Independent School Parent Prep Spring 2014 by The Chelsea Magazine Company

PREP EDITION ÞSPRING 2014 Þ www.independentschoolparent.com

INSIDE...

P 43

Choir schools Hitting the right note

P 82

Christian Horner My school days COMPETITION

WIN a luxury family holiday!

Studying science on the Jurassic Coast The importance of good grammar The benefits of boarding

HAPPY DAYS!

Why girls think school is cool

PLUS... HEADS & THEIR HOBBIES... PERFECT CHILDREN HAVE PROBLEMS TOO

LUXURY FAMILY HOLIDAYS WILDLIFE SPOTTING UNDER THE SEA

See dolphins soaring through the sea in the Maldives or turtles coming in to nest at midnight in Oman.

MONKEY-ING AROUND

Imagine enjoying your breakfast in Borneo on a jungle canopy and being joined by an inquisitive Orangutan.

ELEPHANT ENCOUNTERS

Help to bathe and feed endangered elephants, kayak through mangroves and sleep in a luxury floating tent in Thailand.

LEARN A NEW SKILL SPORTS CAMPS

From tennis and football to cricket we can offer professional (sometimes celebrity) coaching in the Caribbean or Mediterranean.

THE WILD WEST

Learn all the skills you need to be a cowboy/girl including horse riding, penning, fishing and all-important marshmallow roasting.

COOKING UP A TREAT

Children can don aprons, learn to cook dishes like pizza and enjoy their delicious work in the Indian Ocean or Mediterranean.

FAMILY ADVENTURES FLY-DRIVE JOURNEYS

Take to Americaâ€™s open road visiting iconic sights, stopping in atmospheric cities or even at a traditional ranch.

ISLAND HOPPING

Treat your teens to a trip-of-a-lifetime; from Santorini to Mykonos or Antigua to Nevis, get to know the isles in style.

PRIVATE POOLS

Ensure you have a pool just for you and your family to enjoy by booking a villa with all of the amenities of a resort.

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Contents Does your child have what it takes to be a chorister? Find out on page 42

CONTENTS Issue 9 Spring 2014 independentschoolparent.com

WIN!

family A luxury page 75! n o y a d li ho

In this first edition of the year, we kick off our curriculum feature with a subject that is already dominating the 2014 news agenda: the centenary of the start of the Great War, (page 10). The writer Charlotte Phillips was commissioned back in November, however, it’s clear that schools had forward planned and her article includes all sorts of inspiring ways that it will be remembered. It’s also the theme for our Book club (page 69), which features a round up of literary works that look back to 1914. From bee-keeping to tango dancing, our head teachers find all sorts of ways to unwind away from school life, (Heads and their Hobbies, page 52). While the story is meant to be lighthearted, the message from our Heads is clear: that it’s important to have interests outside of school and work life.

Claudia Dudman, Editor Education

Cover: Falkner House, London INSIDE...

P 43

Choir schools Hitting the right note

P 82

Christian Horner My school days

Studying science on the Jurassic Coast

COMPETITION

WIN a luxury family holiday!

The importance of good grammar The benefits of boarding

Our round-up of hot topics

10 A lesson in remembrance

Charlotte Phillips looks at the centenary of the start of the Great War

38 Folds, faults and fossils Adrian Richardson and Neil Brooks discuss Cothill’s away-day science laboratory

HAPPY DAYS!

Why girls think school is cool

PLUS... HEADS & THEIR HOBBIES... PERFECT CHILDREN HAVE PROBLEMS TOO

42 Choir schools

Jane Capon explores life at choir schools

47 Prep school baccalaureate James Barnes explains how the exam is a worthy successor to Common Entrance

57 Across the board

Comment

Charlotte Phillips reviews the latest book from parenting expert, Rosalind Wiseman

17 Only the classroom is important?

Elizabeth Cairncross extols the importance of extra-curricular activities

23 In defence of tutors

Kate Shand advocates the role tutors play

27 Grammar

Grammarian Nevile Gwynne explores the link between creativity and grammar

41 The power of quiet

Head of St Swithun’s School, Winchester, Jane Gandee, discusses the introvert child

18 Boys will be boys

25 How many friends is enough? Glynis Kozma looks at how involved parents should get in their child’s friendships

62 Perfectionist child

Thea Jourdan looks at perfectionist children

65 Bespoke adventure

The best adventure destinations

69 Book club A round up of literary works that look back to the Great War

71 Birth order

Giulia Rhodes takes a look at the effect of birth order on children

How chess aids children, writes Giulia Rhodes

School’s out

Thalia Thompson takes a look at school uniforms with a story to tell

54 Bright young things

In Focus

29 Social media safety

Win a luxury family holiday to Montenegro!

31 Home from home

49 Like father, like son

Things to do at half term

52 Heads and their hobbies

Red Bull’s Christian Horner looks back at his time at Warwick.

58 Fancy dress Follow us... Like @ISParent us on...

Life

Knighton House Prep School, Dorset

5 News

PREP EDITION ÞSPRING 2014 Þ www.independentschoolparent.com

37 Behind the scenes

How to prepare your daughter for boarding

35 Letters home

Letter writing is a useful skill, says Katie Hughes

Josephine Price checks out the stars from the independent schools sector

How to get children outdoors

Simon Milner from Facebook explains

77 What’s On

Dr Leo and Mr Stephen Winkley

82 School Memories

Our Heads reveal how they unwind

EDITORIAL Editor Claudia Dudman Art Editor Marc Walker Assistant Editor Josephine Price

CNP Ltd, Jubilee House, 2 Jubilee Place, London SW3 3TQ Tel (020) 7349 3700 Fax (020) 7349 3701 Email editor@independentschoolparent.com For website and subscriptions, please visit: independentschoolparent.com/register

www.independentschoolparent.com

73 Great games

PUBLISHING Publisher & Managing Director Paul Dobson Deputy Managing Director Steve Ross Commercial Director Vicki Gavin Media Manager James Dobson Publisher Simon Temlett Subscriptions Manager Will Delmont 020 7349 3710, will.delmont@ chelseamagazines.com Marketing Manager Chatty Dobson Production www.allpointsmedia.co.uk Printed in England by Wyndeham Heron, Essex ADVERTISING Senior Sales Executive Andy Mabbitt Sales Executives Thomas McMahon, Adam White

75 Competition

DISTRIBUTION Independent School Parent magazine is for parents of children educated in prep and senior independent schools across the UK. The prep and senior issues are published termly. Parents can subscribe for a free issue at: independentschoolparent.com/register Independent School Parent also publishes A First Eleven Guide to Independent Schools biannually. © CNP Ltd 2014. All rights reserved. Text and pictures are copyright restricted and must not be reproduced without permission from the publisher. The information contained in Independent School Parent magazine has been published in good faith and every effort has been made to ensure its accuracy. All liability for loss, negligence or damage caused by reliance on the information contained within this publication is hereby excluded. All pictures by Thinkstock unless otherwise credited.

EDITORIAL ADVISORY BOARD David Moncrieff, Chairman Tor Down, Parent James Durant, UCAS Andrew Fleck, Sedbergh School Tory Gillingham, AMDIS Rachel Kerr, Girls’ Schools Association Glynis Kozma, Educational Journalist Zoe MacDougall, Teacher Heidi Salmons, The Headmasters’ & Headmistresses’ Conference Dr Anthony Seldon, Wellington College Elaine Stallard, Elaine Stallard Consulting The Rt Hon Graham Stuart MP, Chairman of the Education Select Committee Sheila Thompson, Boarding Schools’ Association Ben Vessey, Canford School David Wellesley-Wesley, Independent Schools Show Peter Young, Marketing/Brand Consultant

SPRING 2014 INDEPENDENT SCHOOL PARENT 3

A co-educational day

A co-educational day and boarding school and boarding school

CATERHAM CATERHAM SCHOOL SCHOOL CATERHAM CATERHAM SCHOOL SCHOOL

I N S P I R I N G E D U C AT I O N F O R L I F E I N S P I R I N G E D U C AT I O N F O R L I F E

I N S P I R I N G E D U C AT I O N F O R L I F E

One One of of the the top top One of the top independent independent independent co-educational co-educational One of the top co-educational schools in schools in England England independent schools in England co-educational schools in England Entrance is selective at all ages. The closing date We strive to ensure the personal development of Entrance at all ages. The date We strive to ensure We the personal development of development Entrance is for selective at closing all13+ ages. The closing date to ensure thepotential personal of isofselective for receipt applications 11+ and is mid every pupil so they can strive achieve their full for receipt of applications for 11+ and 13+ is mid every pupil so they can achieve their full potential foryear receipt of applications every pupil so they canfor achieve potential of the preceding entry. for 11+ and 13+ is mid academically and socially in preparation their their full November of the year preceding entry. academically and socially in preparation for in their November of the year preceding entry. academically and socially preparation November for their Sixth Form applications are also welcome. life at university and beyond. We believe that a are also welcome. life at university andlife beyond. We believe that a We believe Sixth Sixth Form applications are also welcome. at university and beyond. that aForm applications significant contributor to meeting this ambition Scholarships are available and are based on assessment. signifi cant contributor to meeting this ambition signifi cant contributor meetingdevelopment this ambition Entrance is selective at alland ages. The closing date We theto personal areare available and based on assessment. Scholarships areScholarships available based on are assessment. is tostrive offer to anensure excellent all-round education in anof Families who may be eligible for fi nancial assistance is to offer an excellent all-round education in an is to offer an excellent all-round education in an Families who may be eligible for fi nancial assistance for receipt of applications for 11+ and 13+ is mid every pupil so they can achieve their full potential Families who may be eligible for fi nancial assistance inspirational learninginspirational environment. learning environment. should contact should the Registrar for aRegistrar Bursary for application inspirational environment. contact the a Bursary application November of the year preceding entry. academicallylearning and socially in preparation for their should contact the Registrar for a Bursary application form. Regular Forces Bursaries are Bursaries also available. form. Regular Forces are also available. Sixth Form applications are alsoare welcome. life at university beyond. We that a all pupils to Excellent A-leveland results enable allbelieve pupils progress form. Regular Forces Bursaries also available. Excellent A-level resultsto progress Excellent A-level results enable all pupils toenable progress is just minutes from5 the M25from (J6).the M25 (J6). signifi cant contributor to meeting this ambition The5 school is just minutes to university with 85% going to one in the top tier. to university with 85% going to one in theThe top school tier. Scholarships and are based on (J6). assessment. The school isare justavailable 5 minutes from the M25 to university with 85% going to one in the top tier. We combined run coach services from Sevenoaks, We run coach services fromEast Sevenoaks, East is tohave offeraan excellent education incombined an Weall-round havecampus a beautiful 80-acre campus and this, We beautiful 80-acre and this, Families who may be eligible for fi nancial assistance from Sevenoaks, East We have a beautiful 80-acre campus and this, combined We run coach services Grinstead, Down, Reigate, Edenbridge, Down,Crawley Reigate, Edenbridge, with extensive modernus facilities, usGrinstead, to offer a Crawley inspirational environment. with extensivelearning modern facilities, enables to offerenables a should contact the Registrar for a Bursary application Grinstead, Crawley Down, Reigate, Edenbridge, with extensive modern facilities, enables us to offer a Westerham, Oxted, Tadworth and Purley. range of sportsactivities. and co-curricular activities. Westerham, Oxted, Tadworth and Purley. wide range of sports wide and co-curricular form. Regular Forces Bursaries are also available. Westerham, Oxted, Tadworth and Purley. wide range of sports andenable co-curricular activities. Excellent A-level results all pupils to progress The school is just 5 minutes from the M25 (J6). to university with 85% going to one in the top tier. Please read our ISI report: www.caterhamschool.co.uk/about-caterham/isi-inspection-report Please read our ISI report: www.caterhamschool.co.uk/about-caterham/isi-inspection-report We have a beautiful campus and this, combined We run coach services from Sevenoaks, East Please read our 80-acre ISI report: www.caterhamschool.co.uk/about-caterham/isi-inspection-report To facilities, request further details arrange please contact the Registrar. Grinstead, Crawley Down, Reigate, Edenbridge, with extensive modern enables us or to to offer a a visit To request further details or to arrange a visit admissions@caterhamschool.co.uk please contact the Registrar. Tel: 335058 Email: To request further details or to arrange aactivities. visit please contact the Registrar. Oxted, Tadworth and Purley. Westerham, wide range335058 of sports and01883 co-curricular Tel: 01883 Email: admissions@caterhamschool.co.uk Caterham School Harestone Valley Road, Caterham Surrey CR3 6YA Tel: 01883 335058 Email: admissions@caterhamschool.co.uk Caterham School Harestone Valley Road, Caterham Surrey CR3 6YA www.caterhamschool.co.uk Caterham School Harestone Valley Road, Caterham Surrey CR3 6YA www.caterhamschool.co.uk Please read our ISI report: www.caterhamschool.co.uk/about-caterham/isi-inspection-report www.caterhamschool.co.uk

News

news

Our pick of the top parenting and education news

Broomwood Hall in Ethiopia

Broomwood Hall school in south London has embarked on a project to open a new school in Africa to help the most vulnerable and disadvantaged children in the gonder region in Ethiopia. Fully financed by Broomwood and external contributions, HrH princess Beatrice of York is patron. st george’s school opens this spring.

ETON ON TV

LitERaCy HERoEs

Inspiring children to read is something to be celebrated and the National Literacy Trust did just that in December by honouring the top ten British literacy heroes of 2013. The Duchess of Cornwall and Henry Winkler (left) gave out the gongs to those who have made a real impact on the world of literacy.

Eton College will be hitting our tV screens in March in a new documentary entitled, My Life – The Most Famous School in the World. the programme follows three boys who have been awarded scholarships. the College joins Harrow and Radley as part of a group of schools who have all featured on television in the past year, giving viewers an insight into life at an independent school. CBBC

NatioN of iDaDs

Hands on with the Homework..

Homework is not every parent’s forte, but a new company is looking to make it a little easier for parents and more interesting for children. Founded by educational psychologist, and mother of two, Dr sangeeta silva’s Home school Connect is bringing fun and hands-on materials to help support your child’s early learning at home. The programme is aligned with the curriculum as to enrich and help progress at school.

www.independentschoolparent.com

spring 2014 INDEPENDENT SCHOOL ParENT 5

gEttYimAgEs; ALAmY iLLustrAtiOns BY LOuisE quirkE

27% of British fathers rely on a tablet when playing with their children. A survey by market research company, OnePoll, showed that mums are much less reliant on technology than dads. The popularity of tablets has changed the way children learn and play with over half of two to six-yearolds now playing and learning on iPads.

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NEWS Cooking on screen Independent

school alumni often grace our TV screens but now three talented prep school pupils have made it on to the television. The Saturday morning cookery show, The Munch Box, played host to three budding chefs from

On hand to help with life’s necessities...

Financing a home, a family and a child’s education at the same time can be a struggle, and mortgage financiers, Castle Trust, are on hand to help. They want to make things a little easier for working parents with family friendly products which aim to reduce mortgage repayments when one partner takes parental leave. Castle Trust also offers the chance to release equity for necessities such as school fees, university costs and your child’s first home.

Barrow Hills

Beechwood Park Prep School in Hertfordshire. The three ten year-olds, Gabriella, Tegan and Kiara, made an Italian extravaganza, which tantalised the tastebuds of celebrity chef, and mentor to Jamie Oliver, Gennaro Contaldo.

Mount House Travels inTime!

Years Three to Five (above) took on the theme of time travel with a stellar performance of Time Lord by Gawen Robinson for their Junior school play. All pupils were involved in the comedy, which included a cast of WWII refugee children and an eclectic range of characters from dinosaurs to Anglo Saxons.

HOW TO STAND OUT FROM THE CROWD Glossy images do the job when convincing parents, but every prospectus is full of them. Barrow Hills’ head, Matthew Unsworth, decided to go for something different when he updated his and has lovingly created a beautiful book in which he tells his school’s story, with not a picture in sight!

Schools to visit Battlefields Schools across the UK are gearing up to celebrate the Centenary of the start of the Great War this year. A number of different initiatives are being woven into the curriculum and the Government is backing these efforts with a project to get a minimum of two schoolchildren per school to visit the battlefields on the Western Front. www.independentschoolparent.com

New headmaster helps out Cheltenham College, Gloucestershire, is feeling revitalised by its new head, John Whybrow. Pupils recently took part in the UK’s biggest youth drama festival, The Shakespeare Schools Festival. SPRING 2014 INDEPENDENT SCHOOL PARENT 7

An independent, co-educational boarding and day school in Berkshire for students aged 11-18

An inspiring education Students benefit from a broad range of academic subjects and extra-curricular activities on offer and can choose from a flexible day and boarding options.

Set in 60 acres of beautiful parkland and just 30 minutes from Heathrow, Leighton Park School is a vibrant community based on Quaker values of peace, integrity, equality and community, where individuality is celebrated. We inspire our students to reach their potential academically, personally and socially. To experience the wonderfully calm, reflective and inspiring atmosphere at Leighton Park, visit us during one of our regular open mornings. Taster days are also available. www.leightonpark.com/visitus or contact the Registrar on 01189 879 608

NEWS

Heads on the move

IMAGINE A WORLD WHERE YOU RULED SCHOOL

St Margarets Bushey in Herts, welcomes Rose Hardy as its new head this year.

If I were Head for a day... Indea Cranner’s school would have more biscuits, more Field Days and more ties!

If I were Headmistress for a day I would have more time for music practice on the brand new organ in the Hall, and would expand on our public concert performances. The type of Headmistress I would be…? Well, I wouldn’t be too lenient but I wouldn’t be so strict that you couldn’t have fun in lessons, because you need to have fun to learn.

Field Day every term, rather than just one per year. My school motto would be Lux Salubritas Felicitas – it means light, health and happiness in latin. In the staff room, I would have a coffee machine, a hot chocolate machine, a big plasma TV and a fridge.

I wouldn’t get rid of any rules, because all the rules we have in place are fair and sensible, not strict. But, I would definitely change the “one biscuit at break-time” rule to two biscuits.

If you could create a new lesson, what would it be? I would build a kitchen block for catering lessons, and we would have drama each week on the timetable.

In Assembly, I would set a theme for the week, and get the whole school to sing a hymn. I would talk about the theme and read the school poetry.

In terms of uniform, there wouldn’t be too much change as I quite like the school uniform, except I would consider allowing the junior girls to wear ties.

As a treat for the pupils I would ensure there was a

Indea Cranner, 12, is a pupil at Durham Cathedral School.

HUNGRY FOR HISTORY!

In a year of historical commemorations, schools such as Wellesley House, Harrow and Wellington College are joining forces to try to renew and instil a love of history in all pupils through in-house school committees and national competitions, hungryforhistory.info

Anyone for elephant polo?

The father of a Bruton schoolgirl has returned from Nepal after taking part in the 32nd Elephant Polo Championships. Shindi Poonia (below) whose daughter, Orlagh, is a pupil at Bruton School for Girls’ Sunny Hill Prep, is a member of The Rusty Kukris. Mr Poonia, was also helping to raise money for the UK-based anti-slavery charity, Freedom Matters.

Rosey James has taken over the headship of Westville House School in Yorkshire.

Laura Hyde becomes Head of St James Senior Girls’ School, London in September.

Home away from Home No parent enjoys carting their child’s belongings to and from school at the start and end of each term. You can wave goodbye to storage headaches by enlisting the help of School Trunk, who will clean, launder and name tape uniform ready for your child’s first day at school, schooltrunk.org

www.independentschoolparent.com

Rachel Dent has been announced as the head of The Abbey School, Reading.

Simon Clarke has started as the new headmaster of Spratton Hall, Northampton.

SPRING 2014 INDEPENDENT SCHOOL PARENT 9

HISTORY

A lesson in remembrance Schools are commemorating the centenary of the start of the Great War with a series of inspiring events, writes Charlotte Phillips

t can sometimes feel as if the Second World War gets all the attention, focus of innumerable ﬁlms and books and, with it, a starring role in the school curriculum. “Primary school children on the whole do not do much on the First World War,” says Helena Stride, Head of Learning at Imperial War Museums. “The Second World War is accessible to them in a way that the Great War is not.” For many independent schools, however, the legacy of the Great War remains not merely signiﬁcant but indelible, woven into the fabric of school life, from daily chapel services to memorials commemorating former pupils. Add the stories such as the tale of Denzil Heriz-Smith, former pupil and Head of Bedford School, who died of his wounds at Boom Ravine, on the Somme, in February 1917, now commemorated in a book by a former history teacher at the school, and it’s clear that for many of our independent schools, the impact of the Great War is an enduring one. As schools mark the centenary this year

10 INDEPENDENT SCHOOL PARENT SPRING 2014

Right, Ben Rymer, 13, a pupil at Magdalen College School, Oxford, on a visit to the First World War battlefields

of what was, optimistically and inaccurately, known as the War to end all Wars, Remembrance Day services will therefore assume an even greater poignancy than usual. It doesn’t take much in the way of a leap of imagination to contrast today’s fresh-faced pupils with the generations before who, when not that much older, went off to war and, in some cases, never returned.

Military connections At Sedbergh, boarders from Casterton, Sedbergh, its prep school, will join senior pupils to mark Armistice Day, as they do every year. The names of the 250 old boys killed in the two World Wars are listed in the Cloisters, a permanent reminder of the way in which the school’s character and

ethos have been shaped by its strong military connections. Down in Haywards Heath, West Sussex, Graeme Owton, Headmaster of Handcross Park School will, as always, hand over the running of the Remembrance Day service to the pupils. “They mark it in such a respectful way for children so young,” he says. “The most recent event was particularly atmospheric. Just as the Last Post started, mist literally came up over the terrace.” Unsurprisingly, with tradition already a major feature in the lives of many prep schools, teachers and pupils across the country are planning a range of inspiring events to mark the 100-year anniversary. And, as pupils are ﬁnding out, delving into their own school’s wartime histories can provide fascinating and moving insights into the impact on the old boys

❝ Delving into their school’s wartime

histories gives pupils a fascinating and moving insight into the impact of war ❞ www.independentschoolparent.com

New slugs

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AUTUMn spring 2014 2013 INDEPENDENT SCHOOL ParENT 11

WHICH WOULD YOU CHOOSE?

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Newland House School

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New slugs

who went off to war – and the families they left behind. At Shrewsbury House School in Surbiton, children in Year Eight have been tracing the stories behind the 41 former pupils listed on a war memorial near the school’s Fives court. “It’s something that’s been in the back of my mind since I joined the school,” says head of history Sean Smart. “I would walk past it thinking ‘who are these people’? and nobody knew.” A challenging undertaking, the project has so far succeeded in identifying everyone named. So engrossed have the boys become in the project that they sometimes have be coaxed back into more conventional studies. The next stage is to find the descendants to fill in the detail of these lost stories and, hopefully, provide photographs, too. Once restored, the memorial will be re-

www.independentschoolparent.com

dedicated at a special centenary event, attended by each soldier’s relations, as well as the Year Eight researchers.

The curriculum

Other schools are also re-thinking their curriculum, using the centenary as the starting point for projects that cut across different subjects. At Handcross Park, pre-prep and prep pupils will work together in groups to complete a series of imaginative activities, each highlighting a different aspect of the war. From the creation of, Your Country Needs You, posters in art, to code-breaking in ICT, and marching and army drill in PE, as well as the issue of ration cards for all. Pupils at Barfield School near Farnham, meanwhile, will be indulging in a spot of time travel, getting a taste of life 100

Above, children at the Imperial war Museum, london, below, Thomas’s Prep, Clapham, at a Remembrance Day service

years ago. “We’re going to explore what it was like to be a child in 1914, with fathers going off to war and the uncertainty, followed by the grim realisation of what war actually means,” says Rozelle Cregeen. While planned activities range from using science lessons to see just how nutritious soldiers’ rations were, to acting out the Christmas truce in English, the highlight, all being well, will be a design and technology project to research plans for, and subsequently recreate a scale model of a Sopwith Camel, the single-seat fighter plane introduced on the Western Front in 1917. Newland House School, Twickenham, is one of many whose plans to mark the centenary are also well advanced. Senior girls will follow a trip to the Somme by leading an assembly on the subject, which will take place as close as possible to 28th spring 2014 INDEPENDENT SCHOOL ParENT 13

conne s energy & purpose

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HISTORY

WHAT’S HAPPENING IN CENTENARY YEAR: IMPERIAL WAR MUSEUMS New First World War Galleries will open this summer at IWM London. Art from the war will go on display in Truth and Memory – the first major retrospective of British FWW art. IWM is also leading on the Centenary Partnership, which to date 58 independent schools have signed up to. Find out more at, 1914.org. THE ROYAL HOSPITAL, LONDON March of the London Reserve Forces from Duke of York Square to the Royal Hospital Chelsea, followed by a drumhead service in Figure Court.

When you’re dealing with little people, it’s vital for them to learn about responsibility ❞ Learning from the IMPERIAL WAR MUSEUM; THE ROYAL HOSPITAL; ILLUSTRATIONS BY LOUISE QUIRKE

❝

June – the actual start of the war. Head of history, Patrick Dorian also plans to commandeer one of the main display areas where the history of the war will gradually unfold. At the end of the day, though, is there a danger that the First World War, now so far in the past that no eye-witnesses are still alive, is simply too distant to be of interest to today’s youngsters? For Sean Smart at Shrewsbury House, linking the activity to the school’s own history has been the magic ingredient in captivating pupils’ attention. “For this generation, the First World War seems as distant as the Napoleonic wars, so this has made the war real,” he says. But there’s an even more important underlying message, believes Magoo www.independentschoolparent.com

Giles. The founder of Knightsbridge School, London, his own military career included service in the UK, Belize, Spain, Cyprus, Germany and Bosnia. A close association with the nearby Royal Hospital, home for over 300 years to army veterans, sees regular visits from Chelsea pensioners who talk to pupils about their experiences, stories suitably tailored to reﬂect the tender years of the audience.

lessons of yesterday

What Mr Giles also tries to communicate is the sense of responsibility that, in today’s society, is rarely emphasised. “My father commanded a parachute battalion in the Parachute Regiment and I was brought up on duty. Whether you’re a soldier, a teacher or a nurse, you get sucked up into this world. You’re serving others, and you’re lucky you can.” Future wars may be fought against new enemies such as climate change, he believes. “The world is changing. Armies will still be needed to pick up the pieces, but the wars tomorrow will be for humanity and against the elements. When you’re dealing with little people, it’s vital for them to learn about responsibility, and apply the lessons of yesterday to the world they will inherit.”

Above, Chelsea Pensioners, Walter, Marjorie and Ron of The Royal Hospital

CASTERTON, SEDBERGH PREPARATORY SCHOOL, CUMBRIA Plans for Year Eight pupils to research eminent army officers who served in the Great War and present their findings to Old Sedberghians. Lecture programme will feature old boys with military/ exploration background. FRIENDS’ SCHOOL, ESSEX Will commemorate Remembrance Day with both red and white poppies. Discussions on the significance of each colour, and a focus on the part pupils could play in making our world a more peaceful place, including emphasis on acts of kindness. CITY OF LONDON SCHOOL The causes and the war itself, covered in spring and summer terms. Battlefields trip for older pupils. KNIGHTSBRIDGE SCHOOL, LONDON Regular visits to Royal Hospital by pupils. Chelsea Pensioners attend Remembrance Day service at the school, then talk to the pupils, with question-and-answer session for older children. Visit independentschoolparent.com for more information.

SPRING 2014 INDEPENDENT SCHOOL PARENT 15

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hEAd viEwpOint

Only the classroom is important...? Succeeding in co-curricular activities is as important as achieving in the classroom, writes Elizabeth Cairncross, head of Wells Cathedral School, Somerset

ut when all is said and done, Mrs Cairncross, it is his exam results that matter…” If heads received £5 every time they heard those words, then appeals for capital projects would be things of the past. And, of course, parents are right when they say it. Results do matter – not just for qualification (however flawed we may all think the process from our snooty educational headship heights, whether it’s CE, GCSE, iGCSE, Pre U, A level or IB) but because, done well, the teaching and learning that leads to them has to be the cornerstone of what we do. But those same parents do care about other things. They do want sport, music, drama, art, dance, chess, debating. It’s easy for us to feel sometimes that parents want only the activities, which put their children centre stage, which help them twinkle like stars, or win competitions. I don’t think that’s true. Parents instinctively want their children to become resilient, confident, charming adults and citizens, regardless of their specific talents and personality traits: introvert or extrovert, musician, sportswoman or man, organiser, team player, leader; they know that it takes more than an exclusively academic curriculum to achieve that. And they know that as parents they usually feel time poor because they know that, at school, their children need to be engaged in things beyond their academic lives; things that will grow their brains and bodies, hearts and souls in a way which is vital for them. Most important for their generation at the moment is the need for them to

Above, Elizabeth Cairncross says learning outside of the classroom allows pupil to flourish

grasp that the world needs leaders and followers, and that everyone sometimes needs to be able to do both. So outdoor education, Duke of Edinburgh Award schemes, Combined Cadet Force, sport, music (the greatest team sport of all – one plays with people of one’s own talent level, not with people one’s own age), drama – are all important, not for winning extra prizes or trophies, but because of the opportunities to develop relationships, to learn what works and what doesn’t work, all in the service of a higher and unselfish goal culminating in a performance, an expedition, a parade. Is this about happy purposeful occupation of time? Partly, yes. Is it about sharing enthusiasms and obsessions? Absolutely! Is it about realising that application and

❝ The co-curriculum offers real choice and

independence for pupils to do things for their own sakes, to make mistakes and self correct ❞ www.independentschoolparent.com

commitment, which leads to effort and repetitive practice will bring progress and success? Yes, of course. Is it about finding one area for each person for her or him to “flourish”, as we are fond of saying? Yes, of course – and sometimes an area which balances the other things we hold dear. We all know the people who develop and succeed despite or because of challenges in academic learning, which are balanced by accomplishment in rugby, or dance, or archery. The co-curriculum offers real choice and real independence, the chance to do things just for their own sakes, and the chance to make mistakes in choices and to self correct. A chance in many schools to make choices which are valued but not necessarily assessed externally, and do not end in a public exam. We should be prepared to tell you about this, not simply through a list of “clubs”, but through an articulated philosophy which is not about anything “extra” curricular. And we should be prepared to assess it, and to report on it. You should expect it of us – please! spring 2014 INDEPENDENT SCHOOL ParENT 17

Boyswill be

Boys

ome of your friends have almost certainly said it. Chances are, you’re also guilty as charged. It’s routine coffee morning conversational fare, served up with a slice of lemon drizzle cake. Boys, so the lazy thinking goes, are a doddle compared with girls. Their friendships with other boys are easier, their worries about everything else, from body image to girlfriends, more straightforward and easily resolved. It must be the case. After all, they don’t seem to want to discuss them with you, unlike your daughters, who rarely do anything else. Right? Wrong, so very, very wrong, to the point where Ringleaders and Sidekicks: How to Help your Son Cope with Classroom Politics, Bullying, Girls and Growing Up, the new book by US parenting expert Rosalind Wiseman, should very possibly come with a health warning. Her insights into what she terms “Boy World” – the codiﬁed and occasionally grim territory that boys inhabit – don’t pull any punches when it comes to spelling out our parenting deﬁciencies with the male sex. The book was born out of public demand, clinched, apparently, when Wiseman was told she had “boys in her eyes” – not a nasty infection but a pent up understanding of parents’ issues with their sons that only a book would release. As it makes clear, boys are no different from girls when it comes to the width of their emotional operating range. It’s just 18 INDEPENDENT SCHOOL PARENT SPRING 2014

that, like bat squeaks, they are not always audible to the parental ear. Meanwhile, there are some aspects of behaviour that boys simply can’t help or avoid, particularly during their teenage years, reckons Dr Simon Moore, a chartered psychologist. “Physiologically, they get a surge of hormones at that particular time. You don’t see the underlying stuff. You just see this grunting thing in front of you.” “Girls have a much more sophisticated approach to giving each other social support, which is reciprocal, complex and often quite subtle. Boys don’t have that,” says Anthony Curtis, head of psychology and careers of Stonar School, Wiltshire and editor of Hodder Education’s Psychological Review, the bestselling magazine for A-level pupils studying psychology. “I’m acutely aware that Rich isn’t easy,” says Christa, a mother whose son and daughter have attended independent schools in the UK and Canada. “He doesn’t often articulate his feelings but he also can’t hide his sadness or anxiety as well as he thinks.” For parents facing similar issues, one of the book’s most notable features is the insights that dot its pages. Unusually, they come from the boys themselves, a panel recruited by the author and who, according to the publishers, have “confessed things to her that they would not tell their parents”. Their authentic voices are gold dust, helping mums and

IMAGES: CORBIS

Charlotte Phillips reviews the latest book from US parenting expert Rosalind Wiseman. This time, she’s turned her attention to boys…

Wiseman’s book takes you on a guided tour of “Boy World’s” sights and sounds

www.independentschoolparent.com

parenting

www.independentschoolparent.com

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pArenting

You don’t see the underlying stuff. You just see this grunting thing in front of you..! ❞ ❝

dads see not only what’s going on in their sons’ lives, but their heads, too. Read the boys’ comments and it’s not hard to conclude that they need every ounce of understanding and insight that they can get. In Rosalind Wiseman, they have a powerful advocate. She’s focused on the teenage years (10-18) and boy (no pun intended) does she know her subjects. At times, more anthropologist than guru, she takes parents on a guided tour of “Boy World’s” sights and sounds, including the need to recognise that although our sons can suffer as much as girls, they can also be bullies, homophobes and racists – perpetrators rather than the victims. Frequently stressed is the price we pay www.independentschoolparent.com

Above, boys need every ounce of understanding and insight that they can get

if we ignore, undermine or embarrass our sons. Demonstrating a flaky sense of right and wrong can be just as bad. Boys may say nothing when parents fail to speak up if they or their friends suffer at the hands of others, but if boys clock the fact that our moral compass is spinning wildly about on its bearings, it’s unlikely to set them on the right path themselves. Stressing your beliefs is vital, agrees Simon Moore. “It means they have a different repertoire when it comes to conflict resolution.” At the top-achieving Perse School in Cambridge, where pupils in the first co-educational Year 11 cohort have just achieved record top GCSE grades, head Ed Elliott is quick to point out the risks

of letting gender overwhelm the debate. “Twenty years of teaching have led me to conclude that while there may be some typical boy or girl behaviours, there are just as many differences within the girl or boy populations as between them.” Schools can also do a huge amount to help pupils shed preconceptions, thinks teacher Pierre Pillet, shortly to join the Perse School, and who is the father of a young son. Explaining the “why” behind any activity, providing feedback and using IT to help boys close the literacy gap can all make a difference. “It all helps to create a culture where subjects and activities have no ‘sex label’,” he says. By way of proof he cites a poetry recitation competition in one school, which attracted over 100 entries from boys. Not all parents will be convinced of the need for yet another book about how we should raise our sons. Any soupçon of cynicism is strengthened when you clock the fact that one of Ms Wiseman’s previous top sellers was Queen Bees and Wannabees, whose insights into the complexities of girl group social structures inspired the popular teen film, Mean Girls. However, try though you might to write off Ringleaders and Sidekicks as a prime example of the Noah’s Ark complex – no bestselling single gender title is complete until you’ve created a matching pair – it’s a no go. Few would deny the fact that boys, and men, are in trouble. “They are losing their way, struggling in an increasingly challenging world where they have to be macho or seen to be macho,” says Anthony Curtis. In the UK, for example, while boys this year narrowed the gap with the girls in A level top grades, they are doing worse just about everywhere else, from literacy rates to university admissions. Trawl any mass circulation newspaper and the negative stories about teenage boys means they’re often condemned to the badlands of polite society. Ringleaders and Sidekicks is a fascinating read. It’s not, however, always a comfortable one. But if the insights it offers parents means they, in turn, can throw a lifeline to their sons, it’s the sort of tough love we can all use. spring 2014 INDEPENDENT SCHOOL ParENT 21

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CPT Independent Parent Jan 2014.indd 1

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CPT Independent Parent Jan 2014.indd 1

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education

in defence of tutors

Parents should not have to feel clandestine about employing a tutor for their child, writes Kate Shand, of The Tutors’ Association

imAges: geTTy

he world is getting ever smaller. The children of today are required to excel in the global classroom, not just against their school peers. What today’s most economically and politically powerful countries in the world have in common is that parents are taking more control when it comes to their children’s education. Another key characteristic is the popularity of one-to-one learning. Whether you’re in the US, China, or India, tutors are seen as an indispensable asset which complements and enhances what children are learning at school. With research from the European Commission recently concluding that one-to-one tutoring is the ultimate in adaptive and interactive learning, it’s not surprising to see why. The UK is catching on; according to the Sutton Trust, which champions greater social mobility, one in four parents – rising to 40% in London – are employing tutors for their children. Enlisting the help of a tutor can often be a vital stitch in time in a child’s academic development. For instance, if a child is struggling in a subject, the tailored support from one-to-one attention can help boost confidence. Similarly, if a pupil has been off school, a short burst of tutoring is the quickest way to get them back up to speed. If a child has learning difficulties, the personal attention and adaptive nature of one-to-one learning can make all the difference in the long term. Conversely, if your child needs stretching and challenging, a private tutor has the time and means to do just that. It is clear also that education itself is evolving. Given the plethora of online content available to children – even before they set foot in a classroom – means we must develop a pluralistic

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one in four parents – rising to 40% in London – hires a tutor for their child

and multi-faceted view of what and how education is accessed by children. As Tony Little, Headmaster of Eton College, was recently quoted as saying in the Daily Mail: “The student of the future need have no reason to go to the physical space called a school to access these powerful ways to educate themselves.” Undoubtedly, schools do and will always have a crucial role to play in the educational and social development of our children, but there is a desperate need for more transparency and better communication between schools, parents and tutors. And if a child’s learning is no longer confined to the classroom, there needs to be a way for parents to know that they can trust in whatever supplementary education their children is receiving, whether in person or online. I am not alone in this belief, which is why I and several practitioners within the UK’s tutoring industry joined forces earlier this year to create The Tutors’ Association (TTA). As members of the TTA, our goal is to

advance the private tutoring industry by encouraging professional standards, supporting tutors in their work, and keeping parents better informed of what they should expect from a tutor. Another significant aim is to open up the dialogue between schools and tutoring companies. The tutoring industry recognises that there has not been enough communication with schools to encourage the successful working of a symbiotic relationship. The TTA has already been taking on the role of spokesperson for the industry. To kickstart this dialogue with schools, the TTA is meeting with several of the independent school associations, including the Independent Association of Prep Schools (IAPS). Following this, we hope to cement communication further by convening with The Headmasters’ and Headmistresses’ Conference (HMC) and the Independent Schools Association (ISA). As vice-president of the TTA, I understand that it will take time to build bridges and establish trust and the TTA wants to show schools that we are open for business and discussion. The TTA is keen to highlight that the question of responsibility is entrenched within the TTA’s ethos. We also want to emphasise that the TTA’s codes of practice are open to discussion, and we welcome the chance to consult with school heads and the afore-mentioned organisations to build on the principles that the TTA has already put into place. The TTA also wants to hear from parents, which is why we have three positions on our board filled by people not working in the education sector. Parents are understandably very aspirational. Tutoring is a worldwide phenomenon and parents should not have to feel clandestine about it. SPRING 2014 INDEPENDENT SCHOOL ParENT 23

Founded in 1989, The Tutors Group is Britain’s premier education consultancy, private tuition agency and bespoke schooling provider. Our consultancy service delivers sound independent advice to parents on all aspects of education. Philip Fawkes

Keith Pusey

Victoria Udall

Senior Advisor & Education Consultant

Senior Education Consultant

Director of Higher Education

Philip Fawkes has been a Headmaster of five schools over 25 years, the most recent of which was Bruern Abbey, a unique preparatory school preparing bright children with learning difficulties for mainstream education. In this capacity, he has prepared many pupils for schools such as Winchester College, Rugby, Charterhouse and Tonbridge. Philip is one of the UK’s leading experts in working with children with special educational needs.

Keith Pusey was a Head of Department at Wellington College, and at Winchester College where he subsequently became Academic Deputy Head and Registrar (Director of Admissions). An an experienced examiner and ISI inspector, he has had the opportunity to look at the work of many of the leading schools in the UK, providing valuable insight when helping parents select appropriate schools for their children.

Victoria Udall is our Director of Higher Education. Whilst studying Social and Political Sciences at Cambridge University, Victoria discovered a passion for educational psychology. During her subsequent time at law school, and while working as a family barrister, she mentored students through their university applications before joining The Tutors Group. Victoria is an expert in the UCAS and Oxbridge applications process.

Rupert Syme

Kate Cullinan

Education Consultant & MD

Education Consultant & School Director

Rupert Syme has been providing academic assessments and educational advice for the past 11 years. Rupert’s areas of expertise include comprehensive assessments and school selection as well as the provision of strategic advice to parents and contingency planning for children who, for one reason or another, are not succeeding in their current school. During this time, Rupert has visited and continues to work with the top UK day and boarding schools, resulting in the successful placement of hundreds of our clients’ children.

Kate Cullinan manages Blythe Hall School, our bespoke one-to-one educational environment. Kate focuses on educational transitions and onward placements into schools, sixth form colleges, and universities, particularly focusing on more complex situations where education has been disrupted due to illness, relocation, or the breakdown of current schooling arrangements. Her highly detailed and rapid-response approach ensures that the next educational step is absolutely right for the individual student.

Choosing a school is one of the most important decisions you will make for your child. Get it right and you will have a happy, confident and fulfilled young person. Get it wrong and in some cases the reverse can be true. Rupert Syme

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MuM’s viewpoint

How many friends is enough?

It’s normal to be concerned about whether your child has enough or indeed the right friends. But how involved should parents be? Glynis Kozma investigates...

IllustratIon: andy ward

ow many friends should your child have? No parent wants their child to be “Billy No Mates” so it’s normal to be concerned about your child’s friendships. The question is how much – if at all – should you try to manage your child’s friendships? Educational psychologist, Teresa Bliss cautions parents against jumping in too quickly. “There is no perfect number as far as friends are concerned. Some children are happy with only one or two friends. It’s easy for us to equate few friends with unhappiness or unpopularity but this isn’t necessarily the case.” Knowing if your child is unhappy or isolated can be difficult because often children will not admit to it. You can try gentle questioning, observing and, of course, talking to their teachers or pastoral staff. If your child would like more friends, what steps can you take to help? Dr Rachel Johnson a family psychologist suggests: “Encourage them to get involved in clubs and activities because it’s easier to talk to new people when you are both focusing on a shared interest. And involving yourself in school events where you meet other parents could open doors to invites for them.” What about a child who moves schools outside the usual transfer times? How much harder is it for them to make friends? Johnson gives the same advice about encouraging your child to join clubs but also reminds us: “No one is ever as secure as they seem from the

if you want your child to be a good friend, model it

outside looking in. Try to remind your child that everyone has felt like them at some point and although it might feel hard, simply starting conversations can lead to good friendships.” Learning how to talk to people and develop friendships is something you can help with. Bliss suggests that some children who find friendships hard may have undeveloped social skills, which make interaction harder. Johnson offers similar advice. “If you

❝ Trying to control who your child can have

as friends often backfires ❞

www.independentschoolparent.com

want your child to be a good friend, model it. Children have a lot to learn from watching how their parents behave. Taking time to listen, being interested in what someone has to say and being able to accept different points of view even when you don’t agree are important. Seeing these in action is the quickest way for them to learn.” Children do become upset by squabbles with friends but Johnson emphasises that instead of jumping in to defend your child’s actions, it’s important to help them think about what went wrong and how they can learn from fall-outs with their friends. But what if your child has friends of the wrong sort, in your opinion? One mother, Samantha, encountered this. “My son moved from a small school to one four times the size and struggled to settle in. Initially, he’d hang around with children who weren’t as hard-working and who behaved badly in class. I made it clear to him that he should drop those friends.” Is this the right approach? Yes and no, according to Johnson. “It depends on the situation. If you are worried about physical or emotional harm then you should step in with the support of teachers. But if your concerns are about the personalities, tastes or backgrounds of these friends, then stepping in too soon can be destructive. You may be right, but your child has to learn for themselves. Trying to control who your child can have as friends often backfires.’ Making – and losing – friends can cause children a lot of distress at times. As a parent you should keep a watchful eye, encourage them to talk about their feelings, and find the right balance between jumping in too quickly and letting them learn their own lessons. spring 2014 INDEPENDENT SCHOOL ParENT 25

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F : “ I N w x y G H z ~ K E‘ A P I z ; H H D yO N Bx : ; Grammar check L PB D T O x G M Vocabulary has changed, and spelling to some extent, but not grammar C S y A

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Our ability to communicate effectively relies on the use of good grammar, insists N. M. Gwynne

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ime was – and a long time it was, lasting for the entire recorded history of education at least – when grammar was the first subject to be taught to children, and was regarded as the single most important subject, and was taught really thoroughly, down to the tiniest detail. In England, the leading schools – Winchester, Eton and the rest – were even called grammar schools. In the 1960s, all that came to an end in England. Grammar was officially abolished as a school subject. Phew ! Thank goodness for that! The mystery is how the former state of affairs lasted as long as it did. Nowadays, children are encouraged from their earliest years to be creative, unhindered by having had to learn dry, technical names by heart – terms such as clause, complement and conjunction. About time too. Our language, after all, belongs to all of us. Who can have the right to take it upon himself or herself to tell others what our language should and should not be? What is more, since the English language is always changing, to prescribe what it is supposed to be at a particular point of time is simply time-wasting as well as the result of wrong-thinking. We agree so far? Actually, we by no means do. I certainly do not agree with the rubbish I have just put my name to in that last paragraph; and bad for you, dear reader, if you do. With the many children I been teaching over the years, I have considered it an important duty to ban creativity, in any form, until they have learnt the technical rules governing writing or whatever other school-subjects they might be engaged in, including even drawing and painting.

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Would not a driving instructor be justifiably outraged at any of his pupils wanting to drive around on busy roads before they have a proper idea of what the driving instruments were for and how they work. In every human activity, the only practical way to learn something well enough to be genuinely and enjoyably creative is to learn the technicalities thoroughly first, and then develop an

Creativity! No one ever stayed more firmly within the strict rules of grammar than did the author of the works attributed to Shakespeare. Would anyone dare to suggest that his creativity suffered as a result? But English grammar is always changing, is it not? No, it is not. Nothing could be further from the truth. The grammar of the 20th century is

❝

❞

individual style on that foundation. This principle, moreover, applies more to grammar than to any other skill. Any other skill that we might want to acquire as useful, enjoyable, or both, necessarily depends on our ability to think and to communicate. Words are the tools of thinking and communication – without words we can do neither. Grammar is simply the use of those tools in the most effective and exact way. Use words wrongly and, because our decisions depend on our thoughts, we shall inevitably decide wrongly, which can sometimes be disastrous and tragic. Our very happiness, therefore, depends partly on our competence in grammar. Creativity! If we try to be creative before we have mastered the basic techniques of any activity, what unfailingly happens is the formation of bad habits which will be difficult, sometimes impossible, to get out of. That, after all, is why good coaching when one starts to learn something like cricket, tennis and golf is important.

substantially the same as the grammar of the 19th century, and of the 18th century, and of earlier still. A grammar textbook in my possession written by William Cobbett in 1821 and another in my possession written by Joseph Priestley in 1761 would both serve perfectly well as a textbook today. What is more; as the literature before then shows, the same would apply to a textbook as far back as 1500, if one had been written. Vocabulary has changed, and spelling to some extent, but not grammar. Thus my case against myself. Are we now all agreed?

read more . . . For a thorough grounding in grammar, as prescribed by N.M. Gwynne, we recommend his book Gwynne’s Grammar (Tradibooks) available in most book stores.

sprINg 2014 INdePeNdeNT SCHooL PareNT 27

Which school offers a truly diverse range of scholarships?

a. Queen’s College is ranked as ‘outstanding’ for its

pastoral care and exam results are excellent. The school also excels in the performing and creative arts and has achieved national success in seven different sports this year. Queen’s is one of the few schools to offer performing arts scholarships, along with academic, music, art and sports scholarships. Call today to find out more about scholarships available. - We’re the answer

For further information, contact: admissions@queenscollege.org.uk • 01823 340830 • www.queenscollege.org.uk

Great Walstead School Independent Day School for Girls aged 4–11 and Boys aged 4–13 A caring and happy school, providing an inspiring and creative education amongst first-class facilities. Encouraging high academic standards and excellent personal development within a broad curriculum.

East Mascalls Lane, Lindfield, West Sussex, RH16 2QL

Pre Prep Open Morning: Thursday 27th February 2014, 9.30 – 10.45am. Please call to reserve a place 020 8979 6216 School Open Day: 10th May, 10am – 12pm. All welcome.

T: 01444 483528 E: registrar@greatwalstead.co.uk W: greatwalstead.co.uk Head Teacher: Mr Colin Baty Admissions: Mrs Fiona Clutton

Key facts

Gender / Ages: boys and girls, 2 1/2 to 13 years Total pupils: 434, boys 268, girls 166 Type: Day, Flexi, Weekly Boarding Fees: Nursery: based on 1 day each week from £295. Pre-prep: from £2,325, Prep: from £4,160 Flexi from £29 per night, Full Boarding from £885 per term Entrance procedure: Please see the school website for details.

School Philosophy: Our vision at Great Walstead School is to inspire all our pupils to achieve their potential in all areas, through the support and dedication of our staff in a caring Christian environment. Open Days: 25th & 26th April To register call 01444 483528 or email registrar@greatwalstead.co.uk

28 INDEPENDENT SCHOOL ParENT SPRING 2014

Beveree, 43 High Street, Hampton, Middlesex, TW12 2SA Tel: 020 8979 6216 Email: office@twickenhamprep.co.uk www.twickenhamprep.co.uk www.independentschoolparent.com

SOCIAL MEDIA

KEEP IT SAFE...

Simon Milner, Policy Director at Facebook, explains how you can keep your children safe on social media

❝ If you press a

Facebook has a set of rules called the Community Standards to help protect users

IMAGES: ISTOCK

’m fortunate in two related ways. I work for Facebook and I am a father of teenagers. So I have a particularly keen interest in how young people behave online – how they develop their reputation or “personal brand”, what happens when they ﬁght with one another and how they deal with what we used to call “stranger danger”. I love to spend time talking to teachers about the challenges and opportunities created by digital services and social media in particular. Recently that included meeting teachers from boarding schools across the UK. It was fascinating to hear about the range of experiences they’ve had at school and to be able to educate them about Facebook and Instagram. I am frequently asked questions about how parents and teachers can help teenagers navigate the vexed issues of bullying and harmful content online. Since I can’t meet every independentschool teacher, let alone every parent, I hope you ﬁnd this advice helpful. In many places on the internet, there are no rules, no limits on unacceptable www.independentschoolparent.com

report button on Facebook, real people will help you ❞ wall post, has to abide by our standards and can be reported – either to Facebook or to someone who can help (like a teacher). People can also easily block another user whose behaviour is making them uncomfortable. If you press a report button on Facebook, real people will help you. We have a large global team of highly trained experts who take action on those reports which breach our terms. We also work with partners – like the Samaritans and CEOP – to get help for people who need it urgently. Millions of young people in the UK are connecting, learning, celebrating and creating via social media. I’d love for more parents to feel comfortable talking with their children about this new world.

behaviour, and crucially – there is nothing you can do when things go wrong. That’s not true of Facebook. We have a set of rules called our “Community Standards”, which exist to maintain the wellbeing of our community of around 1.2 billion Facebook users. The focus is to ensure that no one should harm other users. Everyone has to use their real name on the site. Every piece of content posted on Facebook, whether it is a photo or

Simon Milner is the UK and Ireland Policy Director for Facebook.

HOW TO KEEP YOUR CHILD SAFE ONLINE

Ask your teens why services like Facebook are important to them. Discuss what’s appropriate to share online—and what isn’t. Make sure they only connect with their friends – Facebook’s real

name policy helps identify whether they know someone. They shouldn’t accept invitations from a stranger as they could be exposed to risk. Make sure they know how to use reporting tools . Everyone should

know that they don’t have to and shouldn’t suffer in silence. Help them review their privacy settings. Default settings mean under 18s can only share content with their friends. You should ask your

children about privacy settings, and go over them together, regularly. Talk to your children about the importance of staying safe. You should aim to build trust without needing to look over their virtual shoulder.

Connect with us on Facebook and Twitter (@ISParent) to share your top tips on how to keep kids safe on social media with us.

SPRING 2014 INDEPENDENT SCHOOL PARENT 29

Open Mornings Lower School 8 March 2014 17 May 2014 20 September 2014

academic excellence at Stowe is an independent co-educational day and boarding school inspiring pupils aged between 13 and 18 Please email the Admissions Office at admissions@stowe.co.uk or call us on 01280 818205 www.stowe.co.uk

The only Round Square independent boarding and day school for girls aged 11 to 18 years in the UK

OPEN MORNING Saturday, 22nd March 2014 9.30am to 12.30pm

T: 01474 823371 | www.cobhamhall.com 30 INDEPENDENT SCHOOL ParENT SPRING 2014

www.independentschoolparent.com

prep boarding

girls and boarding

Home from home Victoria davies Jones advises how your daughter can prepare herself for boarding so that she gets the most out of the experience...

n old friend, Laura, admitted to me recently that she found the experience of being “dumped at boarding school” so traumatic, it had taken her years to recover. “My parents enrolled me at the age of eight, without any discussion,” she explained, “I was totally unprepared.” Having visited 28 schools over the last year, while researching my book, Prepare your Daughter for Boarding, I am convinced that nowadays my friend Laura would have stood a much better chance of settling in. The boarding staff I met at these schools were sympathetic to the needs of young children and they work hard to help them adjust to school life in and out of the classroom.

Preparing for boarding However, I wonder if her comment about being “unprepared” might go a long way to explaining why – at least initially – my friend was so unhappy. I wrote my book when my own daughter was considering the boarding option, as there seemed very little advice available for parents. I have spoken to countless pupils, parents and staff and I firmly believe there is much that can be done to prepare a child for school, even while she is still at home. There are currently nearly 6,000 girls boarding at prep school in Britain. They obviously have different needs compared with their older counterparts and, generally, boarding at this level is www.independentschoolparent.com

pupils in their room at Walhampton prep School, Hampshire

spring 2014 INDEPENDENT SCHOOL ParENT 31

New slugs

❝ We like to think we’re the next best thing to

image: istock

home. Our children live in a family atmosphere and there’s plenty of one-to-one nurturing ❞ a more gentle experience than at senior school, as Simon Hallam, Head of Boarding at Windlesham House School in West Sussex, explained. “We like to think we’re the next best thing to home. Our children live in a family atmosphere and there’s plenty of one-to-one nurturing.” Simon and his wife Lucy encourage parents to be part of their child’s school life. “We regularly invite them to join us for events and the communication channels are always 32 INDEPENDENT SCHOOL ParENT spring 2014

open. Children still write letters home, but they also now keep in touch via phone, Skype and email.” Despite this relaxed approach, most schools have strictly enforced routines, which include sensible bedtimes and supervised homework, as well as time for hobbies and free play. Hallam says, “We find young children are creatures of habit and

There are currently 6,000 girls boarding at prep school in Britain

respond very well to routine because it makes them feel secure.” If your daughter is going to board, it is sensible to find out what the daily schedule at her new school entails, as some of it can be replicated at home.

Boarding school tips The following tips were given to me by Emily Tier, a girls’ housemistress at Cumnor House School in East Sussex: • Teach your daughter how to make her bed and change her sheets; • Make sure she knows how to clean her teeth, brush and tie back her hair etc – she will be supervised, but not necessarily as stringently as at home. • Show her how to use a laundry basket and encourage her not to store www.independentschoolparent.com

prep boarding

up clothes that need to be washed. • Find out when meal times are, and try to follow a similar pattern at home before she goes to school. Supper at school is often earlier than at home. • Make sure her bed/getting up times are not vastly different from what they will be like at school. After a summer of staying up late, going to bed at 7:30pm and the early starts can come as a bit of a shock! Another key to preparing for boarding school concerns homesickness. Make sure you tell your daughter that she will almost certainly feel homesick at some point. This is normal and is nothing to be ashamed of. It will also help if she knows that you wholeheartedly support the decision to board: if a child thinks her parents are wracked with doubt, www.independentschoolparent.com

Left to right, Hanford School, dorset, Casterton, Felsted, essex, and gresham’s, norfolk

then it will compound her anxieties. Of course, while casting the move in a glowing light, your daughter will still want to know that she is going to be missed. One pupil told me, “My mum kept saying she couldn’t wait for us go to school… she was joking, but it made me feel more homesick.” There is certainly a balance to be struck between giving your daughter a positive vibe about the changes and letting her know that home is still important. The following tips are part of a list I compiled with the help of pupils and staff. They are designed to help prepare girls for dealing with homesickness • Take it in bite sizes: concentrate on getting through short units of time. If you feel sad at night, say to yourself: “I only need to get through until

morning and things will be better”. •Keep busy: most schools have a mind-boggling number of hobbies. Try to get involved as it will divert you from missing home. •Use available support: find out who your daughter can turn to if she has issues with homesickness. Sometimes, knowing there is a safety net is enough to prevent a child needing it. As well as the pointers above, there is much more that can be done to prepare a child for boarding school. In my book, I collected advice on a whole range of aspects from choosing the right school, to dealing with puberty, and developing your child’s organisational and communication skills. Although it is impossible to plan for every difficulty, if your daughter has been properly prepared she will go with confidence. Barring exceptional circumstances, she should be able to cope – and thrive – whatever the challenge.

read More . . . Prepare your Daughter for Boarding: Ensuring your Daughter is Confident and Ready to get the Most out of Boarding School by Victoria Davies Jones (John Catt Educational, £12.99).

spring 2014 INDEPENDENT SCHOOL ParENT 33

A world-class education in the heart of Bristol.

Open Morning - Monday 5th May 2014 Badminton nurtures intellectual curiosity and challenges enquiring minds in a supportive community. Our girls’ enthusiasm for the arts, sport and their many activities keeps the School vibrant – come and see for yourself! Phone: 0117 905 5271 • Email: admissions@badmintonschool.co.uk • Twitter: @AcorntoOakBris www.badmintonschool.co.uk

Space to think, room to grow, opportunity to excel.

Bright

young minds

• Catholic Benedictine school for ages 11–18 • High academic standards • International Baccalaureate and A Levels in the Sixth Form

• ‘Outstanding’ pastoral care (Ofsted, 2011) • Extensive wider curriculum and performing

OPEN

DAYS

2014 8TH FEB 1ST MAR 26TH APR

arts programme

• Scholarships and bursaries available Please book in advance with the Registrar. All Open Days run from 10.15 am – 12.45 pm.

www.worthschool.co.uk Worth School, Paddockhurst Road, Turners Hill, West Sussex RH10 4SD

34 INDEPENDENT SCHOOL ParENT SPRING 2014 B1446 WS 129x202L.indd 1

Telephone: 01342 710200 Email: admissions@worth.org.uk

Catholic Benedictine 11-18 Co-Educational Boarding and Day School

www.independentschoolparent.com 10/01/2014 11:43

PREP BOARDING

Letters home

Learning how to write a letter is a valuable skill, writes Katie Hughes

o one will hear the postman’s knock/Without a quickening of the heart,” wrote WH Auden. Letters have survived centuries of civilisation and have long been celebrated by poets and the public alike. But is it realistic to expect letters during your daughter’s boarding years at prep school, when instant communication may eclipse the desire to put pen to paper? Many schools think it is. “Letter writing is very important because it is a life skill which we are keen for pupils to establish at school,” says Priscilla Dewar, housemistress at the Dragon School in Oxford. Here, “girls still write proper letters.”

Right, boarders writing home at Beeston Hall, Norfolk

Handwritten missives So too do pupils at Knighton House in Dorset, where girls gather in the dining room each Sunday to cram the week’s highlights on to paper. It’s the same at Beeston Hall in Norfolk, where pupils’ family and friends “love receiving hand-written letters.” Headmaster, Robin Gainher, says: “If we don’t teach the art of letter writing at prep school, then who is likely to?” Going north, to Perthshire, Sundays see children at Ardvreck “pull out their personal letter-writing kits, all varying in colour, pattern, and design, and settle down in the library to write home,” says Headmaster Richard Harvey. “It’s a truly valuable time, where children feel that parents, grandparents, siblings and friends are that extra bit closer to them.” But what do girls include in their missives? Gone are the days of strict censorship. “They write their own letters, using their own ideas about what they have been doing and other pieces of

www.independentschoolparent.com

news,” says Nigel Mackay, Head of Hanford School, Dorset.

Email and skype Letter writing complements e-mail, Skype and other faster forms of communication by giving girls the chance to create carefully crafted works of art. “They can get carried away with intricate designs on envelopes,” says Ginny Shambarla, senior housemistress at Knighton House, “the letters the postman collects from us must be the prettiest at the post ofﬁce.” Beeston Hall encourages similarly impressive presentation: “We think it’s really important that the letters reﬂect the standard of work that children produce at school,” says Robin Gainher. But it’s not just people at the receiving end of these letters. At Windlesham House, West Sussex, children don’t always write to their parents but also to the family dog, or, at the right time of year, Father Christmas! “We make sure that pupils always lay out letters properly, on headed paper, with the right date and form of address,”

says Headmaster Richard Foster. Dogs may not reply to girls’ mail, but plenty of others do! “Families and friends are very good about writing back – we receive a full postbag every day at Hanford,” says Nigel Mackay.

WHAT THE GIRLS SAY... “I definitely like writing letters more than emails. I like to think of my mum opening my letter and appreciating it and thinking of the effort I put into it. I especially like writing to my grandparents...my last letter to them has been framed and put up on their mantelpiece at home!” “I take a while on my letters because I do my best handwriting to show my mum and dad how nice it can be. They write back to me to say how good it is.” Pupils at Ardvreck, Perthshire Connect with us on social media to find out more...

SPRING 2014 INDEPENDENT SCHOOL PARENT 35

Day and boarding for girls aged 7-13

Pre-prep for girls and boys aged 3-7

Knighton House School

DOWNE HOUSE

Excellent scholarship results • “Girl heaven” - Tatler School Guide 2013

• • • •

Set in 30 acres of glorious Dorset countryside Encouraging independence and individuality Where the outdoors is part of learning

An Independent School for girls aged 11-18

Open Day Sat 15 March 2014 10.30am-12.30pm th

For more information Tel: 01258 452065 www.knightonhouse.dorset.sch.uk Knighton House School, Durweston, Dorset DT11 0PY

‘A more forward-thinking, flexible education to equip girls better for life beyond school.’ Tatler Schools Guide 2014

Prospective Parents’ Mornings: 22 March, 26 April and 7 June 2014 Please contact registrar@downehouse.net to book an appointment. 01635 200286

www.downehouse.net

‘Tough for any university not to be an anti-climax after Sevenoaks’ Good Schools Guide Sevenoaks School provides academic excellence with a strong pastoral and co-curricular emphasis and a global dimension inspired by the International Baccalaureate. Co-educational boarding and day. Half an hour from Central London and from Gatwick Airport.

www.sevenoaksschool.org 36 INDEPENDENT SCHOOL ParENT SPRING 2014

Registered charity 1101358

www.independentschoolparent.com

[ BEHIND THE SCENES ]

Girl world With ponies to muck out and trees to climb – it’s all go at Knighton House Prep in Dorset, writes Kate Cox

et in 30 acres of glorious Dorset countryside, Knighton House, once owned by Lord Portman, has been a girls’ boarding school for just over 60 years. The founders, John and Peggy Booker, had a clear ethos about creating an environment where children could enjoy childhood, having the freedom to climb trees, spend as much time outside building dens, gardening and looking after ponies. And that ethos is still very much alive and kicking today. Girls eager to fit music practice into the school day skip across the front drive as early as 7:15am to the music block. At 7:30am the “Pony Bell” (above) rings and there is a veritable stampede (from the girls, not the ponies!) of girls hurrying to pull on their wellies so they can go out and bring in the ponies from the field. You cannot underestimate the enthusiasm that the girls have, trekking out in all weathers to bring them in. But it’s first come, first served, so you have to www.independentschoolparent.com

be out early to make sure you get one of the 14 ponies who currently “board’”at school during term time. Over breakfast, the dining room buzzes with chat as delicious aromas waft in from the kitchen, where Chef Chris and his team are busy rustling up batches of Knighton ﬂapjacks. Unless the weather is awful, everyone is outside at break times. For many of the girls, it’s spent in “The Greenwood” – a muddle of trees, hedges and branches, which have been converted, by the girls, into make-believe shops where there is a thriving trade in conkers, acorns and

❝ Certain trees

have been given names like ‘Big Ben’ ❞

Above left to right, Knighton House pupils in their red dungarees, the pony bells, girls out on a hack

stones. Tree climbing has always been part of the fabric of Knighton and the girls are encouraged to climb them – certain trees have been given names such as “Big Ben” – a huge monster of a thing standing proudly as you come up the drive of the school. One of the reasons for introducing red dungarees as part of the uniform, in the 1950s, was for entirely practical reasons – they make it easy to muck out and climb trees! You will often see dungaree pockets full to bursting with apples, which have been picked and saved for a snack later in the day. A wander into the main front hall with its grand, curved staircase leading to the upper dorms, you will tend to see a cluster of girls around “The Slab” – the name given to the stately, marble-topped desk where in-coming post, parcels and messages are left for the pupils. The old chapel has been converted to a cinema where the boarders spend time watching films. And the church services? Well, they now take place at the church which is a short walk down the drive. The structure of a boarding school day means there is time to fit in those extra activities such as music and drama. The drama studio is tucked away at the top of the site next to the pet shed, and stables, and was home to Mr Booker’s vintage cars when the school first opened! So while advances in technology mean that there is now wi-fi bouncing around the Georgian walls, much of what happens here at Knighton is steeped in history and tradition, and we’re working to keep it that way! SPRING 2014 INDEPENDENT SCHOOL PARENT 37

Folds, faults & fossils The Old Malthouse on the Jurassic Coast in Dorset is a unique science laboratory for children, write Adrian Richardson and Neil Brooks

38 INDEPENDENT SCHOOL ParENT spring 2014

he Old Malthouse is a study centre that has evolved from a prep school with an illustrious history. When the then trustees took the decision to close they contacted the Cothill Educational Trust (CET) to decide what the future of this little jewel on the Dorset coast should be. CET put forward the idea of creating a specialist science school that would use the skills, the enthusiasm and the status of scientists from the Natural History Museum. The then Keeper of Botany, Dr Johannes Vogel, was equally keen. Our first contract was born, and for the past four years we have been developing and honing the courses to be wide enough for Key Stage Two youngsters and specialist enough for A-level students and beyond. Neil Brooks, who was for several years

www.independentschoolparent.com

science

and maintained sectors. The Old Malthouse is on the southern ridge of Purbeck Limestone, which runs between Corfe Castle and Swanage on the Isle of Purbeck, Dorset. Within a half hour’s walk of the school one crosses over Portland Limestone, Purbeck Limestone, Wealden Clays, Sands and Chalk. Why is this important? Well, it is this unique underlying geology, representing some 85 million years of the earth’s history, which influences the environments and habitats found at the surface. The Isle of Purbeck, from Lulworth Cove to Studland Bay, supports biodiversity which is unparalleled elsewhere in the UK. It forms a major part of the UNESCO World Heritage Site that is the Jurassic Coast. It is the ideal place to teach children life sciences with an emphasis on working in the field. In schools today, there is a void when it comes to the opportunities for practical and experimental science where the conclusions are not already known. Children need to be exposed to science and its application in the wider world. For example, a group of children recently visited and were hosted by a research scientist whose area of expertise is malarial mosquitoes. The children were taught the usual points about the life cycle and taxonomy of the flies, but – most importantly – they collected local samples and were shown how their research into the habitats could be used in the continuing battle to eradicate malaria.

Natural history The school’s contract with London’s Natural History Museum means that children have a world-leading expert at their shoulder when they are studying aspects of the natural environment. Life science courses are run that look at botany, entomology and zoology. Some of the academic endeavour is testing; back in the Malthouse’s laboratory children are encouraged to extract and understand the role of DNA as an additional means of identification in samples they have collected. The Natural History Museum scientists, who visit to teach on the courses, tailor the studies to fit the task at hand but care is taken to ensure that the visiting school’s curriculum is supported. www.independentschoolparent.com

Left, schoolchildren in one of the laboratories at The Old Malthouse, above, Men of War cove and Beach, Lulworth

From field to fork There is ample opportunity for schools to come to the Isle of Purbeck to study earth sciences, too. The coastline and countryside provide textbook examples for the geologist and students of geomorphological features. Old Harry Rock is used by thousands of pupils studying the processes of coastal erosion. We take groups in kayaks to explore the arches and caves at sea level; an unforgettable experience! Lulworth Cove, Durdle Door and Chesil Beach are all easily accessible. The holistic approach to teaching about the environment is important at The Old Malthouse. A small farmstead is run on our grounds that allows visiting pupils to see the journey of food from field to fork: pork and lamb which appears on the supper table originates from the back of the school’s sports fields, many of the vegetables are grown in the vegetable patch and harvested fresh on the day of consumption. Of course, the countryside should not only be understood but also enjoyed. When the working day is done there is always time for games on the playing fields, a trip to swim in the natural rock pool at Dancing Ledge or to pop down to the sandy beach at Swanage. The children will look upon these environments with fresh eyes having studied them during their time with us and realise that they share them with other life forms and have a responsibility for their preservation and conservation. They will be able to identify some of the plants, animals, rocks and fossils they encounter, thus underlining the importance of responsibility through understanding and recognition. Adrian Richardson is the Principal of The Cothill Educational Trust. spring 2014 INDEPENDENT SCHOOL ParENT 39

images: corbis, istock

the Headmaster of Cothill House, is now the full time Director of our centre. He is tirelessly supported by his wife Tracy who, among many other things, runs the boarding side. This is a very important aspect of the service we offer as the lessons learned and the joys shared through “dorm life” are priceless. Children are welcomed to The Old Malthouse from both the independent

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‘a fussy eater’, ‘a fidget’ is, in his view, likely to be suffering from

Parents oftenfeeling have when an instinctive fussy eater’, ‘a fidget’ is, inishis view, likely to beshows suffering fromtreatRRS. RRS. The good news that his experience that with a child is struggling feeling when– awhether child isit’s struggling that his experience shows that with treatment, these ment,news theseisprimitive reflexes can be closed down. holding a–pencil, The good whether it’s playing holdingfootball a pencil, reflexes canIntegration be closed Programme down. Mulhall has been developed over or playing learning to primitiveThe football or learning to there read –is that The19Mulhall Programme been developed 19 years at Integration the David Mulhall Centrehas in Battersea and usesover gentle read – that something stimulation of the nervein endings to activate thegentle retained fundamental that is in some way there is something fundamental years atneural the David Mulhall Centre Battersea and uses neural babyhood reflexes, to integrate properlybabyhood and fade ‘blocked’ and if it could that is in some way ‘blocked’ and only stimulation of the nerveallowing endingsthem to activate the retained away. He seesthem all his personally andand afterfade initial diagnosis be dislodged, the child if it could only be dislodged, the would reflexes, allowing toclients integrate properly away. He sees all and assessment, they are given a tailor-made treatment plan be free. David Mulhall believes that in countless children (and child would be free. David Mulhall his clients personally and after initial diagnosis and assessment,that theyis carried out at home. adults) there is just such a blockage. He terms it Retained Reflex believes that in countless children (and adults) there is just such a are given a tailor-made treatment plan that is carried out at home. Mulhall trained at the Centre DevelopmentalLearning Learning blockage. He Syndrome. terms it Retained Reflex Syndrome. DavidDavid Mulhall trained at the Centre forfor Developmental Difficulties in Berkshire and subsequently at the Institute for This goes back to the earliest primitive reflexes that occur in This goes back to the earliest primitive reflexes that occur in utero Difficulties in Berkshire and subsequently at the Institute for Neuro-Physiological Psychology. utero in the year instinctive of life – a baby’s and in the first yearand of life – afirst baby’s graspinstinctive of a fingergrasp is of a Neuro-Physiological Psychology. He is passionate that his methods finger is an example. These early reflexes, which fade away when an example. These early reflexes, which fade away when it is time to He is passionate that his methods really do achieve results, it is time to move on to the next developmental stage, are crucial move on to the next developmental stage, are crucial for laying down really do achieve results, withwith marked improvements in focus, for laying down the pattern for future controllable actions and the pattern for future controllable actions and responses. If for some marked improvements in focus, concentration, coordination, responses. If for some reason (i.e. stress in pregnancy or a difficult reason (i.e. stress in pregnancy or a difficult birth) these primitive concentration, coordination, sporting and self-confidence, birth) these primitive the reflexes are blocked or ‘retained’, the normal reflexes are blocked or ‘retained’, normal development of motor sporting skills skills and self-confidence, as well as improved eye tracking development of motor and processing skills are affected. and processing skills are affected. as well as improved eye tracking and hearing. If the testimonials The effects can be fundamental. Mulhall has found that RRS is The effects can be fundamental. Mulhall has found that RRS is and hearing. If the testimonials on on the website are anything to go a host of developmental problems from dyslexia to ADHD. behind a hostbehind of developmental problems from dyslexia to ADHD. the website are anything to go by, by, the results can be – quite But he also believes that RRS is much more widespread than this. But he also believes that RRS is much more widespread than this. the results can be – quite literally – literally – life changing. The child that is labelled ‘clumsy’, ‘flutterbrained’, ‘over-sensitive’, The child that is labelled ‘clumsy’, ‘flutterbrained’, ‘over-sensitive’, ‘a life changing.

David Centre Mulhall Centre • 31 Webbs Road, Battersea,SW11 SW11• •Tel Tel020 020 7223 The DavidThe Mulhall • 31 Webbs Road, Battersea, 72234321 4321 www.davidmulhall.co.uk www.davidmulhall.co.uk ©iStock Photos/Iolaira top left / Photos iStock Photos ZoneCreativebottom bottom right ©iStock Photos/Iolaira top left / iStock ZoneCreative right

David Mulhall AUT13 OPT2.indd 1

40 INDEPENDENT SCHOOL ParENT SPRING 2014

07/06/2013 08:49

www.independentschoolparent.com

Head viewPoint

The power of quiet Jane Gandee, head of St Swithun’s School, Winchester, discusses the different teaching styles used for introvert and extrovert personality types

arents often quiz me as to the type of pupil that I prefer in my school. I find that a difficult question to answer. From a teaching point of view, one might prefer a well-spoken, confident but not arrogant, eager to ask questions but only at appropriate moments, risk-taking but not bumptious paragon. However, on reflection, would we really want to eat strawberries all the time and never sample the refreshing tartness of a lemon or the crunchiness of an apple? Schools should be like fruit salads, a mixture of children with complementary and contrasting personalities.

Jane Gandee is the head of St Swithun’s School in Hampshire

image: iStock

Valuing difference I therefore explain to parents that we welcome a range of different types of children to my school (and I am sure other schools are the same) and in so doing I often find myself referring to Quiet: the Power of Introverts in a World that Can’t stop Talking by Susan Cain. I talk about how one of the major benefits of going to school is not only to meet a range of people, but to learn to value difference. As a school we have no intention of seeking to “convert” quiet children. End-of-term reports for quiet pupils tend to urge them to speak up and to aim, for example, to ask three questions per lesson. Can you imagine a lesson in which every child asks three questions? It would be mayhem as the teacher would be unable to do anything other than answer questions. An unspoken assumption in Western society is that the ability to speak well in public, particularly without notes – think Boris Johnson or David Cameron – is an indicator of intellectual ability. As Susan Cain points out, that simply is not the case and indeed in other cultures listening to others and speaking after www.independentschoolparent.com

❝ As teachers we have a moral duty to notice all

our pupils as they pass through our hands ❞ some consideration is highly prized. It is essential to teach young people to speak out when necessary, but we do not need to seek to change their personality.

Giving pupils a voice However, encouraging pupils to speak out can prove challenging. I have been thinking this year about how to give all pupils a voice. If we really want to engage with the invisible pupils who populate all schools we must seek them out. What does this mean in practice? It means things as methodical as creating a spreadsheet of all your pupils and diligently ensuring that you engage them all in conversation beyond the classroom – in the lunch

queue, on the touchline, during the interval of a concert. It means asking them about their lives and listening to the answer. It means noticing in class when they feel awkward. It means finding an opportunity for praise and taking it, perhaps even contacting home. So we must create an ethos of making time for listening among all those involved in our schools: parents, staff and pupils. We must help the garrulous to make space for others and the introverted to benefit from that space. As teachers we have a moral duty to notice all our pupils as they pass through our hands. If we can listen to all the voices in our schools, however quiet, we can create a generation of young people who will prioritise reaching out to others above the sound of their own voices. spring 2014 INDEPENDENT SCHOOL ParENT 41

All sing together! Jane Capon of The Choir Schools’ Association explains how being a chorister is a remarkable preparation for life

hat is a choir school? A choir school is a school, which is attached to a cathedral or college and specialises in training choir boys and girls. Singing has formed a key part of Christian worship for 1,400 years. Today’s choral services represent a unique tradition upheld by Britain’s historic cathedrals – a glorious heritage of church

42 INDEPENDENT SCHOOL PARENT SPRING 2014

music that is one of the nation’s greatest cultural treasures. Daily services at a cathedral, including Matins and Evensong, have been at the heart of a chorister’s work since the 16th century, and some choirs sing at least six services a week. Many will be part of a host of other special performances. Last year, this included Baroness Thatcher’s funeral and the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee celebrations.

How do children benefit from training as a chorister? “Being a chorister is more than just having the opportunity to be involved with music-making at the highest level. It is also about appreciating history, architecture, poetry, prose and learning to support each other as part of a close-knit team,” says Roger Overend, Chairman of the Choir Schools’ Association (CSA).

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CHOIR SCHOOLS

Choristers are old hands at recording CDs, will usually experience TV and radio broadcasts and most will help fly the British flag overseas during their time in the choir stalls. It all sounds pretty glamorous doesn’t it? The reality is that it demands a commitment from choristers and their parents over and above that required by most families with children of school age. It isn’t enough for a child to be able to sing like an angel. The school needs to be confident that he or she can keep up with schoolwork as well as daily choir duties. Choristers are usually keen to prove themselves on the sports field as well!

Is there a downside to being a chorister? Choir duties intrude into family life, too. Choristers work on Christmas Day and Easter can be even busier, but it’s rare to hear any complaints. Parents are expected to enter the spirit of the occasion so Christmas Day becomes Boxing Day in many households. Because parental involvement and support is vital, any prospective parent needs to consider the proximity of the choir school so that they can support their child’s chorister activity. Choristers are extraordinary children, taking in their stride all that the cathedral or collegiate choir demands of them. There are regular rehearsals, services to participate in most days and all that is involved in keeping up with peers, with lessons, in the classroom. They arrive at choir school from a variety of routes: some have loved singing from an early age and a friend or teacher has suggested that choir school might be an option. Others have become keen singers thanks to the growing amount of outreach work cathedral music

Below, The Chapel Royal Choir at Hampton Court Palace, Surrey

departments now do. They often visit their local primary schools to promote life as a chorister and the values of singing.

Where do you start? Sadly, some parents ﬁnd out too late that their child can sing. Ideally, Directors of Music are looking for raw talent from girls and boys from the age of seven. They will

❝ Choristers are

extraordinary children taking in their stride all that the cathedral demands of them ❞ be looking for a child with a nice, clear voice, with a good ear for music and the ability to learn quickly. Traditionally, new choristers are recruited through annual voice trial days, but most Directors of Music are happy to see children for an informal audition to gauge whether they have true potential.

First-class schooling Roughly 1,200 of the 20,000+ pupils in choir schools are choristers. Some schools take children from 7-13; others are junior schools attached to senior schools. Choir school pupils have unlimited access to ﬁrst-class schooling and musical training, giving them an excellent start in their school career. The majority of choir schools have Church of England foundations but the Roman Catholic, Scottish and Welsh churches are all represented.

Finding out about life as a chorister A growing number of choral foundations run taster days for choristers. Salisbury Cathedral pioneered Be a Chorister For a Day and each year invites boys and girls in school Years Two-Four to join choristers for rehearsals. It’s a very informal and friendly way to learn about chorister life. David Halls, Director of Music at Salisbury Cathedral says: “The children have a good www.independentschoolparent.com

SPRING 2014 INDEPENDENT SCHOOL PARENT 43

All-round excellence

Open Morning Saturday 20 September 2014 10.00am - 1.00pm

visitors’ afternoons 2013-2014 All begin at 2.30pm and finish at 4.30pm, by appointment (see website for dates)

020 8979 9273 www.hamptonschool.org.uk admissions@hamptonschool.org.uk

Entry at 11,13 and 16 21 route coach service An outstanding education in a 27 acre campus

Hampton School, Hanworth Road, Hampton, Middlesex, TW12 3HD Independent day school for boys aged 11–18 years Full details are available on the website www.hamptonschool.org.uk

Dauntsey’s Boarding and Day School Co-educational · 11–18

‘Dauntsey’s is ... Fab’ The Good Schools Guide

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44 INDEPENDENT SCHOOL ParENT SPRING 2014

www.independentschoolparent.com

CHOIR SCHOOLS

Left, Christ Church Cathedral, Oxford, above, choristers at Salisbury Cathedral

in the choir stalls, following a strictly means-tested application process. “We teach choristers how to approach hard work, how to work as a team member and how to prepare for performances in a way that no other group of young people (except possibly those in sport) are prepared,” says Roger Overend, of the CSA.

IMAGE OF CHRISTCHURCH CATHEDRAL: KT BRUCE

Choristers make disciplined and good leaders time with the current choristers. As well as singing together, they can ask them all the questions they’ve ever wanted to ask about life as a chorister – the daily routine, concerts, tours, recordings, radio and TV broadcasts, not to mention the extracurricular activities, which choristers enjoy. “Parents and guardians have their own schedule allowing them to gain an insight into chorister life from a family perspective and to discuss all that is involved with the relevant cathedral and school staff. “These youngsters work very hard but they play hard too, their singing is widely appreciated and they learn important skills. Our open day is a good way to show families what a fantastic time choristers have and to see for themselves that becoming a chorister here is both desirable and possible,” adds David Halls. Salisbury Cathedral has recently introduced an hour-long singing workshop for would-be choristers, just ahead of the ofﬁcial voice trial days, which occur in January and February. www.independentschoolparent.com

David Halls takes the children through all the musical elements which will be tested, including how to practise a singing piece, vocal range exercises, clapping a rhythm, singing back a melodic phrase and sight reading. Parents are welcome to sit in and ask questions and usually ﬁnd this session particularly useful. The Choir Schools’ Association represents 45 choir schools, educating more than 1,000 choristers – a quarter are now girls and just over 40% are boarders. The good news is that the number of applicants remains healthy.

Choristers sing for their supper! Choristers are partially funded either by the cathedral or collegiate college or the choir school – the amount will vary. Choir schools are also part of the Government’s Music and Dance Scheme, which provides ﬁnancial support for musically talented children. This funding is administered by the Choir Schools’ Association but is only available once a child has secured a place

“Choristers have conﬁdence with few nerves and they are disciplined and good leaders. They are usually organised, motivated, aware of things of quality and keen to succeed. I strongly believe that choristership will help young people be marked out as high ﬂiers in their chosen profession in later life.” To find out more about choir schools, visit choirschools.org.uk

STARS WHO STARTED OUT IN THE CHOIR Alexander Armstrong, actor Alastair Cook, captain of the England cricket team Gareth Gates, singer Simon Russell-Beale, actor Jon Snow, journalist and broadcaster Connect with us on social media to find out more...

SPRING 2014 INDEPENDENT SCHOOL PARENT 45

St Michael’s Church of England Preparatory School Independent Nursery & Day School for children aged 3 – 11 years

Independent boarding and day school for girls aged 11 to 18

Open Day

Thursday 20 March 9.30 -11.30 am

Open Days

Friday, 21st March 9:30am - 11:30am

Saturday, 22nd March 10:00am - 12 noon

Registering now for 2015 Limited spaces available for Year 2 2014/2015 Please contact Sarah Franklin for further details

198 Hadleigh Road, Leigh-on-Sea, Essex, SS9 2LP info@stmichaelsschool.com 01702 478719 www.stmichaelsschool.com

DEVONSHIRE HOUSE PREPARATORY SCHOOL

Come and tour the school, meet staff and girls, and listen to talks by our Headmistress, Mrs Jo-Anne Duncan. Please contact our Registrar, Mrs Heather Baim, on 01462 443888 or registrar@princesshelenacollege.co.uk to book your place.

www.princesshelenacollege.co.uk Registered charity number 311064

s te e ou shir r s d bu tfor e r th siv He or en gh d N on t Ex ou an ond r L th

Small independent school for girls

OPEN

MORNING Friday 14 February 10 – 12 noon

The Oak Tree Nursery is for children from the age of two and a half. Devonshire House is a co-educational school for children from three to thirteen years of age. Parents interested in further information or in applying for a place for a child should contact the Admissions’ Secretary.

Devonshire House School, 69 Fitzjohn’s Avenue, Hampstead, London NW3 6PD Tel: 020 7435 1916 enquiries@devonshirehouseprepschool.co.uk www.devonshirehouseschool.co.uk

46 INDEPENDENT SCHOOL ParENT SPRING 2014

For further information please contact: Grange Park Prep School 13 The Chine, Grange Park, London, N21 2EA Email: office@gpps.org.uk Tel: 020 8360 1469 www.gpps.org.uk

PLACES AVAILABLE FOR SEPTEMBER 2014 www.independentschoolparent.com

examS

Prep School Bacc? James Barnes of the Prep School Baccalaureate Association explains why the examination is a worthy successor to Common Entrance narrow opportunities for life-long learning offered by Common Entrance (CE). The strengths of what the PSB offers is widely recognised by senior schools and the number accepting it continues to grow.

A framework for study

12184699

ity the poor parent attempting to understand what their children need to pass into the senior school of their choice. A brief survey of entry routes reveals the following: pre-tests, individual entry tests, scholarship papers, selection at 11+ for 13+ entry, the Headmaster’s list, maintained sector entry papers, overseas entry papers, Common Entrance etc. It is no surprise that a whole industry has grown up around preparing pupils for entry and examination preparation. The desperate need to pass papers overtook the acquisition of skills; unbelievably it became enough to take test paper after test paper in the mistaken belief that this represents an education, because it secures you a place at that chosen school. In response, pre-tests have become more varied and less open to specific preparation but it remains possible for 11 + and 13+ entry, to cram knowledge and exam technique into children without due regard to the

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The Prep School Baccalaureate opened for business in September 2013

❝ Drudgery of rote

learning against the joy of education is where the PSB comes in ❞ effect of that later on; drudgery of rote learning against the joy of education – which is where the Prep School Baccalaureate (PSB) comes in. In September 2013, the PSB opened its doors for business after a pilot year trialling all aspects of its operation. It has drawn inspiration from the International Baccalaureate, although it operates in a less prescriptive way and was developed by a group of Prep School Heads who were frustrated by the

The PSB is a framework for study – not an organisation peddling text books or examinations. It has high expectations in terms of standards and uniquely involves senior schools in maintaining them. The course at present involves children in Years Seven and Eight and the expectations are simple: strong core subject study, breadth in humanities and freedom in the wider areas many prep schools excel in. Central to the PSB is the assessment of key skills across school activities, namely: leadership, collaboration, independence, thinking and learning, communication and reviewing and improving. Assessment is by both end of topic testing and course assessment, thereby ensuring that children have the ability to work with evidence and develop a knowledge base. Senior schools are a crucial element of the PSB and those that have signed up to it include: Marlborough, Queen Anne’s, Wellington College, Radley, Bradfield, St Edward’s and Uppingham. Of course, CE continues to offer a major, if dwindling, route to senior schools. The PSB is keen to utilise the best of it, core subject papers for example are good, but to offer greater freedom in wider subjects and most importantly develop young people as strong learners. If CE can embrace change and have a more flexible approach to senior school entry there is no reason why the two cannot co-exist. To find out more visit psbacc.org spring 2014 INDEPENDENT SCHOOL ParENT 47

An exceptional education

Contact our Admissions OfficerSCHOOL for more details on 01273 465805 or AGED visit our A LEADING INDEPENDENT FOR BOYS AND GIRLS 13website TO 18

www.lancingcollege.co.uk Tel 01273 465805

West Sussex BN15 0RW

AN INDEPENDENT SCHOOL FOR BOYS AND GIRLS AGED 13 TO 18 Registered Charity Number: 1076483

ScHooL’S out

Like father, like son

Josephine Price catches up with Leo and Stephen Winkley, the only co-serving father and son headmasters in the history of the HMC

What school did you attend? LW Cranleigh School, in rural Surrey. SW St Edward’s Oxford.

Right, Leo and Stephen Winkley at the Rossall School Speech Day in Lancashire

How would you describe your school days? LW Eventful… SW Difficult. I was a clever weed and many of other boys were the opposite! How would your headmaster describe you? LW I was rather a difficult pupil – I suspect teachers’ children – like the offspring of vicars - are often a bit of a handful… My housemaster once cautioned me for ‘sailing close to the wind’. On my final day of school he said: ‘You’ll be a teacher, Leo’. And he was right. As he usually was. SW Our warden described me as talented, but awkward and difficult. What did you want to be when you grew up? LW Aged eight, I was convinced I would mastermind the Arsenal midfield. In my teen years, I fancied myself as a candidate for the Poet Laureate – assuming you could secure the post by writing soppy sonnets and melancholy meditations on teen life. All the while, teaching was in the blood. SW I was simply told I was going to teach Classics at Oxford.

❝ I have always

admired great, original heads who know what their leadership role is ❞ Stephen Winkley www.independentschoolparent.com

How did you get in to education? LW I was born in it and never managed to find my way out! SW When I was running out of money (I was doing a tedious research degree) someone rang me up and offered me a job at Cranleigh.

What did you learn from each other in the education sector? LW Amongst other things, he taught me to love learning and to value community. And not to try not to take yourself too seriously. I’m still learning that. SW Leo and I overlapped for a year at spring 2014 INDEPENDENT SCHOOL ParENT 49

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Knightsbridge School

67 Pont Street, London SW1X 0BD

3 – 13

Open Morning Saturday 8 March at 9.30am Please contact the Admissions Office on 01242 552697 or visit www.cheltenhamcollege.org to register.

T: 020 7590 9000 E: office@knightsbridgeschool.com W: knightsbridgeschool.com Head Teacher: Magoo Giles Admissions: Mary Caldecott-Smith E: registrar@knightsbridgeschool.com

Key facts

Gender / Ages: boys and girls, 4-13 years Total pupils: 362, boys 185, girls 177 Type: Day Fees: Nursery: Weekly from £5,150 Pre-Prep: Weekly from £5,150 Prep: Weekly from £5,480

Motto: Junior School: “Play Hard, Work Hard”. Seniors: “Work Hard, Play Hard”. Entrance procedure: Informal interview of both parents and children at the appropriate level. Prospective boys and girls for Year 1 and above will be expected to spend a day of assessment at the school

School Tours: Junior School – Wed 9.30am and Thur 10.00am. Senior School – Wed 10am. Please call to book.

50 INDEPENDENT SCHOOL ParENT SPRING 2014

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SCHOOL’S OUT

❝ We share a

similar sense of the ridiculous and a shared love of bizarre animals. For him, the tapir; for me, the anteater ❞ Leo Winkley Cranleigh while I was teaching. That year he was the star pupil, routinely earning more commendations than anyone else. But he was, at times, difﬁcult and awkward, like his father. Who inspires you? Who is your hero? LW My father. That’s the only possible answer in this context, isn’t it?! SW Well no, Cyril Allington - who was a headmaster of Eton College - was mine. He was once asked by a boy: ‘Sir, is there a difference between you and God?’ After a pause he replied: ‘There is one , but while you are at my school it need not concern you’. I have always admired great, original heads who know what their leadership role is (and it isn’t about KPIs and league tables). And I’ve also always had sympathy with Mark Twain who told an audience of girls: ‘Ladies, please make sure that this school doesn’t interfere with your education’. If you could make one change to schools today, what would it be? LW I would encourage schools to be less like one another. SW I think all schools should be more like boarding schools. Boarding schools have the enormous advantage of providing chances for kids to encounter adults at lots of crossover points. For example, Frank is not just a (rather feeble) member of my french class, he is also in my hockey team, he sings in the choir, and he is in the boarding house where I am a tutor. There’s always something to talk to him about and to praise him for. I also wonder why pupils now have to ascend through school at exactly the same rate. www.independentschoolparent.com

Above, Stephen and Leo on a family holiday in Rhodes in 1982

What are your views on independent schools? LW English independent schools represent some of the very best educational values: at their best, they are about a caring for each individual, and also ensuring that each individual has a strong sense of responsibility to others and to the wider world. They educate, as well as teach. SW They are not independent enough. They do set very good examples in but sometimes a lack of vision means they are too busy trying to be like each other. What is your relationship like with each other? LW I’ve always been very close to my father. We have a similar sense of the ridiculous and a shared love of bizarre animals. For him, the tapir; for me the anteater. SW We’re incredibly close. He’s cleverer than me and a better Head: he understands all the technical stuff. How have you found both following the same profession? LW My father is well-known as something of a maverick, an eccentric, often to be seen sporting red shoes and possessing a bewildering array of ties. He casts a long – and, these days, rather wide - shadow but he has been gracious

in offering very little in the way of advice. When I started out as a Head I asked him for a tip and he said, simply: “You change things by being there”. Enough said: it’s important to be yourself. SW Getting feedback about each other is great. I’m really thrilled when colleagues tell me how well he’s doing. What advice would you give the younger generation at school today? LW I rather like Walt Whitman’s line: “Keep your face always toward the sunshine – and shadows will fall behind you”. I would ask them to be whatever it is to be themselves. SW You’ll never get a better chance to do things. Try everything. Try to be really good at something. And don’t waste hours on social media. Dr Stephen Winkley has spent all his working life in independent education, beginning in 1969 at Cranleigh. He has since worked at Winchester, Uppingham and at Rossall near Blackpool until he retired again in 2013. Leo Winkley grew up at Cranleigh School. He studied Theology at the University of Oxford and then lived in France for two years before starting teaching at Ardingly. He has since worked at Cheltenham Ladies’ College, Bedales and has been Head Master of St Peter’s School since 2010. SPRING 2014 INDEPENDENT SCHOOL PARENT 51

THE TIE COLLECTOR ADRIAN PALMER

Wycliffe Preparatory School, Gloucestershire Instead of the usual leaving gifts the children give me ties: the more outrageous the better, and so my collection has blossomed to over 200. When I put one on it reminds me of the child who gave it to me and why they chose it. What a wonderful way to start your day!!

HEADS HOBBIES From tie collecting to tango dancing â€“ how our headmasters and headmistresses unwind after a long day at school...

THE PINBALL WIZARD MARK POTTER

Laxton Junior School, Cambridgeshire

THE AVIATOR DAVID ALEXANDER

The first pinball machine that I

Newland House Prep School, London

bought was in such a sorry state that

My love of flying started when my wife bought me a

I stripped it from top to bottom,

lesson for my 18th birthday. This led to me gaining a pilotâ€™s

taught myself to solder and enjoyed

license, which was at about the same time as being

the moments when I could get

appointed to my first Headship. Today, I command No.

away from work issues and lose

616 Volunteer Gliding Squadron. This role involves training

myself in the machine. To date, I

future RAF pilots. It also came in handy recently when I

have traded a further 13 machines.

flew a plane to France to join the children on a history trip!

www.independentschoolparent.com

SCHOOL’S OUT IPSUM

THE SAILOR ANDREW FLECK

Sedbergh School, Cumbria Having been a sailor since birth, I head over the horizon when the summer holidays arrive. For the past ten years, me and my family (all sailors) have used Shetland as a base from which to sail our classic wooden yacht in the north Atlantic. In winter, boat maintenance and snowboarding keeps the adrenalin flowing and stress at bay.

THE TANGO DANCER BERNICE MCCABE

North London Collegiate School On a trip to Buenos Aires in 2009, a friend persuaded me to try the Argentine Tango. I fell in love with

THE EVENTER

it and spent the remainder of our

NICOLA HUGGETT

holiday practising in classes.

Blundell’s, Devon

When I returned, I continued the

There is no doubt that having an interest away from

lessons and I occasionally go to

school is vital if you want to stay sane as a Head. I love

“milongas” – special events

being out in the fresh air, so riding is one of my

around London where people

favourite activities. I find that I can think most creatively

dance tango. I use my experience

when I am outside – away from phones and computers.

to encourage NLCS girls to try new things. Today, I still have my tango shoes lined up in my

❝ Whereas my

bedroom to remind me of the importance of having hobbies outside of work.

THE COMPOSER ALEX OSIATYNSKI

Bilton Grange, Warwickshire I really look forward to being at the keyboard with pencil and manuscript: composing has always been a passion. While not every piece is a masterwork I really enjoy the challenge of writing for children, especially children’s voices, whether it is an original composition or an arrangement. I like to gauge their opinion too!

THE BEE KEEPER ANNE SWEENEY

Coworth Flexlands School, Surrey I have my own hive in my garden and the honey we produce has a unique taste IMAGES: ISTOCK

from the herbs growing nearby. Bee keeping is a contrast to school life.

www.independentschoolparent.com

school is a pacy place to work, you have to be very slow and gentle when handling bees - very effective in calming a busy mind! ❞ Anne Sweeney, Coworth Flexlands School

Bright

YOUNGTHINGS

Up-and-coming stars from the independent school sector, by Josephine Price

Rick Findler, 29

Photographer WELLINGTON COLLEGE, BERKSHIRE Rick’s photojournalism degree has led him to document events from the London riots in August 2011 to the Royal Wedding earlier in the year, but his real passion lies in photographing conflicts. His work on the Syrian civil war sparked a worldwide debate when The Sunday Times refused to accept his images as they did not want freelancers to take any unnecessary risks. These images have featured in the Press Photographers 2013 Exhibition in London. Rick has now

Sophie Millns, 20

co-founded his own agency specialising in conflict zones, called Borderline News.

Stage designer EASTBOURNE COLLEGE, EAST SUSSEX Young Sophie Millns is making her mark on the world of theatre and hasn’t even

Alan Mak, 29

finished her studies yet. She is currently

Lawyer and philanthropist

studying Technical Theatre and Stage

ST PETER’S SCHOOL, YORK

already begun to showcase her talents

Alan has curated an impressive CV for

in some renowned settings. Sophie has

himself since school. He is an

been working in the props and design

award-winning lawyer, investor and

departments at Glyndebourne Opera

president of the Magic Breakfast

House and the Royal Shakespeare

charity, which helps 8,000 children

Company and recently staged her first

have breakfast before school. His

design work at RADA’s Gielgud Theatre

charity work has been recognised by

in London in a Phillip Ridley production.

Management at the Royal Academy of Dramatic Art (RADA), but she has

David Cameron, Boris Johnson and even by the Olympic Committee who selected him as a “local hero” to carry the Olympic torch in London 2012. 54 INDEPENDENT SCHOOL PARENT SPRING 2014

www.independentschoolparent.com

SchooL’S out Vikki Stone, 28

Comedian

WeLLS cathedraL SchooL, SoMerSet Vikki is a talented artist who has been celebrated for her acting, singing and comedy. She has graced many a stage with her popular stand-up comedy shows, entwining her wit and musical abilities. Like many modern stars, she has witnessed the successes of going viral as her Youtube video about her longtime crush on Phillip Schofield helped her gain a spot on

Sophie Kennedy Clark, 23

his show, This Morning, where she serenaded her hero.

Actress

LathaLLan SchooL, ScotLand Playing the part of a young Judi Dench is no mean feat, but Sophie Kennedy Clark took it in her stride in her latest film, Philomena, alongside the Dame herself and Steve Coogan. Since leaving school, Sophie has got involved in a number of projects, but her big break came in 2010 when she appeared in the BBC production, Single Father with David Tennant. She also made her mark on the modelling world when she was selected to be the face of a Burberry campaign with Mario Testino. And with one Vogue cover under her belt, modelling could always make a comeback for Sophie.

Chris Robshaw, 27

Rugby player

MiLLfieLd SchooL, SoMerSet iMAgeS: KeiTH MAYHeW / AlAMY

Chris Robshaw is an English rugby union flanker, captain of the Harlequins and captain of the England rugby union team for the RBS Six Nations 2014. His time at school from the age of seven, first at Cumnor House and then at Millfield was dominated by rugby, where he excelled in the first teams. His commitment to the sport has made him a likeable leader who has won many “player of the year” accolades.

www.independentschoolparent.com

For more information visit... www.independentschoolparent.com

spring 2014 INDEPENDENT SCHOOL PaRENT 55

Millfield Prep now offers flexi and weekly boarding, as well as full boarding, for ages 7-13

Linguist Sculptor Footballer millfieldprep.com/everyfield

THE ULTIMATE FAMILY HOLIDAY IN GREECE LET US GUIDE YOU TO YOUR PERFECT VILLA

www.fivestargreece.com +44 208 422 4885

56 INDEPENDENT SCHOOL ParENT SPRING 2014

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hobbies

Across the board

Chess gives children high levels of focus and concentration for problem-solving activities, writes Giulia Rhodes

or busy children and busy parents alike, extra- curricular activities can sometimes end up feeling like a chore. What started as fun ends up as another source of tiredness and a nagging expense. There is though a free, fun and exciting hobby which helps children make new friends, improves confidence, develops focus, concentration and problem-solving skills. There’s no muddy sports kit to clean either! Chess has been around for centuries, but as the game enjoys a resurgence in popularity around the world (both virtually over the internet, and in major competitions), schools too are increasingly discovering the benefits of the ultimate strategy game. Chess in Schools and Communities (CSC), a charity set up with the longterm aim of establishing chess in all British primary schools, has seen the number of children playing in schools double over the past year. In December, it welcomed record numbers of school children to its annual showcase tournament, the London Chess Classic. There is no shortage of research detailing the benefits of chess for children: studies have highlighted links with improved academic performance, behaviour and classroom engagement, and self-esteem. David Malam, Head of Twickenham Prep School, needs no convincing of the value of chess playing in school. A keen player, he introduced the game to the school 15 years ago. The school’s players are currently National Independent Schools Under 13s champions. “We see the benefits of chess in practice in the class room. Players tend to have higher levels of focus and concentration for problem-solving activities,” he says. Malam values chess as far more than a boost to children’s academic

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Above, pupils at King’s College, Wimbledon

performance, though. “We hope to sow the seed for a hobby they can enjoy at home and carry into senior school .” He believes all children should be given the opportunity to try chess. The school runs a popular introductory club for Years One and Two, and clubs and teams for those interested in pursuing

the game further through the school. The children are coached by local grand masters. “School chess has to be run by an enthusiast. It must be more than cheap after-school care,” he says. Malam hopes that his pupils will enjoy strategy games as part of a rounded set of interests. “The best chess players actually tend to be the ones who are active in other areas too. We want to give children the opportunity to try different things during their school career. “Early on children shouldn’t take it too seriously. Simple strategy games like noughts and crosses and Connect Four are a great starting point. If a child gets the bug it is self motivating.” While chess is usually seen as an individual game, Malam believes it is excellent for helping children develop team skills. “In a competition, the players will put up a tremendous fight in their own matches in order to help the team. We run a house competition and also enter teams into lots of local, national and international tournaments. ” One of the school’s most successful players is Malam’s son, Joel, 13 and who is a pupil in Year Eight. He learnt to play at home with his father and developed his passion for the game at school. “Chess is my biggest hobby but I like all strategy games,” he says. “It doesn’t feel like hard work because it is fun. The best feeling is playing a hard game but managing to win.” If chess ever suffered from a geeky reputation, lower in kudos than success on the sports field, that is no longer the case, says Joel. “Chess is a cool thing to do here.”

❝ Simple strategy games like noughts

and crosses and Connect Four are a great starting point for children ❞

spring 2014 INDEPENDENT SCHOOL ParENT 57

FANCY DRESS Thalia Thompson takes a look at the school uniforms with a story to tell...

58 INDEPENDENT SCHOOL PARENT SPRING 2014

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SCHOOL UNIFORM

nyone who’s ever tried to reason with a four year-old about their choice of outﬁt for the day will appreciate the simplicity a school uniform brings to the morning routine. A school uniform encourages children to feel part of a group, to identify with their school and take pride in their appearance. A distinctive uniform can also say a lot about a school. We take a look at some school uniforms with a tale to tell...

Wearing a piece of history

School uniforms have been part of British school life since the time of Henry VIII. Back in the 16th century, when charity schools were founded, many came to be known as “bluecoat schools”, thanks to the distinctive blue uniforms worn by pupils. The oldest girls’ school in the country, Red Maids’ in Bristol, also gets its name from its uniform. It was founded in 1634 by the then mayor and MP John Whitson, who left directions in his will that the girls should be “apparelled in red cloth”. The girls still wear a red uniform today, though the traditional capes,

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bonnets and gabardines are only brought out for Founder’s Day, when the whole school marches through the city centre to a thanksgiving service at Bristol Cathedral.

An outdoors uniform

You’ll see girls dressed in red at Knighton House Prep School in Dorset, too. They have two uniforms: a “Sunday best”, which comprises of a grey kilt and cloak and then a uniform that comprises a pair of red dungarees and a yellow shirt which is worn every day. Ginny Rottenburg, was a pupil at the school in the 1950s when the dungarees were introduced. “They were invented as a sort of overall to keep whatever you were wearing underneath clean,” she remembers. “They were terribly useful when you were doing handstands and there was a certain cachet in how many patches you had on them.” The dungarees are still made locally for the school and while improvements in fabric technology means that patches aren’t badges of honour anymore, the dungarees are still a good reﬂection of the outdoors life that is encouraged at the school. “It’s all about not worrying too much about getting a bit of mud on your knee, when you’re cleaning

Opposite, Choristers from St John’s College, Cambridge, above, Hill House, London, right, Red Maids’ School, Bristol, below left, Falkner House, London, below, Knighton House, Dorset

out the ponies,” says Kate Cox, explaining that the school is a place, “where children are allowed to remain children and the traditional sense of childhood is a very strong part of our founder’s ethos that we really want to continue.”

Pretty and practical At ﬁrst glance, the uniform at Falkner House School in London must be one of the prettiest around, with a navy blue cloak and red jelly bag hat for winter and a ﬂoral cotton frock for summer. But it was designed for its practicality as much as its looks. When Flavia Nunes founded the school in 1954, the pupils wore grey uniform that was worn by schools of that era, but on a trip to Austria, the sight of local children wearing traditional cloaks changed her mind. Anita Griggs, her daughter and the current headmistress, explains: “My SPRING 2014 INDEPENDENT SCHOOL PARENT 59

What makes us different is the difference we make... From scientific exploration to personal discovery, our outstanding education goes way beyond the curriculum

Find out more at our Open Events Junior: Senior:

Wed 7 May 9:30-11am Thurs 8 May 9:30-11am Weds 26 June 6.30-8pm

Places for girls from 4 to 18 020 8557 7004 www.sydenhamhighschool.gdst.net admissions@syd.gdst.net

• • Founded in 1645 Cheam is one of the oldest Prep Schools in the country • Founded in 1645 Cheam is one of the oldest Prep Schools in the country Founded in 1645 Cheam is one of the oldest Prep Schools in the country

• • Set in 100 acres of beautiful countryside, for sporty, outdoor loving, energetic types • Set in 100 acres of beautiful countryside, for sporty, outdoor loving, energetic types Set in 100 acres of beautiful countryside, for sporty, outdoor loving, energetic types • • Cheam is the perfect school for children to spend their formative years • Cheam is the perfect school for children to spend their formative years Cheam is the perfect school for children to spend their formative years

• • Outstanding academic performance – 68 scholarships in the last 5 years • Outstanding academic performance – 68 scholarships in the last 5 years Outstanding academic performance – 68 scholarships in the last 5 years

• • Very strong sport, music, drama and an exhaustive list of extra-curricular activities • Very strong sport, music, drama and an exhaustive list of extra-curricular activities Very strong sport, music, drama and an exhaustive list of extra-curricular activities

• • Co-Ed day and boarding from 3-13 (Weekly or Flexi boarding available from age 8) • Co-Ed day and boarding from 3-13 (Weekly or Flexi boarding available from age 8) Co-Ed day and boarding from 3-13 (Weekly or Flexi boarding available from age 8)

Email: registrar@cheamschool.co.uk Web: www.cheamschool.com Tel: 01635 Cheam School, Headley, Newbury, Berkshire RG19 8LD Email: registrar@cheamschool.co.uk Web: www.cheamschool.com Tel: 01635 268242 Cheam School, Headley, Newbury, Berkshire RG19 8LD Email: registrar@cheamschool.co.uk Web: www.cheamschool.com Tel:268242 01635 268242 Cheam School, Headley, Newbury, Berkshire RG19 8LD

60 INDEPENDENT SCHOOL ParENT SPRING 2014

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mother is a very economical person. She thought how much nicer the cloaks would be – and also how much more economical it would be for parents.” A cloak can last a child several years, while a blazer is grown out of much faster. Similarly, while the print on the summer dress has changed over time, the principle of non-branded clothing remains. “My mother’s phrase used to be ‘you could go out to tea in that dress, without it looking like a school uniform’,” she adds.

A splash of colour The founders of Hill House International School, Colonel and Mrs Townsend, had strong feelings about uniform, too. Richard Townsend, the current headmaster, explains that his mother

deliberately designed the uniform to be colourful. “She didn’t want grey because she said, grey uniforms produce grey minds.” Today’s uniform features cheerful yellow jerseys and rustcoloured cord breeches, modelled on Colonel Townsend’s climbing breeches. But as well as adding a bit of colour to the school, the uniform was also designed to be suitable for active children. “They can do absolutely everything in it and they don’t need to change for games,” says Richard Townsend. “The whole idea is that the uniform should be serviceable and well-made.”

❝ My mother

used to say, ‘You can go out to tea in that dress without it looking like a uniform’ ❞ Anita Griggs, Falkner House

A modern classic Broomwood Hall, Wandsworth, was founded by Katharine Colquhoun in 1984. She chose a traditional uniform, with summer boaters, winter felt hats and smart velvet-collared Shetland wool coats. The corduroy knickerbockers for boys look smart and the school points out they are a practical choice too, with plenty of leeway for growth spurts. In the school’s early days, the uniforms had to be sourced off-the-shelf and the rain capes were made by a parent, Lucinda Edsell, who had a factory which made waterproof picnic rugs!

Holding on to traditions

Each of these uniforms are as popular with the children as their parents. Ginny Rottenburg remembers the cloaks at www.independentschoolparent.com

Above, Knighton House, Dorset, below left, Godolphin School, Wiltshire, below, Broomwood Hall, London

Knighton House as fondly as the dungarees. “They were wonderful as extra playthings… when you’re eight or nine, a cloak can be a long skirt, a tent or something to hide beneath.” The boys at Broomwood Hall love to pretend they’re batman in their rain capes. And while all these schools have adapted their uniforms over the years – introducing performance fabric for sports kits or adjusting styles for older pupils, for instance – they’re proud of their history and are keen to hold on to the tradition. As Richard Townsend says: “If we tried to change anything (about the Hill House uniform), there’d be a revolution.” Kate Cox agrees “The red dungarees are here to stay too!”

The

perfectionist

What’s wrong with having a child that always strives to get things right? Thea Jourdan finds out...

hat’s wrong with a child being a perfectionist? Actually, quite a lot, according to educational experts. “A perfectionist gives 110%, but often gets bogged down in the minute detail,” says Dr Fiona Starr, a child psychologist and principal lecturer at the University of Middlesex. “In some extreme cases, perfectionist children won’t allow themselves to fail – so they never try anything where

child

failure might be the outcome.” My own middle child – Hugo, aged 5 – has distinctly perfectionist tendencies and we have developed a range of strategies to help him overcome his need for everything to be “just so”. He has his own green plate, his cereal spoon and his school uniform is mark-free, at least every morning. But when his class teacher at the pre-prep co-ed school he attends in West Sussex told me recently that he had refused to write for six weeks when he

moved up to Year One, in case he made a mistake, I felt a chill run down my spine. Luckily, his teacher has dealt with this situation before and gave him some “quiet time” away from the other children to do his writing practice and gain confidence. Now he has turned a corner and is happy to show his classmates how well he can form his letters.

Turning a corner So why do some children care so much about getting it right all the time? “Some children are born that way and have an inbuilt urge to strive for perfection, particularly if they are bright,” explains Rebecca Howell, senior educational consultant at Potential Plus (formerly the National Association for Gifted Children). “They have an advanced understanding of the world around them and usually, a very vivid imagination, so they visualise the way they want to perform in that world view. Unfortunately, they usually fall some way short of their perceived standard and become frustrated by their own performance.” In terms of handwriting, young children who are perfectionists know how the letters should be formed but don’t yet have the motor skills to achieve the desired neat result.

62 INDEPENDENT SCHOOL ParENT spring 2014

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health

that hard work and further research and practice is needed to excel.” Teachers are often faced with dealing with perfectionist children. Thomas Southwell at Wrekin College, Shropshire, says that one strategy is to, “let them use their strengths. The problem arises when they aim their perfectionism at one thing. Help them realise there are lots of ways to be perfect. Including being good at relaxing, being good a enjoying yourself or even learning from mistakes.”

Moderating Expectations In all cases, parents have a huge role to play in helping their perfectionist children moderate their expectations and become more rounded. “You need to accept that your child will always have perfectionist tendencies but you can help him or her to deal with it,” says Rebecca Howell, who adds that girls seem to be perfectionists more often than boys. “Talk to them about their feelings and try and give them a better sense of perspective. For example, when it comes to homework, how much can they realistically expect it to be perfect in the time they have to complete it.”

❝ High learning

potential children need to be exposed to situations where they will not win all the time ❞

The “Good Enough” mantra

images: getty/alamy

In some cases, perfectionism is passed on through parents who have very high levels of expectation themselves. “Helicopter parenting can create children who are terrified of failing. Their perfectionism has been thrust upon them. Left to their own devices, they may have been quite different,” says Dr Fiona Starr.

Adults play a part too… Other adults in the child’s life can also reinforce perfectionist behaviour, either through being overly judgmental and www.independentschoolparent.com

unreasonably critical with themselves, or putting more stress on praising children’s results, rather than the effort undertaken, or in the joy of carrying out the task itself. It is also unhelpful to allow perfectionists to stick to what they know they can already do. According to Howell: “High learning potential children need to be exposed to situations where they will not win all the time; to questions they will not know the answer to; to other children who get better marks. This is so that they can learn and internalise that they will not always be the best at everything, and

Parents have a huge role in helping their perfectionist child moderate their expectations

Howell says that the “good enough” mantra can be helpful, when used in moderation. “Teach your child that there are times when you have to accept good enough, but don’t use it too much in case you discourage them from achieving. Perfectionists are capable of achieving a lot, if they are given the right support.”

spring 2014 INDEPENDENT SCHOOL ParENT 63

Stunning selection of 4* & 5* self-catering family houses in Highland Perthshire, Scotland

Luxury accommodation sleeping 2-12

If you go down to the woods today you’re sure of a big surprise..... Log burners, cosy beds, fire pits, great food, and plenty of adventure. 01626 824666

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‘The perfect family holiday’ Hot tubs ~ Saunas ~ Games Rooms ~ Pet Friendly Onsite facilities include bar & restaurant, deli & gift shop, 9 hole golf course, riding stables and trout & salmon fishing nearby on River & Loch Tay

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30th May - 1st June, Cheltenham Racecourse OUR 10TH BIRTHDAY CELEBRATIONS! Nominated ‘Best Family Festival’ Every Year Over 100 Bands On 4 Stages Early Confirmations Include

THE BOOMTOWN RATS NEWTON FAULKNER CRAIG CHARLES THE REAL THING BIPOLAR SUNSHINE GENTLEMAN’S DUB CLUB LA CHIVA GANTIVA GARY DELANEY PAUL TONKINSON KORKY PAUL A magical weekend of music, workshops for all ages, comedy, poetry, kids literature, Headphone Disco, real ale festival, great food and idyllic camping beneath the Prestbury Hills.

For more information & tickets visit:

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DAY, WEEKEND TICKETS AVAILABLE. U5s & PARKING FREE. 64 INDEPENDENT SCHOOL ParENT SPRING 2014

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TRAVEL

BESPOKE ADVENTURES Family holidays are a fantastic way to create unforgettable memories. Josephine Price rounds up some of the best adventure breaks for half term and the Easter holidays…

ith the half term break on the horizon and Easter creeping up shortly after, keeping the family entertained in the school holidays seems to be top of the list of priorities once again. You may feel as though you have only just got over the Christmas extravaganza, so we have done the hard work and compiled a selection of some of the best companies who specialise in adventure trips for families so you don’t have to!

HEAD OFF ON A GRAND AMERICAN ADVENTURE Relive your favourite movies scenes this Easter on the ‘Cowboys and Indians’ family adventure. Your bucket list may look slightly more streamlined after this trip of a lifetime which includes fantastic destinations such as the Grand Canyon, Las Vegas, Monument Valley and Lake Powell. Experience it all with expert guides and create unforgettable

Above, Lake Powell, Utah, above top, Western horseback – riding keeps the whole family happy

13 years of Tutorial Excellence Osborne Cawkwell specialises in the introduction of private tutors by the hour in London, and residentially in the UK and abroad. We place great importance on the relationship that is forged between your child and tutor, and take pride in matching a tutor to a family.

11 Elvaston Place London SW7 5QG tel: 020 7584 5355 e: enquiries@oc-ec.com w: www.oc-ec.com

TRAVEL

SEE FINLAND ON ICE

night at a Mountain Ranch and try out Western horseback riding in the outback. From £1,499 grandamericanadventures.com

TREK THROUGH MOROCCO

Set oﬀ into the desert over the school holiday on a family adventure trek. Les Petits Caravaniers is an eight-day trek through Morocco’s Draa Valley. The trip includes camping under the stars, camel trekking through the Sahara and a visit to the wonderful city of Marrakech to sample the delights of the Medina. What’s even better is that the trip is bi-lingual giving your little ones a chance to brush up on their French skills before going back to school. From £495 (land only) keadventure.com

IMAGES: CORBIS

EXPLORE NORTHERN THAILAND

From ancient temples and ruins to exotic markets and jungles, Northern Thailand has a rich cultural heritage that is distinct from the rest of the country. Imaginative Traveller has captured the www.independentschoolparent.com

essence of a family adventure and has put together this eight-day trip.which includes bustling Bangkok, the ruins of Sukothai and Chiang Mai and its elephant sanctuaries. From £423 (land only) imaginative-traveller.com

DISCOVER THE BAY OF NAPLES

This eight-day Italian adventure holiday lets you in on the not-so-well-kept beautiful secrets of Europe. Set sail to Capri Island and experience its dramatic grottoes and the sublime natural beauty of the Vesuvius volcano. Learn about the ancient Roman trading centre of Pompeii and marvel at how it has been preserved in this real life history lesson in the Mediterranean. From £1,309 adventurecompany.co.uk

From left anticlockwise, walking in the hills of Italy, playing with huskies in Finland, desert trekking in Morocco, visiting ancient temples in Northern Thailand, the bay of Capri in Italy and paddling down Borneo’s rivers

Children will delight at this veritable adventure on ice. Ice-Pop is a five-day adventure that takes you up beyond the Arctic Circle. With snow-mobiling, husky sledding, ice-fishing, reindeer feeding and cross-country skiing offered, you’ll soon think that five days is not quite enough. If you’re lucky you may even catch the magical Northern Lights and get to meet the indigenous Sami people. From £1,229. familiesworldwide.co.uk

UNCOVER THE BEAUTY OF BORNEO

Enjoy some luxury this Easter with a tailored nine-day jungle escapade with Western and Oriental. The Shangri-La Group will be inviting you into their Bornean boltholes with spectacular views. Enjoy private rainforest tours to see turtles and orang utans in the wild. Our favourite feature of this trip has to be the breakfast on the summit where you watch sunrise over Mount Kinabalu from the highest point in the reserve. From £1,969 wandotravel.com

Our favourite feature of this trip has to be the breakfast on the summit where you watch the sunrise over Mount Kinabalu ❞

❝

SPRING 2014 INDEPENDENT SCHOOL PARENT 67

ADVERTORIAL

Fire up their imagination Traditional camp-making is back in vogue with the launch of the UK’s first multi-shape play tent

ere’s something that caught our eye – a chic-looking play tent kit that will keep your kids entertained for hours and look fabulous in any home. Kidcampz is the UK’s ﬁrst multi-shape play tent that comes with over 80 camp-making accessories. Unlike pop-up tents or a traditional wendy house, Kidcampz’s unique pole and connector system lets you create any shape camp you like. It’s the perfect way to ﬁre up your kid’s imagination! Alone or with friends children can create beautiful looking camps at home, in the garden, at the park or on the beach. Build the perfect sleepover camp, a

secret hideaway or a cozy den to play in. The idea came from the children of Kidcampz owner, Amanda Palmer. “We got fed up with our twins asking for electronic games so we challenged them to come up with something creative to play with. Much to our surprise they did and last Christmas we made it into the Metro’s Top Ten Christmas Gifts for Children!” “You can make different-shaped standalone camps or combine Kidcampz with furniture around the house or garden to make any shape camp you like. Tent, teepee, castle or palace, it’s your space, you decide. Add a smidgeon of imagination and the possibility for creative play is endless!”

Kidcampz offers hours of creative fun

FOR MORE INFORMATION, VISIT WWW.KIDCAMPZ.CO.UK 68 INDEPENDENT SCHOOL PARENT SPRING 2014

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BOOK BOOK CLUB CLUB

Spring reads

We round up the literary works that look back to the Great War…

ONE FOR YOU…

MY DEAR I WANTED TO TELL YOU By Louisa Young

Paperback, £7.99, out now, 18+, HarperCollins Louisa Young gives a gripping insight into the effects of war on personal relationships. Riley Purefoy and Peter Locke fight for their country as their girlfriends Nadine and Rose await their return. But who knows what the war will bring and how their relationships will stand afterwards. This heartwarming tale has been selected as a 2014 CityRead to mark the commemoration of the start of the Great War. The Heroes’ Welcome, the sequel to this much-loved novel is out in April.

And some for the little ones…

Valentine Joe By Rebecca Stevens Paperback, £6.99, out May 2014, 10+,

The Story of World War One By Richard Brassey

My Daddy’s Going Away Christopher MacGregor and Emma Yarlett

Chicken House

Paperback, £4.99, out June 2014, 5-8 years

Paperback, £11.99, out now, 3-7 years old,

Valentine Joe tells the story of 15-year-old

old, Orion Children’s Books

Random House

Rose and a visit she makes to Belgium. Here,

Children will be engaged and entertained in

As a father, psychologist and Lt Col in the

she finds the scars, left by the Great War

this illustrated journey through the story of

British army, MacGregor has written this book

throughout the country, deep and impossible

World War One. Bringing the Great War to

to tackle the subject of parental separation

to ignore thanks to the ghosts of the past she

life, this tale promises to interest even the

using a family of space aliens, who help explain

encounters on her journey. Inspired by the

most reluctant readers. Brassey does what he

deployment to young children. HRH The

true story of the youngest soldier to die in

does best in this non-fiction book for children

Prince of Wales has penned the foreword as

World War One, the story is uniquely told

following his success of his last book, The

the Patron of the Combat Stress charity, which

through the eyes of a modern schoolgirl.

Story of the Olympics.

works to aid the mental health of war veterans.

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SPRING 2014 INDEPENDENT SCHOOL PARENT 69

parenting

The birth order effect

Does the order that we are born in influence us in later life, asks giulia rhodes

image: getty

irth order has long been accepted as one of the multiple influences shaping who our children are and who they become. A quick trawl on the internet shows that position in the family is a serious concern for parents and psychologists alike – precious first born syndrome and middle child syndrome are widely discussed. But are these stereotypes real, and how should parents go about ensuring all their children grow up happy and fulfilled? Birth order is incredibly important,” says Linda Blair, clinical psychologist and author of Birth Order: What Your Position in the Family really tells you about your Character

70 INDEPENDENT SCHOOL ParENT spring 2014

recognising children as individuals with their own interests is key to confident children

“With almost no exception there is no influence which endures longer in our lives than that of our siblings. It has a profound effect.” This does not mean though, she reassures parents, that a child’s future is predetermined. “Parenting style remains the single most significant factor.” While our position in the family is significant, Blair believes we often over-simplify the issue. “We have tended to talk about just first, middle and last.” Factors such as multiple births and chronic illness or disability obviously have an impact too. Gender distribution and the age gap between siblings are also crucial, she explains. “Families of all girls are very

different to those of all boys. And a middle child who is a girl between brothers, or a child whose older siblings are more than four years older will share many characteristics of a first born.” Conversely, a middle child who is more than four years older than any subsequent children will have many of the characteristics of a youngest too. Parents must always be mindful of their children as individuals, but Blair nevertheless believes paying some attention to “thumbnail sketches” can offer parents an insight into how children will manage socially and academically. “The first born, or an only child, is the child most likely to achieve academically. They have had good linguistic input from their parents and they are the only children to have had had the total attention of their parents. They are usually keen to win the approval of authority figures, which makes them high achievers.” Blair has good news for parents of three or more children too. “The notion of the middle child as disturbed, dark and troubled is a myth. They are actually least likely of all birth order positions to seek psychological help. They are socially smart and in fact, social skills trump everything for getting on.” Research suggests last-born children are likely to be most creative. “They often look beyond the obvious. They are also more likely to be risk takers.” The crucial thing, says Blair is to remember that all children want individual parental attention more than anything else. “Personal attention need not be anything too complicated but it is very important. Recognising them as individuals with their own interests is the key to confident children whatever the family dynamic.” www.independentschoolparent.com

Catch us if you can Even after 15 years our collection of award-winning family holidays is still way ahead; delivering far more than the usual summer break. Try surfing in Portugal, explore the rainforests of Costa Rica or go mountain biking in Morzine. We have a range of holidays to suit all ages and abilities.

Visit www.activitiesabroad.com or call 01670 789 101 to find out more.

Beaudesert Park School

Outstanding Preparation for Top Senior Schools Minchinhampton, Gloucestershire GL6 9AF

T: 01453 832 072 E: office@beaudesert.gloucs.sch.uk W: beaudesert.gloucs.sch.uk Head Teacher: James Womersley Admissions: Theresa Yates-Round

Key facts

Gender / Ages: boys and girls, 3-13 years Total pupils: 407, boys 214, girls 193 Type: Day, Weekly, Flexi Boarding Fees: Nursery – from £1,535 per term based on 5 sessions or 3 days a week Pre-Prep – Daily from £2,500. Prep – Daily from £3,340, Weekly Boarding from £6,445 per term, Flexi Boarding is £36 per night

School Philosophy: Perennially popular, Beaudesert is a country school where children can really enjoy being children while receiving an outstanding all-round education. Family-friendly factors include the flexible approach to boarding and after-school care, thirty acre grounds and excellent facilities. Open Days: Friday 21st March between 9.30am and 12noon, or on other days to suit

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Record Scholarship, Senior School and Common Entrance Success in 2013 Co-ed Prep and Pre-Prep for ages 3 to 13 Day and Boarding (from 7 years)

Open Day 7th March

Success Takes Many Forms

www.mounthouse.com

Tavistock, Devon, PL19 9JL

SPRING 2014 INDEPENDENT SCHOOL ParENT 71

Learning for life Co-educational boarding and day school offering A Levels and the IB

oakham.rutland.sch.uk Find out more contact our Admissions team on 01572 758758 admissions@oakham.rutland.sch.uk

St Benedict’s, Ealing Independent Catholic Day School

Teaching a way of living Co-education from 3 years through to 18 Founded 1850

NURSERY and RECEPTION ‘The Nursery and Reception classes offer children an exceptionally rich, exciting and stimulating curriculum.’ ISI Inspection Report November 2012

OPEN MORNINGS 11 and 25 March (Nursery) T: 020 8862 2254 E: enquiries@stbenedicts.org.uk W: www.stbenedicts.org.uk We respect the dignity of all and welcome children of other faiths.

72 INDEPENDENT SCHOOL ParENT SPRING 2014

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PARENTING

GREAT GAMES

The Exploration Society aims to get children off their screens by using video games as inspiration, writes Chris Brickel

familiar scene for parents: children gathered around a computer screen, tablet or games console. There is absolute focus as a tricky move is attempted, a puzzle cracked or an enemy engaged. Often in such games, there is also collaboration, whether the players are in the same room or on another continent. Meanwhile, parents are torn by the concept of video games. They enjoy the peace and quiet they provide and the time and space to get on with the non-stop job of running a family. However, they also remember their own childhoods, where free time was spent out and about, climbing trees and playing games. Video games, for all their intricacy, rarely allow for creation and little imagination is needed as the story is delivered with ﬁlm-like quality. Some parents may worry about the addictive qualities built into video games, or the graphic violence, or skewed gender roles.

So what are the alternatives?

GET THEM OUTSIDE

Wide game refers to a game played over a wide area, often at night

Could we use our young people’s love of computer games and social networks to encourage them towards playing in actual reality rather than the virtual version? What if we were able to capture the essential elements of the gaming experience and package them in a real-life game? Is it possible to create the objectives, the puzzles, the enemies, the communication and the ability to explore a new world for real?

❝ We capture the elements

of the gaming experience and package them in a real-life game ❞

www.independentschoolparent.com

When I was a boy I was lucky enough to belong to a fantastic scout troop at Christ’s Hospital School in West Sussex. Others who were also in the Scouts may recognise the term “wide game” which simply refers to a game played over a wide area, often at night. Some of my fondest memories came from playing these games, sneaking stealthily around in the bracken with my heart racing, or chasing people through the woods until my lungs were ready to burst. When I became Head of Outdoor Pursuits at the Perse School, Cambridge, it became clear that my pupils had the same appetite for adventure games as I did. We played a wide game almost every night at camp and the senior members of the group came up with all sorts of themes and variations. One was a WWI recreation complete with guard towers, alliances and no-man’s-land. Another year, we made our way to Hundred Acre Wood where the children needed to help Eeyore and the gang in order to get a pot of honey for Winnie

• Try to set aside some unstructured time outside where a group of friends can play with NO interference from adults, whatever the weather. • If you’re worried about them getting lost, simply give them a loud whistle to wear and agree a distress signal. The world is not as dangerous as we’re led to believe! • Accept that children may get cuts and bruises and that it’s all part of the outdoors experience. • Engage them with books, ﬁlms, TV shows (and even computer games!) • Of course, best of all – come and join the Exploration Society! Connect with us on social media to ﬁnd out more...

the Pooh. Now that I run The Exploration Society together with party planners Sharky and George, the famed wide games continue. Of course, video games have a time and place but with a bit of creativity, the reasons they are so popular can also be used to encourage young people outdoors, to enjoy actual reality as much as the virtual, and learn to love all the satisfaction and the challenge that the real world provides. SPRING 2014 INDEPENDENT SCHOOL PARENT 73

competition

Win a family break to Montenegro independent School parent have teamed up with porto Montenegro to offer you a chance to sample their beautiful way of life with a fantastic family holiday

ontenegro remains a hidden gem in the Adriatic Sea. It is a sublimely beautiful destination with its grand bays and dramatic landscapes. The clear oceans and historic villages have long been a pull for tourists but it still retains its stunning unspoilt qualities. Often described as “Croatia without the crowds”, it is a great destination to escape with your family. The area is growing and has recently seen the opening of an English prep boarding school, Knightsbridge School International (KSI) Montenegro, to keep up with the needs of the burgeoning yachting community. We have teamed up with the luxury yacht homeport and marina village, Porto Montenegro, to offer you a fantastic family holiday in this beautiful region.

Your prize includes: A three-night stay in a luxury residence with lunch and dinner in the village. in addition to this, you will enjoy a boat tour of the Boka Bay, a one-day outdoor adventure experience, two day passes to the porto Montenegro sports Club and complimentary entry to the naval Heritage Collection.

HoW to enter

For your chance to win, simply answer the following question on our website (independentschoolparent. com/win): Q Which english prep school is located in porto montenegro?

www.independentschoolparent.com

Terms & Conditions: For full terms and conditions, visit independentschoolparent.com. For more information on the resort visit portomontenegro.com. Competition closes 1st April 2014.

spring 2014 INDEPENDENT SCHOOL ParENT 75

www.monkeyworld.org

Where Families Matter!

Wareham, Dorset BH20 6HH T: 01929 462537 E: apes@monkeyworld.org With over 250 primates of more than 20 different species, Monkey World is the largest ape and monkey rescue centre in the world! Visit the park to see the stars of TV’s “Monkey Life”, then ‘monkey around’ in the south’s largest Great Ape adventure play area!

OPEN EVERY DAY, EXCEPT CHRISTMAS DAY, FROM 10AM! FREE INFORMATION LINE: 0800 45 66 00 HALLIFORD SCHOOL - SHEPPERTON

HALLIFORD SCHOOL -- SHEPPERTON HALLIFORD SCHOOL HALLIFORD SCHOOL - SHEPPERTON SHEPPERTON Independent school for boys 11-18 and girls 16-18 Independent school for boys 11-18 and girls 16-18 Independent school for boys 11-18 and girls Independent school for boys 11-18 and girls 16-18 16-18 HALLIFORD SCHOOL SHEPPERTON Set in six acres close to the River Thames Set in six acres close to the River Thames Set acres to River Thames Set in in six sixschool acres close close to the the River Thames Independent for boys 11-18 and girls 16-18 Set in six acres close to the River Thames

Over 600 tropical butterflies Leafcutter Ant Exhibition Insect Study Centre with Open regular handling sessions 24th March2nd November Natural Play Area 10-5 18 Designer Gardens every day Cafeteria Gift Shop & Plant Sales Children’s Holiday Activity Programme Free Parking Located near St Albans, just off J21a of the M25

01727 869203 info@butterflyworldproject.com

www.butterflyworldproject.com 76 INDEPENDENT SCHOOL ParENT SPRING 2014

OPEN DAYS 2014 OPEN DAYS 2014 OPEN DAYS 2014 THURSDAY 6th MARCH - TUESDAY 11th MARCH THURSDAY 6th MARCH TUESDAY 11th MARCH THURSDAY MARCH -- TUESDAY 11th OPEN DAYS 2014 THURSDAY 6th 6th MARCH TUESDAY 11th MARCH MARCH & THURSDAY 1st MAY & THURSDAY 1st 1st MAY & & THURSDAY THURSDAY 1st MAY MAY THURSDAY 6th MARCH - TUESDAY 11th MARCH Tours at 9.30am and 11.30am by appointment Tours at 9.30am and 11.30am by appointment Tours at 9.30am and 11.30am by appointment Tours at 9.30am and 11.30am byRESULTS appointment EXCELLENT A LEVEL &1st GCSE & THURSDAY MAY EXCELLENT A LEVEL & GCSE RESULTS EXCELLENT A LEVEL & GCSE RESULTS

EXCELLENT Aand LEVEL & GCSEavailable RESULTS Scholarships Bursaries Tours at 9.30am and appointment Scholarships and11.30am Bursariesby available Scholarships Scholarships and and Bursaries Bursaries available available

EXCELLENT A LEVEL & GCSE RESULTS Please contact the Registrar Telephone 01932 223593 Please contact the Registrar Telephone 01932 223593 Scholarships and Bursaries available Please contact the Registrar Telephone registrar@halliford.net www.hallifordschool.co.uk Please contact the Registrar Telephone 01932 01932 223593 223593 registrar@halliford.net www.hallifordschool.co.uk registrar@halliford.net www.hallifordschool.co.uk registrar@halliford.net www.hallifordschool.co.uk Please contact the Registrar Telephone 01932 223593 registrar@halliford.net

www.independentschoolparent.com

www.hallifordschool.co.uk

What’s on?

whaT’s on

Our roundup of events from half term through to the Easter holidays

[

LONDON

]

ragged school Museum

[

COrNwaLL 15 FEB – 2 MarCH

]

freaKY naTure fesTivaL

cornwall’s eden Project opens its doors this half term for the return of the popular freaky nature festival. encounter the weird and wonderful world of plants and enjoy testing your skills on the ice rink in this scenic setting. edenproject.com

[

COVENTrY 17 FEB – 21 FEB

CREDIT: SNOWMAN ENTERPRISES

discoverinG Modern MasTerPieces

[

CUMBrIa 15-23 FEB

]

hadrian’s wall

Children are invited to step up to train to be Roman soldiers at Hadrian’s Wall this half term. They can get hands on with Roman weaponry, learn combat skills and try on armour to bring the history of this important Roman soldier base to life.

www.independentschoolparent.com

]

Nurture the artistic streak in your child with the help of the Warwickshire gallery, The Herbert. Their art collection is being used to launch children into workshops covering everything from Lowry to graffiti art. theherbert.org

Travel back in time to a Victorian classroom, which will make your children grateful for even their worst teacher at school! Sundays are Open House days, so if you can handle an extra day of school at the weekend, you can sample the lessons Victorian pupils were subjected to. raggedschoolmuseum. [

YOrKSHIrE 22 FEB – 3 Mar

aLice in wonderLand

]

enter the magical world of Lewis carroll in this trail around the gardens of Brodsworth hall, Yorkshire. characters lead visitors through enchanting gardens. english-heritage.org.uk

spring 2014 INDEPENDENT SCHOOL ParENT 77

CONNOISSEUR TRAVEL Providing family holidays for discerning travellers since 1994

Experience your own unique tailor e id made worldw luxury family holiday

IndependentDay Day School School for Independent for Girls Girlsfrom from4 4-18 -18years years Queens’ Gate School offers girls a friendly, supportive environment, where individuality is nurtured, academic standards are high and where a broad based curriculum ensures a well rounded education. For a prospectus, or to make a private visit to the School, please contact the Registrar Miss Janette Micklewright, on 020 7594 4982 or email, registrar@queensgate.org.uk

Tel: 01403 272143 • info@connoisseurtravel.co.uk

www.connoisseurtravel.co.uk

Queen’s Gate Junior School 125-126 Queen’s Gate London SW7 5LJ

Queen’s Gate Senior School 131-133 Queen’s Gate London SW7 5LE

www.queensgate.org.uk

All travel is covered by fully bonded ABTA/ATOL tour operators.

St Hilary’s School

IAPS Preparatory Day School & Nursery Boys 2-7 • Girls 2-11

Kent College

OPEN DAYS 2014

Canterbury

Monday 10 February • 10am - 11.30am Tuesday 13 May • 10am - 11.30am

An outstanding school for boys and girls aged 3 - 18

www.sthilarysschool.com

Fast Track to the Country One hour away from London Quality education all week Quality family time at the weekend Accompanied rail travel on a Friday and Sunday

EXPLORE • ENCOURAGE • EDUCATE registrar@sthilarysschool.com • 01483 416551 Holloway Hill, Godalming, Surrey GU7 1RZ 78 INDEPENDENT SCHOOL ParENT SPRING 2014

Senior School 01227 763231 CT2 9DT www.kentcollege.com

Download the Kent College App Available from the App Store

www.independentschoolparent.com

whaT’s on

[

wILTSHIrE

]

new stonehenge visitor centre

[ HaMPSHIrE ]

‘Tis The season for ouTdoor fun

The four seasons hotel in hampshire is perfect for families in the school holidays. Their half-term programme is action-packed with lots of fun outdoor activities such as archery and falconry – they even have “tween” rooms set up with video games and table tennis. entertainers from the lavish children’s party planners, sharkey and George are on hand to whisk the little ones away, while you enjoy the luxurious surroundings. fourseasons.com/hampshire

One of the UK’s oldest visitor attractions has a modern new addition. The ancient site has had an upgrade in the form of a £27 million new visitor centre. The new centre will be host to temporary and permanent exhibitions with over 250 prehistoric objects. Experience the unique story of Stonehenge with the family this half term. englishheritage.org.uk

[

NaTIONwIDE 14 FEB

]

The Lego Movie

The classic figurines are coming to life and hitting the big screen this February. Morgan Freeman, Will Ferrell and Liam Neeson narrate the characters through their epic adventures.

[ NOrTHUMBErLaND 22 FEB ]

Three Little Pigs

Children will delight at this enchanting retelling of the classic fable through the form of dance. Following the success of their production of Ugly Duckling in 2012, the Northern Ballet group is catering once again to a younger audience through their captivating performance of the Three Little Pigs. northernballet.com

www.independentschoolparent.com

[

LONDON 10-23 FEB]

iMaGine chiLdren’s fesTivaL

By children, for children – this festival at the southbank centre is one to get in the diary. incorporating the best in literature, dance, theatre and art, the festival at London’s creative riverside hub is hosting free events to entertain the entire family – from bear hunts to storytelling. southbankcentre.co.uk spring 2014 INDEPENDENT SCHOOL ParENT 79

WHAT’S ON

[ MONTENEGRO ]

LUŠTICA BAY

Luštica Bay is one destination to keep an eye on in 2014. With seven hotels, two marinas, a spa and a golf course, this gem set in Montenegro’s Bay of Kotor, on the Adriatic coast, is destined to become a hot spot for families in the school holidays. At just over two hour’s flight time from the UK, its unique blend of local heritage and untouched nature provides a stunning setting in which to relax and unwind. It’s also the first certified ecolabelled development in the country. That’s the sustainable travel box ticked, then! lusticabay.com [

LONDON 15 FEB – 23 FEB

Luštica marina

]

DIGITAL KIDS

Book in to visit the state-of-the-art digital studio in the capital’s iconic Victoria & Albert Museum this half term. Try your hand at 3D printing, computer coding or even designing a video game with the museum’s friendly team of experts. vam.ac.uk [ MORZINE, FRANCE ]

CHILLY POWDER

Avoriaz in the French Alps wins our family-friendly vote this season. Chilly Powder is on hand to welcome you with a team of nannies and an expertly trained chef. The ski-in, ski-out chalet makes the stresses of skiing with the little ones disappear. chillypowder.com

[

SCOTLAND 24 JANUARY

- 20 APRIL]

Mammoths of the Ice Age The prehistoric animal and the Ice Age are celebrated in this unique collection at the National Museum of Scotland. nms.ac.uk www.independentschoolparent.com

WARWICK 5 APRIL – 31 AUGUST

]

Horrible Histories invade Warwick Castle is under attack from the Horrible Histories team. They will be descending on Warwick’s medieval castle this April, subjecting guests to a gruelling account of the most horrible parts of history. Expect action-packed games and adventure from the finest characters bringing the castle to life. warwickcastle.com SPRING 2014 INDEPENDENT SCHOOL PARENT 81

MEMORY LANE

School memories Team Principal of Red Bull Racing, Christian Horner, tells us about his time at Warwick School… Describe your school in three words Lots of fun. Did you customise your uniform? No, I always abided by the rules! Who was your best friend? Charles Silk – we’re still good friends today. Were you a stalwart of the detention room or teacher’s pet? I was far too cunning to ever be in the dentention room, but that said, I wasn’t quite the teacher’s pet either. What prize were you most proud of? I don’t think I ever got a prize! Where was your favourite lunchtime hangout?

❝ My lunchtime hangout was the shelter in the

park where the girls’ school used to meet up ❞

Which of your teachers would really remember you? Any of them who were unlucky enough to have taught me.

The shelter in the park where the girls’ school used to meet up. Which teacher stays with you to this day? Mr Frickman, the chemistry teacher. He was completely nuts really, but great, great fun. Let’s talk school food: only fit for the slops pail or worthy of a Michelin star? We had it in a pre-moulded metal tray, so it was more like prison food in that respect! Sometimes the dessert did end up slopped on top of the main course. We had a choice of what we ate, but not much. Monday was always a bad day and Friday was the best because it was ﬁsh and chips day! 82 INDEPENDENT SCHOOL PARENT SPRING 2014

Best prank? I was too good to play pranks. Would you rather double maths or an afternoon of art? I’d choose art, every day.

Tell us your school memories on Twitter... @ISParent

Were you an all-star sports captain or outside field lingerer? More of a lingerer on the sports ﬁeld! Homework: all done by Friday night or left until Monday morning? Forget Friday or Monday - it was usually all done by someone else…

Were you a team player or out for yourself? A total team player. Any nicknames that you’re particularly proud of? (Thinks) I don’t think I ever had a nickname. Most embarrassing moment at school? There were plenty, but I would prefer not to divulge any. When I was growing up, I wanted to be a… Stuntman. Finally, what piece of advice would you give your school-age self? Don’t be afraid to pursue your dreams.

For more information visit... www.independentschoolparent.com

www.independentschoolparent.com

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T R U S T E D

H E R I T A G E

A D V A N C E D

T H I N K I N G

Your income our vision UK company dividends have historically provided a resilient source of income, even through difficult times. Fund manager Matt Hudsonâ€™s approach recognises that companies operate in the real world and he selects stocks depending on whether the economy is in expansion, slowdown, recession or recovery. Manager of the Cazenove UK Equity Income Fund since its launch in 2005, Mattâ€™s clarity of vision has been recognised with both Citywire and FE Trustnet ratings. Please remember that investments in equity funds may fluctuate significantly. The value of investments and the income they provide can go down as well as up and you may not get back the amount originally invested. Cazenove UK Equity Income Fund

FTSE All-Share

Q4 2012 - Q4 2013

28.8%

20.8%

Q4 2011 - Q4 2012

20.4%

12.3%

Q4 2010 - Q4 2011

1.0%

-3.5%

Q4 2009 - Q4 2010

17.3%

14.5%

Q4 2008 - Q4 2009

20.8%

30.1%

Source: Lipper for Investment Management, B Inc share class, NAV to NAV, total return with net income reinvested, net of fees in GBP, as at 31 December 2013. Source for ratings: FE Trustnet and Citywire as at 31 December 2013.

Past performance is not a guide to future performance and may not be repeated. Talk to your financial adviser or visit schroders.co.uk/vision

In March 2014, the fund name will be changed to the Schroder UK Alpha Income Fund. This change will not alter the way the fund is managed. The levels and bases of tax assumptions may change. The most up to date Key Investor Information Documents (KIID) and Prospectus can be viewed on the UK Investor website via www.schroders.co.uk/investor. Cazenove Capital is now part of the Schroders group. Issued in January 2014 by Schroder Investments Limited, 31 Gresham Street, London EC2V 7QA. Registered No: 2015527 England. Authorised and regulated by the Financial Conduct Authority. UK06317