Checkin In by Davonte Brown

Checkin In

Davonte Brown

The ConTextos Authors Circle was developed in collaboration with young people at-risk of, victims of, or perpetrators of violence in El Salvador. In 2017 this innovative program expanded into Chicago to create tangible, high quality opportunities that nourish the minds,,expand the voices and share the personal truths of individuals who have long been underserved and underestimated. Through the process of drafting, revising and publishing memoirs, participants develop self-reflection, critical thinking, camaraderie and positive selfprojection to author new life narratives.

Since January 2017 ConTextos has partnered with Cook County Sheriff's Office to implement Authors Circle in Cook County Department of Corrections as part of a vision for reform that recognizes the value of mental health, rehabilitation and reflection. These powerful memoirs complicate the narratives of violence and peace building, and help author a hopeful future for human beings behind walls, their families and our collective communities.

While each author’s text is solely the work of the Author, the image used to create this book’s illustrations have been sourced by various print publications. Authors curate these images and then, using only their hands, manipulate the images through tearing, folding, layering and careful positioning. By applying these collage techniques, Authors transform their written memoirs into illustrated books.

This project is being supported, in whole or in part, by federal award number ALN 21.027 awarded to Cook County by the U.S. Department of the Treasury.

Checkin In

Davonte Brown

Hey Ma, I was just sitting here with you on my mind. You know the good old days, us chilling, kicking the bobos like the first time you caught me high and did that silly ass dance, I fell the fuck out.

Yeah, that was priceless. I still be crying laughing about it. I’ve been trynna maintain out here. It’s hard though. Like I be laughing and smiling but I’m really fucked up mentally and emotionally. But imma stay strong for the family and do what I gotta do.

Speaking of family, Myriah is getting big as hell. Her and DMan damn near the same size. She still a lil busy body all over the damn place. But I’m proud of my baby.

She’s the top of her class. “She real advanced” as you use to say. Her birthday is toma and this lil girl want everything in her sight.

I talked to Shawn today. He holding up. Got some good news today. You got another grandbaby on the way. That boy ain’t playing no games.

Still an ACTIVE FATHER DMan and Nique Nique need for nothing. He started his career path. That boy becoming a man to the fullest. DMan doing good in school, staying on the right path.

He swears he a lil muscle man. I make him do pushups when we talk. We in competition and Nique Nique is still a lil spoiled brat. She still the boss cause her daddy still does whatever she say.

Lolo Jailyn still be in his own lil world doing what he do. He’s not the average teenager.

Some might call him a lame. The typa shit that excited us at his age don’t do nothing for him.

I love it though cause he his own man. He wants to be a biochemist, whatever that is. I love it, it sounds fancy and shit. And the girls they getting all grown and stuff. Akiyah still on the honor roll and staying on track.

The other day she told me she broke up with her boyfriend cause she feel like she was holding him back. Shorty, I fell out cause I ain’t know to laugh or cry about it. Jada just made the honor roll. I’m proud of her.

She still think she everybody momma. Told me to be cool fore she take her belt off, like I ain’t the big brother. Jamiah went from Fs to Cs. She trying and I give her an A for that. She acting just like I was a lil knuckle head (my twin) LOL.

Grandma been strong through all of this. I know it’s tuff for her. She can’t be away from us for too long. She told me she’s taking the kids with her to Mississippi and they are not feeling that at all. Well everybody but Miah. But I told them to go and try it out.

You know none of us never been there. But we all feel the same about momma.

We love and miss you dearly Baby. It’s hard living without you. We trying but I swear it hurts like hell. We gone keep striving for the best and be the best.

We gone make you proud Momma believe that. But I was just checking in, letting you know what was going on. Until we meet again Beautiful Mother of mine.

I love you always & forever, Yours truly, yo oldest baby

August 21, 2023 became the worst day of my life. I was currently going through a battle in my life when mother passed. That was devastating, almost to the point I just wanted to give up.

I was in a real dark place mentally & emotionally. I was heartbroken and sad but mostly I was angry. I had so much anger at myself the most cause I couldn’t be there in a physical aspect.

You see my Mother wasn’t just my Mother. She was my best friend, my protector, my provider. She was my everything. She was my provider like if I needed clothes she was there, a meal she was there and even advice about anything.

She protected me from bullshit and bullshit people and even myself when I wasn’t thinking right. Like it was tough for my mother raising us but she never showed it. She is the strongest woman I have seen to do it thus far.

She instilled so much knowledge in me to be the man I am today. The main thing I keep with me is to keep my head up through whatever.

So momma is gone, stay strong for the family. Be the man you groomed me to be.

I thank and appreciate you so much. It’s really hard every day. I battle within myself not to crash out but the family keeps me level headed. I really felt like I had nobody to turn to AT ALL.

I know you’re forever in my heart and spirit, still showing me the way and watching over me. I’m thankful for you as a Mother. I miss and love you dearly.

I promise to achieve every goal and accomplish every task as the man you raised me to be.

Davonte Brown I Am From I am Davonte Brown I am the father of a loveable & intelligent baby girl, Damyriah who brings me peace & joy, To my Mother Rochelle, Brother Travis & Sister Tatiana Blossom in heaven & I love and miss y’all dearly.

To Shawn, stay focused Brother, your goals are in your grasp.

To Jailyn, my baby brother, keep striving for Change & development & continue to feed your desire to be successful.

To Akiyah, expand your knowledge And build characteristics that will help you flourish through life.

To the twins, Jada & Jamiah, discovering who you are is the key to the world But first you have to understand and if you have a plan you will always win.

To the world, whatever hardship descends upon us in our battle with life We can overcome & conquer.

Unwilling to accept defeat or let it break us.

Until the lion learns to write their own story, tales of the hunt will always glorify the hunter - African Proverb Copyright

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