A gift and a curse

A Gii and A Curse

By Shakar Stone

“Until the lion writes his own story, the tale of the hunt will always glorify the hunter.”

The Soy Autor writing process was developed in collaboration with young affected by violence in El Salvador. In 2017, this innovative program expanded into Chicago to create tangible, high quality opportunities that nourish the minds, expand the voices and share the personal truths of individuals who have long been underserved and underestimated.Through the process of drafting, revising, illustrating and publishing memoirs, the Authors’ Circle participants develop self-reflection, critical thinking, camaraderie, and positive self-projection to create new life narratives.

In collaboration with:

A Gift and A Curse Shakar Stone

I go to sleep every night cursing the curse and seeking my blessings. I’m the last of an already dying breed. My life is a series of giis and curses.

I was born healthy on February 21st.

To a dysfuncconal mother Sandra Thomas, an unknown father and a dysfuncconal stepfather Anthony Thomas.

I know now they had mental problems.

I have 3 brothers: Jeery, Michael and Terrance and one sister Nicole. I am the youngest boy, but the middle child.

My name is Shakar Caron Stone.

I was abused mentally and physically. My parents messed my head up. I’m ssll dealing with some of the things they put me through. I lived with my parents unnl the age of seven or eight then I was taken into DCFS. I ended up in insstuuons and group homes which ullmately prepared me for jail and prison.

Self taught bookworm.

Before I entered DCFS, my parents taught me how to hustle outside of Jewel’s and Dominick’s to ask for money for groceries for my family. Later I sold heroin at 10, ditching school at 11 years of age.

I can ďŹ t in and survive in any situaaon.

I developed so many personaliies that I lost myself even before I knew who I was. All my life I was considered as the worst. People never asked me what I thought, not even my parents.

Then came the ABPSRN which is Almighty Black PStone Ranger Naaon who and which became my mother and father.

I love and hate it all the same. It taught me a lot.

Street life intelligence is money over everything. My life has been in danger. I’ve done everything under the sun--sold drugs, robbed, stole, shot and been shot at.

Group homes and foster care helped raise me. Made me resilient.

Learned to command respect for myself. Respect gets me further than anything. I don’t deal with feelings and emooons.

I can’t be soo or weak.

Group homes and insstuuons prepared my ass for jail. I turned up my savage and turned down my humanity. I made and lived with my own decisions.

I am built tough. My life is built on resilience and respect.

At 17, I got lymphedema. There is no cure.

Everything I learned, I learned it the hard way.

I switched schools a lot: Swii, Lawrence Hall, Sullivan, Jones Commercial. I’ve be kicked out of schools for gangbanging, fighhng, selling drugs. I did not cross a stage in 8th or senior year, instead got alternaave cerrficates.

I can only rely on myself. I trust people to a degree.

I am a good judge of character because I don’t trust NOBODY. I’m annsocial.

Freedom

Once you have a felony in your background, you are cursed.

I am living proof of that.

I have everything which I never had, which is a family. I have a 6 year old son who needs me in the world to guide, support and listen to him.

My biological siblings are strangers to me.

Refleccons There’s nothing I’ve never seen nor been through. I am truly a product of my environment--group homes and insstuuons.

You may think my story is bad, but my life story offers wisdom.

For Young People: Be yourself for yourself. Stay out of the streets. The street life brings pain, heartbreak and me you’ll never get back.

For Teachers and Staff in DCFS: You are the bridge. If you don’t hear the young people you are supposed to help, the streets will. YOU ALL ARE THE BRIDGE! Listen to young people. Help them solve problems. One me of proving you can help develops respect, which lasts a lifeeme.

For Myself: Mind, body and soul: Live and be free.

I am from DCFS From government cheese and sugar water I am from the dysfunctional household Chitown, always exciting northside I am from Allah The Most Gracious and The Most Merciful I’m from Check Day shopping at the end of the month From Sandra Thomas and Anthony Thomas I’m from the very abusive and very poor family From Don’t be Soft!

And stand up and be accounted for I’m from Islamic Monotheism Love, Truth, Peace, Freedom, and Justice I’m from the Illinois State, Chi City Tacos and spaghetti and meatballs From the Family of Strangers.