Merlin: a poem

a poem

MERLIN

Jason Blasso

MERLIN a poem

Jason Blasso

C H A RY B D I S P R E S S new york

Published by Charybdis Press New York 2017 Charybdis Press Some rights reserved Printed and bound in the USA 15 14 13 12 4 3 2 1 First Edition http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/4.0/

Poem, layout and design by Jason Blasso Merlin picture https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Coloured_ figures_of_the_birds_of_the_British_Islands_-_issued_by_Lord_Lilford_(6028615243).jpg Merlin is set in Warnock, CiscoSerif, Rockwell & Whitman www.charybdispress.com

Ich kreise um Gott, um den uralten Turm, und ich kreise jahrtausendelang; und ich weiss noch nicht: bin ich ein Falke, ein Sturm oder ein grosser Gesang.

I circle around God, around the ancient tower, And I circle a thousand years long; And I don’t know yet if I’m a falcon, a storm, Or a great song.

Rainer Maria Rilke Das Stundenbuch The Book of Hours

MERLIN

The poem is The poem is not The poem is The poem is not The thread It is Not the thread But is Something There Instead Follow it Cautiously Unknit The line A unit of time Unwind The skein Until Amazed You find The poem is Whole Unread The poem is True

Unseen Unknown Ni vu ni connu Come back The poem is here Ready Waiting To be read By you Is reading a choice?

The modern eye scans Slides over words’ Diminished spans Come back Where is the reader Ideal Watching Watchless Waiting?

Do you have time

Dear reader to read?

Or would you Rather raid My wordhoard?

Raid away Raider Reaver Raper Comer Goer Falsebeliever My words whored

What retains the eye?

High art, sayeth Joyce Rejoice Rejoice Read Joyce But who’s the time?

Watch Hangs heavy Scissor Hands And thread The poem is the thread Cut it Apropos of Atropos Snip Snip Tick Tick Tock You’re paid by the word Paid by the line Continue writing All will be fine There’s so much to say But no one to pay Attention At tension Neurotic Display

Is everyone talking Writing Blogging Writing Thoughts?

Who thought this could be lucrative?

Who thought anyone would’ve read a word?

Absurd What’s left to say?

Who’s to say?

Even the metadocument I sent and resent We must resent Can you hear those types?

Can you hear them type-talking in empty rooms?

Some have come too late Some too soon Let there be no regret What do we really want to say?

What’s so important anyway?

We know too much Too little Too much of too little It takes more to make a man today than the Seven Sages of Ancient Greece…

Gracian Grace

Climb the ladder You’re elected Climb the ladder Climbing Is this ascension?

But if I had hair to pull back Hair to play I’d be climbing Head downward Down The spire The tower The staircase Turning Involving Curling Deeper Into what I suppose Is something The body curls Curls Into something You can’t curl away into nothing When you’re something Fold into yourself

The whirlpool Charybdis Consistent Here, however Abovebelow The air is sweeter And knowledge Bores What the fuck do I do with this?

This knowing This curling The stomach turns NAUSEA The world turns NAUSEA I close my eyes To sleep And awake In the darkness

This isn’t despair

This must never be confused I am here

Present Before you READER I am the first READER The first editor And critic AUDIENCE of one The voice in the room Speaking too late too soon Don’t worry This isn’t despair Just the naked awareNess of me here Here Knowing I am here Knowing I am Here Here in the heart CORE

COEUR Care

Before you

Heidegger Tenderheart Cares Stares Stays It’s okay To know this To accept this No wonder The Christians Believe the body A punishment I accept this Accept myself here The hardship Of myself here THIS IS NO PUNISHMENT Just the tax levied On knowing That I’m here And I’m in no one’s debt But my own Parents made And left alone Alone We must surround Or find Companionship

Or design forgetting Tailored sleep Dull nepenthe Five fathoms deep Or eat What the Lotos Eaters eat Rhymes are companions Linked sounds As if by serendipity Found Makes The cacophone Harmon Ious I us Together It is the lone word That clashes and clangs Ignorant Sovereign Until in itself Innocent Replies So too the heart Echoes Hits walls resounds The heart shaped Batface Babyface Hears and harks

And lo in low light Navigates the dark Canine Stalagmite The cave mouth bites Earthmouth Sarcophagus I’m not ready for the grave Double mouthed earth Mother See See See me In the dark Something flutters in your womb I’m trying to speak Mother hear me Understand me I need you Need more than an empty ear An unhostile cave Echoes Echoes Echoes Echoes

Cave canem Become the mouth AGAIN Inevitable maw Inevitable maw Open portal Open door I am here To be devoured Kronos Kronos What time is it?

I am not a stone I am I Am I alone ?

I am Iamb On foot again I’ve found the floor Without much help from you or yours And this is all familiar I’ve been here and been here before Solitary Wandering In the maze Sans Minotaur

Father Bull The maze is empty There’s no clatter clatter No spiral spit No dung splatter Where are you Father Bull?

Inside mother Inside mother Again We all must enter her Again and again Doomed to repeat The dread of repeat Back to the quest Follow the thread Follow the thread that’s been left And master the maze To amaze the master Faster and faster Listen, The staccato feet Of rain So it’s the surface!

Marvelous sun!

Shine bright behind the clouds Let the greens Be greener now The sun laughs behind the clouds Laughs at being hid Laughs for teasing Laughs for fun Bid him tell him Out to come Come sport And dry them out And shadowrout Come Helios Heal us Sight the blind Come Bowed lips Of Apollo Throw your bolt I am Merlin Spiraling up the tower Fowl Fowler Fowling Form to form

Changing Changer Unchanged Loki laughing Python Jason Feathered serpent Ophidian Satan Lucifer Gog Magog Quetzalcoatl Whomever Let us dance Dance Dance Dance I only ask I only ask one thing NEVER BE ME Let me be me And give sport and chase

Chase my own Tail Well-heeled hound Obedient dog Ouroboros Cynosure Wagging Certain Winking Winking so you get my meaning Winking Flirting You must be other BE OTHER I demand you be OTHER than me So that I may love you And love myself For I cannot love myself directly Cannot love myself without metaphor I ask you I command you Be other than me I hold the dagger of disgust for me

The screw The sick worm Self-diseased With my own death My own knowing Be other than me Please So that I may die Separate from you As things must die Not because I want to Die But because this is what things must do Let me love you So that I might love myself better Live on Leave on I will return A revered revenant Glittering Gentian blue In the dusk of the gathering gloom Beware the bloom That is my doom I am alone Again In the room

Alone but surrounded I hear voices Hear you In the darkness The sound of your shoes Click Clack Clock The tick And the tock Gently Gently The cradle you rock Sing to me mother Sing me the blues The deep gentian blues With the deep gentian hues Mother I hear you I’m coming Home Father Father This is your throne Rising like mushrooms In the rooms of your home

I am here I am here But I am not Alone Feel this Feel the damp lap Lap Lapping Wave upon wave Mother return Lapping Lapping Always lapping My head in your crotch Crowning The King is Born!

The sun arisen Arise From the warmth of your thighs Thank you Thank you Alack Alack

I’ve come back Here again I smile Bow Repeat Smile Applaud Sit in my seat This show is endlessly entertaining Here comes the sun Goes the moon Waxing and waning Drawing the tide Pulling Kneading The tit of the tide White moon Smile wide Mother Suckle Galaxy I am infinitely wide Babe Crone Man Woman Groom Bride Smile upon me

And I’ll sing you a tune Father Sun And Mother Moon I love you I love you Forever Here Us Now Together I love you Let me say And not save Let me say So you’re aware Before the grave I love you Thank you We will meet again Again and again And I will always love you As you have always loved me Praise Praise Praise In every word Your name

Your name AMEN AMEN AMEN Again and again AMEN Until the name of name is NAME And that which is sundered Sees itself whole again Elder mirror Father Sun Mother Moon Open your ears I whistle a tune Soundless Wordless Nameless Listen It’s you Ursound Unsound Superior Noise

I open my orifice Accept you As donation Tax or tithe The hollow clink of coin Does in the empty purse adjoin Us together Face to face Anti-Janus Jay sun Looking Healing Into self The spiral worms Death stare If looks could kill I see myself Beyond the mirr or Beyond the pale I am there riding Hooded Pale horse Rider Falcon Hooded Let loose Spiral Spiral

Spurn the gyre The ascent digs deeper The sun’s in my guts The sun’s in my veins Rise Rising Give way to the fire Miraculous Over me I myself mitred and crowned Volcano Magma Empty Smolder Spent Caldera Flattened Terminal moraine I lay sleeping under ice Prince Princess Groom Blushing bride Waiting for the rule of winter to subside Here I come Blushing Laughing

Nubile From the rime of ice The air The air Cool in the thaw White skies Black crows Caw

Caw Caw

I’m the crows in your eyes Leaping in corners Leaping aging I’m the crow you despise Early bird gets the worm Early worm gets the bird Less absurd To get the bird Wriggle Tiggle Deep inside The bird The earth What differs I hold strong

To my mirth Bird laughs Earth laughs Caw Caw Caw Frozen miles Frozen smiles Thaw Thaw Thaw Mother I’m laughing But not to be rude Mother I’m laughing At your sepulchritude Mother dare you intrude Upon the poet’s solitude Mother I love you Mother I’m home Welcome the worm To the heart of your home Mother I’m home Hearth Earth Death Birth

I’m home home home Father You’re in the skies Father I remember you Bearded Autumnal Venereal Shaking Never laughing Stern Never laughing BOOM BOOM BOOM All through the room Stomping Sullen Never laughing Hunting Stomping Hunting And stomping Laughs and cries But the BOOM BOOM BOOM Is funny father Bellicose Bluster FROOM FROOM FROOM

From Further Farther Away from your room Sullen monster Can’t hear the sun behind All the FING FANG FOOM Father Bluster You must muster The gust blaster Gut buster and laughter To master the moods Levity in Gravity Bitter in Sweet Up and down Round and round Hands and feet Turn turn turn Turn and return Turn goes the earth Let’s take turns With the mirth Dance Daddy Dance Faster

It’s okay To be gay Laughter Laughter Dance Faster It’s all A disaster Where none can be saved Laughter Laughter Dance Faster The self is enslaved The self in the other The father The mother Dances the round Adieu Adieu The dew on the ground Tear Crystal Morning

Diaphonous net Close your eyes Close your eyes And forget We must forget to remember And remember to forget And all that other claptrap Nonsense Don’t believe a word of it Truth, it’s no surprise To find it lies In the beholder’s eyes It’s all relative We’re all relatives Kith and kin Begin begin End again Begin But most importantly FORGET Forget Forget Forget Beget Beget Beget

Begat Be got Get made Protect Invade Eat the rich Eat the poor Get some Get laid Or get nothing Abstain…

Yuck Whose habit wears?

Nun Nun Nun Empty moon Empty sun Empty earth Empty womb No life begun The queen in her cell The queen in her hell Sting Stang Stung Fing Fang Foom

Empty bluster In empty rooms Cloistered Carreled Library of Babel Escape from her spell The spinster is coming Spinning Spinning The spider has spied Along the span of her lies The great Hairy Bloated Body Hungry Hungry From the great gap inside Escape the web The web The dew Do Wed water To get her Together Splash and the cries Cracked mirror melting Millions of eyes

Away with water To steam Materialize Material Matter Mother Your deliquescence Dissolved and resolved In solution Amnion The great tears of the sea In whose taste I taste Bitter salinity The taste of me Awake and knowing I should have been a pair of ragged claws Applause Applause Shanti Shanti The thunder replies Ratapallax Ri ki ki ki And rou cou cou The birds give up their trees

And flit across the synapse Flying Fleeing Leaping Laughing Tree to tree Limb to limb Hand to hand Hand over hand Down the tree Knowing This is life This is man The child looks up Aping Laughing Mimicking Laughing Learning Hiding Peek-a-boo I see you I see myself Mother Father I see myself In you

The laughter continues The laughter continues Passing from me to you Son Daughter Hear my laughter Heed my laughter As the last laugh Before the disaster Nothing is final I say unto you Eat my words Hear in ear Devour The divided senses To the seat of your power I confront you And bow to you Lips smile Lips love The ellipse Encircling O The sound that knows The sound of your doom

The sound that echoes In the empty head of your room You are not alone Son Daughter The laughter Comes before And will come after Father Mother I’ll be home soon Leave a candle In the window A little lit candle Waxen Wick Winks Wisps Leaves Smoke Choke Choke Choke We all laugh in the room Consume Consume

Your food is delicious Thank you Your food is you Thank you Consume Consume Consume We all laugh Together Alone In the room Eat Eat Let’s all eat Until there’s nothing left No scraps No waste Everything is eaten We’re all conquered by worms In my belly In your belly Squirm squirm squirm Your food is delicious Thank you for dying Your food is delicious

Thank you for frying In the hell of your own grease For the sake of my ease Slake thirst With the vatic grape Hung in clusters Plucked Martyred For the sins of your father Sins you’ll never escape Escape

Scape Scape Scape The goat of your race The wellworn devil Bah Bah Bah Blah Blah Blah Drink deep and forget In remembrance of me Drink deep and forget To be sheep To be goat Just smile

And slit the throat And bleed bleed bleed Drink the wine All is fine Sleep sleep sleep Awake Pan Panic Gasp Grasp your bread Your body Bed Cling Cling Cling It’s okay To release the pursestring’s thread Wealth within Wealth without Give Give Give Give into the need Open yourself up And bleed bleed bleed

Catch the blood of the lamb In goblet cup And drink till you’re hysterical Beyond confusion Bacchus The bad boy Was out all night Play Play Play Play you bad boy Play your lyre Play the liar You don’t fool me I’m the fool you desire Come close Come close Collapse Implode Come come come Bang on your drum Making merry Merry makes Bang on your drum The song that sleeps The song that wakes

Wake upon wake Upon wake upon Wake Hello Greetings Salutations Chanticleer Cock of the Morn Mourns morning When night is born And should we really think of him When the lunar egg cracks on horizon’s rim And lets slip the yellow yolk of sun Across the sky’s bowl of porcelain Sunday Morning Breakfast Brunch Toast and eggs And bacon and Jam Fry up Fry up I’ve been naughty Fry up I’ve been a naughty boy With swimming stomach And swimming head

And I forgot to hydrate Before going to bed So, get up Fry up Just don’t throw up God, I’m a grown up!

When will I ever learn…

Spurn spurn spurn Those reckless nights The flights the fights Stumbling Mumbling Stammering I love yous In the dark Mon ami Mon ami I hug you I love you But hurry I have to pee This girl is three whiskeys deep Drank sloppily neat Compete Compete Coal in your eyes Rouge powder

Belladonna Surprise Surprise Smile that whorish grin That smile of sin Opening mouths Opening mounds Come in Come in And sit by my fire The slit of desire The pit of the slut That beckons beckons Until you enter Then slams shut The venus flytrap Vagina dentata Fly flies Escape Scatter She’s coming Fly faster Her aerial swoop So fast it seems slow As she turns back to stoop

In deep dive Beak Divides Life And limb Shriek Wave upon wave Lapping Uncertain on your shore The sea rounds all rough edges smoothe Soothe Soothe Soothe Then coming Then going Then coming Then going Then coming Then going