Sweet dreams

from Independent School Parent Prep Autumn 2022

It takes a village

George Wienekus, Head of Boarding at Cottesmore School in West Sussex, shares his tried and tested formulas for helping his young charges get to sleep

The most popular occupation at Cottesmore, our boarding prep school on the Surrey and Sussex border, is sleeping. We spend more time sleeping than doing any other single activity. Other than playing team sport. And I suppose if you count all academic endeavour as one activity, that could also compete.

Cottesmore is one of the largest boarding prep schools in the country, so sleep is a key feature of school life, yet it’s an oft-overlooked pastime. Sleep is so necessary, so vital, and it’s an activity that we spend the most time doing. Yet, we don’t timetable sleep alongside maths, geography, English and art. Perhaps the reason for this is because, generally speaking, we’re naturally talented at it.

So if our snoozing skills are so innately developed, why should the girls and boys pay more attention to the act of slumber? It’s all about incremental gains and optimising their beauty sleep, developing their dormancy, improving their power naps, cultivating their kips so that peak performance can be achieved, unencumbered by the effects of extended wakefulness such as grogginess, generally ratty behaviour, brain fog and even ADHD-like symptoms. After all, we’re all much more pleasant, talented and sharp when we’ve had our full quota of shut-eye.

But how much sleep should our girls and boys be having? Experts assert that prep school-age children should sleep for 10 to 11 hours a day. Pre-prep children should sleep for 10 to 12 hours, and senior school children for eight to nine hours a day.

How should we ensure that our charges are sleeping as well as possible? Temperature is key. The NHS says that one’s bedroom should be much the same as the recommended drinking temperature for a full-bodied claret: 18°C. (The NHS didn’t actually mention claret, but I imagine that it would be a good point of reference for some.)

Happiness, being busy and purposeful endeavour during the day is also important. “A well-spent day brings happy sleep,” as Leonardo da Vinci famously said.

During the Covid-19 lockdowns, it became harder and harder to keep moving and exercising physically, especially if you were in a country or city with a particularly strict regime – in Madrid for example, children weren’t permitted to leave the house at all during the first lockdown. Every day blurred into the next, and complacency set in for all but those with wills of steel. s

SLEEP IS SO NECESSARY, SO VITAL AND IT’S an activity that we spend the most time doing YET WE DON’T TIMETABLE SLEEP ALONGSIDE MATHS, GEOGRAPHY, ENGLISH AND ART

Reading a book before bed can be incorporated into your child’s calming nightly routine

TO IMPROVE THEIR SLEEP, GIRLS AND BOYS need the opposite of what the lockdowns provided. THEY NEED LESS SCREEN TIME, MORE PHYSICAL ACTIVITY, MORE TIME IN NATURE

To improve their sleep, girls and boys need the opposite of what the lockdowns provided. They need less screen time, more physical activity, more time in nature, more social interaction, a balanced diet, high water intake, purposeful activity in the day, solid routines, a consciously balanced existence between work, play and rest, and finally, they need to experience a feeling of safety and achieve the sense that all of psychologist Abraham Maslow’s needs are being met: physiological needs, the feeling of safety, belonging and love, as well as social needs (including esteem).

It becomes apparent while typing this list that the reason why boarding school girls and boys, at least at Cottesmore, sleep so soundly (aside from being very busy and full of purpose during the day) is that there are so many opportunities to achieve the needs on the top tier of Maslow’s pyramid: esteem, cognitive, aesthetic, self-actualisation and transcendence. The ‘togetherness’ that a boarding community provides is strong for one’s feeling of social belonging. So often the children are publicly revered for a plethora of tasks, achievements and actions, which augments their esteem, self-confidence and to their sense of social fulfilment therefore promoting sound sleep.

So as I write this, it’s now time to start the Cottesmore girls’ and boys’ bedtime routines and turn in. We hope that your children sleep tight and wake up refreshed, ready to take on the world again tomorrow.

TOP 10 TIPS: HOW TO GET YOUR CHILD TO SLEEP

1. No screens No screens for as long as possible in the hours before bedtime. 2. Calming routine An hourlong standard calming night routine that ends with sleep. 3. Reading Reading a suitable book as part of this nightly routine. 4. “The 4-6” Children at

Cottesmore find that a technique that we call the “4-6” is very helpful when trying to fall asleep: breathe in through the nose for four seconds, pause, and out through the mouth controlling the outward breath for six seconds. Repeat as many times as they can. 5. Bedroom temperature 18°C.