My Life in Roseland by Fred "Buzzy" Thompson Lee

MyLife LifeinInRoseland Roseland My

“Buzzy” FredFred Thompson Lee Jr. "Buzzy" Lee Thompson The Rose That Grew From The Concrete

The Rose That Grew From Concrete

The ConTextos Authors Circle was developed in collaboration with young people at-risk of, victims of, or perpetrators of violence in El Salvador. In 2017 this innovative program expanded into Chicago to create tangible, high quality opportunities that nourish the minds,,expand the voices and share the personal truths of individuals who have long been underserved and underestimated. Through the process of drafting, revising and publishing memoirs, participants develop self-reflection, critical thinking, camaraderie and positive selfprojection to author new life narratives.

Since January 2017 ConTextos has partnered with Cook County Sheriff's Office to implement Authors Circle in Cook County Department of Corrections as part of a vision for reform that recognizes the value of mental health, rehabilitation and reflection. These powerful memoirs complicate the narratives of violence and peace building, and help author a hopeful future for human beings behind walls, their families and our collective communities.

While each author’s text is solely the work of the Author, the image used to create this book’s illustrations have been sourced by various print publications. Authors curate these images and then, using only their hands, manipulate the images through tearing, folding, layering and careful positioning. By applying these collage techniques, Authors transform their written memoirs into illustrated books.

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My Life In Roseland

Fred “Buzzy” Thompson Lee

Intro I feel like growing in Roseland helped me and hurt me, but at the same time it made me who I am today. I lost a lot of close people on the way and found out that people I thought was my brothers really was not. It really hurts that it is the way it is now. So me making it to 40 years old has gave me a new look on life but I wish some people were still here with me. I wrote this the day before my birthday.

It’s October 27, 1982, the day I was born, one of the best days of my parents' life. I was both of their first son. My father was so happy that he ran in the middle of Stony Island crying out “I Got A Son!”

When I was born it was two of us. Me and my sister, the four years later my lil brother Peanut came. He is my best friend, he and I did everything together. I got into all types of things growing up.

It was the 80’s everybody was into coke at the time, my parents house was where everybody came, cause it was all love and good times.

I remember all the good times with my family, then crack came and ripped my family apart. My father started smoking and then my mother got a divorce from him. I can say that really messed us up. My father was around for a while, but went out West and started a new family.

My mother used to be a bartender and her and this guy named Al got their own bar.

This was around the early 90’s. Night life was my mothers life. So with her and my father not around, we got wild and was into all types of things.

I really looked up to my sister growing up cause she was in a gang and ran with all the dudes in the hood. I wanted to be like them but when times got hard, she left me and my lil brother to fend for ourselves.

I was so hurt when my sister left and moved in with my father. Like why would you leave me and Nut. It just made me more cold to the world. All the guys I looked up to, I surpassed all of them. They feared me and just knew that was cool. I just ain’t know how much pain it would bring.

It's around 1995-96, my mother got her life together and started working in the Sears Tower at Mrs Levy's Deli. Thank God that my mother met Mrs Levy cuz she helped her out a lot. I really like to thank my mother cuz she never gave up on us, she did her best, raising two boys on her own.

Man when Momma went to work it was just me and Nut. We got into all types of shit, we used to fight all the time with other people and each other.

My mom did her best with me but it was too late, the streets had me. Now as I look back it really hurts cause it really hurt my mother. She is my world, she used to talk to me and say that I was not raised like that and could not believe the things she was hearing about me in the streets. My mother is a strong black woman cuz she's been through everything with me and I've been through some shit that would break a grown man and was just a kid trying to be a grown man.

Into I feel like growing in Roseland helped me and hurt me, but at the same time it made me who I am today. I lost a lot of close people on the way and found out that people I thought was my brothers really was not. It really hurts that it is the way it is now. So me making it to 40 years old has gave me a new look on life but I wish some people were still here with me. I wrote this the day before my birthday.

He was killed when I was only 7 years old. Me being so young, I ain't know the reason I looked up to my uncle Was the same reason he was killed. but I soon found out.

When my uncle died, it turned me cold. it really hurt my mother, that was her little brother. I had a lot of rage inside of me. He had four daughters and one son Valerie, Shavon, Melvina, Justine, and Lil Melvin.

We all lived in the same hood- Valerie, Melvin, Justine and Melvina used to be around all the time, but Shevon not that much. Lil Melvin is like my big brother even though he is only a month older than me. We grew up fast, by the time we were 16 years old, two of our friends got killed. R.I.P. Lil Derrick and Dion. We used to fight with the dudes from the next complex. One day one of them had a gun. From that day it’s been all bad.

It was a couple of months after Dion was killed, Lil Melvin went to jail for murder in 99 and is still there. It’s 2023 now and he won't come home till 2038. That really fucked up my mind and I ain’t know what to do. So, I just went wild

My father came and talked to me and told me he know about the things going on. He said if people fear you one day they would kill me just like they did my Uncle Kato. Or put me behind a wall where they ain’t have to worry about me. My old man taught me a lot. He went to jail for a murder before I was born. He would always tell me he wanted better for me, but the streets had me.

I was 16 years old, and knew it all. Life was good. Had a couple rich guys behind me.

R.I.P. Big Nasty. I had the land by then if anything happened, everybody came and got me cause it was not a thing that could stop me. Some tried but did not succeed.

It was nothing that I would not do and everybody said I was crazy. I just knew they loved me but later in life, I found out that it was not love. My lil brother was looking up to me and would follow in my footsteps.

One dude’s girl came and told me she wanted to have sex with me cause her baby daddy was scared of me. Then I got shot 3 times at 17 years old. It made me a lil bit different.

Everybody used to say I was crazy. I’m not proud of this. I was a bully growing up and a lot of people feared me. Real story, I used to slap the guys up in front of their girls. Tell them not to do nothing on the block til I was done.

I was trying to be something that was all wrong, cause the life we think is cool is not. I hope someone can read this and stay in school and do the right thing. Cause trust me it’s not worth your life or the pain.

Roseland was a beautiful place growing up. Then it was a lot of people moving out and then it went all bad. I was once one of them dudes that said fuck it all. Now that I have kids it’s too many names but I love all my babies. Now that I’m 41 in Cook County Jail fighting for my life. Thirty one years to life, was it all worth it? “Hell no!” R.I.P. to all my guys I lost. It’s too many of y’all to name but just know I ain’t forgot y’all.

It was so hurtful to lose so many people. It lost me along the way. I became someone that I don’t like today. My lil brother Peanut looked up to me and did as I did. It was hard for me the first time he went to jail, I ain’t know what to do

Sometimes I think if I would have done things differently, my brothers would not be in some of the situations they are in today.

I like to thank my stepfather, he was always here for us and took care of my mother.

Hope you know Pops you mean the world to me. To my kids and Peanut, man without y’all I would be lost. To Hannah, my sister Peanut’s wife, I love you and thank you for everything.

My sister Angel had 3 kids, Markco, Mee-Mee, Valerie. They are like my kids and mean the world to me. I love my sister with all my heart.

I became a Muslim 3-21-23 and my life has changed so much in 7 months. It’s teaching me patience and would like to help someone not make the same bad choices. Just know you are better than that. To my Momma, thank you for making me a man.

This from the Quran: The Cow 2-45 And seek help through patience and prayer. Indeed, it is a burden except for the humble.

Outro I feel like some people are acting crazy, and ain’t even like that. I know it should not make me mad, but it does a lot. Sometimes I get so mad it hurts I’m finding ways to stop letting people get to me, for real. I know better so I’m working on me.

Fred "Buzzy" Thompson Lee I Am From I am from Roseland, 114th and Yale From where I had my first fight and my first kiss I am from Jackie’s house where she don’t play that shit I am from blue skies and no hope That’s where I always looked when times get hard I’m from where Big Tex got killed and Nasty got rich From getting money and chasing girls or die trying And from where many don’t get old I’m from where we was told don’t be nobody's fool And from where it’s not safe so keep it on you I’m from where people go to church and come home And act like they never went I’m from Roseland From where pizza never get old From where Nasty told me get money that’s what we do I am from where I lost a lot of close friends I am from Fred and Jackie

Until the lion learns to write their own story, tales of the hunt will always glorify the hunter - African Proverb Copyright

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