The Rohr Chabad Center for Jewish Student Life at Binghamton University 420 Murray Hill Rd. • Vestal, NY 13850 607-797-0015
info@chabadofbinghamton.com www.JewishBU.com
Dear Friend,
A WORD FROM THE DIRECTORS
Swarms, throngs, bevies, flocks, waves, masses, multitudes… we have all been moved, awed, even frightened, by the strength to be found in number.
Each year, come the wet season in early winter, a small Australian territory that is home to 1,500 people, gets invaded by 60 million red crabs making their way to the sea.
Each late afternoon from March through October, the skies of Austin, Texas, darken. That’s because downtown Austin is home to between 750,000 and 1.5 million Mexican free-tailed bats and they hunt for food at that hour.
Each fall, tens of millions of North American monarch butterflies journey up to 3,000 miles to escape the cold winter months. At their winter hibernation sites, monarchs cluster together to stay warm. Tens of thousands of butterflies can cluster on a single tree.
These and other wonders of nature underscore something we all know: there is incredible strength and resilience in unity. And there is a mysterious and heart stopping power in synchrony. So why does harmony and union so often elude us humans? Perhaps we—as opposed to other creatures—don’t feel forced to unite for our survival. But it is when we unite that we truly thrive.
This Jewish year, 5783, is a shnat Hakhel. In ancient Israel every seventh year was a shemitah (sabbatical) year. At the onset of the eighth year in this cycle, in accordance with the Torah’s mandate, all Jews—men, women and children—would gather in Jerusalem and the Jewish king would read select passages from the Torah.These gatherings provided klal Yisroel the opportunity to relive the august assemblage of all Jews at the foot of Sinai. It was a convening that inspired awe and commitment and joy in belonging. Today, with the absence of the Temple there is even more urgency to re-enact this concept in our lives.
Despite our already robust roster of programming and offerings, Chabad put special emphasis on providing even more opportunities for students to gather this year, and through the Unite for Purpose initiative encouraged students to organize gathering with their friends before leaving each other for the summer. These Hakhel gatherings were unique in that they were staged for the sole purpose of coming together to revel in—and to discuss—Jewish community and tradition (of course food and fun activities were provided).
At Binghamton, our students value community, Israel and the Jewish traditions. They appreciate the enormous gift that lies in a strong cohesive community. Peruse the photo pages of this magazine and visit our website to see ample proof of what our students accomplished!
Watching these students in action is deeply inspiring; like watching a flock of birds fly in perfect formation, each one’s movements strengthening the others. To all of you who are donors, you can take enormous satisfaction in your investment!
To all of you, our dear friends, we wish a healthy and productive summer, and to our graduates we say, l’hitraot, it’s never goodbye. Along with the Cheins, the Slonims Jr and the Ohanas we watch you leave with pride, anticipating the wonderful ways in which you will make your mark on the world that awaits you.
We will miss you greatly, so–
N’hiye B’kesher, let’s stay connected and be in touch!
Volume 12, Issue 2 Published by CHABAD OF BINGHAMTON
Contact us at: Hakesher@JewishBU.com
Editor Rivkah Slonim
Staff Writer Alan Zeitlin
Proofreading Marlene Serkin, Chaya M. Slonim
Design Avrohom Weg
Photo Credits Jennifer Mahram
Aliza Popky
Sydney Wilson
magazine is dedicated in loving
on
of
May 2023, Volume 12, Issue 2 Hakesher is published four times a year; September, December, March and May by Chabad of Binghamton, 420 Murray Hill Rd., Vestal, NY 13850. Postage paid at Newark, NJ post offices.
This
memory
Dovid ben Yitzchak Meir Zenilman
the occasion of his 30th Yahrtzeit
Dr. Michael and Marilyn Zenilman and their children — Jeremy ‘06, Elliot ‘09 (and Karen), Daniel ‘09 (and Erin), Ariela ‘11 (and Jeremy), Joshua, Dodi ‘15, Avital (and Emil), Shoshana and Miriam.
Based on the teachings of the Lubavitcher Rebbe of righteous memory
The Things You See
By Rabbi Yanki Tauber
The things you see:
A single shoe in the middle of the road.
A flicker of fear on a child’s face.
A frayed cuff on an otherwise well-dressed man.
A door ajar, a stifled cry, a pleading look...
Walking down a crowded downtown (for example), tens of thousands of objects will enter and exit your field of vision every second. Some of them you’ll see; the vast majority you won’t. The things you see, I won’t notice. And vice versa. It’s not that your vision is better than mine, or that I’m more perceptive. It’s simply that from the millions of stimuli competing for your attention every minute, a certain few will snag on the fibers of your consciousness, while the rest flits by like a school of tiny fish passing through a loosely-woven net.
Why do you see the things that you see? Is it all just a swirling galaxy of chance? Or is there something deeper at play here?
“Do not stand upon your fellow’s blood,” commands the Torah (in Leviticus 19:16). Quoting the sages of the Talmud, Rashi adds the following words of explanation: “to see his demise and you can save him.”
The simple meaning of this statement is clear. The Sages are telling us that the meaning of the Torah’s instruction, “Do not stand upon your fellow’s blood,” is that it is forbidden to stand by and watch your fellow die if you can save him.
But there is a deeper meaning to the Sages’ words.
In his teachings, the founder of Chassidism, Rabbi Israel Baal Shem Tov, greatly emphasized the doctrine of Hashgachah Peratit , “Specific Divine Providence.” Specific divine
providence means that not only did G-d create the world for a purpose, but every event in G-d’s world, and every detail and aspect of every event, is specifically ordained and to serve a particular function within that purpose. Everything that happens is for a reason, and every aspect of every thing that happens— where it happened, when it happened, who saw it happen, how that person was affected by seeing it happen, etc., etc.--is also purposeful.
So if you see something, not only is what you saw significant, but also the fact that you saw it. Indeed, you could just as easily not have noticed. The fact that you did means that you can do something about it.
“To see his demise and you can save him.”
If you see a fellow human being in mortal danger; if you see suffering or need; if you hear a cry for help that others fail to notice, that doesn’t mean that you are more “sensitive” than they are. In fact, it stands to reason that there is an equal number of things which someone else will sense and you will not. It simply means that each person is shown and made aware of things in which he or she is meant to take a part.
In this world that G-d made, there are no tourists—just local residents. There are no fans in the bleachers—only players on the field. No audience—just actors.
The things you see—the very fact that you saw them means that you can, and must, help in some way.
Yanki Tauber is a chassidic scholar and the author of eleven books—including the groundbreaking Book of Jewish Knowledge—and hundreds of essays on Jewish and Hasidic thought. From 1999 to 2014 he served as content editor of Chabad.org, the world’s largest Jewish educational website. Tauber is currently a senior editor at the Rohr Jewish Learning Institute. He is also editor-in-chief of The Book, a new translation and anthologized commentary for the Five Books of Moses.
Chabad on Mars?
Not Yet. But BU Team Has Built a Rover That Could Survive There.
By Alan Zeitlin ‘00
Zev Blumenthal doesn’t plan on traveling to Mars.
But the senior at Binghamton University from Skokie, Illinois, has collaborated with more than 60 students on a robot that would be able to perform useful functions on the planet and be usable by astronauts.
Blumenthal is the Chief Engineer of the Binghamton University Mars Rover Team and shortly after graduation, will compete in an international competition in Utah, marking the first time Binghamton has qualified for the event.
“It would be a crazy big accomplishment as a group if we won,” Blumenthal said of the competition in which 105 teams competed and 37 advanced to compete in the final in Utah that begins at the end of May. “I’m a little nervous and we have a disadvantage that our team is new (to competition in Utah), but we’ve been working very hard. Additionally, as Blumenthal and others on the core team, observe the Sabbath they will not make adjustments to the robot the day before judging, though other teams will.”
Blumenthal said he spends about 30 hours a week on the robot in addition to the many hours put in by members of the team in advance of the competition. He said he was appointed to the leadership position and relishes the challenge. “There is a lot to organize and from a technical standpoint you have to make sure things are going right,” he said. “I also have to motivate students to work together and examine countless details,” he explained.
Rovers designed by teams representing universities around the globe will be judged on many factors including functionality; rovers are required to weigh no more than than 50 kilograms.
Blumenthal explained that the Rover has required more than $10,000 and there are additional costs.
Professor Douglas H. Summerville, chair of the Department of Electrical and Computer Engineering, is the faculty advisor and Blumenthal said he is thankful to him for inspiring the team and imparting his wisdom.
Blumenthal, 23, said he’s had a knack for science for years.
Blumenthal said he watched videos submitted of rovers from the other competing teams.
“We’re excited to represent Binghamton in a prestigious competition,” he said.
“I was kind of that stereotypical kid who always wondered how things work,” Blumenthal reflected. “I got introduced to programming in the fifth or sixth grade.”
He said he would fix things around the house and can solve some car problems, if it’s not the brakes or the engine. His father worked in construction so he may have a genetic disposition to being able to build.
He enjoys indoor rock climbing, outdoor hiking and photography.
proposed to his
whom he will marry a week after the competition, in Steppingstone Park on Long Island, and he believes they first met at Chabad. As to what career this will be stepping stone to, Blumenthal said he might want to work at NASA and is interested in emerging technology.
He said he never likes to sit down and that is one of the reasons he became the head kitchen manager at Chabad for Shabbat meals. What’s it like to organize a meal for up to 450 students every Friday night and 250 on Saturday afternoon?
“It’s really something incredible that you have to see,” Blumenthal said. “It shouldn’t be taken for granted and I think it sets Binghamton apart.”
As he is preparing to leave, he said he will miss the warmth and leadership of the Slonims as well as the other shluchim, and he marveled at their energy.
“They are the most welcoming and understanding people,” Blumenthal said. “They really appreciate their job and are determined to do what is needed and beyond for the community they have built which started small and is now so large. You can tell the difference between people who see something as a job and people who give their everything–their all–and are incredibly unselfish as they do it. The positivity they put into the world boggles the mind. They really love everybody who walks through the door and are a Jewish light on campus. They have impacted thousands of students in crucial years where it if often the most challenging to be Jewish.”
Whether it’s the number of potatoes or pieces of challah they have served, the number of students who have met each other and gotten married, the number of classes that have helped bring people closer to Yiddishkeit, this scientist said he doesn’t know the true impact.
“I think there’s so much, it’s impossible to measure,” he said.
Alan Zeitlin is a freelance writer whose articles have appeared in The Jerusalem Post, The Jewish Telegraphic Agency, Jewish News Syndicate, The Forward, The Algemeiner and The Jewish Journal of Los Angeles, among others.
Blumenthal
fiancé, Naomi Bruk,
ALUMNI NEWS
MAZEL TOVS
‘90 Sandy Bodzin and Shoshana Gross announce the birth of their first grandson, Akiva Yisrael, on March 6, 2023. They share this grandson with fellow Binghamton Alumna Melanie Spigler.
‘91 Shoshana Gross and Sandy Bodzin announce the birth of their first grandson. See ‘90 for additional information.
‘93 Melanie and Amatzia Spigler announce the birth of their first grandson. See ‘90 for additional information.
‘98 Michael and Lauren Schwartz announce the Bar Mitzvah of their son, Evan, Ephraim Yitzchok, on May 14, 2023.
‘01 Adam and Laurie Stern announce the Bar Mitzvah of their son, Aaron Yitzchak, on June 10, 2023.
Tzipah and Shaul Wertheimer announce the Bar Mitzvah of their son, Shmuel, on April 23, 2023.
‘02 Laurie and Adam Stern announce the Bar Mitzvah of their son (see ‘01 for full details).
‘04 Amy and Simcha Weinberg announce the birth of their son, Shlomo Yehudah, on Teves 6, 5783. He was welcomed home by older siblings, Zalmy, Leah, Mendel, and Liba.
‘05 Brenda and Ivan Corwin announce the birth of their son, Ziv Aviv, on April 7, 2023. He was welcomed home by big sisters, Zoe, Ava, and Rae.
‘07 Rachelle and Bennett Schwarz announce the birth of their daughter Gavriella Chaya, on January 14, 2023. She was welcomed home by big brother, Ami.
‘08 Bennett and Rachelle Schwarz announce the birth of their daughter (see ‘07 for full details).
‘10 Tara Blackman and Jake Musiker announce the birth of their daughter, Chaya, on April 8, 2023.
‘11 Natalie Levin announces her engagement to Moshe Saada; a June 2023 wedding is planned. Natalie is a Psychotherapist; Moshe is a Software Engineer. They will divide their time between NY and Israel.
‘12 Eric and Danielle Engelman announce the birth of their son, Wes, Zeev Efraim, on April 19, 2023. He was welcomed home by big sister, Stevie.
‘13 Talya Keschner and Ziv Karmi announce the birth of their daughter Anaya on March 22, 2023; she was welcomed home by big brother, Noam.
Elana Greenberg announces her engagement to Michael Shrager; an August 27, 2023, wedding is planned.
‘14 Yaelle (Tuvy) and Scott Weinblatt announce the birth of their son Jacob Nisan on March 25, 2023; he was welcomed home by big brother, Nathan.
Dr. Eyal Menashe announces his engagement to Leeal Kahen; an August 17, 2023 wedding is planned. Eyal is doing a pulmonary and critical care fellowship at Stony Brook University Hospital; Leeal is attending St. John’s University School of Law. They will make their home in the New York area.
Corey Mavleos and Samantha Kiviat announce their engagement; an August 26, 2023 wedding is planned. Corey is a CPA at Pricewaterhouse and is finishing Law school. Samantha is a Media Strategy Manager at Hearst Magazine. They plan to make their home in Williamsburg, New York.
Amy Kutzberg-Olshever and Ryan Olshever announce the birth of their daughter Vichna Sara, on January 2, 2023.
‘15 Ashley Zachariah announces her marriage to Andrew Fine on October 23, 2022.
Alex and Gabrielle Ainsberg announce the birth of their son, Binyamin Zev, on December 30, 2022. He was welcomed home by big brother
Shmuel Ezra.
‘16 Josh and Abby (Spilky) Seed announce the birth of their sons, Elisha Chanan and Shalev Amiad, on March 10, 2023.
Josh Fisher announces his engagement to Eliana Prandsky. An October 22, 2023, wedding is planned. Josh is a human capital analyst at Deloitte. Eliana does visual displays for Bergdorf Goodman. They plan to make their home in Denver, Colorado.
Samantha Kiviat and Corey Mavleos announce their engagement (see ‘14 for full details).
Gabrielle and Alex Ainsberg announce the birth of their son (see ‘15 for full details).
Omer Sultan and Julia Bover announce their engagement; a December 2023 wedding is planned.
‘17 Maya Apfelbaum announces her marriage to Doron Samuel on December 11, 2022.
Ariel Kutcher announces his engagement to Caroline Dreifuss; a fall 2024 wedding is planned. Both Ariel and Caroline work in technology. Julia Bover and Omer Sultan announce their engagement (see ‘16 for full details).
‘18 Yarden and Hannah (Zucker) Sokol announce the birth of their son, Eitan Yehoshua on December 13, 2022.
Aria and Eliana Hourizadeh announce the birth of their daughter, Ayala Rivkah.
Ephraim and Rochel Herschmann announce the birth of their son, Shlomo Yehoshua Dov, on March 27, 2023.
‘19 Adel Rubin announces her engagement to Reuben Major; an October 18, 2023 wedding is planned. Adel works in Disney’s corporate offices under the advertising section; Reuben does Private Wealth Management at JP Morgan. They will make their home in the NYC area.
Mark and Talia Generowicz announce the birth of their son, Leib Zalman, Leo, February 3, 2023.
Adam Ginsberg and Leah Feder were married on December 26, 2022. Rebecca Gabay and Jordan Anhalt were married on March 26, 2023.
Ben Jaspen announces his engagement to Hannah Tucker; a May 29, 2023 wedding is planned.
Continued on Page 33
SYMPATHIES
Chabad mourns the passing of...
Noam Benyomin Yosef Reinfeld, son of Danny Reinfeld ‘88, on January 14, 2023.
Gavriella Bader, daughter of Stephanie (Cohen) ‘96 and Scott Bader ‘94, on December 12, 2023.
Faye Darack, Finkel bat Baruch, Mother of Nira Feldman ‘97, on Rosh Chodesh Adar 5783.
Yitzchak Izak ben Shlomo Halevy Levin, father (and father-in-law) of Meeka (Levin) Natanov ‘05 and David Natanov ‘05, Shelly (Levin) Rubin ‘07, and Daniel Rubin ‘08 and Natalie Levin ‘11.
May the families be comforted among the mourners of Zion and Jerusalem.
Don’t see your occasion listed? That means we did not know! Please make sure to stay in touch!
Can You Answer the Call If Chabad
of Binghamton Adopts Program
"I flunked a test." "I don’t have a job for next year." "My girlfriend dumped me."
"There was a death in my family."
"My parents are getting divorced."
These are examples of things college students might say to their roommates or friends. While there is less of a stigma over mental health than there used to be, one cannot take for granted that students will find an environment conducive to open and honest communication that can lower their stress levels. And the stress and anxiety levels are at an all-time high.
About 1,100 American college students commit suicide each year. A summary of data released in 2022 points to over three-quarters of college students (77%) experiencing moderate to serious psychological distress. 35% of students were diagnosed with anxiety; 27% had depression.
“For Chabad of Binghamton these are not just numbers; these are realities affecting our students whom we know and love. And the numbers did not come as a shock; Binghamton shluchim had been noting the steady rise of mental wellness issues over some years, “ said Rabbi Levi Slonim, director
of development for Chabad of Binghamton. In 2021 Chabad adopted a program called Cogwell, which is run by Rabbi Ephraim Levine of Chabad at the University of Pennsylvania and has proven wildly successful at Penn since its founding in 2005. The program promotes active listening in a non-judgmental environment by training fellows who run programs for their peers. In Binghamton, over 145 students have participated in a comprehensive active listening workshop called “Listen Up!” which includes interactive role-playing through scenarios and over 15 students have already participated as lead fellows in the CogWell fellowship since its inception in the fall of 2021.
“The workshops cover the spectrum of stress and anxiety including body issues,” Levine said.
He added that some deal with imposter syndrome where they feel they aren’t good enough to compete academically.
Levine advises asking people if they just want
You Aren’t Really Listening? to Address
Mental Health and Wellness
By Alan Zeitlin
to vent or are looking for advice and in the event someone talks about taking one’s life, he said one can ask if the person has made a plan and if they are serious.
Binghamton University fellow, Jake Nussbaum, said he assisted in leading one workshop.
“I feel like it was a life-changer in terms of really listening,” said Nussbaum, who is from Fairlawn, New Jersey. “The things I learned were really helpful because I had a friend dealing with depression and was able to speak with him and help.”
Slonim said that after incidents of suicide at Binghamton, as well as other mental health concerns, it was imperative to take action to teach how to improve communication and spread the concept of active listening among peer groups.
“We want the students to feel happy and know that they are not alone,” Slonim said. “We want to do everything we can. So yes, there is a counseling center. But people may not always feel comfortable availing themselves of those formal services. They might keep issues to themselves for months or even longer and we don’t want that to happen. We want to teach active listening; whether it’s a frat or a club or just a group of friends, people can bring up their issues without any stigma. We have to be proactive and meet the challenges of the day.”
Slonim said Chabad is in touch with Binghamton’s counseling center as well as other mental health
professionals and that Cogwell is in no way a replacement for mental health professionals but rather a first line of defense so that people can be alerted to a problem, and when necessary, mental health professionals will be called.
The four core program values are the power of just listening, being a supportive friend, fostering empathy, and self-care.
Levine said at a time where some don’t know who to trust, the shluchim at Chabad of Binghamton are in a unique situation in that “they are sensitive and caring. (Students) likely feel they are safe around them and can talk about anything that is bothering them.”
Slonim said his hope is that if students have an issue bothering them, rather than keeping it to themselves, they speak to a friend, someone at Chabad, or anyone who will take them seriously, and not mock them or belittle their concern.
“It is important that people are seen and heard and even though the media may show college years as any easy time, there can be a lot of pressure on students at this age,” Slonim said. “It is understandable and natural, and we don’t shut our eyes or close our ears. Our eyes are open, our ears are open, and our hearts are open.”
While in a case of an emergency, one should call 911, the after-hours crisis line for Binghamton University’s Counseling Center is 607-777-2772.
“We have to be proactive and meet the challenges of the day.”
- Rabbi Levi Slonim
Alan Zeitlin is a freelance writer whose articles have appeared in The Jerusalem Post, The Jewish Telegraphic Agency, Jewish News Syndicate, The Forward, The Algemeiner and The Jewish Journal of Los Angeles, among others.
This Coach Wants To Put You In The Game
Tamar Gaffin-Cahn
Helps People Unlock Their Untapped Potential
By Alan Zeitlin ‘00
Turn on a cable news show, and chances are, a host will say that members of Generation Z, much like a hard boiled egg left too long in the back of the fridge, are soft, spoiled, and unfit to serve.
Not so, says Tamar Gaffin-Cahn, a life and leadership coach in Boston who graduated from Binghamton University in 2014. She is The Growth Coach.
“I work mostly with people in their 20’s, college students, and some teenagers,” she said. ‘Society tells them that they don’t have sufficient experience, leadership skills, or knowledge at their young age. But most do have the tools and talent to go after their dreams, they just need help trusting their gut, organizing themselves, and taking action steps.”
She said her job is rewarding, especially when she hears that one of her clients has gotten the raise they were afraid to ask their boss for. She helps you navigate your career as well as how to be an effective communicator.
“The main thing I do is help people get unstuck in an area of their life,” she said.
Why might someone want a life coach rather than a therapist?
“The way I see it, therapy is like going to a physical therapist, and a life coach is like going to a personal trainer,” she said. “Life coaching is about the future, it’s action and goal-oriented. Both are very valuable. Their work can overlap, but there are also a lot of differences.”
challenges, they’re ready for a life coach,” she said. “It can take over a month to see changes, and there are people who have had a coach for their whole life. It’s a resource that is beneficial in most life circumstances. For me, it’s incredibly validating to see people work hard and go after what they want.”
She also said the power of social media can be a doubleedged sword.
“There are pros and cons,” she said. “One pro is you can have exposure to different people and ways of thinking, and one con is you may too harshly compare yourself to others instead of focusing on your own goals.”
Speaking on The Peak Mindset Podcast in February, she said she didn’t thrive scholastically as a teen but excelled in after-school activities and planned events and was in social justice groups.
“I realized there I had value,” she said on the podcast. “I wasn’t really unique in the school space, and I want to provide that opportunity for young people…”
She said she was on the executive board of Chabad and honed her interpersonal skills.
“My experience at Chabad was wonderful,” she said. ‘I planned some of the major events that I remember to this day. It definitely helped me learn leadership and professional skills.
She also said amid the hustling and bustling of college life, Chabad served as a calming and inspiring foundation.
She said one of her focuses is career goals, but she can also help people with relationship goals and can work remotely with people over the phone or a computer.
She said it’s important to identify your skills and match them with your interests to achieve your big dreams and goals. The Red Sox fan said she loves helping people see they can hit home runs even if the walls or obstacles seem too high.
What kind of person would do well with a life coach?
“If the person is willing to grow and take on new
I loved the Slonims’ authenticity, they are so genuine,” she said. “They are caring, warm, and kind. They are always reliable, and that is a trait I really appreciate because it serves as a model that you don’t just talk, but you follow through.”
She is currently taking new clients. You can find more information on her website at www.tamargaffincahn.com or on Instagram @tamargaffincahn.
Alan Zeitlin is a freelance writer whose articles have appeared in The Jerusalem Post, The Jewish Telegraphic Agency, Jewish News Syndicate, The Forward, The Algemeiner and The Jewish Journal of Los Angeles, among others.
A SPECIAL HAKESHER GRADUATION FEATURE
After 4 years the graduates know it all!
We asked our graduates to share their thoughts, feelings and hard earned wisdom.
The Graduates 2023
Zev Blumenthal Just now
MAJOR: Computer Engineering
FUTURE PLANS: Getting married and working at BAE Systems in Endicott
Leora Chasen Just now
MAJOR: Psychology
MINOR: Forensic Health
FUTURE PLANS: Taking a gap year while hopefully applying to graduate school
Sarah Forst Just now
MAJOR: Integrative Neuroscience
MINOR: Health and Wellness
FUTURE PLANS: Physician Assistant
Isaac Frankel Just now
MAJOR: Finance
FUTURE PLANS: Financial Consulting
Raquel Fusman Just now
MAJOR: Urban Planning
FUTURE PLANS: Nursing School
Danielle Ganchrow Just now
MAJOR: Psychology
FUTURE PLANS: Doctoral degree in clinical psychology
Eliana Gorfinkel Just now
MAJOR: English
FUTURE PLANS: Masters in Administration at Binghamton University
Lauren Grosz Just now
MAJOR: Psychology
MINOR: Education
FUTURE PLANS: Masters in Early Childhood Education at Fordham University
Emma Haynes Just now
MAJOR: Environmental Studies with a concentration in Public Policy
MINOR: Judaic Studies
FUTURE PLANS: Graduate degree in sustainability from Columbia
Bayla Henry Just now
MAJOR: Psychology
MINOR: Speech and Hearing Sciences
FUTURE PLANS: Masters in communication sciences and disorders at Columbia University (speech pathology)
My favorite/most meaningful /most important Jewish experience at Binghamton University was…
Chavrutas with Rivky every Wednesday my sophomore year! AK
Definitely a tie between Shabbat 2000 this year and Simchat Torah both Freshman year and this year. Shabbat 2000 was so surreal and it was so meaningful to see the room go from empty to the high energy, amazing environment that it became. Simchat Torah Freshman year was one of my first times understanding what Chabad really is, and I made sure to savor that experience while I could this year. AW
Shabbat 2000. I loved seeing Jews of all different backgrounds come to celebrate shabbat and community together in one place. BH
Spearheading Chabad's annual toy drive in the fall of 2021! It was incredible to be a part of such a beautiful initiative and help raise money for Chai Lifeline. CL
Establishing long-lasting friendships that will be cherished for years to come. DS (David Salameh)
Chanukah 2021 where we lit candles for that night, danced, and ate hot apple cider and sufganiyot on the spine at night. EG
My first Shabbat 2000! After it being canceled and rearranged because of COVID, finally experiencing it in my second year was amazing. Being in one room and showing the beauty of shabbat to so many people was extremely beautiful and moving. Shabbat has always been one of my favorite aspects of Judaism and sharing that on such an enormous level was really meaningful. Lighting candles at that event with hundreds of other women made me emotional and reminded me why I am so passionate about sharing the beauty of Judaism and guided me in my decision to run for Chabad President. ES
The Chabad LivingLinks trip to Poland. It’s honestly hard to put into words how meaningful and impactful the trip was. It not only brought me an immense appreciation for the Jewish people, the state of Israel, and Chabad, but it helped me understand the Holocaust and the tragedies that our people suffered in a way that is impossible to understand unless you have traveled to Poland yourself. EW
Attending meals at the homes of the Shluchim, and having smaller Shabbat meals at Chabad when school is not officially in session. GS
Hands down the Hakhel play in the sukkah. HK
Every Shabbos at Chabad. Seeing everyone come together, laughing and eating together, makes me smile, and I love spending the day with my friends. SF
My favorite memory would have to be running around the apple orchard during a Chabad apple picking event with my friends trying to find the perfect apples before the orchard closed due to rain. SK
Spearheading GNO and being able to use my creativity to plan events. LC
Walking all the way downtown with Rabbi Levi, Mendel, and four others on Simchat Torah to dance outside State Street with the Torah. Even though we practically resang “Dovid Melech Yisroel” and “Ose Shalom” the entire time, it was special to be able to share these spiritual moments with Jews who otherwise would not be observing the holiday. JK
Truly making Judaism my own for the first time and choosing how to spend my time in a way that reflects that. What made that journey all the more special was having a vibrant and passionate community behind me while exploring that identity. MH
MC'ing the 2023 Fashion For A Cure Fashion Show and, from the stage, seeing the incredible amount of people who had never stepped foot in the building before coming to support a good cause!! NK
Shabbat 2000 and hitting our goal of 2000+ students. NM
My first Shabbat 2000. Bringing so many people together is an experience I’ll never forget. NR
The weekly Shabbat dinners because I can disconnect from the busy week and see my friends! RS
The Sinai Scholar's day trip with my peers. SN
Friday night dinners. DS (Dahlia Sered)
Simchat Torah and parading the Torah around campus! SS (Shosh Schienberg)
Chabad of Binghamton
Chabad is...
a place that I could call my home when I didn’t have any other.
AW (Ariel Wajnrajch) the place I met some of the most important people in my life. It is an organization that shows immense love and provides immense resources (not just food!).
AW (Alyssa Wieder) a chosen family that will take you in with open arms and be there to provide support whenever you need in whatever way possible.
a place to come together, celebrate our Judaism in many meaningful ways, and be a part of an incredible community.
DG as cliche as it may sound, chabad is really my home away from home.
where
found my community. Relationships that I hope will last a lifetime have been founded here.
the one constant in college. Chabad –and all of the Shluchim– will always be there for you for whatever you need (and more).
the place where I made lifelong friends, established a deep admiration for
and connected to a greater community purpose and
a place where I feel a deep sense of belonging and connection to Judaism.
a place that I can always count on to be a Jewish outlet for me on campus and just to have my back in general.
The Graduates
2023
Maya Homa
MAJOR: Psychology
FUTURE PLANS: Work in the Mental Health field
Adina Horowitz
MAJOR: Human Development
MINOR: Education
FUTURE PLANS: MSW at Hunter Silberman School of Social Work
Rachel Jaffe
MAJOR: Psychology
MINOR: Health and Wellness
FUTURE PLANS: MSW at Yeshiva University Wurzweiler School of Social Work
Ariella Khalili
MAJOR: Integrative Neuroscience
MINOR: Anthropology
FUTURE PLANS: Medical School
Hannah Kaplun
MAJOR: Human Development and Psychology
MINOR: Psychology
FUTURE PLANS: Making aliyah
Jonathan Kirsch
MAJOR: MBA
FUTURE PLANS: Financial Products Analyst at Bloomberg
Na’ama (Nicole) Kaye
MAJOR: Business
ADMINISTRATION: Concentrations in Marketing and MIS
FUTURE PLANS: Incoming Business Transformation Consultant at IBM
Shoshana Klein
MAJOR: MBA
Chaviva Liss
MAJOR: Human Development
MINOR: Education
FUTURE PLANS: Master of Social Work at Hunter College
Addison Maidenberg
MAJOR: Economics
FUTURE PLANS: TBD
EJ Meltzer
MAJOR: BS Financial Economics
The most important lesson I learned in college is…
not to procrastinate. AK
don’t blink. In all seriousness, I think I learned that negativity is the single biggest waste of time. Be sad when you need to be sad– I know I’ve spent plenty of time wallowing– but complaining about little things like missing Mac and Cheese day at the Kosher Korner or not getting into the class section with the easier professor or the more ideal timing, might not help. I really believe in the idea that if you think good things, it will be good. AW
the value of strong friendships. You will figure out who your true friends are in college, and those friendships will last a lifetime. BH
keep pursuing your goals no matter what stands in your way. CL
be more comfortable stepping outside of my own comfort zone. I really learned a lot about myself when trying new things. DG
balancing Jewish life in college. DS (Daliah Sered)
don't expect others to initiate that conversation/friendship/activity, if you want something to happen, be one of the people to make it happen. EG
push yourself out of your comfort zone. EH, YS (Yakir Saknovitz)
try new things and make new friends! GS
do your own thing and don't worry about what others are or aren't doing. HK
always look for opportunities, and don’t be afraid to take them. IW
you come to college to find your groomsmen. JK
take advantage of what is at your disposal. LC
life is always going to be accompanied by competing demands for your time making it easy to switch to autopilot. However, it is the moments when you go out of your way to make the time for something, that force you to truly become present and find meaning in your daily life. MH always be yourself and don’t care about what other people think of you. LR
growth doesn't stop once you get to college, it only propels. MR
talk to people and stop caring about things that won’t matter in 3 months! NR the more energy you put into things, the more you get out of them! NK
you can never be too busy, be wise with your time. NM
make every day count, trust that you can get through anything no matter how hard it is, and spend the time with the people you care about. Each day of college has a special memory to be gained, even the days that you're not as thrilled about (like a big exam). You can do anything you put your mind to, especially if you try your best and lean on those around you. Finally, the time here flies, so spend it with the people you want to -graduation comes around faster than you think. SF
it is always more important to put your mental health higher on your list of things to worry about than a grade or a test. SK
Make the most of every moment. YS (Yehuda Silverman) you get out what you put in. SN
your connections are worth just as much–if not more–than the knowledge you possess. ZB
The most important lesson I learned from my parents is…
To our beautiful Sophie, Mazel Tov!! We are so proud of you!!
We Love You, Mommy, Zach, Renee, Adam, Ellie & Lee
every day is full of thousands of choices and it is important to take the time to make smart decisions. AW take everything one step at a time. BH persistence. DS (Dahlia Sered) surround yourself with people that will build you up and support you no matter what happens. EG always say thank you to those around you! It may seem like such a small gesture, but it makes such a big difference in your relationships with others. GS
if it's important to you, you'll make time for it no matter what. HK
the importance of being a part of and maintaining a strong community, along with looking for ways to help others. IW go out of your way to do something nice for someone and always have a smile on your face. JK
give your all in any situation- academically, socially, professionally. LC
always respect other people and value and cherish your time with others. LR
accept and love people for who they are at their core without judgment. MH
the commitment to build an inclusive Jewish community. MR you should always make it a priority to show up prepared. NK everything always works out in the end. NM treat others like you want to be treated, and leave a room cleaner than you found it. NR
respect and be kind to others because you have no idea what they are going through. RJ
help people out however I can. I went into the kitchen to help out a few times, and little did I know that I'd continue doing it for 3 years and get to work with some of my best friends through the craziest of times. SF
strive to be the best that you can be. SK learn something from everyone even if you might not agree with them and their beliefs. SS (Shosh Schienberg)
Dear Na’ama,
Congratulations on all of your accomplishments, both in and out of the classroom. We are so proud of how hard and tirelessly you work, your strong sense of responsibility, but most of all your love of and prioritizing of Torah and mitzvot along with your strong commitment to the Jewish community. Wishing you and the entire Binghamton Class of 2023 much mazel and bracha in everything you do. All our love, Mommy, Daddy, and Ziva
The Graduates
2023
Sareen Nezaria
MAJOR: Integrative Neuroscience
MINOR: Forensic Health
FUTURE PLANS: Medical School
Nora Monasheri
MAJOR: Finance and Management Information Systems
FUTURE PLANS: MBA Program at Binghamton
Noah Randman
MAJOR: Computer Engineering
FUTURE PLANS: Job in the engineering field
Mia Raskin
MAJOR: Business Marketing
FUTURE PLANS: Masters in Business at Binghamton
Lexie Rosenblatt
MAJOR: Human Development
MINOR: Speech and Hearing Science
FUTURE PLANS: Pursuing a Masters in Speech Pathology at Touro
Noam Rothner
MAJOR: Psychology
MINOR: Health and Wellness Studies
FUTURE PLANS: MBA at Binghamton
David Salameh
MAJOR: Business Administration with a concentration in MIS
FUTURE PLANS: Governance, Risk, and Compliance at Collibra
Yakir Sacknovitz
MAJOR: MBA
FUTURE PLANS: Travel and then Valuation Associate at Alvarez and Marsal
Dalia Sered
MAJOR: Psychology
MINOR: Education
FUTURE PLANS: PsyD in School Psychology
Eliana Sastow
MAJOR: Psychology
MINOR: Education
FUTURE PLANS: Graduate school for Speech Pathology
The
most surprising/important lesson I have learned during the Covid 19 crisis was...
Every experience holds the power to become meaningful - it’s best to make the most of it. IF The importance of belonging to a tight knit community where you can be there for other people in their times of need and know that someone will be there during yours. DG Binghamton may be in the middle of nowhere, but there are still adventures and activities you can partake in, even during the pandemic! EG
The importance of connection and relationships. CHABAD was the only place on campus when we were freshman that did everything they could to keep their doors open and make a home for connections and relationships. MR
The value of having meaningful and quality connections with people and a larger community. MH
Ingenuity and mesirat nefesh HK
It’s important to keep in touch with friends and family even when it's impossible to physically be with them. JK
That regardless of the challenge, when it matters, our community steps up!!! NK
How to make a pulley system out of common household items SK Text someone if you're thinking of them, they will appreciate it! NM
How important my relationship with my family is to me. SN
Everyone REALLY does have their own battles. Benefit of the doubt will do your life wonders. NR (Noam Rothner)
Appreciate in person classes DS (Dahlia Sered)
It is really important to effort into the relationships that you care about and want to last SS (Shos Scheinberg)
It is surprising how easily something that was originally considered insane can become the new normal if you give it enough time and are willing to adapt. AW (Alyssa Weider)
The only way to serve a large Jewish community with a small number room capacity is staging three meals one after the other (like we did at Chabad).. let’s just say its hectic. ZB
Mazel tov
ADINA HOROWITZ on all of your accomplishments! We are so proud of you!
Love, Mommy, Abba, Shoshana, Grandma, and Safta
MAZAL TOV SARAH on this momentous and joyful occasion. Your whole family is so proud of you. We look forward to sharing many more wonderful and special occasions with you.
Love Mommy, Daddy, Bubbie, Reena, and Shai
Congrats and Mazal Tov to Noa Pitkowsky and friends. Love, Mom, Dad, Roni & Isabel
Chabad of Binghamton
In maximum Tweet length
(280 characters),
now that you are about to leave BU what would you advise incoming and remaining students?
Be open to new experiences and meeting new people! AH
Take advantage of all the opportunities you are given. Whether it’s getting involved in a small capacity or a large capacity you will definitely not regret it. AM
Time here is so limited, just have fun and learn as much as you can. Try and stress less. Meet as many people as you can and cherish them. Get involved in Chabad, whatever that looks like for you. I can’t recommend G-Board and E=Board enough, it was the best thing I did here. AW
(Ariel Wajnrajch)
College is a very unique period of time, so take advantage of it and use some of the bountiful resources and discover who YOU are at your core beyond how others have defined you. AW (Alyssa Wieder)
Make the most of your time here. Even though school can get stressful and overwhelming at times, it's so important to carve out time to hang out with friends and do fun things! I guarantee that when you look back at your college experience you won't remember the times you spent studying for tests. But the experiences and adventures you went on with friends will stick with you forever. AZ
I would say my only advice is to expand beyond your social circles. Throughout my time at Binghamton, I have built community in my classes, clubs, Chabad, and more. I have met people from all different backgrounds and could not be more grateful for the community I have made here. BH
I came in knowing absolutely nobody in Binghamton. But the community was so welcoming to new arrivals that I quickly found my place. My advice is to keep that openness as much as possible and branch out to everyone you can. You never know who you will find. EM
SAY YES! I would not be the person I am today if I did not say yes in college. There are so many opportunities and you cannot fully take advantage of them without allowing yourself to say yes. Push yourself out of your comfort zone and learn new things about yourself. ES
Have fun, say yes to experiences outside of your comfort zone, while at the same time focusing on building your future career. Don’t just LET things happen, MAKE them happen. EW
Utilize all the good things the Jewish community has to offer! Attend meals, weekly events, learning classes, coffee dates, etc. Most importantly, make new friends! GS
We only have 3 to 4 years to make a lasting impact within Binghamton - be sure to make the most of every opportunity thrown your way with confidence and a smile :) IF
Be open to trying new things. There is so much to do and get involved with in BU, and when I pushed myself to get out of my social bubble I met all sorts of incredible people. IW
You only get college once in your life. Do not leave with a single regret. Go talk to someone you didn’t know before at Chabad on Friday night. Stay up the extra hour hanging out with your friends. Do things outside of your comfort zone. These are memories you will cherish forever. JK
Use all the resources available to you. Do things that take you out of your comfort zone: go to the gym, take African Dance, do something culturally different, volunteer, get to know your professors. Go to Chabad every week: it’s your home away from home. LC
Everyone says it, but four years of college really will go by in the blink of an eye. Savor every single experience and take nothing for granted. Be spontaneous, laugh and study hard. Find something that makes you
happy every single day. Cherish these moments and hold onto them forever. LG
Say yes to opportunities big or small as they present themselves, you never know where they will lead you. You get out of your experience in college what you put into it. The more you involve yourself and become present with the people around you, the Jewish community, your classes, clubs, sports, and career opportunities the more lively, fulfilling and enriching your college experience will feel. Don’t let these years simply slip by, take an active role in it. MH
Always say "yes!" These three letters can change your relationships, your mindset, and your overall experience. In doing so, I was able to be a part of so many different aspects on and off campus. College is the best place to explore the feeling of being uncomfortable by saying yes to whatever opportunity is thrown at you. No matter the outcome, the Jewish community will always have your back. MR
My advice is to get involved!!! It is the experiences you have, people you speak to, and leadership opportunities you take outside the classroom which allow you to really learn about what you do -- and don't -- want to continue to invest your time into! NK
Don't be afraid to leave your circle and say hello to the person sitting next to you - you never know where that conversation can take you! NM
TALK to people. MEET DIVERSE PEOPLE! The connections you make will change your life, and spread change to others in more ways than you can imagine. NR
Take advantage of the Chabad community and get involved as much as you can, it will make your college experience so much more fun and meaningful! RS (Ruth Silver)
Take the initiative to make new friends and create memorable experiences in college. Don't be afraid to strike up a conversation with someone in class or join a club/volunteer opportunity on campus. Chances are everyone is as nervous as you so just go for it! RS (Rosalie Sohn)
Take the time to be with friends, and lean on them for everything you need. My college experience would've been much worse without my friends by my side. SF
I remember like it was yesterday my first Chabad event feeling both nervous and excited for what was to come. I am beyond lucky to have had the opportunity to be a part of such a welcoming and comforting place like Chabad that continued to keep my Jewish identity strong throughout my four years in college. My advice: take every opportunity that comes your way. Not just college but life is all about getting what you put in. I had the most amazing experience because of the risks I took and the situations I placed myself in that were at times out of my comfort zone. Cherish the time you have at Binghamton because it really does go by quicker than you’d think. SN
Try to find the beauty in your everyday routine and make the most of every moment. When you are graduating and looking back on your time at Binghamton, you’ll miss all of the small moments that capture the true essence of your college experience. SS (Shosh Schienberg)
It really goes faster than you think. Try to take a step back often and appreciate what you have. Also take day trips with friends. YS (Yakir Sacknovitz)
Get involved in a student organization or a competition early in your college career, employers are looking for experience. These experiences will teach you invaluable lessons that you cannot learn in a class or textbook. Get involved! ZB
Continues on Page 20
The Graduates
2023
Shosh Scheinberg
MAJOR: Human Development
MINOR: Painting
FUTURE PLANS: Michigan State University for a Masters in Sport Psychology
Gabby Schoenberg
MAJOR: Psychology
FUTURE PLANS: Physician Assistant
Ruth Silver
MAJOR: Psychology
FUTURE PLANS: Nursing School
Seth Silverman
MAJOR: Marketing
FUTURE PLANS: Working
Yehuda Silverman
MAJOR: Finance
FUTURE PLANS: Equity Research
Rosalie Sohn
MAJOR: Biology
MINOR: Religious Studies
Ariel Wajnrajch
MAJOR: Master of Business Administration
FUTURE PLANS: Working and living in Manhattan
Eitan Weinsteiner
MAJOR: MA in Business Administration, BA in Philosophy, Politics, and Law
FUTURE PLANS: Paralegal, and then Law School!
Alyssa Wieder
MAJOR: Nursing
FUTURE PLANS: NICU RN
Ilana Winter
MAJOR: Political Science and Arabic
MINOR: History
FUTURE PLANS: Working at a think tank in Washington, DC focused on the Middle East
Alli Zimmerman
MAJOR: Environmental Science
FUTURE PLANS: Sustainability consulting
The most surprising/important lesson I learned about myself during my college career is...
that I can balance a lot more responsibilities than I thought. BH
you're more extroverted than you think! EG
I am a much better multitasker than my high school self would have imagined :) GS
to invest my time in activities and classes I really cared about. It was easy in high school to get involved in everything, but in college I learned to pick what really mattered to me and devote my time to those few things. IW
I have a fantastic support system that wants to see me succeed. JK
only you can get in your own way. LC
the greatest successes are outside of the classroom. MR
I am far more productive when I have a long to-do list ("if you want something done, give it to a busy person," and all of that). NK
you never know until you try. NM
being shy and outgoing are not exclusive. I can get pretty quiet and nervous talking to people I don't know so well, but I absolutely love hanging out with anyone and everyone. NR (Noah Randman)
I, you, and everyone you know, has a much larger impact than we all realize. NR (Noam Rothner)
standing up for yourself can be the bravest thing you do. SK
Congratulations Hannah Kaplun!
I am so very proud of you. I am proud of your growth, your maturity, your leadership, and all of your accomplishments.
I am excited for you to begin your dream of living in Israel, even though it is 5,684.563 miles away from me.
Love you, Mom
Mazal Tov Noam!
Dear Leora.
(our favorite middle child)
We are so proud of all of your college accomplishments. You have grown personally and academically and have become an amazing young woman.
Love you, Mommy, Aba, Talia, Sammy
We love you tons and are so proud of you! Wishing you much success in all you set out to accomplish. May you feel blessed, happy, inspired and fulfilled with each new day.
Love
Always, Mommy, Abba, Yonit, Yakira & Yonatan
ISAAC FRANKEL!!!! MAZEL TOV!!!!
We are soooo proud of you and love you beyond words!!! May you go from strength to strength! YOU SENT IT!!!
All our love, Mommy and Daddy and EVERYONE IN THE AFSTH FAM!
Much Hakarat HaTov to Rabbi and Rivky Slonim for making college life a true home away from home in every beautiful way!
PLEASE NOTE: All photos were taken before the onset of Shabbat.
SHABBAT 2000
Holding the record for the largest Shabbat Dinner in one location on any campus worldwide and breaking all previously held records for Binghamton, Shabbat 2000 surpassed its goal and treated participants to a memorable night of Jewish pride, joy, and the power of community. Student leaders and volunteers were absolutely awesome and did it all from start to finish. And yes, the food was delicious!
For
please
FASHION FOR A CURE
Annually, Chabad and SDT outdo previous years in putting on a night of education, entertainment, delightful eats, amazing raffle prizes and of course, a fabulous fashion show. Best of all, each year we send a more sizable gift to Sharsheret and give our community's women the gift of power through knowledge.
PHOTO
Girl Fun. Women Power.
Talent Night and Girl's Nights Out: CupCake Wars! Paint and Sip, Burrito Bowls and Jeopardy
For
Around Our Community
• JLI ( Jewish Learning Institute) Courses both in person and virtually
• Two Purim Feasts
• Tea and Talk
• Education Day USA honoring the Rebbe's Birthday and vision
• Shmurah Matzah Distribution
Tu B'shvat Seder | Chocolate Seder | Shmurah Matzah Distribution | Post-Pesach Chametz Party
Chabad Downtown
Torah 'n Tso | JGC ( Jewish Greek Council) | Cooking with Hadasa | Challah Bakes | In "House" programming
THOSE ARE JUST SOME OF THE WAYS PURIM WAS DESCRIBED. YOU HAD TO BE THERE!
2023 EDITION
• Megillah Readings on campus and off–in multiple locations–on the hour, each hour.
• Glow in the dark Carnival Extravaganza
• Purim Seudah
• Megillah and Martinis
• Purim Happy Hour in NYC for Alumni
• Multiple Hamantashen Bake-ins and
• The Purim Truck that brought the spirit to campus and beyond!
Education, Education,
• Supper and Study
• Student led Chaburot
• Pizza and Parasha
• Hilchot Nidah
• Jewish U (twelve Classes, 175 participants)
• Sinai Scholars Society
• Gentlemen's Dinner with presentation on Mikvah
• Daily classes and Chevrutot, all day/night, every day of the week
and Purpose
Continued from Page 6
• Mitzvah Carnival
• Ski Trip
• Welcome Back Sushi Soiree
• Paint the Challah Bake
• Upstate Shabbaton in Albany
• Boy's Nights Out (Game Night and Israel Night)
• Unite for Putpose Hakhel Parties
‘19 Michael Steinberg and Randi Traison announce their engagement; a December 3, 2023, wedding is planned. Michael is an Office Manager and Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS) Coordinator in a psychiatrist’s office. Randi is a nurse at the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia on the GI, Endocrine, and Liver Transplant floor. Allison Adler announces her engagement to Evan Kalatizadeh; an August 22, 2023, wedding is planned. Allison is an Emergency Dept. nurse at NYU Langone; Evan is a Senior Property Accountant at Gotham Organization. They will make their home in the New York area.
‘20 Joey Aini announces his marriage to Sarah Lidagoster on August 9, 2022
‘21 Michael Schatz and Jordy Nussbaum announce their engagement; an August 27, 2023 wedding is planned. Michael is in his second year of Cardozo Law School; Jordy works in Ad Sales at Roku Inc. They will make their home on the UWS of Manhattan.
Randi Traison and Michael Steinberg announce their engagement. (see ‘19 for full details)
‘22 Jordy Nussbaum and Michael Schatz announce their engagement; see ‘21 for full details.
WGrab That Second Chance
By Rabbi Yanki Tauber
e all relate to a statement like “There’s always a second chance.” It soothes our harried souls, and fits nicely on the December 31 page of an Inspirational Sayings Desk Calendar. But how does it mesh with real day-to-day life? I took a small neighborhood survey.
“Well,” said Sarah L., a neighbor, “I missed the 6:22 coming home yesterday evening, and spent 35 minutes in the station reading a two-day-old newspaper—time I would have used to tell my daughter a bedtime story, if I’d gotten home in time. I’ll make that train today (I hope), but yesterday’s 6:22 ain’t ever coming ever again . . .”
“Well,” said Jeffrey H., a successful divorce lawyer, “twenty years ago I knew a wonderful girl that I wanted to marry. At one point, the words were at the tip of my tongue, and I just knew that she’d say ‘Yes.’ But the moment passed and I never did pop the question. I have no regrets—I’m happily married today—but that moment will never come back . . . Not in this lifetime, anyway.”
“Well,” said Forrest G., a business tycoon I know, “back in high school I had a friend who asked me if I thought he ought to go into politics. Now, this is the last guy in the world you’d want as head of state and commander-in-chief of a superpower. But I didn’t want to hurt his feelings, so I said, ‘Sure, go for it.’ I don’t have to tell you what a mess this guy made of our world during the eight years he was in office. That’s one decision that’s too late to change . . .”
What do we mean when we talk about a “second chance?” Is it the ability to step into a capsule, be transported to a previous point in time, jostle aside our previous, misguided self, and do it the right way this time? But if that’s all there’s to it, what has been gained? We could just as well have done it right the
first time!
The Torah’s idea of teshuvah (“return”) is not just the undoing or correcting of a past error. Rather, teshuvah is about transforming the past. It means reaching back to change the significance and the consequences of what happened, so that the end result is better than what would have been had it not occurred.
Sarah L.: “You know, if I’m honest about it, the truth is that even if I would have made that train, I would have sat and read through that bedtime story as quickly as I could, just because I’d promised my daughter that I would. My mind was on other things that day. But the fact that I missed the train and broke my promise made me realize how much my daughter needs me—and not just my physical presence, but also my attention and mindfulness. Tonight, I’m going to sit with her on her bed and really talk—something that we haven’t done for longer than I care to remember . . .”
Jeffrey H.: “You know, there is nothing that I value more than my marriage. I believe that the woman I married is my destined soulmate, the one who is truly the only person in the world for me. The more I think about it, the more I see that ‘missed opportunity’ in my past as a perpetual challenge to experience—and surpass—that degree of yearning and hope in our own relationship. I say to myself: If I was able to see such promise and depth of feeling in that false lead, how much more so in the real thing! It makes me fall in love with my wife all over again every day of my life.”
As for my business tycoon friend, instead of retiring (as he planned to do at 65), he’s been working day and night to fix the mess that guy made. Let’s see what he comes up with.
