SPOTLIGHT: Mental Well-being

Many of us with struggle with mental health at some stage in our lives. This can vary from stress, anxiety, depression, fatigue and anger. The mind, like the body, needs to be taken care of. Finding the right support is key to dealing with mental health and well-being. Mental health supports come in a variety of forms from mindfulness to journalling, exercising to hobbies, medication to counselling. Each of these supports have a variety of options also so it is important to find something that suits you and that helps.

In this Spotlight, Amy Whelan, PWCF shares her experience of mental health, in life and during the pandemic. We would like to thank Amy for being so honest in sharing her story with us. We hope that this article will start a discussion on mental health and encourage anyone who may be struggling to seek help and support.

Some readers may find this article triggering. Details of supports available can be found on pages 12 & 13.

My ‘journey’ with my mental health has been as unique as my history with CF, which I believe is no coincidence. Days that bring difficulty and discomfort become a part of our lives living with an invisible chronic illness. We are all aware of the physical impacts of CF, the symptoms, the flare-ups, the exacerbations and the dreaded progression. The impact doesn’t always stop there, my mental health has always been intertwined with my physical health, but it took the best part of a decade to figure that out. The more I began to understand about my own experience the more I came to realise the discussion around our mental health and emotional well-being was somewhat of an afterthought, something used to name and blame or more often than not, absent altogether.

I like to believe we cannot help what we do not acknowledge. For me, recognizing where I found myself with my mental health and reaching out for the support I needed, changed everything. I promised myself in writing this I would be as honest as I could be. I hope through sharing our experiences it will benefit the way we talk and care for all aspects of our health.

Looking back, my mental health was always giving me a sign that it was struggling. I have memories as early as five dealing with panic and anxiety with medical interventions. The depression came later in my teens, but it was always hidden under a blanket of anxiety. At 15 I went through a CF-related trauma that left lasting marks, I spent the year that followed in a haze. The remaining of my teen years were compounded by stress, of which nearly crushed me. I spent half of my time in education absent as I dealt with my complications of CF, the apprehension made sense. My acceptance to University brought a huge relief, I was told and believed that my ability to study independently would finally benefit me as I moved into third level education. As my journey would have it, instead this marked the beginning of the most difficult chapter I have had to face with my mental health.

I spent five years trying to complete my undergraduate degree. It was everything that I dreamed of yet inside I was crumbling as each semester passed. My memories of that time are foggy and I wasn’t truly myself, which if you have ever experienced is incredibly uncomfortable. I was struggling to cope. My social anxiety became the red flag that signaled something needed to stop. I started to have panic attacks, any type of social situation caused me physical anguish. I knew deep down that it might be time to step away from my studies. That day broke my heart to pieces, it felt like I was asking myself to give up on a dream. At that time I wasn’t sure if I’d ever return. I had hope that this was not the only way to live and that better days lay ahead. Knowing where I am now, I was right. In the months that followed that day, the pain and sadness lingered but the healing had begun. I remember begging my parents to not tell a soul that I would not be returning as I tried to process my decision. I felt too ashamed. I think you can tell from me including this moment here that I do not feel the same for that decision now. It will take every ounce of strength you have in those moments, but with time and support those moments will become your turning points just like mine have.

The years that have followed since that day are a story in itself, but I can say with certainty that it was all up from here. I enrolled in Social Anxiety Ireland’s group program led by Dr. Odhran McCarthy. I credit this program for enabling me to create the tools I needed to lower my anxiety over time. I still use these tools when I need to and my social anxiety no longer interferes with my life. I have had the support of psychologists through my CF Clinic. I have seen quite a few over the years, my first as early as eight years old. Finding a therapist that you trust and feel comfortable with is so important and can take time. It’s something I can’t quite explain, but you will know when it feels right for you. It makes a world of difference and I would urge you not to give up. It’s not personal and a good therapist will understand this. I have immense gratitude for my current therapist for the support they have given me.

I have an analogy that I like to use for how therapy feels for me. I imagine the inky black, dark spaces of my mind that I have found myself in (depression) not knowing what way is up, is akin to being underwater. Therapy allows me to visit those spaces gently, in my own time, with someone I trust to help guide me. Slowly resurfacing, otherwise it all gets a bit messy and hard to understand. I know when I find myself in that space again, underwater, I will have built the tools to find my way out. I like to think of it like scuba diving but I’ve never been so it’s very abstract, which I think is very fitting.

Talking about my mental health I cannot exclude my experience with the CF Modulators, one of which I have found stability in my physical health for the first time. This is a part of a much larger topic but I’ve found just as any significant transition can have an emotional impact, this too has been no different. It’s no doubt been a dream, I feel very lucky to have had the opportunity to experience this but it has still been tough. I have never been this present in my own life, it’s both wonderful and jarring when it’s not something I am used to. My advice as we go forward with these modulators in our lives is be to be kind to yourself. Whatever you feel regarding these new advancements is valid and okay. It’s new and there is no right way to process these life-altering moments, no matter where your story leads you.

I also need to include the elephant in the room that is covid-19. It has changed all of our lives in many ways this year. Dealing with the risk of this infection whilst being categorized as very high / high risk is no easy feat. There is so much to be said that I can’t possibly cover it all here. Mentally, this second lockdown has been a lot tougher for me. Every day seems to blend into one and time is nonsensical. The stress I have felt this year was like nothing I’ve felt before. For me it’s not the infection risk that caused this spike in stress and I know this will not be a common feeling, instead being suspended in the same pattern with little change and far too much indoor time has caused a few wobbles for me. I didn’t realise how much I relied on my routines to help balance my emotional well-being.

I find myself very fatigued and right now it’s a daily battle reminding myself that it’s okay to go slow. I remain hopeful overall that an end is in sight and that change will come. I believe just like supporting your mental health there is no right or wrong way to cope with the magnitude of disruption this infection has caused. Therapy has and continues to be a huge support for the revolving door of emotions and stressors that I have felt. Whatever these last few months have been like for you, know you’re not alone. I’ll be right there with you taking baby steps as we weather this winter season.

Earlier this year, during our first lockdown, CFI ran a mindfulness course led by Niamh Connolly, CBT Therapist. I found this course to be a great source of support and knowledge. I’ve very thankful to both CFI and Niamh for creating this space.

I hope as we continue to share our stories and change the language we use around our mental health, more spaces and supports are made available for our community. I hope in some way sharing a snapshot of my story has encouraged you to seek the supports you need. If you don’t know what it is that you need, that’s okay too, ask for help anyway. Amy

Mental Health Supports

It is estimated that over 18% of people in Ireland are living with a mental health illness. This number is now likely to be much higher as a result of COVID-19.

The COVID-19 pandemic has impacted everyone's life. The restrictions have meant that we are staying at home more, having less social interactions and not exercising as much as usual. The reduction in routine and balance can have a negative impact on both your physical and mental health.

For many, the worry and upset caused by COVID-19 will be temporary. However, for some, the impact will be more severe.

The recent COVID-19 survey carried out by Cystic Fibrosis Ireland in conjunction with UCD showcased that the CF Community are experiencing high levels of anxiety, stress and depression.

It is important to recognise if you are struggling to cope. Help is available. Signs and symptoms can vary in individuals. If you have concerns about yourself or someone close to you it is important to seek help.

Unsure of where to go? Face-to-face mental health services are limited at the moment because of the COVID-19 pandemic, however a number of HSE and charity organisations are providing online, text message and telephone services. The HSE has put together a handy list of available resources where you will find links to

- Online counselling supports

-Phone, email and text services Apps to support your mental wellbeing

- Specific supports for young people, parents / guardians and older people

A selection of these supports are available on page 13. Alternatively you can access the full list of information on www.hse.ie/services/mental-health-supports-and-services-during-coronavirus