit they were wrong. This is our unjust justice system.

This whole thing could have been avoided if at some point they just asked me "Did you do it?" When the next court date came the State just said that they were dropping all charges. In the end of this whole experience I did get some positives from all of this. Me and my parents' relationship has never been stronger. I appreciate them like never before, and I learned how to love and treat a woman as she should be treated. I first handedly experienced the corruption in the justice system. Now here I am 6 years later with Thalia and my parents by my side yet again, Fighting for my life…

Lalo I Am From I am from Belmont Cragin, North Side.

From cops and robbers and Icee’s with 25 cent chips.

I'm from Buenos Aires corner store or the “Barry Store” From $5 little Caesars pizza to feed us all.

I am from growing up fast and rough.

I am from the trenches where the backdoor is always open.

From where friends turn to foe’s I’m from Herminia and Rigoberto From raised right but did wrong anyways.

I’m from Sunday morning cleaning with Cumbia on blast From sneaking out as soon as I hear the music.

I’m from mom's tough love.

From dad's gentle soul.

I'm from 4 bikes with pegs and all 7 of us on them.

I'm from Chicago's Northwest Side.

Until the lion learns to write their own story, tales of the hunt will always glorify the hunter - African Proverb Copyright

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