Paul Heiney

The joy of needlecraft has been somewhat lost on Paul after an attempt to stitch together a rudimentary canvas cover ends in much bloodshed

Excuse the brown smears down the page but those mudcoloured streaks were once my own rich red life’s to be charged for what appeared to be the simplest of jobs. I now know better. Make no mistake, canvas workers are artists. But more than that, they are a kind of engineer too. I once blood. I have been having a go had a cockpit cover made by at sewing, hence ruddy drips some Royal Navy lads who were from punctured finger ends. professional canvas workers,

Apparently, sewing is the made redundant, and trying to new baking when it comes to make a few bob out of yotties. I top rating television. What told them how much I admired they get up to with a bit of their work, the perfect nature of cloth and a needle leaves me in the fit and the elegance of curves. awe. I mean, they can actually One said, ‘Yep, we used to make sew in a straight line! You all the canvas covers for nuclear should see mine; like a dog reactors on submarines.’ I bet piddling in the snow was how they were the best clothed bits someone described them. of nuclear kit in the world.

I don’t ask a lot of my I’ve had some successes in my sewing. All I want is a canvas flap, amateur attempts at needlework; with a window in it, to hang over the hatchway on what seem to be ‘What they get up to with I replaced all my lee cloths which were getting grubby, but if you those very rare occasions when I’m sailing with a following wind. cloth and a needle leaves me think about it a lee cloth is all straight lines and anyone falling

A stiff breeze up the chuff of a in awe. They can actually exhausted into their bunk is boat is a fine thing, a skipper’s dream come true, except for sew in a straight line!’ not going to moan about a bit of a wiggle in the stitching, so those below who complain of I don’t claim a lot of skill for living in a wind tunnel. Worse, when it rains as well having achieved that. But this hatchway cover I’m as blows, and chilly droplets drive below with the trying to make is going to be stared at for hours on force of bullets, and for some inexplicable reason end by whoever is on watch, and given that most they don’t seem to like that either. So, anything to people I seem to sail with greatly enjoy pointing keep the peace. Out must come the sewing machine. out this skipper’s deficiencies, I will surely have

My machine’s a beauty, built to stitch sails and, my leg pulled till it is about to part at the knee. judging by the strength of it, designed by the makers I suppose that sewing canvas to a high standard of the Sherman tank. I bought it from a chap who is just one more of those jobs that is rightly best swore he’d sewn himself a new genoa, but that seems left to professionals, but which we deluded boat beyond the realms of possibility since it doesn’t owners think we can do just as well, and cheaper. look big enough to hem a tablecloth. However, there We think we can be master electricians, engineers, are ways of getting fat chunks of canvas through a plumbers, ready to attack any job as if we know what modest sized machine, as I was to find out, and I set we’re doing, and only picking up the phone to call off with enthusiasm to learn the tricks of the trade. the bloke who really knows how to do the job when

The truth is that there aren’t many secrets to canvas working that can’t be learned by doing the job day in and day out for twenty years or so. I’ve watched HAVE YOUR SAY we’ve already caused more damage in the process. Self sufficiency on a boat is a good thing. There ought to be few breakages or failures that you can’t canvas workers as they mark out, cut, sew, add zips Have you encountered exceptional service cope with when you are at sea with no immediate and in no time at all create as result as tailored as at a marina? help at hand. But when you’re alongside and anything that came from Saville Row. Which is why facebook.com/ just at the head of the pontoon is a workshop it was deeply foolish of me to believe for a single sailingtoday with some real skills ready for the asking, it is minute that I could pick it up in no time at all and @sailingtodaymag sometimes better to admit that there are tasks on save myself a pocket full of quids which I seemed sailingtoday.co.uk a boat which are jobs too far. Like sewing.

ILLUSTRATION: CLAIRE WOOD