Chicago Parent November/December 2022

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This

Mother’s Journey

One mom’s ‘crazy, heartbreaking, beautiful, joyous’ quest to create a happy family.

Happy Holidays

Preserve

HANDPICKED

Up your kids table game this holiday season, food flights to try, readers’

for family-friendly breweries, Dr. Mom’s healthy tips and great parent coach advice.

VOICE

MY MANTRA

BY KATINA BENIARIS

The one thing that makes us happy during the holidays

Find ways to bring more joy and less stress to your holiday season on Page 20.

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The nostalgia of the holidays makes me happy. The traditions, the songs, the food, the stories: This season always takes me right back to being a kid.”

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Holiday dinners, small gatherings with friends and spending time with family brings me so much joy during the holidays. Traditions, like decorating my Christmas tree with my mom and aunt, also make me happy. I look forward to having my son help decorate this year and watching my daughter experience her first Christmas.”

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My themed holiday photo cards. I love costumes and props, and this is my creative way to cut loose and make people smile (snail mailed, of course!). In the past they’ve ranged from vintage pin-up to Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas; this year my pup and I have a “true blue” vibe. Cheers!”

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“ “

Giving gifts has always been tough and honestly stressful for me. Instead of going simple, I way overthink it and it ends up eating up all my holiday brain time. Luckily my husband feels the same way. So instead of giving gifts to each other, we just don’t. It’s one small thing I very much appreciate we DON’T do for each other.”

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PLANNING

HELPING YOUR AGING PARENTS

“

Handpicked

Bits of fun, inspiration and cool finds for you

The Kids Table

Little ones have to be bribed to sit still, tweens gripe that they absolutely don’t belong there and teens, well, they’d rather go hungry than be seen sitting there. The kids table at many holiday gatherings with extended family and friends doesn’t exactly have the best rep — at least the ones we’ve experienced.

It’s time to switch the script. The kids table should be the happening spot for your holidays.

And with just a little work, it can be. Think cute colorful cups and plates, kid-friendly decorations, crafts for little hands and games for all ages.

Or up your kids table creativity by making a new family tradition out of it. Steal this sweet idea from Creative Director

Kelly Buren’s family: Let the kids doodle, write their names and leave notes on the same tablecloth year after year. Thinking about seeing those sweet memories grow over time gives us the warm holiday fuzzies.

PHOTO AND STYLING BY LAUREN JEZIORSKI

Foodie Flights Take Off!

PHOTO AND STORY BY CHERYL EUGENIO

If you’re anything like me, you sometimes have the hardest time deciding what to eat. That's probably why foodie flights have become popular and I am all for it. What’s not to love? You can taste the best of all of the worlds instead of sticking to one.

We have some amazing flight options in Chicago and the suburbs — and you can even make them for the family right at home. Mom for the win!

EAT IN

Flights are a foodie’s best friend and you won’t believe how easy it is to make!

Hands down one of our family’s favorite make-your-own flight options is a waffle flight. (Note: You can easily substitute pancakes for waffles.)

INGREDIENTS:

• Waffle (or pancake mix)

• Baking spray

• Toppings

SUPPLIES:

• Platter or tray

• Waffle iron

• Extras: Chalkboard to label options

Topping options:

• Whipped cream

• Fruit pie filling

• Chopped and toasted nuts

• Granola

• Shredded coconut

• Fruit compote

• Chocolate chips

• Melted chocolate

• Caramel

• Nutella

• Sliced bananas

• Mini chocolate chips

• Powdered sugar

• Maraschino cherries

• Maple syrup

DIRECTIONS:

• Preheat waffle iron and spray with baking spray.

• Follow directions on how to make waffles. In order to make mini waffles, you can either get a smaller waffle iron or just make a regular waffle and divide into 4 equal parts.

• Once the waffles are done, place them on a platter or tray.

• Now for the fun part. Time to add the toppings! Some of our favorite combinations are: Nutella + bananas, strawberries + whipped cream; chocolate + chocolate chips

OTHER EASY NO-COOK OPTIONS:

Who says you have to cook to make your own foodie flight? Here are effortless ways to make your own flight.

Ice Cream Flight: Pick a variety of flavors you’d love to try. Toppings optional but highly recommended.

Pie Flight: No need to bake the pies; grab a few from your fave bakery or store, then cut a slice or scoop into mason jars for the ultimate cute factor. Top with whipped cream or have a side of ice cream with each one.

EAT OUT

When our waffle cravings hit, the mini waffle flights at SYRUP, with locations in Algonquin, St. Charles and Aurora, are our go-to. With options like raspberry mascarpone, chocolate chip bacon, Maui and banana, we always leave with happy bellies.

Love deep-dish pizza? The deep-dish pizza flight at Buddyz in McHenry is a great way to try out a few of the signature flavors with three or four different deep-dish pizzas. The 10-inch pizzas are a great way to be adventurous without committing to a full-size pizza. Breakfast more your thing? Try the waffle flights.

Channel your inner Napoleon Dynamite with a tater tot flight at Wahlburgers in St. Charles. Choose from three different kinds of tots: BBQ chicken, spicy cheese and bacon, Parmesan truffle. For a sweet treat, you can’t miss the gelato flight at Mozzafiato in Elgin or the ice cream and cookies flight at JoJo’s Shake Bar in Chicago and Naperville.

CHERYL EUGENIO is the mom and face behind the blog O the Places We Go! She and her family of five are always on the go. You can find them exploring the latest Chicagoland attraction or embarking on a new family-friendly destination.  otheplaceswego.com @oplaceswego otheplaceswego

Looking for more foodie flight options?

We have them at ChicagoParent.com /LatestIssue.

Babes and Brews

Wondering

BY KARI ZAFFARANO

Sometimes parents just need a night out, but they can’t find a babysitter on short notice. Instead of canceling date night or time with friends, they can head to a kid-friendly brewery. Luckily, we have plenty to choose from in Chicago and the suburbs. On Instagram, we’ve asked our followers to vote for their favorites. Here are the three that ranked on top.

Flossmoor Station Brewing Co.

1035 Sterling Ave., Flossmoor @flossmoorbrewco

This family-owned brewpub serves American classics such as burgers, wings, baby back ribs and more. It also offers Sunday brunch, lunch specials and house made pies. Kids can enjoy a 1/4 slab rib dinner, pizza, pasta and more.

3

Half Acre Beer Co.

2050 W. Balmoral Ave., Chicago

@halfacrebeer

This brewery offers year-round, seasonal, monthly and barrel brews for you to choose from. Kids are welcome in the taproom and beer garden when accompanied by a 21plus adult. The outdoor beer garden is dog-friendly, too.

Sketchbook Brewing Company

821 Chicago Ave., Evanston, and 4901 Main St., Skokie

@sketchbookbrew

The taprooms feature a dozen different beers, gluten-free cider and nonalcoholic kombucha on tap. It offers soda and lemonade for a more family-friendly option. It does not serve food, but has occasional popups from food vendors. Guests are always welcome to bring their own food. There are board games for the kids, too.

is a mom of one and Chicago Parent's audience & sales development assistant. She’s also in-the-know for all the family fun since she oversees our calendar and family fun stories.

KARI ZAFFARANO

Half Acre Beer

Flossmoor Station Brewing

Sketchbook Brewing Company

All parents work daily to make sure that they have a healthy family. We make sure our children are eating delicious, healthy food — and that they are washing their hands, getting adequate sleep and drinking their water. Yet, there are some other things that are important to embrace as we create the best lives for our children.

Get outside and have some fun

Chicago winters offer ample outdoor cold weather. With a little preparation, children can and should get out to enjoy them. For sledding, choose a hill without obstacles and that isn’t near water, roads, trees or lots of people. Sled sitting up or feet first, not head first (leave luging to the pros.) Before going skating, contact the local recreation de partment or law enforcement to ensure ponds are safe and approved for use.

In deciding when a child is ready to begin a winter sport, consider the child’s access to appropriate-fitting gear, demonstrated interest and ability to follow simple instructions. A helmet is a must for skiing, skating and sledding.

Dr. Mom’s Own 411

BY ELIZABETH B. PORTIN

Beyond protection, helmets often pro vide more warmth than winter hats.

Use layers for temperature control

A rule of thumb is to dress children in one more layer of clothing than adults in the same weather conditions. Search for wind- and water-resistant outerwear and remember boots, gloves or mittens and a hat.

In your vehicle, babies should wear thin, snug layers. Snowsuits and thick, bulky coats should not be worn under neath a car seat harness — use them instead as a blanket over the harness. Store car seats and baby carriers in the house to keep them warm.

Viruses are a fact of life, so get ready

Colds and viruses are more common during colder seasons — not because of the cold weather itself, but because of other factors, such as spending more time indoors in close proximity to others and where the air is drier.

Stock up on children’s ibuprofen and acetaminophen. Ask your doctor for the

appropriate dosage of each and when and how to use them. Keeping a sick child hydrated is key. Push fluids — wa ter, electrolyte solutions, like Pedialyte, or even juice or ice pops.

Know when to call the doctor about a fever

Here are a few rules of thumb:

• For babies less than 3 months old, call the doctor if the baby’s temperature reaches or exceeds 100.4 degrees.

• For babies older than 3 months old, call the doctor if the temperature reach es or exceeds 104 degrees, or when any fever lasts more than three days, which may signal a bacterial infection.

• Children should not return to school or daycare until they have been fever-free for 24 hours without fever-reducing medicine, like acetaminophen.

ELIZABETH B. PORTIN, DO, CAQSM

is a board-certified pediatrician and sports medicine physician at RUSH, and the mother of a 10-month-old son, Bennett. A native of St. Louis, Mo., she completed her pediatric residency at RUSH and sports medicine fellowship at Texas Children’s Hospital.

doctors.rush.edu/details/19114

⊲ BONUS TIP Place vaccines at the top of your holiday list

Avoid bringing children to family and other gatherings until they’ve at least received their first round of immunizations (at 2 months). After that, keep them current on their routine vaccines and get those regular flu and COVID-19 shots, which may be administered at the same time.

4 tips I use to keep my family healthy that might help you, too

A Parent Coach’s Advice

From the 'I would never' TikTok trend, lessons all parents can take to heart

BY CATHY CASSANI ADAMS

I would never tell kids their feelings are wrong

It can be so uncomfortable when our kids feel sad, angry or disappointed, but telling them that they shouldn’t feel that way doesn’t help, and it can set them up to deny or feel guilt when uncomfort able feelings arise. The best way to sup port kids during challenging moments is to let them know they are heard and seen, and that their ability to share is appreciated. If your child is demonstrat ing significant or worrisome behavior, ask for professional help. When they are sharing the typical ups and downs of a day, help them name their feelings (“It looks like you feel sad…”), listen closely as they share their story (eye contact and head nods) and practice empathy and understanding (“That sounds hard, I’m so glad you told me…”).

feel unseen and misunderstood. When it comes to activities, music, fashion or whatever else our kids are into, it’s our job to follow their lead.

I would never force kids to hug or kiss people

I would never assume that things are supposed to stay the same

Our kids grow up quickly, and as soon as we think we understand them or know them better, they change. This is exactly what’s supposed to happen. Putting pressure on them to like the things they used to like, or enjoy the things they used to do, not only disre gards their experience, it makes them

Telling our child to hug an aunt or close family friend might feel like we are teaching kindness, but it’s actually a mixed message about consent. We want our kids to be kind and consider ate, especially to people we love, but when our child doesn’t feel comfortable offering intimacy, do we listen and hon or their instincts, or do we worry more about what the adult expects? Helping our kids set personal boundaries, and supporting them as they do, helps lay the foundation for self-trust and future healthy relationships. Instead of a hug or kiss when a family member leaves, try a fist bump, high five or just words to say, “It was so good to see you!”

I would never expect kids to live my dreams

Every parent has a dream for their child, and without self-awareness, we can start directing them toward our desires. We sign them up for dance because we danced, we get them in soccer because we always wished we

played soccer or we start piano lessons early because we envision them playing for the entire family during the holidays. It’s fine to introduce our children to the things we love, but it’s important to then let them choose what they enjoy. They have their own dreams, and while some may overlap with ours, they are their own people, and should be able to chart their own path. We can inspire them by living our own dreams and by doing the things we love. We can role model what it looks like to take a risk, develop a hob by and live a life that is meaningful to us.

I would never forget to be compassionate toward myself and other parents

I’ve been a parent for 19 years and a therapist for 25 years. What I know for sure is that parenting advice is ever-changing and paradoxical. There is no “right way” to do anything, and all kids are different and unpredictable. This means we must be gentle with ourselves as we navigate our parenting experience. We can forgive ourselves for missteps and stay curious about what we can learn. Parenting is about building a relationship with our children over time, and if we see it as a growing and evolving experience, we will be less likely to shame ourselves or be lieve we are doing it “wrong.”

CATHY CASSANI ADAMS, LCSW

is a Chicago mom of three who co-hosts the Zen Parenting Radio podcast and is author of the multiple award-winning Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World and Living What You Want Your Kids to Learn: The Power of Self-Aware Parenting. She is a clinical social worker, certified parent coach, former elementary school educator and yoga teacher. She teaches in the Sociology/ Criminology Department at Dominican University.

zenparentingradio.com

A HUGE Moment for Moms

BY LINDSAY PINCHUK

Whether you are a stay-at-home mom who wants to go back to work, a working mom who wants more flexibility, a working mom who wants to go part-time or a mom who wants a different job, the United States workforce is experiencing a moment in time that is ripe for this generation of moms to take advantage of.

We have two scenarios going on in the workforce. When com bined, they provide the perfect storm of opportunity for moms.

Millions of women left the workforce due to the many constraints the COVID pandemic placed upon them, most commonly childcare. And as we slowly return to normal, many moms want to re-enter the workforce, but on their own terms. While they want to work, many are doing so as freelancers, consultants and contract workers.

If you want to get something done, just ask a mom to do it. She can accomplish more in an hour than many can in a day.

At the same time, there is a Gen Z workplace revolution going on. While “quiet quitting” trends on social media, many young employees have set their own parameters about what they will and won’t do, skating by under the radar in an attempt to do the minimum. While there are multiple layers to the “quiet quitting” conversation, and just as many definitions and interpretations of the term, when it comes down to it, it means one thing for moms who want to work:

OPPORTUNITY.

If you want to get something done, just ask a mom to do it. She can accomplish more in an hour than many can in a day. Which makes moms the perfect employee solution — either full-time, part-time or contractor to offset the current trends in the workplace.

But for moms, let’s be clear: This is not just an opportunity for employers, it is REALLY an opportunity for YOU.

Many of you have years of experience behind you. Many of you worked during a time when it was commonplace to show up, work your butt off and receive rewards and accolades for that work. Almost all of you can multitask and manage your time better than any other demographic on the planet.

Now is the time to ask for what you want because you have the upper hand of workplace experience and work ethic to receive it. Now is your chance to:

Ask for a raise or benefits in your current job. Good employees are not only hard to find, they are next to impossible to come by right now. A good employer will work to keep you from leaving, but they will not simply offer you more to stay. You must ask for it. What are you waiting for?

In a rut? Take this as a chance to find a new job. While yes, we are moving towards a possible economic recession, there are still jobs out there. Plenty of them. With two million mid-upper-level executives leaving the workforce within the last two years, finding employees with actual work experience is incredibly hard. If you are unhappy, or not being compensated accordingly, now is the time to put your feelers out there. At the very least, a job offer could present an opportunity to negotiate with your current employer.

Get back in the workforce, but on your own terms. Many companies are hiring part-time, contract or project-based help to offset the cost of hiring a full-time employee. All you have to do is put yourself out there. If you’ve been home, send an email to everyone you know and let them know you are looking to take on some clients on a project or contract basis. You can create your own terms and make your own schedule, which ultimately is any working mom’s dream come true.

Use this moment to your advantage. Don’t let this snapshot in history slip away without setting yourself and your family up for future success. The opportunity is right in front of you, make sure you snatch it up.

LINDSAY PINCHUK

is a suburban Chicago mom and a business and marketing consultant working with founders to build and monetize their communities for bottom line growth. Check out her podcast, Dear FoundHer.

TELL ME WHY...

TELL ME WHY...

Got a kid riddle you need help sorting out? Send your Why question to editor@chicagoparent.com or just hover your phone’s camera here, no app required.

Got a kid riddle you need help sorting out? Send your Why question to editor@chicagoparent.com or just hover your phone’s camera here, no app required.

Holey Moley! Why Kids Put Things in Their Holes

Holey Moley! Why Kids Put Things in Their Holes

HOW TO PREVENT THIS BEHAVIOR

HOW TO PREVENT THIS BEHAVIOR

BY LORI ORLINSKY

BY LORI ORLINSKY

ou haven’t really been initiated into parenthood until you’ve visited the ER to have a foreign object dislodged from your child’s nose or ear with a giant pair of tweezers. Similarly, how many times have you told your child to take something out of their mouth that doesn’t belong there?

YYou haven’t really been initiated into parenthood until you’ve visited the ER to have a foreign object dislodged from your child’s nose or ear with a giant pair of tweezers. Similarly, how many times have you told your child to take something out of their mouth that doesn’t belong there?

curiosity based on some previous information.

curiosity based on some previous information.

CHILDREN ARE SEEKING SENSORY STIMULATION

CHILDREN ARE SEEKING SENSORY STIMULATION

You may want to scream and yell at your child in these moments of horror, but we’ve consulted with the experts, who say this behavior is actually quite common.

You may want to scream and yell at your child in these moments of horror, but we’ve consulted with the experts, who say this behavior is actually quite common.

“Kids don’t wake up one morning and ask what they can explore on their body,” says Bubrick. “It is more based on previous sensory information that they got inadvertently from some other situation. Then there’s a curiosity about it because something felt good, and they think this new behavior can feel good, too.”

“Kids don’t wake up one morning and ask what they can explore on their body,” says Bubrick. “It is more based on previous sensory information that they got inadvertently from some other situation. Then there’s a curiosity about it because something felt good, and they think this new behavior can feel good, too.”

Bubrick believes that children who repetitively put items in their nose or mouth may be seeking sensory stimulation. Along the lines of pulling things out of the ear, like wax, kids may find that it feels good to put something in, too.

Bubrick believes that children who repetitively put items in their nose or mouth may be seeking sensory stimulation. Along the lines of pulling things out of the ear, like wax, kids may find that it feels good to put something in, too.

Kids who put things in their nose can develop sinus infections. These behaviors also put kids at risk for topical infections, various forms of irritation and choking. While most kids will often stop putting things in their nose or mouth if a doctor needs to intervene, there are simple ways to prevent these incidents before they escalate.

Kids who put things in their nose can develop sinus infections. These behaviors also put kids at risk for topical infections, various forms of irritation and choking. While most kids will often stop putting things in their nose or mouth if a doctor needs to intervene, there are simple ways to prevent these incidents before they escalate.

With the holidays coming up and small items like batteries and lights within reach of little hands, Bubrick suggests putting locks on drawers and keeping potentially dangerous items out of sight from kids.

With the holidays coming up and small items like batteries and lights within reach of little hands, Bubrick suggests putting locks on drawers and keeping potentially dangerous items out of sight from kids.

THEY ARE ENGAGING IN PLAYFUL EXPLORATION

THEY ARE ENGAGING IN PLAYFUL EXPLORATION

Dr. Jerry Bubrick, senior psychologist at the Child Mind Institute Anxiety Disorder Center, says when children exhibit this type of behavior, they are experimenting with the world around them and learning what happens when they try something.

For example, he notes that kids who put things in their nose have likely picked their nose and have discovered a warm, wet place in their body they never knew about.

For example, he notes that kids who put things in their nose have likely picked their nose and have discovered a warm, wet place in their body they never knew about.

“There’s a sensory component to this behavior,” says Bubrick. “It somehow feels good because other parts of their bodies haven’t developed the same way from a sensory point of view, so they’re getting whatever sensory stimulation they can find.”

“There’s a sensory component to this behavior,” says Bubrick. “It somehow feels good because other parts of their bodies haven’t developed the same way from a sensory point of view, so they’re getting whatever sensory stimulation they can find.”

“When your child learns to walk, you have to baby proof your house,” Bubrick says. “Parents also need to child proof in a whole other way. Anything that can go some where it doesn’t belong should go out of reach.”

“When your child learns to walk, you have to baby proof your house,” Bubrick says. “Parents also need to child proof in a whole other way. Anything that can go some where it doesn’t belong should go out of reach.”

Dr. Jerry Bubrick, senior psychologist at the Child Mind Institute Anxiety Disorder Center, says when children exhibit this type of behavior, they are experimenting with the world around them and learning what happens when they try something.

“Kids may realize they like the feeling of taking something out of their nose and then wonder how it feels if they put something in there.”

“Kids may realize they like the feeling of taking something out of their nose and then wonder how it feels if they put something in there.”

THIS BEHAVIOR CAN BE SELF-SOOTHING

THIS BEHAVIOR CAN BE SELF-SOOTHING

The same is true for kids who may put things in their belly button.

The same is true for kids who may put things in their belly button.

Additionally, like most things young kids do, he attributes these actions to curiosity. But specifically,

Additionally, like most things young kids do, he attributes these actions to curiosity. But specifically,

“We’re always asking kids where their belly button is and tickling their bellies, so they may think it’s OK to put things in there because parents draw a lot of attention to it,” he says.

“We’re always asking kids where their belly button is and tickling their bellies, so they may think it’s OK to put things in there because parents draw a lot of attention to it,” he says.

In some cases, Bubrick says, kids may be trying to self soothe when they put things like blankets in their mouth, just like they suck their thumb for comfort.

In some cases, Bubrick says, kids may be trying to self soothe when they put things like blankets in their mouth, just like they suck their thumb for comfort.

Bubrick also says that parents should not laugh when kids put things in their nose, mouth or belly button, because that may push children to continue the behavior.

Bubrick also says that parents should not laugh when kids put things in their nose, mouth or belly button, because that may push children to continue the behavior.

“Any number of things — no matter how unusual they seem — could be soothing to others,” he says.

“Any number of things — no matter how unusual they seem — could be soothing to others,” he says.

“Parents need to have a neutral reaction, because kids could start to see it as a game,” he says. “When this stuff happens, parents should use the opportunity to talk to their kids about safe and unsafe things to put in their bodies.”

“Parents need to have a neutral reaction, because kids could start to see it as a game,” he says. “When this stuff happens, parents should use the opportunity to talk to their kids about safe and unsafe things to put in their bodies.”

REAL LIFE: JOSEPH WILLIAMS

Dads Changing the Narrative

BY TAMARA L. O'SHAUGHNESSY | PHOTO BY THOMAS KUBIK

It started simply by reading a book to help out his child’s classroom teacher.

Before he knew it, however, Joseph Williams had started a movement that today sees his nonprofit, Mr. Dad’s Father’s Club, with a solid base of dads — and now even a Mr. Dad mascot — determined to make things better for Chicago kids.

“For me, our future is at stake, our babies. The why is for our children. I do this because I know how important it is for our children to see positive men making a difference and making a difference in their lives,” Williams says.

Not only is he trying to change the narrative that Black fathers aren’t involved in their kids’ lives, he says, but that together they can help curb the violence in the neigh borhoods and create opportunities for kids for generations to come. Ultimately, he envisions taking the model nationwide.

Mr. Dad’s Father’s Club is not just about putting positive men in the Chicago schools reading books to the kids, however. Williams says they focus on boosting kids’ confidence

and self-esteem. Every book the dads read, including one written by Williams himself, is about kids learning to love themselves, telling and showing them they are beautiful inside and out.

While the focus in PreK to third grade classrooms is literacy, the focus for grades 4-12 is mentoring and teaching civic engagement, financial literacy and how to make a difference. Williams wants to instill in the children more hope and a better future.

“If we can touch these babies’ lives, we can give them opportunities. They are bringing themselves up in today’s times and more than anything, they need somebody to keep them going. They need confidence, they need somebody who knows, somebody who cares,” he says, noting that he strives to do the opposite of his own dad.

Mr. Dad’s also hosts a summer camp and hopes to create a community space near the West Pullman/ Roseland area. Plus, Williams is bringing Black leaders to the kids to inspire them. “Our babies cannot be what they can’t see.”

Mr. Dad’s Father’s Club welcomes monetary donations to help it reach more children and in particular, needs help with grant writing. Williams says Cradles to Crayons has been so generous with physical donations for children and the community, but more is always welcome. Plus, he’s always looking for more dads who want to get involved.

A recipient of an Obama Foundation grant, he says he also spent time with the former president and hopes to secure a spot in the Obama Presidential Library to continue his nonprofit’s work.

Williams says the stories he hears from the young children bring him to tears. That’s why it is a 24/7 focus for him.

Williams grew up in Bronzeville, but he and his wife, Jasmine, are mak ing Chicago’s Englewood neighbor hood home for their children, Janiyah, 16, Samiya, 15, Naomi, 11, Serenity, 9, Joseph Jr., 7, and Josiah, 6 months.

While the lure of a safer neighborhood in the suburbs is always there, Williams says he’s committed to Chicago’s kids.

“It can be scary sometimes. There’s nothing a parent wants to do more than to provide for their children and provide safety for them, to make sure they get the quality education they deserve, to make sure the kids have the necessities that they need,” he says.

Some parents are facing great odds. Williams understands.

“My kids can’t go to a neighborhood playground to play. They can’t walk down the street by themselves. They can’t do certain things because in Chicago, it’s tough right now. It’s so much violence.”

But he sees hope, too. Mr. Dad’s Father’s Club ultimately is about raising kids who care about other people. “This is how you grow a community. You show each other love and care,” he says.

FAST TALK FAST TALK

YOUR DAD SUPERPOWER:

“For me, my superpower is always spreading love. The more I spread it, it continues to spread.” His other one, he says with a laugh: "Always saying yes to the kids."

YOUR ROLE MODEL:

“My kids. My kids saved my life. My kids help me grow as a person, as a man, as a father.” For inspiration he looks to leaders Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., former Chicago Mayor Harold Washington and former President Barack Obama.

WHAT YOU HOPE YOUR KIDS SAY ABOUT YOU:

One already thinks he’s president, another thinks he’s famous, he says. “I would hope that my children say I love my dad, I love the work that my dad is doing. My dad is making a difference. My dad is always helping people. It’s something I hear them say now.”

FAVORITE THING TO DO IN CHICAGO:

Packing up the kids on the weekend and exploring something new. He says he values creating family memories and especially loves nature trails and zoos. “Nature gives me peace.”

A Mother’s ourney

BY TAMARA L. O’SHAUGHNESSY PHOTOS PROVIDED BY ASHLEY HOWARD-HEIMBUCH

Her word for this year: Survive.

And what Ashley Howard-Heimbuch discov ered about herself this year — and throughout her and her husband Alex’s IVF journey to build the family of their dreams — is that she’s more resilient than she ever thought possible, that she can, in fact, survive all the highs and lows that come with becoming a family.

A story of hope, loss, sorrow and a ‘crazy, heartbreaking, beautiful, joyous’ quest to create a happy family

Lessons learned:

Perfect parenting is impossible and sometimes good enough is enough. Treat each day with fresh eyes and enthusiasm, regardless how yesterday went.

Remembering there is beauty in the simplest things. When I see my kids kiss the flowers in our yard or how jumping on the bed brings such joy to their faces or how they close their eyes and smile when we drive with the windows down, it’s all daily reminders to slow down and enjoy the little things.

You can expect days of high highs and low lows.

There will be times where you feel like you are more powerful than the fiercest lion, and times when you feel like a tiny, scared mouse scurrying around with no place to hide.

Some days you can conquer the world, other days it’ll be a struggle to get out of bed.

You are going to want to scream, to kick, to cry. My advice is to scream, kick AND cry.

At some point you are going to get stung, feel lost, feel like your world is ending. It’s not. Harness that broken ness and turn it into purpose. Each dead end is a chance to start down a new road; you won’t realize it but the new path has prettier scenery.

You are going to compare your journey to the women around you. It’s only natural and completely under standable. But remember, a flower does not think of competing with the flower next to it. It just blooms.

More than anything, remember you are capable, strong, worthy and so deserving. Keep that on repeat. I am capable. I am strong. I am worthy. I am deserving.

A Mother’s ourney

It hasn’t been easy, this journey to motherhood. She’s had to learn to stop comparing herself to others, allow herself to be vulnerable and to tune out those negative thoughts and loud voices of others that threatened to derail her.

She hopes her story is one not only of survival, but one that empowers other families to trust themselves in their own parenting journey and lets them know they are not alone.

“We are going to have really good days and really bad days and days when we feel we were wildly successful and days when we feel like I’m just happy they are still breathing. Just surviving is good enough. Sometimes good enough is enough,” she says.

The journey so far

A zero percent chance of getting pregnant on their own.

That’s what Ashley and Alex heard in early 2018 when they were ready to start their fami ly. Scar tissue crushed around both fallopian tubes after reconstruction of her bowels courtesy of ulcerative colitis long before she met Alex. A 100 percent blockage.

In vitro fertilization, or IVF, was their only hope.

Like many couples, they started out naively, she says now, not understanding that all fertility clinics are not created equal.

Their first IVF cycle spring 2018: two embryos transferred. They learned the Chicago clinic was not for them.

Two more cycles at a new Chicago clinic: five more embryos transferred. A positive pregnancy test,

followed immediately by a loss. How could they not be lucky enough to have a baby out of seven embryos, Ashley remembers thinking. They felt depleted.

A move from Chicago to Detroit to be closer to her family and a fourth cycle with no transfer.

A fifth cycle: Doctors discovered a benign tumor they suspected caused the losses.

A sixth cycle: Pregnant with twins — River and Brooks! An incarcerated uterus discovered before she delivered saw her body sliced apart to save their boys and left her in the hospital for a month, battered and suffering from PTSD.

A seventh cycle: Pregnant with Auggie! Their little girl died at the end of the first trimester. “We thought we were out the woods and we were completely blindsided,” she says, the pain still clearly present in her voice.

An eighth cycle: Canceled days before transfer.

A ninth cycle: Pregnant with a baby boy, due in March! She’s finally at a point she says she feels she can take a breath.

It’s been a life built around injections, medications timed to the minute, doctors appointments, failure and a glimpse of hope, she admits.

“Frustration, anger, sorrow, confusion, guilt, fear, lost, broken, hope; all feelings I felt during our infertility journey. Most of them I felt simultaneously. Most of the time I felt a burden so heavy, it was as if I was sinking in quicksand, drowning in the unknowns,” she shares. “There were many days when I felt like I had lost my joy, that I had lost who I

Advice to people going through hardship, whether infertility or in motherhood:

– ASHLEY HOWARD-HEIMBUCH, Lessons learned while parenting

used to be. Some days I still feel like I’ll never get back the same person I once was.”

It’s tested their strength. It’s tested their marriage. Alex, she says, want ed to give up at times, telling her, “we can’t keep chasing heartache.”

But what if the miracle was just around the corner, the family they both so desperately want? It would be worse, she says, wondering “what could have been” than to try and it not work.

Public backlash, public love

Ashley started her Instagram account @some_assembly_required_ as a way to feed her love for photography and to document their IVF journey — a way, she says, to share one little photo in one little box and how she was feeling that day. It was just meant for herself, but before long, people connected with her words and it exploded, particularly in the IVF community.

But it hasn’t been without downsides. She’s faced backlash on how the couple parents, the choices they make, the way she looks. She says she’s even been told she’s a horrible mother.

“These people don’t know me,” she says. “They see a small snap-

Family first

Survival mode

Ashley says she’s not trying for perfection.

“Parenting is hard,” she says.

She’s struggled with a tug of emotions pulled between all of her longing for a family and admitting she’s sleep deprived and losing her mind. After the boys were born, there wasn’t the instant bond the media portrays and she expected, too. No one, she says, talks about the struggle it can be. She’s figuring things out as she goes, she says.

“I’ve realized you can be grateful but also struggling,” she says.

It can be hard work, this parenting thing.

She’s thankful she has a great support system in her mom and Alex, whom she describes as a complete natural at being a dad.

For other parents with infertility, she says she’s not going to be a Pollyanna with the “If I can do it, you can too” line that no one wants to hear. Her advice: Do what you feel is right and ignore the other loud voices in the room telling you otherwise.

“It’s been such a battle; it’s been such a long road. I prayed for the willpower to keep praying. I ached for more aches so we were one step closer. We hit rock bottom and dug ourselves out of the trenches. We embraced the ugly every single day. Each morning I woke up, put one foot in front of the other, determined to find answers.

shot daily into our lives. That’s been harder for me. I thought I would have thicker skin. I know that I am not that person but having people think I am has been very difficult.”

To those who question their choic es to keep going, particularly after so

much loss and two healthy little boys and another on the way, Ashley sim ply says this: “We’re building what makes us feel complete and that’s the most important thing. We’re doing what’s right for us and it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks.”

I had a willingness to turn every stone, unwilling to lose my hope. That’s something I’m really proud of, that I always kept my hope.”

Follow Ashley’s story on Instagram @some_assembly_ required_

To be intentional and thoughtful with my words, tones and actions. Playing on their level and praising them, even for simple things, is so important for their growth and mindset.

Happy Holidays?

It’s been a crazy few years and the holidays can really pile on the stress. Squeeze out the most joy by focusing on what really matters, keeping expectations reasonable and starting new traditions.

BY CORTNEY FRIES

rom the time we start talking turkey until we bid 2022 adieu, it can be a hectic couple of months that are supposed to be the most magical time of the year. Whether you like doing all the yam things or you’d rather peace out with some pie, we’re here to help you cultivate the most joy amidst the season. Experts and parents share their best tips for keeping holidays and mindsets calm and bright despite the chaos.

Keep expectations in check

Scrolling past next-level charcuterie boards on social media (not to mention the new trending butter boards) and seeing endless ads for toys and gifts, parents and kids are bombarded with images of picture-perfect celebrations.

Dr. Bethany Cook, licensed clinical psychologist and Chicago mom of two, suggests limiting your intake as it unconsciously impacts how you feel about the holiday season.

“There’s so much pressure for those magic moments,” she says. “Don’t force it.” Taking the most choreographed family photos doesn’t necessarily correlate to the warmest memories. And if the turkey burns, don’t let it turn into a nightmare.

Dr. John Hughes, psychotherapist and founder of the Chicago Center for Relational Health, suggests allowing the reality exist that we can’t ensure the holidays will always be joyful. “You can set intentions to focus on thankfulness, togetherness, connection and peace,” he says. “But a good part of parenting is allowing for a whole range of emotional experiences, both for you and your family.”

While joy can be a big part of the holiday season, it can’t be guaranteed.

Reframe stress to cultivate joy

Although the rush of buying gifts, attending parties and planning travel all around the same time can be anxiety-inducing, remember these are for festive celebrations.

Dr. Asha Shajahan says reframing our minds around the idea of joy as opposed to stress can completely change the vibe.

While some of us might get overwhelmed trying to find the ideal gift for everyone on our lists and decking our halls with holiday décor, Shajahan encourages embracing imperfection. “The gift doesn’t have to be perfect, it’s the love behind it,” she says. “The party doesn’t

have to be flawless, it’s the gathering of loved ones that makes it so special.”

When we welcome the chaos, the joy comes.

Make new traditions that work for you

Family traditions are wonderful, but you can take an updated spin on them. It’s been a tough few years, so do what’s best for your crew. “You don’t have to do all the things you used to do, like dress up and make all the food,” says Dr. Riana Anderson, assistant professor at the University of Michigan, who is on leave as a Stanford Fellow at the Center for Advanced Study of Behavioral Sciences. “Make it a pajama year and order delivery service.” Change traditions and initiate new ones. Simple things, such as reading the same book the night before the holiday or baking pies together, can be the most memorable.

Cook encourages people to add a new holi day tradition or keep one they created during COVID. She and her family incorporated a piñata into their Christmas celebration. “It doesn’t cost a lot of money,” she says. “But it reminds us that we survived COVID.”

Put gratitude on center stage

Experts suggest keeping a gratitude jar to help your family reflect and appreciate what you do have. “Write things you are thankful for, such as things other family members have done, which you might not normally talk about, then read them together,” Cook says. This helps spread warm feelings of appreciation and increases joy. “Gratitude focuses on a positive mindset and, when practiced regularly, can block negative emotions," Shajahan says.

Prevent grandparents from over-giving

Grandparents may want to spoil their grandchildren with piles of endless presents. But the brightly colored, noisy clutter can stress parents out and contradict the values they are trying to impart on their children. Plus, research shows that the availability of fewer toys encourages kids to play more creatively because they focus and become more imaginative with what they have.

How do you prevent grandparents from going overboard? Anderson suggests providing a list of gifts you are interested in as a family. Say, “Feel free to pick one, so we

Daily Delights

Sprinkle little bits of joy throughout the holiday season with our first-ever email advent calendar. Sign up by scanning the QR code and we'll send you a daily email treat with simple ways to remind you why you love this season. You'll find ideas to give back, reminders to slow down and four chances to win prizes! Here's a sneak peek at the first five days:

Choose a family to adopt this season.

tickets to Amaze Light Festival.

Name 5 things that made you proud in 2022.

Go on a nature hunt.

Have a holiday movie night!

Holidays?

Smiles Delivered

FOR THE KID WHO LOVES Science & Tech

National Geographic Explorer Series Microscope

Featuring a 400x zoom and designed for younger kids, their scientific curiosity will be ignited as they get an up-close look at prepared plant and mineral slides, plus limitless blank slides. Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Target, Saks Fifth Avenue (about $35)

Kid Made Modern Arts & Crafts Supply Library

Your little one’s creative juices will runneth over with this old-school kit of more than 1,000 vibrant pieces perfect for crafts, including Popsicle sticks, googly eyes, sequins and beads — all in an easy carrying case. Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Bloomingdales, Michael’s (about $40)

Osmo Creative Starter Kit

Discover gifts, experiences and in-their-honor donation ideas that tap into whatever it is that sparks joy in your little one.

BY PARIS GILES

FOR THE KID WHO LOVES Animals & Nature

Melissa & Doug Veterinarian Role Play Costume Dress-Up Set

This portable brain-teasing puzzle game features more than 200 2D and 3D challenges — from pretty easy to in furiating — designed to mold your kid’s problem-solving and critical-thinking skills. Amazon, Walmart (about $14)

Help aspiring vets get into character with this playtime costume, complete with scrubs, a mask, cap, talking stethoscope, syringe, name tag, thermometer, bandage and a cute stuffed dog. Amazon, Target, Walmart (about $30)

Snap Circuits Explore Coding Kit

With the help of an accompanying free app, your tech-interested kid will be guided through more than 30 electronic coding projects, like building and controlling circuits for lights, fans and sirens. Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Macy’s, Walmart (about $60)

Encourage that future illustrator with this interactive kit that works with an iPad or Fire Tablet and allows little artists to see their doodles on screen, receive real-time feedback and solve visual puzzles. Amazon, Best Buy, Target, Walmart (about $56)

Clemens Habicht 540 Colors Sphere 3D Sphere Jigsaw Puzzle

Gift them with enrollment in a STEM-focused summer camp

Plan a special day out together to visit to the Museum of Science and Industry

Donate to a science-based nonprofit in your child’s name Consider Girls Who Code, which aims to increase the number of women in computer science. girlswhocode.com

Gift them enrollment in an art class

Plan a special day out that includes a new exhibit at a local museum or gallery

Donate to an arts nonprofit in your child’s name. Consider Art Feeds, where they curate art lessons for home and school that help kids deal with tough feelings and situations. artfeeds.org

Help your kid up the ante on traditional puzzles with this 3D rainbow-colored globe featuring 540 ombre hues. Uncommon Goods ($70)  Organize a scavenger hunt around your home or neighborhood chockfull of riddles and brain teasers. Gift them a night to invite their friends over for a snack-filled game-night extravaganza

Donate to a games-focused nonprofit in your child’s name. Consider Child’s Play, which donates toys and games to children’s hospitals and domestic violence shelters. childsplaycharity.org

Microsculpture: Portraits of Insects Book

Your nature lover is guaranteed to be enthralled by this book from photographer

Levon Biss featuring vivid images created by digitally combining 8,000 individual photographs. Amazon, Barnes & Noble (about $40)

Gift them a special day out that includes a visit to a botanical garden or wildlife conservatory.

Provide enrollment in a class to learn all about foraging or a nature-focused summer camp.

Donate to a nature or animal welfare nonprofit in your child’s name Consider the Animal Welfare Institute, which seeks to alleviate the suffering of animals, tackling everything from factory farming to scientific research. awionline.org

FOR THE KID WHO LOVES Arts & Crafts  FOR THE KID WHO LOVES Games & Puzzles

Educational Insights Kanoodle 3D Brain Teaser Puzzle Game

FOR THE KID WHO LOVES

Cooking & Food

Best Choice Products Farmhouse Play Kitchen

For the chefin-the-making, consider this super stylish play kitchen set that parents won’t mind leaving out.

It features a chalkboard for recipes, pre tend utensils and plenty of storage. Am azon, Target, Walmart (about $70)

The Cookie Cups Pizza Making Kit

Your kid will beg to get in the kitchen when you gift them with this 12-piece pizza making kit, complete with all the tools and in gredients needed to make a 12-inch pizza from scratch. Am azon, Walmart (about $34)

Gift them with enrollment in a cooking class

Plan a special day out together that includes the restaurant of their choice and a visit to a farmers market or specialty store for ingredients to make something unique at home. Donate to a food-focused nonprofit. Consider No Kid Hungry, which works to end childhood food insecurity through school meals, grants, advocacy, research and more. nokidhungry.org

don’t all give the same thing.” Parameters early on can help grandparents help you.

Shajahan suggests asking family members to contribute to a child’s college fund or to purchase an experience, such as music or sports lessons or an outing together. “This will avoid numerous gifts under the tree but still allow grandparents to see the joy of the gift year-round.”

Christine Zwolinski, who shares her family fun on Instagram @thechicagogoodlife, says her family has been following the three gift rule — something they want, something they need and something to read. “The categories help us with budgeting,” she says. “Plus, it encourages the kids to prioritize what they really want.”

Zwolinski’s family is big into experience gifts because they create special memories. “Last year’s gift to our grandmas was having a mother-daughter Teddy Bear Tea Time at Hotel Zachary,” she says. “We all had so much fun and my daughter still talks about it.”

Prepare for stress triggers

“Remember that stress is a normal, perhaps unavoidable, part of the holidays and family gatherings,” Hughes saysw.

Shajahan recommends verbally naming your stress triggers and preparing solutions for dealing with them. For example, if a certain family member pushes your buttons, how will you handle your reaction? What will you do to calm yourself?

“Set boundaries and stick to them,” Zwolinski says. Explain ahead of time what your limits are. Zwolinski says things like, “Hey, can’t wait to see you all over the holidays. I’ve been really stressed/ worried about and would love to make it an off-limits topic.”

It’s not easy to communicate boundaries to extended family members and friends. But Cook encourages parents to stand up for things they feel strongly about, such as having your children wake up in their own home on the holiday if that’s important to you.

Address loneliness

According to a 2021 Harvard study, 61% of young adults and 51% of mothers with young children feel “serious loneliness.” Whether there’s physi cal distance between you and your family or your relationships aren’t quite as close as you hope, the holidays can usher in waves of loneliness.

“One of the biggest unspoken challenges of the holiday season is that it can be incredibly lonely,” Hughes says. The most important thing is to let those you love know how you feel. While it might seem awkward, ask if you can make plans. If you’re

unable to see friends and family in-person, leverage technology such as Zoom, FaceTime and WhatsApp.

It works both ways. If you know someone who is likely to feel lonely, be proactive and invite them to be included, even if it’s to share a meal over Zoom. “You can be in the room with others and still feel lonely,” Cook says. Create your own experiences on your own terms and invite your chosen family.

“Turn something small into a “party,” even if it’s just you and someone else,” Zwolinski says. “Dress up, make a fancy dinner at home, open gifts together via FaceTime, do something that makes you happy! Although those lonely feelings might not totally disappear, you are creating new holidays memories in a different way, which might help.”

If you don’t feel comfortable telling those you know how you feel, you can reach out to the Crisis Text Line. Text HOME to 741741 and a Crisis Counselor will respond 24/7.

Achieve a “helping high”

“People who volunteer experience a helping high, which benefits them, too,” Cook says. Shovel walk ways, take cookies to neighbors or write letters to the military or children in cancer units. “Remember the reason for the season,” Anderson says. Embrace the spirit of giving, whether it’s volunteering at soup kitchens or giving gifts to families in need.

Shajahan recommends delivering meals to the homeless or visiting nursing homes. “Spend time with people who will be over-joyed to have your company,” she says. If you don’t feel like dealing with people, Cook says pets can make you feel appreciated without all the complications of humans. Volunteer at a pet shelter or perhaps adopt your own furry friend.

Select causes that are important to your family. Cook and her partner provide a budget that their children can divvy up to different charities. The kids decide how much goes to therapy dogs, helping the blind or the LGBTQ community, for example.

Reflect on good times and bad

“One reason memories become special is the stories that are talked about afterwards,” Cook says. Relive festive moments later by discussing them at dinner, in the car or before bed.

Not only does Shajahan recommend reflecting on all the blessings you have received over the year, but also the difficult times. “Focus on how you grew from the tough moments and appreciate those who were there for you during them,” she says. Practicing compassion and empathy for others is also a big endorphin booster.

Find the best holiday activities to bring your family joy at ChicagoParent.com/LatestIssue.

Things To Do

Nov. 3-6 • Rosemont Jurassic World Live Tour

See more than 24 life-sized dinosaurs. 7 p.m. Thursday-Friday and 11 a.m., 3 and 7 p.m. Saturday-Sunday. $20plus. Allstate Arena. jurassicworldlivetour.com.

FREE Nov. 19 • Chicago

Begins Nov. 3 • Chicago

Nov. 11Jan. 8 • Glencoe

The Tortoise and the Hare

Enjoy a one-hour musical for ages 2-10 with colorful costumes and sing-alongs. 10:30 a.m. weekdays, 1 p.m. Saturdays. $15-$20. Stahl Family Theatre. chicagokidscompany.com.

Lightscape

See thousands of twinkling lights and a reimagined fire garden. 4:30-11 p.m. Check holiday hours. $30-$32/adults, $14-$16/ages 3-12, free/2 and under. Chicago Botanic Garden. chicagobotanic.org.

Nov. 19-Dec.

24 • Chicago

The Wintrust Magnificent Mile Lights Festival

Watch as Grand Marshals Mickey Mouse & Minnie Mouse illuminate the city. Noon-8 p.m. Michigan Avenue. themagnificentmile.com.

The Beatrix Potter Holiday Tea Party

Enjoy an interactive trunk and puppet show for ages 2-6. 9:30 and 11:30 a.m. Saturdays-Sundays. $43.25. Chicago Children’s Theater. chicagochildrenstheatre.com.

Nov. 19Jan. 1 • Chicago

Nov. 12-13 • Wheaton

Native American Pow Wow Dive into Native American culture with dancing, drumming and cultural activities. 11 a.m.-10 p.m. Saturday, 11 a.m.-6 p.m. Sunday. $15/adults, $7/ kids 3-12, free/under 3. DuPage Coun ty Fairgrounds. midwestsoarring.org.

FREE Nov. 24Dec. 31 • Naperville

ZooLights

See a twinkling winter wonderland. 4:30-10 p.m. $5/Tuesdays-Sundays, free/Mondays; fees for additional encounters and activities. Lincoln Park Zoo. lpzoo.org.

Naper Lights

Put on a pair of 3D glasses for a magical holiday lights celebration. 4-10 p.m. Downtown Naperville. naperlights.com.

Nov. 16Jan. 4 • Chicago

Christmas Around the World and Holidays of Light

See the four-story Grand Tree surrounded by more than 50 other trees. 9:30 a.m.-4 p.m. Free w/museum admission. Museum of Science and Industry. msichicago.org.

Nov. 25-27, Dec. 1-4, 7-11, 14-18, 26-31 • Brookfield

Dec. 3-27 • Chicago

Holiday Magic Marvel at more than two million twinkling lights. Advanced tickets required. 3-9 p.m. Brookfield Zoo. czs.org.

The Joffrey Ballet’s The Nutcracker

FREE Begins Nov. 18 •  Chicago (two locations), Aurora

Christkindlmarket

Embrace the season at this traditional German holiday market, at Daley Plaza, Gallagher Way and now at RiverEdge Park in Aurora. Hours, vendors and activities vary at each location. christkindlmarket.com.

Journey to Chicago’s 1893 World’s Fair with the telling of this holiday masterpiece. Times vary. $36-plus. Lyric Opera House. joffrey.org.

Dec. 18 • Lisle Magic of Chanukah

Join JUF Young Families to celebrate the lights, sounds and miracle of Chanukah at the Morton Arboretum’s Illumination Festival. 3:30-5:30 p.m. $36/family. JUF.org/youngfamilies.

Jurassic World Live Tour

The Joffrey Ballet’s The Nutcracker Photo by Todd Rosenberg

Bust the Ho-Hum

Try some amazing new things with your family

BY KARI ZAFFARANO

Looking for something new and exciting to do with your family? Then check out one of the immersive experiences or head to Notebaert Nature Museum for some outdoor fun indoors. Your kids are going to thank you (or at least we hope they do!).

NATURE’S PLAYSPACE

Now open

Kids ages 1-7 will love this new naturethemed immersive play area, which has more than 25 interactives in the 3,050-square-foot colorful space. The $4 million project’s goal is to connect Peggy Notebaert Nature Museum’s youngest visitors to nature and represents the largest investment in two decades at the museum. The play areas are modeled after Illinois habitats, with water tables, a largerthan-life bird nest, beaver lodge and a treehouse with a river slide, among other fun. 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Free w/ museum admission: $9/adult, $6/child, free/under 3. naturemuseum.org.

HARRY POTTER: MAGIC AT PLAY

Opens Nov. 11

This experience is full of hands-on magical interactivity for all ages that celebrate Harry’s journey in the wizarding world. Families will be immersed in Harry’s story from 4 Privet Drive to Hogwarts classes to try mastering “Wingardium Leviosa,” exploring the Potions dungeon and fending off Cornish Pixies in Defense Against the Dark Arts to practicing Quidditch and traversing the Forbidden Forest. Times vary. $42.50/adult, $34/ child ages 3-9, free/under 2. Water

Tower Place, Chicago. A gift shop is available for nonticketholders to get their Harry fix. harrypottermagicatplay.com.

SLOOMOO INSTITUTE Opens Nov. 18

This new immersive experience for all ages combines the beauty of contemporary art and the fun of slime. Get a behind-the-scenes tour of the “slime kitchen” and play in the neverending hand-made colorful slime. $48. Sloomoo Institute Chicago. sloomooinstitute.com.

THE IMMERSIVE NUTCRACKER: A WINTER MIRACLE

Nov. 19-Dec. 31

See immersive projections and special effects, meet a life-sized Nutcracker, have photo ops and more. Times vary. $30-plus. Lighthouse ArtSpace Chicago. immersive-nutcracker.com.

AMAZE LIGHT FESTIVAL

Nov. 20-Jan. 8

This hugely popular immersive storybook light experience gets even bigger this year. The lights festival comes alive every half hour with animated trees and performances. 4-10 p.m. $36/adult, $30/child. Odyssey Fun World, Tinley Park. amazelightfestival.com/chicago.

Harry Potter Magic at Play Quidditch Space Rendering Photo courtesy of Superfly X

Nature’s PlaySpace Photo courtesy of Notebaert Nature Museum

Sloomoo Institute Photo courtesy of Carol Fox & Associates

Retiring the Elf

Elf on the Shelf alternatives for tired moms

BY STEFFY MCCOURT

It was 12 years ago when I was pregnant with my oldest son that I received a mischievous little present who would one day come to be known as “Elfie.” He arrived in an unassuming package labeled “Elf on the Shelf.”

The idea was a sweet one: an elf was sent by Santa to watch over the children on Dec. 1 and he would fly away on Dec. 24 to report to Santa about how the children behaved. The only thing a parent would need to do is move the elf around the house each night after the children fell asleep.

Three children later, and with all the hope and best intentions that the season brings, Elfie would arrive on Dec. 1 and sometimes shuffle around our house, but more often than not, my husband and I would spend our creative energies weaving stories about why Elfie did not move. Elfie was tired. Elfie was sick. Elfie was lazy. Ugh.

To compound the guilt we felt, other people’s social media pages filled up our feed with outrageous situations that their family’s elves got into. Elves partying with Barbies, pooping Hershey Kisses and bringing friends to the house for the siblings and pets.

I decided Elfie wasn’t for us. He was bringing more negative energy to our home than positive. It was time for Elfie to retire.

I turned to Google and found relief: there were others like me.

That year Elfie came with a note. The boys had passed the test; they were clearly well-behaved and would remain on Santa’s “Good List” if they continued doing their chores and being kind to each other.

Today there are so many alternatives to Elf on the Shelf. If you find yourself in the position that we were, here is a little list to get you started:

The Giving Manger: It comes with a book, a manger, straw and a baby Jesus. Someone in the family adds a straw to the manger every time they do an act of kindness or observe a family member do one. Each Sunday of Advent we would share our kindnesses and add the straw. Easy, peasy. It kept the holiday simple and focused on gratitude and good deeds. thegivingmanger.com

Reindeer in Here: This is a good one! It has won 12 major awards and is set to be turned into a one-hour cartoon to air Nov. 29. The message: Everyone is unique in their own special way and let’s appreciate diversity. The reindeer arrives after Thanksgiving as an early present from Santa to go with your child on daily adventures. reindeerinhere.com

North Pole Ninjas: Mission Christmas: If this had been around 11 years ago, my three boys would be all over it. We could have reused their ninja costumes to complete the 50 top secret kindness missions that come with the book to celebrate the spirit of the holiday. amazon.com

The Kindness Elves: Elf on the Shelf, but a kinder variation. These little elves arrive at the start of the season and encourage your children to do small acts of kindness. The kit is pricey, but it includes absolutely everything you need.

theimaginationtree.com

Mensch on a Bench: This Hanukkah tradition is meant to help teach the importance of the holiday while Moshe the Mensch and his family try to inspire others to be honorable Mensches themselves during the holiday season.

themenschonabench.com

Find Elf on the Shelf trickery ideas at ChicagoParent.com /LatestIssue.

Embrace (or Ditch) the Brrrr

Family-friendly sun and snow getaways to plan this year

BY CORTNEY FRIES

VAIL, COLORADO

With winter school breaks coming up, it’s time to plan your winter getaways! Whether sunshine is calling you to the beach or snow is beckoning you to play, we’ve got three ideas for your next family vacation.

Beautiful Vail Mountain opens for its 60th winter season Nov. 11. Experience the energy and excitement of skiing and snowboarding at one of the largest ski resorts in the world, 100 miles west of Denver. With more than 5,000 skiable acres, more than 300 days of sunshine per year and alpine-inspired ski villages with heated cobblestone streets and delicious eats, it’s easy to fall in love with the snowy season here.

New and upgraded high-speed chairlifts connect legendary back bowls to shopping and dining at Lionshead Village. Spread out in an Antlers at Vail condo with views of the mountain, steamy hot tubs and fully equipped kitchens. If you prefer not to cook, freshly prepared chef meals, like hearty stews and veggie quiches, can be delivered to your room. Family-friendly amenities include bunk bed rooms, babysitting recommendations and board games.

Deca + Bol is a fabulous place to eat, bowl and ice skate. Blue Moose Pizza is popular with families, as is Rimini for gelato and crepes.

FLORIDA’S SPACE COAST

On the east coast of Central Florida, the Space Coast is home to Kennedy Space Center, Cocoa Beach (the closest beach to Orlando) and Port Ca naveral, where many cruise ships depart. With highs in the upper 70s during November and December days, families will welcome the warmth.

A visit to Kennedy Space Center is brimming with inspiration. From roaming the Rocket Garden to feeling the G-force in a simulated Shuttle Launch Experience, the films and displays demonstrate how hard work and ingenuity can make us boundless.

For a majestic experience, book a bioluminescent

night kayak trip. Prehistoric comb jellies glitter the water with a blue-green glow in the cooler winter months. Kids will cherish staying up late, paddling under the stars and being surrounded by wonder.

Westgate Cocoa Beach Pier is a fun place to dine and hang out 800 feet over the Atlantic Ocean. Listen to live music, stop by the gift shops, play volleyball on the beach or watch some of the best surfing on the East Coast. Stay at the Hampton Inn & Suites Cape Canaveral Cruise Port for an outdoor pool, free hot breakfast and pet-friendly rooms.

EAU CLAIRE, WISCONSIN

While winter may cause some to hibernate, a visit to Eau Claire, Wisconsin, offers the exhilaration of frigid fun as well as a plethora of indoor family activities. Eau Claire is one of three Wintermission cities dedicated to inspiring outdoor winter activities with a gear sharing program that enables you to rent snowshoes, ice fishing materials, hockey sticks, broomball sets and more. You can sled, fat tire bike, ice skate, play Crokicurl (a game similar to curling) or watch an international ski jump competition.

Stay at the Metropolis Resort, where kids can splash in slides and pools at Chaos Water Park, bounce at a 30,000-square-foot Trampoline Park and zoom around the largest indoor go-kart track in the Midwest. Choose from double queen rooms, family bunk rooms with five beds or the Las Vegas suite, which sleeps eight.

The Nucleus is a delicious breakfast cafe you’ll want to eat at every day. Savor craft burgers at Valley Burger Company. Stroll around downtown Eau Claire to take in the largest free sculpture tour in the U.S. and the bridges aglow at night.

Space Shuttle Atlantis Orbiter

Vail Holiday Skating Photo courtesy of Jack Affleck

Logan Square

Spend a day out as a family in one of Chicago’s most colorful historic neighborhoods

BY CHERYL LEAHY

One of the first things you notice about Logan Square in Chicago is the beautifully manicured boulevards that traverse through the neighborhood. These boulevards hold incredible historic significance — they were part of a 26-mile planned greenway system that connected parks and encouraged real estate development along the outskirts of the city. The boulevards were meant to be “linear parks” where residents and visitors could ride horses and promenade on a Sunday afternoon. The boulevards are famous for their majestic graystones — homes built with gray Indiana limestone. Current-day Logan Square is a Mecca of accessible art, rich Latin culture and diverse culinary creations.

EAT

ANDROS TAVERNA

2542 N. MIlwaukee Ave., Chicago

Nestled near the Illinois Centennial Monument, Andros Taverna was recently named one of the Best New Restaurants in America. Don’t let this deter you from bringing the kids though; they have a menu for the littles! Make sure to order the octopus and expect your children’s eyes to widen at the sight of this visually stunning and stunningly delicious dish. Pro tip: order the honeyed crispy kataifi cheese pie for dessert. The husband-and-wife team behind Andros create an elegant yet comfortable atmosphere. Brunch is an affair to remember, where sweet and savory live in perfect harmony.

SHOP

CITY LIT

2523 N. Kedzie Blvd., Chicago

Bring your furry friends to this dog-friendly independent bookstore! They have a keen focus on children’s literature, so your child can peruse a carefully curated section with everything from YA, middle grade, early readers and picture books. The event schedule is rich with local authors, poetry salons and numerous book clubs. Stephanie, the owner, is a former librarian and loves to connect readers of all ages to the perfect book.

PLAY THE LOGAN THEATRE

2646 N. Milwaukee Ave., Chicago

For more than a century, this theater has served the community as Logan Square developed around it.

Thanks to rounds of renovations, the original plaster work, stained glass and marble walls allow patrons to fully experience the glamor of the early 1900s theater experience. Film festivals, open mic nights, private birthday parties and more are hosted here, as well as daily movies of all genres. Ticket prices have remained low, making a night at the movies more accessible.

EXPLORE

MURALS

Find more reasons to visit Logan Square at ChicagoParent.com /LatestIssue.

GETTING THERE

Logan Square is a northwestern neigh borhood of Chicago, with Milwaukee Ave nue cutting through it diagonally. The area is accessible by the Blue Line (Logan Square stop), the Healy station on Metra’s Milwaukee District North line, and buses #56 and #76.

Logan Square has a plethora of unique murals dotted throughout the community. From portraits to collages, cartoons to gentrification controversy, there are so many stories behind these public works of art. One of the most famous is the “Greetings from Chicago” mural, at 2226 N. Milwaukee Ave. Another must see is the Robin Williams mural, a stunning depiction of the late comedian surrounded by a laughing Genie, the character he famously voiced in Disney’s Aladdin

Photo courtesy of Andros Taverna

Chicago Mural

City Lit

DAETTE LAMBERT is a mom of three who lives in Homewood with her husband and works in Chicago’s Hyde Park. She loves reading, impromptu conversations and getting things done.

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ART BY LAINEY YEHL