Chilli Studios, formerly known as Newcastle and Gateshead Art Studio (NAGAS), provides a number of creative services and opportunities for people who are experiencing mental health issues or other factors that may lead to social exclusion. The Chilli Studios team of creative professionals and support workers aim to engage people creatively to promote inclusion and interaction, develop skills, build resilience and ultimately improve wellbeing. They facilitate a programme of creative workshops for members to take part in; including drawing, painting, sculpture, ceramics, craft, creative writing, digital and new media, music and more.
Produced by JMBurke & Chilli Studios Creative Writing session held by Sky Hawkins www.sky@the-word-bird.com www.chillistudios.co.uk twitter: @ChilliStudios Formed in 2006 charity no. 1116957
The Writing Group at Chilli studios is a safe place for people to express their voices and share their experiences of the world. Sky Hawkins, AKA The Word Bird, has been facilitating the group for the last three years. This eclectic collection of poems has been produced by participants from the creative writing group and covers a diverse range of styles and topics. We hope you enjoy them.
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CONTENTS A tube of sound
Graham Innes
5
Acrostic
Janette K
6
All in the mind
Allen Forrest
7
Another Geordie day
Allen Forrest
7
Bad start
Allen Forrest
7
Bridge over Blackened Water
David Turner
9
Cherry Quip
Olya Bowers
9
Chesterfield
David Hardy
10
Elements
Allen Forrest
11
Finding the way
Allen Forrest
11
I am glad
Ruth Hill
12
I don’t love the sun
Duncan Murray
13
taken for granted
Duncan Murray
13
Indifference
Duncan Murray
14
It’s about time
Duncan Murray
14
In The Steps Of Stout Cortez
David Turner
15
Just because
Janette K
16
Look what is in the corner
David Turner
17
3
Open to the Blue Sky
Graham Innes
18
Said the Mad Hatter with a glare
Carol Robinson
19
Shameless From Shields Road
Olya Bowers
20
SPRING
David Hardy
21
Sitting on the shore
Duncan Murray
22
Summer 2013
Janette K
23
Take your time
John Young
25
The gift
John Young
25
The path
Duncan Murray
26
The Scream
Duncan Murray
26
The sound of the world
David Turner
27
The Wings of a Promise
Graham Innes
28
The wings of your promise
Carol Robinson
30
The worlds upside down
John Young
31
There are times
John Young
32
WE ARE NAGASIANS AND FULL OF HOT AIR
Olya Bowers
33
What a laugh
John Young
35
YOU
Duncan Murray
36
54- not out
John Young
37
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A tube of sound I was born without sound It happened to me I couldn’t heard anything But it not end of world How? Well….I can see it and I can feel it I don’t need sound See and feel Good enough for me It’s not a black world I have feel it, in a million times See and silent is a small world A tube of sound is a HUGE Full of noise Not me Silent that only way of life The world looks like full of ants But not me Very very few like me Very rare I accept it That way of life That me
Graham Innes 5
Acrostic Feeling low Ink black as the night North wind blows Down pours the rain Isolated from people Nothing is easy Going along the path Tough is the journey High is the obstacles Easterly I go Walk forward and onward Across the abyss You are there, it feels good
Janette K
6
All in the mind Pamela got sick of being soft and wet and wobbly She did the ‘Mind Power’ positive course Now she is IRON LADY Extra-strong HARD AS NAILS But not human really Another Geordie day Here we go again Another day, another dumpling I wish I was him : or her She might wish she was me I can’t think of a new different me Just can’t : but tomorrow hasn’t been touched yet
Bad start My bicycle took me through some good years as a boy. It was a girls bike actually as me mother talked me out of the expensive boys racer. A girls bicycle. I should mention that to my therapist. It might explain some things. Allen Forrest 7
Bridge over Blackened Water So far from home and far from friends Where does this strange path lead? Along this wandering listless way I go and pay no heed. Walking slowly and alone. Whilst thoughts of endless pain Whirl about my aching head Again, again again. O would this were that endless night In Hades' silent halls. O would this were the end of light Beyond its high bronze walls. If that were so then this black stream That rolls beneath my feet Were Lethe, Acheron or Styx Flowing deep and fleet. Now I must cross this narrow bridge, Above the tidal stream That flows and whirls enticingly How inviting does it seem. Bridge over Troubled Water Your peace I wish to find.
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Bridge over Blackened Water Ease my troubled mind. David Turner
CHEERY QUIP It is not hard Not at all To drive yourself Right up the wall Think of holes in ozone And CO2 Nuclear waste And algae blue If that does not turn you grey Just remember Hiroshima day That is when America dropped the bomb To show they were right And the Japs were wrong
Olya Bowers
9
Chesterfield Inspired and inspiring The spire there stood Looking there over the Fields and woods
If only this spire had The right wood within Crooked and twisted There be not a sin
Davis Hardy
10
Elements The wind has time to hurt. It takes little breaks then gusts you up the most. It’s not God though. It just does his dirty work with meaningful cruelty. I can understand Mr.Rain though he makes the food to grow. Mr.Wind just crumples up in jealousy.
Finding the way Getting back to health I have been told that is your wealth I now know that is true Be determined You will get there Keep on going You will get there Just think At the end of the tunnel You will see light You will get there Life is good When you get there Allen Forrest 11
I am glad I am glad I took up writing as a child It’s been my hobby for many years Putting my thoughts and feelings down on paper I am glad I told the truth when I needed help I am glad I joined NAGAS
Ruth Hill
12
I don’t love the sun The sun shines but I feel nothing Seeking the shadows Not wanting to be in the light Exposing the cracks; the imperfections No let the sun leave my presence And bring that blanket of beautiful enveloping night When darkness lays her crimson cloak around me My soul silhouetted in its fragrance And there the spirit abides
Taken for granted I was a chair that you sat on A table you put on A carpet you walked on Now I am gone You see my face But when I was You did not care
Duncan Murray
13
Indifference Indifference is the cruellest Like bitter winds blow Never stopping to listen of harsh winters. No thoughts no asking, not wanting to know. A spring beginning but to soon to show The chilling of bones that destroys any life
IT'S ABOUT TIME Streams unending flowing always moving never still, changing every second, no stopping to consider. Pilgrims on a journey not to ponder or to rest, in waters silent once but now disturbed. IT destroys and never surrenders devouring futures as well pasts. Nothing can withstand. Man or nature cannot avoid its relentless march. A pebble dropped the ripple becomes and then no more. No mark of its passing, no evidence or clue, and resistance cannot stand this time in hand as slipping through fingers like grains of sand.......
Duncan Murray
14
In The Steps Of Stout Cortez In me are all the roads and paths and ways Where men walk through the trauma of their days. I know the deep, dark caves and sunlit peaks Where pain-filled groans contend with joyous shrieks; I know that tunnel where no hope shines a light, Where walls and roofs grow narrower and tight, And the train behind prevents you turning back, And the darkness up ahead has blocked the track; I know the dreadful logic of the pain That argues that the children should be slain; And I have yearned to enter endless night Where no dawn brings the moving, doing light. Yet I have sat upon a hill in Greece, Seen rising suns through rosy fingered fleece And felt my soul conjoined with ancient bards; And stood upon that peak in Darien (1) And watched above the clouds, the glowing sun Set upon the last land of the West, Still bright with light though darkness bathes the rest, Then sink beyond the Peaceful Ocean's rim To light far lands beyond that long salt swim, And fire a green flash (2) from parting day As Time from World to World marks this one way. David Turner NOTES: (1) On First Looking into Chapman's Homer - John Keats (2) In the tropics the rapid sunset and refraction by the atmosphere causes a flash of green light as the rim of the Sun goes below the horizon.
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Just Because Just because I am on medication Doesn’t mean people can take a lend of me Just because I am tired Doesn’t mean I am sleeping all the time Just because I am old Doesn’t mean I am past everything Just because I am not tough Doesn’t mean I am a push –over Just because I am an artist Doesn’t mean I know everything Just because I am writing Doesn’t mean I am correct Just because I am a women Doesn’t mean I am a second class citizen
Janette K
16
Look what is in the corner Look what is in the corner, It’s very dark and furtive It crouches down into a small ball. I think it is me. It is hiding from something I’ve done. Something I am ashamed of. I am so ashamed I cannot articulate it. It has ruined my life But I don’t have the courage To come out of the corner and face it. Every night the demons visit me. I cower in the corner, Hide from the world. Then one day a wonderful women Confronts me. I have no choice but to face it. When I look There is nothing there.
David Turner
17
Open to the Blue Sky In the dark I knew it they are lot of people I could see it, there are greyish dull inside As dark like transit I waiting for it to open the mystery door There have a long queue They are lot of people Where I am? I ask Just wait, said the other For how long? I don't know, Just wait replied the other Alright I will wait, I sighed Wait, wait, wait It was a nice waiting then The light just appeared Into deadly bright white screamed my face! That hurt my eyes They have a million shine eyes Because it was incredible bright to see Then my eyes were blurred from it That made me feel like refresh blue air Ahh that was good We started to walking On toward the blue light Breathed like blue I came out from the darkness 18
Big blue feel free! It beautiful blue It just open to the sky Welcome to the heaven
Graham Innes
Said the Mad Hatter with a glare We are all mad here Said the Mad Hatter to Alice Would you like a slice of cake? Was that a no? Then go and sit there on your lonesome, without cake Until you ache‌‌.. We are all mad here!
Carol Robson
19
Shameless From Shields Road Going from Byker on the 39 bus to Toon I squeeze next to a young lad He is adjusting the piercing in his ear I say I don’t want the middle seat. Once I was flung down the centre of the bus, when It braked suddenly He is congenial and gracious Nay bother pet He takes his mobile from his pocket How can I not listen? I did not hit you I am sure I didn’t Well I may have grabbed yer, to get you to come over. Gayner says I didn’t hit you not really Hard? No I’d never hit yer hard Listen, I am in Toon now Meet me later we will talk No I can’t have hit you hard Honest, I wouldn’t have, I couldn’t have! The lad looks down at his disconnected phone 20
I avert my gaze granting him a privacy he did not seem to require for himself
Olya Bowers
SPRING The fields are so green And rabbits now seen. The swallows are now here And out come the deer The sun is so bright With the full moon at night The long deep sleep of Winter Is now wide awake With new life from within, So laugh, love and sing Our lovely days of light Shall now begin‌.
David Hardy 21
Sitting on the shore Sitting on the shore, thinking, looking out into the vast sea with its many moods changing, but ever the same. As I think, only the sound of the waves on a day without storms, the sound gradually becomes a silence, only my breathing to be heard. The silence of my soul invades. A place of quiet, always be in that quiet, because the ‘quiet’ speaks the loudest. Ships, I see many shadows over the waves as the sun disappears and then suddenly bursts out into a wonderful radiance of many colours on the waters. Meditating, thinking, as I look at the many shapes moving on the surface, like souls dancing to the music of life. Reflecting on the beautiful scene I witness, oh how we dwell on many things of no use like the weeds that grow in our hearts. Please let me be free of this quicksand. Do not struggle I say to myself, be free. Regret is a bad place. Stand up, listen to that quiet again as there is a wisdom infused into our hearts. The water is strange as I enter and I become transported into a different place. The place of awakening Duncan Murray 22
Summer 2013 The weather is hot It really making me weary I feel sluggish Slow like a snail I had a lie down Feel a bit better, make a snack Today it feels heavy, humid I am heavy headed The news said it would rain today But it hasn’t as yet
Janette K
23
Take your time Life is not a race Just slow down your pace Enjoy the view Take everything in your stride Life is not a race Have a laugh Have a cry Do what you want to do Life is not a race
The gift Being kind is a gift Making people happy is a gift Being happy is a gift Being content is a gift Having your health is a gift Having a home is a gift
John Young
24
The Path Forward through the forest of life Into the light of the path Night becomes day as I look for the way Deep in my mind I despair sometimes In a place of shame and solitude No! No! I must keep on Going forward into the unknown Trees, trees is all I see Help me, help me, anyone please? Ending; I must keep going Wandering I see the path At last the dark mist migrates Yonder finally that elusive gate
THE SCREAM Silence as I walk alone, never more alone. Then as thoughts enter my mind, a deafening cry from the other side of the mountain. As the sound becomes louder a soul in darkness, tears so many tears searching, afraid not knowing which way to go. It seeking a companion not wanting to be that scream anymore Duncan Murray 25
The sound of the world Sometimes when I wake in the unnumbered hours of the night or the dog demands to be out I go into the garden Listen to the deep silence of the world It is louder than the hum of distance traffic or the occasional blare of emergency vehicles racing across the city It echoes from sky to sea over hills and plains It is comforting to know that at the worst One day I will be singing this song
Dave Turner
26
The Wings of a Promise I came out from the Abyss, into the light I felt like begin reborn I walk toward the light the front of me To meet the families of the past I feel and it smell was wonderful It was like more than a bunch of flowers I felt so good! I meet my family of the past, and I say to say hello to them I start to learn about the new world The world is belong to the Heaven Somehow the something came out from my back of my head It was about my son, I thought about him a lot Because I always care about him I love him because he's a special son He's a artist - very talent a gift I respect him After a long while in my views new things, new ways I being to wondered what happened to him? I would like to know if he's alright My thought about to start to contact him I spent a long talks with my late my Parent and my Aunties I can to contact him? Oh yes, sure you can come to see The Wings of a Promise The Wings? I asked them with puzzle Yes The Golden Statue of The Phoenix
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I closed my eyes with my heart felt I want to come see the Golden Phoenix Yes, if you wish come now We went to see The Golden Phoenix Welcome A Golden Phoenix - a Wing of a Promise Say hello and tell them what you wish I stared the huge of The Golden Phoenix Hello I want to contact to my son It sent inside of The Golden Phoenix and wait A Promise in one day I wait
Graham Innes
28
The wings of your promise
The wings of my promise to him to reveal who I was and were I was from. I would show him my wings of aeons ago as I was one of Gods angels from above hidden deep amongst mankind, many trillions of years old I would fold my arms around him Envelope him in my warm bosom of love. Then spread my wings Keep my promise
Carol Robinson
29
The worlds upside down
Turn on the telly Children starving Christmas day comes The homeless get a mention Quickly forgotten for another year The January sales Masses of people Bulging shopping bags Paid with plastic Newspapers full of diets Makes you think? When two thirds of the world is starving
John Young
30
There are times
There are times when I feel good There are times when I feel not so good There are times when I feel lonely There are times when I want to be alone There are times when I feel I had be given advice off my dad I should have took There are times I feel I wasn’t the son he wanted There were times that I know he loved me There were times when I said things I shouldn’t have There were times we cried together over a sad film There were times when we laughed so hard, that sometimes our ribs hurt There are times I go to his grave and I wish I was there with him There are times I feel happy going to his grave and say a prayer when the sun shines
John Young
31
WE ARE NAGASIANS AND FULL OF HOT AIR There I was, a Byker teen wanting to save the world still do Every morning when I find the world still here I pat myself on the back I think globally Act locally Very, very locally patting my own back I was a member of the Legion of Mary meeting where NAGAS now creates We helped the feeble and the indigent and felt very noble... I made speeches for the Catholic Evidence Guild I joined the UFO society-the world was so mysterious to me and I had to cover all the bases I courted with politics joined the Young Socialists I remember we painted and decorated the homes of Byker pensioners And here I am, a pensioner myself 32
Living in Byker Wall An agnostic now, yet painting, writing, drumming and pontificating in my teenage haunt I am still a groupie -- a fan of NAGAS May the beat go on... Here in my heart, in Gaia and in NAGAS Keeping us all alive--and lively
Olya Bowers
33
What a laugh
Here we go again Friday night. Here we go again lad’s night. Here we go again meeting in a bar. Here we go again listening to the moans. Here we go again catching up on the week. Here we go again talking to friends in about town. Here we go again another Friday over.
John Young
34
YOU Years are naught and now are gone Where are they now I do not know To you who loved and kept me strong In storms of life as north winds blow Days are less and time is short Your presence here though not in flesh Precious is the mind of gentle thoughts Dreams nay accomplished That extra mile and more you gave Always there as eyes of time With me in life and beyond the grave Your stretching hand into mine Love that death can never destroy Everlasting Evermore.
Duncan Murray
35
54- Not Out 54 still going out on the Toon I am over the moon 54 still doing the Great North Run I am over the moon 54 still here and healthy I am over the moon 54 still able to pull women I am over the moon
John Young
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