Where I Come From by G. McGee

m o r F e m o C I e r e Wh

G. McGee

The ConTextos Authors Circle was developed in collaboration with young people at-risk of, victims of, or perpetrators of violence in El Salvador. In 2017 this innovative program expanded into Chicago to create tangible, high quality opportunities that nourish the minds,,expand the voices and share the personal truths of individuals who have long been underserved and underestimated. Through the process of drafting, revising and publishing memoirs, participants develop self-reflection, critical thinking, camaraderie and positive selfprojection to author new life narratives.

Since January 2017 ConTextos has partnered with Cook County Sheriff's Office to implement Authors Circle in Cook County Department of Corrections as part of a vision for reform that recognizes the value of mental health, rehabilitation and reflection. These powerful memoirs complicate the narratives of violence and peace building, and help author a hopeful future for human beings behind walls, their families and our collective communities.

While each author’s text is solely the work of the Author, the image used to create this book’s illustrations have been sourced by various print publications. Authors curate these images and then, using only their hands, manipulate the images through tearing, folding, layering and careful positioning. By applying these collage techniques, Authors transform their written memoirs into illustrated books.

This project is being supported, in whole or in part, by federal award number ALN 21.027 awarded to Cook County by the U.S. Department of the Treasury.

Where I Come From G. McGee

First I would like to say that I come from a lovely family. I’m from the Westside of Chicago born and raised. From the Village, Racine and Roosevelt, the High Rise, 16 stories, #109 apartment. The household was 4 + 1, grandmother, uncle, grandpa, mother & father. A shit load of family.

At the age of 11 I was taken by the system. It was a Christmas I will never forget.

at und because she was working aro t no s wa r the mo my d an It was Christmas Eve outfit that surprised me up with an early Christmas ke wo r the mo nd gra My . ars Se So I got dressed Mutant Ninja Turtle and Jordans. ge na Tee h wit me of t ou t shi the he said nothing. papa where was my Dad. But my ed ask d an irs sta wn do nt and we r’s ass. Usually e arguing with my grandmothe fac y mp bu the off nk dru too He was ristmas Eve was time for me to go to the Ch it use ca be d sse dre t ge to she told me I still haven’t seen my dad yet. party with my caseworker but

So I bump into my Uncle and he told me my Dad went to the MS, a corner store. So I went outside and it was nice as fuck. I bumped into 1 of the Big Homies and he asked me where my pop was. I really wasn’t paying attention to him because it was a pitching game going on. I had my last 15. I need several more dollars to get NBA Live.

My grandmother came and told me it was time to go with Julian and I was mad as hell.

But anyway, it was cool because I ended up getting NBA Live and some money. So it’s going on like 11:00 and everyone was coming together to give each other their grab bag gift. By the time 12:00 came my mother was coming in the crib with a lot of gifts.

Now t h e fa m il y is l i g u e ss s t e n in w ho p g to e o p up v ery o n Dad w o ut o f e call a s th e n o th e n a w he re l if e o f me o f w th e p a it h b r u t h e ir g r ty . is es e v ift. So er y w h it ’ s m y er e m y turn a p op s l nd o o k in g l ik e M artin.

So my grandmother was mad as hell when she saw how my Dad looked. When I saw my Dad I remember one of the niggas asked me where he was. But I didn’t pay attention, but he was cool. Now acting like it was nothing wrong with him. So he begging my mother for a square.

She steady telling him no. Now he gets upset and starts to argue with my Uncle who tells him to get the fuck out his face with the bullshit. Now he really turnup. He get angry with everyone.

It’s going on like 4:00 and everyone getting ready to leave. My mom tells me to put my gifts up and get ready for bed. My dad comes in the room with me and asks for $5.00. I give it to him but my mom did not like that shit at all. So she started to call him all kinds of names.

My dad gets mad and snatches my toy gun from me and hits my mom on the arm with it and breaks it and it ricocheted and hits me in the forehead. Now I have a big cut on my forehead. I need to go to the hospital to get stitches.

Now my caseworker finds out what’s going on. Now she questioning my grandmother who really don’t know what happened. She in the dark and I’m not going to tell them what happened at all. Now the caseworker tells my grandmother that I might be getting placed somewhere else, so she crying and stuff.

She calls my Uncle and tells him what’s going on and he says that he would get me for the time being. I was upset at first, but I’m like what the hell I’m still with my family and I was familiar with my Uncle. I was like fuck the rules, y’all not trying to help me.

I need to be helped, and he’s like I need to set up a conference meeting. I’m like a conference meeting? What the fuck is that? He tells me to call all the staff together and see what the deal is to see if I need to see Special education services. I’m like hell yeah opps. I mean thank you. He says I tell you, Greg, you better not get in any more trouble. I’m like okay.

So I started my first day at school and it was not right because we had class in the library where the other kids can see you. It was like 12 kids in the class with me and it was odd as shit. I met my ace Jason Steadman. He was like be cool. It’s not that bad and I like it.

How the hell it’s not that bad. I’m like cool and he told me after school to come to the gym. It was dudes I was punching on. I’m like hell this a set up. He’s like no. It’s basketball tryouts. I got mad as hell when I saw them. I remember I was on lockdown. I had to go.

I told my Uncle that the people retarded, but he told me I was not to get in no trouble. He would cut me a deal and let me off punishment.

I was thinking real hard at first then it dawned on me that Jason knows the kids. I saw Jason in the hallway and he’s like what’s up. Why did you leave basketball tryouts? They told me you can hoop. I’m like who you told me that I can hoop Jake. Peter? I’m like you fuck with them. He’s like yeah, that’s my people. I’m like cool.

He takes me to his house ev ery weekend and he lives in the suburbs, Westmont, IL wit wife and three kids. Church h his going every week. Most of the tim e wa s hard for me to adapt to the burbs because the pe ople was too damn proper and I was straight slang.

d to lly different compare ta to as w it re he w gh . ol out there, Junior Hi d shit got me heated an lk ta I ay w I started to go to scho e th r fo n of ed to getting made fu t used to my school. I wasn’t us ling and shit. I was no se un co d, de en sp su t it wasn’t much trouble: getting mistreated, bu I used to get into so t no as w I n. w do ck ctured, put on lo detention, getting le equal.

es lo t h f c o nd fun br a e g m in ll t n a p m a k u ld t e a t e g o e ’t th d o n he y k e e r. I w m om I d s l o w l d m y o u n ee N o w d id t . k l k y ta hy ee to sa y a w c le w n d sa y . S o I d 0 n a a ch Un 5 .0 me n$ m y u t o f it y s p e e t a a d h h o m ke et la u g m o r o t . I a s a j o k e l p w it h o t g l d e e t in a r te get t m e a ys m a k eed h t s s a n e e r I w a t u p s l d a l w a ig u r e I a n d s h e b f h u dt oI wo a ss m em I r e o r e a n k ? H e w e r. S e c h c l l o m pe a ny a y I t a ing s l in s k e w l t he a m t a p ut m I to him e e d s . n n s he w d o w lo to s

So I had to do something about my speech because I was tired of getting in trouble for punching on the other kids and getting suspended. Lockdown was painful. You couldn’t do anything and that shit was miserable. Now my Uncle’s like you getting out of control.

So I keep telling him it’s not my fault and he gave me an option: Beat down or lockdown.

So I’m like I need to go back where I came from and he’s like look Greg, you need to follow the rules.

T ha t y ou k no w them so yo u probably c that making an tell them fun of the wa to chill out w y I ta ith all lk. Like don’t What? He like tr ip . You smoke. weed. Hell ye I a lik h e .

He like after sc smoke. session. Who hool we going going to have to a h se a ve a ssion? He like d ud e , I b e e n why so nervou through so m s.

I’ m u ch. You reall like look be cool, calm y can’t trust , and collecte a n y o n e d . So he’s like . I’m like no, when I body sl fuck that. He ammed his ass st ru c k m . e and that’s

After they broke up the fight, I started to go to my class when I saw the Dean walking with this lady I never knew. And Mr. Folley like I want to do a interview with you. I like what kind of interview? He’s like go and find out. I’m like cool. She takes me in this room where there is refreshments on the table and asks would I like some. She introduced herself to me and tells me her name is Ms. Guff. And she’s going to help me with my speech. I tell her thank you.

Now it’s tryouts for the basketball team and I make the second team. Jason makes the first team. He like my bad about hitting you and getting you in trouble. I’m like it’s cool my boy. We started chopping it up about who was going to buy some phillies. I got it. He gives me like 4 bags of 31 “reggie.” I tell him I don’t got no money. He’s like it’s on me but you got to smoke one with me. Cool my nigga.

I took 3 to my cous in. Where the fuck you get them from a lot of that shit, G ? I’m like this white . She tell me let’s go boy. He got to Ta sh a’ s on punishment. Al crib. I’m like, you fo l yeah, my daddy to rgot that I was ld me to tell you th out of here and he at yo u were off, get the told me to tell you fuck good job. Like fuck house. When we ge al l that. Let’s go to Ta t to Tasha’s house sha’s she look good as fu she have some ro ck as usual. I aske lling paper. She te d her did ll me let her see th this from. I’m like m e w ee d.

He like where you get y homie. Why? Wha t’s up? He like that 3-25. Hell yeah. So ’s so m e go od 31. He like I give I go look for Jason and cannot find hi Brandon and Rick. m .

I ru n in to his brothers He like check out Ba

by G. Where my br Rick over there smok ot he r?

I look for him. Z an ing something that d did not smell like w I was crazy. I’m lik ee d.

Brandon look at me e why the fuck yo like u looking at me. C crib. He like we ab ome with me real qu out to smoke. Like ick to my cool.

I see Mama Steadmad. She gives me a hug and asks me was I hungry . I tell her yeah.

She was making spaghetti and cat fish. Brandon give me a big chunk of weed to roll. Roll all of this. He like yeah, now we smo king and shit and out of nowhere I get struck. Mama came in there and give me my foo d then she says to Brandon, what the hell you give the boy that shit for. He like I need to see what I had because he knows good quality. 10-15 minutes later my high started to com e down.

I ate some of my food that was cold, but still good than a motherfucker. I finally ask Brandon do he have some of that for sale. He like I got you. He gives me an ounce and tells me to give $60.00 back. I’m like get the fuck out of here, for real? Jason comes in the room and asks me why didn’t I come to basketball practice. I’m like damn, I forgot.

The Dean calls my uncle and let him know that I did not come to practice. So when I got home my uncle was already there. But for some reason I was still high as shit. It’s like he has a GPS on me cause he always knew when something was going on with me. For example the other day he came home early and I was watching TV when I didn’t supposed to be watching. He caught me with the controller on my chest sleeping.

So anyway now I have to face the problem.

So when I get to the door I try to get water and put it on my face, but my uncle is right there at the patio window. Asking me why the hell I’m putting water on in the winter time.

I’m like, shit this motherfucker always on point. He’s like check it out. First tell me why you didn’t go to basketball practice. I’m like damn, how the hell he knew that?

He’s like tell me the truth because if you don’t I’m going to put you back on punishment.

I did not go because I did not want to get in trouble for fighting John, Jake, Peter.

He’s like who you talking about? The boys who was making fun of me cause the way I talk. So why didn’t you tell the coach that? Because y’all knew that the boys was making fun of the way I was talking. Y’all thought the shit was funny. You didn’t care what I thought about the situation.

So as we getting to talking I’m hot as shit and I get to sweating.My uncle like why are you sweating? I’m like I don’t feel right. He’s like go drink some water. I put my bag down and go upstairs. My uncle pick up my bag to bring to me and he smells weed. He opens my bag and found the weed Brandon gave me. Now he goes and flush the weed down. Now motherfucker I know why you didn’t go to practice. You was high and probably forgot.

Now what was I supposed to do now that he flush the weed? I ask him why did he do that. He tells me because he can, this his house. So I’m like I need money to pay them back. He acting like he don’t hear me. I’m thinking real hard, how was I going to pay them back. I thought real quick when he takes his wife to work in the morning I would take it off his desk. But that shit didn’t happen.

My auntie calls me in the room and she talks my ears off. First she tells me to stand in the corner and wash the walls off. Then she tells me to wash the dishes. It’s going on like 8pm. Now my uncle asks me did I do my homework. I tell him no, I need help. He asked me what I need help with. I say English. He sits down at his desk and takes his money out his pocket. My eyes light up and let him see my English work. He’s like what do you need help with? Nouns and adjectives. He helps me and tells me I was on 1 week of punishment. Then he tells me get ready for bed.

I don’t like the rules here at all. This shit is making me real upset. It’s not like when I was with Grandmother. As I would remember I would always have better clothes than everybody else. Now that I live with my uncle, I don’t get treated like his kids. They get mo money than me, better clothes and that stuff is hard for me to deal with. I see my cousin and Chonnie ask me what's going on. I’m like yo Daddy, G. She’s like what about him? I’m like he went in my bookbag and found the weed Brandon gave me and flushed the shit. Now I owe Brandon money and I’m on punishment.

How much money you owe Brandon? $60.

She asked me how much money I had. I told her $25. She tells me that she would help me pay Brandon back on Monday. Thanks b****, you need to tell yo daddy to give me a little space.You trippin, Greg. You forgot who you talking about my daddy and your uncle.

I saw Brandon at school and gave him $45, he told me to come to his crib after school.

I went to Brandon‘s house and when I got there, Jason, Keith, Ricky, T, Jason told me to still come to practice. I’m like cool. Brandon told me to watch out for the police.

When I left I thought about going to Tasha’s crib to see did she want to smoke. But when I got there I saw policemen in her entry. As I was getting ready to leave the K-9 policeman was coming down the street, but they kept going. I was really happy they didn’t stop me, because it would’ve been curtains.

I go in the crib and my uncle and caseworker are having a talk about something. Now I’m looking confused because I really don’t see her like I used to when I was younger living with my grandmother. I see Julian and she asked me how I was doing and I told her good, she says fine. I need to ask you something. I’m like what?

She asked me did I want to be adopted or citizen guardianship?

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G. McGee I Am From I am Sleezy, Jeezy, AKA Gregory I am Westside of Chicago I am John M. Smith School I am from choke house, free food in the summer I am from Holy Family Church I am from where Chicago Fire is filmed I am from the best Italian Ice I am from where you got to keep yo head high I am from Chi I am from gravy dipped bread, soaked I am from where I used to help my grandfather with his garden I am from where niggas live that Lobby Life I am from where I used to jump over bodies before I go to school I am from where they have shootouts with the police I am from where there is no structure I am from no honor I am from no justice I am from no freedom I am from Chicago, City of Broken Dreams Lost hope and falling soldiers

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