Issue 80- Christmas 2021

The

Cheese Grater

Issue 80 - Winter 2021 cheesegratermagazine.org facebook.com/uclcheesegrater Here’s to another year of the boring 20s! Read our festive 80th issue to avoid the fact that your 20s are also going to be supremely mediocre.

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News & Investigations

No Report, No Support : How UCL Fails Victims of Racism “It was obvious that this was someone that has never had to be around black people their entire life” Anna Maria, Lily Peng, Neil Majithia, and Tony Yang In early November, employees at Mully’s Bar discovered Swastikas drawn onto the walls of its bathroom with a caulk gun. This is the most recent example of a rise in racial hostility at UCL. Earlier this year, the Bartlett School of Architecture, ranked second best in the world, received multiple allegations of sexism and racism from staff, along with former and current students.

One victim recalled how “students at the Bartlett, who came from all-boys public schools in London, called me the ‘whitest’ black person they had met. To them, studying architecture at a top school like UCL was a white and middle-class thing, not a place for a mixed-race, British, Black Caribbean woman with a working-class heritage.”

Subsequently, Professor Sasha Roseneil, UCL Pro-Provost for Equity and Inclusion, responded with an ambiguous statement. She acknowledged the prevalence of racism and sexism within the institution and detailed UCL’s genuine efforts towards gender equality. However, the statement compounded racism under “bullying and harassment” and neglected to highlight any targeted measures against racial discrimination.

The lack of decisive action regarding racism at the Bartlett is just one example.

In late 2019, UCL pledged to combat anti-semitism, promising to adopt the International Holocaust Remembrance Alliance’s (IHRA) definition in full.

Yet, in December 2020, its Academic Board rejected this decision, deciding

to seek an alternative definition due to concerns that it suppressed criticisms of Israel. While criticisms over the definition are justified, this highlights yet another instance of the university offering a weak response to racism. Instead of taking decisive action to combat record levels of hate against Jewish students, it promised a policy that it could not enact. It seems that UCL prioritises rhetoric, often misinformed, over effective action.

Moreover, UCL was notably late in creating a comprehensive, universitywide response system regarding racism in the community. The first initiative from the university that can be described as such is ‘Report + Support’, an online platform that was launched as part of ‘Full Stop ’-- the university’s anti-bullying and sexual misconduct campaign -- in February 2019. The platform is described as an online tool where students can report “issues of bullying, harassment, or sexual misconduct” either anonymously or by personally contacting an advisor.

However, the system is marked by a serious flaw. According to the Report + Support website, the university’s decision to take action after receiving a report depends on “how you choose to report it.” This refers to the vastly differing outcomes between reports that are filed anonymously versus those that include the victim’s contact details; reports which include identifying details such as name, UCL ID, and email address have a significantly higher probability of being turned into formal cases. Though the website claims that patterns that emerge across anonymous reports will lead HR staff to “initiate

conversations” within the departments in question, it also plainly states that “no further action can be taken” in the individual cases.

Therefore, if anonymous reports lead to no substantial action being taken, it is important to determine why students may choose to report anonymously at all. In UCL’s 2020-2021 Annual Report on Bullying, Harassment, and Sexual Misconduct, it was revealed that 17% of all anonymous victims were “worried about retaliation,” 16% were concerned that this incident “might affect [their] current/future career” and 15% believed that “nothing would be done”. These discouraging numbers allude to students’ lack of trust in the institution’s ability to protect them and their identities.

Such mistrust may also lead to underreporting of incidents in the first place, especially in the case of microaggressions, which can be defined as “the everyday slights, indignities, put downs and insults that people of colour, women, LGBT populations or those who are marginalised experience in their day-to-day interactions with people”.

A victim of microaggression, wishing to remain anonymous, shared their story with The Cheese Grater. While in their room, their flatmate repeatedly asked them to put on rap songs they described as “proper ghetto”, insisting that the student would recognize them because of their ethnicity; the flatmate proceeded to ask questions about the student’s familial and financial background, while mocking them with a stereotypical accent from Nigeria, the

News & Investigations student’s home country. They decided against reporting it, as that flatmate was someone they would “live with and see every day”.

Instances as such illustrate a collective shift in student attitudes regarding reporting microaggressions towards dismissal -- as a result, many of these behaviours go unchallenged.

The Annual Report substantiates this, as most reports received highlighted “more overt behaviour,” with microaggressions named directly “only a few times,” suggesting that subtle behaviours are not regarded as “serious enough to be reported.”

The current failings of UCL in preventing and punishing racially motivated incidents are made all the more disgraceful by its historic and current ties to racists. Despite efforts to ‘Decolonise the Curriculum’, the university is still haunted by its colonial ties in its insufficiently diverse academic curriculum and negligence in renaming the Petrie Museum (named after Flinders Petrie who had worked closely with Francis Galton and Karl Pearson). Furthermore, just this year, UCL apologised for its historic role in the “development, propagation and legitimisation of eugenics.”

The Cheese Grater Winter 2021 3 While these historic issues are problematic enough, the administration continues to be embroiled in a racist scandal. Most recently, in November, it was reported that UCL has been the beneficiary of funding from the Alexander Mosley Trust, whose funds largely stem from the personal fortune of Oswald Mosley, the late leader of the British Fascists. Mosley was infamous for presiding over anti-Semitic attacks against Jewish people in the UK. How UCL accepted these donations and whether it even detected their problematic nature is yet to be seen.

But, it is evident that this fits into a pattern of the administration making empty promises to appease students of colour but failing to take decisive action to protect them. Thus, it is perhaps no wonder that many victims of raciallyaggravated incidents do not trust their university to protect them, opting to remain anonymous or not report at all, which, in turn, may empower racists on campus to act out and go unpunished.

While the new Provost’s administration may seek to wipe its hands of this pattern of racial collaboration, its ardent free speech policy leaves little hope for the future.

In light of rising anti-semitism at universities across the UK, Michael

Spence’s commitment to defending free speech, including Holocaust denial, as long as it does not break the law, is disturbing. While he clarified that he would not himself invite a denier to speak, he also contended that “​​I’m just not in the business of censorship. And I don’t think the university should be in the business of censorship.”

Such a dogmatic allegiance to freedom of speech hardly aids in combating a culture of racism, and indeed may have the opposite effect.

The anti-semitic defacing of a bathroom at UCL is just the latest reported incident of racism at the university. It reflects the administration’s persistent failure to adequately diagnose and treat an endemic culture of racism.

Not only have responses to complaints about institutional racism been myopic and misinformed, but the measures in place for reporting them are insufficient.

The preference for anonymous reports suggests a fundamental mistrust in the university by victims of hate crimes, possibly informed by its persistent ties with racists and blind faith in free speech. *UCL has been contacted for comment.

SU’s Solidarity Shortcomings + a Guide to Union Politics Alfie Pannell and Samir Ismail On December 1st, thirty-odd students convened in a rented basement room in the Building Centre on Store Street for an open forum with striking staff. In an impassioned speech that was met with enthusiastic cheers and applause, Sean Wallis, UCL’s University & College Union (UCU) President, called for solidarity between the twoparties: “we are in a battle for the future of the planet… it’s time to make a difference, it’s time to work together.”

While the conference featured many outspoken student allies well-versed in union politics, including members of Young Labour and the Marxist Society, the level of turnout was feeble. It reflected an increasingly familiar trend of student apathy and disengagement with the staff labour movement.

In the same meeting, one pupil summarised the general confusion by students about the strikes. She said, “I don’t know… what’s happening with the UCU. What exactly is the

Students’ Union? I only have limited information; I only read emails to a certain degree.”

Indeed, student participation in SU politics is at a dismal level. This is perhaps most apparent in the fact that many positions in the recent elections were vacant or featured a single candidate.

Thirteen student representative posts had no candidates at all, including those for student media and club and society welfare. Such disillusionment reflects a widespread and consequential

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fact of campus politics: many students simply do not understand how UCL’s Students’ Union (SU) works. This confusion may explain why there was insufficient dissent when the Union voted to oppose the strikes; because students are unaware of how SU decisions are made, they may assume that it automatically always serves their best interest. Further, it is possible that students did not even hear about the vote due to their wholesale disengagement with the Union.

The context of this vote is concerning enough: a rushed meeting that lacked a third of the members of the Union Executive and with a six against four consensus opposing the strikes. Johara Meyer, The SU Sustainability Officer, was one of the ten in attendance.

She argues that “the only reason why [the vote] was pushed through… was because they said that ‘we have to take a position on this’.”

Besides the questionable basis of the vote, the resulting position opposing the strikes appears to be out of touch; a recent study by the National Union of Students suggests that 73% of pupils backed the action while only 9% opposed the strikes. Although students certainly have a right to oppose the strikes, Meyer argues that decisions of this magnitude should be taken in a democratic manner. Consequently, she backed calls for a referendum, asserting that “this is a decision that the students should make and should not be in the hands of Sabbatical Officers” who “don’t reflect” the needs of the student body.

In spite of the SU’s decision, striking members of UCL-UCU persevered in their hope for student solidarity.

Beyond persuading pupils to join the picket line, as well as hosting forums like the one at the Building Centre, a key slogan read ‘Our Working Conditions Are Your Learning Conditions.’

Furthermore, the ‘Defend Education’

march on the final day of action - for now - saw staff and students join arms in solidarity with the cause.

In an interview with The Cheese Grater, Jack Saunders, a UCU Representative for the History Department, said of student solidarity: “I do get the sense that there is a lot of support, [but] it’s never going to be universal, people are always going to have different views.” He proceeded to highlight the importance of the SU’s role, arguing, “The Students’ Union hasn’t been supportive and I encourage students to engage with their Union and think about what they want their Students’ Union politics to be.”

Many students have already demonstrated such engagement and are lobbying for a change in the Union.

Some pupils, such as Daria Duda, have emerged as leading representatives of students backing the strikes. In the Building Centre forum, she called for pupils to sign a petition to force the SU to reconsider their position on the strikes. Later that week, speaking to an Anthropology Department ‘teach out’, Duda celebrated the “joyous” news that the petition passed the required threshold.

Other activists, such as Sergio Iglan with the Marxist Society, were optimistic about students’ openness to the cause. He asserted that, “there are some students who you aren’t going to be able to convince but… when you explain to them why we’re here, why we’re doing what we’re doing, people tend to show their solidarity and support teachers.”

Further student support for the movement is evident in the recent elections of Student Trustees - the most senior SU position for current pupils.

Of the 21 candidates, only four ran on a pro-strike platform. Their unsubtle but evidently effective slogan “SU Stop Scabbing” led two of them, Meg Day

News & Investigations

and Jenna Ali, to be elected. In a recent press release, Ali said, “Students voted “SU Stop Scabbing” in a demonstration of support for the UCU strikes as well as disgust for the official position of the SU on strike action.” While her claim accurately reflects the symbolism of the two Trustees’ victory, the “Stop Scabbing” clan does only constitute half of Trustee seats. However, their relative success among the 21 candidates is somewhat promising for the cause, further indicating that it possesses democratic backing.

The efforts of staff to persuade student camaraderie thus appear to be reinforced by the actions of pro-strike students. While the overall support for strikes among UCL students is difficult to gauge without a referendum, the work of outspoken and engaged pupils, including that of newly-elected officials, suggest that there is hope for greater solidarity.

Nevertheless, in light of the failures of the SU to support the strikes and many students’ paralysis in challenging the Union, it appears more important than ever for pupils to understand how the Union works. The following analysis by The Cheese Grater’s Students’ Union correspondent, Samir Ismail, deconstructs the inner workings of the SU and explains the functions of this elusive body.

UCL Students’ Union: Inside Out The Students’ Union exists, selfevidently, to promote student interest, to be our official united voice, and to provide places for pupils to meet for social, cultural, sporting, and recreational activities.

To understand the separate sections of the Union, it is important to demystify the different roles that exist within it.

At the top of the Union apparatus

News & Investigations

are the Sabbatical Officers or ‘Sabbs’.

The six officers are the Activities and Engagement Officer, Education Officer, Equity Officer, Postgraduate Officer, Union Affairs Officer, and the Welfare and Community Officer. The Sabbs are employed full time, and with the support of the full-time Union staff, work on projects in their corresponding departments and regularly meet with senior UCL management.

Working closely with the Sabbatical Officers, we find the four Student Trustees. They exist to be direct representatives of the student body on the Board of Trustees. Any student is eligible for this position. Per the UCLU memorandum and articles of association, there are currently only four Student Trustees even though there is a maximum of six positions. It was in 2015 that the Board voted to decrease the number of Student Trustees, thus reducing direct student representation on the Board.

Next are the Student Officers.

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There are fifteen Student Officers in total, with varying briefs. Four of them are Minority Officers, each heading up a liberation network vital in ensuring minority protection in the Students’ Union. These networks, namely the Women’s Network, the Black and Minority Ethnic Students’ Network, the LGBT+ Network and the Disabled Students’ Network, are all created so students can self-organise to defend their rights and challenge discrimination. Along with the other eleven officers, they serve on Policy Zones and a select few on the Union Executive. Student Officers are elected alongside the Sabbs in term two.

In addition to Student Officers, there are Student Representatives.

These positions exist for faculties, halls, societies, sports, volunteering and welfare. There were approximately sixty-five Student Representatives elected in the recent election but there were some offices that saw no candidates. The Representatives are responsible for promoting the interests

of their constituents to the Union and at Policy Zone meetings, as well as being entitled to vote on issues at these meetings.

Considering these key stakeholders - the Sabbs, Student Trustees, Student Officers and Student Representatives - we can begin to examine the broad structure of Union politics.

The foundational institution of Union politics is the ‘Policy Zones’.

These are run by all 15 Student Officers and the Student Representatives.

There are three Policy Zones: Education, Activities, and Welfare and Community. Each Zone brings together Officers and Representatives from their relevant areas to help communicate student issues and make an active effort to innovate new ideas for the Union and improve student life.

These Policy Zones also each elect an Officer to sit on the Union Executive.

The Union Executive is the official voice of the student body. It is made

Contributors to this issue: Alfie Pannell, Anna Maria Papaoikonomou, Anushka Barthwal, Ella Ticktin-Smith, Emilie Mussbach, Lily Peng, Juliette Grieve, Neil Majithia, Pia Mehdwan, Rob Davidson, Rusheen Bansal, Ryan Ratnam, Samir Ismail, Tania Tang, and Tony Yang

6 Winter 2021 The Cheese Grater up of the six Sabbatical Officers, six Student Officers, generally including the Minority Officers, and three more Student Officers chosen from each Policy Zone. The Union Executive is responsible for setting Union policy and is divided into the same three zones: Education, Activities, and Welfare and Community. A recent example is the controversial decision not to support the UCU strikes. Furthermore, the Executive oversees the implementation of policy, supervises the SU’s democratic processes, ensures Officer accountability, and decides when to put policy to student body vote.

At the apex of the SU, we find the Board of Trustees. The Board of Trustees has 13 members: the six Sabbatical Officers, three External

Society Bitch

I’m not sure what grinds my gears more: the callousness of holding a series of parties in Downing Street during lockdown and laughing about it, or the fact I wasn’t invited. Cheese, wine, and quizzes can only get you so far, and my wit and general allure are unparalleled.

Unfortunately, the same can’t be said for a number of individuals in UCL societies. So whack on your sexy Santa hat, snuggle up to the warmth of EFS in flames, and immerse yourself in some festive goss.

Scala is the new home of UCL’s sports night following the Girls Night In campaign, so Soc Bitch was delighted to learn that its first night on the 18th of November was fun and games for

Trustees and four Student Trustees. The Board exists to keep the operations of the Union in check and does so through numerous committees: the Risk and Audit Committee, the Governance Committee, the Finance Committee, and the Remuneration Committee.

These committees are appointed at the discretion of the Board of Trustees. Generally, their membership consists of an External Trustee, one or more Sabbatical Officers, Student Trustees and an external advisor where appropriate.

The Board of Trustees has a range of powers to ensure the Union is running within its guidelines. It has the right to override any decision or policy passed by the Students’ Union membership.

The governing documents of the

all involved… Oh wait, here comes a member of UCL Men’s Hockey armed with a sense of entitlement and reports of him sexually assaulting students. He’s been suspended pending investigation, and Soc Bitch has half a mind to knee him in the face without a gum shield. But why fix the sexual harassment problem at its root when you can just move venues?

If the key to theatre is conflict, then Drama Soc have achieved a clean sweep at the Oscars with the latest Drama drama. The director of Machinal, their term one Bloomsbury show, was told to step down following a hearing with the Society’s top dogs and the Union. Soc Bitch has heard reports he was incompetent and made cast members feel uncomfortable to the point they would have dropped out if he stayed on. When the shows were eventually performed, he stood on his chair, faced the audience, and took a bow before thanking them for their kind comments on a show he hadn’t directed - every night. In his defence,

News & Investigations Union give caveats to when the Board can do this; however, these caveats are essentially guidelines, and much is left to their discretion. Hence, while the Board usually assumes a backseat role, their authority is boundless, and they can, hypothetically, disregard the will of the student body at large.

Additionally, the Board of Trustees selects and employs a Chief Executive who manages day-to-day operations with hundreds of staff and millions of pounds in turnover.

In a quick summary: The ultimate authority is the Board of Trustees, the day-to-day running is left to the Chief Executive alongside the Sabbatical Officers, and the Union Executive exists to set policy for the Union and oversee the Policy Zones.

he evidently had the wild imagination necessary for the theatrical world.

There’s no place like home and boy do I feel at home reporting on EFS. I’d like to wholeheartedly thank the former president for messaging everyone on CG committee (past and present) to inform them that my article stating that the Union voted to uphold every allegation against them wasn’t true “because it’s not official yet”.

Unfortunately, he hasn’t got in touch since he lost his appeal. While hosting initiations, conducting inappropriate interviews, and withholding information about a dodgy event may give you a lifetime ban from holding any UCL committee position ever, Soc Bitch knows his job at JP Morgan or whatever is still safe and sound. But if he fancies a career change, I hear Prime Ministers tend to have a penchant for aresholery too. Merry Christmas to all, but especially to you Mr Ex-President.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I shall depart to drown myself in mulled wine.

Voices

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Government Cuts to the Arts: A Student’s Perspective Juliette Grieve In July 2021, Gavin Williamson, the former Secretary of State for Education, announced the Conservative party’s plans to cut the Office for Students (OfS) budget for arts courses by 50%.

The government contended that more funds should be prioritised for STEM courses such as Medicine and Engineering. Any rational individual would agree with the logic behind this, especially following the COVID-19 crisis, where the safety of our country rested on the efficiency of the National Health Service and its critical workers.

However, as an Archaeology student (a subject included in the government’s definition of “art courses”), I cannot help but have a personal discomfort with the messaging behind Williamson’s decision. When the world is thrown into a crisis and funding is presented as a limited resource, it is easy to see how the arts have been placed on the back burner; of course, a theatre performance is not imperative to our immediate survival. However, despite the government’s minimisation of their importance, the arts are, in fact, crucial to human health and happiness.

Considering the government’s decision beyond the pandemic, I believe that the rejection of the arts as essential to human survival is potentially dangerous in the long term. And as always, it is not the leaders of the Conservative party who will face the repercussions of these decisions.

The OfS has explained that there are no cuts to student loans, only to the additional budget that the government body grants universities for teaching.

Usually, universities receive “£243 per full-time student per year” for courses that require more resources, and hence, are more “expensive to teach”.

Universities will now receive £121.50 per student in Performing Arts,

Creative Arts, Archaeology, and Media Studies. The OfS has insisted that the media outcry is exaggerated because these budget cuts will ‘only’ equate to a loss of 1% of total funding per student if tuition fees are included. However, the effects of these cuts extend beyond the financial constraint they will create; it is crucial to situate the OfS decision within the wider context of arts education in the U.K. Just last year, undergraduate study in Archaeology at the University of Sheffield, a world-leading department ranked 29th globally in 2020, was terminated.

Professor Umberto Albarella, who had worked in the department since 2004, explained that the closure was brought on by low student enrollment and years of poor management by the University.

He suggests that these failings occurred amidst the backdrop of “the government incentivising subjects such as science and engineering at the expense of arts and humanities”. During Albarella’s tenure, permanent teaching staff numbers in the department were reduced from 29 to 11. Thus, the OfS cuts appear as one more strike to the arts, with no sign of them being the last.

Moreover, the negative messaging behind the OfS decision will inevitably permeate into public consciousness.

The arts being presented as unimportant and financially burdensome will undoubtedly further discourage young people from disadvantaged backgrounds from pursuing careers in these sectors.

There are already significant issues with regards to equitable access to the arts; data released by the Higher Education Statistics Agency (HESA) earlier this year revealed that of the five higher education institutions with the greatest proportion of privately educated undergraduates, four were specialised in the arts. The OfS is only adding to these disparities in education instead

of helping solve them. The government is propagating the view that art should only be a frivolous bourgeois hobby through its continual devaluation of artistic professions. This rhetoric greatly undermines the importance of the creative industries to our national economy (11bn annually) and the communal benefits of widening access to the arts. Such benefits include the expression and documentation of marginalised experiences, the deconstruction of elite ‘high’ culture and ultimately the transgression of limiting artistic boundaries.

In addition to these broader considerations, I am anxious about Williamson’s decision for personal reasons. When considering my own future, my thoughts are mired with the simmering pressure that my ambition to pursue Archaeology to graduatelevel (and beyond) may not result in a stable career due to increasingly limited academic posts. I have also spent the last two years, like all of us, feeling the loss and frustration of not being able to access the arts in the usual ways due to the pandemic. Despite these challenges and obstacles, my appreciation of the arts has only grown; studying Archaeology has taught me the importance of heritage, art, and culture in shaping identities, manipulating power and communicating joy. From the 73,000-year-old cross-hatching in the Blombos Caves to the spectacular Olmec heads of Mesoamerica, I have no doubt that art is an essential component of the human experience.

Ultimately, a strong sense of optimism remains. Williamson’s announcement feels like an injustice because I believe there is a better solution. The government is increasingly feeding into the commodification of education by stifling subjects whose benefits cannot be exclusively financially quantified.

By radically reassessing the potential economic and social benefits of the

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arts and by committing to broadening access to them, the government may have an opportunity to reverse the

detrimental messaging of the OfS cuts.

If studying the past 200,000 years of human history has taught me anything,

Voices

it is that the arts are important, even if the Conservative party will have you believe otherwise.

Who is BAME? Not Me. Ryan Ratnam BAME is a term that has been in use for some years but shot up to the headlines during the COVID-19 pandemic. It stands for Black, Asian and Minority Ethnic. You may also hear BME, which is Black and Minority Ethnic. Ultimately, both terms cover the same group of people: non-whites. BAME is a term that lazily conflates millions of individuals’ racial experiences and creates an artificial community in reference to the white majority. It reduces both the achievements and struggles of different groups and assumes a shared alliance between all ethnic minorities that is sadly far from true. It’s high time the term is ditched in favour of more focused exploration into specific ethnic minorities, rather than this catch-all category.

A blog by the government’s own Civil Service draws question marks around perceptions of BAME and what it even means. While she was former Deputy Head of the Race Disparity Unit, Zamila Bunglawala bemoaned the term BAME, citing that very few people out of a survey of 300 could actually recognise, let alone define, said term. On top of this, she noted that white ethnic minorities such as Roma, Travellers and more are not included within BAME despite being some of the most marginalised groups. This only reinforces the idea that at its core, BAME simply means non-white, an offensive and embarrassing realisation.

Being defined in opposition to others and in the negative renders my racial identity redundant and entirely homogeneous with others who I have completely different experiences from.

During the pandemic’s bleakest

points, I joined the many people sitting down at home to watch the daily Coronavirus briefing. Much of this broadcast was rife with findings that highlighted how the BAME community was up to twice as likely to die from COVID-19. However, the way these revelations were expressed made them devoid of any meaning -it was unclear which specific minorities were being referenced and why they were more likely to die than others.

Many of the reasons identified were biological, such as the high proportion of BAME people with diseases that made COVID-19 worse. However, these generalisations were later proven misleading. For example, it was revealed that Bangladeshi people were some of the most likely to die because of a high density of diabetes, while this was not the same for other ethnic minorities. Evidently, combining these statistics together under BAME gave the impression that this was uniform across said minorities. Take a look at UCL’s own research infographic about the effect of COVID-19 on the young BAME community – it reduces any ethnic-specific information. Thus, in research and analysis, the term BAME proves to be reductive, actively veiling findings and misrepresenting data.

For many years, I had been largely apathetic to the term BAME, not necessarily endorsing it, but never criticising it. At first, it seemed like a handy way to talk about issues that affected all minorities. Only when I came to university did I really begin to think about BAME’s assumption of homogeneity across minorities. Although encountering different nationalities and multicultural backgrounds was certainly eye-opening and insightful, I did not

feel a connection to them simply on the basis of not being white. While I do identify with various individuals along the lines of friendship, hobbies, humour, academic interests and more, it is rarely our ethnic status that brings us together. The term BAME implies that the feeling of ‘otherness’, being non-white, is a sentiment that all ethnic minorities bond over. However, this community is largely imagined.

There exist people who are the same ethnicity as me who I cannot relate to in the slightest. Ethnicity is only one component of identity, constituting differing importance for different people. BAME both reduces ethnicity to a convenient label whilst also inflating its importance for some.

Racial minorities also do not necessarily live in harmony with each other on the shared value of not being white. They are able to perpetuate prejudices against each other and carry out discrimination in the same way that white individuals can (however, it may not be on the same systemic level). Moreover, there exist several dissimilarities within larger racial groups. For example, there are notable differences between the academic and career performances of ethnicities from across Asia. Ethnic minorities neither act nor perceive each other the same.

Therefore, the term BAME is a misrepresentative and useless way of describing ethnic minorities. It fences all those who are not white into an imagined community that hallucinates homogeneity of action, experience, perception and more. Even though UCL’s Student Union (SU) has elected BME Officers, the recent manifesto of those currently elected refers to general “combat[ting] against racism” and

Humour

reduction of the “attainment gap”. The lack of specificity in their aims only adds to the sweeping generalisations that BAME and BME create. I believe that the SU should split this role, differentiating between international and domestic students, given the completely different experiences they would have had regardless of ethnic

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lines. It is time that ethnic minorities stopped just being talked about and instead talked with. I hope that news media, academia and the general discourse surrounding ethnic disparities choose to refer to specific minorities, rather than generalising them when convenient. Failure to do so would be a disrespectful and lazy continuation of

the current racial apathy that forgoes a nuanced understanding. We can do more and we can do better, but first, the anchor that is the term BAME has to be cut.

*The BME officers have been contacted for comment.

Letter to the Editor Madam/Sir, Having lived on this earth for over two decades, my opinion on many things has evolved over time. However, there is one thing that has not changed: animal milk (e.g. from cows, goats, sheep, humans) is absolutely horrific, revolting, and grotesque.

It is my sincere belief that everyone who actively enjoys a glass of milk has secretly replaced it with a plant-based variant. Or it’s been a lifelong prank.

I am aware that, as someone who eats meat and cheese, I am being a tad hypocritical to a certain extent.

In conclusion, IF YOU LIKE COW MILK YOU ENJOY SUCKING ON A COW’S TEAT.

Sincerely, A Moo-dy Reader

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Socialising 101 for Dummies at Uni Disclaimer: a hearty amount of alcohol will make the next 7 steps much, much easier.

If they tell you they use Facebook, hiss and run away. (Editor’s note: I think I’m too old for this.)

1. Leave your room!

I know the world is a big, scary place, but wouldn’t you rather be lost in London at 4 A.M. with no shoes or phone than safely asleep in bed? Easy decision.

4. If you’re still struggling, hang around the laundry room.

There is no one more vulnerable than the kid trying to get the machine to start. Strike them when they’re down.

2. Next step, say hello!

A greeting can go a long way. On a night out, good spots for chatting places include queues, bathrooms, or queues for bathrooms.

Be warned, the next steps are significantly higher risk!

3. Get their Instagram handle.

1. Take a note from Disney.

Who needs a lot of friends when you can develop a heavy reliance on a man you met a day ago?

2. Write on the Teams chat during a lecture.

High exposure, but may lead to lifealtering humiliation.

3. Don’t be scared to get someone’s name wrong!

My flatmate called a boy named Karthik “Carsick” the whole night.

I don’t think that they’re friends, but it did make good content for this article.

Each step above has been tried and tested by me and my friends. How do you think we’re doing?

Pros and Cons of Going on that Hinge Date Pros

Cons

It’s a date

It’s a date

At least it’s a Hinge date, not Tinder It’s a Hinge date Might get along really well with this person!

Might get along really well with this person and then 20 years of marriage later, they leave you for someone half your age!

They’re literally just a stranger so if you don’t get along well, you don’t have to see them ever again.

They’re literally a stranger. Your mum would judge you so hard for meeting a stranger from the internet.

There will be a fun story to tell.

‘Fun’ might involve crime, stalking and/or death.

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You Hmmm…who are you? Based on your 18th century clothes, you must be some historical figure, someone most important.

You’re holding a walking stick between your legs. Suggestive much.

But why would you need a walking stick? Did you run through my mind long enough? Did I run through yours?

Of course not, your head is elsewhere.

You don’t seem to be happy here, in the Student Centre. You don’t like

change. You’re a homebody, and yet you want to be seen. Being in a glass box grants you a perfect view of your admirers. It gives you joy, doesn’t it?

You like to observe almost as much as I do.

You like attention, you CRAVE the attention from young and old, the locals and the newcomers. Okay, I bite.

I googled you the other day. Articles upon articles. You even have your own Wikipedia page . . . Jeremy Bentham.

You want to be seen, heard, known. Of

course, I must oblige.

Despite all this, you feel trapped in the spotlight, the glass box. I could offer you a see-through cage that’s more… spacious. And ventilated. I could give you the world if the Student Loans Company would allow it.

I know exactly what you need.

I’ll break you out.

I’ll do everything I must for… …you.

The Classics, Re-Reviewed Out with the old, in with the new: a Gen Z-millennial hybrid brings you an unwanted perspective on several ‘classics’ written by – you guessed it – white men.

War and Peace, Leo Tolstoy (1869) This book is impossible to read. Do not believe anyone who tells you they have read it. Within minutes you’ll be perplexed by the sheer number of Rostovs, Bezukhovs and Bolkonskys, and if you make it through that, you’ll be rewarded with another truckload of new characters. Look – I’m sure there’s something to it, I just don’t intend to find out what.

annoying. However, gay rights.

4/5 For Whom the Bell Tolls, Ernest Hemingway (1940) The near-constant commentary on the shape of Maria’s breasts was quite jarring (why do male authors always do this? Why do they always describe them as triangular??)

Nevertheless, I’m impressed that Hemingway held my attention for nearly five hundred pages of people sitting in caves.

Without a doubt, one of the dullest books out there. There’s no damned if you do, damned if you don’t: Just.

Don’t. Read. It. You already know what the phrase means, anyway.

0/5 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Roald Dahl (1964) Okay, this book isn’t a classic - yet.

But it has already had an undeniable influence on modern pop culture (see: 10% of the content on TikTok). Also, Grandpa Joe being bedridden for 20 years and then suddenly reviving for chocolate is deeply inspirational.

5/5 1/5 On the Road, Jack Kerouac (1957) Another tremendous bore. Does not deserve its association with an entire generation. My dad loves it though.

0/5 The Great Gatsby, F. Scott Fitzgerald (1925) Gatsby was the original simp, which is partly what made this book a classic.

Daisy is hugely underrated. Nick is

3/5 Brave New World, Aldous Huxley (1932) There’s nothing wrong with making your protagonist unlikeable – we all love an anti-hero – but it’s another thing to make them downright tedious.

Don’t name a character after Karl Marx unless they’re going to actually do something.

Paradise Lost, John Milton (1667) It’s not a novel, it’s not even prose, but I had to put it in, because this slaps hard. You don’t expect it to, but it does.

Admittedly, not an easy read, but worth it when you re-pledge your allegiance to radical feminism on account of how fucking irritating Adam is. Also, Satan is sexy here.

2/5 4/5 Catch-22, Joseph Heller (1961)

12 Winter 2021 The Cheese Grater

UCL Cheese Grater Magazine Society President—Maryam Badghisi president@cheesegratermagazine.org Editors-in-Chief—Ella Ticktin-Smith and Rusheen Bansal editor@cheesegratermagazine.org Investigations Editor—Alfie Pannell investigations@cheesegratermagazine.org Humour Editor—Tania Tang humour@cheesegratermagazine.org Online Editor—Stephanie Frank online@cheesegratermagazine.org Graphics Editor—Anushka Barthwal © Students’ Union UCL, 25 Gordon Street, London WC1H 0AY. Views expressed herein are not necessarily those of SU UCL or the editors.