Christmas TV listings

Christmas TV listings

Here’s everything that will be showing this Christmas on the TV set you don’t own.

The Partisan- A heartwarming fantasy film about a man who budges on his long-held political convictions after being confronted with contrary evidence. Critics are calling it “completely implausible”, and “I went in intending to hate it, and that’s exactly what I did.”

All The Presents Men- Following last year’s scandalous revelations about the workhouse conditions at the Santa’s workshop comes this thrilling dramatisation of real-life events. Danny DeVito plays “Deep Snow”, the elf whistleblower who blew the lid on the Santa operation (having made both the whistle and the lid himself ).

Bad Santa 2 - Look, who even knows at this point. A Daily Mail review gave it: “****”, which we’re guessing is a bleeped-out expletive.

Blind Hate: Topical new game show in which blindfolded minorities must decide whether a guest hurling insults at them is racist or just expressing genuine economic anxiety. For other politically-themed game shows, see: the White House special of I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here!, an NSA-sponsored season of Big Brother, and, of course, the Pointless New Year’s edition, Oh God, It’s All So Pointless.