Hey Besties!!! The long awaited zine is finally here….and we couldn’t be more excited to present : MOMMY ISSUES! It all started when we had to first meet each other cause we were now zine editors…I thought, “Wow! What an interesting and charismatic woman I have in front of me.” She says “You know what would be so sick? Let’s make the first issue themed around mommy issues, we all have them.” I replied, : “Nice. You are so smart. I love this idea.” And then we became best friends. And then we made more best friends. At the zine. It’s you guys…. Since then, we’ve been sharing the kind of stuff we liked reading, listening to, and watching (even episodes of Bad Girls Club!!), and we wanted the zine to reflect that. To us, zine isn’t just a publication, it is a community full of talented, creative and funny people and this issue is basically us showing off our amazing writers and creators. We hope you enjoy reading this as much as we enjoyed putting it all together! Lots of Love, A+ D xx
Skin On spotting my skin’s first etching I was frozen by the disbelief that life should have to draw upon my skin and leave little markings. That my body, this vessel, did not erase that indent between my eyes which furrows on a black day. If I focus, I remember childhood fingers discovering anew ripples and folds of silk flowing across my grandma’s cheeks. The cool effortless way in which her napkin-folded arms would drape me into the warmth of her forgiveness.
Milk-fed Your eyes so wide. Wet globes. Pleading, milking crazed wonder and spark – Scurrying pupils fly across a skyline A lark! Like free bones your hands wander, write, and feel. Feathers flapping, scraping reality. Nest with me. Bask in the possibility of the adult.
by Natalia Zernicka Glover
Simply a Piece Sophie Bettencourt “Why do you do these things”, You stare at me confused, “Because why shouldn’t I” I shout to the room, You turn around fast, and I quickly change my tone, Before I softly say, “because life's a game of chess, Didn't you know? In just so many ways, I could explain it all, If we only had the days, You are against whoever you like, Just about all the time, But once you rid yourself of that illusion, The notion comes to mind, That you’ve been playing your past selves, All along that time.” You grab me and move me to the corner, “Do you really think you’re winning this game, When all you do is mourn her” I stumble and stare, “Oh, I have lost a lot of pieces”, He wraps his hands around my neck, Smug smirking at the constant delusions, “When’s the last time you made your own decisions?”
Sa ta r o u n dat i n yk i t c h e ni nSc h a f e rh o u s ewi t ht h r e ep e o p l eIh a dme tt h a td a y , If e l ti n t i mi d a t e d . Web u r n tt h r o u g ha l lo ft h e t y p i c a lf r e s h e r s ' q u e s t i o n swi t ho n l yo n el e f t , “ wh e r ea r ey o uf r o m? ” . Th i r t ymi n u t e sl a t e rt h el a u g h t e rc o n t i n u e d, a smea n dt h e o t h e rt wog i r l sb o n d e do v e rh a v i n ge a s t e r nEu r o p e a nmo t h e r s , wi t ho n eg i r ls i t t i n gq u i e t l yl a u g h i n gh e rh e a do f fa tt h ea b s u r d i t y o fwh a twewe r es a y i n g . Pe r h a p so n eo ft h emo s ta mu s i n ga s p e c t so fg r o wi n gu pi na nEa s t e r nEu r o p e a nf a mi l y , a r et h es u p e r s t i t i o n s , a l o n gwi t ht h e e x USSRp r o p a g a n d awh i c hl a r g e l yr e ma i n sa sf a c t . Th e r ea r es oma n yt h a tt h e r ei sawh o l eWi k i p e d i aa r t i c l eo nRu s s i a n t r a d i t i o n sa n ds u p e r s t i t i o n s , b u tIwi l ls t i c kt ot h eo n e swh i c hIg r e wu pwi t h : 1 :Ne v e rs i ta tt h ec o r n e ro fat a b l e . I fy o ud o , y o uwi l ln e v e rg e tma r r i e d , wh i c hi nt h ee ye sofa nEa s t e r nEu r o p e a nmo t h e ri sa n a wf u lf a t e . 2 :On er u l eIl o v e da sac h i l da n df o l l o w, i st h a ti fy o ug i f ts o me o n eawa l l e t , t h e r emu s tb emo n e yi n s i d e , o t h e r wi s eb a df i n a n c i a l l u c kwi l lf o l l o w. Wh e nmymo t h e rg i f t e dmeh e rv i n t a g ewa l l e ta n dp u ts o mer o u b l e si n s i d e , wh i c hIh a dy e tt ok n o wt h ev a l u e o f , ma d emei n c r e d i b l ye x c i t e d . 3 :I fs o me o n es t e p so ns o me o n e ’ sf o o ti ti sc u s t o ma r yf o rt h eo t h e rp e r s o nt os t e po nt h e i r st oa vo i df u r t h e rc o n f l i c t . 4 : Ab i r t h d a ys h o u l dn e v e rb ec e l e b r a t e db e f o r et h ea c t u a lb i r t h d a y . ( Ib e l i e v et h a t ) 5 :Pu t t i n gag l a s sd o wna f t e rat o a s twi t h o u td r i n k i n gf r o mi t . 6 : Asf o rt h ee x USSRp r o p a g a n d a , mymo t h e rs t i l lwon ’ tl e tmeh o l dh e a v yt h i n g sa ss h eb e l i e ve st h i swi l lma k emei n f e r t i l e , t h es a meg o e sf o rs i t t i n go nc o l ds u r f a c e s . Al t h o u g ht h e r ea r ec o u n t l e s sa mu s i n g , a n e c d o t a lt h i n g st h a ta n y o n eg r o wi n gu pi na ne a s t e r nEu r o p e a nf a mi l yc a nt e l lyo u, t h e r e a r es o memo r eh a r s ho n e s , wh i c hi swh ymo mmyi s s u e sa r e n ’ tu n c o mmo n . Fo ro n e , b o d yd y s mo r p h i a . I ' v ea l wa y sb e e nh a p p ywi t hmyb o d ya n dy e tmymo t h e rs t i l lma n a g e dt ot e l lmeIh a vef a ta n k l e s . I t ' st h o s ei n s e c u r i t i e st h a ty o u n e v e rk n e wy o us h o u l dh a v et h a te a s t e r nEu r o p e a nf a mi l i e sg i f tu p o ny o u . Av e r yc o mmo nc o mp l i me n ti ne a s t e r nEu r o p e , p a r t i c u l a r l yb u tn o te x c l u s i v e l ya mo n gwo me ni sac o mme n t a r yo nl o s i n gwe i g h t . Iwa sp e t r i f i e dwh e nIb r o u g h taf r i e ndh ome t omymo t h e ra n dmymo mt o l dh e rs h el o o k e dl i k es h eh a dl o s twe i g h t . Lu c k i l yt h i sf r i e n dwa sf r o mKa z a k h s t a na n dd i d n ’ tt a k e i tl i k eh o wmo s twe s t e r n e r swo u l d , a s s u mi n gt h a ti tme a n tt h e yu s e dt ob ef a t . Th e n , t h e r e ’ st h ee mo t i o n l e s sa n db l u n tf o r mo fp a r e n t i n g . Yo us e et h e s ewe s t e r ns h o wswh e r emo t h e r sa r eh a p p ya l lt h et i me a n de x c i t e dwh e nt h e i rk i dg e t saB, t h i si sn o tc o mmo na mo n ge a s t e r nEu r o p e a nf a mi l i e s . An y t h i n gs h o r to fp e r f e c t i o na n dy o u g e tt h eg u i l tt r i po fwh a tt h e yh a dt og ot h r o u g hd u r i n ga n da f t e rt h eUSSR, wh i c hIa mb yn ome a n su n d e r mi n i n g . So mef o o d s h o r t a g e swe r es ob a dt h a tmymo t h e r ' sf r i e n di nr e c o l l e c t i o nd e s c r i b e dh e r s e l fa sl u c k ys i n c eh e rd a dwa ss e v e r e l yi n j u r e d , r e s u l t i n gi nt h e mg e t t i n gs l i g h t l ymo r ef o o d . Th eg u i l tt r i p sd i dwo r kv e r ywe l l , a sIwa st e r r i f i e do fp e r f o r mi n gp o o r l ya ts c h o o l a n dh a v en o we n d e du pa tUCL, h o we v e r , t h es t e r e o t y p eo fn e e d i n gt od oma t h so rb e c o mead o c t o rwa s n ’ tt r u ei nmyf a mi l ya s d e mo n s t r a t e db ymys o c i o l o g yd e g r e e .
Ac o n f e s s i o nIh a v et oma k et h o u g hi st h a tIa mn o tat r u eEa s t e r nEu r o p e a n . Ic a n ’ td ob a l l e tt os a v emyl i f e , Id o n ’ t p l a yt h ep i a n o , a n dI ' ma tb e s ta v e r a g ea tc h e s s . Th a t ’ sn o tt os a yt h a tmymo t h e rd i d n ’ tt r y . Id i df i v ey e a r so fb a l l e t b e f o r emymo t h e rf i n a l l yc a met os e eap e r f o r ma n c e , s a wwh a ts h ewa sp a y i n gf o r , a n dl e tmeq u i t . Pe r h a p sIs h o u l d h a v el i s t e n e dt oh e ra b o u tb a l l e ta n ds wi mmi n gh e l p i n gmyp o s t u r ea sId on o wh a v emi l ds c o l i o s i s ;o n eo ft h emo s t f r u s t r a t i n gt h i n g sa b o u te a s t e r nEu r o p e a nmo t h e r si sh o wt h e ya l wa y ss e e mt ob er i g h t . Asf o rt h ep i a n o , Is o me h o w we a s e l l e dmywa yo u to fl e s s o n sa f t e raf e wy e a r s , a n df o rc h e s s , s o mer a n d o mt e a c h e rs h et o o kmet oo n ee v e n i n g wa sn o ti mp r e s s e dwi t hme , s oId o d g e dab u l l e to nt h a to n e . Al li na l l , Il o v emymo t h e r . Il o v emyEa s t e r nEu r o p e a n c u l t u r e . Ho we v e r , g r o wi n gu pi nWe s t e r nc o u n t r i e s , Ih a v e a tt i me sf e l to s t r a c i s e do ra si fmyf a mi l yd i d n ’ tl o v e mea smu c h , s i mp l yb e c a u s et h e ywe r eh a r s h e ra n d mo r es t o i ct h a nt h ewe i r da l wa y se n e r g i s e d Ame r i c a n sy o us e eo nTV. Th eb i g g e s tb e n e f i t , h o we v e r , i sa l wa y sb e i n gs u r r o u n d e db ys t r o n g p o we r f u lwo me n , wh e t h e rt h a twa smymo t h e r , g r a n d mo t h e r , o rt h e i re a s t e r nEu r o p e a nf r i e n d s .
byMagno l i aThai n
byAnnaMar i aPapaoi k onomou