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‫א‬ ‫ט‬ ‫פ‬ ‫ח‬ ‫ה‬ ‫ע‬ ‫כ‬ ‫ע‬ ‫ר‬ Issue 3

‫מחנה גן ישראל‬ ‫קיץ תשע“ב‬ Classifieds

Looking for T-shirts, please call 1-800-BOG-WAR If you need a working mike call 1-800-NOTHAPPENING Siddurim and Bencher grabbers now available! Call 1-800-GANOVIM Looking for writers who are not A Tefach Hecher Need a newsletter? 2 hour service now available! If you see someone sad, tell him to call 1-800-DO-NOTLEAVE-CAMP

Come to cocoa club and get half a Danish! Sponsored by the half Danish foundation. This newsletter is brought to you by the dedicated counselors of Section B+ CSZ CZG

Restrictions may apply.

‫מסעי‬-‫שבת קודש פרשת מטות‬

My Kup Veitug No words can describe the awesomeness that went on in camp this past week. But we’ll write it in a few short words, hopefully it will remind you of what took place. Shabbos was once again filled with Chayus, as we collected tickets for Sunday’s carnival. And ended off with a Shmoyonke about Sunday.

We were split into 3 teams: B e f i c h a , Bilvovcha and Laasoso. The competition was fierce from the start, with each team singing their cheers, and learning MBP. Tuesday we were treated to some scavengers, featuring Snags, Yoelis, Midgets, and more!

Sunday was visiting day (Aha!) and carnival day with mini golf, water fights, races, games, and much more!

That night we watched the first play. Mafia, kidnappings, but in the end it all turned out well. (Thanks to the umbrella man!)

We watched Halber Gebaken and found out who is stealing the baby.

The next day we had 2 more scavengers (with the umbrella man).

Monday seemed like a regular day, except the fact that people were stealing… and being sent to the director… BOG WAR!

Each team made a heart wrenching song, filled with emotion and overall beautifulness. The second play a

learning teacher spoke about Sheidim, Rambam, Chanukah and Purim. The third play was a very emotional story about the holocaust. That night the winners of Bog War were announced: LARONDE! After a good nights sleep, we spent a full day on roller coasters and everything else that goes on in the worlds greatest amusement park. Freezes, Pazatztas and more. It was defiantly the grandest trip ever! I wish I can write more but there is no room. A Gut Shabbos!

‫א טפח העכער‬

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Issue 3

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Get to know your staff Being that this newsletter is being made in the last minute, there was no time to find someone to interview, so instead I began to interview myself, here it goes: ATH: What is your name? ATH: A Tefach Hecher. ATH: camp?




ATH: Stop! ATH: Tell us about you life, how does it happen? ATH: Well first of all, I’m locked in a room most of the time, and my “creator” still doesn’t have a key to my room. ATH: So how does he create you? ATH: In the last minute.

ATH: Only on Friday nights.

ATH: Then what happens?

ATH: What about the rest of the week?

ATH: After being typed I’m shipped off to the main office on a little chip.

ATH: I am usually thrown all over the place, and ripped into many pieces, by the time it is the end of the week! ATH: What is your message to the campers?

ATH: Interesting, how does that feel? ATH: Very humbling. ATH: What’s next?

This week we asked the following question to 770 random campers and here are the results:

When will the winners of Bog War be announced?

ATH: Yes, it’s so sad, I hope they take me home with them.

4) Mug shot

ATH: Any final words? ATH: The next time you get me, keep in mind that I also have feelings just like you. On the other hand, I enjoy it when people read me and they enjoy it, it makes me feel so good! Most repeated song of the month:

78% When the head staff get wet, DUH!

(Actual wording may vary)

They prove this, by pointing out that all staff members do not

An interview with a lonely camper ATH: Why do you feel lonely? CMS: Nobody in my bunk likes me! ATH: How do you know? CMS: They always chase me out of the bunkhouse! ATH: What counselor do?



CMS: Nothing! He even helps them out! ATH: Why do you think they don’t like you?

Science for Oholei-Torah’nicks

Many disagree by claiming staff sleep in the staff lounge. This was quickly disproven after


ATH: The counselor who makes me can give me to them!

Love-Ville, Chochmo Binah Daas.

A panel of scientist have recently discovered that this all has to do with the fact that one grows while sleeping.

5) Holding a tripod with a hidden

ATH: How can they take you home?

34% They announced it in the park!

Coffee does not stop you from growing, rather it keeps you awake. Automaticity campers grow at a quicker pace than staff members.

hospital 3) The kidnapping of Mishy Mop

We’re soul expanders from

grow, as apposed to campers.

2) On the way back from the

ATH: Did you hear that some campers are leaving camp?

19% What’s Bog War?

If you drink coffee does that make you short or does it keep you awake or both?

1) Scenic family portrait

ATH: This is my favorite time, when they make hundreds of copies of me! It’s a huge family reunion!

researchers have discovered coffee in the above location, a few month ago. Although there seems to be a coffee shortage now, it goes mostly unnoticed since they painted everything yellow. Yellow rhymes with hello. Welcome to Oholei Torah!

CMS: Hmmm, maybe because I eat their nosh.


ATH: That’s it? CMS: Ummm, I also make noise in the bunkhouse after lights out, and I don’t let anyone sleep. ATH: That’s terrible! Why do you do that?

CMS: That’s just the way I am, I can’t do anything about it!

so big!

ATH: Where do sleep, if your counselor kicks you out of the bunkhouse?

CMS: Well, compared to me it’s very big!

[Insert Toichen here] CMS: I sneak into the bunkhouse when no one is looking. ATH: Do you play sports? CMS: No! ATH: Why not? CMS: Because I can’t catch a ball

ATH: It’s not so big!

ATH: How big are you? CMS: You don’t see? I’m just a couple of inches! ATH: You’re right! What’s your full name? CMS: Camper Mouse Shlita. ATH: Are you leaving camp for the second month! CMS: Hopefully! Because heard the GM got some traps!


ATH: Thank you for your time. Hey! Stop biting me, I’m just a piece of paper, I’M NOT FOOD! Just because a camper spilled some Babaganush on me… Stop!

3 Mattos