Birth Parent Adoption Booklet

WHY CHOOSE ADOPTION?

CFFAMILY MEMBER

“The staff at Children & Families First helped me through the adoption process.

Adoption helped me build a solid future full of opportunity and hope for both me and my baby. I am forever grateful for all the help I received from CFF, along the way.”

-Jennifer, Adoption Birth Mother

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PREGNANT?

Have you considered adoption for your baby?

An unplanned pregnancy does not have to be a tragedy; it can be the beginning of a beautiful life for both you and your baby.

Adoption can help you both build solid futures full of opportunity and hope.

With Children & Families First you are never alone. One of our professional social workers can meet with you to help explore your feelings, evaluate your choices and focus on helping you to make an informed decision. This free counseling is available individually, or you can include the baby’s father, your parents and/or family members if you want them to participate.

Our social workers will help you process your emotions, make sure you know your legal rights and help you to make the decision that is best for you.

No option is easy, and there is no need to rush. In time, you will gain confidence and peace of mind in your decision whatever it may be.

One choice to consider is making an adoption plan for your baby. Did you know that the adoption process can begin at any time? It can begin as early as one month into the pregnancy or even after the baby is born. Some people’s first response to the idea of adoption is “I could never give my baby away!” However, today, adoption is different. These days adoption is not “giving a baby away.” It is one way a mother can choose to provide for her baby. Through adoption, a mother can provide her baby with a stable family, and the life and kind of future she would want for him or her.

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TYPES of Adoption WHAT WILL ADOPTION LOOK LIKE?

OPEN ADOPTION Open Adoption means there will be some form of ongoing contact between you and the family you choose to adopt your baby. This contact can include pictures, letters, phone calls, and visits.

SEMI-OPEN For some, a “Semi-Open” Adoption is the best plan.

In a Semi-Open Adoption, arrangements involve the exchange of letters and pictures without in-person contact. The children involved in Semi-Open Adoptions do not typically have direct contact with their first parents.

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owadays the most common form of adoption is an “Open Adoption.” An Open Adoption means there will be some form of ongoing contact between you and the family you choose to adopt your baby. This contact can include pictures, letters, phone calls, and visits.

There are different degrees of openness, and your social worker will help you to develop a plan built around your needs. Talking with our social worker does not mean you have decided on adoption.

However, it helps to talk to someone who cares and also can give you factual information.

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CLOSED ADOPTION For others, a “Closed Adoption” is the preferred option. In a Closed Adoption, there is no ongoing contact between birth/first families and adoptive families. These are usually anonymous with little to no identifying information shared between families.

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YOUR BABY Your Choice

Through Children & Families First Adoption Program you will have an opportunity to choose the kind of adoption you want and the family that you want for your baby. You can select from our pool of carefully screened and specially prepared approved waiting adoptive families.

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CREATING

an Adoption Plan for Your Baby

FINDING AN ADOPTIVE FAMILY Your social worker will provide you with pictures and written profiles of the families. You may choose to personally meet with several families to determine which family is best for your child. At Children & Families First, our waiting adoptive parents participate in a detailed eight-week long training program to prepare them for adoption. We also have an extensive screening process for each member of the family in our program. A social worker will conduct a thorough family assessment/home study. This assessment includes consultations in the family’s home, background checks, medical evaluations, financial verification, personal and employment references and FBI screening. Our families even go through CPR and First Aid certification before they can adopt a child.

YOUR HOSPITAL PLAN Your Children & Families First social worker will help you create a plan for your time at the hospital and work with your medical professional and the hospital staff to sensitively customize your delivery for you and your baby. You decide the support people you want to be with you, whether or not you would like the adoptive family to be there, and if you would like to hold your baby. Your child will be able to go directly from the hospital to join the family you have chosen for them so they can begin to bond right away. There is no need for foster care to be part of the process.

AFTER THE DELIVERY

FINDING A

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family with CFF!

Your Children & Families First social worker will be there to support you after the delivery. They are available to guide you in writing a keepsake letter to your child to help them understand why you decided on adoption as the best option for them. They can connect you to services to help you meet your goals for the future.

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WHY CHOOSE ADOPTION?

What about

my baby’s father?

There are many reasons why women choose adoption including: 

Some feel they are just not ready to be a mother.



Maybe they cannot provide their baby safety and stability.

 They may have plans for college or an opportunity for a

solid future.  Perhaps the pregnancy is the result of rape or incest.

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hat if you want to make an adoption plan for your baby and the father does not? You are not alone if you find yourself in this scenario. It is always simpler if the father agrees to adoption and provides his medical information. For legal reasons, he will most likely have to be contacted, but you do not have to be the one to do it. We can ensure that the father is advised of your decision and let him know of his options. Each adoption situation is unique, and our attorney can help determine if you can move forward with an adoption plan, even without the father’s consent depending on the facts. Often a birth father may not be supportive of an adoption plan because of his uncertainty, fear, and misinformation about adoption. Our social worker can meet with him to give him information which may alter his opinion once he learns about the adoption process, his rights and how he can work with you through the adoption journey.

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

Possibly there is no support from the baby’s father.



In some situations, there is an illness or jail sentence that prevents her from parenting.

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Alternatively, maybe she is unable to be the parent she would want for her baby at this time and has a strong desire for her baby to have a solid, two-parent family.

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IS MY BABY At Risk...

If you think you may test positive for any substances at your baby’s birth, making an adoption plan can prevent the state from becoming involved through The Division of Family Services. With adoption, you will have a say in what happens to your baby, and you can even stay in touch with the adoptive family after the adoption, which may not be the case if your child has to enter foster care.

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We have families waiting to adopt children of every race. We have families ready to adopt babies exposed to drugs or alcohol during pregnancy.

An unplanned pregnancy does not have to be a tragedy; it can be the beginning of a beautiful life for both you and your baby. Adoption can help you both build solid futures full of opportunity and hope. Talk to one of our professional social workers today to learn more.

(302) 658-5177 13

CFFAMILY MEMBER “Children & Families First helped tremendously to develop and to ensure and facilitate in an on-going way a meaningful, lasting relationship and communication between our family and Emily, our son Mark’s birth mother.

Lasting Love

An Adoption Story “Children & Families First and Emily strived to find the perfect adoptive family for Mark and miraculously, that was us! Based on my experience there were sensitive and realistic expectations and boundaries that were collaboratively created with Mark’s needs kept foremost in the formation of the arrangements and expectations during the adoption process.

Emily receives emails, letters, printed pictures from us through our social worker at Children & Families First.

We also use email to send pictures and brief updates and correspondence.

Adoptive mothers have to endure a painful insecurity that no one else can possibly understand. CFF has done tremendously helping everyone to be prepared for every aspect of this incredible journey, to their credit, especially the hard parts.” - Michael, Adoptive Parent

In planning for Mark’s future, Emily wanted her son’s parents to be ready to love and support him and the opportunity to hear how he was doing as he grew. Children & Families First social workers helped to facilitate the sharing of exciting developments in our son’s life and how he’s doing with Emily and that support has been invaluable for all of us. Emily receives pictures and letters from us several times a year. And we all benefit from CFF’s on-going support and learning opportunities for adoptive families.”

- Michael, Adoptive Parent

It’s not just our name,

IT’S OUR PROMISE Children & Families First helps children facing adversity on their journey to adulthood. We use proven methods to help Delaware families raise their children so they can flourish. Our continuum of programs work together to support families through major life phases: helping moms have healthy babies, enhancing early childhood success, and supporting teens, positive parenting, and family resources for success at home and work. Founded in 1884, CFF serves more than 40,000 clients statewide each year. Our child-centered and family-focused services are delivered where they are needed most: in homes, schools, agency locations, and other community sites.

OURVISION

Communities where children are nurtured, healthy, and safe; individuals are valued; and families are strong and self-sufficient.

OURVALUES

Accountability | Cultural Competency Empowerment | Respect | Advocacy Collaboration | Responsiveness

NEW CASTLE COUNTY MAIN OFFICE 809 Washington Street Wilmington, DE 19801 302.658.5177

KENT COUNTY

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410 South Bedford Street Georgetown, DE 19947 302.856.2388

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